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Christ the Redeemer School Division
Student Writing Handbook
Curriculum-Based Handbook
Purpose
This handbook has been created to provide you with tools
necessary to be successful when teaching students who will be
taking the English 30-1 exam. However, these skills should be
developed in grades 10 and 11 as well, and this is why this guide is
a general high school resource.
Index
1. Paragraphs
 11 point Paragraph
 Unity, Coherence and Completeness in Paragraphs
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
The Essay
Revision and Style
Common Writing Problems
Grammar
Citing Sources
Appendix
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Student Writing Handbook
Personal Response to Texts Assignment
The Personal Response to Texts Assignment asks you to respond to texts and a
thematic topic. These texts may include any combination of poetry, excerpts from
fiction, and non fiction, and will include a visual text(s).
This assignment is designed to
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

provide you with the opportunity to use a prose form of your choice to create personal
responses that convey your ideas as prompted by the reading of a text or texts
encourage the expression of your personal voice with an awareness of the intended
audiences of the prose forms that you have chosen
introduce you to the thematic topic of the Critical / Analytical Response to Literary Texts
Assignment
Value: 20% of the total examination mark (Parts A and B combined)
Scoring:
Ideas and Impressions – 10%
Presentation – 10%
Sample Personal Response to Texts Assignment
Suggested time: approximately 45–60 minutes
The following excerpt from a novel is set in 1918. Kathleen Piper left New Waterford, Nova
Scotia, to train as an opera singer in New York City. Kathleen is 18 years old.
from FALL ON YOUR KNEES
Corruption hangs in the air around a great talent. Such a gift is unstable by nature, apt to
embarrass its handlers. About her there is the whiff of the entertainer. Like vaudeville nipping the
heels of grand opera. The maestro smells all this on Kathleen and cools his blood to a
temperature undetectable by wild animals. Before him lies a gruelling task. It is so much easier to
shape competence. Yet, in a small spot beneath the hardest part of his skull, the maestro is
feverish with excitement. You don’t get a student like this every day? Perhaps two in a lifetime.
He prepares to show her no mercy.
As Kathleen works harder and harder, she walks farther and farther. Between sadistic singing
lessons with the maestro and suffocatingly sedate suppers with Giles, Kathleen walks the length
and breadth of the Island of Manhattan. From the East River to the Hudson; from Battery Park to
the Haarlem River.
One day, a girl is sitting at the maestro’s grand piano when Kathleen drags herself up to the
studio. She is Rose, in a pale pink dress perfect for a dear little thing with an open face and a
trusting nature, and therefore all wrong on Rose.
Rose is an extremely good pianist, but Kathleen doesn’t notice that at first, for two reasons.
First, because when you’re training . . . in New York City, with one eye on the Met and the other
on obscurity, you don’t notice the quality of the piano accompaniment during your lesson unless it
is incompetent. But this pianist is doubly inaudible because she is black and therefore outside any
system that nurtures and advances a classical virtuoso. So Kathleen thinks of Rose not as a
pianist but as an accompanist.
When Rose looks at Kathleen the first time, she sees a daughter of fortune and looks back
down at her piano keys. When she looks the second time it is to verify that the sound that just
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Student Writing Handbook
filled the room really came from that milk-fed thing standing on the carpet. The voice is worth
considering. The singer can go to hell.
“The piano is out of tune,” says Kathleen.
Ordinarily, Kathleen says nothing during her lessons. She makes the sounds the maestro
orders her to make and, in the privacy of her own mind, thinks up a thousand devastating retorts
with which to slay him. But today she is impelled to speak, because what’s the good of an
accompanist if she can’t even hear when the piano is off key? Kathleen has addressed her
observation to the maestro, but Rose addresses Kathleen, “The piano is perfectly in tune. You’re
flat.”
Kathleen glares at the accompanist, with equal parts fury and disbelief. And the accompanist
looks back — calm, level gaze. Insolent, more like it, how dare she? Handsome features cut like
sculpture into her face, so at odds with the puffed sleeves and schoolgirl braids. Kathleen looks
away dismissively from the bean-pole in a hand-me-down dress. She expects the maestro to
scold the accompanist or, preferably, fire her. But instead he turns to Kathleen. “Perhaps if you
were less intent upon making noise, and more intent upon listening, you might learn to hear the
difference between that” — the maestro jabs at a piano key — “and this” — the maestro makes a
horrible honking sound through his nose, supposedly in imitation of Kathleen.
Kathleen floods crimson. The maestro instructs her coolly, “Lesson One: The Scale.” Lesson
One! Kathleen takes a breath and steadies herself for the giant step backwards. She pictures a
shining sword sharp at both edges, and sings the scale, pondering all the while who is worse:
Sister Saint Monica, or this singing teacher whom she has come to think of as the Kaiser. And
before she is halfway through the scale, she decides: the accompanist is worse.
Rose plays the scale and watches the singer. Decides she is not white, not even red. But
green. Faintly visible, called up by outrage, are the veins at her wrists, neck, temple. This is the
only physical detail that corroborates the voice, which Rose knows to be not of human origin. The
green must be seaweed. Rose allows her mind to wander in this way whenever she is required to
play in harness. It helps take the sting from the bit. Rose has no need of fancy when she plays
her own music, because there is no difference between her own music and her mind. All alone
after hours in a second-storey church in Haarlem, far north of this studio. Free rein.
But for now: Lesson One — La Scala.
Ann-Marie MacDonald
Extracted from Fall On Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald. Copyright © 1996 by Ann-Marie
MacDonald. Reprinted by permission of Alfred A. Knopf Canada.
The 431 Air Demonstration Squadron
consists of approximately 80 Canadian
Forces personnel, including the 24
members of the show team, the
Snowbirds. For 34 seasons, the Snowbirds
have demonstrated to the North American
public the skill, professionalism, and
teamwork of the men and women of the
Canadian Forces. During a performance,
the Snowbirds will fly at speeds ranging
from 185 km/h to 590 km/h, at times
passing within 10 meters of each other.
The Snowbirds strive for perfection and the
team members are well-known for their
skill but they have experienced tragedy.
Four pilots have lost their lives during air
show performances.
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Student Writing Handbook
I THINK CONTINUALLY OF THOSE WHO WERE TRULY GREAT
Spender, Stephen. “I think continually of those who were truly great.” In Collected Poems, 1928–1953. New York:
Random House, 1955. Used with permission from Ed Victor Ltd.
I think continually of those who were truly great.
Who, from the womb, remembered the soul’s history
Through corridors of light where the hours are suns,
Endless and singing. Whose lovely ambition
Was that their lips, still touched with fire,
Should tell of the Spirit, clothed from head to foot in song.
And who hoarded from the Spring branches
The desires falling across their bodies like blossoms.
What is precious, is never to forget
The essential delight of the blood drawn from ageless springs
Breaking through rocks in worlds before our earth.
Never to deny its pleasure in the morning simple light
Nor its grave evening demand for love.
Never to allow gradually the traffic to smother
With noise and fog, the flowering of the Spirit.
Near the snow, near the sun, in the highest fields,
See how these names are fêted by the waving grass
And by the streamers of white cloud
And whispers of wind in the listening sky.
The names of those who in their lives fought for life,
Who wore at their hearts the fire’s centre.
Born of the sun, they traveled a short while toward the sun,
And left the vivid air signed with their honour.
Stephen Spender
The texts presented in the Sample Personal Response to Texts Assignment on
pages 10 to 14 do not necessarily indicate the length or number of texts that will
be presented to students in the 2005 Part A: Written Response, Personal
Response to Texts Assignments.
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The Assignment
In the excerpt from Fall On Your Knees, the narrator describes how three
individuals respond to each other as they each pursue an ideal. The highly skilled
men and women of the Snowbirds described and photographed on page 11 are
both individually and collectively responsible for the team’s successes and
failures. The photographs on page 12 capture moments from the Snowbird’s
awe-inspiring performances. In the poem “The Truly Great” on page 13, the
speaker explores the nature of those individuals who exemplify excellence.
What do these texts suggest to you about the role individualism plays in
the pursuit of excellence? Support your idea(s) with reference to one or
more of the texts presented and to your previous knowledge and/or
experience.
In your writing, you must
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
select a prose form that is appropriate to the ideas you wish to express and that will
enable you to communicate effectively to the reader
discuss ideas and/or impressions that are relevant to this assignment
Initial Planning
You may respond from a personal, critical, and/or creative perspective. Keep in
mind that regardless of the form you choose, you must communicate clearly to
the reader.
Briefly identify your choice of prose form, your reason(s) for choosing this prose
form, and what you intend to communicate.
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________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
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There are a variety of approaches that you can use for the personal response to texts
assignment. Remember that one response that is not appropriate is creating poetry. Other than
that, here are a few suggestions:
Reflective Essay – of, relating to, produced by, or resulting from reflection, an essay related to
the topic provided. This would be the personal approach to the question.
Critical Analysis Essay – analyzing the texts in a formal manner.
Monologue – a dramatic soliloquy, a literary composition in the form of a soliloquy, a long speech
made by one person, often monopolizing a conversation
Script – the text of a play, broadcast, or movie, a copy of a text used by a director or performer.
Correspondence – a series of letters, emails, etc… Communication by the exchange of letters,
the letters written or received.
Diary entry or entries – A series of daily records, especially a personal record of events,
experiences, and observations; a journal.
Obituary – A published speech or written tribute, especially one praising someone who has died.
Eulogy – A laudatory speech or written tribute, especially one praising someone who has died.
Short Story – A short prose work based on the question and visuals and texts provided.
Reliving the Moment
A Recommendation Report based on the texts provided
Psychologist’s Report
Report Card
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Planning/Reflection
Ask the following questions:
 What ideas, feelings, or impressions does the text communicate to me about the topic?
 What details in the text create and convey these ideas, feelings, or impressions?
 What have I experienced or learned that is relevant to my ideas, feelings, or impressions
of the topic and/or the text?
 How might one or more of these texts relate to one another, my ideas, and the topic?
 What ideas & support will allow me to compose the most effective response to the topic?
Choice of Prose Form –
 What prose form will allow me to communicate my ideas and impressions most
effectively?
 What prose forms have allowed me to communicate successfully in the past? Have I
been able to master a creative approach? Are my skills best suited to a formal or
conventional composition?
 What prose form will best suit the ideas I wish to present?
 How can I use language and develop my ideas to make my writing communicate
effectively?
Suggestions:
 Make sure you answer the question
 Connect key word early
 Include note to marker to explain choice of style, why and “thesis” to answer the question
 Focus on character development (motivation, perspective over time) vs. plot
 Number of errors detracts from presentation
 Use series of entries if diary or letters
 Age of character reflects in vocabulary and style only
 Consider audience
 Minimum 3 – 5 references
 Photos –
think about 5 Ws (though don’t state these)
How and why vs. who and what
Work backwards from the photo
Risk vs. obvious
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Examples – Note to Marker
My personal response will be written in the form of a diary. I chose this style to develop the inner
thoughts and feelings of the character and her response to the changeable nature of life. She
discovers that change is inevitable but does not have to be negative. If an individual faces
change with acceptance and open-mindedness, it can be a positive experience – even of
personal growth.
…she learns that in order to persevere through all the changes that life brings, one must cling to
faith/maintain beliefs/embrace the support of community/make rational choices (not based of
emotion)
…in the form of a newspaper article to comment objectively…
…in the form of a series of letters to show the common bond between husband/wife, friends
regarding their shared human experience…
In the form of a eulogy to reflect on life lessons learned/gained from this person and/or
experiences…
If you choose a PERSONAL RESPONSE, here are some suggestions –
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The question asks you to explore what the texts suggest to you about the
topic. Therefore, you must make sure you reference the text(s) in your
response.
One way to approach this is to write a paragraph or series of paragraphs
analyzing one or more of the texts provided on the exam. Then, connect
the ideas explored to personal experience or knowledge.
Make sure the transition between the two parts of the response is smooth.
Personal response to the visual – your response should be as specific and
detailed as possible. Imagine as clearly as possible the reasons why a
person in the image is performing a particular action. What do you think
motivates that person? In what way could this motivation relate to
yourself, either with experiences you have had or ones you imagine you
may have? Relate the image to your own experiences and
understandings.
If you choose a CRITICAL RESPONSE, here are some suggestions –
When you respond to the visual(s):
When writing your response, consider the following –


