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Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Curriculum-Based Handbook Purpose This handbook has been created to provide you with tools necessary to be successful when teaching students who will be taking the English 30-1 exam. However, these skills should be developed in grades 10 and 11 as well, and this is why this guide is a general high school resource. Index 1. Paragraphs 11 point Paragraph Unity, Coherence and Completeness in Paragraphs 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. The Essay Revision and Style Common Writing Problems Grammar Citing Sources Appendix Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Personal Response to Texts Assignment The Personal Response to Texts Assignment asks you to respond to texts and a thematic topic. These texts may include any combination of poetry, excerpts from fiction, and non fiction, and will include a visual text(s). This assignment is designed to provide you with the opportunity to use a prose form of your choice to create personal responses that convey your ideas as prompted by the reading of a text or texts encourage the expression of your personal voice with an awareness of the intended audiences of the prose forms that you have chosen introduce you to the thematic topic of the Critical / Analytical Response to Literary Texts Assignment Value: 20% of the total examination mark (Parts A and B combined) Scoring: Ideas and Impressions – 10% Presentation – 10% Sample Personal Response to Texts Assignment Suggested time: approximately 45–60 minutes The following excerpt from a novel is set in 1918. Kathleen Piper left New Waterford, Nova Scotia, to train as an opera singer in New York City. Kathleen is 18 years old. from FALL ON YOUR KNEES Corruption hangs in the air around a great talent. Such a gift is unstable by nature, apt to embarrass its handlers. About her there is the whiff of the entertainer. Like vaudeville nipping the heels of grand opera. The maestro smells all this on Kathleen and cools his blood to a temperature undetectable by wild animals. Before him lies a gruelling task. It is so much easier to shape competence. Yet, in a small spot beneath the hardest part of his skull, the maestro is feverish with excitement. You don’t get a student like this every day? Perhaps two in a lifetime. He prepares to show her no mercy. As Kathleen works harder and harder, she walks farther and farther. Between sadistic singing lessons with the maestro and suffocatingly sedate suppers with Giles, Kathleen walks the length and breadth of the Island of Manhattan. From the East River to the Hudson; from Battery Park to the Haarlem River. One day, a girl is sitting at the maestro’s grand piano when Kathleen drags herself up to the studio. She is Rose, in a pale pink dress perfect for a dear little thing with an open face and a trusting nature, and therefore all wrong on Rose. Rose is an extremely good pianist, but Kathleen doesn’t notice that at first, for two reasons. First, because when you’re training . . . in New York City, with one eye on the Met and the other on obscurity, you don’t notice the quality of the piano accompaniment during your lesson unless it is incompetent. But this pianist is doubly inaudible because she is black and therefore outside any system that nurtures and advances a classical virtuoso. So Kathleen thinks of Rose not as a pianist but as an accompanist. When Rose looks at Kathleen the first time, she sees a daughter of fortune and looks back down at her piano keys. When she looks the second time it is to verify that the sound that just Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook filled the room really came from that milk-fed thing standing on the carpet. The voice is worth considering. The singer can go to hell. “The piano is out of tune,” says Kathleen. Ordinarily, Kathleen says nothing during her lessons. She makes the sounds the maestro orders her to make and, in the privacy of her own mind, thinks up a thousand devastating retorts with which to slay him. But today she is impelled to speak, because what’s the good of an accompanist if she can’t even hear when the piano is off key? Kathleen has addressed her observation to the maestro, but Rose addresses Kathleen, “The piano is perfectly in tune. You’re flat.” Kathleen glares at the accompanist, with equal parts fury and disbelief. And the accompanist looks back — calm, level gaze. Insolent, more like it, how dare she? Handsome features cut like sculpture into her face, so at odds with the puffed sleeves and schoolgirl braids. Kathleen looks away dismissively from the bean-pole in a hand-me-down dress. She expects the maestro to scold the accompanist or, preferably, fire her. But instead he turns to Kathleen. “Perhaps if you were less intent upon making noise, and more intent upon listening, you might learn to hear the difference between that” — the maestro jabs at a piano key — “and this” — the maestro makes a horrible honking sound through his nose, supposedly in imitation of Kathleen. Kathleen floods crimson. The maestro instructs her coolly, “Lesson One: The Scale.” Lesson One! Kathleen takes a breath and steadies herself for the giant step backwards. She pictures a shining sword sharp at both edges, and sings the scale, pondering all the while who is worse: Sister Saint Monica, or this singing teacher whom she has come to think of as the Kaiser. And before she is halfway through the scale, she decides: the accompanist is worse. Rose plays the scale and watches the singer. Decides she is not white, not even red. But green. Faintly visible, called up by outrage, are the veins at her wrists, neck, temple. This is the only physical detail that corroborates the voice, which Rose knows to be not of human origin. The green must be seaweed. Rose allows her mind to wander in this way whenever she is required to play in harness. It helps take the sting from the bit. Rose has no need of fancy when she plays her own music, because there is no difference between her own music and her mind. All alone after hours in a second-storey church in Haarlem, far north of this studio. Free rein. But for now: Lesson One — La Scala. Ann-Marie MacDonald Extracted from Fall On Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald. Copyright © 1996 by Ann-Marie MacDonald. Reprinted by permission of Alfred A. Knopf Canada. The 431 Air Demonstration Squadron consists of approximately 80 Canadian Forces personnel, including the 24 members of the show team, the Snowbirds. For 34 seasons, the Snowbirds have demonstrated to the North American public the skill, professionalism, and teamwork of the men and women of the Canadian Forces. During a performance, the Snowbirds will fly at speeds ranging from 185 km/h to 590 km/h, at times passing within 10 meters of each other. The Snowbirds strive for perfection and the team members are well-known for their skill but they have experienced tragedy. Four pilots have lost their lives during air show performances. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook I THINK CONTINUALLY OF THOSE WHO WERE TRULY GREAT Spender, Stephen. “I think continually of those who were truly great.” In Collected Poems, 1928–1953. New York: Random House, 1955. Used with permission from Ed Victor Ltd. I think continually of those who were truly great. Who, from the womb, remembered the soul’s history Through corridors of light where the hours are suns, Endless and singing. Whose lovely ambition Was that their lips, still touched with fire, Should tell of the Spirit, clothed from head to foot in song. And who hoarded from the Spring branches The desires falling across their bodies like blossoms. What is precious, is never to forget The essential delight of the blood drawn from ageless springs Breaking through rocks in worlds before our earth. Never to deny its pleasure in the morning simple light Nor its grave evening demand for love. Never to allow gradually the traffic to smother With noise and fog, the flowering of the Spirit. Near the snow, near the sun, in the highest fields, See how these names are fêted by the waving grass And by the streamers of white cloud And whispers of wind in the listening sky. The names of those who in their lives fought for life, Who wore at their hearts the fire’s centre. Born of the sun, they traveled a short while toward the sun, And left the vivid air signed with their honour. Stephen Spender The texts presented in the Sample Personal Response to Texts Assignment on pages 10 to 14 do not necessarily indicate the length or number of texts that will be presented to students in the 2005 Part A: Written Response, Personal Response to Texts Assignments. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook The Assignment In the excerpt from Fall On Your Knees, the narrator describes how three individuals respond to each other as they each pursue an ideal. The highly skilled men and women of the Snowbirds described and photographed on page 11 are both individually and collectively responsible for the team’s successes and failures. The photographs on page 12 capture moments from the Snowbird’s awe-inspiring performances. In the poem “The Truly Great” on page 13, the speaker explores the nature of those individuals who exemplify excellence. What do these texts suggest to you about the role individualism plays in the pursuit of excellence? Support your idea(s) with reference to one or more of the texts presented and to your previous knowledge and/or experience. In your writing, you must select a prose form that is appropriate to the ideas you wish to express and that will enable you to communicate effectively to the reader discuss ideas and/or impressions that are relevant to this assignment Initial Planning You may respond from a personal, critical, and/or creative perspective. Keep in mind that regardless of the form you choose, you must communicate clearly to the reader. Briefly identify your choice of prose form, your reason(s) for choosing this prose form, and what you intend to communicate. ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook There are a variety of approaches that you can use for the personal response to texts assignment. Remember that one response that is not appropriate is creating poetry. Other than that, here are a few suggestions: Reflective Essay – of, relating to, produced by, or resulting from reflection, an essay related to the topic provided. This would be the personal approach to the question. Critical Analysis Essay – analyzing the texts in a formal manner. Monologue – a dramatic soliloquy, a literary composition in the form of a soliloquy, a long speech made by one person, often monopolizing a conversation Script – the text of a play, broadcast, or movie, a copy of a text used by a director or performer. Correspondence – a series of letters, emails, etc… Communication by the exchange of letters, the letters written or received. Diary entry or entries – A series of daily records, especially a personal record of events, experiences, and observations; a journal. Obituary – A published speech or written tribute, especially one praising someone who has died. Eulogy – A laudatory speech or written tribute, especially one praising someone who has died. Short Story – A short prose work based on the question and visuals and texts provided. Reliving the Moment A Recommendation Report based on the texts provided Psychologist’s Report Report Card Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Planning/Reflection Ask the following questions: What ideas, feelings, or impressions does the text communicate to me about the topic? What details in the text create and convey these ideas, feelings, or impressions? What have I experienced or learned that is relevant to my ideas, feelings, or impressions of the topic and/or the text? How might one or more of these texts relate to one another, my ideas, and the topic? What ideas & support will allow me to compose the most effective response to the topic? Choice of Prose Form – What prose form will allow me to communicate my ideas and impressions most effectively? What prose forms have allowed me to communicate successfully in the past? Have I been able to master a creative approach? Are my skills best suited to a formal or conventional composition? What prose form will best suit the ideas I wish to present? How can I use language and develop my ideas to make my writing communicate effectively? Suggestions: Make sure you answer the question Connect key word early Include note to marker to explain choice of style, why and “thesis” to answer the question Focus on character development (motivation, perspective over time) vs. plot Number of errors detracts from presentation Use series of entries if diary or letters Age of character reflects in vocabulary and style only Consider audience Minimum 3 – 5 references Photos – think about 5 Ws (though don’t state these) How and why vs. who and what Work backwards from the photo Risk vs. obvious Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Examples – Note to Marker My personal response will be written in the form of a diary. I chose this style to develop the inner thoughts and feelings of the character and her response to the changeable nature of life. She discovers that change is inevitable but does not have to be negative. If an individual faces change with acceptance and open-mindedness, it can be a positive experience – even of personal growth. …she learns that in order