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WRITING INTRODUCTIONS Companion to the Prentice Hall Reference Guide What is the goal of an introduction? Alert the reader to the topic of the paper Grab the readers’ interest to make them want to read more In a deductively organized paper, lead into the main idea or thesis How might your readers respond if you fail to provide a strong introduction? Your readers may become confused about your main point. Your readers may decide not to read the rest of your article. How might your readers respond if you fail to provide a strong introduction? Your readers may conclude that you are not a credible, authoritative source of information. Your readers may fail to be persuaded by your argument. Weak introductions Avoid the following: Being too direct about your writing purpose “In this paper, I will . . .” Being “In vague or pompous today’s society . . .” Being obvious “Computers are important in modern society.” Being “As pushy any reader will agree…” Introductory strategies Strong title Vivid description Surprising statistics Personal narrative (informal) Someone else’s story Future possibility Relevant quotation Thoughtful question (often informal) Strong title Greet your reader with a thought-provoking opening. Make compelling, interesting, and informative word choices. When suitable, use a title and subtitle. Pick a title What would be the best title for a paper on selecting and using compact fluorescent light bulbs, which save energy and help curb the effects of global warming? “Global Warming” “Save Energy” “An Ounce of Prevention Is Worth a Pound of Cure” “Bright Ideas: Lighting a Home with Less Energy” Pick a title This title is too general and doesn’t grab the readers’ attention. The paper is not really about global warming. It is about one step that can be taken to conserve energy. “Global Warming” “Save Energy” “An Ounce of Prevention Is Worth a Pound of Cure” “Bright Ideas: Lighting a Home with Less Energy” Strong title “Global Warming” “Save Energy” “An Ounce of Prevention Is Worth a Pound of Cure” “Bright Ideas: Lighting a Home with Less Energy” This title is too direct in making a command to the reader. It is also not very exciting. Pick a title “Global Warming” “Save Energy” “An Ounce of Prevention Is Worth a Pound of Cure” “Bright Ideas: Lighting a Home with Less Energy” This title is a cliché—a common phrase that is worn out from years of use. Clichés do not make effective titles. Pick a title This is a good title that grabs the readers’ attention. “Bright Ideas” makes a clever reference to light bulbs. The information after the colon is written as a descriptive phrase that explains the main idea of the paper. “Global Warming” “Save Energy” “An Ounce of Prevention Is Worth a Pound of Cure” “Bright Ideas: Lighting a Home with Less Energy” Vivid description Helps your readers to visualize the problem or issue raised in the paper Grabs your readers’ attention Can help to build an emotional appeal early in the paper Motivates your readers from the beginning of the paper to be persuaded by your argument Vivid description Teetering on a tiny block of ice, fatigued from its 60-mile swim through frigid water, the tired polar bear again dives into the endless ocean, desperately searching for the food needed to maintain its life. After swimming for miles in rough ocean currents, the exhausted polar bear still cannot find food, much less an ice chunk large enough to climb upon and rest. Suffering from hypothermia and unable to maintain the energy needed to stay above water, the polar bear sinks beneath the ocean’s waves, a victim of its changing habitat. Sadly, scientists have discovered evidence of numerous polar bear drownings in recent months. The size of the Arctic ice shelf, where polar bears live and raise their young, has receded dramatically within the last twenty years due to climate change, forcing polar bears to make long-distance swims to find food (Iredale). The decline in the polar bear population is just one of the many adverse effects caused by global warming. Surprising statistics Must be from credible, documented sources Can highlight the urgency of the problem addressed in the paper Provide a factual basis for your argument Offer the reader a context for understanding the need for a solution Surprising statistics From 2006 to 2007, the size of the Arctic ice shelf decreased 386,000 square miles, reducing Arctic sea ice to its lowest levels since satellite records have been tracking the region (Than). In 2007, NASA scientists confirmed that the annual ice melt on Greenland occurred at 150% above the average rate of melt documented over the last twenty years (“Parts”). Such reports are spurring concerns among climate change experts, who are discovering that earlier predictions about the rate of Arctic ice melt may have been too conservative (Than). Julianne Stroeve, a scientist with the National Snow and Ice Data Center at the University of Colorado at Boulder, reports that ice melt patterns are “about 30 years ahead of where the climate models say we should be” (qtd. in Thompson). Over time, the increased ocean levels caused by the melting ice could affect or potentially displace the 673 million people who live on the world’s coastlines (“Rising”). In response to such data, national governments need to take immediate action to curb the carbon emissions that contribute to global warming as well as prepare coastal communities for rising ocean levels. Personal narrative Start with a short story about something that has happened to you. This technique can establish your credibility and your authoritative knowledge about the subject. In formal papers, get permission for a first-person introduction. Personal narrative Beautiful rolling hills, majestic forests, and stately rivers adorn Germany’s landscape. On my recent trip through this country, however, my eyes were drawn not to these famed geographical features, but rather to the giant, stately wind turbines that punctuate the German countryside. Along many highways, wind farms stand on hillsides and tower above forests, blades gently turning in unison to gather the wind’s natural energy and convert it into the electricity needed to power the country. As I traveled along the Autobahn, I found myself searching out these wind turbines in the distance and appreciating a new kind of beauty—the beauty in a unified national effort to reduce dependence on fossil fuels and fight climate change. By 2020, Germany expects 27% of its electricity to be powered by alternative energy sources (“Germany”). The United States should follow Germany’s example and invest more heavily in wind farms to produce energy and reduce carbon