Download Year 8 to 12 moderated evidence - Department for Education and

Language and Literacy Levels
Moderated Evidence
Years 8 – 12
December 2014
Introduction
This resource is a support document for the Language and Literacy Levels across the Australian
Curriculum: EALD Students. It supports teachers to assign accurate and consistent Language and Literacy
Levels to monitor the progress of English as an Additional Language or Dialect (EALD) students from Years
8 to 12. The document contains annotated sets of evidence for the range of Levels that attract funding
for 8-12 EALD students. For additional sets of evidence, teachers should refer to the Language and
Literacy Levels Moderated Evidence: Reception – Year 7.
Language and Literacy Levels across the Australian Curriculum: EALD Students
The Language and Literacy Levels were developed by the South Australian Department for Education and
Child Development to replace the SACSA ESL Scales, in line with the move from a state-based curriculum
to a national one. The Language and Literacy Levels are intended to be used to:
• assess, monitor and report the language and literacy development (predominantly focusing on
the development of formal written-like language) of any student, in particular high needs
students such as EALD students
• determine the level of student language learning need
• identify the appropriate support category to inform and direct allocations of EALD funding
• inform programming & planning through the identification of key teaching points, learning goals
and language level targets.
Recommended process for assigning a Level
The following model is provided to assist schools to assign accurate and consistent EALD Levels. If a
school wants to develop their own model it should contain the following stages:
• collecting sets of evidence
• establishing the context
• making a general judgement
• making a finer judgement
• making a decision
• moderating for accuracy and consistency.
1. Collect two written texts, one from the factual and the other from the creative or persuasive text
types. Refer to the https://myintranet.learnlink.sa.edu.au/teaching/english-as-an-additionallanguage-or-dialect-eald/eald-funding/eald-funding on the EALD website for details.
2. Understand the context of the text. Another teacher will need to provide this if the teacher
assigning the Level is not the one who set the task. Reflect upon the purpose and audience of the
text type and anticipate the structure and the language required to achieve the purpose.
3. Scan the sets of evidence, select three representative sets (high, average, low) and begin
assigning Levels by highlighting language choices. These choices should be recorded on the
approved recording proforma.
4. Compare these choices to the language indicators in the Language and Literacy Levels by starting
at two Levels below that expected for the year level (see table below). Assign a Level to each
representative set. Record it on the recording proforma. Refer to Moderated Evidence if
necessary.
Year Level
Lang & Lit Level
8
12
9
13
10-12
14
5. Repeat the process for the other sets of evidence until all have been given a Level. This should be
quicker having already assigned Levels to high, average and low sets.
July 2014, p2
6. Moderate.
•
•
If more than one teacher in the school is assigning Levels, then moderation of student sets of
evidence should occur between teachers before the Levels are entered into EDSAS.
If Levels are being assigned by a single teacher, then they can contact their EALD Consultant to
arrange for moderation.
NA means not applicable.
NE means not evident.
The Department for Education and Child Development requests attribution as: South Australian
Department for Education and Child Development.
July 2014, p3
Contents
Level
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
Student Name
Yolanda
Ash
Abdul
Nick
Mary
Aaron
Jimmy
Ngoc
Dominic
Gretel
Estelle
Rose
Text Type
Pages
Description
5 to 7
Procedure
8 to 10
Description
11 to 13
Procedure
14 to 16
Recount
17 to 19
Report
20 to 22
Description
23 to 25
Information Report
26 to 28
Personal Letter
29 to 31
Information Report
32 to 34
Personal Letter
35 to 37
Personal Response
38 to 40
Description
41 to 43
Narrative
44 to 47
Personal Letter
48 to 51
Analytical Argument
52 to 55
Personal Recount
56 to 59
News Report
60 to 65
Personal Reflection
66 to 70
Text Analysis
71 to 75
Taxonomic Report
76 to 81
Historical Recount
82 to 85
Information Report
86 to 88
Comparative Essay
89 to 91
July 2014, p4
July 2014, p5
Student Name:
Yolanda
Level:
1
Text Type: Description
Level
Composing learning area texts
NA
Oral interactions and presentations
NA
Using visuals
Written texts
Forms a few identifiable letters
1
Copies words from a list
1
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
NE
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers (headings/
sub-headings; introductions and topic
sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
NE
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity using
circumstances and/or expanded noun
groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level (capital to begin and full
stop/question mark/exclamation mark to
end
• Basic punctuation (capitals for proper
nouns and commasin lists)
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
o tense
o subject/verb agreement
Level
Writes in single words
1
Writes capital B
3
NE
NE
NE
July 2014, p6
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings and
states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner(quality and means)
NE
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and definite
(the)
NE
• Nominalisations
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
NE
Word Knowledge
NE
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
Identifies some beginning sounds: b in big
1
July 2014, p7
July 2014, p8
Student Name:
Yolanda
Level:
1
Text Type: Procedure
Composing learning area texts
Level
NA
Oral interactions and presentations
Using visuals
Uses a few pictures to show how to make a sandwich
Written texts
Forms identifiable letters
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Omitted one picture but sequences other pictures in order
1-2
2
Text Knowledge
Text Cohesion
1
NE
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
Text Cohesion
NE
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Level
NE
Punctuation
• Sentence level (capital to begin and full
stop/question mark/exclamation mark to
end
• Basic punctuation (capitals for proper
nouns and commasin lists)
NE
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
NE
o tense
NE
o subject/verb agreement
NE
July 2014, p9
ords and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner(quality and means)
NE
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
NE
• Nominalisations
NE
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
Word Knowledge
NE
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
Writes initial sound for Beb (bread) andger (girl)
1
July 2014, p10
July 2014, p11
Student Name:
Ash
Level:
2
Text Type: Description
Level
Composing learning area texts
NA
Oral interactions and presentations
NA
Using visuals
Written texts
Forms identifiable letters
3
Relying upon models and scaffolds writes a few things about the
picture
3
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
NE
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution
NE
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Constructs simple sentences
Punctuation
• Sentence level (capital to begin and full
stop/question mark/exclamation mark to
end
• Basic punctuation (capitals for proper
nouns and commasin lists)
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
o tense
2
NE
Processes
•
Doing: sit (sitting); walk (walking);jum (jumping)
Begins to use simple tenses for most common regular verbs
•
Presentsit (sitting); walk (walking);jum (jumping)
2
3
o subject/verb agreement
July 2014, p12
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner(quality and means)
NE
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
NE
• Nominalisations
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
NE
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
Word Knowledge
NE
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
Uses correct letters to represent most beginnings and some end
sounds in familiar words:tal (tall); an (and); gren (green;jum
2
(jump)
July 2014, p13
July 2014, p14
Student Name:
Ash
Level:2
Text Type: Procedure
Composing learning area texts
Level
NA
Oral interactions and presentations
Uses pictures to show how to make a sandwich
2
Using visuals
Written texts
Typed
NE
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Organises pictures in correct order
2
Sentence openers: Bred (bread); cut; Put; Bit (Bite); Was (Wash)
4
Pronouns: it
2
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level (capital to begin and full
stop/question mark/exclamation mark to
end
• Basic punctuation (capitals for proper
nouns and commasin lists)
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
o tense
Level
Bite and et it
NE
Experiments with capitals and full stops
3
Processes
•
Doing: cut; Put; Bit (Bite); Was (Wash)
3
Simple present tense for most common regular and some irregular verbs
2
o subject/verb agreement
July 2014, p15
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner(quality and means)
NE
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
bred (bread);knif (knife);fodd (food);sala(salad); butta(butter)
2
• Nominalisations
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
NE
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
3
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
Uses correct letters to represent most beginning and some end sounds
in familiar words: bred (bread);knif (knife);fodd (food);butta
2
(butter); bit (bite)
July 2014, p16
Abdul: Recount
One yer ago I come to Australia I come wef my old bother.
She nam is Amir i live TOwmunfs in Adelade AND I stat schol.
No Amir. She Looking work. I sTudie had
here is nise. WE has nu hom and we anjo it
July 2014, p17
Student Name:
Abdul
Level:
3
Text Type: Recount
Level
Composing learning area texts
NA
Oral interactions and presentations
NA
Using visuals
Written texts
Writes several short sentences and phrases about personal events in a
logical order
3/4
Text Knowledge
Attempts a brief recount beginning with a phrase of time
3
Text and paragraph openers:One year ago
4
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
I; She; No; Here; We
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution
Pronouns: I; my; She (his); She (he); We; it
3/4
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple –
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
Simple sentences using circumstances:One year ago;wef (with) my old
bother (brother); tow (two) munfs (months) in Adelade (Adelaide)
3
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Punctuation
• Sentence level (capital to begin and full
stop/question mark/exclamation mark
to end
• Basic punctuation (capitals for proper
nouns and commasin lists)
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
o tense
Full stops at end of some sentences. All capitals due to font type
3
Processes
•
Doing: come; live; stat (start); looking;studie (study)
•
Sensing:anjo (enjoy)
•
Relating: is; has (have)
3
Simple tenses for most common regular and some irregular verbs
• Present: live; is
• Past: come (came); stat (started)
2/3
Attempts negative form of verb: No Amir (Amir did not start school)
o subject/verb agreement
Demonstrates limited and inconsistent control of subject verb agreement
1-3
July 2014, p18
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner(quality and means)
Circumstances
• place: to Australia; in Adelade (Adelaide)
• time: One year ago
• accompaniment:with my bother (brother)
• manner:had (hard)
3/4
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
• Nominalisations
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): yer (year); bother (brother);nam (name);munfs
3
Evaluative language
• feelings and emotions:anjo (enjoy)
• judgments of people (characters):nise (nice)
3
(months);hom (home)
• possessives as pointers: my; She (His)
• numeratives:one; tow (two)
• describers: old (older); nu (new)
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
Word Knowledge
NE
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
Spells with some accuracy common monosyllabic words: one; to;she;
my; is
3
Spells other words based on sounds in the word:yer (year);wef
(with);nam (name);munfs (months); stat (start);scol
(school);studie (study);nise (nice); nu (new)
July 2014, p19
Abdul:Report
SportReport
Football has 11 plays. Ther is goals at ends. Skor by kik and heada. Man U is best team they
were red top
Wayne Rooney Star
July 2014, p20
Student Name:
Abdul
Level:
3
Text Type: Report
Level
Composing learning area texts
NA
Oral interactions and presentations
He inserted a photograph of a soccer player and gave it a label
3
Five simple sentences in a logical order
4
Five simple sentences and labels own photograph but does not use subheadings
4
Text and paragraph opener/title:Football
5
Using visuals
Written texts
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
Sentence openers:Ther (There), Skor (Score), Man U(Manchester
United); they
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution
Pronouns: they
4
Simple sentences using circumstances:at ends; by kik (kicks)and
heada(header);and using expanded noun groups:best team; red tops
3
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level (capital to begin and full
stop/question mark/exclamation mark to
end
• Basic punctuation (capitals for proper
nouns and commasin lists)
Most sentences beginning with capitals and end with full stops
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
Processes
•
Doing: Skor (Score); were (wear)
•
Relating: has; is
4
3
3
o tense
Only uses simple present tense: has, score, is
o subject/verb agreement
Demonstrates limited and inconsistent control of subject verb agreement
1-3
July 2014, p21
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner(quality and means)
Circumstances
• place: at ends
• manner:
o means:bykik (kicks) and heada(header)
3/4
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
• Nominalisations
3
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): plays (players); team; top
• numeratives: 11
• describers: best; red
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
Evaluative language
• judgments of people (characters):best;star
4
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
4
Football, gols (goals);Skor (score);heada (header); Man U
(Manchester United)
Uses correct letters to represent beginning, middle and end sounds in
words from familiar texts: gols (goals);Skor (Score);kik (kicks);heada
3
(header)
July 2014, p22
NICK: DESCRIPTION
Task: Write a short description about
this picture.
Write 3 paragraphs
(1) Write an introduction
(2) Describe what is happening in the
picture
(3) Finish the description
Write 50 -100 words
John and his friend are swinimg in lakes near the hills
The are very compontble and Ejoy them sulf doing many thinks fishing and Playing.
Can you see what The are doing in picture. John is fishing and Tim Tom are swims in
side the lakes and Ali is riding the bicycal. and Three children are Playing Games and
some are sitting on the Trees.
So the friends are ejoy the Good day for swim and fishing.
July 2014, p23
Student Name:
Nick
Level:
4
Genre:
Description
Level
Composing learning area texts
Oral interactions and presentations
NA
Using visuals
NA
Written texts
Independently wrote in response to instructions with accompanying
visual. Ideas are in a logical order
4
Text knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
He wrote a basic description of an everyday illustration in several
sentences.