to persevere through all the changes that life brings, one must cling to faith/maintain beliefs/embrace the support of community/make rational choices (not based of emotion) …in the form of a newspaper article to comment objectively… …in the form of a series of letters to show the common bond between husband/wife, friends regarding their shared human experience… In the form of a eulogy to reflect on life lessons learned/gained from this person and/or experiences… If you choose a PERSONAL RESPONSE, here are some suggestions – The question asks you to explore what the texts suggest to you about the topic. Therefore, you must make sure you reference the text(s) in your response. One way to approach this is to write a paragraph or series of paragraphs analyzing one or more of the texts provided on the exam. Then, connect the ideas explored to personal experience or knowledge. Make sure the transition between the two parts of the response is smooth. Personal response to the visual – your response should be as specific and detailed as possible. Imagine as clearly as possible the reasons why a person in the image is performing a particular action. What do you think motivates that person? In what way could this motivation relate to yourself, either with experiences you have had or ones you imagine you may have? Relate the image to your own experiences and understandings. If you choose a CRITICAL RESPONSE, here are some suggestions – When you respond to the visual(s): When writing your response, consider the following – Audience Purpose Organization of your thoughts Appropriate vocabulary Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Edit the response Time restraints Suggestions from Alberta Education that explain in greater detail the visual Take note of the features of the picture Ask the question who, what, where, when, shy and how The response should include the following: The subject of the image includes the people, things and setting that are contained in the pictures. You could ask what you can tell about the people from their appearance or from their dress. What are they doing? How do the people relate to each other in their groups? The body language of a subject refers to the posture or gestures he or she uses that express how the person feels. You might ask what attitude is suggested by the person’s posture. What movement is suggested by the position of the arm and legs? Facial expressions may seem like an obvious feature of the subject to note, but to improve your response; you may also want to consider the relation between the facial expressions of the subjects. Composition describes the way the people and objects in the photograph are arranged to create an effect. What does the arrangement of the elements of the photograph tell you about what might be its intended effect? Who or what appears in the background? Levels refers to the placement of elements within the frame of the photograph. With the levels we are not thinking of the foreground and background; instead we are looking for the placement of the photographs elements on a horizontal and vertical plane? Was the shot taken from beneath the subject, above the subject or at eye level? What elements are placed near the center of the image and what elements are located along the periphery? Colours relates to the range of colour used in the image. Consider the effects conveyed by objects that have brighter colours in relation to those that have darker or duller colours. Why are the brighter colours emphasized in the image? Also consider the use of light and shadow. Is the lighting natural, coming from the sun or the moon? If it is a black and white photograph, consider the following – does the black and white finish make the image seem harsh? Does the image appear sharper? Always relate the image back to yourself. There are two advantages in taking this approach: Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook The Visual Response Paragraph Topic statement What is the overall impression of the photo? Supporting Statement #1 Identify a specific photography technique that is used successfully. For example, a student could mention the use of subject, body language… Reference #1 Cite a reference directly from the photograph that is an example of the technique mentioned in the supporting statement. Comment #1 Connect the reference to your overall impression of the photograph. Supporting Statement #2 Identify another specific photography technique. Reference #2 Cite another specific reference from the photograph. Comment #2 Connect this reference to you overall impressions of the visual image. Supporting Statement #3 Highlight the last and perhaps the strongest photography technique Reference #3 Go to the picture and find the strongest and most compelling example. Comment #3 Explain how that visual reference reinforces your impression. Closing statement This is your last chance to impress your opinion upon the reader and reinforce how the photography successfully brought about this impression. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook TPCASTT (For Responding to Literature, Especially Poetry) Title Titles are often a key to possible meanings of a piece, especially poetry. Considering the title is to your advantage. Paraphrase Readers often ignore the plot of a piece of literature. Frequently, the real understanding of a poem, in particular, must evolve from comprehension of “what’s going on in the poem”. Connotation Readers should examine any and all poetic devices, focusing on how such devices contribute to the meaning, the effect, or both of a poem. Consider imagery, symbolism, diction, point of view, and sound devices. Knowing the following definitions will be helpful – alliteration, allusion, antithesis, hyperbole, irony, metaphor, metonymy, onomatopoeia, oxymoron, paradox, personification, pun, sarcasm… Attitude (Tone) Readers are now ready to explore the multiple attitudes. Examination of diction, images and details suggests the speaker’s attitudes and contributes to understanding. Shift (Progression) As is true of most cases, the poet’s understanding of an experience is a gradual realization, and the poem is a reflection of that epiphany and, consequently, the students’ understanding of the poem. The discovery of the shift can be facilitated if students watch for the following: Key words (but, yet, however, although) Punctuation (dashes, periods, colons) Stanza division Irony (sometimes irony hides shifts) Changes in diction (slang to formal language) Title (again) Examine the title again, this time on an interpretive level. Theme In identifying a theme, students should recognize the human experience, motivation, or condition suggested by the poem. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Scoring Categories and Scoring Criteria for Personal Response to Texts Assignment Ideas and Impressions (10% of total examination mark) Cross-Reference to the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts 2.1 2.2 2.3 4.1 When marking Ideas and Impressions, the marker should consider the quality of Excellent E Proficient Pf Satisfactory S Limited L Poor P Insufficient INS the student’s exploration of the topic the student’s ideas and reflection support in relation to the student’s ideas and impressions The student’s exploration of the topic is insightful. Perceptions and/or ideas are confident and discerning. Support is precise and aptly reinforces the student’s ideas and impressions. The student’s exploration of the topic is purposeful. Perceptions and/or ideas are thoughtful and considered. Support is specific and strengthens the student’s ideas and impressions. The student’s exploration of the topic is generalized. Perceptions and/or ideas are straightforward and relevant. Support is adequate and clarifies the student’s ideas and impressions. The student’s exploration of the topic is vague. Perceptions and/or ideas are superficial and/or ambiguous. Support is imprecise and/or ineffectively related to the student’s ideas and impressions. The student’s exploration of the topic is minimal. Perceptions and/or ideas are underdeveloped and/or irrelevant. Support is lacking and/or unrelated to the student’s ideas and impressions. Insufficient is a special category. It is not an indicator of quality. Assign insufficient when the student has written so little that it is not possible to assess Ideas and Impressions OR the marker can discern no evidence of an attempt to address the task presented in the assignment Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook When marking Presentation, the marker should consider the effectiveness of Presentation (10% of total examination mark) Cross-Reference to the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts 3.1 3.2 4.1 4.2 Excellent E Proficient Pf Satisfactory S Limited L Poor P voice in relation to the context created by the student in the chosen prose form stylistic choices (including quality of language and expression) and the student’s creation of tone the student’s development of a unifying effect Consider the proportion of error in terms of the complexity and length of the response. The voice created by the student is convincing. Stylistic choices are precise and the student’s creation of tone is adept. The unifying effect is skilfully developed. The voice created by the student is distinct. Stylistic choices are specific and the student’s creation of tone is competent. The unifying effect is capably developed. The voice created by the student is apparent. Stylistic choices are adequate and the student’s creation of tone is conventional. The unifying effect is appropriately developed. The voice created by the student is indistinct. Stylistic choices are imprecise and the student’s creation of tone is inconsistent. The unifying effect is inadequately developed. The voice created by the student is obscure. Stylistic choices impede communication and the student’s creation of tone is ineffective. A unifying effect is absent. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Basic Photography Terms Background the part of the picture or scene toward the back, often not in clear view Close-up a close-up is a shot which brings the subject very close to the camera. Faces are often focused on and so close-ups are usually used to show facial expression of the subject. Foreground the part of the picture of scene closest to the viewer Frame/Framing a frame is what is seen in an entire photograph; framing is how the picture or what is purposely structured or organized for what it does (n’t) show/include High angle shot is taken from a higher position shooting down on a subject, making the subject look small, unimportant, inferior, un-heroic, lonely, or vulnerable. Long shot is taken at some distance from the subject. It includes the entire bodies of subjects and many details of the setting. Low angle shot is taken from a lower position shooting up at a subject, making the subject look important, heroic, stronger, superior, and larger-than-life Medium shot probably the most common camera shot, showing subjects as from a moderate distance from the camera, with the top halves of bodies showing p.o.v. (point of view) usually refers to a camera shot as a character might see the action; sometimes the p.o.v. just gives the location of the camera (e.g. – On a cliff, under car wheels) Wide angle what the human eye sees horizontally as recorded by a camera Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Critical Analysis of a Visual The Eleven Point Paragraph Topic Sentence The focus/purpose of the paragraph is stated. This sentence should be short and to the point, it should contain strong and definitive vocabulary and it should not include any pronouns. Supporting Statement 1 This statement introduces the first idea/argument that supports the paragraph’s purpose. Reference 1 Here you cite specific evidence that reinforces the first supporting argument. This evidence may be direct quotes or general references. Comment 1 The purpose of the comment is to connect the evidence to the paragraph’s overall purpose and to the thesis. Supporting Statement 2 This is your second argument/idea that supports the topic sentence. Reference 2 Again this reference will directly reinforce supporting statement 2. Comment 2 Connect this reference to the topic statement. Supporting Statement 3 This is your third argument/idea that supports the topic sentence. Reference 3 Again this is a specific piece of evidence from the literature or subject that reinforces your argument. Comment 3 Connect this last reference to your topic sentence. Closing Statement This closes the paragraph and connects the paragraph to the thesis. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook OBJECTIVES: Unity, coherence and completeness in paragraphs 1) Define unity, coherence, and completeness 2) Identify methods of achieving unity, coherence, and completeness 3) Achieve unity, coherence and completeness in paragraphs and essays NOTES/CONCEPTS When students are asked what the characteristics of a paragraph are, they usually answer, “beginning, middle, and end.” This isn’t a very useful answer, because lots of things have beginnings, middles, and ends, like snakes, so what makes a paragraph different? The characteristics of a well-developed paragraph are: 1) Unity 2) Coherence 3) Completeness 1) Unity A paragraph must have unity: its sentences must stick to the dominant idea or topic of the paragraph. A weakness in many student papers is lack of unity, which means that somewhere in its development the paragraph strays away from the topic sentence; that is, the writer sometimes gets sidetracked. Here is an example: (1)A fairy tale is a serious story with a human hero and a happy ending. (2)The hero in a fairy tale is different from the hero in a tragedy in that his progression is from bad to good fortune, rather than the reverse. (3) In the Greek tragedy “Oedipus Rex,” for example, the hero goes from highest fortune to lowest misery, but in the end he recognizes his error in judgment and maintains a noble posture despite profound suffering. (4) The audience watching him is purged of pity and fear through what Aristotle labeled a “catharsis.” (5) The hero in a fairy tale usually has a miserable beginning. (6) He is either socially obscure or despised as being stupid and lacking in heroic virtues. (7)But in the end, he has surprised everyone by demonstrating his courage, consequently winning fame, riches, and love. (8) We clearly see this bad-to-good-fortune progress in stories like “Cinderella,” “Sleeping Beauty,” and “The Frog Prince.” The topic sentence of this paragraph promises to give a definition of the fairy tale. Unfortunately, part of the paragraph drifts away from the definition. The writer is tricked into trouble by sentence 2, which is still acceptable because it helps define the fairy tale by saying what it is not -- it is not a tragedy. But this allusion to tragedy then lures the writer into two additional sentences that describe a Greek tragedy and explain Aristotle’s idea of catharsis. These two sentences add nothing to the definition of a fairy tale; they should therefore be left out. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook 2) Coherence Having unity in a paragraph is not enough. Even when all sentences in the paragraph relate strictly to the topic sentence, the way in which they are related to each other may be muddled. In other words, the sentences of a paragraph must cohere; they must be held together by more than sequence on the page. Four main devices can be used to insure coherence: a) transitional words and phrases b) pronoun reference c) repeated key terms d) parallelism A) Coherence in a paragraph is achieved by the use of transitional words and phrases - words and phrases that point out the direction toward which the paragraph is moving. Example: In addition to the academic traditionalism in schools, there are other problems. First, there is the problem of co-ordinating education with the realities of the work world. Second, there is the question of how long the schooling period should be. Despite evidence to the contrary, a case can be made for the notion that we not only overeducate our children, but also take too long to do it. The italicized words and phrases are there to add coherence to the passage. They help to lead the argument continuously from one sentence to the next. Other common transitional words and phrases are: after as a consequence for example in contrast moreover also but however in fact nevertheless and finally in addition in spite of next B) Coherence is also achieved by the use of pronoun reference. A noun is used in one sentence or clause, and a pronoun to refer to it is used in the next sentence or clause. Example: Women are a majority of the population, but they are treated like a minority group. The prejudice against them is so deep-rooted that, paradoxically, most persons continue to pretend that it does not exist. Indeed, most women prefer to ignore the situation than to rock the boat. They accept being paid less for doing the same work as a man. They are as quick as any male to condemn a woman who ventures outside the limits of the role men have assigned to females: that of toil and drudge. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook A noun is used in one sentence, and a pronoun is used in its place in the following sentences. The reader’s attention is therefore directed from the sentence he is reading to the one before, thereby establishing a link between them. C) Key terms may be repeated throughout the paragraph to help link its sentences together. Example: Canadians can be classified according to their responses to winter. First, there are those who reject such uncivilized weather and avoid winter by flying off to Hawaii or Mexico. Next, there are some tolerant people who simply endure winter, purchasing clothing sufficiently warm enough to get them throughout their brief moments in the outdoors. Finally, there are the people who actually love winter. Skiing, skating, and snowmobiling, they have embraced winter totally. Here, the repeated use of the word winter provides a link between the sentences. D) A final way of achieving coherence is through the use of parallelism. A similar grammatical pattern is used in various sentences throughout the paragraph to help link them together. Example: American involvement in Vietnam had its supporters and detractors. To some it was a shoddy affair, ill-conceived from the beginning, mismanaged along the way; to others, it was an example of America’s commitment to its word. To some it was a sinful waste of resources; to others, it was money well spent to turn back communism. Despite the fact that the war has been over for several years, the divisiveness it caused continues. 3) Completeness A good paragraph promises content, then proceeds to supply it with ideas, facts, or illustrations. Conversely, a bad paragraph is often one that promises content but fails to deliver. Since every paragraph essentially consists of a topic sentence that needs to be proved, failure to deliver content has two primary causes: either the topic sentence is not developed at all, or it is merely extended through repetition. In either case, the reader is saddled with useless generalizations. Example: We are living richly right now by squandering our planet’s wealth. We are running through resources at an unprecedented rate, acting like irresponsible children who lack any awareness of future obligations. How long can this spendthrift carelessness continue? Something must be done if we are to avoid disaster. This is a stagnant paragraph. The student has expanded his topic sentence by adding words, but he has not added any real content. Every sentence repeats the original topic Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook sentence, yet does not drive the argument forward with convincing support. Now read this paragraph: We may not appreciate the fact, but a fact nevertheless it remains; we are living in a Golden Age, the most gilded Golden Age of human history - not only of past history, but of future history. For, as Sir Charles Darwin and many others before him have pointed out, we are living like drunken sailors, like the irresponsible heirs of a millionaire uncle. At an ever-accelerating rate we are now squandering the capital of metallic ores and fossils fuels accumulated in the earth’s crust. How long can this spending spree go on? Estimates vary. But all are agreed that within a few centuries or at most a few millennia, Man will have run through his capital and will be compelled to live, for the remaining nine thousand nine hundred and seventy or eighty centuries of his career as Homo sapiens, strictly on income. Sir Charles is of the opinion that Man will successfully make the transition from rich ores to poor ones and even sea water, from coal, oil, uranium and thorium to solar energy and alcohol derived from plants. About as much energy as is now available can be derived from new sources - but with a far greater expense in man hours, a much larger capital investment in machinery. And the same holds true of the raw materials on which industrial civilization depends. By doing a great deal more work than they are doing now, men will contrive to extract the diluted dregs of the planet’s metallic wealth or will fabricate non-metallic substitutes for the elements they have completely used up. In such an event, some human beings will still live fairly well, but not in the style to which we, the squanderers of planetary capital, are accustomed. -Aldous Huxley Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow. We may not all agree with the ideas presented above, but at least we feel that the writer has fulfilled his promise to explain how we are squandering the earth’s wealth. He has provided clear examples for his opinion, and he has moved from the general to the specific, always keeping in mind the direction of his topic sentence. His paragraph is complete. Note: It is much easier to write a complete paragraph if you start with an effective topic sentence. Note: Unity, coherence and completeness also apply to essays. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook The Literary Analysis Essay The literary analysis essay is an evaluation of a piece of literature. This evaluation is based on past reading experience and knowledge of literary techniques. A literary analysis is an examination of the work as a whole, then in specific parts. To analyze is to look critically at the work, not looking specifically for faults, but looking for meaning. The organization of a literary analysis follows one of three patterns: Chronological Order: discussing characters or events as they change over time Order of Importance: presenting the most important or noteworthy point either first or last Comparison: Contrast order: grouping similarities or differences within a work or between works Guidelines for a Successful Literary Analysis Essay I. Interact with the literature - think carefully about what you have read engage in critical response as you discuss the literature in relation to the given topic suspend judgment and read the work on its own terms , look for pattern and purpose II. Analyze the literature - examine ideas themes and symbols, examine characters and their motivation, choices, causes and effects go beyond the literal level to discuss the figurative level III. Avoid giving a plot summary Assume the person reading your essay has already read the selection. What he or she is interested in are: - Do you understand what you have read? Can you distinguish between the literal and figurative levels of meaning? - Can you perceive what is important about the work even if it is not directly stated? That is, can you read between the lines or below the surface? - Can you respond to the selection in a mature, reasonable, thoughtful and sensitive way? Can you appreciate the techniques and style of the work? IV. Be specific - Specific examples are needed to show that you know how to back up an interpretation or opinion and you have read the text, and know it well. Avoid being too general. V. Be accurate Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook - Be very clear with what you want to say. Your writing should be straightforward. Avoid flowery attempts to impress the reader with pedantic language. - Your facts have to be accurate. Every time you mention a character or event, this information cannot be false - otherwise you have committed a basic error. Referring to a character by a wrong name or misspelling a character's name are inexcusable factual errors. Common Literary Perspectives and Themes: Since literature is predictably about life and human nature, certain perspectives recur. These include the following views: Purpose is the most important aspect of any literary work. - Ask yourself why the author wrote the work. What did he or she want to say about a given subject, life in general, or human nature? An author may have a very serious purpose, perhaps related to theme: in Lord of the Flies one theme is that humankind has survived despite its tendency toward violence, war, and destruction. Relevant to this, one of William Golding's purposes is to show us the darkness of the human heart. Most protagonists have to make significant life-altering choices. - Such choices are based on the character's beliefs and values as well as the situation and limiting circumstances. Some choices will turn out to be positive or life-enhancing, culminating in personal growth, positive change, and increased happiness or perspective. Other choices, especially in tragedy, will be negative and destructive because of character flaws - the result is death, disaster, or hardship for the protagonist and other characters. There will always be a number of conflicts. - Conflicts will be between characters with differing attitudes, or within the mind of a single character. These conflicts will typically be emotional, mental and spiritual in nature. Most selections will present a dual view of human experience. - Popular pairs of topics include: good and evil, reality and illusion, conformity and rebellion, the - individual and society, tradition and change, love and betrayal, materialism and spirituality. In works like Macbeth, Mosquito Coast, Lord of the Flies, and Hamlet, authors reveal the dual nature of human beings: characters can have contradictory sides that lead to opposing values and beliefs. Most selections contain irony. - Because human beings behave in contradictory ways, and there is more than one view of just about any situation, many selections are ironic. The truth of a situation may be different from its appearance, and situations may turn out differently from what was expected. For both reader and protagonist, there is often a learning aspect to ironic misjudgments, errors and any resulting suffering. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook The Essay A) The Introduction The introduction is perhaps the most critical portion of the essay. It gives the reader his/her first impression of the student and sets the tone for the remainder of the composition. Thus, the introduction should be clear, concise, and tightly controlled In general, a good introduction functions to: a) define and limit the topic i.e.: the consuming nature of ambition in Macbeth b) develop the method to be employed by the student i.e.: illustrating the process by which Macbeth's ambition leads to his own downfall c) establish the tone of the essay i.e.: humorous, serious, sarcastic d) arouse interest Before you begin creating an introduction, you must develop a controlling idea or thesis statement. The thesis introduces the central purpose of the essay and gives it direction. It is a universal statement about a topic as related to a piece of literature studied. It should be expressed as a single, clear statement. The basic parts of a thesis statement for a thematic essay include: a) the title of the work studied (optional if mentioned earlier in the introduction) b) the name of the author / playwright c) the genre d) the technique(s) employed by the writer to strengthen his/her argument e) the main thematic argument / focus of theme Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook WRITING Students should keep in mind that the thesis statement is the primary building block for the entire essay. Time should be taken BEFORE any writing is done to construct a thesis and establish a focus for the essay. This may need to be revised once the essay is complete. Hints for building a thesis - Try to limit the length of the thesis statement. Keep it short and simple, and avoid a run-on sentence. - Make the main argument as direct and specific as possible. i.e.: NOT - Friendship is nice. YES - Friendship can be a pleasant and fulfilling aspect of life. - Do NOT state the thesis as a question. i.e.: Is Macbeth a villain? - Do NOT use the first person verb tense, or express the thesis as a personal opinion. i.e.: "I think", "I believe", or "In my opinion" - Do NOT use too complex or wordy language. Simplicity is often the best alternative. EXAMPLES: Given Theme: SUPPRESSION Given the general theme of suppression, the student must create a specific assertion or focus. i.e.: Suppressive experiences may spur a search for personal identity. Using this argument, a thesis statement may be: In the play A Doll's House, Heinrich Ibsen employs character development to suggest that suppressive experiences may spur a search for personal identity. Note: the basic parts a) title - Doll's House b) author's name - Heinrich Ibsen c) genre - play d) technique - character development e) theme and focus - suppressive experiences may spur a search for identity Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Given Theme: CIVILIZATION Given the general theme of civilization, the student must create a specific assertion. i.e.: Human civilization is essentially savage. Using this argument, a thesis statement may be: In the novel Lord of the Flies, William Golding utilizes symbolic imagery to suggest that human civilization is essentially savage. Note the basic parts: a) b) c) d) e) title - Lord of the Flies author's name - William Golding genre - novel technique - symbolic imagery theme and focus - human civilization is essentially savage Sample Thesis Statements 1. In Shakespeare's play Hamlet, the playwright uses the title character to prove that one must discover his own moral beliefs before he sets out to accomplish his goals. 2. In the play Death of a Salesman, Arthur Miller develops the character Willy Loman to demonstrate how personal freedom is limited by a lack of success. 3. Steinbeck develops the characters of George and Lennie in the novel Of Mice and Men to examine the idea that while some people cannot handle the demands life offers, others courageously confront challenge. 4. Through the contrasting characters of Willy and Biff, Arthur Miller in the modern drama Death of a Salesman, examines the idea that for some people, the desire to escape the harshness of life is stronger than the need to confront reality. 5. The idea that one must cling to hope in the face of adversity is apparent through the development of the protagonists in the film “Life is Beautiful" by Roberto Benigni and the biography Night by Elie Weisel. 6. Arthur Miller's play Death of a Salesman and Gus Van Sant's film “Finding Forrester" utilize character development to portray the idea that an individual's perspective of reality becomes a guiding force through his life. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook WRITING Once the student has established a thesis, he/she may proceed to the introduction itself. As stated earlier, a funnel introduction is one which progresses from the broad to the specific. Students should begin with general statements pertaining to the theme and continue by relating the theme to a particular work studied. Finally, the student must present a specific argument (thesis statement) which narrows the discussion to a single assertion. The following is an example of a funnel introduction: Example: In our society, people tend to place a great emphasis on first impressions. This leads to the stereotyping of countless individuals on the basis of their outer appearance. In order to uncover the true nature of an individual, people must force themselves to look past this rather "weak" perception of others. In the short story "Gaston," William Sarayan makes powerful use of character development to suggest that appearances are frequently unreliable in that they do not reveal one's inner self. This introduction was written for an essay on the theme of unreliable appearances. Note the manner in which the student progresses from general statements on the manifestations of this theme within society to a clear, specific thesis statement. Utilizing the funnel format, the student has effectively introduced and defined the topic, created a focus, and indicated a clear direction. To reinforce the concept of the funnel introduction, another example is presented below. Note once again the orderly progression from general to specific. The perpetual search for a better existence serves as a positive guideline in the lives of individuals. In D. H. Lawrence's short story “The Rocking Horse Winner," however, the overwhelming need to grasp the intangible proves to be a source of great physical and emotional despair. Consequently, Lawrence is able to utilize the divergence of character to suggest that one's futile journey towards a conceived happiness often leads to self-destruction. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook WRITING It is worth noting that readers appreciate creativity and originality in both the introduction and the remainder of the essay. One of the functions of the introduction is to arouse interest, and the student has many creative alternatives for the initial general statement. Choices include: a) Make a general observation on the theme in society. i.e.: In our society, people tend to place a great emphasis on first Impressions. b) Begin by easing into a quotation (always identify the speaker) i.e.: Fulton J. Sheen once said, "Pride is an admission of weakness." c) Start with a general misconception i.e.: For centuries, society has mistakenly classified ambition as virtue. d) Begin with relevant concepts from other areas of study i.e.: Dalton's "billiard ball atoms," Columbus' round earth and Copernicus' heliocentric solar system were all ideas used to find explanations for unexplainable natural phenomena. e) Start with an analogy - a comparison of two things where the familiar is compared to the unfamiliar i.e.: Finding a boyfriend is much like fishing. You need all of the proper equipment and the proper bait. f) Begin by stating a fact and linking it to your idea i.e.: When Hitler turned anti-Semitism into an official government policy in 1934, within a decade nearly six million Jews as well as gypsies intellectuals, homosexuals, Marxists and other -enemies of the state" were murdered. g) start with an anecdote - a short, amusing narrative i.e.: When Samuel Taylor Coleridge borrowed books from Charles Lamb, Coleridge returned the books to Lamb enriched with brilliant notes in the margins. Now the library would heavily fine people who return books after having underlined the text mercilessly and written in their own study notes neither brilliant nor enriching. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook WRITING The following example presents a creative alternative: Dalton's "billiard ball atoms", Columbus' round earth and Copernicus' heliocentric solar system were all ideas used to find explanations for unexplainable natural phenomena. These three scientists had to expand their realm of thinking and boldly suggest theories that were not even considered possibilities. The same process is cleverly exhibited in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's short story, "The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World," In this story, Marquez traces the awakening of the village people to suggest that the unexplained acts as a catalyst in the expansion of thought and imagination. The following example integrates a quotation into the opening sentence: Samuel Beckett once said, “there's men all over… blaming on his boots the faults of his feet." Individuals are often caught blaming others for their mistakes. Similarly, in the play Death of a Salesman, playwright Arthur Miller utilizes character development to reveal the idea that when one has contorted views and perspectives, he must examine the truth about himself in order to achieve true happiness. B) Body Paragraphs The number of paragraphs depends on how the essay is organized. Generally an essay develops a minimum of 3 - 4 points per body paragraph. Body Paragraphs Include: a) A topic sentence that should focus the main idea of the paragraph as it relates to thesis. Often character / technique is mentioned here. b) 3 - 4 points linked to main idea in topic sentence - Plot incidents to support each point (Do not re-tell plot.) - Quotations to support each point or most points - Tie back for each point (Relate this point to the theme of the essay as stated in the topic sentence/thesis.) c) a clincher sentence with a closing statement for the paragraph Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook C) Conclusion - Restate thesis first but do not repeat yourself. For example, you might include author but not title. Always mention theme and focus when you re-state thesis. - Close off with general sentences related to theme. Here you tie ideas by referring to your essay title, to the quotation or example in your introduction, or you might just comment on the theme. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook The following is a sample of a literary essay with ONE developed body paragraph. “Two Lives, One Choice” Every human being, at one point in time, must make decisions. The choices people make reflect their character and often determine the direction of their lives. One either accepts the circumstances of his life or takes action to change it, thus making important decisions. In the novel, Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck utilizes characterization to suggest that often times; a decision can completely change a life. George Milton is a bright man who is compelled to make many decisions for himself and the welfare of his mentally challenged friend Lennie. When Lennie's aunt dies, George makes the decision to look after him. But when he "thinks of the swell time [he] coulda' had" without the other man, he reconsiders. Yet with his choice to take care of Lennie, George discovers that he has a friend and companion for life. This decision impacts George in a positive way, and it proves that he is a kind man who is wise, patient and compromising. Another decision George makes is to instill in Lennie's mind, the idea of a happy place of their own. Whenever the world treats the friends unjustly and they need a safe place to escape, George always chooses to tell Lennie of the home they are going to buy where they can "live off the fatta' the land," make their own decisions and live their lives how they choose. Even though George is not always sure if they will ever reach that place, his decision to use it as an escape for himself and Lennie shows that he cares greatly for his friend and wants him to be safe. This decision impacts both men's lives and spirits by giving them a dream and goal, further demonstrating George's ingenuity, creativity and optimism. Throughout their lifetime together, George makes many decisions to help get Lennie out of trouble. The last decision George makes on behalf of Lennie is not an easy one. When Lennie accidentally kills a woman, George must decide the fate of his friend. Though it is difficult, George decides that he must mercifully kill Lennie to save him from danger He feels that he "hadda' do it." This decision not only terminates a life, but it ends a friendship and weakens the conscience of a strong man. The impact of this decision is enormous for George, and it proves that he is discerning, level headed and compassionate. In his life, George has to make many choices concerning his friend and himself, and these choices greatly affect the lives of both men. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Approaching the Question 1. Read all parts of the question over carefully. Circle key words and paraphrase Use a dictionary 2. Begin brainstorming to select the literature you will use in your essay. List all pieces studied Ask yourself “which piece studied relates to the topic?” Jot brief points that relate well to the topic 3. Brainstorm the literature you have chosen (in a chart). Setting up the chart: Possibilities for headings? (Possible methods of organization.) Depending on the focus or topic of the essay the following are possible methods to consider. This approach will be very useful when writing the English 30 Diploma exam. The questions on the English 30 Exam are such that this approach will be valid! One piece of literature Choose three different characters from the one piece of literature Choose one character from the literature and examine that one character in the beginning, middle and end of the piece (BME organization) Create a three fold thesis, with each part of the thesis becoming a heading in the chart (and a separate body paragraph in the essay) must be cohesive Two pieces of literature Choose three different characters (two from one piece; one from another) Choose one character from one piece, one character from another, compare/contrast the characters in the third paragraph Sample Chart Question: What ideas does the author develop regarding the response of individuals to challenge? The Guest by Albert Camus Daru Balducci The Arab What is the challenge? How does the character respond? What is the consequence or result of the reaction? 4. Arrive at conclusions from the chart. 5. Write a thesis statement a. The controlling idea behind the entire essay b. Must contain key word from the question, be clear and concise c. Must be a general comment about human nature Sample Chart Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Question: The Literature: Possible thesis statement: _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ 6. Preliminary Outline On your chart determine the order of your discussion (body paragraphs) by numbering the headings. 7. Writing the Introduction Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook a. This outlines the paper to come. b. It must contain at least three sentences, one of these is the thesis statement. c. It follows the format below: i. General statement about the literature ii. More specific statements that mention the title of the literature, the genre, the author, the characters to be discussed. iii. Most specific statement, the thesis statement. (Be sure to include the key word from the question.) 8. Writing Solid Paragraphs See notes on the eleven point paragraph. 9. Writing the Conclusion. a. The conclusion summarized the main points of the essay. Do not introduce new ideas in the conclusion! b. The conclusion leaves the reader feeling content and satisfied. c. It must contain at least three sentences: one of these must restate the Thesis statement (preferably the first sentence of the conclusion.) When restating the thesis, do not simply copy your thesis from the introduction. The thesis must be reworded in the conclusion. d. Avoid cliché, especially in the final sentence of your conclusion. e. The structure: i. Most specific statement, thesis restated ii. More specific statement that restates the title(s) of the literature, the genre, the author, and the characters discussed. iii. General statement about the topic. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Essay Template Introduction General Statement about the topic More specific statement mentioning title, author, genre, and characters Most specific statement: thesis statement Body Paragraph 1 Topic Sentence Supporting Statement 1 Reference 1 Comment 1 Supporting Statement 2 Reference 2 Comment 2 Supporting Statement 3 Reference 3 Comment 3 Closing Statement Body Paragraph 2 Topic Sentence Supporting Statement 1 Reference 1 Comment 1 Supporting Statement 2 Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Reference 2 Comment 2 Supporting Statement 3 Reference 3 Comment 3 Closing Statement Body Paragraph 3 Topic Sentence Supporting Statement 1 Reference 1 Comment 1 Supporting Statement 2 Reference 2 Comment 2 Supporting Statement 3 Reference 3 Comment 3 Closing Statement Conclusion Most specific statement – thesis restated More specific statement that restates title, author, genre, characters General Statement about the topic Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook English Language Arts 30–1 Diploma Examination Part A: Written Response Blueprint CrossReference to Program of Studies Proportion of Total Examination Mark Description of Writing Assignment Reporting Category (Scoring Criteria) Reporting Category Section The Personal Response to Texts Assignment requires the student to respond personally, critically, and/or creatively to the content and contexts of a variety of texts while exploring ideas and impressions that the student may also consider in the Critical / Analytical Response to Literary Texts Assignment. Ideas and Impressions The student is required to reflect on and explore ideas and impressions prompted by the texts and the topic. 2.1 2.2 2.3 4.1 10% Presentation The student is required to select an appropriate and effective prose form to convey impressions, to explore ideas, and to create a unifying effect and effective voice. The student is required to communicate clearly. 3.1 3.2 4.1 4.2 10% The Critical / Analytical Response to Literary Texts Assignment sets a specific writing topic but allows the student to choose relevant literary text(s) and a method of development, and to select supporting details from the chosen literary text(s). The Critical / Analytical Response to Literary Texts Assignment requires the student to understand literal and implied meanings in the chosen text(s) and to synthesize thoughts clearly and express ideas effectively and correctly in writing. Thought and Understanding The student is required to address the topic by demonstrating an understanding of the ideas developed by the text creator(s) and by analyzing and explaining the personality traits, roles, relationships, motivations, attitudes, and values of characters developed and presented in literary text(s). 2.1 2.2 4.1 4.2 7.5% Supporting Evidence The student is required to present relevant support and evidence from a literary text (or texts) to support ideas. Significant appropriate evidence skillfully used is required to create an effective and convincing response. 2.3 3.2 4.1 4.2 7.5% Form and Structure The student is required to develop a coherent, unified composition by choosing an appropriate method to create a unified effect. A controlling idea may be implicit or explicit within the composition. 2.2 3.1 4.1 4.2 5% Matters of Choice The student is required to demonstrate a repertoire of stylistic choices and vocabulary in a deliberate, precise, and controlled manner. 4.2 5% 20% 30% Matters of Correctness The student is required to write clearly and correctly, appropriately applying the conventions for written language. Proportion of Total Examination Mark Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook 4.2 5% 50% 50% Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook STYLE – Improving Your Sentences Here are a few ways to improve the structure sentences (and consequently your assignment and essay marks). Use Parallel Construction. All sentence elements are alike in importance and form: Poor: Improved: Jack likes swimming, biking, and to run. Jack likes swimming, biking and running. Poor: Improved: It was both a long ceremony and very tedious. The ceremony was both long and tedious. Avoid Wordiness. Be careful when you use descriptive words. Be comfortable using them – as you would in usual speech. Don’t use the thesaurus thinking that all synonymous words are exact in meaning. Use Specific, Concrete Language. Avoid general, vague and abstract language. Poor: Improved: A period of unfavorable whether set in. It rained everyday for a week. Omit Needless Words. Strong writing is concise and to the point. Poor: Improved: The reason why he lost is because he was injured. He lost because he was injured. Poor: Improved: She cleaned up in a hasty manner. She cleaned up hastily. Put Statements in Positive Form. Make definite assertions and avoid hesitant, non-committal language. Poor: Improved: She was not very often on time. She was always late. Poor: Improved: He did not think that studying Latin good use of one’s time. He thought the study of Latin was a waste of time. Use the Active Voice. The active voice is more direct and assertive than the passive voice. (Passive voice has something happening to the subject rather than in the active voice where the subject acts.) Passive: My early years will always be cherished by me. Passive: My early years will always be remembered. (Indefinite subject) Active: I will always cherish my early years. Passive: The trees could be seen from the hills. Active: We could see the trees from the hills. Avoid Fragments and Run-ons Partial or fragmented sentences are distracting and structurally wrong. A sentence fragment does not express a complete thought as it lacks either a subject or a verb. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook A run-on sentence combines two or more sentences by using a comma – or no punctuation – instead of a period, semicolon or conjunction. Use Pronouns Correctly Incorrect use of pronouns confuses the read. The most common pronoun errors: Ambiguous Reference Implied Reference Buried Reference Double Reference Use Quotations Correctly A quotation indicates that you are recording what someone has stated or you are taking material directly from a particular source. A direct quotation is set off from the rest of the sentence by commas, question mark or exclamation point. Commas and periods are always placed within the quotation marks. “I’m happy,” said Mary, “that you are here.” The books you are reading are called “escapist fiction” that have little literary value, but are great to read for fun. 1. In summaries, keep to one tense. In summarizing or analyzing a piece of literature you should always use the present tense. Overhearing Claudius’s confession, Hamlet decides to wait for revenge. If he kills Claudius at this point, the king, unburdened by sin, would go to heaven. Hamlet decides to wait until Claudius commits “some vile act” that would send him to hell or purgatory. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook WRITING IMPROVE YOUR STYLE BY VARYING SENTENCE PATTERNS 1. Begin with the subject. The sea is a whole world unto itself 2. Begin with a prepositional phrase. In the past, the treasures of the sea were thought to be limitless. 3. Begin with an adverb. Slowly, the sea reveals its secrets to us. 4. Begin with a gerund. Swimming in the Mediterranean is like bathing in a large turquoise tub. 5. Begin with an infinitive phrase. To protect our future on this earth we must protect ocean life as well 6. Begin with a present participle phrase. Skimming the choppy surface, pelicans search hungrily for their evening meal 7. Begin with a past participle phrase. Satisfied with the day's catch, the sun-parched fisherman turned his boat toward shore. 8. Begin with an adverbial clause. Whenever man sails away from his homeland he is inevitably caught by the romance of the sea. 9. Use an appositive. The Pacific, the largest body of water on the planet, touches the shores of SIX continents. 10. Ask a question. Who wouldn't want to sail off to a tropical island? 11. Use an exclamation. Beware the fury of an Atlantic storm! 12. Use conversation. The captain warned, "All those with queasy stomachs should stay by the rail" Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook WRITING IMPROVING SENTENCE STYLE Select one of your papers and follow these instructions. 1. What styles of sentences can you find? List number of loose, balanced, parallel, and periodic sentences. If you have no sentences of one of these types in your paper, re-cast some sentences in that style. 2. How long are your sentences? Count words in the paper, count sentences, and divide to arrive at average length. 3. Find your longest sentence. What is the length of the sentence before it? If that long sentence is not either preceded or followed by a short sentence, change one of them to a short sentence. 4. What forms are your sentences? Count simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex. 5. Count number of “to be” verbs. Find three that can better be expressed as action verbs and re-cast the sentences that way. 6. Count parallel constructions. If fewer than three in paper re-cast three sentences so they contain parallel elements. 7. How do your sentences begin? List subject, adverb, prepositional phrase, gerund, subordinate clause, verb, infinitive, conjunction, absolute. If more than half your sentences begin with the subject, re-cast ten sentences in a way that varies beginning. 8. Check your comma use by applying these four rules: Use a comma before and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet, and still when those words join independent clauses. Use a comma between all terms in a series. Use a comma to set off parenthetical openers and afterthoughts. Use two commas to enclose parenthetical insertions. 9. Have you used any semicolons? If not, find a sentence or a pair of sentences that would be better punctuated with a semicolon and re-cast. 10. Have you used any dashes? If not, find a sentence that would improve with a dash and re-cast. 11. Have you inverted any sentence? If not, re-cast one. 12. Find all which clauses and re-cast half of them to eliminate which. 