Audience
Purpose

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Organization of your
thoughts
Appropriate vocabulary
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
Edit the response

Time restraints
Suggestions from Alberta Education that explain in greater detail the
visual
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Take note of the features of the picture
Ask the question who, what, where, when, shy and how
The response should include the following:
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The subject of the image includes the people, things and setting
that are contained in the pictures. You could ask what you can tell
about the people from their appearance or from their dress. What
are they doing? How do the people relate to each other in their
groups?
The body language of a subject refers to the posture or gestures
he or she uses that express how the person feels. You might ask
what attitude is suggested by the person’s posture. What
movement is suggested by the position of the arm and legs?
Facial expressions may seem like an obvious feature of the
subject to note, but to improve your response; you may also want to
consider the relation between the facial expressions of the subjects.
Composition describes the way the people and objects in the
photograph are arranged to create an effect. What does the
arrangement of the elements of the photograph tell you about what
might be its intended effect? Who or what appears in the
background?
Levels refers to the placement of elements within the frame of the
photograph. With the levels we are not thinking of the foreground
and background; instead we are looking for the placement of the
photographs elements on a horizontal and vertical plane? Was the
shot taken from beneath the subject, above the subject or at eye
level? What elements are placed near the center of the image and
what elements are located along the periphery?
Colours relates to the range of colour used in the image. Consider
the effects conveyed by objects that have brighter colours in
relation to those that have darker or duller colours. Why are the
brighter colours emphasized in the image? Also consider the use
of light and shadow. Is the lighting natural, coming from the sun or
the moon? If it is a black and white photograph, consider the
following – does the black and white finish make the image seem
harsh? Does the image appear sharper?
Always relate the image back to yourself. There are two advantages in
taking this approach:
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The Visual Response Paragraph
Topic statement

What is the overall impression of the photo?
Supporting Statement #1

Identify a specific photography technique that is used successfully. For
example, a student could mention the use of subject, body language…
Reference #1

Cite a reference directly from the photograph that is an example of the
technique mentioned in the supporting statement.
Comment #1
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Connect the reference to your overall impression of the photograph.
Supporting Statement #2
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Identify another specific photography technique.
Reference #2
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Cite another specific reference from the photograph.
Comment #2
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Connect this reference to you overall impressions of the visual image.
Supporting Statement #3
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Highlight the last and perhaps the strongest photography technique
Reference #3
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Go to the picture and find the strongest and most compelling example.
Comment #3

Explain how that visual reference reinforces your impression.
Closing statement

This is your last chance to impress your opinion upon the reader and
reinforce how the photography successfully brought about this impression.
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TPCASTT (For Responding to Literature, Especially Poetry)
Title

Titles are often a key to possible meanings of a piece, especially poetry.
Considering the title is to your advantage.
Paraphrase

Readers often ignore the plot of a piece of literature. Frequently, the real
understanding of a poem, in particular, must evolve from comprehension
of “what’s going on in the poem”.
Connotation

Readers should examine any and all poetic devices, focusing on how such
devices contribute to the meaning, the effect, or both of a poem. Consider
imagery, symbolism, diction, point of view, and sound devices. Knowing
the following definitions will be helpful – alliteration, allusion, antithesis,
hyperbole, irony, metaphor, metonymy, onomatopoeia, oxymoron,
paradox, personification, pun, sarcasm…
Attitude (Tone)

Readers are now ready to explore the multiple attitudes. Examination of
diction, images and details suggests the speaker’s attitudes and
contributes to understanding.
Shift (Progression)

As is true of most cases, the poet’s understanding of an experience is a
gradual realization, and the poem is a reflection of that epiphany and,
consequently, the students’ understanding of the poem. The discovery of
the shift can be facilitated if students watch for the following:
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Key words (but, yet, however,
although)
Punctuation (dashes, periods,
colons)
Stanza division
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Irony (sometimes irony hides
shifts)
Changes in diction (slang to
formal language)
Title (again)

Examine the title again, this time on an interpretive level.
Theme

In identifying a theme, students should recognize the human experience,
motivation, or condition suggested by the poem.
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Scoring Categories and Scoring Criteria for Personal Response to Texts Assignment
Ideas and Impressions (10% of total
examination mark)
Cross-Reference to the Program of
Studies for Senior High School English
Language Arts 2.1 2.2 2.3 4.1
When marking Ideas and Impressions, the
marker should consider the quality of
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
Excellent
E
Proficient
Pf
Satisfactory
S
Limited
L
Poor
P
Insufficient
INS
the student’s exploration of the
topic
the student’s ideas and reflection
support in relation to the student’s
ideas and impressions
The student’s exploration of the topic is
insightful. Perceptions and/or ideas are
confident and discerning. Support is
precise and aptly reinforces the student’s
ideas and impressions.
The student’s exploration of the topic is
purposeful. Perceptions and/or ideas are
thoughtful and considered. Support is
specific and strengthens the student’s
ideas and impressions.
The student’s exploration of the topic is
generalized. Perceptions and/or ideas are
straightforward and relevant. Support is
adequate and clarifies the student’s ideas
and impressions.
The student’s exploration of the topic is
vague. Perceptions and/or ideas are
superficial and/or ambiguous. Support is
imprecise and/or ineffectively related to
the student’s ideas and impressions.
The student’s exploration of the topic is
minimal. Perceptions and/or ideas are
underdeveloped and/or irrelevant.
Support is lacking and/or unrelated to the
student’s ideas and impressions.
Insufficient is a special category. It is
not an indicator of quality. Assign
insufficient when
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
the student has written so little
that it is not possible to assess
Ideas and Impressions OR
the marker can discern no evidence of
an attempt to address the task
presented in the assignment
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When marking Presentation, the marker
should consider the effectiveness of

