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©Copyright2012,2009byBarron’sEducationalSeries,Inc. Previousedition©Copyright2006byBarron’sEducationalSeries,Inc., underthetitleWritingWorkbookfortheNewSAT. Allrightsreserved. Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedinanyformordistributedby anymeanswithoutthewrittenpermissionofthecopyrightowner. Allinquiriesshouldbeaddressedto: Barron’sEducationalSeries,Inc. 250WirelessBoulevard Hauppauge,NewYork11788 www.barronseduc.com e-ISBN:978-1-4380-8388-9 Firste-Bookpublication:August,2012 GreetingsfromtheAuthor HelloandwelcometotheworldoftheSATWritingTest.Isincerelyhopethatinthesepagesyou’ll findjustwhatyouneedtoearnthehighestpossiblescoreontheexam. Ifyou’reunsurewhatthetestisallabout,readPartI.Ifyouneedtobrushupongrammar,turnto PartV.Tofine-tuneyourtest-takingskills,gotoPartsIIandVI,whereyou’llfindpracticeexamsjust likethoseontheSAT.PartIIIwilltakeyoubythehandthroughtheprocessofwritingawinning essay…andsoon. Thebook’schaptersfollowtheformatoftheSAT.Firstcomestheessaysection,thenthethree typesofmultiple-choicequestionsintheordertheyappearontheexam.Inshort,mybookisa completeguidetotheSATWritingTest.ThemoretimeyouhaveuntiltheSAT,thebetteryoucan prepareyourself.Butevenifthetestistomorrow,thebookcanstillgiveyouaquickfixonwhatto expectwhenyouopenyourexambooklet. IftheSATisweeksormonthsaway,letthebookworkforyou.Useitregularlyandoften.Letit acquaintyouwiththeformatofthetestandaccustomyoutowritingaclear,coherent,andpurposeful essayinlessthanhalfanhour.(TheSATgivesyouexactlytwenty-fiveminutes.)Thenreadand evaluateactualessayscomposedbyhighschooljuniorsandseniorsonSATtopics.Reviewthe conceptsofEnglishgrammar,usage,andrhetoriconwhichyou’llbetested.Practiceanswering multiple-choicequestions,usingsurefiretacticsforgettingthemright.Takethepracticetestsatthe backofthebook,andwatchyourtestscoressoar—Ihope. I’vedoneamountainofworkinwritingthisbookforyou.Nowit’stimeforyoutostartclimbing. So,shakealegandbestofluck!I’llberootingforyouonthesidelines. Contents GreetingsfromtheAuthor PARTI TheBasics:GettingAcquaintedwiththeWritingTest OverviewoftheWritingTest TheEssay Multiple-ChoiceQuestions PARTII DressRehearsal:ASampleTest SampleTest AnswerKey PerformanceEvaluationChart ConversionTable AnswerExplanations PARTIII HowtoWriteanEssayin1,500Seconds StepsforWritingthePerfectEssay Prewriting:GettingSettoWrite ReadingandAnalyzingtheTopicCarefully NarrowingtheTopic ChoosingaMainIdea GatheringandArrangingIdeasPurposefully Composing:PuttingWordsonPaper WritingaGrippingIntroduction BuildinganEssaywithParagraphs ParagraphDevelopment Transitions UsingPlainandPreciseLanguage FreshLanguageandSurprises VaryingSentenceStructure SentenceTypes RepetitionofIdeas ShortandLongSentences EndingYourEssay EditingandProofreading:TheFinalTouches EditingforClarity EditingforInterest CheckingforStandardUsageandMechanics Review AnswerKeytoPracticeExercises PARTIV YouBetheUmp:EssaysforEvaluation HowEssaysAreJudgedandGraded GuidelinesforEvaluation EssaysforEvaluation EssayTopicsforPractice PARTV TheHeartoftheTest:Multiple-ChoiceQuestions Introduction ImprovingSentencesQuestions SampleSentenceImprovementQuestions ProblemsinStyleandExpression ProblemsinSentenceStructure ProblemsinStandardUsage Review IdentifyingSentenceErrors ErrorsinExpressionandStyle ErrorsinGrammarandUsage ImprovingParagraphsQuestions AnsweringtheQuestions HowtoAnswerImprovingParagraphsQuestions Review AnswerKeytoPracticeExercises PARTVI TestsforPractice,Practice,Practice PracticeTestA AnswerKey PerformanceEvaluationChart ConversionTable AnswerExplanations PracticeTestB AnswerKey PerformanceEvaluationChart ConversionTable AnswerExplanations PracticeTestC AnswerKey PerformanceEvaluationChart ConversionTable AnswerExplanations PracticeTestD AnswerKey PerformanceEvaluationChart ConversionTable AnswerExplanations PARTI THEBASICS:GETTINGACQUAINTEDWITHTHEWRITINGTEST •APreviewoftheTest •HowCollegesUsetheTest •FormatofTestQuestions •HowtheEssayIsScored •ToGuessorNottoGuessonShort-AnswerQuestions •HowtoFindtheBestAnswers OverviewoftheWritingTest TheentireSATlaststhreehoursandforty-fiveminutes,includingonehourfortheWritingTest. TheWritingTestisdividedintothreesections: Section1:Anessayquestion(25minutes) Section2:Multiple-choicequestions(25minutes) Section3:Moremultiple-choicequestions(10minutes) Thefirsttwenty-fiveminutesoftheSATisdevotedtoSection1oftheWritingTest.Duringthat timeyouwillbeaskedtowriteanessayinresponsetoagiventopic. Section2oftheWritingTestisgivenlaterintheexam.Itconsistsofthreetypesofmultiple-choice questionsthataskyouto(1)correctpoorlywrittensentences,(2)findgrammarandusageerrorsina setofsentences,and(3)reviseanearlydraftofagivenessay. Section3,lastingtenminutes,isadministeredtowardtheendoftheSAT.Itcontainsadditional multiple-choicequestionsoncorrectingpoorlywrittensentences. Altogetherthen,theSATWritingTestconsistsofanessayquestionandtwosectionsofmultiplechoicequestions. FORMATOFTHESAT NOTE:EverySATalsocontainsatenthsectionthatdoesn’tcountincalculatingyourscore.It’sanexperimentalsectionincludedbythe CollegeBoardtotestpotentialquestionsinwriting,math,orcriticalreadingforuseonfutureSATexams.Theexperimentalsectionisnot identified. **This e-Book will appear differently depending on which device or software you are using to viewit.Pleaseadjustaccordingly. PURPOSEOFTHEWRITINGTEST Your score on the test adds an important dimension to your college admissions profile. It shows admission officials how well you write, especially how well you write under the pressure of time. This information suggests your potential for success in college courses that require writing. In particular,youressayprovidesevidenceof Thedepthofyourthinking.Yourevealthedepthofyourthinkingbyrespondingperceptivelyto thetopic,orquestion.Yourresponsealsoshowswhetheryoucandeviseathesis,ormainidea, anddevelopitinsightfully. Your ability to organize ideas. You show your ability to organize ideas by arranging material accordingtoalogical,sensibleplan. The way you express yourself. You reveal your ability to express yourself by accurately and succinctlyconveyingyourthoughtstothereader. YourmasteryofstandardwrittenEnglish.YoudemonstrateyouruseofstandardwrittenEnglish bywritinganessayrelativelyfreeoferrorsingrammarandusage. Themultiple-choicequestionsdealwitheverydayproblemsingrammar,usage,style,wordchoice, andotherbasicelementsofwriting.Insteadofaskingyouaboutobscuremattersofgrammar,the questionswillaskyoutoidentifycommonsentenceerrorsandtoimprovesentencesandparagraphs. AlthoughmostcollegesusetheresultsoftheSATWritingTestasacriterionforadmission,some collegesalsousescorestodetermineacademicplacement.Ahighscoremayentitleyoutowaivea freshmancompositioncourse.Ascorethatsuggestsdeficienciesmayplaceyouinaremedialwriting programtobecompletedeitherbeforeclassesbeginorduringthefirstsemester.Tounderstandjust howyourscorewillaffectyou,consulttheliteratureofthecollegestowhichyouareapplying.Or, here’sanotheridea:bringuptheuseofSATscoresduringyourinterviewwithacollegeadmissions official. HOWTHETESTISSCORED Youressaywillbereadbytwoexperiencedevaluators,mostlikelyhighschoolorcollegeteachers trainedtojudgetheoverallqualityandeffectivenessofstudents’essays.Neitherreaderwillknowthe gradethattheotherreaderhasgivenyouressay.Norwilltheyknowyournameorthenameofyour school. Each reader will assign your essay a grade on a scale of 1 (low) to 6 (high). Your essay’s subscorewillberecordedasthesumofthetwoscores(2to12). Onthemultiple-choicequestions,you’llearnapointforeachcorrectanswerandloseaquarterof apoint(0.25)foreachwronganswer.Anitemleftblankwillneitheraddtonortakeawayfromyour score.Amachinewillscoreyourresponsestoforty-ninequestionsandwillreportasubscoreona scaleof20to80. Beforescoresaresentout,theCollegeBoardwillconvertthetwosubscorestotheSATscaleof 200–800.YourtotalfortheWritingTest,alongwithyourscoresinmathandcriticalreading,willbe reportedtoyou,toyourguidancecounselor,andtotheadmissionsofficesofthecollegesyou designate. TOGUESSORNOTTOGUESS Subtracting credit for wrong answers on multiple-choice questions is meant to discourage blind guessing.Ifyouhaven’taclueabouthowtoansweraquestion,leaveitblank.Ifyoucanconfidently eliminateoneofthefivechoices,itprobablypaystoguess.Theoddsareoneinfourthatyou’llbe right.Thesearenotterrificodds,butsupposethatonfourquestionsyoueliminateonewrongchoice andyouguessfourtimes.Ifyouguessrightjustonce,you’llearnapointandlosethree-quartersofa point,anetgainofonequarter.Ifyouleaveallfourblank,youwillgainnothing.Yes,it’sagamble becauseyoucouldmakefourincorrectguesses,butthechancesoflosingeverytimeareonlyonein four.Andyoucouldgetluckyandhittwo,three,orevenfourcorrectanswers. TIP Ifaquestionstumpsyoucompletely,don’ttrytoanswerit. Whenaquestiongivesyoutrouble,andyoucan’tdecideamong,say,threechoices,common wisdomsaysthatyoushouldgowithyourfirstimpulse.Testingexpertsandpsychologistsagreethat there’sabetterthanaveragechanceofsuccessifyoutrustyourintuition.However,thereareno guarantees,andbecausethemindworksinsomanystrangeways,relyingonyourinitialchoicemay notalwaysworkforyou. Anotherpieceoffolkwisdomaboutguessingisthatifoneanswerislongerthantheothers,that maybeyourbestchoice.That’snotinformationyoushoulddependon.Infact,sinceeconomyof expressionisavirtueinwriting,ashorterchoicemaymoreoftenbethebestanswer.Thetruthofthe matteristhatyoucan’tdependontricksorgimmicksontheSAT. HOWTOPREPARE Byreadingthesewordsyou’vealreadybegunpreparingfortheexam.Actually,youbeganyearsago whenyoufirstwrotewordsonpaperandastringofschoolteachersbeganhammeringthebasicsof Englishgrammarintoyourhead. Butthatwasthen.Nowit’stimetobrushuponyourgrammar,becomeacquaintedwiththeprecise formatofthetest,anddevelopanumberofusefultacticsforwritingtheessayandansweringthe multiple-choicequestions. Onceyouhavefinishedreadingtheseintroductorypages,takethediagnostictestinPartII. Afterwards,checkyouranswersandidentifythequestionsyoumissed.Bydoingso,youcantellnot onlyhowmuchstudyingyouneedtodobutwhatmaterialtostudy.If,say,youcouldn’tfinishwriting theessayintheallottedtwenty-fiveminutes,you’ddowelltoreadthepagesofPartIIIthatdiscuss planningandcomposinganessay.Or,ifyoumissedacoupleofmultiple-choicequestionsrelatedto pronounchoiceorparallelstructure,studytherelevantpagesinPartV,anddothepracticeexercises. TheEssay Writing an essay by hand in less than half an hour is a challenge. Even professional journalists, accustomed to working under the pressure of deadlines, would be hardpressed to produce a good essayintwenty-fiveminutes.Buttakeheart!Theessayscoreisjustonepieceofdataonyourcollege application, and no one taking the SAT will have a nanosecond more than you to complete the assignment. If you’ve been a reasonably proficient essay writer in the past, be confident that you’ll performequallywellontheSAT.Infact,youmaydoevenbetterthanusualbecauseyou’relikelyto bepumpeduptodoyourbestwork. TIP Thegoalofyouressay:Toorganizeyourthoughtsandexpressthemclearly, interestingly,andcorrectly. WhenwritingtheSATessay,youmustcondenseintoafewminutesallthestepsthatotherwriters, enjoyingtheluxuryoftime,mightstretchintohoursorevenintodays.Chancesareyou’vedoneit before.Anessaytestinsocialstudies,forexample,mayhaverequiredyoutofillupablankpage quicklywithallyouknewabouttheReignofTerrororcausesoftheCivilWar.Thenumerousinclassessaysyou’veproducedovertheyearshavenodoubttrainedyouforthekindofinstantessay askedofyouontheSAT.Inyourclasses,ofcourse,successwasbasedpartlyonhowcloselyyour ideasresembledthosethattheteacherhadinmind.That’snottrueontheSAT.Youcan’tcramforthis essaythewayyoucanforatestinphysicsorSpanish.Becauseyoudon’tknowthetopic,youmust quicklyprocessyourthoughtsandgetthemontopaper. Ordinarily,anessaywritertakesalongtimetothinkaboutideasandwritethemdown.Theverb essay,infact,meanstoassessthoughtfully:notontheSAT,however.Thetimelimitforcesanalmost instantresponseandlimitsleisurelyreflection.Ifyoumanagetocomeupwithoneormoreprofound insights,morepowertoyou,butkeepinmindthattheobjectiveofanSATessayismoremundane— toshowcollegesthatyoucanorganizeyourthoughtsandexpressthemclearly,interestingly,and correctly. Theansweryouwriteinresponsetothequestionisnotpredetermined.Whatyouneedtoknowis alreadylodgedinsideyou.Thetaskyoufaceontestdayistoarrangeyourideasandputtheminto readableformonpaper.Itisnotameasureofwhatyouknowbutratherademonstationofwhatyou cando. Moreprecisely,theessaywillmeasureyourskillinelaboratingapointofviewonanissue.You mustfirstthinkcriticallyabouttheissuepresentedintheessayassignment,formingyourparticular perspectiveonthetopic.Thenyoumustdevelopthatpointofview,supportingyourideaswith appropriateevidence.Anessaycompletedintwenty-fiveminutesisboundtobeshorterthanmost essaysrequiredinhighschoolorcollegecourses.Itwon’tbeaspolishedasapiecewrittenovera periodofhoursordays.Butitrepresentswhatyoucandoduringtheinitialphaseofthewriting process,andtwenty-fiveminutesshouldgiveyouenoughtimetoprovethatyouhavewhatittakesto writearespectablefirstdraft. Thetopic,calledtheprompt,consistsofaquotationorashortpassagefollowedbyaquestion askingyouropinionaboutthecontentofthequoteorpassage.Althoughnoonecanpredictthe subjectoftheprompt,youcanbesurethatthedirectionsforwritingtheessaywillalwayssay somethinglike: Thinkcarefullyabouttheissuepresentedinthefollowingquotationandtheassignmentbelow: “People rarely stand up and speak out for what they truly believe, particularly when their views will not be popular among their peers. Rather than oppose accepted beliefs, they remain silent, findingiteasiertosimplygoalongwiththemajority.” Assignment:Dopeoplegenerallyavoidexpressingunpopularbeliefs?Planandwriteanessayin which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examplestakenfromyourreading,studies,experience,orobservations. Basedontheseinstructions,youmustwriteanessayexplainingwhetheryouacceptorrejectthe propositionthatpeopleseldomexpressbeliefsthatdifferfromthoseofthemajority.Anessay agreeingwiththestatementwouldarguethatmostpeoplechoosetogoalongwiththecrowdrather