Download IV Sentence Problems

Teaching Plan 4
Unit 4 Sentence Problems
Content
1. Sentence fragments
2. Choppy sentences
3. Run-together/Run-on sentences
4. Stringy sentences
5. Confusing shifts
6. Incomplete construction
7. Ambiguous pronoun reference
8. Dangling modifiers
9. Misplaced modifiers
10. Wordiness
Objectives
Students will be able to:
1. recognize the common sentence problems and try to correct them;
2. avoid writing sentences with this or that problem in their writing.
Focal points and difficulties
 Focal points: 1. Sentence fragments
2. Choppy sentences
3. Run-together sentences
4. Stringy sentences
5. Confusing shifts
6. Dangling modifier
 Difficulties: How to help Ss recognize the sentence problems in their writing and then
learn to correct them
Teaching Methods & Aids
Lecturing; Discussion; Q & A; PPT
Time Allotment (6 periods)
1st period
2nd period
3rd period
Step 1
Step 3
Step 5
Run-together sentences
Confusing shifts
Step 2
Step 4
Step 6
Choppy sentences
Stringy sentences
Incomplete construction
Sentence fragments
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4th period
5th period
6th period
Step 7
Step 8
Step 9
Ambiguous pronoun reference
Dangling modifiers
Misplaced modifiers
Step 10
Wordiness
Teaching Steps
Step 1: Sentence Fragments
1. Fragments without verbs
(Ask Ss to correct the following two sentences and then sum up the ways to correct fragments
without verbs.)
---Roger and Lester piling on at the goal line.
---A woman to be respected and even feared.
Another kind of fragment that lacks a verb looks like this:
---The girl who had told him about the concert.
(Ask Ss to try to correct it.)
2. Fragments without subjects
(Ask Ss to correct the following two sentences and then sum up the ways to correct fragments
without subjects.)
---He is an independent devil. Thinks for himself.
---Trees are important on a building site. Break the wind.
3. Fragments without subjects and/or verbs
(Ask Ss to correct the following two sentences and then sum up the ways to correct fragments
without subjects and /or verbs.)
---He sank slowly down. Exhausted. (participle)
---Determined to succeed. John tried hard. (participial phrase)
4. Fragments of dependent clauses
Example:
---Because some students have part-time jobs in addition to going to school.
(Ask Ss to correct it.)
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Note: Some fragments are occasionally permissible for special purposes. But be careful when we
are going to try some.
Practice
1. Mark the sentence fragments with F, and the complete sentences with S. The first one is done
for you.
F_ 1) The desire of all mankind to live in peace and freedom, for example.
___ 2) Second, the fact that men are physically stronger than women.
___ 3) The best movie that I saw last year.
___ 4) Star Wars was the best movie that I saw last year.
___ 5) For example, many students have part-time jobs.
…
2. Rewrite the fragments to make complete sentences in your exercise-book.
1) The leaves turning every shade of red, with gold, brown, and lingering green for contrast.
2) Dianne, who thought she had been given permission to use her book on the test.
3) Jeff to ask about rates during the off season in an attempt to save the group as much money
as possible.
4) Brenda puts a lot of pressure on her husband. Wants him to work all the time.
5) This is the most reliable lawnmower I have ever seen. Starts every time.
…
Step 2: Choppy Sentences
(Ask Ss to correct the following two sentences and then sum up the ways to correct choppy
sentences.)
---There was a knock at the door. I asked. Nobody answered.
---He found the kitchen window open. He put a ladder against the window. He climbed in.
Practice
Improve the following choppy sentences by combining them to make either compound or
complex, or simple sentences with phrasal modifiers.
1) Gasoline is becoming expensive. Automobile manufacturers are producing smaller cars.
Smaller cars use less gasoline.
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2) The computer has undoubtedly benefited humanity. The computer has also created problems
for humanity.
3) Government and private agencies have spent billions of dollars advertising the dangers of
smoking. The number of smokers is still increasing.
4) Some students go to college to get a degree. Some students go to college to get an education.