Presentation (10% of total examination
mark)
Cross-Reference to the Program of
Studies for Senior High School English
Language Arts 3.1 3.2 4.1 4.2
Excellent
E
Proficient
Pf
Satisfactory
S
Limited
L
Poor
P
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
voice in relation to the context
created by the student in the
chosen prose form
stylistic choices (including quality
of language and expression) and
the student’s creation of tone
the student’s development of a
unifying effect
Consider the proportion of error in
terms of the complexity and length of
the response.
The voice created by the student is
convincing. Stylistic choices are precise
and the student’s creation of tone is
adept. The unifying effect is skilfully
developed.
The voice created by the student is
distinct. Stylistic choices are specific and
the student’s creation of tone is
competent. The unifying effect is capably
developed.
The voice created by the student is
apparent. Stylistic choices are adequate
and the student’s creation of tone is
conventional. The unifying effect is
appropriately developed.
The voice created by the student is
indistinct. Stylistic choices are imprecise
and the student’s creation of tone is
inconsistent. The unifying effect is
inadequately developed.
The voice created by the student is
obscure. Stylistic choices impede
communication and the student’s creation
of tone is ineffective. A unifying effect is
absent.
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Basic Photography Terms
Background
the part of the picture or scene toward the back, often
not in clear view
Close-up
a close-up is a shot which brings the subject very
close to the camera. Faces are often focused on and
so close-ups are usually used to show facial
expression of the subject.
Foreground
the part of the picture of scene closest to the viewer
Frame/Framing
a frame is what is seen in an entire photograph;
framing is how the picture or what is purposely
structured or organized for what it does (n’t)
show/include
High angle shot
is taken from a higher position shooting down on a
subject, making the subject look small, unimportant,
inferior, un-heroic, lonely, or vulnerable.
Long shot
is taken at some distance from the subject. It
includes the entire bodies of subjects and many
details of the setting.
Low angle shot
is taken from a lower position shooting up at a
subject, making the subject look important, heroic,
stronger, superior, and larger-than-life
Medium shot
probably the most common camera shot, showing
subjects as from a moderate distance from the
camera, with the top halves of bodies showing
p.o.v. (point of view)
usually refers to a camera shot as a character might
see the action; sometimes the p.o.v. just gives the
location of the camera (e.g. – On a cliff, under car
wheels)
Wide angle
what the human eye sees horizontally as recorded by
a camera
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Critical Analysis of a Visual
The Eleven Point Paragraph
Topic Sentence
The focus/purpose of the paragraph is stated. This sentence should be
short and to the point, it should contain strong and definitive vocabulary
and it should not include any pronouns.
Supporting Statement 1
This statement introduces the first idea/argument that supports the
paragraph’s purpose.
Reference 1
Here you cite specific evidence that reinforces the first supporting
argument. This evidence may be direct quotes or general references.
Comment 1
The purpose of the comment is to connect the evidence to the paragraph’s
overall purpose and to the thesis.
Supporting Statement 2
This is your second argument/idea that supports the topic sentence.
Reference 2
Again this reference will directly reinforce supporting statement 2.
Comment 2
Connect this reference to the topic statement.
Supporting Statement 3
This is your third argument/idea that supports the topic sentence.
Reference 3
Again this is a specific piece of evidence from the literature or subject that
reinforces your argument.
Comment 3
Connect this last reference to your topic sentence.
Closing Statement
This closes the paragraph and connects the paragraph to the thesis.
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OBJECTIVES: Unity, coherence and completeness in paragraphs
1) Define unity, coherence, and completeness
2) Identify methods of achieving unity, coherence, and completeness
3) Achieve unity, coherence and completeness in paragraphs and essays
NOTES/CONCEPTS
When students are asked what the characteristics of a paragraph are, they usually
answer, “beginning, middle, and end.” This isn’t a very useful answer, because lots of
things have beginnings, middles, and ends, like snakes, so what makes a paragraph
different?
The characteristics of a well-developed paragraph are:
1) Unity
2) Coherence
3) Completeness
1) Unity
A paragraph must have unity: its sentences must stick to the dominant idea or
topic of the paragraph. A weakness in many student papers is lack of unity, which means
that somewhere in its development the paragraph strays away from the topic sentence;
that is, the writer sometimes gets sidetracked. Here is an example:
(1)A fairy tale is a serious story with a human hero and a happy
ending. (2)The hero in a fairy tale is different from the hero in a tragedy in that
his progression is from bad to good fortune, rather than the reverse. (3) In the
Greek tragedy “Oedipus Rex,” for example, the hero goes from highest fortune to
lowest misery, but in the end he recognizes his error in judgment and maintains a
noble posture despite profound suffering. (4) The audience watching him is
purged of pity and fear through what Aristotle labeled a “catharsis.” (5) The
hero in a fairy tale usually has a miserable beginning. (6) He is either socially
obscure or despised as being stupid and lacking in heroic virtues. (7)But in the
end, he has surprised everyone by demonstrating his courage, consequently
winning fame, riches, and love. (8) We clearly see this bad-to-good-fortune
progress in stories like “Cinderella,” “Sleeping Beauty,” and “The Frog Prince.”
The topic sentence of this paragraph promises to give a definition of the fairy tale.
Unfortunately, part of the paragraph drifts away from the definition. The writer is tricked
into trouble by sentence 2, which is still acceptable because it helps define the fairy tale
by saying what it is not -- it is not a tragedy. But this allusion to tragedy then lures the
writer into two additional sentences that describe a Greek tragedy and explain Aristotle’s
idea of catharsis. These two sentences add nothing to the definition of a fairy tale; they
should therefore be left out.
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2) Coherence
Having unity in a paragraph is not enough. Even when all sentences in the
paragraph relate strictly to the topic sentence, the way in which they are related to each
other may be muddled. In other words, the sentences of a paragraph must cohere; they
must be held together by more than sequence on the page. Four main devices can be used
to insure coherence:
a) transitional words and phrases
b) pronoun reference
c) repeated key terms
d) parallelism
A)
Coherence in a paragraph is achieved by the use of transitional words and
phrases - words and phrases that point out the direction toward which the paragraph is
moving. Example:
In addition to the academic traditionalism in schools, there are
other problems. First, there is the problem of co-ordinating education with the
realities of the work world. Second, there is the question of how long the
schooling period should be. Despite evidence to the contrary, a case can be made
for the notion that we not only overeducate our children, but also take too long to
do it.
The italicized words and phrases are there to add coherence to the passage. They
help to lead the argument continuously from one sentence to the next. Other common
transitional words and phrases are:
after
as a consequence
for example
in contrast
moreover
also
but
however
in fact
nevertheless
and
finally
in addition
in spite of
next
B)
Coherence is also achieved by the use of pronoun reference. A noun is used in
one sentence or clause, and a pronoun to refer to it is used in the next sentence or clause.
Example:
Women are a majority of the population, but they are treated like a
minority group. The prejudice against them is so deep-rooted that, paradoxically,
most persons continue to pretend that it does not exist. Indeed, most women
prefer to ignore the situation than to rock the boat. They accept being paid less
for doing the same work as a man. They are as quick as any male to condemn a
woman who ventures outside the limits of the role men have assigned to females:
that of toil and drudge.
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A noun is used in one sentence, and a pronoun is used in its place in the following
sentences. The reader’s attention is therefore directed from the sentence he is reading to
the one before, thereby establishing a link between them.
C)
Key terms may be repeated throughout the paragraph to help link its sentences
together. Example:
Canadians can be classified according to their responses to winter. First,
there are those who reject such uncivilized weather and avoid winter by flying
off to Hawaii or Mexico. Next, there are some tolerant people who simply endure
winter, purchasing clothing sufficiently warm enough to get them throughout their
brief moments in the outdoors. Finally, there are the people who actually love
winter. Skiing, skating, and snowmobiling, they have embraced winter totally.
Here, the repeated use of the word winter provides a link between the sentences.
D)
A final way of achieving coherence is through the use of parallelism. A similar
grammatical pattern is used in various sentences throughout the paragraph to help link
them together. Example:
American involvement in Vietnam had its supporters and detractors. To
some it was a shoddy affair, ill-conceived from the beginning, mismanaged along
the way; to others, it was an example of America’s commitment to its word. To
some it was a sinful waste of resources; to others, it was money well spent to turn back
communism. Despite the fact that the war has been over for several years, the
divisiveness it caused continues.
3) Completeness
A good paragraph promises content, then proceeds to supply it with ideas, facts,
or illustrations. Conversely, a bad paragraph is often one that promises content but fails
to deliver. Since every paragraph essentially consists of a topic sentence that needs to be
proved, failure to deliver content has two primary causes: either the topic sentence is not
developed at all, or it is merely extended through repetition. In either case, the reader is
saddled with useless generalizations. Example:
We are living richly right now by squandering our planet’s wealth.
We are running through resources at an unprecedented rate, acting like
irresponsible children who lack any awareness of future obligations. How long
can this spendthrift carelessness continue? Something must be done if we are to
avoid disaster.
This is a stagnant paragraph. The student has expanded his topic sentence by adding
words, but he has not added any real content. Every sentence repeats the original topic
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sentence, yet does not drive the argument forward with convincing support. Now read
this paragraph:
We may not appreciate the fact, but a fact nevertheless it remains; we are
living in a Golden Age, the most gilded Golden Age of human history - not only of past
history, but of future history. For, as Sir Charles Darwin and many others before him
have pointed out, we are living like drunken sailors, like the
irresponsible heirs of
a millionaire uncle. At an ever-accelerating rate we are now
squandering the
capital of metallic ores and fossils fuels accumulated in the earth’s crust. How long can
this spending spree go on? Estimates vary. But all are agreed that within a few centuries
or at most a few millennia, Man will have run through his capital and will be
compelled to live, for the remaining nine
thousand nine hundred and seventy or eighty
centuries of his career as Homo sapiens, strictly on income. Sir Charles is of the opinion
that Man will successfully make the transition from rich ores to poor ones and even sea
water, from coal, oil, uranium and thorium to solar energy and alcohol derived from
plants. About as much energy as is now available can be derived from new
sources - but with a far greater expense in man hours, a much larger capital investment in
machinery. And the same holds true of the raw materials on which industrial civilization
depends. By doing a great deal more work than they are doing now, men will contrive to
extract the diluted dregs of the planet’s metallic wealth or will fabricate non-metallic
substitutes for the elements they have completely used up. In such an event, some human
beings will still live fairly
well, but not in the style to which we, the squanderers of
planetary capital, are accustomed.
-Aldous Huxley
Tomorrow and Tomorrow
and Tomorrow.
We may not all agree with the ideas presented above, but at least we feel that the
writer has fulfilled his promise to explain how we are squandering the earth’s wealth. He
has provided clear examples for his opinion, and he has moved from the general to the
specific, always keeping in mind the direction of his topic sentence. His paragraph is
complete.
Note: It is much easier to write a complete paragraph if you start with an effective
topic sentence.
Note: Unity, coherence and completeness also apply to essays.
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The Literary Analysis Essay
The literary analysis essay is an evaluation of a piece of literature. This evaluation is
based on past reading experience and knowledge of literary techniques.
A literary analysis is an examination of the work as a whole, then in specific parts. To
analyze is to look critically at the work, not looking specifically for faults, but looking for
meaning. The organization of a literary analysis follows one of three patterns:
 Chronological Order: discussing characters or events as they change over time
 Order of Importance: presenting the most important or noteworthy point either
first or last
 Comparison: Contrast order: grouping similarities or differences within a work or
between works
Guidelines for a Successful Literary Analysis Essay
I. Interact with the literature
-
think carefully about what you have read
engage in critical response as you discuss the literature in relation to the given
topic
suspend judgment and read the work on its own terms , look for pattern and
purpose
II. Analyze the literature
-
examine ideas themes and symbols, examine characters and their motivation,
choices, causes and effects
go beyond the literal level to discuss the figurative level
III. Avoid giving a plot summary
Assume the person reading your essay has already read the selection. What he or she
is interested in are:
-
Do you understand what you have read? Can you distinguish between the literal
and figurative levels of meaning?
-
Can you perceive what is important about the work even if it is not directly
stated? That is, can you read between the lines or below the surface?
-
Can you respond to the selection in a mature, reasonable, thoughtful and sensitive
way? Can you appreciate the techniques and style of the work?
IV. Be specific
-
Specific examples are needed to show that you know how to back up an
interpretation or opinion and you have read the text, and know it well. Avoid
being too general.
V. Be accurate
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-
Be very clear with what you want to say. Your writing should be straightforward.
Avoid flowery attempts to impress the reader with pedantic language.
-
Your facts have to be accurate. Every time you mention a character or event, this
information cannot be false - otherwise you have committed a basic error.
Referring to a character by a wrong name or misspelling a character's name are
inexcusable factual errors.
Common Literary Perspectives and Themes:
Since literature is predictably about life and human nature, certain perspectives recur.
These include the following views:
Purpose is the most important aspect of any literary work.
- Ask yourself why the author wrote the work. What did he or she want to say
about a given subject, life in general, or human nature? An author may have a
very serious purpose, perhaps related to theme: in Lord of the Flies one theme is
that humankind has survived despite its tendency toward violence, war, and
destruction. Relevant to this, one of William Golding's purposes is to show us the
darkness of the human heart.
Most protagonists have to make significant life-altering choices.
- Such choices are based on the character's beliefs and values as well as the
situation and limiting circumstances. Some choices will turn out to be positive or
life-enhancing, culminating in personal growth, positive change, and increased
happiness or perspective. Other choices, especially in tragedy, will be negative
and destructive because of character flaws - the result is death, disaster, or
hardship for the protagonist and other characters.
There will always be a number of conflicts.
- Conflicts will be between characters with differing attitudes, or within the mind of
a single character. These conflicts will typically be emotional, mental and
spiritual in nature.
Most selections will present a dual view of human experience.
- Popular pairs of topics include: good and evil, reality and illusion, conformity and
rebellion, the - individual and society, tradition and change, love and betrayal,
