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VERBAL COMMUNICATION The basis of communication is the interaction between people. Verbal communication is one way for people to communicate face-to-face. Some of the key components of verbal communication are sound, words, speaking, and language. Body language changes as people get to know each other better- from nervous barricading at first to mimicking movement as friendship deepen. According to one theory, verbal communication follows a similar progression. STAGES OF VERBAL COMMUNICATION 1.AWARENESS: First, comes an initial awareness of the other. Something about the other person sparks our interest. Something makes us know we´d like to know more. Then conversation takes root. After stops and starts of inconsequential chitchat, names are exchanged. 2.SUFACE CONTACT Finally, as the friendship begins to unfold, conversation becomes more longwinded, though masks are still very much intact. Real feelings and attitudes are disguised under a lot of smiling and politeness. Subjects discussed are generally limited to current topics or to those of mutual interest sucha s the class the two people are in together. 3.MUTUALITY For the relationship to continue, masks must be dropped. Usually this begins with an exchange of personal information. Telling others pieces from our pasts serves as a substitute for experiences the almost-friends have not yet shared. Finally real feeling and opinions are ventured. If feelings and opinions and frankness are met with understanding and a return of honesty, then trust builds. The stage of mutuality begins. You talk about yourself, your feelings, your worries, your goals. Each person´s actions and attirudes are strongly influenced by the other. You talk from your innermost self, and you listen as your friend does the same. There is great interdependence. These stages of communication are the same in loving relationship as well as in friendships. And yet there is never a guarantee that one stage of communication will grow into the next. If that were always true, we would fall in love with anyone who sparked our interest and everyone we´d meet would become a friend. As i tis, most relationships burn out before unmasking takes place. At birth, most people have vocal cords, which produce sounds. As a child grows it learns how to form these sounds into words. Some words may be imitative of natural sounds, but others may come from expressions of emotion, such as laughter or crying. Words alone have no meaning. Only people can put meaning into words. As meaning is assigned to words, language develops, which leads to the development of speaking. Through speaking we try to eliminate this misunderstanding, but sometimes this is a very hard thing to do. Just as we assume that our messages are clearly received, so we assume that because something is important to us, it is important to others. As time has proven this is not at all true. Many problems can arise is speaking and the only way to solve these problems is through experience. Speaking can be looked at in two major areas: interpersonal and public speaking. Since the majority of speaking is an interpersonal process, to communicate effectively we must not simply clean up our language, but learn to relate to people. In interpersonal speaking, etiquette is very important. To be an effective communicator one must speak in a manner that is not offending to the receiver. Etiquette also plays an important role in an area that has developed in most all business settings: hierarchical communication. In business today, hierarchical communication is of utmost importance to all members involved. The other major area of speaking is public speaking. From the origin of time, it has been obvious that some people are just better public speakers than others. Because of this, today a good speaker can earn a living by speaking to people in a public setting. Some of the major areas of public speaking are speaking to persuade, speaking to inform, and speaking to inspire or motivate. Effective communication Effective communication occurs when a desired effect is the result of intentional or unintentional information sharing, which is interpreted between multiple entities and acted on in a desired way. This effect also ensures the message is not distorted during the communication process. Effective communication should generate the desired effect and maintain the effect, with the potential to increase the effect of the message. Therefore, effective communication serves the purpose for which it was planned or designed. Possible purposes might be to elicit change, generate action, create understanding, inform or communicate a certain idea or point of view. When the desired effect is not achieved, factors such as barriers to communication are explored, with the intention being to discover how the communication has been ineffective. Barriers to effective communication can retard or distort the message and intention of the message being conveyed which may result in failure of the communication process or an effect that is undesirable. These include filtering, selective perception, information overload, emotions, language, silence, communication apprehension, gender differences and political correctness .This also includes a lack of expressing "knowledge-appropriate" communication, which occurs when a person uses ambiguous or complex legal words, medical jargon, or descriptions of a situation or environment that is not understood by the recipient. Effective Listening Active listening is a very important listening skill and yet, as communicators, people tend to spend far more energy considering what they are going to say rather than listening to what the other person is trying to say. Although active listening is a skill in itself, covered in our articles on listening, it is also vital for verbal communication. The following points are essential for effective and active listening: -Arrange a comfortable environment conducive to the purpose of the communication, for example a warm and light room with minimal background noise. - Be prepared to listen -Keep an open mind and concentrate on the main direction of the speaker's message. -Avoid distractions if at all possible. - Delay judgment until you have heard everything. -Be objective -Do not be trying to think of your next question while the other person is giving information.