thancreatecontroversybyvoicinganunpopularview.Ontheotherhand,anessaythatadoptsa contrarypointofviewwoulddeveloptheideathatpeopleingeneralprefertohavetheirvoicesheard evenwhentheydisagreewithprevailingbeliefsandvalues.Athirdpossibility,ofcourse,isthat circumstancesdeterminewhetherapersonspeaksoutorremainssilent. Whatyousayintheessayiscompletelyuptoyou.Thereisnowrongorrightanswer.Youwon’t bepenalizedforanunusualorunpopularpointofviewunlessitisbasedonafaultypremiseorpure fantasy.Onceyou’vedecidedonyourperspective,presentyourcase.Concentrateonexpressing yourthoughtscoherentlyandcorrectly.Allpartsofanessayshouldworktogethertomakeasingle point.Iftheevidenceyouprovidewandersfromthemainideaorraisesadditionalissuesthatyou don’thavetimetodiscuss,theeffectoftheessaywillbediluted.Aboveall,youdon’twantreadersto reachtheendscratchingtheirheadsoverthepointoftheessay. Onceyouhavedecidedonyourpositionontheissue,developyourthoughtsclearlyand effectively.Developingyourthoughtsmeansnothingmorethanbackingupyouropinionwith illustrativematerial,drawnfromvirtuallyanysourceyouwish:fromyourreadinginsideoroutside ofschool,fromyourcourses,frompersonalexperience,orfromobservation.Inshort,youmay usefacts,statistics,commonsense,historicalbackground—anything,really,todemonstratethatyour opinionisgroundedonsomethingmoresolidthanafeelingorapersonalpreference.Remember,the kindofwritingexpectedontheSATisrationaldiscourse,notemotionalblabbering. Theassignmenturgesyoutoplanyouressaybeforeyoubegintowrite.Forsomestudents,that meansusinganoutline,butforothers,justjottingafewnotesonapieceofpaper.Whetheryou prefertowritelistsofideasorjustthinkaboutanapproachbeforecommittingwordstopaper,onthe SATyoumustwriteanessay—notaplay,notapoem,notashortstory,notdialogue,notafable,just anessay.Youressayneednotfollowaprescribedformat,butyou’llprobablygetthebestresultswith astraightforward,no-nonsenseapproachconsistingofsomesortofintroduction,abodyofmaterial thatsupportsyourmainidea,andanappropriateconclusion.Variationsarepossible,buttwenty-five minutesdoesn’tgiveyoumuchtimetobeinventive. TIP Thecontentofyouressayismoreimportantthanitslength. Thedirectionsforwritingtheessaydon’ttellyouhowlongitshouldbe.That’sbecausethe numberofwordsisuptoyou.Justrememberthatquantitycountslessthanquality.Asingleparagraph maynotgiveyouthechancetodevelopyourideascompletely.Twoparagraphsmightdo,butthree ormoresuggestthatyouhavethecapacitytoprobeprettydeeplyintothesubject.Plantowriteatleast twoorthreeparagraphs.Three,infact,maybepreferabletotwo,althoughthat’sageneralizationthat doesn’tapplytoeveryessay.(We’lltalkmoreaboutthatinPartIII.)Intheend,thenumberof paragraphsislessimportantthanthesubstanceofeachparagraph.Evenoneparagraphcan demonstratethatyouareafirst-ratewriter. Aplain,naturalwritingstyleisprobablybest.Thinkofyourreadersaseverydayfolkswho appreciatestraight,plain,everydaylanguage.Readerswillbeturnedoffbyformal,pompous,or overblownprose.Elegantwordshavetheirplace,ofcourse,butusethemsparinglytoavoid soundingpretentiousorfoolish. AsSATdaydrawsnear,reviewthesesuggestionsforwritinganessay.Knowingwhattodoahead oftimewilladdtoyourpeaceofmindandenableyoutostartworkimmediatelywhentheproctor says,“Openyourexambookletandbegin.” Multiple-ChoiceQuestions TwoseparatesectionsoftheSAT(25minutesand10minutes)giveyouatotalofforty-ninemultiplechoice questions that deal with errors in grammar, usage, word choice (diction), and expression (idiom).Therearethreetypesofquestions: 1.ImprovingSentences(25questions) 2.IdentifyingSentenceErrors(18questions) 3.ImprovingParagraphs(6questions) Ofthethreetypes,IdentifyingSentenceErrorsarethebriefest—rarelymorethantwoorthree lines.Moststudentsanswerthemmorequicklyandeasilythantheothers.TheImprovingSentences questionstakeabitlongerbecausetheyrequiremorereading,andtheImprovingParagraphs questionstakelongerstillbecausetheyrelatetoproblemsembeddedinthetextofanessaythatyou aregiventoread. Yet,there’snoneedtorushthroughanyofthequestions.Thetesthasbeencarefullycalibratedto coincidewiththetimeallotted,providedyouworksteadily. THEORDEROFQUESTIONS Questions in the sentence-improvement and sentence-error sections are arranged more or less in order of difficulty, but that’s not always the case. Don’t assume, therefore, that question 7 will be harderthanquestion6,or14harderthan13.Becauseyourmindworksdifferentlyfromeverybody else’s, you may often find later questions easier than earlier ones. If you come to a question that bafflesyou,don’tagonizeoverit.Justgothenextone,andgobacklateriftimepermits.Paragraphimprovement questions are arranged differently: They follow the progress of the passage. It may makesensetoanswerthemintheordertheyaregiven,althoughyoumayfinditusefultogetspecific questionsoutofthewaybeforetacklingquestionsthatdealwithwholeparagraphsorthecomplete essay.Trydifferenttechniqueswhiletakingpracticeexamstofindtheonethatworksbestforyou. IMPROVINGSENTENCESQUESTIONS InthissectionofthetestyouareaskedtorecognizeerrorsinstandardEnglishaswellasproblemsin style and expression. In each question, part of a sentence—or sometimes the whole sentence—is underlined.Youaregivenfiveversionsoftheunderlinedwords.Yourtaskistochoosethebestone. BecausechoiceAalwaysrepeatstheunderlinedsegmentoftheoriginal,selectAonlyifyouthinkno changeisneeded.Inanycase,neverchooseanalternativethatsubstantiallychangesthemeaningof theoriginalsentence,evenifitsgrammarandstyleareperfect. SampleQuestions 1.Thecustomofawardinghugescholarshipstocollegeathleteshavegottenoutofhand. (A)ofawardinghugescholarshipstocollegeathleteshavegottenoutofhand (B)ofhugescholarshipsawardedtocollegeathleteshasgottenoutofhand (C)ofawardinggiganticallyhugescholarshipstostudentathletesattendingcollegehavegottenout ofhand (D)isoutofhandbywhichawardsforcollegeathletesaregrantedhugescholarships (E)ofrewardingcollegeathleteswithhugescholarshipsareoutofhand Explanation:AbasicruleofEnglishgrammaristhatthesubjectofasentencemustagreeinnumber with its verb. That is, a singular subject must have a singular verb, and a plural subject must be accompaniedbyapluralverb. ChoiceBisthebestanswerbecauseboththeverb,has,andthesubject,custom,aresingular. ChoiceAuseshave,apluralverbthatfailstoagreewithcustom,asingularsubject. ChoiceCisanexcessivelywordyvariationofchoiceA. InchoiceD,boththesubject,custom,andtheverb,is,aresingular,butthesentencecontainsan extremelyawkwardphrase,“outofhandbywhich.” ChoiceEusesare,apluralverbthatfailstoagreewiththesubject,custom. 2.BothofmycousinswholiveinSanFranciscospeakbothChineseandArabic. (A)BothofmycousinswholiveinSanFrancisco (B)BothofmytwocousinslivinginSanFrancisco (C)Mytwocousins,wholivesinSanFrancisco (D)MytwocousinsinSanFrancisco (E)MytwoSanFranciscocousinsofmine Explanation: Because sentences cluttered with unnecessary words are less effective than tightly writtensentences,oneofyourtaskswhileansweringImprovingSentencesquestionsistorecognize unnecessaryandredundantwordsandphrases. ChoiceDisthebestanswerbecauseitismoreconciselywrittenthantheotherchoices. ChoiceAisgrammaticallycorrect,althoughitcouldbestylisticallyimprovedbyeliminatingthe repetitionofthewordboth. ChoiceBalsosuffersfromneedlessrepetitionbutcompoundstheproblemwiththewordtwo,a redundancy. ChoiceCismoreeconomical,butitcontainsthesingularverb,lives,thatdisagreeswithits pluralsubject,cousins. ChoiceEcontainsaredundancy,myandofmine. HowtoFindAnswerstoSentenceImprovementQuestions •Readtheentiresentence,payingcloseattentiontoitsmeaning. •Beawarethaterrorsmayexistonlyintheunderscoredsegmentofthesentence. •Trytohearthesentenceinyourhead. •Trytodeterminewhetheraproblemexists. •Searchforwordinessandawkwardexpressionintheunderscoredsegmentofthesentence. •Readthechoices,butignorechoiceA,whichisidenticaltotheunderscoredsegmentofthe originalsentence. •Eliminateallchoicesthatcontainobviouserrors. •Reviewtheremainingchoicesforflawsingrammarandusage.(SeePartVfordetailsabout preciselywhattolookfor.) •Eliminateanychoicethatchangesthemeaningofthesentence. •Ifnochangeisneeded,markAonyouranswersheet. IDENTIFYINGSENTENCEERRORS IdentifyingSentenceErrorsquestionscomeintheformofasentencewithportionsofitunderlined, asinthefollowingexamples: 1. oftheceremony,thenewmembers handshake. . that wouldnever thesecret 2. ofantitoxinsandserums, fever arehardly casesofsmallpoxoryellow intheworld. Yourjobistoreadeachsentencecarefullyandidentifytheitemthatcontainsanerror.Onlyoneof theunderlinedpartsinasentencemaycontainanerror,andnosentencecontainsmorethanoneerror. Sometimesasentencemaycontainnoerror,inwhichcasethecorrectanswerwillbeE(Noerror). Explanation:Thecorrectanswertoquestion1isBbecausethepasttenseoftheverbswearisswore. Theverbsweardoesn’tadheretotheusualpatternofverbs—thatis,creatingthepasttensebyadding -edtothepresenttense,asinwalk/walkedorlove/loved.Rather,itfollowsapatternofitsown,just likeotherso-calledirregularverbs,includingeat/eaten,ring/rung,andsleep/slept. Knowingaboutirregularverbscouldhaveledyoutotherightanswer.Yet,hadyouneverheard aboutsuchverbs,youstillmighthavebeendrawntochoiceBbyyourinnatesenseoftheway Englishsounds.Inotherwords,yourlanguage“ear”mayhavetoldyouthatsomethingwasamiss. Nevertheless,evenagoodearforlanguageisnotareliablesubstituteforathoroughunderstanding ofgrammarandusage. Thecorrectanswertoquestion2isCbecausetheunderlinedwordisadoublenegative.Both hardlyandnoarenegativewords.Therefore,aphrasecontainingbothwordsconstitutesanerrorin standardusage. ToidentifysentenceerrorsontheSAT,youdon’tneedtoknowthetechnicalterminologyof grammarandusage,althoughitwouldhelptostudysuchbasicconceptsasthepartsofspeech,the structureofsentences,andverbtenses—allreviewedforyouinPartV. HowtoFindAnswerstoIdentifyingSentenceErrorsQuestions •Readthewholesentence. •Trytohearthesentenceinyourhead. •Focusyourattentiononawkwardsoundingwordsandphrases. •Trytoexplainwhatthegrammaticalflawmightbe.(LikelyerrorsarediscussedfullyinPartV.) •ExaminechoicesA–Dforpossibleerrorsingrammarandusage. •Ifalltheunderscoredwordsarecorrect,markEonyouranswersheet. IMPROVINGPARAGRAPHSQUESTIONS TheImprovingParagraphssectioncontainsquestionsaboutmanyofthesameprinciplesofgrammar and usage as the Improving Sentences section, but it raises additional issues related specifically to essay writing—style, organization, use of transitions, paragraph development, and topic sentences, among others. The questions are not meant to stump or trick you. Rather, they deal with aspects of writingfamiliartoanyrelativelyexperiencedessaywriter. Questionsarebasedonanunediteddraftofastudent’sessay.Readingtheessay,you’llprobably noticethatitfallsshortofperfection.Expecttoansweroneortwoquestionsaboutproblemsof grammarandusage.Therestwillpertaintoimprovingthestyleandstructureoftheessayand expressingthemeaningmosteffectively. SampleQuestions The excerpt that follows is part of an essay written in response to the topic: Preserving the Environment—Everybody’sJob. [1]Aspeoplegetolder,quiteobviously,theearthdoestoo.[2]Andwiththeprocessoftheearth aging,wemustkeeprecyclingourwasteproducts.[3]Theideaofusingthingsoverandoveragain toconserveournaturalresourcesisabrilliantone.[4]Thosewhodon’tdoitshouldbecriticized greatly. [5]Aswebecomemoreawareoftheearth’slimitations,weallsay“Oh,I’dliketohelp.”[6]Not everyonedoes,eventhoughrecyclingisaneffectiveplacetostart.[7]Takingplasticgrocerybags backtothesupermarkettoberecycledisagoodidea.[8]Also,jointhemassesofpeoplewhowill nolongerbuyordinarydrinkingwatersoldinplasticbottles.[9]Inaddition,inalmosteverytown thereisaRecyclingCenter.[10]Thereareseparatebinsforpaper,glass,andplastic.[11]Thisisa convenientservicetothosewhosupportrecycling.[12]Itissoeasytodriveafewblockstoa centertodropoffwhatneedstoberecycled.[13]Thisisjustanothersimpleexampleofhoweasyit reallyistorecycleandgetinvolved.[14]Anyonewhocannotseeitssimplicityshouldbecriticized fornotdoingtheirparttohelpmaketheworldabetterplace. [15]WhenIgotootherpeople’shousesandseeglassbottlesandjarsmixedinwithhousehold garbage,Igetdisgustedandoftensay,“Whydon’tyourecyclethatglassinsteadofthrowingit out?”[16]Itangersmewhentheyrespond,“It’stoomuchtrouble.”[17]Suchpeopleareignorant anddeservetobetaughtalessonabouthowwastefulnessisslowlydestroyingtheearth. 1.Consideringtheessayasawhole,whichofthefollowingbestexplainsthemainpurposeofthe secondparagraph? (A)Toexplainthehistoricalbackgroundofthetopic (B)Toprovideasmoothtransitionbetweenthefirstandthirdparagraphs (C)Todefinetermsintroducedinthefirstparagraph (D)Todevelopanideapresentedinthefirstparagraph (E)Topresentadifferentpointofviewontheissuebeingdiscussed Explanation:Toanswerthisquestion,youmustreadthewholeessay.Youmustalsoknowsomething abouthowparagraphsfunctioninanessay. Allthechoicesnamelegitimateusesofparagraphs,butonlychoiceDappliestothisessaybecause itdevelopsbyexampleanideaoriginatinginthefirstparagraph—howeasyitistorecycle.Choices A,C,andEcanbequicklydiscarded.ChoiceBisapossibilitybecauseinaunifiedessayeach paragraph,asidefromtheopeningandclosingparagraphs,insomewayservesasabridgebetween paragraphs.Becausethesecondparagraphisthelongestoftheessay,however,itsmainfunctionis probablymorethantransitional. 2.Whichofthefollowingsentencesmosteffectivelycombinessentences9,10,and11(reproduced below)intoasinglesentence? [9]Inaddition,inalmosteverytownthereisaRecyclingCenter.[10]Thereareseparatebinsfor paper,glass,andplastic.