materialism and spirituality. In works like Macbeth, Mosquito Coast, Lord of the
Flies, and Hamlet, authors reveal the dual nature of human beings: characters can
have contradictory sides that lead to opposing values and beliefs.
Most selections contain irony.
- Because human beings behave in contradictory ways, and there is more than one
view of just about any situation, many selections are ironic. The truth of a
situation may be different from its appearance, and situations may turn out
differently from what was expected. For both reader and protagonist, there is
often a learning aspect to ironic misjudgments, errors and any resulting suffering.
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The Essay
A) The Introduction
The introduction is perhaps the most critical portion of the essay. It gives the reader
his/her first impression of the student and sets the tone for the remainder of the
composition. Thus, the introduction should be clear, concise, and tightly controlled In
general, a good introduction functions to:
a) define and limit the topic
i.e.: the consuming nature of ambition in Macbeth
b) develop the method to be employed by the student
i.e.: illustrating the process by which Macbeth's ambition leads to his own
downfall
c) establish the tone of the essay
i.e.: humorous, serious, sarcastic
d) arouse interest
Before you begin creating an introduction, you must develop a controlling idea or thesis
statement. The thesis introduces the central purpose of the essay and gives it direction. It
is a universal statement about a topic as related to a piece of literature studied. It should
be expressed as a single, clear statement. The basic parts of a thesis statement for a
thematic essay include:
a) the title of the work studied (optional if mentioned earlier in the introduction)
b) the name of the author / playwright
c) the genre
d) the technique(s) employed by the writer to strengthen his/her argument
e) the main thematic argument / focus of theme
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WRITING
Students should keep in mind that the thesis statement is the primary building block for
the entire essay. Time should be taken BEFORE any writing is done to construct a thesis
and establish a focus for the essay. This may need to be revised once the essay is
complete.
Hints for building a thesis
-
Try to limit the length of the thesis statement. Keep it short and simple, and avoid
a run-on sentence.
-
Make the main argument as direct and specific as possible.
i.e.: NOT - Friendship is nice.
YES - Friendship can be a pleasant and fulfilling aspect of life.
-
Do NOT state the thesis as a question.
i.e.: Is Macbeth a villain?
-
Do NOT use the first person verb tense, or express the thesis as a personal
opinion.
i.e.: "I think", "I believe", or "In my opinion"
-
Do NOT use too complex or wordy language. Simplicity is often the best
alternative.
EXAMPLES:
Given Theme: SUPPRESSION
Given the general theme of suppression, the student must create a specific assertion or
focus.
i.e.: Suppressive experiences may spur a search for personal identity. Using this
argument, a thesis statement may be:
In the play A Doll's House, Heinrich Ibsen employs character development to suggest
that suppressive experiences may spur a search for personal identity.
Note: the basic parts
a) title - Doll's House
b) author's name - Heinrich Ibsen
c) genre - play
d) technique - character development
e) theme and focus - suppressive experiences may spur a search for identity
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Given Theme: CIVILIZATION
Given the general theme of civilization, the student must create a specific assertion.
i.e.: Human civilization is essentially savage.
Using this argument, a thesis statement may be:
In the novel Lord of the Flies, William Golding utilizes symbolic imagery to
suggest that human civilization is essentially savage.
Note the basic parts:
a)
b)
c)
d)
e)
title - Lord of the Flies
author's name - William Golding
genre - novel
technique - symbolic imagery
theme and focus - human civilization is essentially savage
Sample Thesis Statements
1. In Shakespeare's play Hamlet, the playwright uses the title character to prove that one
must discover his own moral beliefs before he sets out to accomplish his goals.
2. In the play Death of a Salesman, Arthur Miller develops the character Willy Loman
to demonstrate how personal freedom is limited by a lack of success.
3. Steinbeck develops the characters of George and Lennie in the novel Of Mice and
Men to examine the idea that while some people cannot handle the demands life
offers, others courageously confront challenge.
4. Through the contrasting characters of Willy and Biff, Arthur Miller in the modern
drama Death of a Salesman, examines the idea that for some people, the desire to
escape the harshness of life is stronger than the need to confront reality.
5. The idea that one must cling to hope in the face of adversity is apparent through the
development of the protagonists in the film “Life is Beautiful" by Roberto Benigni
and the biography Night by Elie Weisel.
6. Arthur Miller's play Death of a Salesman and Gus Van Sant's film “Finding
Forrester" utilize character development to portray the idea that an individual's
perspective of reality becomes a guiding force through his life.
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WRITING
Once the student has established a thesis, he/she may proceed to the introduction itself.
As stated earlier, a funnel introduction is one which progresses from the broad to the
specific. Students should begin with general statements pertaining to the theme and
continue by relating the theme to a particular work studied. Finally, the student must
present a specific argument (thesis statement) which narrows the discussion to a single
assertion. The following is an example of a funnel introduction:
Example:
In our society, people tend to place a great emphasis on first impressions. This
leads to the stereotyping of countless individuals on the basis of their outer
appearance. In order to uncover the true nature of an individual, people must
force themselves to look past this rather "weak" perception of others. In the short
story "Gaston," William Sarayan makes powerful use of character development to
suggest that appearances are frequently unreliable in that they do not reveal one's
inner self.
This introduction was written for an essay on the theme of unreliable appearances. Note
the manner in which the student progresses from general statements on the manifestations
of this theme within society to a clear, specific thesis statement. Utilizing the funnel
format, the student has effectively introduced and defined the topic, created a focus, and
indicated a clear direction.
To reinforce the concept of the funnel introduction, another example is presented below.
Note once again the orderly progression from general to specific.
The perpetual search for a better existence serves as a positive guideline in the
lives of individuals. In D. H. Lawrence's short story “The Rocking Horse
Winner," however, the overwhelming need to grasp the intangible proves to be a
source of great physical and emotional despair. Consequently, Lawrence is able
to utilize the divergence of character to suggest that one's futile journey towards a
conceived happiness often leads to self-destruction.
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WRITING
It is worth noting that readers appreciate creativity and originality in both the introduction
and the remainder of the essay. One of the functions of the introduction is to arouse
interest, and the student has many creative alternatives for the initial general statement.
Choices include:
a) Make a general observation on the theme in society.
i.e.: In our society, people tend to place a great emphasis on first Impressions.
b) Begin by easing into a quotation (always identify the speaker)
i.e.: Fulton J. Sheen once said, "Pride is an admission of weakness."
c) Start with a general misconception
i.e.: For centuries, society has mistakenly classified ambition as virtue.
d) Begin with relevant concepts from other areas of study
i.e.: Dalton's "billiard ball atoms," Columbus' round earth and Copernicus'
heliocentric solar system were all ideas used to find explanations for
unexplainable natural phenomena.
e) Start with an analogy - a comparison of two things where the familiar is
compared to the unfamiliar
i.e.: Finding a boyfriend is much like fishing. You need all of the proper
equipment and the proper bait.
f) Begin by stating a fact and linking it to your idea
i.e.: When Hitler turned anti-Semitism into an official government policy in
1934, within a decade nearly six million Jews as well as gypsies intellectuals,
homosexuals, Marxists and other -enemies of the state" were murdered.
g) start with an anecdote - a short, amusing narrative
i.e.: When Samuel Taylor Coleridge borrowed books from Charles Lamb,
Coleridge returned the books to Lamb enriched with brilliant notes in the
margins. Now the library would heavily fine people who return books after
having underlined the text mercilessly and written in their own study notes neither brilliant nor enriching.
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WRITING
The following example presents a creative alternative:
Dalton's "billiard ball atoms", Columbus' round earth and Copernicus'
heliocentric solar system were all ideas used to find explanations for
unexplainable natural phenomena. These three scientists had to expand their
realm of thinking and boldly suggest theories that were not even considered
possibilities. The same process is cleverly exhibited in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's
short story, "The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World," In this story, Marquez
traces the awakening of the village people to suggest that the unexplained acts as
a catalyst in the expansion of thought and imagination.
The following example integrates a quotation into the opening sentence:
Samuel Beckett once said, “there's men all over… blaming on his boots the faults
of his feet." Individuals are often caught blaming others for their mistakes.
Similarly, in the play Death of a Salesman, playwright Arthur Miller utilizes
character development to reveal the idea that when one has contorted views and
perspectives, he must examine the truth about himself in order to achieve true
happiness.
B) Body Paragraphs
The number of paragraphs depends on how the essay is organized. Generally an essay
develops a minimum of 3 - 4 points per body paragraph.
Body Paragraphs Include:
a) A topic sentence that should focus the main idea of the paragraph as it relates to
thesis. Often character / technique is mentioned here.
b) 3 - 4 points linked to main idea in topic sentence
- Plot incidents to support each point (Do not re-tell plot.)
- Quotations to support each point or most points
- Tie back for each point (Relate this point to the theme of the essay as
stated in the topic sentence/thesis.)
c) a clincher sentence with a closing statement for the paragraph
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C) Conclusion
- Restate thesis first but do not repeat yourself. For example, you might include author
but not title. Always mention theme and focus when you re-state thesis.
- Close off with general sentences related to theme. Here you tie ideas by referring to
your essay title, to the quotation or example in your introduction, or you might just
comment on the theme.
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The following is a sample of a literary essay with ONE developed body paragraph.
“Two Lives, One Choice”
Every human being, at one point in time, must make decisions. The choices people make reflect their character and often
determine the direction of their lives. One either accepts the circumstances of his life or takes action to change it, thus
making important decisions. In the novel, Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck utilizes characterization to suggest that
often times; a decision can completely change a life.
George Milton is a bright man who is compelled to make many decisions for himself and the welfare of his mentally
challenged friend Lennie. When Lennie's aunt dies, George makes the decision to look after him. But when he "thinks of
the swell time [he] coulda' had" without the other man, he reconsiders. Yet with his choice to take care of Lennie,
George discovers that he has a friend and companion for life. This decision impacts George in a positive way, and it
proves that he is a kind man who is wise, patient and compromising. Another decision George makes is to instill in
Lennie's mind, the idea of a happy place of their own. Whenever the world treats the friends unjustly and they need a
safe place to escape, George always chooses to tell Lennie of the home they are going to buy where they can "live off the
fatta' the land," make their own decisions and live their lives how they choose. Even though George is not always sure if
they will ever reach that place, his decision to use it as an escape for himself and Lennie shows that he cares greatly for
his friend and wants him to be safe. This decision impacts both men's lives and spirits by giving them a dream and goal,
further demonstrating George's ingenuity, creativity and optimism. Throughout their lifetime together, George makes
many decisions to help get Lennie out of trouble. The last decision George makes on behalf of Lennie is not an easy one.
When Lennie accidentally kills a woman, George must decide the fate of his friend. Though it is difficult, George
decides that he must mercifully kill Lennie to save him from danger He feels that he "hadda' do it." This decision not
only terminates a life, but it ends a friendship and weakens the conscience of a strong man. The impact of this decision is
enormous for George, and it proves that he is discerning, level headed and compassionate. In his life, George has to
make many choices concerning his friend and himself, and these choices greatly affect the lives of both men.
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Approaching the Question
1. Read all parts of the question over carefully.
 Circle key words and paraphrase
 Use a dictionary
2. Begin brainstorming to select the literature you will use in your essay.
 List all pieces studied
 Ask yourself “which piece studied relates to the topic?”
 Jot brief points that relate well to the topic
3. Brainstorm the literature you have chosen (in a chart).
Setting up the chart: Possibilities for headings? (Possible methods of organization.) Depending on
the focus or topic of the essay the following are possible methods to consider. This approach will be
very useful when writing the English 30 Diploma exam. The questions on the English 30 Exam are
such that this approach will be valid!
One piece of literature
 Choose three different characters from the one piece of literature
 Choose one character from the literature and examine that one character in the beginning,
middle and end of the piece (BME organization)
 Create a three fold thesis, with each part of the thesis becoming a heading in the chart (and a
separate body paragraph in the essay) must be cohesive
Two pieces of literature
 Choose three different characters (two from one piece; one from another)
 Choose one character from one piece, one character from another, compare/contrast the
characters in the third paragraph
Sample Chart
Question: What ideas does the author develop regarding the response of individuals to
challenge?
The Guest by Albert Camus
Daru
Balducci
The Arab
What is the
challenge?
How does the
character respond?
What is the
consequence or
result of the
reaction?
4. Arrive at conclusions from the chart.
5. Write a thesis statement
a. The controlling idea behind the entire essay
b. Must contain key word from the question, be clear and concise
c. Must be a general comment about human nature
Sample Chart
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Question:
The Literature:
Possible thesis statement:
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________
6. Preliminary Outline
On your chart determine the order of your discussion (body paragraphs) by numbering the
headings.
7. Writing the Introduction
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a. This outlines the paper to come.
b. It must contain at least three sentences, one of these is the thesis statement.
c. It follows the format below:
i. General statement about the literature
ii. More specific statements that mention the title of the literature, the genre, the
author, the characters to be discussed.
iii. Most specific statement, the thesis statement. (Be sure to include the key
word from the question.)
8. Writing Solid Paragraphs
See notes on the eleven point paragraph.
9. Writing the Conclusion.
a. The conclusion summarized the main points of the essay. Do not introduce new ideas
in the conclusion!
b. The conclusion leaves the reader feeling content and satisfied.
c. It must contain at least three sentences: one of these must restate the Thesis statement
(preferably the first sentence of the conclusion.) When restating the thesis, do not
simply copy your thesis from the introduction. The thesis must be reworded in the
conclusion.
d. Avoid cliché, especially in the final sentence of your conclusion.
e. The structure:
i. Most specific statement, thesis restated
ii. More specific statement that restates the title(s) of the literature, the genre, the
author, and the characters discussed.
iii. General statement about the topic.
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Essay Template
Introduction
 General Statement about the topic