5) The grading system at our college should be abolished. The students don't like getting grades.
The instructors don’t enjoy giving grades.
Step 3: Run-together/Run-on Sentences
1. A brief introduction
Anatomy of a sentence:
Independent Clause
a clause that can stand alone syntactically as a complete sentence; it
contains at least a subject and a verb
Subordinate Clause
a clause that cannot stand alone as a sentence, but functions as either a
noun, adjective or adverb in a sentence
Coordinating Conjunction a conjunction, such as "and," "but," or "or," that joins two grammatical
elements of the same sentence or construction
In order to identify a clause, look for:
Subject
The "doer" of the sentence: He caught the ball.
Verb
What is "done": He caught the ball.
Object
What the action is "done to": He caught the ball.
2. Ask Ss to follow these three steps to find and fix run-ons:
1) Does the sentence contain more than one independent clause?
Correct: Although more commuters are using bicycles, there are still too many cars downtown.
Incorrect: I cannot remain silent any longer, the roads have become clogged with bicyclists.
2) Look for sentence boundaries; can you identify where one clause ends and the next begins
based on the subjects and verbs? Draw an imaginary line between the independent clauses.
e.g. I cannot remain silent any longer, | the roads have become clogged with bicyclists.
3) Fix the run-on in one of these ways:
Original: Getting married is easy, staying married is a different matter.
Revised:
A. Add a period.
—Getting married is easy. Staying married is a different matter.
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B. Add a semicolon.
—Getting married is easy; staying married is a different matter.
C. Add a coordinating conjunction.
—Getting married is easy, but staying married is a different matter.
D. Add a subordinating conjunction.
—Getting married is easy although staying married is a different matter.
E. Add a semicolon plus a conjunctive adverb.
—Getting married is easy; however, staying married is a different matter.
Practice
1. First read each sentence and underline all the subjects and circle all the verbs. Then determine
whether the sentence is a run-together or not and if it is a RTS, correct it.
1) Humans have been fascinated by time travel at least since the days of H. G. Wells, Einstein's
theories took the notion out of the realm of science fiction.
2) One of Wells's most famous novels was The Time Machine it introduced Victorian society to
the fascination of time travel.
3) Einstein declared time to be the fourth dimension, suddenly physicists began to think of
traveling in time as they thought of traveling through space.
4) The laws of physics don’t include anything to indicate that time travel is impossible; the
possibility calls into question the foundations of physics.
5) On the one hand, time travel should be theoretically possible; on the other, the implications
of time travel upset the laws of physics.
…
2. Correct the following run-together sentences using the method indicated.
1) A foreign student faces many problems, for example, he has to cope with a new culture.
a. (Add a period) ________________________________________________
b. (Add a semicolon) _____________________________________________
2) San Francisco is a very cosmopolitan city, there are people from many cultures, and ethnic
groups living there.
a. (Add a period) _________________________________________________
b. (Add a semicolon) ______________________________________________
c. (Add a subordinating conjunction) __________________________________
d. (Add a coordinating conjunction) ___________________________________
e. (Add a semicolon plus a conjunctive adverb) _________________________
…
Step 4: Stringy Sentences
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1. Ａ brief introduction
2. Ask Ss to correct the following sentence and then sum up the ways to correct stringy
sentences.
Many students attend classes all morning and work all afternoon and then they have to study at
night so they are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Practice
Improve these stringy sentences. Use any method or combination of methods.
1. He enrolled in an advanced calculus class, but he found it too difficult, so he dropped it.
2. The tidal wave ruined the crops, and it destroyed several villages, and it caused many
deaths, so it was a real disaster.
3. The analysts worked many hours on the computer program, but they couldn’t find the cause
of the problem, so they finally gave up, and they went home.
4. Junk food is bad for your health, and it also contains no vitamins, and it damages your
stomach, so you shouldn’t eat it.
5. The lack of rainfall in Northern California has caused a severe water shortage, so people
have to conserve water every day, and they also have to think of new ways to reuse water,
but the situation is improving.