[11]Thisisaconvenientservicetothosewhosupportrecycling. (A)Recyclingcentersofferrecyclersconveniencebyprovidingseparatebinsforpaper,glass,and plasticandbybeinglocatedinalmosteverytown. (B)Recyclingcenters,locatedinalmosteverytown,provideconvenientbinsforseparatingpaper, glass,andplastic. (C)Almosteverytownhasarecyclingcenterwithseparatebinsforpaper,glass,andplastic,and thisisaconvenienceforrecyclers. (D)Besides,peoplewhorecyclewillfindrecyclingcentersinalmosteverytown,providing convenientseparationtorecyclepaper,glass,andplasticintobins. (E)Fortheconvenienceofrecyclersinalmosteverytown,paper,glass,andplasticareseparated intoprovidedbinsatitsrecyclingcenter. Explanation:Thisquestionrelatestosentencestructure—inparticularhowthestructureofasentence helps to convey meaning. You probably know that in a series of short sentences each idea carries equalweight.Butcombiningshortsentencespermitsawritertohighlighttheimportantideaswhile de-emphasizingothers.Toanswerthisquestion,then,youmustdecidewhichideaexpressedbythe threesentencesdeservestobegiventhegreatestemphasis. Thethreesentencesinquestioncomefromaparagraphthatdiscussestheeaseandappealof recycling.Becausesentences10and11refertotheconvenientarrangementofrecyclingbins,they aremoreimportanttothedevelopmentoftheparagraphthansentence9,aboutthelocationof recyclingcenters. Usually,themainpointofasentenceisfoundinitsmainclause.Knowingthat,readeachofthe choices.ChoicesAandCgiveequalweighttothelocationandconvenienceofrecyclingcenters. ChoiceDstressesthelocationratherthantheconvenientarrangementofbinsinrecyclingcenters. ChoiceEnotonlyaltersthemeaningbutcontainsbothanambiguouspronounreference(“its”)and anawkwardusage(“providedbins”).Therefore,choiceBisthebestanswer.Ithighlightsthefacilities offeredbyrecyclingcenterswhilediminishingtheimportanceoftheirlocation. HowtoFindAnswerstoImprovingParagraphsQuestions •Readtheentireessay,payingattentiontoitsmainideaandtothewriter ’spurpose. •Ignoreallerrorsexceptthoseraisedbythemultiple-choicequestions. •Carefullyreadeachquestionandthefivechoices. •Eliminateanychoicethatcontainswordiness,repetition,andawkwardexpression.Alsodiscard choicesthatcontainflawsingrammarandusage.(Thetypesoferrorstolookforarediscussed fullyinPartV.) •Asyouanswerthequestions,keepinmindthemainideaofeachparagraphandthepointofthe wholeessay.(Fordetailsonallaspectsofessaywriting,seePartIII.) AWORDOFENCOURAGEMENT The multiple-choice sections of the SAT Writing Test pertain to matters of grammar, usage, and rhetorictypicallytaughtinEnglishclasses.Ifyoursenseofgrammarandusageisrusty,however,or if rhetoric is a mystery, take heart. This book, after all, is a thorough test-prep guide that explains virtuallyeverythingyouneedtoknowforthetestanddescribeshowyoucanearnascoretomake youproud. Areyoureadytobegin?Ifso,setasideanhourtocompletethesamplewritingtest.Goodluck! PleaseNote:AlldirectionswhichappearfortheDiagnosticandPracticeTestsaresimilartothose ontheactualexam.SincethisisaneBook,pleaserecordallanswersseparately. This e-Book contains hyperlinks that help you navigate through content, bring you to helpful resources,andallowyoutoclickbetweenquestionsandanswers. PARTII DRESSREHEARSAL:ASAMPLETEST •TakingaFull-LengthWritingTest •FindingtheBestAnswers •CheckingYourAnswers •HowtoScoreYourOwnEssay •WhattheNumbersTellYou •CalculatingYourScoreontheWritingTest Bytakingthesampletest,you’llquicklybecomefamiliarwiththelengthandformatoftheexam. You’llalsobegintoidentifyyourstrengthsandweaknessesasawriter. TheSATalwaysbeginswiththeessayquestionandthenoffersseveralsectionsofmathand readingquestions.TheWritingTestresumesinSection4or5oftheSATwiththirty-fivemultiplechoicequestionsandthen,afterstillmoremathandreadingquestions,concludeswithfourteen additionalmultiple-choicequestionsonwriting.Thissampletest,therefore,differsfromarealSAT becausethethreesectionsofwritingquestionsfollowoneaftertheother. Despitethisdifference,trytosimulateactualtestconditionsasyouadministerthistesttoyourself. Here’showtodoit: Setasideanuninterruptedhour. Useatimer,awatch,oraclocktotimeeachsection. Section1:EssayQuestion(25minutes) Section2:Multiple-ChoiceQuestions(25minutes) Section3:MoreMultiple-ChoiceQuestions(10minutes) Workononlyonesectionatatime. Don’tskipaheadtothenextsectionbeforetheallottedtimeisup. Don’treturntoaprevioussectiononceit’sover. Writetheessayonseparatepiecespapernolargerthan8½×11inches,thesizeofanofficial SATessayresponsesheet.Useapenciltowriteyouressay.AnSATessaywrittenininkwill bescored“zero.” Markyourmultiple-choiceanswersinpencilontheanswersheetprovided. Whenyou’vecompletedthetest,checkyouranswerswiththeAnswerKeyandfillinthePerformance EvaluationChart.Yourscoreoneachsection,alongwithyourtotalscore,willgiveyouaprofileof whatyou’vedonewellandwhatyoushouldstudybetweennowandSATday.Thechartwillalsotell youthetypesofquestionsyouansweredmostsuccessfully.Besuretoreadtheanswerexplanations for the questions you got wrong. On second thought, read all the explanations. You may pick up a pointerortwothatwillserveyouwellonfutureexams. Notethateachquestionisratedbyitslevelofdifficulty—EASY,MEDIUM,orHARD.“Easy” questionsareansweredcorrectlybyapproximately80to99percentofstudentstakingtheexam.A “medium”ratingsuggeststhatmorethan65percentwillanswerthequestioncorrectly.Andofthe “hard”questions,fewerthan65percentoftesttakersarelikelytochoosetherightanswer. Inanidealworldeveryonewillansweralleasy,medium,andhardquestionscorrectly.Inreality, however,that’snotgoingtohappen.TheSATisatest,afterall,thatismeanttodifferentiatestudents fromeachother.Ifyoumakemistakes,learnfromthem.Theanswerexplanationswilldirectyouto relevantpagestostudy. Althoughit’shardtoassessyourownessayobjectively,don’tshyawayfromtrying.Lettheessay coolforawhile—maybeadayormore.Then,rereaditwithanopenmindandafreshpairofeyes. RateyouressayusingtheSelf-ScoringGuide.Forasecondopinion,findatrustedandinformed friend—ormaybeateacher,counselor,orparent—toread,rate,anddiscussyouressaywithyou. Finally,convertyourrawscoresintotheSAT’s200–800scaledscore.Rememberthatyourscaled scoreisonlyanapproximationofwhatyoumightearnonanactualSATWritingTest. Areyoureadytobegin?Goodluck! SampleTest SECTION1 ESSAY TIME:25MINUTES Directions: Plan and write an essay in response to the assigned topic. Use the essay as an opportunitytoshowhowclearlyandeffectivelyyoucanexpressanddevelopideas.Presentyour thoughts logically and precisely. Include specific evidence or examples to support your point of view.Aplain,naturalwritingstyleisprobablybest.Thenumberofwordsisuptoyou,butquantity islessimportantthanquality.(SeePartIIIofthisbookfortipsonwritingfirst-rateessays.) Limityouressaytotwosidesofthelinedpaperprovided.You’llhaveenoughspaceifyouwrite oneverylineandavoidwidemargins.Writeorprintlegiblybecausehandwritingthat’shardor impossibletoreadwilldecreaseyourscore. BESURETOWRITEONLYONTHEASSIGNEDTOPIC.ANESSAYWRITTENON ANOTHERTOPICWILLBESCORED“ZERO.” Ifyoufinishinlessthantwenty-fiveminutes,checkyourwork.Donotturntoanothersectionof thetest. SeePracticeTestA. Thinkcarefullyaboutthefollowingpassageandthefollowingassignment. WheneverSocialStudiesteacherKarenGreenesitsdowntogradeastackofpapers,she wonderswhetherthegradesconveyusefulinformationaboutstudentlearningtothestudents themselves,toparents,counselors,oreventocolleges. Whilemostwouldagreethatgradesprovideasortoffeedbackonstudentperformance, findingconsensusonthecriteriatouseforgradingisadifferentstory.ShouldKarenreward highgradestodiligent,hard-workingstudentswithverylowskillsandlimitedachievement?Or shouldsheriskdiscouragingsuchstudentsbygivingthemtheDsthattheirworkreally deserves?Whataboutgradingstudentscapableofdoingexcellentworkwhentheyputtheir mindtoitbutwhorarelybother?AnFforlackofeffortmightprodthemtotryharder,but woulditaccuratelyreflecttherealqualityoftheirwork? AdaptedfromLisaBirk,HarvardEducationLetter,October2004 Assignment: Should students who work very hard in a course earn very high grades, or should achievement rather than effort determine students’ grades? Plan and write an essay in which you developyourpointofviewonthisissue.Supportyourpositionwithreasoningandexamplestaken fromyourobservations,experience,studies,orreading. Section1 ESSAY Timeallowed:25minutes Limityouressaytotwopages.Donotskiplines.Writeonlyinsidethebox. Endofessay. DonotproceedtoSection2untiltheallottedtime forSection1haspassed. AnswerSheetfor Multiple-ChoiceQuestions SECTION2 MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS TIME:25MINUTES ImprovingSentences Directions: The underlined sentences and sentence parts below may contain errors in standard English, including awkward or ambiguous expression, poor word choice (diction), incorrect sentence structure, or faulty grammar, usage, and punctuation. Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichofthefivealternateversionsmosteffectivelyandcorrectlyexpressesthemeaning oftheunderlinedmaterial.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorrespondingspaceontheanswer sheet. Choice A always repeats the original. Choose A if none of the other choices improves the originalsentence. EXAMPLE ANSWER MyoldAuntMaudlovestocook, and eatingalso. (A)cook,andeatingalso (B)cookandtoeat (C)cook,andtoeatalso (D)cookandeatbesides (E)cookand,inaddition,eat 1.TheBroadwaytraditionof“musicalcomedy”haschangedovertheyearsbecauseoftheir storiesandmusicexploringseriousthemes,especiallytheconsequencesofwar,tyranny,and death. (A)oftheirstoriesandmusicexploring (B)oftheirstoriesandmusicexploringtheir (C)itsstoriesandmusicexplore (D)itsstoriesandmusicexplores (E)ofhowitexploresthroughstoriesandmusic 2.Mr.Richwasnotthefirstmathteachertoentertainandinspirehisstudents,buthehasbeenthe firstwhoturnedmathclassintoaparty. (A)hasbeenthefirstwhoturned (B)hadbeenthefirstwhoturned (C)wasthefirsthavingturned (D)wasthefirsttoturn (E)havingbeenthefirsttoturn 3.Ourinterscholasticathleticschedulesweremadetoorecklessly,withoutsufficientplanning behindit. (A)toorecklessly,withoutsufficientplanningbehindit (B)tooreckless,withoutsufficientplanningbehindit (C)toorecklessly,withoutsufficientplanningbehindthem (D)tooreckless,andthereisnotsufficientplanningbehindthem (E)toorecklessly,andthereisnotsufficientplanningbehindit 4.Manyseniorcitizensarereluctanttogoonline,itresultsfromnotknowingmuchabout computersandbeingabitscaredofit. (A)online,itresultsfromnotknowingmuchaboutcomputersandbeingabitscaredofit (B)onlineresultingfromnotknowingmuchaboutcomputersandbeingabitscaredofit (C)onlineforthereasonbeingthattheydon’tknowmuchaboutcomputersandareabitscared ofthem (D)onlinebecauseofknowinglittleaboutcomputersandbeingscaredofit (E)onlinebecausetheyknowlittleaboutcomputersandareabitscaredofthem 5.Theprogramofextracurricularactivitieswerecutfromtheschoolbudgetinspiteofthem beingregardedasoneofthemostimportantaspectsofhighschool. (A)werecutfromtheschoolbudgetinspiteofthembeingregarded (B)wascutfromtheschoolbudgetinspiteofthembeingregarded (C)wascutfromtheschoolbudgetinspiteoftheirregardasbeing (D)werecutfromtheschoolbudgetinspiteofregardingit (E)wascutfromtheschoolbudgetinspiteofitbeingregarded 6.Asmodernastronomyincreasinglyemployssophisticatedspacetelescopes,high-speed computers,andyears-longprobesintoouterspace,humankind’sconceptoftheheavenshas changed. (A)humankind’sconceptoftheheavenshaschanged (B)humankind’sconceptoftheheavenshavechanged (C)therehasbeenchangesinhumankind’sconceptsoftheheavens (D)humankindhaveundergoneachangeinitsconceptsoftheheavens (E)humankindhashadchangesintheirconceptoftheheavens 7.Althoughwhalescangrowbiggerthanhouses,theyhaveearssosmallthatyoucan’tcleanthem outwithanordinaryQ-tip. (A)Althoughwhalescangrow (B)Whereaswhalescangrow (C)Despiteawhalegrowing (D)Whileawhale’ssizecangrow (E)Sinceawhalecangrow 8.Whenthebaseballrulebookisfollowedtooclosely,theyoftenspoilinsteadofenhancingthe game. (A)Whenthebaseballrulebookisfollowedtooclosely,theyoftenspoilinsteadofenhancing thegame (B)Whenthebaseballrulebookisfollowedtooclosely,itoftenspoilsinsteadofenhancingthe game (C)Thebaseballrulebook,iftoocloselyfollowed,oftenspoilsthegame,notenhancingit (D)Thebaseballrulebook,iffollowedtooclosely,oftenspoilsratherthanenhancesthegame (E)Ifyoufollowtoocloselythebaseballrulebook,itoftenspoilsratherthanenhancesthe game 9.Attheairportpassengersmustpassthroughmetaldetectors,buttherearenotfrequentbody searchesofpassengers. (A)detectors,buttherearenotfrequentbodysearchesofpassengers (B)detectors,andabodilysearchofpassengersisnotfrequent (C)detectorsbutarerarelysubjecttobodysearches (D)detectors,butthesearchingoftheirbodiesisrare (E)detectors,butthesearchofbodiesisrareamongthem 10.ThestudentsofCampolindoHighshowasmuchschoolspiritasanyotherschool. (A)asmuchschoolspiritasanyotherschool (B)somuchschoolspiritasanyotherschool (C)spiritlikeanyschool (D)asmuchschoolspiritasthoseofanyotherschool (E)asmuchspiritifnotmoresothanthatofanyschool 11.InsideMargaretJackson’shomewereanartstudiowithapotterykiln,high-techstainlesssteel appliances,andtherewasaswimmingpoollinedwithItalianmarble. (A)therewasaswimmingpoollinedwithItalianmarble (B)aswimmingpoollinedwithItalianmarble (C)linedwithItalianmarblewasaswimmingpool (D)theswimmingpoolwaslinedwithItalianmarble (E)aswimmingpoolwithItalianmarblewasthere IdentifyingSentenceErrors Directions: The underlined and lettered parts of each sentence below may contain an error in grammar, usage, word choice (diction), or expression (idiom). Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichitem,ifany,containsanerror.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorresponding spaceontheanswersheet.Nosentencecontainsmorethanoneerror.Somesentencesmaycontain noerror.Inthatcase,thecorrectchoicewillalwaysbeE(Noerror). EXAMPLE Jillwent ANSWER tothe ofthehillina fastertime herfriend,Jack. . 12.AlthoughheleftTexas asmallboy,Jimreturned hewassixteen thathe’d therestofhislifethere. 13. theconstantpressureofschoolworkandsports,Terry more than ,inhersenioryear. 14. thebeginningoftheplay, is twopuzzlingdilemmasthatMedeamustmustsolve she herordeal. 15.Thecommonsentimentthathardwork doesn’t afrailoldman hasaheartconditionandalongdrivewaytoshovelafterasnowstorm. 16. decades,scientistsanalyzedmassesofpublic-healthstatistics correlation heavysmokingandtheincidenceoflungcancer. 17.Saturday’sgame beingrecruited 18. foundahigh whyPaulie,oneofthe players,is colleges. everyroadinthetownisnowpaved,thereare someresidents thatthedirtroadsbepreserved. 