Download Action Verb

Integrating
Grammar
Into Your
Writing
How is a writer like an artist?
CONCEPTS
• Pictures
– Not made of
flowers, guitars,
people, etc.
– Made with elements
of art: shapes,
tones, directions,
sizes, lines,
textures, and colors
• Writing
– Not constructed
only from
experiences,
information,
characters, or plots
– From fundamental
artistic elements of
nature
5 Basic Brush Strokes
• The participle
• The absolute
• The appositive
• Shifted adjectives
• Action verbs
Painting with Participles
• Picture in your mind’s eye, a nest of
snakes curling around some prey.
Which image captures the picture?
The diamond
scaled
snakes
attacked
their prey.
Hissing,
slithering, and
coiling, the
diamond-scaled
snakes attacked
their prey.
Painting More with Participles
• Picture in your mind’s eye, rats
nearby.
Which image captures the
picture?
The sewer
rats
devoured
their food.
Wailing,
shoving, and
gnawing, the
sewer rats
devoured their
food.
Participles Evoke Action
– Hissing their forked red tongues and
coiling their cold bodies, the diamond
scaled snakes attacked their prey.
– Shifting the weight of the line to his
left shoulder and kneeling carefully, he
washed his hand in the ocean and held it
there, submerged, for more than a
minute, watching blood trail away and
the steady movement of the water
against his hand as the boat moved.
» -Old Man and the Sea (56-57)
Participles Evoke Action
– Wailing their high-pitched voices and
shoving their skeletal cold bodies, the
sewer rats devoured the school lunch
thrown in the dumpster.
– Howling with pain, the troll twisted and
flailed its club with Harry clinging on for
dear life; any second, the troll was going
to rip him off or catch him a terrible blow
with the club.
» -Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (J.K.
Rowling)
Capture this picture by using a
participle in your description.
Absolute
• A two-word combination
– A noun and an ing or ed verb
added onto a sentence.
• Example:
–The cat climbed the tree.
(no absolute)
–Claws digging, feet
kicking, the cat climbed
the tree.
• Mind racing, anxiety overtaking, the
diver peered once more at the
specimen. (E. Stralka)
• I glanced at my clock, digits glowing
fluorescent blue in the inky
darkness of my room. (J. Coppolo)
• Jaws cracking, tongue curling, the
kitten yawned tiredly, awaking from
her nap. (T. Tesmer)
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NOUNS
Mind
Jaws
Tongue
Anxiety
Arms
Legs
Heart
Eyes
Breath
Mouth
Tail
Legs
Hands
Fur
Back
Feet
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ING VERBS (PARTICIPLES)
Racing
Pounding
Stretching
Working
Hunching
Darting
Staring
Exhaling
Kicking
Swimming
Cracking
Building
Curling
Stiffening
Beating
Lifting
Shaking
Trembling
Hanging
Screaming
Capture this picture by using
an absolute in your description.
Painting with Appositives
• A noun that adds a second
image to a preceding noun
– Expands details in the
reader’s imagination
Enhance the First Image
• The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs.
• The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys
eating turtle eggs.
• The raccoon, a midnight
scavenger who roams lake
shorelines in search of food,
enjoys eating turtle eggs.
The volcano, a ravenous god of fire,
spewed forth lava and ash across the
mountain. (B. Quagliata)
The old Navajo woman, a weak and
withered lady, stared blankly. (J. Vadnal)
The fish, a slimy mass of flesh, felt
the alligator’s giant teeth sink into his
scales as he struggled to get away. (L. Kannen)
Capture this picture by using an
appositive in your description.
Painting with Adjectives Shifted
Out of Order
• Used more often by fiction authors
– Amplify the details of image
Correcting the Overload
of Description
• The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose
charged the intruder.
Better– The large bull moose, red-eyed and
angry, charged at the intruder.
The old woman, aged and wrinkled, smiled upon
her newborn great-grandson with pride. (S.
Schwallie)
The boxer, twisted and tormented, felt no
compassion for his contender. (C. Hloros)
The cheetah, tired and hungry, stared at the
gazelle, which would soon become his dinner. (Z.
Vesoulis)
Capture this picture by using
shifted adjectives in your
description.
Painting with Action
Verbs
• Eliminating passive voice
(communicate no action)
• Reducing being verbs
• Action verbs replace still photos
with motion pictures
• Bring an inanimate object to life
with action verbs
Being Verb:
The gravel road was on the left side
of the barn.
Action Verb:
The gravel road curled around the
left side of the barn.
First Draft
Rockwell was a beautiful
lake. Canadian geese could
be heard across the water
bugled like tuneless
trumpets. Near the shore,
two children were hidden
behind a massive maple
tree. Watching quietly,
they hoped to see the first
gosling begin to hatch.
Final Draft
Rockwell Lake echoed with
the sounds of Canadian geese.
Their honking bugled across
the water like tuneless
trumpets. Two children hid
behind a massive maple tree.
They silently watched, hoping
to see the first gosling hatch.
COMBINING STROKES
Then it crawled in. A spider, a repulsive, hairy creature,
no bigger than a tarantula, crawled into the room. It
crawled across the floor up onto his nightstand and
stopped, as if it were staring at him. He reached for a
nearby copy of Sports Illustrated, rolled it up, and
swatted the spider with all his might.
He looked over only to see a hideous mass of eyes and
legs. He had killed it. Just then, another one crawled in,
following the same path as the first. He killed that one
too. Then another one came, and another, and another.
There were hundreds of them! Hands trembling, sweat
dripping from his face, he flung the magazine left and
right, trying to kill the spiders, but there were too many.
He dropped the magazine.