Step 5: Confusing Shifts
1. Confusing shifts in person
(Ask Ss to read the following two sentences and try to find out the problems and then correct
them.)
---A driver should never race your motor without a warm-up.
---When I was in high school, you never knew what to expect.
But sometimes it is not wrong to write sentences in which all three persons appear, as long
as each person applies to a different reference.
---I (person speaking) consider him (person spoken about) hostile to you (person spoken to).
Special attention should be paid to the person of nouns and pronouns that refer to indefinite
individuals or groups.
(Ask Ss to correct the following two sentences.)
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---A human being can never ignore your own feelings.
---It always seems to anyone that I will never die.
(Then ask Ss to read the following two sentences and tell the differences between “one” and
“you.”)
---One should read Huckleberry Finn.
---You should read Huckleberry Finn.
2. Confusing shifts in tense
(Ask Ss to improve the following two sentences, calling their attention to the confusing shifts
in tense.)
---The photographer was changing film when the building shudders and collapses.
---I was extremely sorry you are injured.
Note: The historical present is generally used in literary writing. If we start with the historical
present, we should not lapse into the past tense.
3. Confusing shifts in subject and voice
(Ask Ss to read the following sentences, find out the problem in each one and then correct
them.)
—Mike cannot keep orchids alive, but geraniums are easy for him to grow. (A shift in subject)
—Shirley won the first prize, while her brother was awarded the second. (A shift in voice)
—Roger crossed the goal line, and the winning touchdown was scored. (Shifts in subject and voice)
4. Confusing shifts in mood or speech
Wrong: First stop the noise and then you may start the discussion.
Right: First stop the noise and then start the discussion.
(Ask Ss to correct the following two sentences in as many ways as possible and then sum up
the ways to solve similar problems.)
---Mandy told Tom get out of here.
---Ida asked the artist could she watch him at work.
5. Confusing shifts in number
(Ask Ss to find out the problems in the following two sentences and then correct them.)
—If state parks become too commercialized, they will no longer be a place to escape the pressure of
city life.
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—In high school we worked more as a group than as an individual.
6. Mixed sentence construction
(Ask Ss to find out the problems in the following two sentences and improve them.)
---His job was a policeman.
---Since he was coming was the reason for our excitement.
Practice
1. Pick out the sentences which have confusing shifts or mixed construction, write their
letters in the blanks to the left.
____ 1) a. When I get home I found she waited for me.
b. When I got home I found she had waited for me.
____ 2) a. They want to keep freshmen from having a car on campus.
b. They want to keep freshmen from having cars on campus.
____ 3) a. First they cultivated the garden; then the grass was cut.
b. First they cultivated the garden; then they cut the grass.
____ 4) a. While waiting for my turn brought on the nervousness.
b. While waiting for my turn, I grew nervous,
____ 5) a. By intense practice can cause dramatic improvement.
b. Intense practice can cause dramatic improvement.
…
2. Revise the sentences to get rid of the confusing shifts.
1) When anyone shows up, they tell you to come right in.
2) After I arrived, they asked everybody to take your seats.
3) Consuelas was keeping her balance but finally falls.
4) The lightning flashes, the great oak splits like a parting curtain, and the two halves fell to
either side.
5) The lion sprang upon its quarry, and the antelope was killed.
…
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Step 6: Incomplete Construction
1. Careless omissions
(Ask Ss to find out the problems in the following sentences and then correct them.)
---They passed the ordinance burning leaves without considering how else people could dispose of them.
---They passed the ordinance against burning leaves how else could people dispose of them.
---They passed the ordinance against burning leaves without considering how else.
Special attention should be paid to the sentence with so… that construction.
Not:
---The house was so cold.
---The storm came up so fast.
But:
---The house was so cold that there was ice in the sink.
---The storm came up so fast that we could not find shelter before it was on us.
2. Incomplete comparisons
There are two basic kinds of incomplete comparisons: the open-ended comparison and the
incomplete than clause.
(Ask Ss to read the following advertisements and decide what kind of incomplete
comparison they belong to.)