19.Thecompany manufacturingdishwashersoapsinbrightcolorsbecauseconsumers respondto than 20.Theprofessor therealisticpainter reality, the impressionisticorabstractpainterrevealsapersonaloremotionalresponse 21.Manyofthecandidates,includingtheincumbentsenator theban 22. thelegislation inYellowstoneandothernationalparks. orientationprogramfamiliarizesnewninthgraders layoutofthebuilding,and thedailyschedule,teachesthemthe thechancetopracticegoing 23.Anexaminationof inthe currenteconomicstatistics thesalestax 24.Somesymbols a some otherspersonal,some contradictory,conflicted, ambivalent. 25.Sincetheearly1800s,thefamousHopeDiamond leavingbehind 26. themostnotoriousgem havesufferedonemisfortuneafteranother. thesettingprofoundlyinfluencesthethoughts,emotions,andactionsofthecharacters, aplacecanbeas 27. astoryas LadyGagaandBeyoncé thepeoplein popularsingers,butBeyoncéhasthe numberoffans. 28.Duringthispastyear,arapport call 29.Readers betweenmySpanishteacher Inow herfirstname,Louise. easilydrawadistinctionbetweenaso-calledliteraryclassicandanescapistpiece ofpulpfictionbyconsidering thebooks tothink ImprovingParagraphs Directions: The passage below is the draft of a student’s essay. Some parts of the passage need improvement. Read the passage and answer the questions that follow. The questions are about revisions that might improve all or part of the passage’s organization, development, sentence structure, or choice of words. Choose the answer that best follows the requirements of standard writtenEnglish. Questions30–35refertothefollowingpassage. [1]NostudentofAmericanhistorycanavoidhavinglearnedaboutagreattechnologicalfeat,the buildingofthetranscontinentalrailroadinthemiddleofthenineteenthcentury.[2]Thoughthe PacificOceancouldbereachedbytravelingoverlandinwagonsorbyseaviaSouthAmerica,many dreamedofatimewhentheEastwouldjointheWest,linkedbyatranscontinentalrailroad.[3]In 1869,thedreambecameareality.[4]Itwasagreatphysicalachievement.[5]Inaccomplishingthis greatfeatofengineering,theworkerswereexploited,andmanyofthemdied. [6]Chineseimmigrantswerethebackboneoftheworkforce.[7]Theyperformedunskilledlaborand alsothehighlyspecializedanddangerousjobsaswell.[8]Theworkerswereexploitedruthlessly.[9] Methodswereunsafeandcostlives.[10]Basketsholdingasinglepersonwerelowereddowntheside ofamountain,andtheworkerinsidewouldplacedynamiteintothemountain’screvasse,lightit,and trytomakeitbackup.[11]Iftheywerenotpulledfastenough,ortheropebroke,theyfelltotheir deaths.[12]Anestimated1200Chineseperishedjustso. [13]WiththehelpoftheU.S.government,whichcontributedmillionsofdollars’worthofpublic landandfundsforconstruction,theprojectwasrunbyagroupoffourwell-to-dobutcorrupt businessmenfromCalifornia.[14]Theyusedfraudtobuildtheirownpersonalfortunes,andtheir greedranrampant. 30.Whichofthefollowingisthebestwaytodealwithsentence1(reproducedbelow)? NostudentofAmericanhistorycanavoidhavinglearnedaboutagreattechnologicalfeat,the buildingofthetranscontinentalrailroadinthemiddleofthenineteenthcentury. (A)Makenochanges. (B)Switchitspositionintheessaywiththatofsentence2. (C)Change“havinglearned”to“learning.” (D)Relocate“inthemiddleofthenineteenthcentury”between“history”and“can.” (E)Deletethecommaandinsert“whichwas.” 31.Incontext,whichofthefollowingisthebestwaytorevisetheunderlinedwordsinorderto combinesentences4and5? Itwasagreatphysicalachievement.Inaccomplishingthisgreatfeatofengineering,theworkers wereexploitedandmanyofthemdied. (A)Itwasagreatphysicalachievement,inaccomplishingthisgreatfeatofengineering (B)Thefactisthat (C)Butstudentsdon’tlearnthatthisgreatphysicalfeatofengineeringcameatalargeprice because (D)Asaresult,historianssaythatthisgreatachievementmeantthat (E)Althoughbuildingtherailroadwasagreatphysicalachievement, 32.Whichofthefollowingideasbestalterssentence9inordertolinkittosentence8? (A)Consequently,methods… (B)Becauselaborerswerepushedtocompletetheworkasquicklyaspossible,methods… (C)Ontheotherhand,methods… (D)WithregardtotakingadvantageoftheChineselaborers,methods… (E)Agoodexampleofexploitationisthatmethods… 33.Whichofthefollowingbestdescribestherelationshipbetweensentences9and10? (A)Sentence10providesmaterialthatillustratesthestatementmadeinsentence9. (B)Sentence10provesthevalidityofthepointmadeinsentence9. (C)Sentence10introducessourcesofinformationthatconfirmsthetruthofsentence9. (D)Sentence10offersanalternativepointofviewaboutthepointmadeinsentence9. (E)Sentence10restatesopinionsexpressedinsentence9. 34.Whichofthefollowingwouldbethebestsentencetoinsertbeforesentence13tointroducethe lastparagraph? (A)Buildingtherailroadwassuchanexpensiveundertakingthatnoprivateindividualofthat eracouldaffordtofinancethewholething. (B)Payingfortheconstructionoftherailroadleftthefederalgovernmentwithamountainof debt. (C)Onesetofconstructioncrewsstartedbuildingfromtheeasttothewest,whileanother beganinthewestandbuilteastward. (D)ThebuildingoftherailroadwasindeedanAmericanmilestone. (E)ThePacificRailroadAct,adocumentrushedthroughCongress,wasgrosslyovergenerousinitsbenefitstothebuilders. 35.Whatmaterialisthemostappropriatetoaddimmediatelyaftersentence14? (A)Howthefourbusinesstycoonshappenedtomeetandformapartnership (B)Thefactsthatconvincedthefourmentobuildtherailroad (C)Reasonswhyshoddyconstructionmethodswereused (D)Detailsaboutunethicalbusinesspracticesduringtheconstructionoftherailroad (E)AnaccountofhowtheeastboundandwestboundtracksmetinUtahin1869 EndofSection2. DonotreturntoSection1.DonotproceedtoSection3untiltheallottedtimeforSection2has passed. SECTION3 MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS TIME:10MINUTES ImprovingSentences Directions: The underlined sentences and sentence parts below may contain errors in standard English, including awkward or ambiguous expression, poor word choice (diction), incorrect sentence structure, or faulty grammar, usage, and punctuation. Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichofthefivealternateversionsmosteffectivelyandcorrectlyexpressesthemeaning oftheunderlinedmaterial.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorrespondingspaceontheanswer sheet. Choice A always repeats the original. Choose A if none of the other choices improves the originalsentence. 1.Tonyshowedthreecollegeacceptanceletterstohiscounselor,hesaidthatNYUwasdefinitely hisfirstchoice. (A)Tonyshowedthreecollegeacceptanceletterstohiscounselor,he (B)Threecollegeacceptanceletters,whichwereshowntohiscounselorbyTony,who (C)ThreecollegeacceptanceletterswereshownbyTonytohiscounselor,thenhe (D)Aftershowingthreecollegeacceptanceletterstohiscounselor,Tony (E)Tony,havingshownthreecollegeacceptanceletterstohiscounselor,he 2.ManyproblemsamongthefacultydevelopedafterMr.Atkinstookoverasprincipalofthe school;theseproblemsdiminishedboththereputationandtheperformanceoftheschool. (A)school;theseproblemsdiminishedboththereputationandtheperformanceoftheschool (B)school,theybothdiminishedthereputationandperformanceoftheschool (C)school,whichbothdiminisheditsreputationaswellasdiminisheditsperformance (D)school;theseproblemsdiminisheditsreputationandperformance (E)school,andtheydiminisheditsreputationaswellasperformance 3.Despitebeingcalled“reality”television,theprogramabouttheplanecrashintheRockies seemedaboutasrealasacowjumpingoverthemoon. (A)Despitebeingcalled“reality”television (B)Althoughitsbeing“reality”television (C)Itwascalled“reality”television (D)Becauseitwascalled“reality”television (E)Callingit“reality”television 4.Tothinkthatonlymoneymotivatespeopletochooseacareerinprofessionalathleticsiswrong becauseinsportsmanypeopledoittofindpersonalsatisfaction (A)wrongbecauseinsportsmanypeopledoittofindpersonalsatisfaction (B)wrongbecausesportswouldhavehadaneffectonfindingpersonalsatisfaction (C)wrong,andthereasonisbecauseofthefindingofpersonalsatisfactionfromacareerin sports (D)wrong,becausemanyathletesfindpersonalsatisfactionoutofsports (E)wrongbecausemanyathletesfindpersonalsatisfactionintheirsport 5.AtthebeginningofJosephConrad’sstory“GasparRuiz,”asoldierhasbeenfalselyaccusedof cowardiceunderfire,desertionofhispost,andhegavemilitarysecretstotheenemy. (A)hegavemilitarysecretstotheenemy (B)givingmilitarysecretstotheenemy (C)givesmilitarysecretstotheenemy (D)militarysecretsweregiventotheenemy (E)theenemyreceivedmilitarysecretsfromhim 6.Essentialfordoingbusinessorjuststayingintouchwithfamilyandfriends,cellphones,they areincreasinglypopular. (A)cellphones,theyareincreasinglypopular (B)theirpopularityisgrowing (C)theyhavebecomemorepopular (D)cellphonesareincreasinglypopular (E)cellphones,theyhavegrownmorepopular 7.Drive-inrestaurantsthatservefattyfoodcanbefoundalongalmosteverymainhighwayinthe country,thisexplainingwhysomanyAmericansareoverweight. (A)country,thisexplainingwhy (B)country,thisiswhy (C)country;thisfactexplainswhy (D)country;thisfactexplainingthereasonwhy (E)country,andexplainswhy 8.Whenyoureadataveryfastrate,youreyesoftenskipwords,andyourmindgraspsthe meaningnevertheless. (A)Whenyoureadataveryfastrate,youreyesoftenskipwords,andyourmindgraspsthe meaningnevertheless (B)Whenyoureadataveryfastrate,youreyesoftenskipwords,yourmindnevertheless graspsthemeaning (C)Becauseyoureadataveryfastrate,youreyesoftenskipwords,andyourmindgraspsthe meaningnevertheless (D)Whenyoureadataveryfastrate,youreyesoftenskipwords,butyourmindgraspsthe meaningnevertheless (E)Readingataveryfastrate,wordsareskippedbyyoureyesevenwhenyourmindgrasps themeaning 9.Theauthor,guidingthereaderthroughEmma’smostintimatedreamsandfantasies,accurately portrayingtheplightofmanymiddle-classwomeninFranceinthe1850s. (A)Theauthor,guidingthereaderthroughEmma’smostintimatedreamsandfantasies, accurately (B)ThereaderisguidedthroughEmma’smostintimatedreamsandfantasiesbyaccurately (C)Thereader,guidedthroughEmma’smostintimatedreamsandfantasiesbytheauthorwho isaccurately (D)Theauthor,whoguidesthereaderthroughEmma’smostintimatedreamsandfantasies, accurately (E)TheauthorguidesthereaderthroughEmma’smostintimatedreamsandfantasies, accurately 10.Thecustomofnamingshipsafterdeadwarheroeshasbeenpracticedthroughmanycountries inhonoringtheirmilitarypersonnel. (A)throughmanycountriesinhonoringtheir (B)throughmanycountriestohonorits (C)inmanycountries;itistohonorits (D)bymanycountriestohonortheir (E)bymanyacountrytohonortheir 11.In2011,thecostofcollegetuitionincreasedconsiderably,whilecontinuingtogrowin2012. (A)considerably,whilecontinuingtogrow (B)considerably,anditcontinuedtoincrease (C)considerably,withcontinuinggrowth (D)considerably,itcontinuedgrowing (E)considerably,continuingincreasing 12.TheBlackDeathofthefourteenthcentury,possiblytheworld’sdeadliestepidemic,whose originisthoughttobecentralChina. (A)TheBlackDeathofthefourteenthcentury,possiblytheworld’sdeadliestepidemic,whose originisthoughttobecentralChina (B)TheBlackDeathofthefourteenthcentury,possiblytheworld’sdeadliestepidemic,its originisthoughttobecentralChina (C)Possiblytheworld’sdeadliestepidemic,theoriginoftheBlackDeathofthefourteenth centuryisthoughttobecentralChina (D)TheoriginoftheBlackDeathofthefourteenthcentury,possiblytheworld’sdeadliest epidemic,isthoughttobecentralChina (E)Thefourteenthcentury’sBlackDeathisthoughttohaveitsoriginincentralChina,was possiblytheworld’sdeadliestepidemic 13.Beforegoingontheseniorclasstrip,aparentalpermissionslipmustbefilledoutforeach student. (A)aparentalpermissionslipmustbefilledoutforeachstudent (B)astudentmusthavetheirparentalpermissionslipsfilledout (C)theirparentsmustfilloutapermissionslipforeachstudent (D)astudentmusthaveaparentalpermissionslipfilledout (E)permissionforeachstudentmustbefilledoutbytheirparents 14.ResidentsofChicagohavejustasmuchrighttocomplainaboutthecoldasthecityof Minneapolis,whichenduressub-freezingtemperaturesmostofthewinter. (A)ResidentsofChicagohavejustasmuchrighttocomplainaboutthecoldasthecityof Minneapolis,acitythat (B)ResidentsofChicagohavejustasmuchrighttocomplainaboutthecoldasresidentsof Minneapolis,acitythat (C)ResidentsofChicagohaveequallytherighttocomplainaboutthecoldasresidentsof Minneapolis,acitythat (D)ResidentsofChicago,havingtheequalrighttocomplainaboutthecoldasMinneapolis,a citywherethepopulation (E)ResidentsofChicago,rightfullycomplainingaboutthecoldasthepopulationof Minneapolis,acitywhereit EndofSection3. DonotreturntoSections1or2. ENDOFWRITINGTEST. AnswerKey SECTION1—THEESSAY Beforescoringyouressay,reviewtheuneditedtextofthefollowingsixessayswrittenbystudentsin responsetothesametopic.Rateeachoneonascaleof6(high)to1(low),andwriteacommentabout your impressions in the spaces provided. (Give a 0 to any essay not on the assigned topic.) Then compareyourcommentswiththoseoftwoSATevaluators.Finally,afterrereadingandscoringyour ownessayusingtheSelf-ScoringGuide,findaninformedandimpartialreadertogiveyouressaya secondevaluation. Theoriginalessayswerewrittenbyhand,butthesehavebeentypedexactlyaswritten. Jan’sEssay Studentsshouldearngradeswhichreflecttheirachievement.Therearemanystudentswhowork hard,yetdonotreceivehighgrades.However,iftheyareunabletoretaintheknowledgetheyhave beentaught,thentheyshouldreceivethegradetheydeserve.Ifthesystemweretochangeandevery studentwhotriedhardreceivedahighgrade,howwouldwedifferentiatebetweenthosewhoaretruly giftedandthosewhomerelymakeaneffort?Thisisespeciallyimportantinhighschoolandcollege, whereintelligencemattersalot.I,forone,wouldnotwanttogotoadentistoradoctorwhogotgood gradesindentalormedicalschoolbecausetheytriedhard.Iwouldwantthebestthereistotakecare ofme. Inyoungeryearsofschooling,ontheotherhand,effortshouldbegivensomecredit,butasjunior highapproaches,studentsshouldbedividedbyability.Thisdivisionshouldbemadeapparentwithin theirgrades. Thesystemofhighgradesforachievementshouldapplyineveryacademicsubject. Whenelectivesareinvolved,adifferentprocesscouldbeused.Ifsomeoneisnotartisticor athletic,buttrieshard,theyshouldbeawardedagradeforeffort. However,theirartisticandathleticclassmatesshouldbeawardedagradeforability.Ifwewereto changethisefficientsystem,thedeterminationofplacementofallstudentswouldbedisrupted. *Remember: Since this is an eBook, please record all of your impressions about the essay separately. Comment to Jan: Your essay addresses the topic directly with a concise and forceful opening statement: “Students should earn grades which reflect