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13/11/1 https://prev-criterion.ets.org/cwe/report/emailWATSummary.php?user_id=5080941&attempt_dt=1383311130&assign_id=780929&level_id=455634 Expanded Performance Summary Report Student Name: 1310pu028 1310pu028 Class Name: 201310PUFLCBusiness Essay Assignment: Advertising and Obesity (bus.) Submitted: November 01, 2013, 09:06:14 PM CST Time Taken: 1 minute 17 seconds Score: 5 out of 6 Question: A recent study in the Journal of Pediatric Obesity reports that if current trends continue, almost half the children in North and South America and 38 percent of those in the European Union will be obese by 2010. Physicians studying the trend place much of the blame on the advertising and marketing industry, which, they say, pushes junk food on kids relentlessly. Some physicians argue that, given the massive human and financial toll this potential epidemic could take, all advertising of junk food to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree? Explain your position with reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading. You have solid writing skills and something interesting to say. Your essay: Responds more effectively to some parts of the topic or task than to other parts Shows some depth and complexity in your thinking Organizes and develops your ideas with reasons and examples that are appropriate Uses the range of language and syntax available to you Uses grammar, mechanics, or sentence structure with hardly any error Holistic Score: 5 out of 6 Trait Feedback Analysis Grammar: 0 errors Usage: 0 errors Mechanics: 0 errors Style: 0 comments Essay: Nowadays, when you walk on the street, you can see a number of people who are stricken with obesity. In addition to irregular exercise, do you know the other reasons for causing this situation? As far as I’m concerned, it’s intensely related to advertising. There are some reasons as follows: The occasion when advertising shows is the first reason. According to the study, the unhealthy advertisements’ show time is always designed at certain times on purpose. Such as McDonald, Coca-Cola, KFC, and so on; this kind of advertising usually shows when the time after children’s favorite cartoons end. It then will expose children to getting used to the unhealthy food on TV. With time elapsing, junk food and sugar drinks will be understood that the junk food can serve as daily food by children. What’s more, there is another factor why advertising is more influential on children. Because the fast food advertising usually said, ‘‘Buy one Happy Meal, get a toy.’’ So that, children will ask their parents to purchase meals, just in order to receive those toys. Moreover, how often does the unhealthy advertisements show on TV is the second reason. Based on the government’s statistics, this kind of advertisements shows much time than the other’s on TV, especially at our dinner time. On account of this, people will be riveted to purchase the food which is rich in calories as their meals or desserts. https://prev-criterion.ets.org/cwe/report/emailWATSummary.php?user_id=5080941&attempt_dt=1383311130&assign_id=780929&level_id=455634 1/2 13/11/1 https://prev-criterion.ets.org/cwe/report/emailWATSummary.php?user_id=5080941&attempt_dt=1383311130&assign_id=780929&level_id=455634 Finally, since the commercial usually create a blissful atmosphere, together with a fashionable illusion, it misleads some people to consider the food which is harmful to human’s body is great, pleasure and popular. In the light of my points of view above, the ads indeed can lead some influence on obesity problems. Therefore, many countries have laid down some laws to restrict the unhealthy ads and also push a series of video to appeal to publicity not to purchase those kinds of food or drinks too often. For example, in 2013, the New York government makes a film that shows what people drink resemble fat. “Drinking 1 can of soda a day can make you 10 pounds fatter a year” which is a famous sentence from the New York’s advocacy advertising. To sum up, advertisements have truly become a new “Accomplice” that makes people obese. https://prev-criterion.ets.org/cwe/report/emailWATSummary.php?user_id=5080941&attempt_dt=1383311130&assign_id=780929&level_id=455634 2/2