4/5
Text and paragraph openers:John and his friend; Can you see
5
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers (headings/
sub-headings; introductions and topic
sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
Text cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution)
what The (they) are doing in the picture
Text connective:So
4/5
Pronouns: his, The (they);themsulf (themselves)
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity using
circumstances and/or expanded noun
groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capitals to begin and full
stops, question marks or exclamation marks
to end
• Capitals for proper nouns
• Commas in lists
Words and word groups
• Processes (verb groups/phrases)
• Tense
Simple sentences using circumstances:in lakes near the hills; and
using expanded noungroups:John and his friend; the good day
for swim (swimming) and fishing; three children
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and
NB. Projection also forms a complex sentence:Can you see what…
Capitals to begin sentences and full stops at end of most sentences.
Question mark not used.
• Circumstances (adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrases)
4/5
Capital for proper nouns, but several common nouns capitalized.
Processes
•
Doing: swinimg (swimming); riding; playing
•
Sensing: ejoy (enjoy)
•
Relating: are
3/4
6
Elaborated tenses: is fishing; are playing; are doing
Words and word groups
3
Circumstances
• place: in lakes near the hills, in side (inside) the lakes, on the
Trees
3
July 2014, p24
Words and word groups
• Noun groups/phrases
• Plurals
• Articles: indefinite (a/an) and definite (the)
Noun groups: John and his friend; the Good day for swim and
fishing
• key nouns (things): friend, lakes, children, thinks (things), day
• possessives as pointers: his
• numeratives: three, many
• describers: good
• qualifiers: near the hills; for swim and fishing
• Nominalisations
6
Nominalisation: fishing; Playing; swim (swimming)
Expressing opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: (expressing feelings
and emotions; judgements of people and
evaluation of things)
• Varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
3/4
Evaluative language
• Feelings:ejoy (enjoy)
• judgments of people (characters):compontble (comfortable))
• evaluation of things: good
5
varied intensity: very
Word knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic vocabulary
Subject-specific: lakes; swim
Spelling
Spells accuracy common monosyllabic words: on, in, are, hills,
good
4
4/5
Spells some words based on sounds: thinks (things);
bicycal;themsulf(themselves)
Spells words ending in regular suffix: playing; riding
July 2014, p25
NICK: INFORMATION REPORT
(NEWS REPORT SUMMARY)
Grey Nurse sharks
Today we looking news in the TV. about Grey Nurse sharks.
Grey Nurse sharke are very gentle. people did used to think Grey Nurse shark were man-eaters. Now Grey Nurse
sharks have problem. This problem is vanishing Be couse vanishing not any more low do fine for kill a Grey
Nurse shark. sometimes get hookted people in new south wales by accident to these sharks. some scuba divers
loveing new south wals be cous can get close to these sharks. In the Australia’s east coast jast fewer than 300.
July 2014, p26
Student Name:
Nick
Level: 4
Genre: Information
Composing learning area texts
report
Level
Oral interactions and presentations
NA
Using visuals
NA
Written texts
Accurate letter size and formation. Text is six sentences in length.
5
Has an appropriate opening sentence and several others containing
information to explain the topic.
5
Text and paragraph opener: Today
5
Text knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers (headings/
sub-headings; introductions and topic
sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
Text cohesion
• Reference (
o Pronouns
o substitution)
Sentence openers: Grey Nurse sharke (shark), Now, This,
Sometimes, Some, In Australia
4, 8
Pronouns: we, This, these
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity using
circumstances and/or expanded noun
groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
• Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capitals to begin and full
stops, question marks or exclamation marks
to end
• Capitals for proper nouns
• Commas in lists
Words and word groups
• Processes (verb groups/phrases)
• Tense
Simple sentences using circumstances:in the TV; about Grey
Nurse sharks; by accident; In the Australia’s east coastand
using expanded noun groups: some scuba divers; Grey Nurse
5
sharks
Complex sentences using subordinating (binding) conjunctions: be
couse (because)
Most sentences begin with capitals and full stops used inconsistently
4-5
All proper nouns, except new south walesandnew south wals,
have capitals.
Processes
•
Doing: looking; kill
•
Sensing: loveing (love)
•
Relating: are; were; have; is
3-4
Simple tense
• Present: are; have
• Past: were
Begins to use, with limited control, complex verb groups
• Elaborated tenses: is vanishing
• Multi-word verb groups: did used to think
• Modals and Negatives: can get;vanishing not
Words and word groups
Circumstances
July 2014, p27
• Circumstances (adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrases)
• place: in the TV; in new south wals(New South Wales)
• time: Today; Now
• manner: by accident
4
Words and word groups
• Noun groups/phrases
• Plurals
• Articles: indefinite (a/an) and definite (the)
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): shark; divers; problem
• numeratives: some
• qualifiers: Grey Nurse; scuba
4
Nominalisation: problem; vanishing
• Nominalisations
Expressing opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: (expressing feelings
and emotions; judgements of people and
evaluation of things)
• Varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
Evaluative language
• judgments of people (characters):gentle
4-5
varied intensity: very
Modality: jast (just)
Word knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
•
Topic vocabulary
Spelling
Grey Nurse shark; man-eaters; scuba divers; Australia’s east
coast
Spelling
Topic words: Grey Nurse shark; scuba diver;Australia;new
4
7
south wales
Compound words: man-eater
Generalisations: looking, vanishing
Spells some words based on sound: hookted
July 2014, p28
MARY: PERSONAL RESPONSE (PERSONAL LETTER)
3/10 Francis
Brookly Park
Dear Mr Owen
IcOmefromSUDAN.
The people from my country.We are bad .Because they are fighting a lot In country.
But the wealther is good.
Because there ,s war in my country. Iwould like to playing basketball.
Ilook like my brother . My friend like me.My family is abig family,
Iwouldike to wached television in my free time.
Ilike Adelaide because it s small city. Ihave visited melbourne and moonta bay.
My favorite place is Adelaide. Iwould like to be adoctor.
Ilive in flat.has a back yard.
July 2014, p29
Student Name:
Mary
Level:
5
Genre: Letter
Composing learning area texts
Level
Oral interactions and presentations
NA
Using visuals
NA
Written texts
4
Text knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Written independently following modeling of task
Beginning to add detail to orientation.
5
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers (headings/
sub-headings; introductions and topic
sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
Text cohesion
• Reference (pronouns and substitution)
Mostly human: I; My family; My friend; We
5
Pronouns: I; we; they; my; it; me
5
Simple sentences using circumstances:in my free
time;andusingexpanded noun groups: My favourite place,
5
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity using
circumstances and/or expanded noun
groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: But
Complex sentences using subordinating (binding) conjunctions:
Because
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capitals to begin and full
stops, question marks or exclamation marks
to end
• Capitals for proper nouns
• Commas in lists
Capitals at the beginning of sentences & some inappropriate (cOme);
full stops at end of sentences, often inappropriately between clauses;
comma instead of apostrophe
Words and word groups
• Processes (verb groups/phrases)
Processes
•
Doing: fighting, have visited, live
•
Sensing: like, would like to
•
Relating: come from;are; is; there,s(there’s);look like; has;
• Tense
5
Mr. Owen, Adelaide, SUDAN
Choice and formation of tense. Has control over some common regular
and some irregular verbs, Present: are; is; has
• verb groups:
o elaborated tenses:are fighting; have visited
o multi-word verb groups: … like to playing
o modals and negatives: would like to be; would like to
4
playing; would like to watched
Words and word groups
• Circumstances (adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrases)
Circumstances
• place: from Sudan; in (my) country; in (a) flat
• time: in my free time
4
July 2014, p30
Words and word groups
• Noun groups/phrases
• Plurals
• Articles: indefinite (a/an) and definite (the)
• Nominalisations
The people from my country; abig family; my favorite place; a
back yard
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): wealther(weather); war;
•
•
•
•
basketball;melbourne
possessives as pointers: my
describers: bad; good; big; small
classifier: back
qualifiers:from my country
3
Expressing opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: (expressing feelings
and emotions; judgements of people and
evaluation of things)
• Varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
Evaluative language
• judgments of people (characters):bad; fighting a lot
• evaluation of things: good; small
I would like
I like Adelaide, My favorite place
5
Word knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
City; flat; war
4/5
Most words spelt correctly, one phonetically spelt word: wached
5
July 2014, p31
MARY: INFORMATION REPORT
(NEWS REPORT SUMMARY)
Behind the News
Story
Life in Iraq
School – In Iraq students study
same subject arabic.
Along ago the islamarabic prayers hundren time a day. But now the most of Muslim the Prayers
five time a day.
Many years ago Iraq was the rich country in the Middle East. But now Iraq was the poor country
because he used fighting. There’s no sewerage systems & electricity and it has 240000
population.They most of children the donn’t go to school.
Iraq it donn’t have missiles to attack america or Australia But it has smalls missiles that is he
attack issrel in 1991 Gulf war.
July 2014, p32
Student Name:
Mary
Level:
5
Genre: Information
Report
Composing learning area texts
Level
Oral interactions and presentations
NA
Using visuals
NA
Written texts
Text consists of 7 sentences which include appropriate details.
5
Text knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers (headings/
sub-headings; introductions and topic
sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
Text cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution
Written independently after viewing the video several times & class
discussion of context.
Text and paragraph openers: Title ‘Life in Iraq’ as general statement &
series of related paragraphs
Centred headings, sub-heading ‘School’
4/5
5
But now
Foregrounding of time & place, human & non-human elements
appropriate for this task
Pronouns: they; he(Iraq); it(Iraq);inappropriate use of pronoun after
subject: Iraq it
4
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity using
circumstances and/or expanded noun
groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capitals to begin and full
stops, question marks or exclamation marks
to end
• Capitals for proper nouns
• Commas in lists
Words and word groups
• Processes (verb groups/phrases)
• Tense
Simple sentence using circumstances: Along ago; Many years ago; in
the Middle East
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and; but
Complex sentences using subordinating (binding) conjunctions: because
5
Full stops & capital letters for sentence punctuation, some inconsistency:
Butin mid-sentence, dash used appropriately in sub-heading
5
Some capitals for some proper nouns
Processes
•
Doing: studies; to attack
•
Sensing: prayers(prayed)really a Behavioural process
•
Relating: was; there’s; has; is
Choice and formation of tense
Simple tenses for most common regular and some irregular verbs:
• present:attack
• past:used; prayers (prayed)
• verbs groups:
o elaborated tenses:I’m living
o modals and negatives: donn’t go; donn’t have
5/6
3/4
July 2014, p33
Words and word groups
• Circumstances (adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrases)
Words and word groups
• Noun groups/phrases
Circumstances
• place: In Iraq; in the Middle East; to school
• time: Along ago; Many years ago; in 1991 Gulf War;fivetime(s)
4
a day
The most of Muslim; the rich country in the Middle East; no
sewerage systems; the poor country; most of children
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): Iraq; Arabic; missiles; issrel;america
• numeratives: hundren; most; five; no; 240000
• describers: rich; poor; smalls
• classifiers: islamarabic; sewage
• Plurals
• Articles: indefinite (a/an) and definite (the)
Some plurals inaccurate, confusion between theandthey
• Nominalisations
Life; population; fighting
5/6/7
Expressing opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: (expressing feelings
and emotions; judgements of people and
evaluation of things)
• Varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
Evaluative language
• evaluation of things: Iraq was the poor country because he used
4
fighting
opinion expressed through comparisons: the rich country…the poor
country
Word knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
5/6
•
Topic vocabulary
Spelling
Muslim; Middle East; sewerage systems; missiles;america
Mostly spelt correctly, though some errors with common words: donn’t,
Spelling based on own pronunciation:hundren
5
July 2014, p34
AARON: PERSONAL RESPONSE (PERSONAL LETTER)
Dear Mr Thomas,
How are you? My name is Aaron Pham. I’m 16 year old. My birthday is 20th June. I was born in Malaysia.
there is five people in my family. There is my father, mother, brother, sister and me My father is a doctor
Who work in Malaysia, my mother is a housewife and my brother goes to Uni. My sister don’t goes to
school yet my weakness is in english. I have some problems with spelling words in english. In my free time
I love to play basketball and watching T.V. When I finish year 12 and finish Uni, I like to open my own
shop and make a lot of money. I thing the school is OK the way it is I thing the country should stop talking
about the people you should vote for. I don’t get well with brother just some things keep us fighting. If I
earn a lot of money, I buy a new cars and buy a new house for my father and mother I like to goes to the
movies, I can speak chinese, english, Malay.