their achievement.” Yet, you avoid being dogmaticaboutitbythoughtfullyconsideringtheuseofdifferentgradingcriteriaatdifferentstages ofeducation.Especiallyinthefirstparagraph,youbackupyouropinionswithinterestingandspecific supportingmaterial.Yourreferencetodoctorsanddentistsisparticularlyapt.Throughouttheessay youmaintainaconsistentpointofviewandorganizeyourideaslogically.Sentencesarevariedand generally well-structured. Some imprecise language and awkward wording (e.g., “younger years of schooling,”“thedeterminationofplacement”)plusanenigmaticconcludingsentencetakeawayfrom theoverallqualityofthepiece. Eachreadergavetheessayascoreof5,foratotalscoreof10. Philippe’sEssay IfeelthattheissuehereandwhereIstanddependsonalot.Forexample,Ithinkitdependsonwhat kindofstudentyouarewhatkindofclassesyouareinandifyou’reanallaroundpreparedstudent. Yourgraderealydependsonwhatkindofpersonyouare.Ifyourlazyandtakeeverythingasajoke. Neverhandinwork.Latealot.Failtests,thenthat’sthegradeyoudeserve. Ifyoureallaroundpreparedstudentandyoureallytryhardyoushouldgivesomeonehighgrades. IhavehadthisexperienceinhighschoolIhavetriedhardbuthavenotachievedalotthoughmy effort.InMathClassIhadin9thGradebutIdidn’tdosogoodsoSummerSchoolhereIcome.Idid betteronit.IthinkthatduringsummerschoolIsetagoalformyselfandtheteacherhelpedme. That’swhyIdidgoodIthinkifpeoplesetagoalforthemselvestheywouldtryeveninanysubject. *Remember: Since this is an eBook, please record all of your impressions about the essay separately. Comment to Philippe: The error-filled usage and confusing presentation of ideas suggest that you havesevereproblemswithbasicEnglishexpression.YourwritingsuggeststhatEnglishmaybeyour second language. Including a personal anecdote about your math class supports your point of view and indicates that you have learned a worthwhile writing technique that should serve you well on futureessays.Numerousproblemsintheessaypointtoaneedforremedialworkinwritingbeforeyou attendcollege. Eachreadergavetheessayascoreof1,foratotalscoreof2. Johnny’sEssay Eversincetherewereschoolstherehasbeencontroversyovergrades,becausegradesinschoolin somewaysdeterminethecourseofyourlife.Whichismoreimportant,achievementoreffort?In whichsituationsisonemoreimportantthantheother? Ibelievethatastudentwhoworksveryhardinaverydifficultcourse,butdoesn’tquitemakeitinto the90range,shouldberewardedfortheireffort.Ontheotherhand,astudentwhoisnaturallygifted intheareaofthehardcourseandachievessaya95testaveragewithlittleornowork,shouldremain withtheirtestgradesfortheirfinalaverage. Asmustbeevidenttoanyone,achildinelementaryschoolshouldbegradeddifferentlythana studentatHarvardLaw.Effortshouldberegardedasthebasisforgradingofaveryyoungstudent, becausegradesK–6arecrucialyearswhenchildrenmustbeshowntheimportanceofeffort.Students atHarvardLawaredifferent.Theyshouldbegradedwithemphasisonachievementratherthaneffort, becausetryingharddoesn’tmatterifwhentheygooutintothereallawworld,theireffortisnot irrelevant.Iftheydon’twinthecase,noonecaresabouthowhardtheyworked. Itisridiculoustoexpectthatwecanusethesamebasisforeveryoneintheeducationalworld. Everyoneisanindividualandshouldbetreatedlikeone. *Remember: Since this is an eBook, please record all of your impressions about the essay separately. CommenttoJohnny:Youopenyouressaywithanunnecessarilybroadandpointlessgeneralization aboutgrades.Thenyouaskacoupleofquestionsthatsuggestyouarestillsearchingforanideato writeabout.Thesecondparagraph,whichmighthaveservedasarespectableopeningparagraph,is more direct. It contains a strong topic sentence, but its development could be clearer and more economical. The remainder of the essay consists of vivid examples to support your main idea. Sentences are varied and occasionally highly effective. In the third paragraph the terse statement “StudentsatHarvardLawaredifferent”contrastsnicelywiththelonger,morediffusesentencesthat precede and follow it. The concluding idea, however, is not totally justified by the content of your essay.Overall,though,theessayatteststoameasureofyourpromiseasawriter. Eachreadergavetheessayascoreof4,foratotalscoreof8. Gavin’sEssay Themajorityofstudentsworktheirbuttsoffinschool.Ibelievetheydeservehighgradesfortheir effort.Ifastudentdoes’ntworkhardanddoes’ntmakeaneffortIbelievethatstudentdeservesalow grade.Iftheylikeacertainsubjecttheytendtomakeaneffortanddowellintheclass.Thistypeof studentdeservesahighgrade.Ifthesubjectisdisliked,thestudentstillshouldstriveandmakean effort.Theycouldhaveanattitudeproblem.Ifthisstudentdoesbadly,eveniftheytrytheirbest,I believetheydeserveahighgradeanyway. Ifastudentisbehindintheireducationalcareers,itdoesnotmakeanydifference.Ifthistypeof studenttrieshardtheyshouldreceiveahighgrade.Peoplewhodon’tworkhardnormallygetlow gradesanyway.Gradesarenotveryimportantforthistypeofstudent.Alltheywantistograduate. Theydon’tgotocollege.Theyareusuallyatthebottomoftheclassacademicly,studyingisthelast thingtheydo.Iftheyapplyforajob,theiremployerswon’tasktoseetheirtranscriptAlltheywantto knowaboutthestudentisiftheypassedandgotadiploma. *Remember: Since this is an eBook, please record all of your impressions about the essay separately. CommenttoGavin:Youressay,whichfocusesontheissueofgradesandeffort,takesintoaccountthe different needs of certain types of students. Although it’s not always easy to follow your train of thought,youhaveclearlyattemptedtodevelopsomeofyourideasaboutgradesandeffort.Expression is awkward, however, and the repeated use of sentences beginning with “If” suggests a limited awarenessofsentencevariety.Inafewplaces,theessaysuffersfromincoherence,andthroughout,it demonstrateslittlemasteryofbasicEnglishusage,especiallyintheproperuseofpronouns. Eachreadergavetheessayascoreof3,foratotalscoreof6. Tad’sEssay Ibelievethatintheidealeducationalsystemstudentsshouldberewardedwithhighgradesfortheir effort.Nonecessarilyfortheirachievement.Ibelievethatasystemsuchasonebasedoneffortwould decreasethemotivationforcheating.However,asystembasedentirelyoneffortmightallowforan illiteratechildwhotriesveryhardtoreadtogetexcellentmarkshoweverneverlearntoread.A commonanalogymightbeaplayeronateam.Someplayerstryhard,buttheyshouldn’tearna startingpositionandcausetheteamtolosejustforthat.Realizingthisdiscrepancy,Ifeelthatifa “rewardbyeffort”systemwastobeinstituted,thenstudentswouldstillberequiredtomaintain appropriategradesonexamsineachsubject.Theseexamswouldallowforregular“checks”onwhat astudent’sactualunderstandingofthe“conceptsathand”were.Withoutappropriategradesonthese “understandingexams”astudentwouldnotbeallowedtoadvancethroughtheeducationalprocess. Ontheaspectoflesseningthemotivetocheat,this“rewardbyeffort”systemcouldhavegreat advantages.Becauseoneseffort,notachievement,wouldberewarded,astudentwouldhavetodisplay theirowneffortintheirwork,butmoreimportantly,intheclassroom.Itwouldbereallyvery difficulttocopysomeoneelse’seffortduringastudent’s“lunchperiod.” *Remember: Since this is an eBook, please record all of your impressions about the essay separately. CommenttoTad:Youressaystartswellandcontainssomeinteresting,althoughawkwardlyworded, ideasaboutgradesandeffort.Theexamplesyoupresenttosupportyourviewarenotaltogetherclear oreffective.Towardtheendoftheessay,thepointislostinapuzzlingarrayofquotationmarksanda hard-to-follow structure. Had you written more than one paragraph, the meaning of the essay might havebeenmoretransparent. Eachreadergavetheessayascoreof3,foratotalscoreof6. Tiffany’sEssay KarenGreene(theteachernamedintheessayquestion)facesanatypicaldilemma.Somany teacherstoday(mymother,forexample)saytheyareunabletochoosebetweenachievementand efforttodeterminetheirstudents’grades.Thereasonisthattestinghasbecomethemainemphasisin thecurriculuminmanyschools,makingstudenteffortirrelevant.Whenastudentdoesn’tdowellon tests,theirgrademustbelowregardlessoftheamountofefforttheymake. Thecurrenttrendineducationisapursuitforhightestscores.Themediaregularlyreportsreading andmathtestscoresofstudentsatalllevels,butalsohistory,geography,andscience.Whentest resultsgoup,educators,parents,andschooladministratorsrejoice.Whenscoresdecline,it’scrisis time.Teachersarecalledincompetent,administratorslosetheirjobs,stateeducationdepartments threatentocloseschools,andparentsdemandthecreationofnewcharterschoolsfortheirchildren. Asevidenceofimportantofhighscoresontests,Atlanta,Georgiaisanexample.Afterrecent statewideteststhecity’sschoolsuperintendent,manyteachers,andprincipalswereaccusedof changinganswersonstudent’smultiple-choiceanswersheets.Theschoolswereundersomuch pressuretoearnhighscoresthatthestaffresortedtocheating.Theydidn’tcarewhethertheirstudents couldreadwellordomath.Theironlyconcernwashightestscoresandcreatinganimageofahigh performingschoolsystem. Whiletheywouldn’tgoasfarastosupportcheating,manypeoplesaythatachievementshouldbe themostimportantfactorinevaluatingeducation.Theyuseasanexampleadoctorwhotrieshardbut isnotskillfulinthepracticeofmedicine.Nobodywouldgotosuchadoctor.Thatargumenthassome validity,butIthinkthatgradingstudentsshouldnotbeaneither-orsituation.Abalanceisbetter. Fortunately,therearesometeachersinmyschoolwhotakeabalancedapproachtograding.Onthe firstdaymyRussianHistoryandLiteratureteacherexplainedjustwhatisrequiredforagradeinthe midorupper90s.Wehavetogotheextramilebyshowinginitiativebeyondjustdoinghomework, participatinginclass,andtakingtests.WeneedtokeepuptodateoncurrenteventsinRussiaandview filmsorreadextrabooksaboutRussiansocietyandculture.Somekidssaylackoftimetodoextra workputsthematadisadvantageandthatgradesshouldbeonlybasedonperformanceontestsand assignments.Theteacherinsists,however,thatagradeshouldreflectthewholelearningexperience, notonlyroutinework.Heassertsthatintelligentpeoplehavearesponsibilitytomakeagreatereffort thanothersandoftentellstheclass,“Youcan’tsucceedonbrainsalone.” *Remember: Since this is an eBook, please record all of your impressions about the essay separately. CommenttoTiffany:Youressaybeginswiththeboldandperceptivecommentthattheessayquestion, inthecontextofpresent-dayeducationalpriorities,isflawed.Youthenprovidecompellingevidence, viaanaccountoftherecentscandalinAtlanta,tosupportyourviewthatthequestforhightestscores hascausedalossofperspectiveonwhatiseducationallyimportant.Youalsoprovideevidence,using the example of the incompetent physician, to illustrate the opposite—the inherent absurdity of rewardingeffortalone.Havingpointedoutthedefectsofdetermininggradesbyrelyingsolelyontest scoresorsolelyoneffort,youdemonstrateahighlevelofcriticalthinkingbydeclaringthatgrading shouldnotbe“aneither-orsituation.”Asyousay,a“balanceisbetter.”Indeed,bydiscussingboth sidesoftheissue,youressayitselfcontainssuchabalance,supportedbyyouressay’slastparagraph inwhichyouofferareal-lifeexampleofyouressay’smainpoint—thatgradesshouldbebasedona varietyofcriteria. Youressayiswellorganized.Itconsistsofacoherentprogressionofthoughtandcontainsample supportofyourmainidea.Itsdictionismostlyappropriate,anditssentencestructureissufficiently varied.Exceptforafewcarelessconstructions(e.g,“Asevidenceofimportantofhighscores….”) andsomegrammaticalflaws,theessaydisplaysanotabledegreeofcompetencyinwriting. Eachreadergavetheessayascoreof6,foratotalscoreof12. SELF-SCORINGGUIDE Using this guide, rate your essay in each of these six categories. Enter your scores in the spaces provided,andcalculatetheaverageofthesixratingstodetermineyourfinalscore.OntheSATitself, two readers will score your essay on a scale of 6 (high) to 1 (low), or zero if the essay fails to respondtotheassignment.Thescorewillbereportedtoyouasthesumofthetworatings,from12 (best)to2(worst).Becauseit’sdifficulttoreadyourownessaywithobjectivity,youmightimprove the validity of your score by asking an informed friend or teacher to serve as a second reader. Or better,recruittwodifferentreaderstoevaluateyouressay. Remember,too,thatSATreadersordinarilyevaluateessaysinrelationtootheressayswrittenon thesametopicatthesametime.Becauseyouarejudgingyourownessayapartfromothers,this guidemaynotyieldatotallyaccuratepredictionofthescoreyoumightearnontheexam. OverallImpression 6 5 Consistentlyoutstandinginclarityandcompetence;veryinsightful;clearlydemonstratesacommandof writingskills;few,ifany,errors Generallyeffectiveandreasonablyconsistentinclarityandcompetence;occasionalerrorsorlapsesin quality;containssomeinsight 4 3 2 1 Adequatecompetence;somelapsesinquality;fairlyclearandwithevidenceofinsight Generallyinadequatebutdemonstratespotentialcompetence;containssomeconfusingaspects Seriouslylimited;significantweaknessesinquality;generallyunclearorincoherent Demonstratesfundamentalincompetence;containsseriousflaws;significantlyundevelopedorconfusing Score DevelopmentofPointofView 6 5 4 3 2 1 Fullydevelopedwithclear,convincing,andappropriatesupportingmaterial;demonstrateshighlevelof criticalthinking Generallywelldevelopedwithrelevantexamples,reasons,andotherevidencetosupportamainidea; demonstratescritical-thinkingskills Partlydevelopsamainideawithrelativelyappropriateexamplesandreasons;showssomeevidenceof criticalthinking Weakdevelopmentofmainideaandlittleevidenceofcriticalthinking;barelyappropriateexamplesor othersupportingmaterial Lacksafocusonamainidea;weakcriticalthinking;inappropriateorinsufficientevidence Failstoarticulateaviablepointofview;providesvirtuallynoevidenceofunderstandingtheprompt Score OrganizationofIdeas 6 5 4 3 2 1 Extremelywellorganizedandfocusedonamainidea;supportingevidencepresentedinaneffective, logicalsequence Generallywellorganizedandreasonablyfocusedonamainidea;mostlycoherentandlogicalpresentation ofsupportingmaterial Reasonablyorganized;showssomeevidenceofthoughtfulsequenceandprogressionofideas Limitedorganizationandvaguefocusonmainidea;containssomeconfusioninthesequenceofideas Barelyrecognizableorganization;littlecoherence;seriousproblemswithsequenceofideas Nodiscernableorganization;incoherentsequenceofideas Score LanguageandWordChoice 6 5 4 3 2 1 Highlyeffectiveandskillfuluseoflanguage;varied,appropriate,andaccuratevocabulary