13. Underline of, in, to, by, and who wherever they occur. Re-cast to eliminate as many as possible. 14. Find any nouns used as adjectives and eliminate any not conventionally used this way. 15. Find all instances of there is or there are and eliminate as many as possible. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook WRITING INTEGRATING QUOTATIONS 1. Short quotations (one sentence or less) should be integrated into sentences with minimum disruption to the flow of the essay. The quotation should be smoothly integrated with the text and should be commented on: Romeo reveals his desire and impatience when he says. “0, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?" This rash comment is typical of the haste that will later lead to his sudden, impetuous choice of suicide. 2. Avoid having two quotations in a row. If you must have two, use your own commentary to bridge the two. Ineffective: Richard Cory had everything going for him. "He was a gentleman from sole to crown." "He was rich - yes richer than a king." Effective: Richard Cory had everything going for him. Not only was he a "gentleman from sole to crown, but he was also "richer than a king." 3. Longer quotations should be indented and single-spaced. Page numbers (for fiction or essays) or line numbers (for poetry or verse drama) should be given. For example, in an essay on Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, you might quote a stanza to focus a discussion on some aspect of the poem: The last stanza suggests the seductiveness of the woods - of "dropping out" of human society: The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. (13-16) However, the poet is aware of promises he has made - responsibilities and social obligations which necessitate his leaving the woods. 4. Separate lines of poetry running within your sentences with a slash (/), and preserve the capitalization of words at the beginning of the line. The speaker notes that the bruised heart of the mourner wonders" was it He that bore,/ And Yesterday, or Centuries before?" 5. If for the clarity of sentence structure, you must alter a quotation, place the alteration in square brackets. Goodman Brown claims that "with Heaven above and Faith below [he] will yet stand firm against the devil." 6. If you omit material in order to be succinct, mark the omission with three periods, called ellipsis. Monstresor tells us that when it comes to "painting and gemmary, Fortunato. . . was a quack." 7. Most quotations should be no more than one line long. Do not overuse quotations as it becomes less your work and more the work of someone else. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook To add ideas To show time To show place Additionally, also, again, along with, and another way, as well, besides, furthermore, In addition, likewise, moreover, next, second similarly, third, together with , too About, a little later, after, afterward, as soon as, at first, at the end of, at the start of, before, during, finally, in those days, immediately, in the meantime, later in the day, meanwhile, next, next week, now, prior to , then, this year, today, tomorrow, until, when, while, yesterday Above, across, against, along, alongside, amid, among, around, away from, behind, beneath, beside, between, beyond, by, down, farther, away, here, in front of, inside, in the distant, in the foreground, into, near, off, on the left, on the right, on top of, outside, over, overhead, there, throughout, under, underneath, To show order Afterward, as a result, consequently, finally, first, for this reason, hence, in conclusion, in the second place, in short, in summary, last, next, second, therefore, to begin with, to conclude, to sum up To contrast ideas Although, as proposed, but, conversely, counter to, even so, however, in contrast, nevertheless, no doubt, on the contrary, on the other hand, otherwise, still, whereas, yet To compare ideas Again, also, and, as, in the same way, likewise, similarly To show results Accordingly, as a result, consequently, for this reason, generally, hence, specifically, therefore, thus, to clarify, to emphasize, to repeat, usually To introduce illustrations Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Common Writing Problems The following instructions explain and clarify some of today’s most common writing problems. Troublesome Words Its the possessive form of ‘it’. Something belongs to ‘it.’ It is the opposite of the normal possession rule which uses apostrophe to show possession. Ex: Its dog house is in the backyard. it’s contraction form of ‘it is’ It’s time to leave. Where a location Where is the book? Were a state of being verb, indicates past tense We were going to leave, but the car would not start. We’re contraction form of ‘we are’ We’re ready to leave. There a location The book is there. Their A possessive pronoun, this word shows that something belongs to a group. Their books are still in the classroom. They’re contraction form of ‘they are’ They’re going to leave when the bags are packed. To a preposition, clarifies a direction She ran to the store. Too an adjective, expresses an overabundance She ate too much candy. Two a number I bought two horses. Your a possessive pronoun, showing that something belongs to someone That is your book. You’re contraction form of ‘you are’ You’re going to the park. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Hear the act of listening I can hear the teacher talking. Here a location The book is over here. Problems to Avoid But/And Do not start sentences with ‘and’ or ‘but’. Instead of ‘but’ you can use ‘however.’ Towards Amongst The word is toward. There is no ‘s’ on the end. She ran toward the store. The word is among. There is no ‘st’ on the end. Alot The word alot is in fact two words – a lot. Alright The word alright is, in fact, two words, all right. Affect to have an influence The speaker’s message had an affect on me. Effect (noun) result: The lights gave a pretty effect. (verb) to cause to happen: We waited until the sedative had taken effect. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Four Types of Sentences Four types of sentences: If students are writing sentences that do not fit into one of these categories, they are writing incorrect sentences. It is much easier to help students identify and correct incorrect sentences if they know the structure of the four types of correct sentences. 1. Simple Sentences: They have a verb (predicate) and a noun (subject) performing the action of the verb. A simple sentence can also be called an independent clause. Example: His friends went swimming. noun 2. verb Compound Sentences: They are two simple sentences combined with a comma and a coordinating conjunction. A few examples of coordinating conjunctions are: “and”, “but”, “or”, “so”, and “because”. Example: His friends went swimming, but he decided to go jogging. simple sentence 3. simple sentence Complex Sentences: Complex sentences contain one independent clause and one or more dependent clauses. An independent clause is the same as a simple sentence. A dependent clause is simply an independent clause that has a subordinate conjunction attached. A few examples of subordinate conjunctions are: although, since, when, and if. Example: Although his friends went swimming, he decided to go jogging. subordinating conjunction = dependent clause 4. independent clause Complex – Compound Sentences: They are sentences that consist of a complex sentence joined with another simple sentence using a coordinating conjunction such as “and”, “but”, or “because”. Example: Although his friends went swimming, he decided to go jogging, and no one missed him. complex sentence simple sentence Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Three Types of Sentence Errors Sentence Errors – These are the three main sentence errors. Knowledge of the four types of sentences makes it easy to avoid these errors, and this knowledge also makes it easy to correct them. Sentence Fragments: A sentence fragment is an incomplete sentence. They are usually either phrases or dependent clauses. Both need more words to complete the sentence correctly. A phrase is a group of words without a noun (subject), or without a verb (predicate), or without either. Examples: Went swimming. v Decided to go jogging. v His friends. n To correct these phrases, either add a noun (that is the subject), or add a verb (predicate). A dependent clause is a simple sentence (also called an independent clause) that has a subordinate conjunction attached making it dependent. Examples: Although his friends went swimming. sub. conj. + independent clause When he decided to go jogging. sub. conj. + independent clause To correct these subordinate clauses, add an independent clause. Comma Splice: A comma splice occurs when two or more sentences – whether they be simple sentences, compound sentences, complex sentences, or compound-complex sentences – are joined with only commas. Thus, two simple sentences joined by only a comma would fit into this category. Example: His friends went swimming, he decided to go jogging. simple sentence cs simple sentence Example: Although his friends went swimming, he decided to go jogging, no one missed him. complex sentence cs simple sentence There are three ways to correct this error: separate the sentences with a period; add a coordinating conjunction (e.g., and, but, because) after the comma; replace the comma with a semicolon if the main ideas of the two sentences are closely connected or related. Fused Sentence: A fused sentence occurs when two or more sentences – whether they be simple sentences, compound sentences, complex sentences, or compound-complex sentences – are joined without any punctuation at all. Example: His friends went swimming he decided to go jogging. simple sentence fs simple sentence There are three ways to correct this error: separate the sentences with a period; add a coordinating conjunction (e.g., and, but, because) after the comma: replace the comma with a semicolon if the main ideas of the two sentences are closely connected or related. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook APPENDIX Section #1 Sentence Structure Parts of Speech Noun Common nouns refer to a general class of persons, places, or things and are not capitalized e.g., railroad, car, girl Proper nouns refer to a particular member of a class and are capitalized. e.g., the Bible, Ford Mustang, Jim Verb a) Actions Verbs indicate visible or unseen action. e.g., Allan played basketball The verb ‘played’ expresses an action the person is doing. b) Linking Verbs state that something exists. They express a state of being. e.g., The rock fell on his feet. The verb ‘fell’ expresses an occurrence e.g., Linda was happy. The verb ‘was’ is a state of being which expresses the existence of a person or an object. Other state of being verbs include: am, is, are, were, be, been, being, appeared, seem, taste, is, look, was, were, have, has been, stay, remain, feel, sound, smell, become, am, are, is, were, be, been, being, and appear. c) Transitive Verbs are verbs that have direct objects that receive their action. e.g., Dave met the mayor. The direct object, mayor, completes the meaning of the verb met. e.g., The officer wore, several medals. The direct object medals, completes the meaning of the verb wore. d) Intransitive Verbs are those that do not have direct objects receiving their action. e.g., The winners rejoiced. e.g., Steve rested under a tree. In the second sentence, the words following the verb modify it; they do not receive the action on the verb. Verb Tense: verbs can also tell when an action or state of being occurs. a) present tense: I paint or she watches b) past tense: I will paint or she watched. c) future tense: I will paint or she will watch. d) present perfect tense: I have painted or she has watched. e) past perfect tense: I had painted or she had watched. f) future perfect tense: I will have painted or she will have watched. Adverb Adverbs modify verbs, adverbs, and adjectives. An adverb tells where, when, how, or how much. Many adverbs end in ‘ly’. E.g., quickly quietly, soon, now, sometimes, very, too, yesterday, there. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Adjectives Adjectives modify nouns and other adjectives. Modifying means describing. Qualifying is telling something about another about another word. An adjective answers questions like ‘how many’ and ‘what kind’. e.g., Wild flowers are most beautiful in April. Pronoun A noun that stands for another noun. It takes its place. Examples: I, we, you, he, she, it, they, me, us, him, her, it, them, my, mine, our, ours, your, yours, his, her, its, there, theirs. a) personal pronouns refer to a person: I, me, mine, you, he, we, yours, them. They are the largest class of pronouns. b) Interrogative pronouns are those that are used to ask questions: who, whom, whose, which, what. c) possessive pronouns show possession: its, your, their, and whose. d) Indefinite pronouns are those that do not refer to a definite person or thing: another, each, everything, one, either. e) the antecedent of a pronoun is the noun that it replaces; often it comes before the pronoun: The tractor is green. It harvests the wheat. It is the pronoun, while tractor is the antecedent. Preposition Is a word that is placed in front of a noun and shows the relationship of this noun to other words in the sentence. e.g., She went into the river. e.g., about, above, across, after, against, along, among, around, as, at, before, behind, beneath, beside, between, by despite, during, for, from, in, into, like, near, of, off, on, onto, over, through, to, together, toward, under, underneath, until, up, upon, with, within. Interjection An interjection is a brief, remark that is frequently followed by an exclamation point. When it is a part of a sentence, the interjection is often set off by a comma. e.g., “Shucks! I misses the lottery again.” e.g., “Well, you can always buy more tickets next week.” Conjunction A conjunction is a part of speech that shows relationships between parts of a sentence; it connects words or groups of words. e.g., Kent wrote and narrated the skits. My typing is fast but sloppy. We will take the train or the bus. Hot oatmeal is not only nutritious, but also economical. a) Coordinating conjunctions are used to connect single words or groups of words of the same kind. The most common are and, but, and or. Cars and trucks often have different speed limits. (compound subject). The skater tripped and fell. (compound verb). Sue looked at the tire, but couldn’t find the leak. (compound predicate). The candidate appeared realistic but hopeful. (compound predicate words). In June or July we will take our vacation. (compound objects of a preposition). b) Correlative conjunctions join similar words or groups of words and are always used in pairs. e.g., both…and, not only…but also, either…or, whether…or, neither…nor. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Both oak and walnut are used for furniture. I am neither tired nor hungry. The cafeteria serves not only lunch but also breakfast. c) Subordinating conjunctions are words that subordinate, or make dependent, the words they introduce. Subordinate clauses are also called dependent clauses because they can not stand alone in a sentence. e.g., after, because, so that, since, until, as if, although, as, along as, as though, before, if, in order that, provided, than, though, till, unless, until, when, whenever, where, wherever, while. e.g., When she fell off her bike, Carla broke her leg. The subordinate clause is, when she fell off her bike and the subordinating conjunction is when. e.g., Carla broke her leg when she fell off her bike. Verbs a) An infinitive is a verb that begins with the word to. e.g., to write, to shout, to remind. b) A gerund is a verb that functions as a noun. They end in ing. e.g., draw (v) = drawing (n). c) A participle is a verb form that functions as an adjective. It modifies either a noun or a pronoun. e.g., Whistling, he made his way home through the snow. Sentence Construction Parts of a sentence a) A phrase is a part of a sentence that does not have a subject and a verb. e.g., before the gold rush. e.g., to cut the grass. Prepositional phrases consist of a preposition, its object, and any modifiers of the object. e.g., Zack politely asked for a refund. Adjective phrases are prepositional phrases that modify nouns. e.g., The school needs a new coach for the track team. Adverb phrases are prepositional phrases that modify verbs. e.g., The bottles are sealed by a huge machine. b) A clause is a group of words containing a verb and its subject. As a result, a clause can also be a simple sentence. e.g., Keith ran in the marathon. c) A main (or independent) clause can stand by itself as a sentence. e.g. I enjoy school. d) A subordinate (or dependent) clause can not stand alone. An independent clause becomes a dependent or subordinate clause, when a subordinating conjunction is added. (refer to the list of subordinating conjunctions in the previous section) e.g., If I enjoy school….. e.g., Before the gate closes… These clauses need more to complete the thought. Subject and predicate Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook The basic rule of writing correct sentences is that every sentence must have a verb (predicate), and then all verbs must have noun (subject) to perform the action of the verb. Complete sentences must be punctuated in one of three ways: 1) a full stop (period, question mark, exclamation mark) 2) a semi colon 3) a comma followed by a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor) Sentence Patterns The most basic type of a sentence has a subject and a verb. The subject is either a noun(n) or pronoun(pn). a) In a pattern one sentence either the noun (n) or the verb (v) can be compound. e.g., Fashions (n) change (v). e.g., The white cat (n) yawned and stretched (v). b) In a pattern two sentence, the n or pn that follows the v is a direct object. (do) e.g., The manager (n) opened (v) the store (n/do). c) In a pattern three sentences two nouns follow the verb; the first is an indirect object (io) while the second is a direct object (do). e.g., Steve (n) slipped (v) me (n/io) a note (n/do). d) In a pattern four sentence the verb is a linking verb (lv). The noun that follows it is a predicate noun. (or predicate pronoun). e.g., The experiment (n) was (lv) a success (n). e.g., The mysterious caller (n) is (lv) I (n). e) In a pattern five sentence there is a linking verb that is followed by a predicate adjective (adj.) e.g., The gears (n) seem (lv) stiff (adj). e.g., Ice hockey (n) is (lv) rough and fast(adj.) Faulty Agreement Faulty agreement occurs when a subject does not agree with its verb. A singular noun requires a singular verb. Problems usually arise when the subject is separated from the verb by a number of other words. Faulty agreement: The percentage of correct responses as well as the speed of the responses increase with practice. Correction: The percentage of correct responses as well as the speed of the responses increases with practice. Faulty Reference of Pronouns Many writers encounter this problem with pronouns such as ‘everyone’ , ‘someone’, ‘anyone’, etc. These pronouns are singular and require singular possessive adjectives. faulty reference: Everyone must bring their books to class tomorrow. correction: Everyone must bring his books to class tomorrow. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Another major source of difficulty is the use of pronouns that have no specific antecedent in the sentence. faulty reference: Napoleon could not tolerate the Russian writer, which prevented him from defeating the Russians correction: Napoleon could not stand the Russian winter, a problem that prevented him from defeating the Russians. Dangling Modifiers A dangling modifier has no referent in the sentence. The writer must add to the sentence the word that the phrase refers to, or put the phrase next to that word if it is not already in the sentence. Another solution is to always speak in the active voice. dangling: While crossing the street at the crosswalk, the car barely missed the pedestrian. correction: While the pedestrian was crossing the street at the crosswalk, the car barely missed him. dangling: After separating the subjects into groups, Group A was tested. correction: After separating the subjects into groups, I tested Group A. dangling: To show this illustration, the audience were divided into two groups. correction: To show this illustration, we divided the audience into two groups Misplaced Modifiers This problem occurs when adjectives or adverbs, or adjective or adverb phrases are not clearly placed next to the word they modify. The difficulty is eliminated by making sure such modifiers are placed as close as possible to the word they modify. The word ‘only’ is a particular problem. misplaced modifiers: He marked the exams that the students had written all night. correction: All night he marked the exams that the students had written. misplaced modifiers: Sally only likes to cook with cast iron pots. correction: Sally likes to cook only with cast iron pots. misplaced modifiers: The investigator tested the subjects using this procedure. correction: Using this procedure, the investigator tested the subjects. Faulty Parallelism Parallelism is a device which involves the repetition of the same grammatical structure. A writer must repeat the same grammatical structure of either side of a co-ordinate conjunction (and, but, or, nor), and after each part of a correlative conjunction (not only…but also, either…or, whether…or). Faulty Parallelism: She not only practiced the violin but also the organ. Correction: She practiced not only the violin but also the organ. Faulty Parallelism: Joseph earned his money by tutoring, taking out garbage and squash lessons. Correction: Joseph earned his money by tutoring, taking out garbage and giving squash lessons. Faulty Parallelism: The results showed that such changes could be made without affecting error rate, and latencies continued to decrease over time. Correction: The results showed that such changes could be made without affecting error rate, and that latencies continued to decrease over time. Faulty Parallelism: The names were both difficult to pronounce and spell. Correction: The names were both difficult to pronounce and to spell. Verb and style Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Use the active voice poor: The experiment was designed by Gould (1970) better: Gould (1970) designed the experiment. poor: It is the author’s opinion that feudalism was an abusive system. better: Feudalism was an abusive system. poor: One would assert that this abuse was due, in part, to the fact that the landlords treated their laborers much like slaves. better: This abuse was due, in part, to the fact that the landlords treated their laborers much like slaves. Section #2 Punctuation Comma A comma makes the reader pause slighty. 1. Use a comma after a long introductory phrase or clause: After stealing the crown jewels from the Tower of London, I went home for tea. 2. If the sentence is confusing without the comma, put it in. Confusing: The day before I robbed the Bank of England. Clear: The day before, I robbed the Bank of England. 3. Use a comma to separate the items in a series: I robbed the Ottawa mint, the Bank of England, Fort Knox, and my wallet. 4. Use a comma to separate independent clauses that are joined by co-ordinate conjunctions and, but, or and nor: I shall return the crown jewels, but I’ll keep the gold from Fort Knox. 5. Use a comma to address a person directly: Matthew, please hand me that book. 6. Use a comma for all appositives (an appositive is a noun or noun phrase that identifies or describes another noun): Montague Sneed, director of R.C.M.P., was assigned to the case. The criminal, a wily fellow, would be hard to catch. 7. Use a comma to separate the elements of a geographical address and dates.: Mr. Sneed has been living in Ottawa, Ontario since January 15, 1998. 8. Use a comma to set off a parenthetical group of words (a clause) that is not essential to the sentence (it is called a nonrestrictive clause because it is not essential to the sentence): Girls, who have always interested me, are different from boys. The writer must put a comma both before and after any parenthetical word or phrase. 9. Do not use a comma before an essential restrictive clause. It is a clause that identifies, limits, or defines words that it modifies. e.g., The switch that stops the recording device also controls the light. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Semi colon The semi colon is grammatically equivalent to a period or full stop. It separates two independent statements that would be complete sentences if they stood alone, but it keeps those statements more tightly linked than a period would. Use a semi colon between two related independent clauses that are not joined by a co-ordinate conjunction: I steal crown jewels from wherever a king will leave them; she steals hearts. Also use the semicolon to separate elements that already contain commas: e.g., The color was red, white, blue; blue, white, red; or white, red, blue. Colon The colon introduces a list, along quotation, a definition or an explanation: He had several shortcomings: laziness, slovenliness, lack of talent and a short temper. He had a simple definition for poetry: words arranged according to their sound. If the final clause is a complete sentence, it begins with a capital letter: e.g., They have agreed on the outcome; Informed subjects perform better than do uniformed subjects. Apostrophe Use an apostrophe to indicate possession. If the noun is singular, add an ‘s’; I loved Mom’s pie. Follow this rule, even if the noun ends with an ‘s’.: The water goes right up to the glass’s rim. Or. That is Gus’s book. However, it is generally preferable to drop the final ‘s’ with names that have acquired a `certain prominence over the years: Dickens’ books, Jesus’ life.If the noun is plural, add the apostrophe after the ‘s’. Those are girls’ coats. We love to swim in the Rupps’ pool. Use an apostrophe to indicate contractions; that is, show the omission of letters when two words are joined: we’re (we are), they’re (they are), isn’t (is not) Quotation Marks Quotation marks are used to punctuate direct speech or material quoted from another source. 1. Use commas with a verb of speaking both before and after a quotation. 2. Whenever you change speakers, you must begin a new paragraph. 