More specific statement mentioning title, author, genre, and characters

Most specific statement: thesis statement
Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence
Supporting Statement 1
Reference 1
Comment 1
Supporting Statement 2
Reference 2
Comment 2
Supporting Statement 3
Reference 3
Comment 3
Closing Statement
Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence
Supporting Statement 1
Reference 1
Comment 1
Supporting Statement 2
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Reference 2
Comment 2
Supporting Statement 3
Reference 3
Comment 3
Closing Statement
Body Paragraph 3
Topic Sentence
Supporting Statement 1
Reference 1
Comment 1
Supporting Statement 2
Reference 2
Comment 2
Supporting Statement 3
Reference 3
Comment 3
Closing Statement
Conclusion
Most specific statement – thesis restated
More specific statement that restates title, author, genre, characters
General Statement about the topic
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English Language Arts 30–1 Diploma Examination Part A: Written Response Blueprint
CrossReference
to Program
of Studies
Proportion of
Total
Examination Mark
Description of
Writing Assignment
Reporting Category
(Scoring Criteria)
Reporting
Category Section
The Personal Response to
Texts Assignment requires the
student to respond personally,
critically, and/or creatively to
the content and contexts of a
variety of texts while exploring
ideas and impressions that the
student may also consider in the
Critical / Analytical Response to
Literary Texts Assignment.
Ideas and Impressions
The student is required to reflect on
and explore ideas and impressions
prompted by the texts and the
topic.
2.1
2.2
2.3
4.1
10%
Presentation
The student is required to select an
appropriate and effective prose
form to convey impressions, to
explore ideas, and to create a
unifying effect and effective voice.
The student is required to
communicate clearly.
3.1
3.2
4.1
4.2
10%
The Critical / Analytical
Response to Literary Texts
Assignment sets a specific
writing topic but allows the
student to choose relevant
literary text(s) and a method of
development, and to select
supporting details from the
chosen literary text(s). The
Critical / Analytical Response to
Literary Texts Assignment
requires the student to
understand literal and implied
meanings in the chosen text(s)
and to synthesize thoughts
clearly and express ideas
effectively and correctly in
writing.
Thought and Understanding
The student is required to address
the topic by demonstrating an
understanding of the ideas
developed by the text creator(s) and
by analyzing and explaining the
personality traits, roles,
relationships, motivations,
attitudes, and values of characters
developed and presented in literary
text(s).
2.1
2.2
4.1
4.2
7.5%
Supporting Evidence
The student is required to present
relevant support and evidence from
a literary text (or texts) to support
ideas. Significant appropriate
evidence skillfully used is required
to create an effective and
convincing response.
2.3
3.2
4.1
4.2
7.5%
Form and Structure
The student is required to develop a
coherent, unified composition by
choosing an appropriate method to
create a unified effect. A controlling
idea may be implicit or explicit
within the composition.
2.2
3.1
4.1
4.2
5%
Matters of Choice
The student is required to
demonstrate a repertoire of stylistic
choices and vocabulary in a
deliberate, precise, and controlled
manner.
4.2
5%
20%
30%
Matters of Correctness
The student is required to write
clearly and correctly, appropriately
applying the conventions for written
language.
Proportion of Total Examination Mark
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4.2
5%
50%
50%
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STYLE – Improving Your Sentences
Here are a few ways to improve the structure sentences (and consequently your assignment and essay marks).
Use Parallel Construction. All sentence elements are alike in importance and form:
Poor:
Improved:
Jack likes swimming, biking, and to run.
Jack likes swimming, biking and running.
Poor:
Improved:
It was both a long ceremony and very tedious.
The ceremony was both long and tedious.
Avoid Wordiness. Be careful when you use descriptive words. Be comfortable using them – as you would in usual
speech. Don’t use the thesaurus thinking that all synonymous words are exact in meaning.
Use Specific, Concrete Language. Avoid general, vague and abstract language.
Poor:
Improved:
A period of unfavorable whether set in.
It rained everyday for a week.
Omit Needless Words. Strong writing is concise and to the point.
Poor:
Improved:
The reason why he lost is because he was injured.
He lost because he was injured.
Poor:
Improved:
She cleaned up in a hasty manner.
She cleaned up hastily.
Put Statements in Positive Form. Make definite assertions and avoid hesitant, non-committal language.
Poor:
Improved:
She was not very often on time.
She was always late.
Poor:
Improved:
He did not think that studying Latin good use of one’s time.
He thought the study of Latin was a waste of time.
Use the Active Voice. The active voice is more direct and assertive than the passive voice. (Passive voice has something
happening to the subject rather than in the active voice where the subject acts.)
Passive:
My early years will always be cherished by me.
Passive:
My early years will always be remembered. (Indefinite subject)
Active: I will always cherish my early years.
Passive: The trees could be seen from the hills.
Active:
We could see the trees from the hills.
Avoid Fragments and Run-ons
Partial or fragmented sentences are distracting and structurally wrong. A sentence fragment does not express a complete
thought as it lacks either a subject or a verb.
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A run-on sentence combines two or more sentences by using a comma – or no punctuation – instead of a period,
semicolon or conjunction.
Use Pronouns Correctly
Incorrect use of pronouns confuses the read. The most common pronoun errors:
 Ambiguous Reference
 Implied Reference
 Buried Reference
 Double Reference
Use Quotations Correctly
A quotation indicates that you are recording what someone has stated or you are taking material directly from a
particular source.


A direct quotation is set off from the rest of the sentence by commas, question mark or exclamation point.
Commas and periods are always placed within the quotation marks.
“I’m happy,” said Mary, “that you are here.”
The books you are reading are called “escapist fiction” that have little literary value, but are great to
read for fun.
1.
In summaries, keep to one tense.
In summarizing or analyzing a piece of literature you should always use the present tense.
Overhearing Claudius’s confession, Hamlet decides to wait for revenge. If he kills Claudius at this point, the king,
unburdened by sin, would go to heaven. Hamlet decides to wait until Claudius commits “some vile act” that would send
him to hell or purgatory.
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WRITING
IMPROVE YOUR STYLE BY VARYING SENTENCE PATTERNS
1. Begin with the subject.
The sea is a whole world unto itself
2. Begin with a prepositional phrase.
In the past, the treasures of the sea were thought to be limitless.
3. Begin with an adverb.
Slowly, the sea reveals its secrets to us.
4. Begin with a gerund.
Swimming in the Mediterranean is like bathing in a large turquoise tub.
5. Begin with an infinitive phrase.
To protect our future on this earth we must protect ocean life as well
6. Begin with a present participle phrase.
Skimming the choppy surface, pelicans search hungrily for their evening meal
7. Begin with a past participle phrase.
Satisfied with the day's catch, the sun-parched fisherman turned his boat toward shore.
8. Begin with an adverbial clause.
Whenever man sails away from his homeland he is inevitably caught by the romance of the sea.
9. Use an appositive.
The Pacific, the largest body of water on the planet, touches the shores of SIX continents.
10. Ask a question.
Who wouldn't want to sail off to a tropical island?
11. Use an exclamation.
Beware the fury of an Atlantic storm!
12. Use conversation.
The captain warned, "All those with queasy stomachs should stay by the rail"
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WRITING
IMPROVING SENTENCE STYLE
Select one of your papers and follow these instructions.
1.
What styles of sentences can you find? List number of loose, balanced, parallel, and periodic sentences. If you
have no sentences of one of these types in your paper, re-cast some sentences in that style.
2.
How long are your sentences? Count words in the paper, count sentences, and divide to arrive at average length.
3.
Find your longest sentence. What is the length of the sentence before it? If that long sentence is not either
preceded or followed by a short sentence, change one of them to a short sentence.
4.
What forms are your sentences? Count simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex.
5.
Count number of “to be” verbs. Find three that can better be expressed as action verbs and re-cast the sentences
that way.
6.
Count parallel constructions. If fewer than three in paper re-cast three sentences so they contain parallel
elements.
7.
How do your sentences begin? List subject, adverb, prepositional phrase, gerund, subordinate clause, verb,
infinitive, conjunction, absolute. If more than half your sentences begin with the subject, re-cast ten sentences
in a way that varies beginning.
8.
Check your comma use by applying these four rules:
 Use a comma before and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet, and still when those words join independent clauses.
 Use a comma between all terms in a series.
 Use a comma to set off parenthetical openers and afterthoughts.
 Use two commas to enclose parenthetical insertions.
9.
Have you used any semicolons? If not, find a sentence or a pair of sentences that would be better punctuated
with a semicolon and re-cast.
10. Have you used any dashes? If not, find a sentence that would improve with a dash and re-cast.
11. Have you inverted any sentence? If not, re-cast one.
12. Find all which clauses and re-cast half of them to eliminate which.
13. Underline of, in, to, by, and who wherever they occur. Re-cast to eliminate as many as possible.
14. Find any nouns used as adjectives and eliminate any not conventionally used this way.
15. Find all instances of there is or there are and eliminate as many as possible.
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WRITING
INTEGRATING QUOTATIONS
1. Short quotations (one sentence or less) should be integrated into sentences with minimum disruption
to the flow of the essay. The quotation should be smoothly integrated with the text and should be
commented on:
Romeo reveals his desire and impatience when he says.
“0, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?" This rash comment is typical of the haste that will
later lead to his sudden, impetuous choice of suicide.
2. Avoid having two quotations in a row. If you must have two, use your own commentary to bridge the
two.
Ineffective: Richard Cory had everything going for him. "He was a gentleman from sole to
crown." "He was rich - yes richer than a king."
Effective: Richard Cory had everything going for him. Not only was he a "gentleman from
sole to crown, but he was also "richer than a king."
3. Longer quotations should be indented and single-spaced. Page numbers (for fiction or essays) or line
numbers (for poetry or verse drama) should be given. For example, in an essay on Robert Frost's
"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, you might quote a stanza to focus a discussion on some
aspect of the poem:
The last stanza suggests the seductiveness of the woods - of "dropping out" of human society:
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. (13-16)
However, the poet is aware of promises he has made - responsibilities and social obligations which necessitate his leaving the woods.
4. Separate lines of poetry running within your sentences with a slash (/), and preserve the capitalization
of words at the beginning of the line.
The speaker notes that the bruised heart of the mourner wonders" was it
He that bore,/ And Yesterday, or Centuries before?"
5. If for the clarity of sentence structure, you must alter a quotation, place the alteration in square
brackets.
Goodman Brown claims that "with Heaven above and Faith below [he] will yet stand firm
against the devil."
6. If you omit material in order to be succinct, mark the omission with three periods, called ellipsis.
Monstresor tells us that when it comes to "painting and gemmary,
Fortunato. . . was a quack."
7. Most quotations should be no more than one line long. Do not overuse quotations as it becomes less
your work and more the work of someone else.
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To add ideas
To show time
To show place
Additionally, also, again, along with, and another way, as well, besides,
furthermore,
In addition, likewise, moreover, next, second similarly, third, together with ,
too
About, a little later, after, afterward, as soon as, at first, at the end of, at the
start of, before, during, finally, in those days, immediately, in the meantime,
later in the day, meanwhile, next, next week, now, prior to , then, this year,
today, tomorrow, until, when, while, yesterday
Above, across, against, along, alongside, amid, among, around, away from,
behind, beneath, beside, between, beyond, by, down, farther, away, here, in
front of, inside, in the distant, in the foreground, into, near, off, on the left,
on the right, on top of, outside, over, overhead, there, throughout, under,
underneath,
To show order
Afterward, as a result, consequently, finally, first, for this reason, hence, in
conclusion, in the second place, in short, in summary, last, next, second,
therefore, to begin with, to conclude, to sum up
To contrast ideas
Although, as proposed, but, conversely, counter to, even so, however, in
contrast, nevertheless, no doubt, on the contrary, on the other hand,
otherwise, still, whereas, yet
To compare ideas
Again, also, and, as, in the same way, likewise, similarly
To show results
Accordingly, as a result, consequently, for this reason, generally, hence,
specifically, therefore, thus, to clarify, to emphasize, to repeat, usually
To introduce
illustrations
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Common Writing Problems
The following instructions explain and clarify some of today’s most common writing problems.
Troublesome Words
Its
the possessive form of ‘it’. Something belongs to ‘it.’ It is the opposite of the normal
possession rule which uses apostrophe to show possession.
Ex: Its dog house is in the backyard.
it’s
contraction form of ‘it is’
It’s time to leave.
Where a location
Where is the book?
Were a state of being verb, indicates past tense
We were going to leave, but the car would not start.
We’re contraction form of ‘we are’
We’re ready to leave.
There a location
The book is there.
Their A possessive pronoun, this word shows that something belongs to a group.
Their books are still in the classroom.
They’re contraction form of ‘they are’
They’re going to leave when the bags are packed.
To
a preposition, clarifies a direction
She ran to the store.
Too
an adjective, expresses an overabundance
She ate too much candy.
Two
a number
I bought two horses.
Your a possessive pronoun, showing that something belongs to someone
That is your book.
You’re contraction form of ‘you are’
You’re going to the park.
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Hear the act of listening
I can hear the teacher talking.
Here a location
The book is over here.
Problems to Avoid
But/And
Do not start sentences with ‘and’ or ‘but’. Instead of ‘but’ you can use ‘however.’
Towards
Amongst
The word is toward. There is no ‘s’ on the end.
She ran toward the store.
The word is among. There is no ‘st’ on the end.
Alot
The word alot is in fact two words – a lot.
Alright
The word alright is, in fact, two words, all right.
Affect
to have an influence
The speaker’s message had an affect on me.
Effect
(noun) result: The lights gave a pretty effect.
(verb) to cause to happen: We waited until the sedative had taken effect.
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Four Types of Sentences
Four types of sentences: If students are writing sentences that do not fit into one of these categories, they are
writing incorrect sentences. It is much easier to help students identify and correct incorrect sentences if they
know the structure of the four types of correct sentences.
1.
Simple Sentences: They have a verb (predicate) and a noun (subject) performing the action of the
verb. A simple sentence can also be called an independent clause.
Example: His friends went swimming.
noun
2.
verb
Compound Sentences: They are two simple sentences combined with a comma and a coordinating
conjunction. A few examples of coordinating conjunctions are: “and”, “but”, “or”, “so”, and
“because”.
Example: His friends went swimming, but he decided to go jogging.
simple sentence
3.
simple sentence
Complex Sentences: Complex sentences contain one independent clause and one or more dependent
clauses. An independent clause is the same as a simple sentence. A dependent clause is simply an
independent clause that has a subordinate conjunction attached. A few examples of subordinate
conjunctions are: although, since, when, and if.
Example: Although his friends went swimming, he decided to go jogging.
subordinating conjunction = dependent clause
4.
independent clause
Complex – Compound Sentences: They are sentences that consist of a complex sentence joined
with another simple sentence using a coordinating conjunction such as “and”, “but”, or “because”.
Example: Although his friends went swimming, he decided to go jogging, and no one missed him.
complex sentence
simple sentence
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Three Types of Sentence Errors
Sentence Errors – These are the three main sentence errors. Knowledge of the four types of sentences makes
it easy to avoid these errors, and this knowledge also makes it easy to correct them.