I am 183cm tall and I have brown eyes, my hair used to be black. I am trying to get a job at a fast food
restaurant. So I can make more money to buy a new sports car for myself. some time I put mp3 songs on
CD, so that I can listen to them I don’t play sport anymore, now and then I have a shot at baseketball.
Yours sincerity
Aaron
July 2014, p35
Student Name:
Aaron
Level:
6
Text Type: Letter
Composing learning area texts
Level
NA
Oral interactions and presentations
NA
Using visuals
Written texts
Simple personal letter with salutation, two paragraphs and a
complimentary closing statement. Known topic information, mostly
spoken like language structures.
6
Formulaic initiating and closing phrases:
6
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Dear Mr Thomas; How are you?; Yours sincerity,
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
o passive voice
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution
How are you; I
6
Uses a narrow range of sentence openers: My Name; I; There is; In my
free time
I was born
Pronouns: you; I; who; myself; them
7
Simple sentences using circumstances of time, place and
manner:yet;Inmy free time; at a fast food restaurant;and using
expanded noun groups:, some problems with spelling words in
6
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level (capital to begin and full
stop/question mark/exclamation mark
to end
• Basic punctuation (capitals for proper
nouns and commasin lists)
English; the people you should vote for
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and
Complex sentences using:
•
subordinating (binding) conjunctions: when; if; so that; So
•
relative clauses: Who work in Malaysia
•
projection:I thing (think)
Uses full stops and capitals with varying consistency: Mr Thomas
7
6
July 2014, p36
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
o tense
Processes
•
Doing: works; goes; earned; buy; make; watching
•
Saying:
•
Sensing: love; like; thing(think) listen (Behavioural process)
•
Relating: is; am; have; used to be
Colloquialism: have a shot at
Simple tenses for most common regular and some irregular verbs: was,
6
am trying
• elaborated tenses: am trying
Demonstrates some control of complex verb groups
multi-word verb groups: love to play; like to open; trying to
6
get;stop talking (could be considered verb + gerund)
negatives: my sister don’t goes
modals: can make, can listen, should stop talking; should vote
for
o subject/verb agreement
Demonstrates inconsistent of subject-verb agreement: who work(s);
…sister don’t goes…
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner(quality and means)
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
• Nominalisations
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly
Circumstances
• place: In Malaysia
• time: yet; In my free time; anymore; now and then; some time
• manner:
o quality: well
•
accompaniment:with my brother
•
cause: for my father and mother
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): people; time; money; shop; restaurant
• possessives as pointers: my; own
• numeratives: five; some; a lot of
• describers: brown; new
• classifiers: free; sports; mp3
6
6/7
Nominalisation: weakness
Evaluative language
• Feelings: my weakness; I have some problems; love to play; I
don’t get well with brother
• judgments of people (characters):
• evaluation of things: OK; some things keep us fighting
6
Modality:should stop, should vote,
Directlty: I think; I like
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
Shop, restaurant, Chinese, English, Malay, family, father,
housewife, sport, basketball
6
• spells words with regular spelling patterns: you, was, have, speak,
food, brother, play, Chinese, shot
6
• recognizes and spells words with common base: talking, used,
spelling
July 2014, p37
AARON: PERSONAL RESPONSE
Death it suck and is bad because the person you miss and like past away. I going to write to you and
tell what happened to Clementine when Harris was babysitting Clementine and Julius. It was Sunday
before Harris interview with the entrance traineeship ranger department of parks and widlife Julius
want to play hide and seek with Harris and Clementine Julius make Harris count to five hundred so
that Julius and Clementine can go and hide. Juluis think is funny he hides in the frigerator almost the
time that Harris finds clementine in the frigerator it was to late to save Clementine because
clementine had die of coolness. Clementine Helen and Juius when to the hospital, after they there at
the hospital. The doctor said that Clementine was die. Harris was mad at himself because it was his
reprehensible to look after Clementine, I think death is a bad thing because the person you miss and
love is die but I think is not so bad after all. People have to die soon or later. it is all part of life. Most
of the people in the world have to die or pass away it so not bad. I think Harris should not blame him
self for what happen to Clementine because is was an miss furture thing to happen to Clemintine if
Juluis did not play hide and seek and Julius should tell Harris to count to five hundred. I hope that at
the end of the story book Harris will be better and not think about what happen to Clementine and that
Helen McMillan will forgive him for what he had done and that Juluis will be a good litter Kid. And he
should learn to be nice to all the people and not be a bad Kid that he is no in, maybe he should tell his
mother that he put Clementine in the refigerator. Helen should had listen to what Harris have to said
to her and not get mad at him for putting Clementine in the frigerator. I don’t think it was Harris Fork
that Clementine death. Harris did not like it to happen to him either because he likeClemetine very
much.
July 2014, p38
Student Name:
Aaron
Level:
6
Text Type: PERSONAL
RESPONSE
Composing learning area texts
Level
NA
Oral interactions and presentations
NA
Using visuals
Written texts
Writes a series of statements recounting events and includes some
reflection
6
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Writes a series of statements connected to the topic but all in one
paragraph
6
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers
Text and paragraph openers:Death
6
Sentence openers:I; It; Julius; Helen; The doctor; People
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution
Pronouns: it; you; I; himself; him; he; her
6
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level (capital to begin and full
stop/question mark/exclamation mark
to end
• Basic punctuation (capitals for proper
nouns and commasin lists)
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
Simple sentences using circumstances of time: before Harris
interview,to (too) late ,soon (sooner) or later and usingexpanded
noun groups: the entrance traineeship ranger,
7
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and,
but
Complex sentences using:
•
subordinating (binding) conjunctions: so that; because; if; when
•
relative clauses: …that he put….;The doctor said that…
•
projection: I thing (think), I hope
Generally accurate although difficulties with punctuation of compound
and complex sentences
Processes
•
Doing: write; play; count; go; hides; save; die
•
Saying: tell; said
•
Sensing: miss; like; blame; hope; learn; forgive
•
Relating: is; was; have; happened
6
7
July 2014, p39
o tense
Simple tenses for most common regular and some irregular verbs: was,
am trying
• Verb groups
o elaborated tenses: am trying; was babysitting
o multi word groups:going to write; want to play
o modals and negatives: should not blame;should tell; should
6
learn; not be a …; not get mad; did not like
o subject/verb agreement
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner(quality,means,
comparison)
o matter
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
Demonstrates generally consistent control of subject verb agreement
with simple, everyday, subjects and for a small range of verbs
Circumstances
• place: in the frigerator (refrigerator);at the hospital
• time: almost the time; to (too) late; soon (sooner) or later
• accompaniment: with Harris and Clementine
• manner:
o means:of coolness
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): Harris interview, the entrance traineeship
•
•
•
•
ranger department of parks and wildlife, the people in the
world
possessives as pointers: my, own
numeratives: most of, five hundred, part of, all
describers: bad, good
classifiers: entrance traineeship, story
• Nominalisations
Death, coolness, reprehensible (responsibility)
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
Evaluative language
• Feelings: mad, miss furture(unfortunate), nice
• judgments of people (characters):funny, be better, good, bad
• evaluation of things: suck
• Modality
Modality: can go; have to die; should not blame; should tell;
• Expressing opinions directly
6
7
6
should had (have to )listen; should learn
Directly:I think, I hope
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
Interview, entrance traineeship ranger, babysitting, hospital
6
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
• spells high frequency words with regular spelling patterns:and, the,
not, will
spells high frequency long vowel words: five, good, hide, save
consonant blends: blame
consonant digraphs: think, when, what, with
vowel digraphs: seek, count
6
• recognizes and spells words with common base: funny, hides,
coolness, sooner, putting, going
• attempts unknown words phonetically:fork(fault)
July 2014, p40
JIMMY: DESCRIPTION
The room which I’m living in Adelaide is very comfortable. Every morning the sunshine can cover the
whole room through the window. The single bed are located in the centre of room. There are two
lamps at the each side of bed. The desk is behind my bed. On my desk, there are several books on it.
There’re no more things in my room, because it’s not too large to have a capacity of other things.
In hometown, my room is very large, but also very disorderly. I am not good at organised my things.
So furniture in my room is simple. in order to afraid me braking or destroying bed. A bed is in the
corner. As a student the most important things are books so the most of room belongs to them. They
are stocked in a big bookstore.
Although they’re located in different conntries, I like both of them still.
July 2014, p41
Student : JIMMY
LEVEL:
7
TEXT TYPE:
DESCRIPTION
Composing learning area texts
Level
Using visuals
Written texts
NA
Text was independently written, following a model provided to
structure the task into paragraphs
7
Writes a simple description
7
Text knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers (headings/
sub-headings; introductions and topic
sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers, including using
passive voice to change what is
foregrounded
Text and paragraph openers using circumstances at the beginning:
Every morning; As a student; In hometown; On my desk
7-8
Sentence openers using subordinate clauses: Although they’re
located in differentcountriesandpersonalpronouns: I; They
Passive voice: are located, are stocked
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity using
circumstances and/or expanded noun
groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capitals to begin and full
stops, question marks or exclamation marks
to end
• Capitals for proper nouns
• Apostrophes of contraction and possession
• Commas in lists, between describers, after
text connectives, after foregrounded
phrases and clauses
• Quotation marks to indicate speech, quotes
and other elements such as a title or name
• Punctuation for direct speech
Simple sentences using circumstances: Every morning; through the
window; in the centre of room; each side ofbed;in a big
bookstore; using expanded noun groups: the most important
things
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: but
also, so
7
Complex sentences using subordinating (binding) conjunctions:
because; in order to
non-finite clauses with varying accuracy: to have a capacity of other
things; in order to afraid (prevent) me braking or destroying
bed
Mostly uses capitals, full stops and apostrophes correctly
Commas after text connectives: On my desk; In hometown
7-8
July 2014, p42
Words and word groups
• Processes (verb groups/phrases)
Processes
•
Doing: living;cover; located; organised; braking;destroying;
stocked
•
•
• Tense
7
Sensing: liked
Relating: is; are; to have; belongs
Choice and formation of tense
Demonstrates control of choice and formation of tense for a range of
verbs.
Shows control of simple present and present continuous
• verbs groups:
o elaborated tenses:I’m living
o modals and negatives: can cover, I am not
• Subject/verb agreement
Subject-verb agreement
• some control of subject/verb agreement the single bed
7
arelocated
Words and word groups
• Circumstances (adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrases)
Words and word groups
• Noun groups/phrases
• Plurals
• Articles: indefinite (a/an) and definite (the)
• Nominalisations
Circumstances
• place: In Adelaide; behind my bed; in the corner
• time: Every morning
• manner: As a student
7
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): sunshine; room; desk; books
• possessives as pointers: mydesk;my room
• numeratives: twolamps;several books
• describers: a bigbookstore;differentconntries
• classifiers: single bed
• qualifiers using relative clause:which I’m living in Adelaide
7-9
Nominalisations: capacity
Expressing opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: (expressing feelings
and emotions; judgements of people and
evaluation of things)
• Varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly and indirectly
Evaluative language
• judgments of people (characters):I am not good at organized my
things.(likely to be Affect ie feelings)
• evaluation of things: very comfortable, very disorderly
• varied intensity:themost important things
7
Word knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
• high frequency sight words: bed; can; my
• high frequency long vowel words: books; room
• containing consonant blends: desk; lamps
• containing consonant digraphs: the; sunshine; whole
• containing vowel digraphs:morning; because
• two-syllable words with common patterns: belongs; single
• unknown words based on sound and/or visual patterns: conntries
6
July 2014, p43
JIMMY: NARRATIVE (FABLE)
July 2014, p44
JIMMY: NARRATIVE (FABLE)
Ant’s Story
Have you heard ant’s world? Let me introduce a person “Harry”. A funny ant, he can show you the
life about himself and his story.
Unlike on the ground the environment doesn’t have fresh air, no sunshine, without rapid stream. So
Harry always like staying on the ground and far away his friends and family.
One day, he sat under the tree to be in a daze. He won’t be a common people like his friend which
everyday just do the same thing in whole day He hate doing that. He always said. “If I were Human
being. I’m willing to do everything”
Suddenly a strange idea occured in his brain, “Right go to the city in which people worked in. To see
how the human beings to live and do.”said he. Yes, he is successful.
When he arrived in the city he change his mind quickly. Because wherever he went, he can’t dodge
people’s feet. Despite trying his best, he can’t hear everything still. There’re so many cars and
endless noisy.
During the trip, he realize which one is better between his country and human’s. Unfortunately he
was injured. He lost one of his arm and another one is in plaster.