---White Snow Scotch is better!
---Feltz foods are finer foods!
---Plutocrat will do more for the common man!
(Explain the problem in these sentences.)
Although the type of incomplete comparison comes up less frequently than the open-ended
sort, it can be just as puzzling.
—I loved you more than Aunt Hazel.
(Explain why the above sentence is puzzling.)
Practice
1. Mark with its letter the sentence which takes an incomplete construction and be ready to
explain your work.
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____ 1) a. Swoosh Skis make you ski better!
b. Swoosh Skis make you ski better than no ski at all.
____ 2) a. Those ocean liners were so big.
b. Those ocean liners were so big that passengers had their pick of activities, lounges,
and dining rooms.
____ 3) a. They felt seeing eye dogs had more sensitivity than any other animals.
b. They felt seeing eye dogs had more sensitivity.
____ 4) a. I like Tracy better than Hinton.
b. I like Tracy better than Hinton does.
____ 5) a. Black is as flattering, if not more flattering, than any other color.
b. Black is as flattering as, if not more flattering than, any other color.
…
2. First pick out the sentences with incomplete constructions and then revise them.
1) His cooking is as spicy as, if not spicier than, hers.
2) This truck has a much greater payload.
3) I reported hall monitor for smoking in the restroom.
4) Her opinions are usually more sensible than her brother’s.
5) The Norelco is as well designed as any other coffee maker.
…
Step 7: Ambiguous Pronoun Reference
1. A pronoun with two or more possible antecedents
(Ask Ss to correct the following sentence in as many ways as possible and then sum up the
solutions to the problem.)
—Marvin told Jim he was getting too old.
Solutions to the problem:
 Quoting the speaker’s exact words
 Changing the wording
 Rewriting the sentence entirely
2. A pronoun without clearly expressed antecedent
(Ask Ss to correct the following two sentences and then sum up the solutions to the problem.)
---When he went by the dog pound, they rushed to the fence and barked at him.
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---She was impressed with the way her operation had gone; this was the vocation for her.
Two ways to correct such problems:
 Finding the antecedent for each of the pronouns used
 Without an antecedent, just dropping the pronoun and put in the word it is intended to refer
to
3. The pronouns It, They, and You with indefinite antecedents
(Ask Ss to correct the following sentences and then sum up the solutions to the problem.)
---In the Middle Ages, you could not go against the Church.
---It says in the paper that the coach may resign.
---Throughout Italy they think a lot of soccer.
Two ways to revise this kind of sentence problems:
 Replacing the personal pronouns with indefinite ones
 Eliminating the pronouns entirely
4. The pronouns This, That, and Which referring to general ideas
(Ask Ss to correct the following sentences and then sum up how to improve such references.)
---When I got sick, this set back my plans.
---He learned he had failed; that was the last straw.
---She has nervous palpitations, which she learned from her kindly doctor.
Two ways to improve such references:
 Eliminating the pronoun
 Changing the pronoun to a demonstrative adjective by giving it a noun to modify
5. A pronoun too far away from its antecedent
This calls for judgment, for it is not possible to define “too far away” exactly. Sometimes a
chain of pronouns all refer to the same antecedent, and the writer can go on and on without
repeating the word to which the pronouns refer.
—Particular, he hoped to find evidence of a universal flood with which to science critics of the Bible’s
historical accuracy. Needless to say, his voyage turned out very differently from the way he planned.
At other times, though, antecedents can easily be confused.
—It was his opinion that she had treated him unfairly and that he was justified in leaving her for Marcia. It
never changed.
(Explain this example.)
Practice
1. Go through the following sentences looking for pronoun reference problems. When you find
a pronoun whose antecedent is unclear or not expressed, underline the pronoun and copy it in
the blank to the left. If there are no reference problems, leave the blank empty.
____ 1) Society determined your future in ancient Sparta.
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____ 2) I talked to the outdoor shop, but they don’t handle climbing gear.