Sentence Fragments: A sentence fragment is an incomplete sentence. They are usually either phrases or
dependent clauses. Both need more words to complete the sentence correctly.
A phrase is a group of words without a noun (subject), or without a verb (predicate), or without either.
Examples: Went swimming.
v
Decided to go jogging.
v
His friends.
n
To correct these phrases, either add a noun (that is the subject), or add a verb (predicate).
A dependent clause is a simple sentence (also called an independent clause) that has a subordinate
conjunction attached making it dependent.
Examples: Although his friends went swimming.
sub. conj. + independent clause
When he decided to go jogging.
sub. conj. + independent clause
To correct these subordinate clauses, add an independent clause.

Comma Splice: A comma splice occurs when two or more sentences – whether they be simple
sentences, compound sentences, complex sentences, or compound-complex sentences – are joined
with only commas. Thus, two simple sentences joined by only a comma would fit into this
category.
Example: His friends went swimming, he decided to go jogging.
simple sentence
cs
simple sentence
Example: Although his friends went swimming, he decided to go jogging, no one missed him.
complex sentence
cs simple sentence
There are three ways to correct this error: separate the sentences with a period; add a coordinating
conjunction (e.g., and, but, because) after the comma; replace the comma with a semicolon if the
main ideas of the two sentences are closely connected or related.