He feel sorry, not only his family but also for all over the people. He said he loves his family and his
own country whatever it is rich or poor, big or small, interesting or boring. “It’s the sure life”, said he.
I think he right. You should respect the surroundings, because it belongs to you. Thank you for
reading.
July 2014, p45
Student Name:
Jimmy
Level:
7
Genre:
Narrative
Composing learning area texts
Level
Using visuals
Written texts
NA
Text was independently written with orientation, complication and
resolution, following conversation about structure.
7
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Independently writes short narrative
7
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers (headings/
sub-headings; introductions and topic
sentences)
o text connectives
Text and paragraph openers: circumstances of time and manner at the
beginning: One day; During the trip; Suddenly
Text knowledge
o sentence openers, including using
passive voice to change what is
foregrounded
Text cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o substitution
7-8
Text connectives: So
Sentence openers using subordinate clauses: Because wherever he
went;and personal pronouns: He; I; You
Passive voice: was injured
Pronouns: you, me, he, his, I, another one, himself
8
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity using
circumstances and/or expanded noun
groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Simple sentences using circumstances: on the ground, in hisbrain
and expanded noun groups: a strange idea, rapidstream, so many
cars
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and;
not only…but also; or
7-8
Complex sentences using subordinating (binding) conjunctions:
If;Despite; because
arange of basic non-finite clauses: to be in a daze; despite trying his
best;and
relative clauses with varying accuracy: like his friend which everyday
just do the same thing
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capitals to begin and full
stops, question marks or exclamation marks
to end
• Capitals for proper nouns
• Apostrophes of contraction and possession
• Commas in lists, between describers, after
text connectives, after foregrounded
phrases and clauses
• Quotation marks to indicate speech, quotes
and other elements such as a title or name
• Punctuation for direct speech
Words and word groups
• Processes (verb groups/phrases)
Mostly uses capitals, full stops and apostrophes correctly
7-8
Commas after text connectives: On my desk, ; In hometown,
Begins to use quotation marks for direct speech: “Right go to the
city….to live and do” said he; “It’s the sure life” said he.
Processes
•
Doing: show; sat; go; do; dodge; injured; lost; reading
•
Saying: said
•
Sensing: heard; like, hate, thought, hear; realize; feel;
•
7
loves;respect;
Relating: is, was, have, belongs, occurred (relationship
between idea and brain)
July 2014, p46
Student Name:
Jimmy
• Tense
Level:
7
Genre:
Narrative
Demonstrates control of choice and formation of tense for a range of
verbs.
Shows control of simple present, simple past and simple future tense:
• irregular verbs: sat, went, said
• verb groups:
o elaborated tenses:I’m willing;
o multi-word verb groups: like staying,
o modals and negatives:
canshow;shouldrespect;can’tdodge;doesn’thave;won’t
be
• Subject/verb agreement
Words and word groups
• Circumstances (adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrases)
Words and word groups
• Noun groups/phrases
• Plurals
• Articles: indefinite (a/an) and definite (the)
Subject-verb agreement
• some control of subject/verb agreement: He feel sorry
7
Circumstances
• place: on the ground; far away; under the tree; to the city.
• time:One day; in whole day
• manner: quickly; in a daze.
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): ant; ground; stream; plaster; people
• possessives as pointers: his friend;hisstory
• numeratives: many cars; one of his arm
• describers: freshair;rapidstream;strange idea
• classifiers: commonpeople;humanbeing
• qualifiers using relative clause:which everyday just do the same
7
7-9
thing in whole day
• Nominalisations
Expressing opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: (expressing feelings
and emotions; judgements of people and
evaluation of things)
• Varying intensity
• Modality
• Subjective/objective
• Expressing opinions directly and indirectly
Nominalisations: surroundings, environment, life
Evaluative language
• judgments of people (characters):a funny ant; common people
• evaluation of things: doesn’t have fresh air; no sunshine;
•
•
•
•
7
without rapid stream; a strange idea
varied intensity: so many cars and endless noisy
modality: should respect, always like staying, I’m willing to
Subjective/objective: I think
Expressing opinion directly: You should respect
Word knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
NA
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
Spelling
• topic words: story; environment; ground; country; city
• frequently used irregular words: heard; friend; idea; whole
• infrequently used irregular words: daze; surroundings
• compound words: everything; everyday; whatever
• containing consonant digraphs:, sunshine; whole; successful
• containing vowel digraphs:hear; because; reading
• two syllable words with common patterns:belongs; boring;
7
people
July 2014, p47
Ngoc Creative Response (Personal letter)
Dear Mum and dad.
On the trip to Hogwarts. I met Ron Weasly and then Harry
potter. When I was looking for Neville’s Toad but we didn’t
find it till we got to Hogwarts. When we got to Hogwarts we
all were put into little boats. They moved by themselves to
a big castle witch is called Hogwarts. When we reached
Hogwarts we were sent to a big room with all the teachers
and students in Hogwarts waiting for us. There was a big
ceremony to put us in our house. How we were sorted was by
an old hat witch they called the sorting hat. Me, Ron and
Harry got chosen to go to Gryffindor. The dorms look very
nice and there is a fire place in the common-room.
At Hogwarts most of the teachers are very nice. I got very
good marks for my test and I’m also one of the smart people
in my class. I can’t wait to get my marks for my end of year
test. I bet I get really good marks.
Most people can’t wait to see Harry play quidditch next
week against slytherin. I don’t now why people are so mad
about it, it’s just a bunch of people trying to throw a ball
through a hoop to get ten points and a seeker like Harry
has to chase a little golden ball and if they catch it they
win the game and score 150 points for their house.
I’m really looking forward to see you on the school
Holidays.
Love Hermione.
July 2014, p48
Student Name:
Ngoc
Level:
8
Text Type:Personal
Letter
Composing learning area texts
Level
NA
Using visuals – particularly in multi modal
texts
Written texts
Independently written following the reading of JK Rawling’s “Harry Potter
and the Philosopher’s Stone”
8
Opening paragraphs describing events and life, appropriate closing.
8
Circumstances of time and place to orientate paragraphs: On the trip; At
Hogwarts.
Topic sentences also used for paragraph openers: Most people; I.
8
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers, including using
passive voice to change what is
foregrounded
Text Connectives: not evident
Sentence opener: (How we)were sorted; (Me, Ron and Harry)got
chosen.
Passive voice: were put; is called; were sent; were sorted
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o demonstratives
Pronouns: Pronouns: I; we; themselves; it; us; our; they; my; their;
you
8
o substitution
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capital to begin and full
stop /question mark/exclamation mark to
end
• Basic punctuation
o capitals for proper nouns
o apostrophes (contraction and
possession)
o commas in lists, between describers
and after text connectives
• Beyond basic
o quotation marks
(fordirectspeech,quotes, other such as
title and name)
o commas after foregrounded phrases
and clauses with direct speech
Using circumstances to develop simple sentences: On the trip to
Hogwarts;When we got to Hogwarts
Using expanded noun groups:little boats; most of the teachers; my
marks for my end of year test
8
Coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and; and then; but
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions: when; till; if
Relative clause: witch(which) is called; which they called
Since Algerian font is used all letters are capitals. Some full stops
wrongly placed.
See above
8
I’m; didn’t; can’t;
Comma used in the list: me, Ron and Harry
July 2014, p49
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
Processes
•
Doing: met; looking; find; got (arrived); put; moved; reached;
sent; waiting; sorted; chosen; go; look; got (achieved); play;
chase; catch; win; score;
•
•
8
Saying:
Sensing (thinking and feeling): bet (believe/know); don’t now
(know)
Relating: was; is; are; iscalled;the dorms look (appear) very
•
nice
o tense
Choice and formation of tense
• shows control of simple present, simple past and simple future tense
and correctly forms past tense of the most common irregular verbs:
(Present) look; is; are; bet; get; catch; win; score; (Past) met; got;
8
moved; reached; put
• verb groups:
o elaborated tenses:was looking; were sent; were sorted;
got(were) chosen
o multi-word verb groups: can’t wait to get; can’t wait to see;
trying to throw
o modals and negatives: has to chase; didn’t find; can’t wait
o subject/verb agreement
Subject-verb agreement
after ‘there’, where verb needs to agree with what follows: correct in this
text
7-8
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner (quality, means and
comparison)
o matter
o cause
o role
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
Circumstances
• place: into little boats; to a big castle; to a big room; to
8
Gryffindor; in the common room; through a hoop
• time: on the trip..; next week; on the school holidays
• accompaniment: with all the teachers and students in Hogwarts
a big room with all the teachers in Hogwarts ; a big ceremony; a
sorting hat; very good marks; one of the most smart people in my
class; my end of year test; a bunch of people; a seeker like Harry; a
little golden ball.
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): Hogwarts; toad; castle; teachers and students;
•
8
ceremony; Gryffindor; common-room; Quidditch; Slytherin;
holidays.
possessives as pointers: Neville’s
numeratives: ten; 150
describers: little; big; old; good; smart;
classifiers:sorting; golden; school
•
•
•
• qualifiers
o using prepositional phrases (level 6 -8):
o using relative clause (level 9 and above):witch (sic) is called; witch
they called
• Nominalisations
Nominalisations: ceremony
July 2014, p50
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
Evaluative language
• feelings:
• judgments of people (characters): most smart; very nice; so mad
• evaluation of things: very nice; very good marks
• varied intensity: reallylookingforward to; so mad.
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly and
indirectly
Modality:can’t wait to….; has to chase;
Directly: Dear Mum and Dad; I don’t know why; love Hermione;
8
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
Uses the imaginative language of the Harry Potter series appropriately.
Shows some understanding of the personal letter format.
8
Spelling
• topic words: Hogwarts, Gryffindor, Quidditch, Slytherin
• regular words:reached, teachers, marks, smart, points
• words containing known letter clusters; called, chosen, people,
8
• Topic vocabulary
Spelling
through
• compound words: themselves; common-room
• generalisations: looking, moved, called, waiting, sorted, students,
dorms
Attempts to spell some words phonetically: witch (which)now (know)
July 2014, p51
NGOC: ARGUMENT
July 2014, p52
Student Name:
Ngoc
Level:
8
Text Type:
Argument
Level
Composing learning area texts
NA
Using visuals – particularly in multi modal
texts
Written texts
Independently written following extensive scaffolding and modeling
8
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Centre justified title. Appropriate paragraphing dealing with
culturally accepted format of argument: Opening paragraph stating
issue and position; paragraphs presenting separate arguments;
closing paragraph reiterating position.
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers, including using
passive voice to change what is
foregrounded
Topic subject words (nouns and non-finite clause) to open
paragraphs:school uniform; Uniform; Wearing a cap; Student
Appropriate paragraphing
8
Text connectives: Also; Therefore; as well
8
Passive voice to change what is foregrounded: (Wearing a cap or any
other headdress should)be allowed
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o demonstratives
o substitution
Pronouns: you; your (reference to reader/audience); it; its
8
Substitution: any other (head accessory)
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
Simple sentences using circumstances:at school
8
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
that; if; then; because
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capital to begin and full
stop /question mark/exclamation mark
to end
• Basic punctuation
o capitals for proper nouns
o apostrophes (contraction and
possession)
o commas in lists, between describers
and after text connectives
• Beyond basic
o quotation marks
(fordirectspeech,quotes, other such as
title and name)
commas after foregrounded phrases and
clauses and with direct speech
Complex sentences using subordinating (binding) conjunctions:so
o
Non-finite clause:to brush your hair as well, to dress (in
order) to impress
Relative clause:that you could….