Demonstratescompetenceinuseoflanguage;appropriateandcorrectvocabulary Adequatebutinconsistentuseofeffectivelanguage;conventionalbutmostlycorrectuseofvocabulary Someminorerrorsinexpression;generallyweakorlimitedvocabulary;occasionallyinappropriateword choice Frequenterrorsinexpression;verylimitedvocabulary;incorrectwordchoiceinterfereswithmeaning Seriouslydeficientinuseoflanguage;meaningobscuredbywordchoice Score SentenceStructure 6 5 4 3 2 1 Variedandengagingsentencestructure Reasonablyvariedsentencestructure Somesentencevariation Littlesentencevariation;minorsentenceerrors Frequentsentenceerrors Severesentenceerrors;meaningobscured Score Grammar,Usage,andMechanics 6 5 4 3 2 1 Virtuallyorentirelyerror-free Relativelyfreeoftechnicalflaws Someminorerrors;oneortwomajorerrors Accumulatedminorandmajorerrors Containsfrequentmajorerrorsthatinterferewithmeaning Containssevereerrorsthatobscuremeaning Score ANSWERSTOMULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS SECTION2 1.C 2.D 3.C 4.E 5.E 6.A 7.A 8.D 9.C 10.D 11.B 12.C 13.C 14.B 15.D 16.E 17.B 18.D 19.B 20.B 21.B 22.C 23.B 24.E 25.A 26.B 27.D 28.B 29.E 30.C 31.E 32.B 33.A 34.A 35.D SECTION3 1.D 2.A 3.A 4.E 5.B 6.D 7.C 8.D 9.E 10.D 11.B 12.D 13.D 14.B PerformanceEvaluationChart ConversionTable Thistablewillgiveyouanapproximationofwhatyourscorewouldbeifthispracticetesthadbeen anactualSATWritingTest.Theessaycountsforroughly30percentofthefinalscore;themultiplechoicequestions,forroughly70percent. Forexample,ifyourMultiple-ChoiceRawScorewas35andyourEssaySubscorewas6,thetable indicatesthatyourfinalscoreonthetestwouldbeapproximatelyhalf-waybetween500and710,or 600. AnswerExplanations SECTION2—IMPROVINGSENTENCES Note:Althoughsomechoicescontainmultipleerrors,onlyoneortwomajorerrorsareexplained foreachincorrectchoice.Pagenumbersrefertorelevantmaterialforstudyorreview. TIP KeytoLevelsofDifficulty Rating EASY MEDIUM HARD Percentageofstudents likelytoanswercorrectly >80% >65% <65% 1.CChoiceAcontainsapronountheir,whichfailstorefertoanyspecificnounorotherpronoun. ChoiceBtwiceusesthepronountheir.Neitherreferstoanyspecificnounorotherpronoun. ChoiceCisthebestanswer.Thepronounitsreferstotradition. ChoiceDmakesanoun–verberrorbypairingasingularverbexploreswithtwonouns, storiesandmusic. ChoiceEviolatesstandardEnglishidiom. (SeeFaultypronounreference,andFaultyidiom.) EASY 2.DChoicesA,B,andEincorrectlyshifttheverbtensefromthepasttensetoothertenses. ChoiceCisinthepasttense,butitalsocontainstheclumsyandpointlessphrasehaving turned. ChoiceDisthebestanswer.Itmaintainsaverbtenseconsistentwiththerestofthesentence. (SeeShiftsinverbtense.) EASY 3.CChoiceAusesthesingularpronounittorefertothepluralantecedentschedules. ChoiceBusesanadjective,reckless,insteadoftheadverbrecklessly. ChoiceCisthebestanswer. ChoiceD,likeB,usesanadjectivewhereanadverbisneededandalsoincludestheclumsily wordedconstructionandthereisnot. ChoiceEisclumsilyexpressedand,likeA,usesasingularinsteadofapluralpronoun. (SeePronoun–antecedentagreement,andFaultydiction,.) EASY 4.EChoiceAcontainsacommasplice.Italsousesthesingularpronounittorefertotheplural nouncomputers. ChoiceBincludesanawkwardconstruction,resultingfromnotknowing,andusesasingular pronounittorefertothepluralnouncomputers. ChoiceCisexcessivelywordy.Also,theconstructionforthereasonbeingthatisnot expressedinstandardEnglish. ChoiceDusesthesingularpronounittorefertothepluralnoun–computers ChoiceEisthebestanswer. (SeePronoun–antecedentagreement,andCommasplices.) MEDIUM 5.EChoiceAusesapluralverb,were,withasingularsubject,program. ChoiceBusestheobjectivecasepronoun,them,insteadofthepossessivepronoun,their. ChoiceCusesapluralpronoun,their,torefertoasingularnoun,program.Italsoincludes theawkwardandmeaninglessconstruction,theirregardasbeing. ChoiceDincludesanawkwardphrase,ofregardingit.Thesentencealsofailstosaywho regardstheprogramasanimportantaspectofhighschool. ChoiceEisthebestanswer. (SeeSubject–verbagreement,andFaultypronouncase.) MEDIUM 6.AChoiceAisthebestanswer. ChoiceBusesthepluralverbhavechangedwithasingularsubject,concept.Usehaschanged. ChoiceCusesthesingularverbhasbeenwithapluralsubject,changes.Usehavebeen. ChoiceDusesthepluralverbhaveundergonewithasingularsubjecthumankind.Usehas undergone. ChoiceEusesthepluralpronountheirtorefertoasingularantecedent,humankind.Useits insteadoftheir. (SeeSubject–verbagreement,andPronoun–antecedentagreement.) EASY 7.AChoiceAisthebestanswer. ChoiceBmisusesthewordwhereas,whichmeansinviewofthefactthat. ChoiceCcontainsthesingularantecedentwhalethatdisagreeswithitspluralpronounthey. ChoiceDcontainsfaultyexpression.Itisthewhaleitself,notitssize,thatgrows. ChoiceEsetsupafaultycause-and-effectrelationship.Thesizeofawhale’searisnotcaused bythecreature’soveralldimensions. (SeeFaultywordchoice,andAwkwardness.) HARD 8.DChoiceAisunsatisfactorybecausethepronountheyfailstorefertoanyspecificnounor otherpronoun. ChoiceBisunsatisfactorybecausetheverbsspoilsandenhancingareindifferenttenses. ChoiceCissimilartoB;thetenseofthetwoverbsshouldbethesame. ChoiceDisthebestanswer. ChoiceEisunsatisfactorybecausethewordorderinthefirstclauseisnonstandard. (SeeFaultypronounreference,Shiftsinverbtense,andFaultyidiom.) MEDIUM 9.CChoiceAisunsatisfactorybecausetheshiftingrammaticalsubjectfrompassengersto searchesleadstotheawkwardusagebuttherearenotfrequent. ChoiceBcontainsasubordinationproblem.Thesentencewouldbemoreeffectively expressedifoneclauseweresubordinatedtotheother. ChoiceCisthebestanswer. ChoiceDshiftsthesubjectfrompassengersinthefirstclausetosearchinginthesecond clause.Thisshiftleadstotheawkwardusagethesearchingoftheirbodies. ChoiceEviolatesstandardEnglishidiom. (SeeShiftsingrammaticalsubject,andFaultyidiom.) MEDIUM 10.DChoiceAillogicallycomparesstudentsatCampolindoHightoschoolspirit. ChoiceBusessoinsteadofasinmakingacomparison.Thesentenceillogicallytriesto comparestudentsatCampolindoHightoschoolspirit. ChoiceCillogicallycomparesstudentstoschoolspirit. ChoiceDisthebestanswer. ChoiceEusesasingularpronounthattorefertothepluralnounstudents. (SeeFaultycomparisons,andPronoun-antecedentagreement.) HARD 11.BChoiceAviolatestheparallelismoftheseriesofphrases. ChoiceBisthebestanswer.Itexpressesthethirditeminthelistofhomefurnishingsasa nounphraseparallelinformtoapotterykilnandhigh-techstainlesssteelappliances. ChoiceC,byinvertingtheusualwordorder,isawkwardlyexpressed. ChoicesDandEviolatetheparallelismoftheseriesofphrases. (SeeFaultyparallelism,andAwkwardness.) HARD SECTION2—IDENTIFYINGSENTENCEERRORS 12.CFaultyverbtense.Thepresenttenseshouldnotbeusedtodescribeaneventthattookplacein thepast.Usedecided. EASY 13.CFaultycomparison.Whenusingmoreinmakingacomparison,usethepositiveformofthe adjectiveasinmorehappy. MEDIUM 14.BSubject–verbagreement.Thepluralnoundilemmasrequiresapluralverb.Useare. EASY 15.DFaultydiction.Whenreferringtoaperson,usethepronounwhoratherthanwhich. MEDIUM 16.ENoerror. EASY 17.BWordiness.Useeitheroncemoreoragain,butnotboth,becausetheyareredundant. HARD 18.DFaultyverbtense.Thepastperfecttenseshouldbeusedtoexpressactioncompletedpriorto someothereventoraction.Usehadpreferredinsteadofwillprefer. HARD 19.BFaultypronounreference.Thesingularpronounthisfailstorefertoanyspecificnounor otherpronoun. HARD 20.BFaultyparallelism.Verbsinaseriesshouldbeinparallelform.Userepresents. EASY 21.BNoun–verbagreement.ThepluralnounManyrequiresapluralverb.Usehaveopposed insteadofhasopposed. MEDIUM 22.CFaultyparallelism.Verbsinaseriesshouldbeinparallelform.Usegivesthemoran equivalentverbinthepresenttense. MEDIUM 23.BNoun–verbagreement.Thesingularnounexaminationrequiresasingularverb.Usedoes insteadofdo. HARD 24.ENoerror. EASY 25.AFaultyverbtense.Usehasbeen(presentperfect)torefertoactionthatoccurredinthepastand isstillinprogress. HARD 26.BFaultyidiom.InstandardEnglishusage,theidiomissignificantto.Usetoinplaceoffor. HARD 27.DFaultycomparison.Adoublecomparisoniscreatedbyadding–ertotheadjective.Uselarger insteadoflargest. MEDIUM 28.BFaultypronouncase.Pronounsinaphrasebeginningwithapreposition(between)mustbein theobjectivecase.UsemeinsteadofI. MEDIUM 29.ENoerror. HARD SECTION2—IMPROVINGPARAGRAPHS 30.CThewriterhasused“havinglearned,”aformoftheverbusedtoexpressactioncompleted beforeanotheraction.(Forexample,Havinglearnedabouttheimpendinghurricane,the residentsevacuatedtheirhomes.)Insentence1,however,thewriterintendedtosaythatall studentsofAmericanhistoryhavelearnedandcontinuetolearnaboutthebuildingofthe transcontinentalrailroad.Therefore,adifferentformoftheverbisabetterchoice. ChoiceAisanunsatisfactoryanswerbecausethesentenceusesanincorrectverbform. ChoiceBsuggeststhatsentence2wouldserveasabetteropeningsentenceoftheessay.But becausesentence1ismoregeneral,itisamoreeffectiveintroduction. ChoiceCisthebestanswer. ChoiceDalterstheintendedmeaningbyimproperlyplacingthefocusofthesentenceon studentswhostudiedAmericanhistorylongago. ChoiceEimproperlydeletesthecommaandaddsneedlesswordstothesentence. HARD 31.EAlthoughsentences4and5aregrammatical,theyarewordy.Thephrase“accomplishingthis greatfeatofengineering”needlesslyechoestheideaexpressedby“greatphysical achievement.”Bycombiningthesentences,oneoftherepetitivephrasescanbeeliminated, therebymakingthesentencemoreconcise. ChoiceAcontainsacommasplice.Twoindependentsentencesmaynotbejoinedbya comma.Eitherasemicolonoraperiodandcapitallettershouldbeused. ChoiceBisunsatisfactorybecauseiteliminatesoneoftheessay’simportantideas—thatthe railroadwasatechnologicalmarvel. ChoicesCandDareunsatisfactorynotonlybecausetheyaddirrelevantideastotheessay,but theyalsocreateirrelevantlinksbetweentheexploitationoftheworkersandothermatters. ChoiceEisthebestanswer.Itreducesthenumberofwords,eliminatestherepetition,and addsinteresttothesentencebyalludingtothefascinatingcontrastbetweenthecolossal achievementofbuildingtherailroadanditshorrendouscost. HARD 32.BAlthoughsentences8and9aregrammaticallycorrect,todeveloptheessaymorefullyandto improveitscoherencetherelationshipbetweenthetwosentencesshouldbetighter.A transitionalwordorphraseisneededtoexplainthereasonforunsafeconditions. ChoicesAandCarecommonandoftenusefultransitions,butneitherisappropriateinthis context. ChoiceBisthebestanswer.Itprovidesanideathatclearlylinkstheinformationcontainedin thetwosentences. ChoiceDintroducesanawkwardlyexpressedideasuggestingimproperlythatonlythe Chineseworkerswereexploited. ChoiceEnotonlycreatesrepetitionbutitmarstheessay’sobjectivity. Whetherapieceofevidenceisgoodshouldbeleftforthereadertodecide.Writersshouldn’t editorializeonthequalityoftheirexamples. HARD 33.AGoodwriterstakepainstowritespecifically.Thevaguenessofthephrase“unsafeandcost lives”insentence9mightwellleavereaderswonderingaboutwhatperilsofrailroadwork thewriterhadinmind. ChoiceAisthebestanswer.Alongwithsentence11,itvividlydetailsoneoftheperilsfaced byworkersontherailroad. ChoiceBoverstatesthefunctionofsentence10becausethewriteroffersnoreal“proof”that themethodswereunsafe. ChoicesC,D,andEfailtodescribeaccuratelyhowsentence10supportsordevelops sentence9. MEDIUM 34.ATheshortlastparagraphoftheessaylacksamainidea.Thetwosentencescontainedinthe paragraphrefertotwodifferentmatters:(1)thegovernment’sroleinpayingforthe railroad’sconstruction,and(2)thecharacterofthemenwhorantheoperation.Whatthe paragraphneedsisatopicsentencethatsomehowunifiesthesedisparateconcerns. ChoiceAisthebestanswer.Itprovidesareasonforthegovernment’sfinancialparticipation intheproject,anditalludestothefactthattherailroad’sconstructionwasbasicallyaprivate enterprise. ChoiceBisanunsatisfactorytopicsentenceforthisparagraph.Itisbettersuitedfora paragraphonthedebtincurredbythegovernmenttopayfortherailroad. ChoicesC,D,andErefertomattersrelatedtothebuildingoftherailroad,butnoneofthem focusesdirectlyonthecontentsofsentences13and14. HARD 35.DSentence14leavesthereaderhanging.Itassertsthatgreeddrovethebusinessmentoengage infraudbutprovidesnoneofthegorydetails.Tobeconvincing,theparagraphneedstobe developedwithspecificevidenceandexamples. ChoicesA,B,andEarerelatedtothetopicoftheentireessaybuthavenothingtodowiththe issuesraisedinthelastparagraph. ChoiceCmaybeatemptinganswerbecauseitsuggestsvaguelythatthemencondoned shoddyconstructionmethodsinordertosavemoney,butthatisadetailbetterleftforlaterin theparagraph.First,theparagraphshouldfocusmoregenerallyonthemen’sunethical businessdealings. ChoiceDisthebestanswer.Itcorrectlydescribesthematerialthatshouldfollowsentence14. HARD SECTION3—IMPROVINGSENTENCES 1.DChoiceAisunsatisfactorybecauseitjoinstwoindependentclauseswithacomma.Therefore, itisacommasplice. ChoiceBisasentencefragment.Ithasasubject,letters,butitlacksaverb. ChoiceCiswritteninthepassivevoiceandalsocontainsacommasplice. ChoiceDisthebestanswer. ChoiceEcontainstwoclauseswithnogrammaticalrelationtoeachother. (SeeCommasplices,Sentencefragments,andMismatchedsentenceparts.) MEDIUM 2.AChoiceAisthebestanswer. ChoiceBcontainsamisplacedmodifier.Bothshouldmodifyreputationandperformance insteadofdiminished. ChoiceCiswordy.Thewordbothandthephraseaswellasareredundant. ChoiceDcontainsthepronounits,whichrefersambiguouslytobothfacultyandschool. ChoiceEcontainsaprobleminsubordination.Thesentencewouldbemoreeffectively expressedifoneclauseweresubordinatedtotheother. (SeeFaultyparallelism,Wordiness,Faultypronounreference,andFaultycoordination.) EASY 3.AChoiceAisthebestanswer. ChoiceBcontainstheawkwardlywordedconstructionAlthoughitsbeing. ChoiceCcreatesasentencecontainingacommasplice. ChoiceDincludesbecause,anillogicalwordchoiceinthecontextofthesentence. ChoiceEcontainsafaultymodifier;thephrasethatbeginsCallingitlacksanappropriate nounorpronountomodify. (SeeCommasplices,andMisplacedmodifiers.) MEDIUM 4.EChoiceAcontainsapronoun,it,thatlacksareferencetoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. ChoiceBshiftstheverbfromthepresenttothepastperfecttense. ChoiceCisexcessivelywordy. ChoiceDcontainsanerrorinidiom.Incontext,satisfactionoutofsportsisnonstandard English.Usesatisfactionin. ChoiceEisthebestanswer. (SeeFaultypronounreference,andFaultyidiom.) HARD 