emissions. Someone else’s story A short narrative example about a situation or event that has actually happened. This technique can help to establish an emotional or ethical appeal for your audience—it puts a face on a problem. Real examples can be drawn from interviews with people you know or from researched material. Someone else’s story The citizens of Tuvalu are losing their country. Some scientists predict that Tuvalu, a narrow nine-island nation located in the South Pacific, may completely submerge into the ocean within 30 to 50 years. The accelerated melting of polar icecaps, linked to the effects of global warming, are predicted to cause ocean levels to rise over the country’s land mass; Tuvalu’s highest point is only fifteen feet above sea level (Berzon). About 2,000 of its citizens have already migrated to New Zealand (“Pacific”), counted among the world’s first refugees in the battle against global warming. To prevent further catastrophic effects of global warming, the United States government should join other nations in the global community and pledge to reduce carbon emissions. Future possibility Hypothetical examples describe situations that have not actually happened but could potentially occur. Such examples highlight the potential damage of failing to resolve a problem by following your solution. Future possibility The year is 2060, and a schoolchild is studying a map of the United States. For some reason, the U.S. looks smaller on this map than it did in 2010. In fact, due to climate change and the melting of glaciers, the ocean has risen one meter (39 inches) over the last fifty years. Places school groups used to visit, like Miami’s South Beach, Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco, historic Virginia landmarks, and parts of lower Manhattan, are now under water. Unfortunately, this scenario is likely to become a reality. According to scientists at the University of Arizona, within the next fifty to one-hundred years, 25,000 square miles of American soil will be lost to the expanding ocean, flooding many heavily populated areas along America’s shores (Borenstein). Given these dire predictions, Americans should take immediate steps to prepare coastal communities and reduce carbon emissions to prevent an even more severe loss of land and life. Relevant quotation A verbatim (word for word) statement by a figure of authority related to the problem at hand DO NOT Select a quote from a non-authoritative source Select a cliché Select a quote unrelated to the issue Relevant quotation “We’re going to get a meter and there is nothing we can do about it,” states climatologist Andrew Weaver, a researcher with the Nobel prize-winning Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, regarding the predicted one-meter increase in the world’s ocean levels over the next 50 to 100 years (qtd. in Borenstein). S. Jeffress Williams, a coastal geologist with the United States Geological Survey, warns, "Sea level rise is going to have more general impact to the population and the infrastructure than almost anything else that I can think of" (qtd. in Borenstein). Americans need to make long-term plans to address the effects of increased ocean levels, and the United States government needs to take the lead in helping coastal communities plan for this geographical change. Thoughtful question A good question may force your readers to think seriously about your topic and invest themselves into the paper. Do not ask a simple “yes” or “no” question—address the complexity of your issue. Try to answer the question posed somewhere in the paper. Do not use questions in the BODY of your essay—only in the introduction. Thoughtful question: Informal How much carbon are you responsible for releasing into the atmosphere every time you drive to work or school? How about when you take an airline flight, run your air conditioner, or plug in your toaster? How many metric tons of carbon are you responsible for releasing into the Earth’s atmosphere this year? If you have not thought much about your role in releasing carbon emissions into the atmosphere, you should. Just as each person inevitably leaves a carbon footprint on this planet, each of us has a responsibility for clearing our tracks and contributing to a healthy atmosphere. By taking simple steps to conserve energy in the places you live, work, and travel, you can significantly reduce your carbon emissions. How do you decide which type of strategy to use for your paper? Think about which one would best fit the purpose of your paper—to inform, to persuade, to educate, etc. Consider the strengths, weaknesses, and overall content of your research material Contemplate the concerns of your audience Consider the level of formality: personal stories and direct second-person questions are not appropriate in formal essays. How do you decide which type of strategy to use for your paper? Judge the seriousness of your topic and the way your audience might respond to your thesis statement. At times, using a combination of introductory approaches can be effective. Types of introductory strategies Strong title Vivid description Surprising statistics Personal narrative Actual example Future possibility Relevant quotation Thoughtful question Works Cited Berzon, Alexandra. “Global Warning: Tuvalu.” California Magazine Sept.-Oct. 2006. 10 Oct. 2007 <http://alumni.berkeley.edu/calmag/200609/tuvalu.asp>. Borenstein, Seth. “Rising Seas Likely to Flood U.S. History.” ABC News. 23 Sept. 2007. 9 Oct. 2007 <http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/WireStory?id=3638418&page=1>. “Germany to Add 9,000 MW Wind Power by 2020.” Reuters UK. 8 May 2007. 12 Oct. 2007 <http://uk.reuters.com/article/environmentNews/idUKL0831473820070508>. Iredale, Will. “Polar Bears Drown as Ice Shelf Melts.” Times Online. 18 Dec. 2005. 12 Oct. 2007 <http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article767459.ece>. “Pacific Islanders on the Move.” New York Times 19 Feb. 2003. 10 Oct. 2007 <http://query.nytimes.com>. Path: “Oceania: Pacific Islanders on the Move.” “Parts of Greenland Ice Melting at a Faster Rate.” MSNBC. 25 Sept. 2007. 10 Oct. 2007 <http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20976034>. “Rising Seas Threaten 21 Mega-Cities.” Guardian Unlimited. 20 Oct. 2007. 20 Oct. 2007 <http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,,-7011686,00.html>. Than, Ker. “Arctic Meltdown Opens Fabled Northwest Passage.” LiveScience. 14 Sept. 2007. 11 Oct. 2007 <http://www.livescience.com/environment/070914_northwest_passage.html>. Thompson, Andrea. “Two More Signals from Arctic Sea Ice.” MSNBC. 24 Sept. 2007. 10 Oct. 2007 <http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20959884>.