Typed text has capital letters at beginning of all sentences and full
stops at end of sentences
8
Appropriate apostrophes for contractions:you’ll; shouldn’t;
doesn’t
Comma after text connective:Also,
July 2014, p53
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
o tense
Processes
•
Doing: wear, spending, to go out, cut, to brush
•
Sensing (thinking and feeling): know, like, think
•
Relating: be, is, have
8
Choice and formation of tense
• shows control of simple present, simple past and simple future
tense and correctly forms past tense of the most common
irregular verbs
• verb groups:
o elaborated tenses:will …wear, to go out (phrasal verb)
o multi-word verb groups: start to wear, to dress to impress
o modals and negatives: shouldn’t have to dress,
8
couldlet,shouldbeallowed, might have cut,
don’tlike,doesn’t absorb.
o subject/verb agreement
Subject-verb agreement
after ‘there’, where verb needs to agree with what follows:examples
correct except for one
7-8
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner (quality, means and
comparison)
o matter
o cause
o role
8
Circumstances
• place: in class; to school; at school
• time: each morning; on cold days; in the morning; in
summer
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): Uniform, a cap or any other head
• Nominalisations
Nominalisations: need, heat
Expressing Opinion and point of view
Evaluative language
• feelings:should like the way….; the way you don’t like
• judgments of people (characters):other students should like
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
• Modality
•
•
•
•
possessives as pointers: your hair
numeratives: halfan hour
describers: white; best; good; cold; blue
classifiers:head(accessory); school (colours)
you..; dress to impress
• evaluation of things: best clothes; good school
• varied intensity: much heat
Obligation is expressed throughout the text with the use of ‘should’
Expressing opinions directly and
indirectly
8
Modality:could le;, should be allowed;might have
cut;mightget;need to take time…. to brush
•
8
accessory
8-9
Directly:I think
July 2014, p54
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
8
• Topic vocabulary
Very little subject vocabulary is used other than words related to
school and uniforms; and obligation egcompulsory
Spelling
Spelling is correct
8
July 2014, p55
DOMINIC: WRITTEN PERSONAL RECOUNT
July 2014, p56
Student Name: Dominic
Composing learning area texts
Level:
9
Text Type:Personal
Recount
Using visuals – particularly in multi modal
texts
Written texts
Independently composed a logically ordered text
and demonstrated control of paragraphing.
Level
NA
9
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers, including using
passive voice to change what is
foregrounded
Independently written as first draft, chosen as an option following
the reading of ‘The Great GillyHopkins’.
8/9
Has included a Title; orientation and sequence of events.
Used Circumstances of time to begin paragraphs: The last
few weeks; On the first day of school
9
Foregrounded subordinate clauses: “As I was in the car…”; “As I
got closer to the school….”
Pronouns ‘I’ and ‘It’ used to open most sentences
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o demonstratives
o substitution
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capital to begin and full
stop /question mark/exclamation mark
to end
• Basic punctuation
o capitals for proper nouns
o apostrophes (contraction and
possession)
o commas in lists, between describers
and after text connectives
• Beyond basic
o quotation marks
(fordirectspeech,quotes, other such as
title and name)
o commas after foregrounded phrases
and clauses and with direct speech
Pronouns:I; me; she;it;my
Demonstratives: those (nerves);these; that
Substitution:N/E
9
Using circumstances to develop simples sentences: On the first
day of school…; As I got closer to the school…
Using expanded noun groups: …school, High school;
NB Increasing complexity in a simple sentence is also
demonstrated by use of metaphor: (racing) faster than Cathy
Freeman.; …. faster than a train;
9
Coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and; but
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions: because; when; as
Non-finite clause:N/E
Relative clause:that I have ever experienced
Mostly correct punctuation with capital letters at beginning of
sentences and full stops at end. Capital letters used for some
circumstances ‘In the car’ and ‘In the future’mid-sentence.
Cathy Freeman; Primary School
I’ve; wasn’t; didn’t;
8-9
Comma used in complex sentence where‘that’isellipsed
Quotation marks are used appropriately but the text enclosed is
not correct and appears like reported speech not direct speech.
July 2014, p57
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
Processes
•
Doing: left; came; experienced; to explode; to erupt; hit;
•
•
•
o tense
9
was racing; to blow up; got used to; get rid of; got
closer(colloquialism for ‘neared’)
Saying: will tell; said; was saying
Sensing : thought; wanted; felt; knew; hear; wished; like
to become; hope to be
Relating: was; were; will be; ‘ve got; is
Choice and formation of tense
• shows control of simple present, simple past and simple future
tense and correctly forms past tense of the most common
irregular verbs: when I left …. and came(sic) to High school.
Would expect both verbs to be in past egleft…… and …… went..;
I still wished I didn’t have to come here, should be ‘wish’
• verb groups:
o elaborated tenses:have…experienced; have been doing;
8/9
would be;
o
multi-word verb groups: going to explode; wanted to go;
got used to; like to become; hope to be; to dress to
impress (not considered as two clauses but combine to
o
o subject/verb agreement
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner (quality, means and
comparison)
o matter
o cause
o role
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
Nominalisations
make meaning and are not separate meanings. - In order to
impress I dress is not the meaning. Could also be considered
as a colloquialism)
modals and negatives: would be; wasn’t; didn’t have to;
Subject-verb agreement
Demonstrates some control of subject-verb agreement: ‘The
thought of coming to high school was terrifying’; ‘My worst subject
is Maths…’
9
Circumstances
• place: High School , outside, here
• time: when I left Primary School, On the first day of
school, in my life; finally; any second; in the future
• accompaniment: with homework
• manner:
o quality:N/E
o means:N/E
o comparison:like a volcano; faster than a train; like a bomb
• matter: about it
• cause: N/E
• role: N/E
9
Noun groups:The most nerve racking day; The last few weeks
of the school holidays; the thought of coming to high school;
all these nerves building up inside of me; homework up to
my ears; a bomb ready to blow up; all the teachers and the
homework; my worst subject
• key nouns (things): school; school holidays; homework;
teachers; subject; chef
• possessives as pointers: my
• numeratives: few; first
• describers: nerve-racking; worst
• classifiers:school(holidays)
9
• qualifiers:
o using prepositional phrases:the last few weeks of the school
holidays
o using relative clause: (that) I have ever experienced….
Nominalisations: Life; Thought
July 2014, p58
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
Evaluative language
• feelings:terrifying; felt terrible; happy
• judgments of people (characters):
• evaluation of things: the most nerve-racking weeks; High
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly and
indirectly
Modality:have to; could; will
Expressing opinion directly: ‘it wasn’t as bad as I thought’, ‘I
thought I was going to explode’
School would be so hard; wasn’t as bad; worst
• varied intensity : the most; worst; so hard
9
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic and subject specific vocabulary
Spelling
nerve racking; Primary School; High School; terrifying;
Volcano; erupt; homework; teachers; Maths; English
Spelling
topic words: nerve racking
frequently used, irregularly spelt words: building;
experienced
-
9
9
compound words: homework;
words with:
complex but common patterns:
school; successful
silent letters:
knew; bomb
homophones:
through; hear
prefixes and suffixes added to a common base word:
successful
July 2014, p59
DOMINIC: WRITTEN NEWS REPORT
July 2014, p60
July 2014, p61
Student Name:
Dominic
Level:
9
Text Type:
News Report
Composing learning area texts
Using visuals – particularly in multi modal texts
Written texts
Independently written news report which has a number of stages, in
logical order. Uses paragraphs with some control on basis of change
of topic.
Level
NA
9
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers (headings/
sub-headings; introductions and topic
sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers, including using passive
voice to change what is foregrounded
Orientation to time, place, protagonists (characters) and events.
Sequence of events, followed by opinion.
8/9
Yesterday; Robert and his girlfriend; Robert’s girlfriend;
Human Services Minister;
Appropriate headings: Title; Newspaper; Date; Issue; Summary.
9
Foregrounded subordinate clauses: “Yesterday on the steps of
Parliament House two teenagers named Robert who’s 17 and
his girlfriend Robyn….”; “I think also that if Robyn is
pregnant…..”
Text connectives:(I think) alsothat.
Personal pronouns as sentence openers: I think; I feel sorry; We
just came past here; .
Passive voice: were seen
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o demonstratives
o substitution
Accurate use of a range of reference items.
8/9
Pronouns: his; they; we; it; who; she; you; I; their; herself; her; there
(their).
Demonstratives: this nonsense; this; these programs
Substitution: N/E
July 2014, p62
Level
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity using
circumstances and/or expanded noun
groups
Circumstances and or expanded noun groups: This text contains no
single clause (simple) sentence.
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
Coordinating (linking) conjunctions: but; and; or.
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions: because; before; if;
8/9
Non-finite clause: to get high; to have a ‘choof’
Relative clause: who’s 17; (that) they had found a nice place;
that if Robert and Robyn “choof” paint every day;
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capital to begin and full stop
/question mark/exclamation mark to end
• Basic punctuation
o capitals for proper nouns
o apostrophes (contraction and possession)
o commas in lists, between describers and
after text connectives
• Beyond basic
o quotation marks (fordirectspeech,quotes,
other such as title and name)
o commas after foregrounded phrases and
clauses and with direct speech
Capital letter to begin sentences and full stops to end sentences
7-8
Parliament; Robert; Human Services Minister, Dean Brown;
Uses apostrophes in contractions with varying accuracy: Who’s (who
is); couldn’t; it’s; don’t; missing from Im (I’m).
Appropriately uses commas in lists:…to get high, which was
clearly…
Correct use of quotation marks for direct speech
Correct use of comma after direct speech and before ‘Robert
explained’
Begins to use commas appropriately after foregrounded phrases of
time: Yesterday,
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
Uses some more technical and/or precise verbs to express processes.
•
Doing: trying to get out of; save; found; came
•
Saying: said; explained, added(said also)
•
Sensing (thinking and feeling): thought; think; feel; know;
•
o tense
8 - 10
don’t care
Relating: named; was; is; has had
Choice and formation of tense
• shows control of simple present, simple past and simple future
tense and correctly forms past tense of the most common irregular
verbs:
• verb groups:
o elaborated tenses:were huddled; had found; has had
o multi-word verb groups: trying to get out of; were seen
9 - 10
sniffing; makes…feel; am going to die; try to do
o modals and negatives: couldn’t stop; don’t care; might try
to do; could die; will probably die; might die; should
stop
o subject/verb agreement
Demonstrates some control of subject/verb agreement: his
girlfriend Robyn, who’s; found a place to get high, which was;
It makes you feel nice
9
July 2014, p63
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings and
states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner (quality, means and
comparison)
o matter
o cause
o role
Includes Circumstances to provide details surrounding events using
more varied vocabulary:
• place: on the steps of Parliament; just metres away; inside;
Words and word groups
Noun groups: the steps of Parliament House; paint fumes from
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and definite
(the)
9 - 10
out of the cold; past here;
• time: yesterday; one day; everyday; very soon; every year
• accompaniment: N/E
• manner:
o quality:clearly visible; die from it
o means:from a plastic bag
• cause:
o reason: of the dangers
plastic bags; people walking by; the state government; alcohol
programs; paint inhaling; a bad impression of our present
youth; bad images to children; the threat posed to Robyn’s
child; the parent(s) of these two; thousands of lives
8 - 10
•
•
•
•
•
•
key nouns (things):
possessives as pointers: his girlfriend
numeratives: two teenagers; a lot of; thousands of lives
describers: good
classifiers: plasticbags
qualifiers
o using prepositional phrases (level 6 -8):from plastic bags;
especially children
o using relative clause (level 9 and above):who’s 17; who’s 16;;
who think(s) she is pregnant; that has been brought to my
attention
• Nominalisations
Nominalisations: impression; attention; threat; defects;
condition; happiness; bankruptcy; a life of crime; death;
common-sense
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly and indirectly
Uses a wider range of Evaluative language to express:
• feelings: nice and calm and drowsy; feel sorry
• judgments of people (characters):
• evaluation of things: a good place; doing harm; very bad; are bad,
full stop; a good idea; nonsense; cares about having a child
• varied intensity: clearly visible
8-9
Modality: couldn’t stop; might try; could die; will probably die; might
die; should stop; probably save;
Expressing opinions directly: I think; I feel; We….thought it was a
good place
Expressing opinions indirectly: Robyn who think she is pregnant;
Human Services Minister Dean Brown said that…….
July 2014, p64
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• Topic and subject specific vocabulary
Spelling
Teenage drug abuse; sniffing paint fumes; Inhaling; drug and
alcohol programs
Spelling
topic words: paint inhaling
frequently used, irregularly spelt words: thought; found
compound words: girlfriend;
words with:
complex but common patterns:
sniffing; huddled; fumes
silent letters:
high; thought; know
homophones:
two; past
prefixes and suffixes added to a common base word:
children
9
9
July 2014, p65
GRETEL: WRITTEN PERSONAL REFLECTION
IMAGE OF JESUS
Year 10 Religion
TASK: You are to present before the class your personal image of Jesus.
CRITERIA: Your presentation must
Include references to Mark's Gospel
/7
Show an understanding of Jesus' words and actions
/7
Be interesting and clear
/6
July 2014, p66
There are four gospels in the bible- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. They all show a different image of Jesus.
Matthew, Luke and John are similar, while Mark is totally different.
In Mark they show a suffering Christ, for example, ‘The temptation of Jesus.’ He suffered without nothing for
forty days in the dessert. Even when the devil tempted him, he still didn’t give in.
Also, in ‘The death of Jesus’ he died in the cross for us. He suffered just like us humans.