____ 3) He was driving his father’s car for the first time, and this made him nervous.
____ 4) My conclusion was that the corporate lawyers advising him had an interest in
developing the patent themselves. It seems to have been correct.
____ 5) When the wave hit the dock it disintegrated.
…
2. Find and correct all reference problems in the following sentences. Be ready to explain your
work.
1) He ran a junk yard for years and sold it to whoever came in looking for some old part or
another.
2) In Mexico, they believe what it says about him in the Bible.
3) Mom told Hilda that the old man they had seen was her father.
4) Karen wants to be an accountant and has made it her major.
5) He married Brenda in a hot air balloon, which shocked everybody.
…
Step 8: Dangling Modifiers
1. Dangling participial modifiers
(Ask Ss to correct the following two sentences and then sum up the ways to correct dangling
modifiers.)
---Flattened by the impact, Jane surveyed her wrecked bike.
---Running down the street, my nose felt frozen.
---A track suit must be worn running in the stadium.
---The apple was sitting on the dish half-eaten by the little boy.
2. Dangling gerunds in prepositional phrases
(Ask Ss to correct the following sentences and then sum up the ways to correct dangling
gerunds in prepositional phrases.)
---After hiking all day, the mountain seemed no nearer.
---Before touching her toes, her muscles were already loose.
--The beans seemed quite tender before starting to season them.
3. Dangling infinitive modifiers
(Ask Ss to correct the following sentences and then sum up the ways to revise dangling
infinitive modifiers.)
---To be well-informed, reading widely is necessary.
---To get up early, the clock was set at six.
---A steady hand is needed to paint landscapes.
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4. Dangling abbreviated clauses
(Ask Ss to correct the following sentences and then sum up the ways to revise dangling
abbreviated clauses.)
---When full of gas, he found the car rode uncomfortably.
---While absorbed in reading, someone knocked at the door.
Note:
Set phrases of indefinite reference and absolute construction are not dangling modifiers. The
former ones are intended to modify the whole sentence, while the latter ones have subjects of their
own.
---To be frank, I do not think he is the right man for the job.
---Generally speaking, at this age, girls are more mature than boys.
---The majority approving of the project, he had to give in.
Practice
1. Write a D in the blank to the left of the sentence if the italicized modifier in it dangles.
1) ____ To succeed in business, a responsible job must be held.
____ A responsible job must be held to succeed in business.
____ To succeed in business, one must hold a responsible job.
2) ____ Speeding along the highway, the sign was just a blur.
____ The sign, as we sped along the highway, was just a blur.
____ Speeding along the highway, we saw the sign as a mere blur.
3) ____ Through signing my name, a legal commitment was made.
____ Through signing my name, I made a legal commitment.
4) ____ Thrown by the angry horse, he bruised his knee on a rock.
____ Thrown by the angry horse, the rock bruised his knee.
5) ____ Although compassionate, her selfishness could not be condoned.
____ Although compassionate, her father could not condone her selfishness.
____ Her father could not condone her selfishness, although he was compassionate.
…
2. Identify and underline the modifiers that dangle and then revise the sentences to correct them.
1) To hull walnuts, they should be fully ripe.
2) Flying steadily faster, the helicopter passed overhead.
3) Though polluted, I am still fond of the river near Memphis.
4) He held out his hand to the small terrier holding the leash behind his back.
5) When driven hard, small-displacement cars tend to overheat.
…
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Step 9: Misplaced Modifier
1. Misplaced prepositional phrases
(Ask Ss to correct the sentences below and then sum up the ways to correct misplaced
prepositional phrases.)
---The Alps attract climbers with sheer stone faces.
---She laughed as John raged with delight.
2. Misplaced adjective clauses
(Ask Ss to correct the sentences below and then sum up the ways to correct misplaced adjective
clauses.)
---He returned the lawn-mower to a neighbor that was broken.
---Suzy had a kitten in the house that ate birds.
3. Misplaced adverbial modifiers
(Explain why the following two sentences are incorrect.)
---The horse he was brushing conscientiously bit him.
---The fish Dad caught joyously expired on the deck.