5.BChoiceAviolatestheparallelismofaseries.Thefirsttwoaccusationsarestatedasnouns —cowardiceanddesertion.Thethirdshouldalsobestatedasanoun. ChoiceBisthebestanswer. ChoiceCviolatestheparallelismofaseries.SeeA. ChoiceDviolatestheparallelismofaseries.SeeA. ChoiceEviolatestheparallelismofaseries.SeeA. (SeeFaultyparallelism.) MEDIUM 6.DChoiceAincorrectlyswitchesthegrammaticalsubjectfromcellphonestothey. ChoiceBusesapronoun,their,thatfailstorefertoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. ChoiceCusesapronoun,they,thatfailstorefertoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. ChoiceDisthebestanswer. ChoiceEincorrectlyswitchesthegrammaticalsubjectfromcellphonestothey. (SeeShiftsingrammaticalsubject,andFaultypronounreference.) MEDIUM 7.CChoiceAusesanawkwardphrase,thisexplaining. ChoiceBisacommasplice. ChoiceCisthebestanswer. ChoiceDcontainsasentencefragment. ChoiceEcontainsanonsensicalconstruction:Thesubjectrestaurantsisunrelatedtotheverb explains. (SeeAwkwardness,Commasplices,Sentencefragments,,andMismatchedsentenceparts.) MEDIUM 8.DChoiceA,althoughgrammaticallycorrect,ineffectivelyusestheconjunctionandtolinkits twoindependentclauses. ChoiceBcontainsacommasplice. ChoiceCillogicallyusestheconjunctionandtolinkitstwoindependentclauses. ChoiceDisthebestanswer.Theconjunctionbuteffectivelysetsupacontrastbetweenthe sentence’stwoindependentclauses. ChoiceEcontainsadanglingmodifier;theclausethatbeginsReadingatshouldmodifyyour eyesoryourmindinsteadofwords. (SeeFaultycoordination,Commasplices,andDanglingmodifiers.) HARD 9.EChoiceAisasentencefragment;itlacksamainverbtogowithauthor,thegrammatical subject.The–ingformofaverb(e.g.,portraying)cannotserveasthemainverbwithouta helpingverb,asinisportrayingorhadbeenportraying. ChoiceBcontainsmismatchedsentenceparts.Itistheauthor,notthereader,whoportraysthe plightofwomen. ChoiceCisasentencefragment;itlacksamainverbtogowithreader,thegrammatical subject.SeeA. ChoiceDisasentencefragment;itlacksamainverbtogowithauthor,thegrammatical subject. ChoiceEisthebestanswer. (SeeSentencefragments,andMisplacedmodifiers.) MEDIUM 10.DChoiceAcontainsanerrorinEnglishidiom.Incontextthephrasethroughmanycountriesis nonstandard. ChoiceBusesthesingularpronounitstorefertothepluralnouncountries. ChoiceCusesthesingularpronounitstorefertothepluralnouncountries. ChoiceDisthebestchoice. ChoiceEcontainsthepluralpronountheirtorefertothesingularnouncountry. (SeeAwkwardness,andPronoun–antecedentagreement.) MEDIUM 11.BChoiceAcontainsaconfusingsequence.Theuseofwhilesuggeststhat2011and2012 occurredatthesametime. ChoiceBisthebestanswer. ChoiceCcontainswithcontinuinggrowth,aconstructiongrammaticallyunrelatedtothemain clauseofthesentence. ChoiceDcontainsacommasplice. ChoiceEisexpressedinawkward,nonstandardlanguage. (SeeFaultysubordination,Mismatchedsentenceparts,andCommasplices.) HARD 12.DChoiceAisasentencefragment.Itsgrammaticalsubject,TheBlackDeath,lacksaverb. ChoiceBcontainsaclause(itsoriginisthought…)thatisgrammaticallyunrelatedtothe previouspartofthesentence. ChoiceCcontainsamisplacedmodifier.ThephrasebeginningPossiblytheworld’sshould modifyBlackDeathinsteadoforigin. ChoiceDisthebestanswer. ChoiceEcontainswaspossiblytheworld’s…,aconstructiongrammaticallyunrelatedtothe restofthesentence. (SeeSentencefragments,Commasplices,Misplacedmodifiers,andMixedconstruction.) MEDIUM 13.DChoiceAcontainsadanglingmodifier;theclausethatbeginsBeforegoingshouldmodify studentinsteadofparentalpermissionslip. ChoiceBusesapluralpronoun,their,torefertoasingularantecedent,student. ChoiceCusesapronoun,their,thatlacksaspecificreferencetoanounorotherpronoun. ChoiceDisthebestanswer. ChoiceEcontainsadanglingmodifier;theclausethatbeginsBeforegoingshouldmodify studentinsteadofpermission. (SeeDanglingmodifiers,andFaultypronounreference.) HARD 14.BChoiceAillogicallycomparesresidentsofChicagotothecityofMinneapolis. ChoiceBisthebestanswer. ChoiceCcorrectlymakestheintendedcomparisonbutincludesaclumsyconstruction,have equallytheright. ChoiceDillogicallycomparesresidentsofChicagotothecityofMinneapolis. ChoiceEisasentencefragment. (SeeFaultycomparisons,andSentencefragments.) HARD PARTIII HOWTOWRITEANESSAYIN1,500SECONDS •AnEssay-WritingProcessThatGetsResults •Prewriting:GettingSettoWrite •ChoosingaMainIdea •ArrangingIdeasPurposefully •Composing:PuttingWordsonPaper •DevelopingaThoughtful,CoherentEssay •WritingIntroductionsandConclusions •UsingaWritingStyleThatWorks •PolishingYourEssayforaTopScore Don’t be misled by the title of this chapter. It’s more of a come-on than a promise. For one thing, writinganessayin1,500seconds,ortwenty-fiveminutes,maybeacontradictioninterms.Anessay isbasicallytheproductofanauthor ’sthinking.Itexpressesapointofviewarrivedatafterreflection, analysis,orinterpretationofasubjectorissue.Whengiventhetopiclessthanhalfanhourbeforethe paperisdue,youcan’texpecttoporeovertheassignment.Ifyouthinktoodeeply,you’llrunoutof timebeforeyouknowit. Anotherreasonthattheheadingisillusoryisthatyoudon’tlearntowriteverywellbyreading abouthowtodoit.Youlearntowritebywriting,bymessingaroundwithideasandwords,by experimenting,bypracticing,andbydoingwhatseasonedpractitionersdowhentheyfaceasheetof blankpaperoranemptycomputerscreen:theywrite! StepsforWritingthePerfectEssay Youwon’thavetimetoinventaprocesswhenyouwriteyourSATessay.So,itpaystohaveaprocess inmindaheadoftime,onethathelpsyouworkrapidlyandefficiently.Trytomapoutaheadoftime thestepstotakeduringeachstageofthewritingprocess.Theplanthatfollowsisaplacetostart.Use itwhilewritingafewpracticeessays,butalteritinanywaythathelpsyouproducethebestessayyou can. FirstStage:Prewriting Prewriting consists of the planning that needs to be done before you actually start writing the essay: •Readingandanalyzingthequestion. •Choosingamainidea,orthesis,foryouressay. •Gatheringandarrangingsupportingideas. SecondStage:Composing •Introducingthemainidea. •Developingparagraphs. •Choosingthebestwordsforexpressingyourthoughts. •Structuringsentencesforvarietyandcoherence. •Writingaconclusion. ThirdStage:EditingandProofreading •Editingforclarity. •Editingtocreateinterest. •CheckingforstandardEnglishusageandformechanicalerrors,includingspelling,punctuation, andcapitalization. HowLongDoesEachStageLast? The truth is that the three stages overlap and blend. Writers compose, revise, and proofread simultaneously.Theyjotdownsentencesduringprewriting,andevenlateintheprocessweavenew ideas into their text. In fact, no stage really ends until the final period of the last sentence is put in place,oruntilyourproctorattheSATsitecalls“Time!” Nobookcantellyouexactlyhowmuchtimetodevotetoeachstage.Whatworksforyoumaybe differentfromwhatworksforothers.Butmoststudentsgetgoodresultsbydevotingmorethanhalf thetime—aboutthirteentoeighteenminutes—tocomposingandnomorethanfiveminuteseachon prewritingandediting/proofreading. TIP Thethreebestwaystoprepare: 1.practice 2.practice 3.practicesomemore. HowtoPrepare Thethreebestwaysforanybodytoprepareare1)topractice,2)topractice,and3)topracticesome more.DuringtheweeksbeforetheSAT,orevensooner,picksamesampleessaytopics.Following theinstructions,writeanessayadayforseveraldaysinarow,untilyougetthefeeloftwenty-five minutes’writingtime.Paceyourselfandkeeptrackofhowmuchtimeyouspendthinkingaboutthe topic,howmanyminutesyoudevotetocomposingtheessay,andhowlongittakesyoutoproofread andedit. Tomakeeverysecondcount,don’twastetimeinventinganessaytitle(youressaydoesn’tneed one).Don’tcountwords,anddon’texpecttorecopyyourfirstdraft.Becausereadersunderstandthat SATessaysarefirstdrafts,feelfreetocrossout,insertwordsusingcarets(^),andmoveblocksof text—asthoughyouwerecuttingandpasting—withneatlydrawnarrows.Ifnecessary,numberthe sentencestomakecleartheorderinwhichtheyaretoberead.Youwon’tbepenalizedforasloppylookingpaper.Justmakesurethattheessayisreadable. Becauseofthetimelimit,don’tplantowritealongessay.Essaysofmorethan400wordsare unnecessary.Itdoesn’ttakeeventhatmanywordstodemonstrateyourwritingability.Infact,lesscan bemore,forashorteressayof,say,250to300wordscanfocussharplyonalimitedsubject.Itcan alsobewrittenmorequickly,leavingtimeforrevisingandpolishingyourwork.Butdon’tbe satisfiedwithanabbreviatedone-paragraphessaythatcouldsuggestashortageofthinkingability. Justkeepinmindthatquantitycountslessthanquality. PREWRITING:GETTINGSETTOWRITE ReadingandAnalyzingtheTopicCarefully Attheriskofstatingtheobvious,beginbyreadingtheassignedessaytopic,orprompt.Readitvery carefully.Readittwiceorthreetimes,oruntilyouareabsolutelysureofwhatyouhavebeenaskedto do. SATessaypromptsusuallybeginwithaquotationorashortpassagemeanttodrawyouintoan issue.Theirintentionistoprovokethoughtandsuggestanideaortwotodiscussinyouressay.When writingyouressay,youmaywishtorefertothequotationorpassage,butyoudon’thaveto.Weaveit intoyouressayifyouwish,butonlyifit’sappropriateandadvantageoustodoso. Thepromptmaynotturnyouonrightaway,butonceyoubegintothinkaboutit,youmaybegin burstingwithgoodideas.Consideryouressayasakindofcontractoragreementbetweenyouand readerswho’llbespendingtimewithyourwords.They’llwantsomethingthatwillengagetheir mindsandhearts.Asthewriter,youarebeingchallengedtowritesomethingsorivetingthatreaders willresistthetemptationofmovingtheireyesoffofthepageorlettingtheirmindswander.Inaway, writinganessayisalotlikegivingagifttoafriend.Youthinkaboutwhatthey’dlike.Youtryto pleasethembychoosingitcarefullyandpresentingitasstylishlyasyoucan.Ifallgoeswell,youget arewardforyourefforts. PracticeinAnalyzingTopics Directions: Read the following pair of typical SAT essay topics. Underline the key words that define the task to be performed. Then, in the blank spaces, write the steps that you would take to respondtothetopic. TopicA Thinkcarefullyabouttheissuepresentedinthefollowingstatementandtheassignmentbelow. Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour,notadeadend.Failureissomethingwecanavoidonlybysayingnothing,doingnothing, andbeingnothing. DenisWaitley,SeedsofGreatness Assignment:Isfailureatemporarysetbackresultingfrominactionorindifference?Planandwritean essayinwhichyouexplainanddevelopyourviewonthisissue.Supportyourpositionwithreasoning andevidencedrawnfromyourreading,studies,experience,orobservation. Requiredtask: Explanation: Do you agree with Denis Waitley’s definition of failure—that failure is a temporary conditionthatstemsfromapathyandindifference?Ordoyouthinkthatfailureislikeanunavoidable chronicdiseaseoverwhichwehavenorealcontrol?Ordoyoustandsomewherebetweenthosetwo extremes? Theessayyouareaskedtowriteshoulddiscussyouropinion.Thepositionyoutakeislesscrucial thanyourabilitytosupportyourideaswithspecificexamplesfromyourknowledge,background,or observation.Examplesmaycomefrombooks,fromyourstudies,frompersonalexperience,orfrom whatyouknowaboutthelivesofothers. Aninterestingandreadableresponsetothequestionmightbebasedonyourownlife.Ifyouagree withtheprompt,youmightwriteaboutafailureyouexperiencedinschool,apersonalrelationship thatturnedsour,oradifficulttaskthatbombed.Brieflydescribethefailureandexplainitscause.Did itstemfromyourownapathyorinaction?Wereyouslowtoactorperhapsmisinformed?Maybeyou weredistractedornotthinkingstraight.Explainhowyourlackofsuccessmayhavetaughtyoua valuablelesson. Ontheotherhand,throughnofaultofyourown,youmayhaveexperiencedafailurethataltered yourlife.Inthatcase,youressaymightshowthatthepromptisdeadwrong. Obviously,thereareatleasttwosidestotheissue.Regardlessofyourposition,however,besureto includemorethanoneexample.Anargumentthatreliesonasingleexamplewilloftenfallflatonits face. TopicB Thinkcarefullyabouttheissuepresentedinthefollowingquotationandtheassignmentbelow. Askyourselfwhetheryouarehappy,andyouceasetobe. JohnStuartMill(1806–1873) Assignment:Doestheneedtoquestionorevaluateyourhappinessmeanthatyouarenotashappyas youthink?Planandwriteanessayinwhichyoustateanddevelopyourpointofviewonthisissue. Supportyourpositionwithevidencedrawnfromyourreading,studies,experience,orobservation. Requiredtask: Explanation: What you write depends largely on your interpretation of the word happiness. If you takeittomeanastateofblissfulwell-beingandunexaminedcontentment,thenyoumightagreewith theprompt.Questioningyourownhappinessmayindeedleadyoutothestartlingdiscoverythatyou arelesshappythanyouthought.SuchaneventmaycalltomindthefateofAdamandEve.Oncethey tastedoftheTreeofKnowledge,theylosttheirparadiseforever.Butifyouthinkofhappinessasa complex emotion requiring scrutiny from time to time, then your essay would take issue with the prompt.ThinkofSocrates’famoussaying,“Theunexaminedlifeisnotworthliving.” Oryoumighttakeanother,morecircumspect,pointofview.Maybeyoubelievethatabsolute statementsabouthappinessarefoolishbecausehappinesscomesinsomanyforms.Happiness experiencedoveralifetime,forinstance,differsgreatlyfromshort-livedmerrimentatapartyon Fridaynight. NarrowingtheTopic A well-focused essay on a limited topic is always better than an essay that tries to cover too much ground in just a few paragraphs. That’s why narrowing the topic is one of the crucial steps in planningyourSATessay.Thesharperyourfocus,thebetter. TIP Narrowyourtopicbythinkingsmall. Ifyouareafastwriter,youmightscribble350well-chosenwordsontothepageintwenty-five minutes.