In my opinion, my image of Jesus in Mark is just a normal man. He does normal things like work for his father,
made friends and suffered. All humans suffer. He his showing us how to get through our problems by going
through it and doing something about it. For example, ‘Jesus stills a storm.’ The disciples all panicked and were
afraid. Jesus then said ‘Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?’ To me Jesus is telling us to have faith in him
and everything would be alright.
Another example is ‘temptations to sin.’ He is telling us to cut our hand off if it causes you to stumble. But he
doesn’t mean it liturally. He his saying that if you do something bad, take it away because its better having one
hand than having two than go to hell. He his helping us to live our life in a Christian way.
Therefore, my image of Jesus in the gospel of Mark is a normal man who suffered life like humans. This shows in
‘the temptation of Jesus’ and ‘the death of Jesus’ It shows that Jesus suffered in life and showed that we he got
thought it which is how we should go through it.
July 2014, p67
Student Name:
Gretel
Level:
10
Text Type: Personal
Reflection
Level
Composing learning area texts
NA
Using visuals – particularly in multi modal
texts
Written texts
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers, including using
passive voice to change what is
foregrounded
o
Text written in paragraphs with an introduction, conclusion and examples
from the bible to support the author’s point of view
9
Text and paragraph openers:In Mark; In my opinion; Another example
9
Text Connectives: Also; Therefore
Passive voice: is telling, (h)is saying, (h)is helping
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o demonstratives
o substitution
Pronouns: they; all; he; him; our; it; something; nothing; me; you
9
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Simple sentences using circumstances: without nothing, for forty days in
the dessert (sic); and or expanded noun groups: four gospels in the
bible; a different image of Jesus; forty days in the dessert(sic); My
image of Jesus in Mark.
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and, but
Complex sentences using:
•
subordinating (binding) conjunctions: while; if; because; than;
when
•
•
•
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capital to begin and full
stop /question mark/exclamation mark
to end
• Basic punctuation
o capitals for proper nouns
o apostrophes (contraction and
possession)
o commas in lists, between describers
and after text connectives
• Beyond basic
o quotation marks (for direct speech,
quotes, other such as title and name)
o commas after foregrounded phrases
and clauses and with direct speech
9
Non-finite clause: To get through our problems by going through
it and doing something…;
Relative clause: a normal man who suffered life like humans
Matthew; Mark Luke and John; Christian way
9
“The temptation of Jesus”; Jesus then said ‘Why are you afraid?
Have you still no faith?’
In my opinion,…
July 2014, p68
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
Processes
•
Doing: died; does; work; made; cut; stills; take; go; stumble;
•
•
•
o tense
helping
Saying: telling; saying; said
Sensing (thinking and feeling): suffered; tempted; panicked
Relating: are; show; is; were; have, be; causes; mean
Choice and formation of tense
• shows control of simple present, simple past and simple future tense and
correctly forms past tense of the most common irregular verbs: get;
made; said
10
• verb groups:
o elaborated tenses:(h)is showing (sic), is telling
o multi-word verb groups:, helping us to live
o modals and negatives: didn’t give in
o subject/verb agreement
9
Subject-verb agreement
after ‘there’, where verb needs to agree with what follows: There are four
gospels
9/10
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner (quality, means and
comparison)
o matter
o cause
o role
Circumstances
• place: In Mark; in the dessert (sic); in ”The death of Jesus”; in (on)
Words and word groups
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): image; Christ; way; image; gospel
• possessives as pointers: my; our
• numeratives: four; forty; one
• describers: suffering Christ; totally different; normal
• classifiers: Christian
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
the cross;
• time: for forty days; in life; still ; then
• manner:
o quality: alright; better; bad, for us
o means: without nothing (anything)
o comparison: in a Christian way; just like us humans; like
10
humans
• matter: about it
• angle: –to me
9
o using prepositional phrases (level 6 -8):of Jesus in the gospel of
Mark; in him
• Nominalisations
•
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly and
indirectly
Nominalisations: temptation; death
Evaluative language
• feelings: suffered; tempted; panicked; were afraid; to have faith
• judgments of people (characters):suffering; normal
• evaluation of things: normal; Christian
• varied intensity: all; totally; better
9
Modality: should
Directly: in my opinion; my image of Jesus; to me objectivity: They
show
July 2014, p69
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• topic and subject specific vocabulary
Spelling
Gospels; bible; image; suffering; tempted; death; humans; panicked;
faith; temptations; causes; Christian
10
Spelling
• topic words: gospels; image; tempted; death; panicked
• frequently used, irregularly spelt words: tempt, disciples
• words with
–
complex patterns: stumble different, panicked
–
words with silent letters: temptation
–
homophones: two, to
prefixes/suffixes: suffered, causes, helping
–
9
Errors: dessert (desert)
July 2014, p70
GRETEL: TEXT ANALYSIS
July 2014, p71
The classroom experiment in ‘the wave’ really showed the history class how the German
Nazis could dominate all Germans and carry out genocide in ‘the Jewish problem.’
Gordon High School was out of order and had no discipline at all. Students would come
in late and never did their homework. Because so many of them did it, even the teachers
had no control. Ben Ross decided to do an experiment in his history class to show how it
really felt and how Adolf Hitler had control. The students had no other choice to improve
so they tried this as their last option. For example, the football team kept loosing and
they thought they could give the wave a try since they ran out of ideas in improving and
were hopeless. It is just like ‘The Great Depression.’ People had no food and were
unemployed and would do anything to save themselves and their familie’s lives. And
many thought joining Hitler was their last choice in surviving.
Like the Nazis, the students got out of control because they were against non-wave
members. They tried to get people in the wave and the people that did not want to be in
the wave was disliked. But in the Nazi’s case, they were not only disliked, they were to
killed.
‘ … You say it could never happen again, but look how close you came. Threatening
those who wouldn’t join you, preventing non-wave members from sitting with you at
football games. Fascism isn’t something those other people did, it is right here, in all of
us.’ Ben Ross pg 104.
The students did not understand how the Nazi’s could just turn their backs on their
friends and neighbours and let them be persecuted. But since the students got them in
that position then they understood how it happened. They did not realized what they
were doing. They treated non-wave members like the Jews. Hitler didn’t like Jews
because they were not blonde and blue eyed but in this case, they didn’t like non-wave
members because they didn’t believe in the wave.
Therefore, the classroom experiment in ‘the wave’ really showed the history class how
the German Nazi’s could dominate all Germanns and carry out genocide on ‘the Jewish
problem.’
July 2014, p72
Student Name:
Gretel
Level:
10
Genre: Text
Analysis
Composing learning area texts
Level
Using visuals
Written texts
NA
Text has logically ordered paragraphs which incorporate supporting
details.
9
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Longer discussion text with an Introduction, three paragraphs with
reasons with a quote from the novel and a conclusion. Includes
information from a source.
10
Text cohesion
• Text and paragraph openers
• Text connectives
• Sentence openers
• Passive voice
Text and paragraph openers: The classroom; Gordon High School;
Like the Nazis; The students,
Text connectives: Therefore
Sentence openers: Ben Ross; The students; For example; People;
They were to killed(sic)
Text knowledge
11
Foregrounds phrases and clauses: Like the Nazis; Because so many of
them did it
Passive voice: was disliked, were to killed(sic)
Text cohesion
• Reference
o Pronouns
o Demonstratives
o Substitution
Pronouns: The, all, their, so many of them, it, an, his, they,
9
themselves
Demonstratives: this, them
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capitals to begin and full
stops, question marks or exclamation
marks to end
Basic punctuation
• Capitals for proper nouns
• Apostrophes of contraction and possession
• Commas in lists, between describers, after
text connectives
Beyond basic
• Punctuation for quotes and other
elements such as a title or name
• Commas after foregrounded phrases and
clauses
Simple sentences using circumstances: never, in his history class,
as their last option, just like the “The Great Depression” and or
expanded noun groups: The classroom experiment in “the wave”,
the history class, so many of them, the people that did not
want to be in the wave, not blonde and blue-eyed.
Compound sentences using coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and,
so, but, then
8-9
Complex sentences using:
•
subordinating (binding) conjunctions: since, because, even
•
non-finite clauses: to show how it really felt
•
relative clause: the people that did not want to be in the
wave
The Wave, German Nazis, The Great Depression, Ben Ross
In the Nazi’s case, their familie’s lives, German Nazi’s (sic)
incorrect.
8
“The Great Depression”, “the wave”, “…You say………, in all of
us” Ben Ross pg 104
Commas used appropriately after rhetorical conjunctions and at the
end of dependent clauses. Because so many of them did it, For
example, Like the Nazis, But in this case,
July 2014, p73
Words and word groups
• Verb and verb groups/phrases
Processes
•
Doing: dominate; did, improve; tried; save; killed;
•
•
• Tense
treated; persecuted
Sensing: thought; disliked; understand; understood;
realized; like; believe; felt;
Relating: showed; was; had; were; happened
Choice and formation of tense
• shows control of simple present, simple past and simple future
tense and correctly forms past tense of the most common
irregular verbs:
• verb groups:
o elaborated tenses: would come in; were doing
o multi-word verb groups: decided to do; tried to get; turn
9
your back on me
o modals and negatives: could dominate; did not want to
be
o though some errors likely: in improving (to improve)
• subject/verb agreement
Demonstrates some control but with some errors in subject verb
agreement: The people that did not want to be in the wave
7-8
was disliked.
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrases to express the
circumstances surrounding happenings and
states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner (quality, means and
comparison)
o matter
o cause
o role
Words and word groups
• Noun groups/phrases
• Plurals
• Articles: indefinite (a/an) and definite (the)
Circumstances
• place: in his history class; in the wave,
• time: never; late
• manner:
o quality: really; at all
o comparison: as their last option; like the Nazis; like the
9-12
Jews
• contingency-condition: in the Nazi’s case; in this case
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): experiment; genocide; discipline;
homework; People; members
• possessives as pointers: their; his
• numeratives: all; so many; no
• describers: last; blonde and blue-eyed
• classifiers: classroom; history; Jewish, German; football;
8
non-wave
• Nominalisations
• qualifiers using relative clause: the people that did not want
to be in the wave
Nominalisations: genocide; discipline; control; choice; option
Expressing opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: (expressing feelings
and emotions; judgements of people and
evaluation of things)
• Varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly and indirectly
Evaluative language
• feelings: disliked
• judgments of people (characters): out of control and had no
discipline at all; late and never did their homework; no
control; never did; were hopeless; were unemployed
• evaluation of things: no discipline;
9
Varied intensity: really showed, really felt
Modality: could dominate…; could never happen
Directly: You say…. But look how close you came
July 2014, p74
Word knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
Topic and subject-specific vocabulary: The German Nazis;
genocide; “the Jewish problem”; ‘The Great depression’;
Adolf Hitler; Nazis; persecuted
10
Chooses appropriately words that have different t meanings in
learning area contexts: the wave
Spelling
Spelling
• topic words: genocide; discipline; option; persecuted
• words that conform to ‘i’ before ‘e’: believe
• complex base words with prefixes and suffixes: hopeless,
10
disliked, non-wave
July 2014, p75
ESTELLE: TAXONOMIC INFORMATION REPORT
Year 9
July 2014, p76
Year Level: Year 9
July 2014, p77
Student Name: ESTELLE
Composing learning area texts
Level:11
Text Type: Taxonomic
Information Report
Level
NA
Using visuals – particularly in multi modal
texts
Written texts
Constructed a detailed, logically ordered text which elaborates on key
ideas with some confidence.
9
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers
(headings/ sub-headings;
introductions and topic sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers, including using
passive voice to change what is
foregrounded
Generalised statement, facts set out under sub-headings
Sub-headings used to organise information; brief introduction with
nominalisations generally used as paragraph openers
Writes more developed topic sentences that help reader predict what is
to come
Text Connectives: For example;
10 - 11
Foregrounded phrases and subordinate clauses: By ringing a bell; In early
1950; Each time some meat powder was placed in the dogs mouth
The mother can be replaced by; Hatchlings can become imprinted
to; a macaque monkey was observed; the command is given
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o demonstratives
o substitution
Uses reference items that refer to large segments of text: He observed
that the newly hatched birds form a strong and irresistible bond with the
first moving object……….. Usually this is their mother.