Fused Sentence: A fused sentence occurs when two or more sentences – whether they be simple
sentences, compound sentences, complex sentences, or compound-complex sentences – are joined
without any punctuation at all.
Example: His friends went swimming he decided to go jogging.
simple sentence
fs
simple sentence
There are three ways to correct this error: separate the sentences with a period; add a coordinating conjunction (e.g.,
and, but, because) after the comma: replace the comma with a semicolon if the main ideas of the two sentences are
closely connected or related.
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APPENDIX
Section #1 Sentence Structure
Parts of Speech
Noun
Common nouns refer to a general class of persons, places, or things and are not capitalized
e.g., railroad, car, girl
Proper nouns refer to a particular member of a class and are capitalized.
e.g., the Bible, Ford Mustang, Jim
Verb
a)
Actions Verbs indicate visible or unseen
action.
e.g., Allan played basketball
The verb ‘played’ expresses an action the person is doing.
b) Linking Verbs state that something exists. They express a state of being.
e.g., The rock fell on his feet.
The verb ‘fell’ expresses an occurrence
e.g., Linda was happy.
The verb ‘was’ is a state of being which expresses the existence of a person or an object. Other state of being
verbs include: am, is, are, were, be, been, being, appeared, seem, taste, is, look, was, were, have, has been, stay,
remain, feel, sound, smell, become, am, are, is, were, be, been, being, and appear.
c)
Transitive Verbs are verbs that have direct objects that receive their action.
e.g., Dave met the mayor. The direct object, mayor, completes the meaning of the verb met.
e.g., The officer wore, several medals. The direct object medals, completes the meaning of the verb wore.
d) Intransitive Verbs are those that do not have direct objects receiving their action.
e.g., The winners rejoiced.
e.g., Steve rested under a tree.
In the second sentence, the words following the verb modify it; they do not receive the action on the verb.
Verb Tense: verbs can also tell when an action or state of being occurs.
a)
present tense: I paint or she watches
b) past tense: I will paint or she watched.
c)
future tense: I will paint or she will watch.
d) present perfect tense: I have painted or she has watched.
e)
past perfect tense: I had painted or she had watched.
f)
future perfect tense: I will have painted or she will have watched.
Adverb
Adverbs modify verbs, adverbs, and adjectives.
An adverb tells where, when, how, or how much. Many adverbs end in ‘ly’. E.g., quickly quietly, soon, now,
sometimes, very, too, yesterday, there.
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Adjectives
Adjectives modify nouns and other adjectives. Modifying means describing. Qualifying is telling something about
another about another word. An adjective answers questions like ‘how many’ and ‘what kind’.
e.g., Wild flowers are most beautiful in April.
Pronoun
A noun that stands for another noun. It takes its place. Examples: I, we, you, he, she, it, they, me, us, him, her, it,
them, my, mine, our, ours, your, yours, his, her, its, there, theirs.
a)
personal pronouns refer to a person: I, me, mine, you, he, we, yours, them. They are the largest class of
pronouns.
b) Interrogative pronouns are those that are used to ask questions: who, whom, whose, which, what.
c)
possessive pronouns show possession: its, your, their, and whose.
d) Indefinite pronouns are those that do not refer to a definite person or thing: another, each, everything, one,
either.
e)
the antecedent of a pronoun is the noun that it replaces; often it comes before the pronoun: The tractor is green.
It harvests the wheat. It is the pronoun, while tractor is the antecedent.
Preposition
Is a word that is placed in front of a noun and shows the relationship of this noun to other words in the sentence.
e.g., She went into the river.
e.g., about, above, across, after, against, along, among, around, as, at, before, behind, beneath, beside, between, by
despite, during, for, from, in, into, like, near, of, off, on, onto, over, through, to, together, toward, under, underneath,
until, up, upon, with, within.
Interjection
An interjection is a brief, remark that is frequently followed by an exclamation point.
When it is a part of a sentence, the interjection is often set off by a comma.
e.g., “Shucks! I misses the lottery again.”
e.g., “Well, you can always buy more tickets next week.”
Conjunction
A conjunction is a part of speech that shows relationships between parts of a sentence; it connects words or groups
of words.
e.g., Kent wrote and narrated the skits. My typing is fast but sloppy. We will take the train or the bus. Hot
oatmeal is not only nutritious, but also economical.
a)
Coordinating conjunctions are used to connect single words or groups of words of the same kind. The most
common are and, but, and or.
Cars and trucks often have different speed limits. (compound subject). The skater tripped and fell. (compound
verb). Sue looked at the tire, but couldn’t find the leak. (compound predicate). The candidate appeared realistic
but hopeful. (compound predicate words). In June or July we will take our vacation. (compound objects of a
preposition).
b) Correlative conjunctions join similar words
or groups of words and are always used in
pairs.
e.g., both…and, not only…but also, either…or, whether…or, neither…nor.
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Both oak and walnut are used for furniture.
I am neither tired nor hungry.
The cafeteria serves not only lunch but also
breakfast.
c)
Subordinating conjunctions are words that subordinate, or make dependent, the words they introduce.
Subordinate clauses are also called dependent clauses because they can not stand alone in a sentence.
e.g., after, because, so that, since, until, as if, although, as, along as, as though, before, if, in order that,
provided, than, though, till, unless, until, when, whenever, where, wherever, while.
e.g., When she fell off her bike, Carla broke her leg. The subordinate clause is, when she fell off her bike and
the subordinating conjunction is when.
e.g., Carla broke her leg when she fell off her bike.
Verbs
a)
An infinitive is a verb that begins with the word to.
e.g., to write, to shout, to remind.
b) A gerund is a verb that functions as a noun. They end in ing.
e.g., draw (v) = drawing (n).
c)
A participle is a verb form that functions as an adjective. It modifies either a noun or a pronoun.
e.g., Whistling, he made his way home through the snow.
Sentence Construction
Parts of a sentence
a)
A phrase is a part of a sentence that does not have a subject and a verb.
e.g., before the gold rush.
e.g., to cut the grass. Prepositional phrases consist of a preposition, its object, and any modifiers of the object.
e.g., Zack politely asked for a refund.
Adjective phrases are prepositional phrases that modify nouns.
e.g., The school needs a new coach for the track team.
Adverb phrases are prepositional phrases that modify verbs.
e.g., The bottles are sealed by a huge machine.
b) A clause is a group of words containing a verb and its subject. As a result, a clause can also be a simple
sentence.
e.g., Keith ran in the marathon.
c)
A main (or independent) clause can stand by itself as a sentence. e.g. I enjoy school.
d) A subordinate (or dependent) clause can not
stand alone. An independent clause becomes a dependent or subordinate clause, when a subordinating
conjunction is added. (refer to the list of subordinating conjunctions in the previous section)
e.g., If I enjoy school…..
e.g., Before the gate closes…
These clauses need more to complete the thought.
Subject and predicate
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The basic rule of writing correct sentences is that every sentence must have a verb (predicate), and then all verbs
must have noun (subject) to perform the action of the verb.
Complete sentences must be punctuated in one of three ways:
1) a full stop (period, question mark, exclamation mark)
2) a semi colon
3) a comma followed by a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor)
Sentence Patterns
The most basic type of a sentence has a subject
and a verb. The subject is either a noun(n) or
pronoun(pn).
a)
In a pattern one sentence either the noun (n) or the verb (v) can be compound.
e.g., Fashions (n) change (v).
e.g., The white cat (n) yawned and stretched (v).
b) In a pattern two sentence, the n or pn that follows the v is a direct object. (do)
e.g., The manager (n) opened (v) the store (n/do).
c)
In a pattern three sentences two nouns follow the verb; the first is an indirect object (io) while the second is a
direct object (do).
e.g., Steve (n) slipped (v) me (n/io) a note (n/do).
d) In a pattern four sentence the verb is a linking verb (lv). The noun that follows it is a predicate noun. (or
predicate pronoun).
e.g., The experiment (n) was (lv) a success (n).
e.g., The mysterious caller (n) is (lv) I (n).
e) In a pattern five sentence there is a linking verb that is followed by a predicate adjective (adj.)
e.g., The gears (n) seem (lv) stiff (adj).
e.g., Ice hockey (n) is (lv) rough and fast(adj.)
Faulty Agreement
Faulty agreement occurs when a subject does
not agree with its verb. A singular noun
requires a singular verb. Problems usually
arise when the subject is separated from the
verb by a number of other words.
Faulty agreement: The percentage of correct
responses as well as the speed of the responses
increase with practice.
Correction: The percentage of correct
responses as well as the speed of the responses
increases with practice.
Faulty Reference of Pronouns
Many writers encounter this problem with
pronouns such as ‘everyone’ , ‘someone’,
‘anyone’, etc. These pronouns are singular and
require singular possessive adjectives.
faulty reference: Everyone must bring their
books to class tomorrow.
correction: Everyone must bring his books to
class tomorrow.
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Another major source of difficulty is the use of pronouns that have no specific antecedent in the sentence.
faulty reference: Napoleon could not tolerate the Russian writer, which prevented him from defeating the Russians
correction: Napoleon could not stand the Russian winter, a problem that prevented him from defeating the Russians.
Dangling Modifiers
A dangling modifier has no referent in the
sentence. The writer must add to the sentence the word that the phrase refers to, or put the phrase next to that word
if it is not already in the sentence. Another solution is to always speak in the active voice.
dangling: While crossing the street at the crosswalk, the car barely missed the pedestrian.
correction: While the pedestrian was crossing the street at the crosswalk, the car barely missed him.
dangling: After separating the subjects into groups, Group A was tested.
correction: After separating the subjects into groups, I tested Group A.
dangling: To show this illustration, the audience were divided into two groups.
correction: To show this illustration, we divided the audience into two groups
Misplaced Modifiers
This problem occurs when adjectives or adverbs, or adjective or adverb phrases are not clearly placed next to the
word they modify. The difficulty is eliminated by making sure such modifiers are placed as close as possible to the
word they modify. The word ‘only’ is a particular problem.
misplaced modifiers: He marked the exams that the students had written all night.
correction: All night he marked the exams that the students had written.
misplaced modifiers: Sally only likes to cook with cast iron pots.
correction: Sally likes to cook only with cast iron pots.
misplaced modifiers: The investigator tested the subjects using this procedure.
correction: Using this procedure, the investigator tested the subjects.
Faulty Parallelism
Parallelism is a device which involves the repetition of the same grammatical structure. A writer must repeat the
same grammatical structure of either side of a co-ordinate conjunction (and, but, or, nor), and after each part of a
correlative conjunction (not only…but also, either…or, whether…or).
Faulty Parallelism: She not only practiced the violin but also the
organ.
Correction: She practiced not only the violin but also the organ.
Faulty Parallelism: Joseph earned his money by tutoring, taking out garbage and squash lessons.
Correction: Joseph earned his money by tutoring, taking out garbage and giving squash lessons.
Faulty Parallelism: The results showed that such changes could be made without affecting error rate, and latencies
continued to decrease over time.
Correction: The results showed that such changes could be made without affecting error rate, and that latencies
continued to decrease over time.
Faulty Parallelism: The names were both difficult to pronounce and spell.
Correction: The names were both difficult to pronounce and to spell.
Verb and style
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Use the active voice
poor: The experiment was designed by
Gould (1970)
better: Gould (1970) designed the experiment.
poor: It is the author’s opinion that feudalism
was an abusive system.
better: Feudalism was an abusive system.
poor: One would assert that this abuse was due, in part, to the fact that the landlords treated their laborers much like
slaves.
better: This abuse was due, in part, to the fact that the landlords treated their laborers much like slaves.
Section #2
Punctuation
Comma
A comma makes the reader pause slighty.
1. Use a comma after a long introductory phrase or clause:
After stealing the crown jewels from the Tower of London, I went home for tea.
2. If the sentence is confusing without the comma, put it in.
Confusing: The day before I robbed the Bank of England.
Clear: The day before, I robbed the Bank of England.
3. Use a comma to separate the items in a series:
I robbed the Ottawa mint, the Bank of England, Fort Knox, and my wallet.
4. Use a comma to separate independent clauses that are joined by co-ordinate conjunctions and, but, or and nor:
I shall return the crown jewels, but I’ll keep the gold from Fort Knox.
5. Use a comma to address a person directly:
Matthew, please hand me that book.
6. Use a comma for all appositives (an appositive is a noun or noun phrase that identifies or describes another noun):
Montague Sneed, director of R.C.M.P., was assigned to the case. The criminal, a wily fellow, would be hard to
catch.
7. Use a comma to separate the elements of a geographical address and dates.:
Mr. Sneed has been living in Ottawa, Ontario since January 15, 1998.
8. Use a comma to set off a parenthetical group of words (a clause) that is not essential to the sentence (it is called a
nonrestrictive clause because it is not essential to the sentence):
Girls, who have always interested me, are different from boys.
The writer must put a comma both before and after any parenthetical word or phrase.
9. Do not use a comma before an essential
restrictive clause. It is a clause that identifies,
limits, or defines words that it modifies.
e.g., The switch that stops the recording device also controls the light.
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Semi colon
The semi colon is grammatically equivalent to a period or full stop. It separates two independent statements that
would be complete sentences if they stood alone, but it keeps those statements more tightly linked than a period
would. Use a semi colon between two related independent clauses that are not joined by a co-ordinate conjunction:
I steal crown jewels from wherever a king will leave them; she steals hearts.
Also use the semicolon to separate elements
that already contain commas:
e.g., The color was red, white, blue; blue, white, red; or white, red, blue.
Colon
The colon introduces a list, along quotation, a definition or an explanation:
He had several shortcomings: laziness, slovenliness, lack of talent and a short temper.
He had a simple definition for poetry: words arranged according to their sound.
If the final clause is a complete sentence, it begins with a capital letter:
e.g., They have agreed on the outcome; Informed subjects perform better than do uniformed subjects.
Apostrophe
Use an apostrophe to indicate possession. If the noun is singular, add an ‘s’; I loved Mom’s pie. Follow this rule,
even if the noun ends with an ‘s’.: The water goes right up to the glass’s rim. Or. That is Gus’s book. However, it is
generally preferable to drop the final ‘s’ with names that have acquired a `certain prominence over the years:
Dickens’ books, Jesus’ life.If the noun is plural, add the apostrophe after the ‘s’. Those are girls’ coats. We love to
swim in the Rupps’ pool.
Use an apostrophe to indicate contractions; that is, show the
omission of letters when two words are joined: we’re (we are), they’re (they are), isn’t (is not)
Quotation Marks
Quotation marks are used to punctuate direct speech or material quoted from another source.
1.
Use commas with a verb of speaking both before and after a quotation.
2.
Whenever you change speakers, you must begin a new paragraph.
3.
Sentences within quotation marks must be correctly punctuated.
Then director Sneed remarked, “I know who the murderer is and I think I can catch him. In fact, I am certain that
the one who did it is sitting right in this room.”
“You can’t prove a thing,” the villain
remarked, “ unless you have hard evidence. You won’t find it.”
Dash
Punctuation within a sentence marks a pause in the thought; different kinds of punctuation indicate different kinds
and lengths of pauses. Use the dash to indicate only a sudden interruption in the continuity of a sentence. Overuse
weakens the flow of material.
The two new students – one from Edmonton, one from Calgary – were of equal intelligence.
Parentheses
Use parentheses:
1.
To set off structurally independent elements.
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e.g., The patterns were significant (see
figure 5).
e.g., (When a complete sentence is enclosed in parenthesis, place punctuation in the sentence, like this.) If only
part of a sentence is enclosed in parentheses (like this), place punctuation outside the parentheses (like this).
2.
To set off reference citations in text.
e.g., Smith and Jones (1983) reported…
e.g., However, this is fully described elsewhere (James and Nelson, 1980)
3.
To introduce an abbreviation
e.g., The effect on galvanic skin response (GSR)….
4.
To set off letters that identify items in a series.
e.g., The three measures were (a)….., (b)…., and
Capitalization
(c)…..
Names
Places
Streets
Cities
Countries
Rivers
First Word of Sentence
Book titles
Poetry titles
Businesses
Names
Section #3
Style
Transition Words
Transition words help maintain the flow of thought and continuity of your writing. There are many types:
1) Use a pronoun that refers to a noun in the preceding sentence. This serves as a transition word and helps avoid
repetition.
e.g., The house was larger than most mansions I have ever seen. It was very
impressive indeed.
2) Use time links as transitions.
e.g., then, next, after, while, since
He ran around the oval track. Then he swiftly ascended the stadium stands in celebration.
3) Use cause effect links as transitions.
e.g., therefore, consequently, as a result
The time was one minute faster than his previous time. As a result, he won the meet.
4) Use addition links as transitions.
e.g., in addition, moreover, furthermore, similarly
Cartier found the Canadian winters harsh and unrelenting. Similarly, Chaplain lost many of his men to scurvy
and other illnesses associated with the conditions created by cold weather. (A phrase can also by use: in a
similar manner, Champlain lost….
5) Use contrast links as transitions.
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e.g., however, but , conversely, nevertheless, although, whereas
I always enjoy her stimulating lectures.
However, my colleagues found her dull and pretentious.
Sentence Variation
There are 4 types of sentences: simple, compound, complex, and complex compound
It is important to vary the types of sentences used in any paragraph. While there are no strict rules, it is generally
advisable to vary sentences to improve the style of any body of writing.
Tense
Avoid switching tense in formal essay writing as a means to avoid abruptness and confusion.
She walks up the step quietly. Then I told her to watch out or she might have fell.
Contractions
Avoid using contractions (don’t for do not) in formal essay writing.
Synonyms
By using too many synonyms in an effort to create smooth expression, the writer may create confusion regarding
meaning.
Economy of Expression
Avoid overly long pieces of writing by eliminating redundancy, wordiness, jargon, evasiveness, circumlocution, and
clumsiness. Also weed out overly detailed descriptions that may not be necessary.
Eliminating clichés
Clichés are overused expressions such as ”light as a feather” or “cool as cucumber”. Avoid using clichés because
they have been used so often that many have lost their impact and clarity.
Paragraph construction
A paragraph should have it’s first line indented. All of the ideas in a paragraph should relate to the first sentence,
which is called the topic sentence.
Topic sentences
Topic sentences should focus on the main idea of a paragraph and they should also promote interest in what is to
come. Three ways to promote interest in what is to come. Three ways to promote interest in a topic sentence are to:
a) ask a rhetorical question, b) state an interesting fact, or c) state alarming statistics.
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Citing Works
When you write your essay for me, I will expect you to use quotations from the novel and to cite those references. Tell
me where you found your quote: what book and what page. Below , highlighted in blue will be the example of house
your endote or footnote citation should read.
QUOTATIONS, FOOTNOTES, AND BIBLIOGRAPHY IN ESSAYS
1. QUOTATIONS
Follow the directions below when quoting materials in your essays:
1.
SHORT PROSE QUOTATIONS: These are incorporated in the body of your text and are enclosed in quotation
marks. Example:
Milton makes this point perfectly clear when he says, “I cannot praise a fugitive and cloistered virtue, unexercised and
unbreathed, that never sallies out and sees her adversary . . . . “1 (To insert a quotation number, click on “Insert”.
“footnote” and choose either endnote or footnote – your choice. Then click “okay”. If you want numbers instead of
letters for endnotes, click on custom mark.)
2. LONGER PROSE QUOTATIONS: If a quotation is more than three lines in length, it is set off from the text in a
separate paragraph, or paragraphs, by single spacing and by indenting five spaces from the margin. No
quotation marks are used. Example:
Milton not only believes that readers should have freedom of choice in selecting books, but he also fears that learning
will be endangered by any type of censorship. On the latter point he writes:
Seeing therefore that those books, and those in great abundance, which are likeliest to taint both life and
doctrine, cannot be suppressed without the fall of learning, and of all ability in disputation . . . and that evil
manners are as perfectly learnt without books a thousand other ways which cannot be stopped . . . I am not able
to unfold how this cautelous enterprise of licensing 2 can be exempted from the number of vain and impossible
attempts.
3.
SHORT QUOTATIONS FROM POEMS In quoting one line only or part of a poetic line, place the quotation in
quotation marks within the body of your text, as below. Examples:
(a)
Milton brings us to Satan slowly. At first we see only "his baleful eyes" glowing in the "darkness visible" of
nethermost Hell.
(b)
In one of his poems Pope gives a good definition of onomatopoeia: "The sound must seem an Echo to the sense."
4. LONGER QUOTATIONS FROM POEMS- Where the quotation is more than one line, set it apart from your text,
single-space, indent as below. No quotation marks are used. Example Among lyric poets Herrick is one of the most
attractive. A good example of his gentle, pleasing spontaneity is the little poem addressed to Mistress Susanna
Southwell:
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Her pretty feet
Like snails did creep
A little out, and then,
As if they started at bo-peep,
Did soon draw in again.
5.
OMISSIONS: Quotations must at all times be accurate. If only a portion of a sentence is quoted, omissions must
be indicated by the use of three spaced dots. If the omission occurs at the end of a sentence, four dots are used -the last
dot being the final period in the text. When two or three words only are quoted, as in (3) above, omission dots are not to
be used. Examples:
(a)
Let us consider what Professor Wood has said about the Spenserian stanza:
None but a born poet could have forged this instrument and used it with success. It combines lyrical sweetness with epic
sweep. Each stanza is set off as a metrical unit with a rich and complex music that is . . . varied continually. 1
(b)
We gain an impression of what his eighteenth-century contemporaries thought of the notorious and
impudent Sir Francis Chartres when we learn that even his epitaph begins: "Here continueth to rot the body of Francis
Chartres . . . “
Footnotes or endnotes
Until 1984 the Modem Language Association's MLA Handbook recommended footnotes or endnotes instead of in-text
citations. Although the current (1988) MLA Handbook treats in-text citations as its preferred style (see D3-a), it also lists
the traditional notes as an acceptable alternative.
Notes provide complete publishing information, either at the bottom of the page (footnotes) or at the end of the paper
(endnotes). A raised arabic numeral in the text indicates that a quotation, paraphrase, or summary has been borrowed
from a source; to find the publishing information for that source, readers consult the footnote or endnote with the
corresponding number. Notes are numbered consecutively throughout the paper.
TEXT
For instance, Lana once described a cucumber as
"banana which-is green." 9
NOTE
9 Flora Davis, Eloquent Animals: A Study in Animal Communication (New York: Coward, 1978) 300.
The first time you cite a source in your paper, the note should include the full publication information for that work as
well as the page number of the specific quotation, paraphrase, or summary. The following examples cover the formats
that are most frequently encountered.
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BASIC FORMAT FOR A BOOK
Eugene Linden, Silent Partners: The Legacy of the Ape Language Experiments (New York: Random, 1986) 87.
TWO OR MORE AUTHORS
2 Alain Gagnon and Mary Beth Montcalm, Quebec: Beyond the Quiet Revolution (Scarborough: Nelson Canada, 1989)
108.
EDITOR OR TRANSLATOR
3 Albert Camus, Lyrical and Critical Essays, trans. Ellen Conroy Kennedy, ed. Philip Thody (New York: Knopf, 1968)
8.
UNKNOWN AUTHOR
4 The New Canadian Oxford Atlas (Toronto: Oxford
University Press, 1977) 95.
EDITION OTHER THAN THE FIRST
5 Graham Parker, An Introduction to Criminal Law,
3rd ed. (Scarborough: Nelson Canada, 1987) 78.
MULTIVOLUME WORK
6 Robert Graves, The Greek Myths, vol. 2 (New
York: Braziller, 1967) 216.
WORK IN AN ANTHOLOGY
7 M. H. Abrams, "English Romanticism: The Spirit of the Age," Romanticism Reconsidered. ed. Northrop Frye (New
York: Columbia UP, 1-963) 64.
ENCYCLOPEDIA OR DICTIONARY
a Mark S. Frankel, "Human Experimentation: Social and Professional Control," Encyclopedia of Bioethics, 1978 ed~
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Subsequent References
When at some later point in an essay you cite something else from a source already referred to, the second
or subsequent footnote should not repeat all of the information, the author's last name and the relevant page
number suffice:
Davis, p. 82.
If another footnote referring to the same source immediately precedes, then the form
I Ibid., p. 80.
is acceptable, but current practice favours using the author's name instead of ibid. If you are using more
than one work by the same author, such subsequent references must also include at least a short version of
the title of the work being cited. In an essay on Brooke which was also discussing his works of poetry, for
example, a footnote might look like this:
9 Davis, Reptiles, p. 75.
The following url will take you to a great site where you can read about how to properly place quotation
marks and punctuation in and around your citations and ordinary quotations.
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/fr_punc.html
1
citation goes here
 Box 5.3
Formatting Works Cited Entries in HTML
Some HTML editors don’t let you easily indent the second line of a
Works Cited entry. In such instances, bullet the first line of an entry.