Some limiting adverbs such as almost, nearly, only, just, even, hardly, and simply may also
cause confusion when misplaced.
—I nearly drank two quarts during the afternoon.
(Explain why the word “nearly” is misplaced and then reposition it.)
Sometimes we see an adverbial modifier awkwardly come between subject and verb, separate
a verb from its object, or pop up in the middle of a verbal phrase. It interrupts the idea and puzzles
the reader.
Examples:
----Glenda, with a kleenex in each hand, treated the runny noses.
---We reached, after a hot, dusty hike, the falls.
---In France she has been on more than one occasion honored.
---Quincy attempted to without damaging the eggs raid the bird’s nest.
(Ask Ss to correct them one by one.)
Practice
1. Consider the placement of the italicized modifier in each of the following sentences. If the
modifier is misplaced, write an M in the blank to the left.
1) ____ We found a campground that afternoon that had a vacancy.
____ We found a campground that had a vacancy that afternoon.
2) ____ He said yesterday morning the breakfast was a success.
____ He said the breakfast yesterday morning was a success.
3) ____ I nearly climbed to the top before I slipped and fell.
____ I climbed nearly to the top before I slipped and fell.
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4) ____ The geranium she had faithfully watered turned yellow and died.
____ The geranium she had watered faithfully turned yellow and died.
5) ____ The man saved the little girl with a bushy, black beard.
____ The man with a bushy, black beard saved the little girl.
…
2. Identify and underline the misplaced modifiers and then reposition them.
1) We have an artillery shell in the basement that Father brought back from Italy.
2) She wanted to buy a new dress with the dance coming up.
3) The boa ate live chickens to which Ann was devoted.
4) The boa, to which Ann was devoted, ate live chickens.
5) Last night the lightening gave me scarcely any rest.
…
Step 10: Wordiness
1. Needless repetition
---The problem of cheating in exams is a serious problem.
---At the end of the First World War, Tom returned back to America.
(Ask Ss to revise the two sentences.)
Here are some more examples.
Wordy: As a rule, my father usually worked late into the night.
Revised: As a rule, my father worked late into the night.
Wordy: We wish to improve our work better.
Revised: We wish to improve our work.
Note:
Necessary repetition helps the writer to emphasize his idea.
--- Bright, very bright were the stars over the wild dark Yenan hills.
---Happy and gay we joined in the dance.
2. Needless expansion
(Ask Ss to study the following pairs of sentences to see the economy of wording.)
Wordy: As for her family we know nothing about them.
Revised: We knew nothing about her family. (single word for phrase)
Wordy: My father is a veteran worker who has retired.
Revised: My father is a retired veteran worker. (single word for clause)
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Wordy: Beijing, which is the capital of China, is a famous ancient city.
Revised: Beijing, the capital of China, is a famous ancient city. (appositive for clause)
3. Awkward clichés
(Offer a brief explanation and some examples.)
4. Overwritten style
(Ask Ss to compare the following two pairs of sentences.)
Overwritten: My venerable parent expired a week ago.
Revised: My father died a week ago.
Overwritten: It is of great importance that action be taken in regard of this matter at the earliest possible
date.
Revised: It is very important that something be done about the matter as soon as possible.
Practice
1. Improve the following sentences by eliminating the unnecessary words if there are any. Make
some other changes when they are needed.
1) We remained in the country throughout the entire week.
2) This is equally as correct as that.
3) We shall see each other after this is over.
4) We must cooperate together if we wish to succeed.
5) There was no cloud in the cloudless sky.
…
2. First underline the clichés in these sentences and then try to improve the sentences.
1) We had planned to go to the lake, and I was up bright and early, raring to go.
2) But my wife was sleeping like a log, and our son was dead to the world.
3) I started the breakfast, but I was all thumbs and couldn’t get the orange juice can open to
save my life.
4) Finally I did get the breakfast on the table and called the others, I was determined to get
rolling, come hell or high water.
5) When they finally came downstairs, they were hungry as bears, but they complained that the
toast was cold.
…
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