10
Pronouns: some; it; they; he; their; them; another; his; its;
Demonstratives: this
July 2014, p78
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Simple – with increasing complexity
using circumstances and/or expanded
noun groups
• Compound Coordinating (linking)
conjunctions
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions
Non-finite clauses
Relative clauses
Circumstances and/or expanded noun groups: many different learning
types; other objects or individuals; A Russian scientist called Ivan Pavlov;
By ringing a bell
11 - 12
Coordinating (linking) conjunctions: and, or, and then, but
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions: before, when, by
Non-finite clauses- uses non-finite clauses to express
interpretation/comment or cause: by imitating their parents; by
ringing a bell;to describe the behaviour he observed in ducklings;
in training a dog to obey simple commands;
Relative clauses- uses relative clauses to add a comment or make causal
connection: A dog that has never heard the command ‘sit’; that the newly
hatched birds
Punctuation
• Sentence level: capital to begin and full
stop /question mark/exclamation mark
to end
• Basic punctuation
o capitals for proper nouns
o apostrophes (contraction and
possession)
o commas in lists, between describers
and after text connectives
• Beyond basic
o quotation marks (for direct speech,
quotes, other such as title and name)
o commas after foregrounded phrases
and clauses and with direct speech
Uses most capitals correctly; misses capital for first word after subheading; uses full stops correctly but twice uses comma instead of full
stop
Capitals used correctly for proper nouns
Missed apostrophe for possession in the animals response
the command ‘sit’; capitals used appropriately to highlight sub-headings
11
But when the command is given, at the same time, its….
Begins to use quotation marks for highlighted words: the young will
bond and become “imprinted” to it
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
Processes – uses a wide range of vocabulary to express shades of
meaning:
•
Doing:, imitating, illustrated, salivate, obey, respond,
•
•
•
•
o subject/verb agreement
11
replaced, copies, occurs, transferred
Saying: describe
Sensing (thinking and feeling):the young will bond and become
“imprinted” to it ; learn; observed; knew; solve; visualise
Relating: called; are; is; become
Subject-verb agreement
after ‘there’, where verb needs to agree with what follows: some is
10
innate, some is learned; There are many different learning types
July 2014, p79
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings
and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner (quality, means and
comparison)
o matter
o cause
o role
Circumstances– provides details surrounding events , using more varied
vocabulary:
• place: in the dog’s mouth;
• time: at the early development of an organism; within a time of
9 - 14
around 36 hours; in our everyday lives; each time; at the same
time; next time
• accompaniment: with the first moving object,
• manner:
o quality: gentley(gently)
o means: by other objects or individuals; from its mistakes;
by ringing a bell
• contingency: even without meat powder in his mouth
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
Noun groups– uses expanded noun groups to express shades of meaning
and more specialized knowledge:
• key nouns (things): types; organism; bond; object
• combining and contrasting describers: a strong and irresistible
11
bond;
• classifiers: An Australian scientist; moving object
• qualifiers
o
using relative clause: the behaviour (which) he observed
in ducklings, the behavior (which was) observed from
another animal, a dog that has never heard the
command ‘sit’; animals that solve problems; An
Austrian scientist (who was) called Konrad Lorenz;
• Nominalisations
Nominalisations: uses a growing range of nominalisations with
grammatical accuracy to:
begin to shift from a focus on people and things to one of
abstraction: development; solutions
summarise complex processes: imitation; associative learning;
-
trial and error; problem solving
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
Evaluative language
• feelings: strong and irresistible bond, gentley(gently)
• judgments of people (characters):It didn’t take long before the
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly and
indirectly
Modality– expresses modality with a greater range of language resources
beyond modal verbs :
•
adverbs: usually, never, within a time of around 36
10 - 11
whole troop knew how to do this.; Animals that solve problems
visualize the situation and think over the solutions.
• evaluation of things: problem solving is a complex way of learning
• varied intensity: only
hours
•
processes: would, may have
Uses a narrow range of ways to appropriately express opinion:
•
directly (subjectively): some are simple and some are
•
hard; A dog that has never heard the command ‘sit’ will
not responde
indirectly (more objectively): He observed that the newly
hatched birds form a strong and irresistible bond with
the first moving object they came into contact with
• Begins to use expressions of personal comment: some are simple
and some are hard
July 2014, p80
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• topic and subject-specific vocabulary
11
Imprinting; stimulus; visualise; associative learning
Uses the varied specialist and everyday meanings of a range of common
words: object, solutions
Spelling
Spells correctly:
•
multi-syllabic words ending in:
ty: ability
•
difficult subject-specific words and words with Greek and Latin
roots: techniques; behaviour; development; scientist
11
July 2014, p81
ESTELLE: HISTORICAL RECOUNT (NEWS FORMAT)
Australia Attacks
By Estelle
On 21st July, Australian involvement in the
battle for the Kokoda Trail started. It began
when the Japanese landed in Papua.
The track was only easy on the eastern side
through Gorari and Oivi. In the other places, it
was very hard work for both the Japanese and
Australian troops as the mountains were rising
to over 2,000 meters. The mountains were very
high and remarkably steep. Much of the track
was through rainforest, which enclosed the
narrow path between the thick bushes. Men
were extremely dirty, hungry, tired and itchy
while being bitten from mosquitoes and many
other insects in the bushes. It was like this from
July to November 1942.
A force of 1,800 Japanese with lots of training
landed between Gona and Buna. Having
already invaded other Asian countries, the
Japanese troops proved to be better jungle
fighters than the Australians. Even though the
Japanese were attacked by allied aircraft, as
experienced fighters the Japanese advanced
rapidly up the track.
Except for the US air force, most of the fighting
was done by the Australian troops. The brave
Fuzzy Wuzzy people, who were an enormous
help to the Australian troops, were also
January 1943
important in the fight during the Kokoda Trail
battle. Knowing their way around the Kokoda
Trail and how to fight, they were excellent
fighters.
On 29th July, the Japanese troops completed
the capture of Kokoda. By early August, the
Japanese troops were desperate for food
supplies and ammunition as their resources
were running out. In early August these
soldiers got to within 40 kilometers of Port
Moresby, which they had been planning to
take over for a long time, before the Australian
troops began attacking the Japanese.
All the fighting took place in tropical heat and
rain. This greatly affected both sides. There
were diseases being spread around, which
resulted in thousands of troops being infected
with malaria, dengue fever and dysentery.
Many Japanese and Australian troops died
during the fairly long battle of the Kokoda Trail
but it was worth it or else the Japanese
occupation of the whole of Papua was likely.
The invasion of Australia would have then been
a real chance.
view of the country in the Kokoda area
July 2014, p82
Student Name: ESTELLE
Composing learning area texts
Level:
Using visuals – particularly in multi
modal texts
Written texts
11
Text Type: Historical
recount (News Format)
Effective choice of size and bolding for centered headline;
appropriate use of columns, photo with caption, by-line and
date for this text type. Also added appropriate photograph.
Independently composed a logically ordered text of about 250
words with 4 paragraphs.
Level
10 - 11
10 - 11
Appropriately constructed a more complex introduction and
topic sentences and a basic concluding paragraph.
Text Knowledge
Organisational structures of learning
area texts
Described different experiences of people and significance of
people and events in bringing about change, incorporating
appropriate visuals.
10 - 11
Recounted a series of events and included some summative
commentary , reflection and evaluation.
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers (headings/
sub-headings; introductions and topic
sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers, including using
passive voice to change what is
foregrounded
Wrote a developed introductory paragraph.
11
Descriptive foregrounded phrases:
st
time: On 21 July; By early August
Text Connectives: Even though
Passive Voice: The Japanese were attacked by allied aircraft;
Most of the fighting in Papua was done by the Australian troops.
Foregrounded generalised/abstract noun groups: Australian
involvement; A force; Most of the fighting; The invasion of
Australia
Text Cohesion
• Reference
o pronouns
o demonstratives
o substitution
Uses appropriately a range of language resources, typical of
longer texts, to make text cohesive:
•
uses reference items that refer to large segments of text:
Many Japanese and Australian troops died during the long
battle of the Kokoda Trail but it was worth it
10 - 11
Begins to use reference items in longer factual genres to
strengthen the internal structure of paragraphs as ideas from
one sentence are picked up and carried forward to elaborate
and show logical connections to new ideas using:
•
This and That: Men were dirty and……..in the bushes. It was
like this from July; all the fighting….and rain. This greatly
affected…..
•
common abstract terms within a noun group: Japanese
troops were desperate for food supplies and ammunition as
their resources were running out. In early August, these
soldiers……
July 2014
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
•
Complex
o Subordinating (binding) clauses
o Relative clauses
o Non-finite clauses
•
Simple (sophisticated and
dense)
Punctuation
•
Basic punctuation
o Commas after text connectives
•
Beyond basic
o Commas after foregrounded
phrases and clauses
o Quotation marks
o Brackets, dashes, colons and
semicolons
Words and word groups
• Verbs and verb groups/phrases)
o representing different processes
o subject/verb agreement
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions: while, except for
Relative clauses: rainforest, which …, The brave Fuzzy Wuzzy
people, who …, Port Moresby,which, …
11
Non-finite clauses: Having already invaded other Asian
countries, Knowing their way …
11
st
Commas after foregrounded phrases and clauses: On 21 July,
th
On 29 July, By early August, Having already invaded other
Asian countries, Even though the Japanese were attacked by
allied aircraft, Except for the US air force,
Uses a wide range of vocabulary to express shades
of meaning:
Processes
• Doing: attacks; landed; were rising; enclosed;
invaded; advanced; being infected
• Sensing (thinking and feeling): knowing;
planning
• Relating: proved to be
- Causal: affected
11
N.A.
July 2014
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrases to express the
circumstances surrounding
happenings and states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner (quality, means and
comparison)
o matter
o cause
o role
Circumstances
• place: in Papua; on the eastern side between Gorari and Oivi;
between Gona and Buna; up the track; within 40 kilometres
of Port Moresby; in the tropical heat and rain
• time: from July to November 1942; By early August; over a
long time; during the Kokoda Trail battle
• accompaniment: with malaria, dengue fever and dysentery
• manner:
o quality: rapidly
o means: by the Australian troops, by allied aircraft
o comparison: like this
• cause: during the fairly long battle (this really explains that
they were killed because of the battle, not that they just
happened to die while the battle was happening)
• role: as experienced fighters
7 - 11
Words and word groups
• Nouns and noun groups/phrases
o Plurals
o Articles: indefinite (a/an) and
definite (the)
• Nominalisations
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): involvement, track, mountains, Kokoda
Trail, force, supplies, diseases, troops, battle
• classifiers: Kokoda, Australian, Japanese, jungle fighters,
allied aircraft, food supplies, tropical heat
• qualifiers
o using prepositional phrases: involvement in the battle for
the Kokoda Trail
o beginning to use multiple qualifiers: a force of 1,800
Japanese with lots of training
o using relative clauses: through rainforest, which enclosed
the narrow path between the thick bushes
11
Nominalisations: involvement, capture, fighting, occupation,
invasion, chance
Expressing Opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: - expressing
o feelings and emotions
o judgements of people and
o evaluation of things
o varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly and indirectly
Evaluative language
• feelings: extremely dirty, hungry, tired and itchy;
• judgments of people (characters): better jungle fighters;
10 - 11
experienced fighters; the brave Fuzzy Wuzzy people, who
were an enormous help to the Australian troops were also
important in the fight; excellent fighters; desperate
• evaluation of things: easy; hard; fairly long battle; worth it
• varied intensity: remarkably steep; extremely dirty; greatly affected;
fairly long battle
Modality: a real chance; likely
Word Knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• topic and subject-specific vocabulary
Spelling
battle; training; invaded; troops; allied aircraft; advanced;
capture; food supplies; ammunition; malaria; dengue fever;
dysentery; invasion
Uses the specialist military meanings for common words:
landed, force, occupation,
11
Multi-syllabic words: enormous
11
• difficult subject-specific words : mosquitoes, malaria, dengue fever,
dysentery
p85
July 2014
ROSE: DESCRIPTIVE INFORMATION REPORT
Depression of a person’s mind is a psychological disorder. People have signs like always being
in bad moods when someone has depression and they feel as if they are worthless and not
able to do anything right. This can result in symptoms including loss of appetite and sleep and
having no self -esteem or initiative. It can have an effect on schoolwork as well as outside
activities and friendships. It can also lead to drug and alcohol misuse and suicidal thoughts or
attempts. Depression in adolescents is hard to detect because it may seem that the teenager is
just going through normal adolescent experiences.
Depression has two main types. The first type is depressive disorder and is seen only through
acts that show despair. Manic or bipolar depressive illness is the other. This second kind of
depression is shown by changing between depressed and manic episodes.
Experts say many things such as personal experience, stress, medical conditions can cause
depression or in some cases it may be hereditary. Personal experiences may contribute to
someone being depressed. These include death of a close friend, relative or loved one or
immense lifestyle change such as divorce in families or breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
If stress isn’t treated by someone it can also led to depression. There are a few illnesses, which
can cause depression, but this can be helped by diagnosis and treatment of the illness.