Landsburg, Steven E. "Who Shall Inherit the Earth?" Slate 1 May
1997. 1 Oct. 1999 <http://www.slate.com/Economics/97-05-01/
Economics.asp>.
Mitchell, Jason P. "PMLA Letter." Homepage. 10 May 1997. 1
Nov. 1999
<http://sunset.backbone.olemiss.edu/~jmitchel/pmla.htm>.
To see how to document specific types of Web sources, refer to the examples throughout this
section.
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Personal site
Pellegrino, Joseph. Home page. 16 Dec. 1998. 1 Oct. 1999
< http://www.english.eku.edu /pellegrino/personal.htm>.
Professional site
The William Faulkner Society Home Page. Ed. Mortimer, Gail. 16 Sept. 1999. William
Faulkner Soc. 1 Oct. 1999 <http://www.acad.swarthmore.edu/faulkner>.
NAIC Online. 29 Sept. 1999. National Association of Inventors Corporation. 1 Oct.
1999 <http://www.better-investing.org/>.
U. S. Department of Education (ED) Home Page. 29 Sept. 1999. US Dept. of
Education. 1 Oct. 1999 <http://www.ed.gov/index.html>.
William Faulkner on the Web 7 July 1999. U of Mississippi. 20 Sept. 1999
<http://www.mcsr.olemiss.edu/~egjbp/faulkner/ faulkner.html>.
Article in an electronic journal (ejournal)
Joyce, Michael. "On the Birthday of the Stranger (in Memory of John Hawkes)."
Evergreen Review 5 Mar. 1999. 12 May 1999
<http://www.evergreenreview.com/102/evexcite/joyce/nojoyce.html>.
Wysocki, Anne Frances. "Monitoring Order: Visual Desire, the Organization of Web
Pages, and Teach the Rules of Design." Kairos: A Journal for Teachers of Writing in
Webbed Environments 3.2 (1998). 21 Oct. 1999
<http://english.ttu.edu/kairos/3.2/features/wysocki/mOrder0.html>.
Article in an electronic magazine (ezine)
Adler, Jerry. "Ghost of Everest." Newsweek 17 May 1999. 19 May 1999
<http://newsweek.com/nw-srv/issue/20_99a/printed/int/socu/ so0120_1.htm>.
Newspaper article
Wren, Christopher. "A Body on Mt. Everest, a Mystery Half-Solved." New York Times
on the Web 5 May 1999. 13 May 1999
<http://search.nytimes.com/search/daily/bin/fastweb?getdoc+site+
site+87604+0+wAAA+%22a%7Ebody%7Eon%7Emt.%7Eeverest%22>.