3. Sentences within quotation marks must be correctly punctuated. Then director Sneed remarked, “I know who the murderer is and I think I can catch him. In fact, I am certain that the one who did it is sitting right in this room.” “You can’t prove a thing,” the villain remarked, “ unless you have hard evidence. You won’t find it.” Dash Punctuation within a sentence marks a pause in the thought; different kinds of punctuation indicate different kinds and lengths of pauses. Use the dash to indicate only a sudden interruption in the continuity of a sentence. Overuse weakens the flow of material. The two new students – one from Edmonton, one from Calgary – were of equal intelligence. Parentheses Use parentheses: 1. To set off structurally independent elements. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook e.g., The patterns were significant (see figure 5). e.g., (When a complete sentence is enclosed in parenthesis, place punctuation in the sentence, like this.) If only part of a sentence is enclosed in parentheses (like this), place punctuation outside the parentheses (like this). 2. To set off reference citations in text. e.g., Smith and Jones (1983) reported… e.g., However, this is fully described elsewhere (James and Nelson, 1980) 3. To introduce an abbreviation e.g., The effect on galvanic skin response (GSR)…. 4. To set off letters that identify items in a series. e.g., The three measures were (a)….., (b)…., and Capitalization (c)….. Names Places Streets Cities Countries Rivers First Word of Sentence Book titles Poetry titles Businesses Names Section #3 Style Transition Words Transition words help maintain the flow of thought and continuity of your writing. There are many types: 1) Use a pronoun that refers to a noun in the preceding sentence. This serves as a transition word and helps avoid repetition. e.g., The house was larger than most mansions I have ever seen. It was very impressive indeed. 2) Use time links as transitions. e.g., then, next, after, while, since He ran around the oval track. Then he swiftly ascended the stadium stands in celebration. 3) Use cause effect links as transitions. e.g., therefore, consequently, as a result The time was one minute faster than his previous time. As a result, he won the meet. 4) Use addition links as transitions. e.g., in addition, moreover, furthermore, similarly Cartier found the Canadian winters harsh and unrelenting. Similarly, Chaplain lost many of his men to scurvy and other illnesses associated with the conditions created by cold weather. (A phrase can also by use: in a similar manner, Champlain lost…. 5) Use contrast links as transitions. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook e.g., however, but , conversely, nevertheless, although, whereas I always enjoy her stimulating lectures. However, my colleagues found her dull and pretentious. Sentence Variation There are 4 types of sentences: simple, compound, complex, and complex compound It is important to vary the types of sentences used in any paragraph. While there are no strict rules, it is generally advisable to vary sentences to improve the style of any body of writing. Tense Avoid switching tense in formal essay writing as a means to avoid abruptness and confusion. She walks up the step quietly. Then I told her to watch out or she might have fell. Contractions Avoid using contractions (don’t for do not) in formal essay writing. Synonyms By using too many synonyms in an effort to create smooth expression, the writer may create confusion regarding meaning. Economy of Expression Avoid overly long pieces of writing by eliminating redundancy, wordiness, jargon, evasiveness, circumlocution, and clumsiness. Also weed out overly detailed descriptions that may not be necessary. Eliminating clichés Clichés are overused expressions such as ”light as a feather” or “cool as cucumber”. Avoid using clichés because they have been used so often that many have lost their impact and clarity. Paragraph construction A paragraph should have it’s first line indented. All of the ideas in a paragraph should relate to the first sentence, which is called the topic sentence. Topic sentences Topic sentences should focus on the main idea of a paragraph and they should also promote interest in what is to come. Three ways to promote interest in what is to come. Three ways to promote interest in a topic sentence are to: a) ask a rhetorical question, b) state an interesting fact, or c) state alarming statistics. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Citing Works When you write your essay for me, I will expect you to use quotations from the novel and to cite those references. Tell me where you found your quote: what book and what page. Below , highlighted in blue will be the example of house your endote or footnote citation should read. QUOTATIONS, FOOTNOTES, AND BIBLIOGRAPHY IN ESSAYS 1. QUOTATIONS Follow the directions below when quoting materials in your essays: 1. SHORT PROSE QUOTATIONS: These are incorporated in the body of your text and are enclosed in quotation marks. Example: Milton makes this point perfectly clear when he says, “I cannot praise a fugitive and cloistered virtue, unexercised and unbreathed, that never sallies out and sees her adversary . . . . “1 (To insert a quotation number, click on “Insert”. “footnote” and choose either endnote or footnote – your choice. Then click “okay”. If you want numbers instead of letters for endnotes, click on custom mark.) 2. LONGER PROSE QUOTATIONS: If a quotation is more than three lines in length, it is set off from the text in a separate paragraph, or paragraphs, by single spacing and by indenting five spaces from the margin. No quotation marks are used. Example: Milton not only believes that readers should have freedom of choice in selecting books, but he also fears that learning will be endangered by any type of censorship. On the latter point he writes: Seeing therefore that those books, and those in great abundance, which are likeliest to taint both life and doctrine, cannot be suppressed without the fall of learning, and of all ability in disputation . . . and that evil manners are as perfectly learnt without books a thousand other ways which cannot be stopped . . . I am not able to unfold how this cautelous enterprise of licensing 2 can be exempted from the number of vain and impossible attempts. 3. SHORT QUOTATIONS FROM POEMS In quoting one line only or part of a poetic line, place the quotation in quotation marks within the body of your text, as below. Examples: (a) Milton brings us to Satan slowly. At first we see only "his baleful eyes" glowing in the "darkness visible" of nethermost Hell. (b) In one of his poems Pope gives a good definition of onomatopoeia: "The sound must seem an Echo to the sense." 4. LONGER QUOTATIONS FROM POEMS- Where the quotation is more than one line, set it apart from your text, single-space, indent as below. No quotation marks are used. Example Among lyric poets Herrick is one of the most attractive. A good example of his gentle, pleasing spontaneity is the little poem addressed to Mistress Susanna Southwell: Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Her pretty feet Like snails did creep A little out, and then, As if they started at bo-peep, Did soon draw in again. 5. OMISSIONS: Quotations must at all times be accurate. If only a portion of a sentence is quoted, omissions must be indicated by the use of three spaced dots. If the omission occurs at the end of a sentence, four dots are used -the last dot being the final period in the text. When two or three words only are quoted, as in (3) above, omission dots are not to be used. Examples: (a) Let us consider what Professor Wood has said about the Spenserian stanza: None but a born poet could have forged this instrument and used it with success. It combines lyrical sweetness with epic sweep. Each stanza is set off as a metrical unit with a rich and complex music that is . . . varied continually. 1 (b) We gain an impression of what his eighteenth-century contemporaries thought of the notorious and impudent Sir Francis Chartres when we learn that even his epitaph begins: "Here continueth to rot the body of Francis Chartres . . . “ Footnotes or endnotes Until 1984 the Modem Language Association's MLA Handbook recommended footnotes or endnotes instead of in-text citations. Although the current (1988) MLA Handbook treats in-text citations as its preferred style (see D3-a), it also lists the traditional notes as an acceptable alternative. Notes provide complete publishing information, either at the bottom of the page (footnotes) or at the end of the paper (endnotes). A raised arabic numeral in the text indicates that a quotation, paraphrase, or summary has been borrowed from a source; to find the publishing information for that source, readers consult the footnote or endnote with the corresponding number. Notes are numbered consecutively throughout the paper. TEXT For instance, Lana once described a cucumber as "banana which-is green." 9 NOTE 9 Flora Davis, Eloquent Animals: A Study in Animal Communication (New York: Coward, 1978) 300. The first time you cite a source in your paper, the note should include the full publication information for that work as well as the page number of the specific quotation, paraphrase, or summary. The following examples cover the formats that are most frequently encountered. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook BASIC FORMAT FOR A BOOK Eugene Linden, Silent Partners: The Legacy of the Ape Language Experiments (New York: Random, 1986) 87. TWO OR MORE AUTHORS 2 Alain Gagnon and Mary Beth Montcalm, Quebec: Beyond the Quiet Revolution (Scarborough: Nelson Canada, 1989) 108. EDITOR OR TRANSLATOR 3 Albert Camus, Lyrical and Critical Essays, trans. Ellen Conroy Kennedy, ed. Philip Thody (New York: Knopf, 1968) 8. UNKNOWN AUTHOR 4 The New Canadian Oxford Atlas (Toronto: Oxford University Press, 1977) 95. EDITION OTHER THAN THE FIRST 5 Graham Parker, An Introduction to Criminal Law, 3rd ed. (Scarborough: Nelson Canada, 1987) 78. MULTIVOLUME WORK 6 Robert Graves, The Greek Myths, vol. 2 (New York: Braziller, 1967) 216. WORK IN AN ANTHOLOGY 7 M. H. Abrams, "English Romanticism: The Spirit of the Age," Romanticism Reconsidered. ed. Northrop Frye (New York: Columbia UP, 1-963) 64. ENCYCLOPEDIA OR DICTIONARY a Mark S. Frankel, "Human Experimentation: Social and Professional Control," Encyclopedia of Bioethics, 1978 ed~ Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Subsequent References When at some later point in an essay you cite something else from a source already referred to, the second or subsequent footnote should not repeat all of the information, the author's last name and the relevant page number suffice: Davis, p. 82. If another footnote referring to the same source immediately precedes, then the form I Ibid., p. 80. is acceptable, but current practice favours using the author's name instead of ibid. If you are using more than one work by the same author, such subsequent references must also include at least a short version of the title of the work being cited. In an essay on Brooke which was also discussing his works of poetry, for example, a footnote might look like this: 9 Davis, Reptiles, p. 75. The following url will take you to a great site where you can read about how to properly place quotation marks and punctuation in and around your citations and ordinary quotations. http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/fr_punc.html 1 citation goes here Box 5.3 Formatting Works Cited Entries in HTML Some HTML editors don’t let you easily indent the second line of a Works Cited entry. In such instances, bullet the first line of an entry. Landsburg, Steven E. "Who Shall Inherit the Earth?" Slate 1 May 1997. 1 Oct. 1999 <http://www.slate.com/Economics/97-05-01/ Economics.asp>. Mitchell, Jason P. "PMLA Letter." Homepage. 10 May 1997. 1 Nov. 1999 <http://sunset.backbone.olemiss.edu/~jmitchel/pmla.htm>. To see how to document specific types of Web sources, refer to the examples throughout this section. Christ the Redeemer School Division Student Writing Handbook Personal site Pellegrino, Joseph. Home page. 16 Dec. 1998. 1 Oct. 1999 < http://www.english.eku.edu /pellegrino/personal.htm>. Professional site The William Faulkner Society Home Page. Ed. Mortimer, Gail. 16 Sept. 1999. William Faulkner Soc. 1 Oct. 1999 <http://www.acad.swarthmore.edu/faulkner>. NAIC Online. 29 Sept. 1999. National Association of Inventors Corporation. 1 Oct. 1999 <http://www.better-investing.org/>. U. S. Department of Education (ED) Home Page. 29 Sept. 1999. US Dept. of Education. 1 Oct. 1999 <http://www.ed.gov/index.html>. William Faulkner on the Web 7 July 1999. U of Mississippi. 20 Sept. 1999 <http://www.mcsr.olemiss.edu/~egjbp/faulkner/ faulkner.html>. Article in an electronic journal (ejournal) Joyce, Michael. "On the Birthday of the Stranger (in Memory of John Hawkes)." Evergreen Review 5 Mar. 1999. 12 May 1999 <http://www.evergreenreview.com/102/evexcite/joyce/nojoyce.html>. Wysocki, Anne Frances. "Monitoring Order: Visual Desire, the Organization of Web Pages, and Teach the Rules of Design." Kairos: A Journal for Teachers of Writing in Webbed Environments 3.2 (1998). 21 Oct. 1999 <http://english.ttu.edu/kairos/3.2/features/wysocki/mOrder0.html>. Article in an electronic magazine (ezine) Adler, Jerry. "Ghost of Everest." Newsweek 17 May 1999. 19 May 1999 <http://newsweek.com/nw-srv/issue/20_99a/printed/int/socu/ so0120_1.htm>. Newspaper article Wren, Christopher. "A Body on Mt. Everest, a Mystery Half-Solved." New York Times on the Web 5 May 1999. 13 May 1999 <http://search.nytimes.com/search/daily/bin/fastweb?getdoc+site+ site+87604+0+wAAA+%22a%7Ebody%7Eon%7Emt.%7Eeverest%22>.