Evidence shows depression can also be passed down from parents to children due to family
make up.
It is really clear that depression is more common in women than it is in men. Research in
addition has shown that “3-7 per cent of four to seventeen year olds suffer depression”. Also a
national survey showed that in an average week, 5 percent of pediatricians and about half of
psychiatrists prescribe anti-depressants to children that are younger than sixteen. The issue
although has been brought up that it is not recommended to give children under 10 years of
age any drugs which could harm the nervous system. This is due to the fact that the nervous
system is still growing in a child that age.
In most early detected cases depression is treatable. Depression has been linked to the
dysfunction of important neurotransmitter systems. They are serotonin, dopamine and
noradrenaline. There are three main treatments for depression. These include
tricyclic/tetracyclic antidepressants, monoamine oxidase and 5HT reuptake inhibitors. Other
types of methods include psychotherapy and counseling. When the depression is ongoing even
after using medicine, some doctors consider using Electro convulsive therapy. This is a last
chance to treat the illness.
July 2014
Student Name: Rose
Level: 12
Genre: Information
Report
Composing learning area texts
Level
Using visuals
Written texts
NA
Composes organised, longer (300-450 words) increasingly complex
examples of genres. They:
•
analyse and combine information from more than one source
•
appropriately choose the structure and features of the learning
area text according to the purpose of the text
•
demonstrate awareness of the audience and attempt to
influence through their language choices
•
use more formal, abstract and technical language to explore
topics and issues, and to express their own ideas
11-12
Text knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Report: composes longer more complex examples
Text Cohesion
• Foregrounding
o text and paragraph openers (headings/
sub-headings; introductions and topic
sentences)
o text connectives
o sentence openers, including using
passive voice to change what is
foregrounded
Text and paragraph openers: writes well developed topic sentences with
the exception of fourth paragraph
Begins to use more complex foregrounded phrases and subordinate
clauses:
•
When the depression is ongoing even after using medication
•
If stress isn’t treated
Passive voice: Depression can also be passed down from parents to children;
this second kind of depression is shown by; Depression has been linked; This
can be helped by diagnosis and treatment; it is not recommended
Foregrounds generalized/abstract noun: Depression; The issue
Foregrounds abstract noun groups: Characteristics of this kind of
depression; Personal experiences that may contribute to someone being
depressed; Other types of treatment; the first type of depressive disorder
Begins to manipulate by shifting elements from the front to foreground
appropriately and strategically: Research in addition has shown; The issue
although has been
Text cohesion
• Reference
o Pronouns
o Demonstratives
o substitution
This and that: When someone has depression… This can result in; Manic and
bipolar depressive illness is the other. This second kind; Using Electro
convulsive therapy. This…; Personal experiences …These…
Abstract term within a noun group: children under 10 years … a child that
age.
11-12
11-13
12
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions, nonfinite clause, relative clauses
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions: because; if; due to, even after; when;
as well as
Non-finite: having no self-esteem or initiative; going through normal
adolescent experience; using medicine, to treat
More relative pronouns used accurately: personal experiences that may
cause someone to be depressed; there are a few illnesses, which can lead to
depression; any drugs which could affect the nervous system
9 - 14
• Simple (sophisticated and dense)
Punctuation
• Commas after text connectives
• Commas after foregrounded phrases and
clauses
• Quotation marks
• Brackets, dashes and semi colons
Commas used in list: ….close friend,…loved one;
Foregrounded phrases and clauses: ….after using medicine and for relative
clause …which can lead to…
Quotation marks used once
9 - 11
July 2014
Words and word groups
• Processes (verb groups/phrases)
• Subject/verb agreement
Processes
•
Doing: growing; prescribe; treated; passed down; harm
•
Saying: say; not recommended
•
Sensing: feel; detect; consider;
•
Relating: called; shown; include; - Causal: result in; can affect; can also
lead to; can be caused; may cause
Subject-verb agreement
• Depression in adolescents is; There are
11
11
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrases to express the
circumstances surrounding happenings and
states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner (quality, means and
comparison)
o matter
o cause
o role
o angle
o contingency
Circumstances
• place: in women; in a child
• time: always; in some cases; in the average of a week
• manner:
o means: from parents to children; by many things; by someone; by
diagnosis and treatment of the illness; through act(s)
• angle: Experts say
• contingency: In most early detected cases
10-11
Words and word groups
• Noun groups/phrases
• Key nouns
• Nominalisations
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): misuse; thoughts; experiences; disorder; illness;
conditions; dysfunction; make up; survey; therapy
• classifiers: drug and alcohol; suicidal; adolescent; depressive; bipolar;
medical; family; nervous; national; Electro convulsive
• qualifiers using longer prepositional phrase: death of a close friend,
relative or loved one; children under ten years of age; the dysfunction of
serotonin, dopamine and noradrenaline
• qualifiers using relative clause: a few illnesses which can lead to
depression; children that are under sixteen years of age; drugs which
could cause the nervous system
Nominalisations: depression; misuse; attempts; illness; diagnosis;
treatment; dysfunction
12
Expressing opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: (expressing feelings
and emotions; judgements of people and
evaluation of things)
• Varying intensity
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly and indirectly
Word knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• topic and subject-specific vocabulary
Evaluative language
• feelings: bad; worthless; no self-esteem; despair; depressed
• judgments of people (characters):close; loved
• evaluation of things: disorder; hard; persistent; important; immense;
normal; treatable; last
• varied intensity: very important; really clear
9 -11
Modality: always; can; may; could; just; only; seemed; still
Indirectly: Experts say; Evidence shows; Research… has shown; The issue …
has been brought up that; a national survey showed that
Uses a wide range of specialist and topic vocabulary to contribute to the
specificity, authority and abstraction of texts: Psychological … disorder;
12
symptoms; depressive disorder; manic; bipolar depressive illness;
pediatricians (paediatricians); psychiatrists; prescribe; antidepressants; nervous system; dysfunction; serotonin; dopamine;
noradrenaline (noradrenalin); neurotransmitter; tricyclic/tetracyclic
antidepressants; monoamine oxidase; 5HT reuptake inhibitors;
psychotherapy; Electro convulsive therapy
Uses a varied specialist and everyday meanings of a range of common
words: episodes; conditions; cases; paediatrician,; psychiatrists;
doctors; signs ; symptoms
Spelling
Spelling: multisyllabic words: psychological; serotonin; psychotherapy
Difficult subject and topic specific words: symptoms; suicidal; bipolar;
14
anti-depressant; nervous system
p88
July 2014
ROSE: INTERPRETATION (COMPARATIVE ESSAY)
Why did Amy and Laurie react differently to The wave? Refer to concepts such as
equality and individualism in your response.
Although Laurie Saunders and Amy Smith are best friends they both have exteremly
different personalities. The two girls are competitive of each other to do and be better or
to keep up to the other’s level. They both have different values and views of life. Although
they may have some things in common such as being friends they also have many
differences.
Laurie Saunders was against “the wave.” She dissaproved of it and choose not to take
part. Mainly this is because Laurie is more of an individual. She does not go along with
things just for the sake of it and because everyone else did it. She choose that instead of
following the wave to go against it because she followed her beliefs. On the other hand
Amy choose to follow the wave and go with the crowd. In a way Amy could have though
of it as a way that she could be better than Laurie. Amy strived to be better than Laurie
although she was not as much individual as Laurie was. An example of this is the fact that
Amy chooses to smoke where as Laurie is against it and instead chews on the end of her
pen.
Although the two girls get along well there is a lot that they do not have in common. One
of the reasons for this is because of the competition between each other. This is
described in the book. ‘Ever since Laurie had started dating David, Amy had wanted to
date a football player too. It sometimes bothered Laurie that underlying their friendship
was a constant competition for boys, grades, popularity, almost every thing one could
compete for. Even though they were best friends, that constant competition somehow
prevented them from being really close’ (p 22). This affected the different reactions from
the girls of the wave greatly.
In conclusion just because the two girls are best friends it does not mean they think or act
alike. They are two very different people which is why the wave affected them both in
different ways, they do not have the same mentality. In my opinion even the best of
friends will not always be there for you, Nevertheless Sometimes it is also an advantage of
having friends that are different to you because you can also see situations from thier
point of view and not only your own.
July 2014
Student Name: ROSE
Level:
12
Genre: Comparative
Essay
Composing learning area texts
Level
Using visuals
Written texts
NA
A formal text in excess of 300 words with various stages
12
Text knowledge
Organisational structures of learning area
texts
Text cohesion
• Text and paragraph openers
• Text connectives
• Sentence openers (theme/ foregrounding)
• Passive voice
Text cohesion
• Reference
o Pronouns
o Demonstratives
o substitution
A detailed introduction and conclusion and two paragraphs that answer the
questions by referring to incidents and using a quote from the text studied.
Text connectives: Nevertheless; On the other hand; An example of this; In
conclusion; One of the reasons
Foregrounded phrases and subordinate clauses: In a way; In my opinion;
Although Laurie Saunders …best friends; Although the two girls get along
well
11-12
11-12
Reference items to offer an interpretation of a previous statement: She
disapproved of it….to take part. Mainly this is because… ; She was not as
much individual as Laurie was; An example of this …; There is a lot that they
do not have in common. One of the reasons for this …; Even though they
were best friends…. really close. This affected..
12
Grammar Knowledge
Sentence structures
• Complex
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions, nonfinite clause, relative clauses
• Simple (sophisticated and dense)
Punctuation
• Commas in lists, between describers, after
text connectives, after foregrounded
phrases and clauses
• Punctuation for direct speech including
quotation marks, commas, etc
• Punctuation for quotes and other elements
such as a title or name
Words and word groups
• Processes (verb groups/phrases)
• Subject/verb agreement
Subordinating (binding) conjunctions: Although; such as; because; instead;
even though; where as (whereas); ever since
Non-finite clauses: to take part; to be better than Laurie ;following the
wave; of having friends that are different to you
Relative clause: friends that are different to you; a way that she could be
better than Laurie
11
Use of full stops, commas, apostrophes for possession.
Quotation marks used for title and text quote
NB underline “the wave.”
Brackets used for page number
7-11
Processes
•
Doing: smoke; chew; described; strived
•
Sensing: disapproved ;though (thought); choose(chose); go along with;
follow; think; see; bothered
•
Relating: are; have; was; mean
- causal: affected
Subject-verb agreement
• Demonstrates control
11
11-12
July 2014
Words and word groups
• Adverbs, adverb groups/phrases and
prepositional phrasesto express the
circumstances surrounding happenings and
states
o place
o time
o accompaniment
o manner (quality, means and
comparison)
o matter
o cause
o role
o angle
o contingency
Circumstances
• place: on the end of her pen; in the book
• time: sometimes, not always
• accompaniment: with the crowd
• manner:
o quality: greatly; in different ways(differently)
o means:
o comparison: better than Laurie
• cause(reason): for the sake of it; because of the competition between
each other
• angle: from their (their) point of view and not only your own; in my
opinion
Words and word groups
An advantage of having friends;
• Noun groups/phrases
Noun groups
• key nouns (things): personalities; things; reasons; reactions
• numeratives: some; many; one of; two
• describers: different; best
• qualifiers:
°
phrases: some things in common; a lot they do not have in
common
°
relative clauses: friends that are different to you; a way that she
could be better than Laurie
°
multiple qualifiers: the different reactions from the girls of (to)
the wave
• Nominalisations
8 - 11
7 - 11
Nominalisations: differences; beliefs; views; reasons; competition; reactions;
mentality
Expressing opinion and point of view
• Evaluative language: (expressing feelings
and emotions; judgements of people and
evaluation of things)
Evaluative language
• feelings: disapproved
• judgments of people (characters):competitive; more of an individual;
does not go along with things just for the sake of it; she follows her
beliefs; go with the crowd; strive to be better than Laurie; not as much
individual as Laurie; two very different people
• evaluation of things: different
• Varying intensity
Varying intensity: mainly; exteremly (extremely); greatly
• Modality
• Expressing opinions directly and indirectly
Modality: sometimes; just; even;
Directly: in my opinion
Indirectly: an advantage
9 - 11
Word knowledge
Understanding learning area vocabulary
• topic and subject-specific vocabulary
Personalities; belief; individual; competition; reactions; affected; mentality;
point of view
Spelling
Spelling
Topic words: personalities, mentality
• more complex base words formed by adding prefixes or suffixes:
9
10-11
disapproved, competition; reactions; conclusion; situations
• ‘i’ before ‘e’: belief
• multi-syllabic words ending in ty: personalities; mentality;
p91
July 2014