(That’saboutthenumberofwordsonadouble-spacedtypedpageusing12-pointtype.)Ifthe topicistoobroad,youarelikelytostateafewobviousgeneralities,resorttohackneyedideas,and maybeeventhrowthebullalittlebit.Inshort,youressaywouldbevague,superficial,tooemptyof substancetoshowhowdeeplyyoucanthink.Ontheotherhand,ifyou’venarrowedthetopic sufficiently,youstandafarbetterchanceofsayingsomethingsensible,scintillating,meaningful, provocative,andinteresting.Andneverdoubtthataninterestingessaywon’tworkonyourbehalf. It’simpossibletopredictthetopicyou’llbeaskedtowriteon.Becauseamultiethnic,multicultural, andmultitalentedcohortofstudentstakestheSAT,thetopicisboundtobeextremelybroad.Yourfirst task,therefore,istothinksmall—toreducethetopictoasizesnugenoughtofitintoashortessay. Megan’sStory Megan,aneleventhgrader,recentlytooktheSATandrecountedtheexperienceofwritingheressay. Hereiswhatshesaidaboutnarrowinghertopic: IwasalittlenervousatthebeginningwhenIopenedmytestbooklettofindanessaytopicon conformityingroupsofpeople.Atfirst,Iwasn’texactlysurewhatthatmeant.Buttheprompt cleareditupforme.Itsaidthatthedegreeofconformityinagroupinfluenceshowdecisionsare made.Italsodetermineswhothegroupleaderisgoingtobeandtheamountoffreedomthat memberswillhave.Thenthepromptpointedoutthatdissentanddisagreementaresometimesa goodthingbecausetheycanhelpagroupmakebetterdecisions. Theinstructionstoldmetoanswerthefollowingquestioninmyessay:“Dogroupsthat encouragenonconformityanddisagreementfunctionbetterthanthosethatdiscourageit?” Luckily,duringthepreviousfewweeksI’dwrittenafewSATessaysforpracticeandknewthat Ineededtobackupmyopinionwithevidencefrommystudies,reading,observation,or experience. Attheoutset,Iwassortofinclinedtoagreethatdissentinagroupleadstobetterdecision making.So,offthetopofmyheadIbegantojotdownthenamesofgroupsinthemarginofmy testbooklet—nameslikeChinese-Americans,airlineemployees,Netflixsubscribers,and graduatesofPennStateUniversity. Whoa!Isuddenlysaidtomyself,thesegroupsarewaytoobig.Besides,Irealizedthatineach grouptherewouldbemanypeoplewhoprobablyhadlittleincommonwitheachotherand wouldn’tshareaunanimousviewontheneedforgroupconformity. So,IX’edoutmyfirstlistandwroteanewone: A.debateclub B.thePresident’sadvisers C.platoonofU.S.Marines D.basketballteam E.schoolfaculty F.communityschoolboard That’sbetter,Ithought,butmylististoolong.TherewasnowaycouldIcoverallthesegroups inashortessay.Ihadonlytwenty-fiveminutestotalandalreadyusedupacoupleofminutes gettingmythoughtstogether.So,Iprunedmylistafterthinkingforafewmoresecondsabout eachgroup. IdecidedthatAandBprobablythrivedoncontroversy.Adebateclubwouldn’tbeadebateclub ifitsmembersalwaysagreed.Likewise,acircleofWhiteHouseadvisersneededtooffer conflictingviewsoneveryissuetohelpapresidentmakesounddecisions. SuddenlyIfeltconfidentthatmyinitialideawascorrect.I’dhavenotroubleansweringyesto theessayquestion. ButafterappraisingCandD,Iwasn’tsosure.Neitherofthosegroupswouldbeabletotolerate dissentifitexpectedtofunction.Onbattlefieldsandbasketballcourts,Iaskedmyself,wouldn’t successdependonstrictadherencetothegroup’svaluesandgoals?Irealized,thatayesanswer mightnotworkafterall. ThenIturnedtogroupEanddecidedthataschooloughttoencouragedissentand nonconformityamongitsfaculty.Itwouldbesodepressingtogotoaschoolwhereeveryteacher wasthesameandeveryclasswasruninexactlythesameway.ButIalsorealizedthattotalanarchy inaschoolwouldbeevenworse.Theidealwouldprobablybeafacultythatembracedasetof guidingprinciplesbutalsovaluedaschoolclimatethatpromotedreasonabledissentand individuality. AsforgroupF,Iassumedthataschoolboardwouldfunctionbestwhenitsmembersunited behindqualityeducationbutwouldlistentodissentingvoicesandweighseveralalternatives beforemakingapolicy. …Allthesethoughtsspedthroughmymindinafractionofthetimeittakestoreadthem.Inthe end,Idecidedthatmyessaycouldn’tcontainaneither-oranswertothequestion.Instead,mymain ideawouldtakeamiddle-of-the-roadposition,like:Agroup’spurposeandgoalsdetermine whetherdissentisahelporahindrance. BecauseIcouldn’tdiscussallsixgroupsinmyessayIpickedjusttwo—thebasketballteamand thepresident’sadvisers—tosupportmymainidea.AsIbegantowrite,Iremindedmyselfthat somewhereinmyessayIoughttotalkbrieflyaboutgroupswithothertypesofgoals,suchasthe facultyandtheschoolboardwheretheyhadtoletcircumstancesdeterminewhendissentishelpful andwhenit’snot.IthoughtthatbyincludingthatideaI’dbeshowingtheSATreadersthatIcould thinkdeeplyaboutanissueandmaybeevengetextracredit. Icametotheendoftheessaywithaboutthreeminutestospareandusedthetimetoproofread myessayandchangeafewwordstomakeitsoundmoremature. …I’mhopingforatleasta4or5onmyessay,buta6wouldbeawesome. Whileplanningwhattosayinyouressay,takeMegan’sstorytoheart.Letithelpyouresistthe temptationtoincorporatetoomuchmaterialintoyourSATessay.Don’tletyourselfbedelugedwith ideas.Rememberthatyoucanwriteonlysomuchintwenty-fiveminutes. P.S.OnereadergaveMegan’sSATessaya5,theothera6,foratotalscoreof11. Somewritersfindthatamoreefficientwaytonarrowatopicistobeginwriting.Iftheessay strikesthemasdullordisappointingafterafewsentences,theymayrealizethattheirapproachistoo vague,toobroad,tooboring(andifthewriterisbored,imaginewhattheessaywilldotoprospective readers).Becausethey’vewrittenthemselvesintoacul-de-sac,theymustgrittheirteethandstart again.TimerestraintsontheSATwon’tgiveyoumorethanonechancetostartover.Thatminuteyou devotetonarrowingthetopic,therefore,mayprovetobethemostimportantsixtysecondsofthe exam. ChoosingaMainIdea Onceyou’venarrowedthetopic,it’stimetodecidewhattosayaboutthetopic.Thatis,youneedto devise an idea that will become the purpose, or point, of the essay. An essay shouldn’t simply be “about,”say,hardwork,heroism,beauty,oranyothertopic.Whatcountsinanessayisthestatement youmakeabouthardwork,heroism,orbeauty—inshort,itsmainidea.Essaysmaybewrittenwith beautiful words, contain profound thoughts, and make readers laugh or weep. But without a main idea,anessayremainsjustwordsinsearchofameaning.Youdon’twantreaderscomingtotheend ofyouressayscratchingtheirheadsandasking,“Huh?What’sthepoint?” Everybitofyouressayfromstarttofinishshouldcontributetoitsmainidea.(Somepeopleprefer tousethewordthesisinsteadofmainidea.)Anymaterialthatwandersfromthemainideashouldbe discarded.Itnotonlywasteswordsbutdetractsfromtheimpactofyouressay.Naturally,themain ideaofyouressaywilldependonyourresponsetotheparticularissuepresentedbytheprompt.It willbeastatementofyouropinion. Let’ssaytheissuerelatestothefundamentalrightsofhighschoolstudents.So,youthinkaboutthe issueandnarrowthetopicbyfocusingonhighschooldresscodes.Yourmainideamightbeanyof thefollowing: 1.Yes,ahighschoolmayimplementadresscodewithoutviolatingastudent’sbasicrights. 2.No,ahighschoolshouldnotbepermittedtoviolateitsstudents’rightsbyinstitutingadress code. 3.Highschoolsshouldbeallowedtoimposedresscodesbutonlyonstudentsunderage16. 4.Highschooldresscodesnotonlydestroystudents’rightsbutalsoimplythatstudentslack goodjudgment. 5.Dresscodesimproveaschool’senvironment,therebyenhancingstudents’rightstoagood education. 6.Astrictdresscodeteachesstudentsaboutlivinginarepressivesociety. 7.Astrictdresscodeencouragesstudentstoappreciatetherightsthattheyenjoyascitizensina freesociety. Usingoneofthesemainideasasitsstartingpoint,theessaywouldthendiscussthevalidityofyour opinion. AnotherSATquestionmayaskyoutoaddressanissuerelatedtoteenagedrivers.Let’ssay,for instance,youareaskedtowriteaboutseatbeltlawsthatrequireeveryoneinacar—driverandall passengersfrontandback—tobuckleup.Yourmainpointmightbethatseatbeltlawsinfringeona driver ’sfreedomofchoice.Ortheessay’spointmightbethatsafetylawssupercedeaperson’sright tochoosewhethertowearaseatbelt.Oryoumightusetheessaytoprovethatdrivingwithoutseat beltsisnotarealissuebecausetodosoisdangerousandstupid. CHOOSINGAMAINIDEAFORYOURSATESSAY Topic:Thepromptgivesyouanissuetowriteabout. MainIdea:Themainideaisastatementofyouropinionontheissue. Purpose:Theessaygivesyouanopportunitytodevelopsupportforyouropinionusingreasoning andexamplestakenfromyourreading,studies,experience,orobservation. Ifpossible,chooseamainideathatmatterstoyoupersonally.SATreaderswon’tfindfaultwith opinionswithwhichtheydisagree.Ifyougiveyourreadersonlywhatyouthinktheymightwant, you’rebeingdishonest,posingassomeoneyouarenot.Likewise,becauseyoudon’twanttosound pompousorpretentious,avoidpickingamainideasolelytoshowoffintellectualsuperiorityor politicalcorrectness.Anessaythatistruthfulandcomesfromtheheartwillserveyoubest. Atthesametime,however,steerclearofmainideasthatareclichésandplatitudes.Consideryour readers.AstheyplodthroughscoresofSATessaysonthesametopic,they’llappreciateandreward thosethatcontainfreshideas.Try,therefore,todeviseamainideathatwillsetyouapartfromother students.Notthatyourmainideashouldbeoffthewall.Creativityhelpsbutit’snotessential.You’ll neverbepenalizedforaclearlywritten,soberessaythatdemonstratesinsightfulthinkingandbeliefs. TheSATwillprobablyaskaquestionyoucanrespondtowithoutmuchstrain.Butwhatifyouhate towriteanddon’tcareforthegiventopic?Isitpossibletowriteadecentessayonatopicthatmakes youyawn? TheanswerisaresoundingYES!becauseyouhavenochoice.Youmaybebored,andwritingan essayondemandmayrubyouthewrongway.Butraisingastinkaboutitwon’tgetyoufar.Instead, acceptthechallenge,andcreatetheillusionthatyoucaredeeplyabouttheissue.Showyourresilience —aqualitythatcollegeadmissionsofficialsvalueandadmire.Regardlessofthetopic,psychyourself towritetheessayofyourlife. PracticeinChoosingaMainIdea Directions: Respond to each of the following prompts by writing three or more sentences that couldserveasmainideasforanessay. 1.“Whetheryouthinkyoucan,orthatyoucan’t,youareusuallyright.” HenryFord,1863–1947 Assignment:Doesattitudedeterminesuccessandfailureinanendeavor?Planandwriteanessay thatdevelopsandsupportsyourviewsonthisissue. 2.There’sanoldproverb,“Sparetherodandspoilthechild.” Assignment:Whichisamoreeffectivewaytoteachchildrentobehave—topromiserewardsorto instillafearofpunishment? 3.AdvertisementsfortheNewYorkStateLotterysay“Allyouneedisadollarandadream,”aslogan thatencouragesthefantasythatabigwinwillsolvealloflife’sproblems.Yet,manylottery winnershavesufferedunexpectednegativeconsequences.Theirdreamshaveoftenturnedinto nightmares,andtheirlivesareworsethantheywerebefore. Assignment:Shouldstateandlocalgovernmentssponsorlotteriesthatcanleavebothwinnersand losersworseoffthanbefore?Planandwriteanessaythatdevelopsandsupportsyourviewsonthis issue. 4.“Thereisnothinglikereturningtoaplacethatremainsunchangedtofindthewaysinwhichyou yourselfhavealtered.” NelsonMandela,ALongWalktoFreedom Assignment:Doweneedtounderstandourpastinordertounderstandourselves?Planandwrite anessaythatdevelopsandsupportsyourviewsonthisissue. 5.“Destinyisnotamatterofchance.Itisamatterofchoice.Itisnotathingtobewaitedfor,itisa thingtobeachieved.” WilliamJenningsBryan(1860–1925) Assignment:Doyouthinkthatadestinyachievedbythedecisionsandchoicesyouhavemadeis preferabletoadestinythatcomesfromchanceorluck?Planandwriteanessaythatdevelopsand supportsyourviewsonthisissue. Suggestedanswers GatheringandArrangingIdeasPurposefully Unlessyouareblessedwithadigitalmindthatinstantlyprocessesinformationanddrawsinsightful conclusions, spend a few moments gathering and arranging specific ideas, arguments, anecdotes, examples—whatever you can think of to support and develop your essay’s main idea. List your thoughts on paper—just a word or two for each idea. These jottings can be the working outline of youressay.Thendrawcirclesaroundkeywords,connectrelatedideaswitharrows,orjustunderline thethoughtsyou’lldefinitelyuseinyouressay. Nosingletechniqueforgatheringideasexcelsanyother,providedithelpsyouidentifywhat you’regoingtowrite.Whileyouplan,oneideamaytriggerafloodofothers.Maybeyou’llendup withmorebrilliantideasthanyoucanuse.(Everyoneshouldhavesuchaproblem!)Yourtaskthen wouldbetopickoutanddeveloponlythebestofthebest. Withmaterialsassembled,decidewhatshouldcomefirst,second,third.Thebestorderisthe clearest,theorderyourreadercanfollowwiththeleasteffort.But,justasahighwaymapmayshow severalroutesfromoneplacetoanother,thereisnosinglewaytogetfromthebeginningtotheend ofanessay.Therouteyouplandependsonthepurposeofthetrip. Eachpurposewillhaveitsownbestorder.Instorytelling,theeventsareusuallyplacedinthe sequenceinwhichtheyoccur.Toexplainachildhoodmemoryordefineanabstracttermtakes anotherorganization.Anessaythatcomparesandcontraststwobooksortwopeoplemaydealwith eachsubjectseparatelyordiscussthefeaturesofeachpointbypoint.Noplanissuperiortoanother providedthere’savalidreasonforusingit. TIP Rankyourideasinorderofimportance. Theplanthatfailsistheaimlessone,theoneinwhichideasarepresentedsolelyaccordingtohow theypoppedintoyourhead.Toguardagainstaimlessness,rankyourideasinorderofimportance. Thenworktowardyourbestpoint,notawayfromit.Givingawayyourpiècederésistanceatthestart isself-defeating.Therefore,ifyou’vecomeupwith,say,threegoodideastosupportyourthesis,save thestrongestforlast.Launchtheessaywithyoursecondbest,andsandwichyourleastfavorite betweentheothertwo.Asolidopeningdrawsreadersintotheessayandcreatesthatall-importantfirst impression,butamemorableendingisevenmoreimportant.Cominglast,itiswhatreadershave freshintheirmindswhentheyassigntheessayagrade. Thefollowingguidelinewon’tapplytoeveryessay,butabodyconsistingofthreesectionsisjust aboutright.Whythree?Mainlybecausethreeisanumberthatworks.Threepiecesofsolidevidence insupportofyourmainideacreatestheimpressionthatyouknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.Oneis insufficient,andtwoonlyslightlybetter.Butthreeindicatesthoughtfulness.Psychologically,three alsocreatesasenseofrhetoricalwholeness,like“blood,sweat,andtears,”and“ofthepeople,bythe people,andforthepeople.” Itshouldn’tbehardtodivideamainideaintothreesecondaryideas.Anarrativeessay,forinstance, breaksnaturallyintoabeginning,middle,andend.Aprocessislikelytohaveatleastthreesteps.In anessayofcomparisonandcontrast,youshouldbeabletofindatleastthreesimilaritiesand differencestowriteabout.Andasimilardivisionintothirdsappliestoanessayofargumentation— thekindexpectedontheSAT. Eachofthreeideasmaynotdemandanequalamountofemphasis,however.Youmightdisposeof theweakestideainjustacoupleofsentences,whileeachoftheothersrequiresawholeparagraph. Butwhateveryouemphasize,besurethateachideaisseparateanddistinct.Thatis,thethirdidea mustn’tsimplyrehashthefirstorseconddisguisedassomethingnew. TheFormula Thefive-paragraphessayformulaisasimple,all-purposeplanforarrangingideasintoaclear,easyto-followorder.It’satechniqueyoucanrelyonanytimeyouneedtosetideasinorder.Itsgreatest virtueisclarity.Eachparthasitsplaceandpurpose. Youneedn’tfollowtheformulatotheletter.Infact,aprofessionallywrittenessayorganized accordingtothisfive-paragrapharrangementisararity.Yetmanyessaywriters,eventhosewhotake acircuitouspathbetweenthebeginningandend,usesomeversionofit.Theirintroductiontells readerswhattheyplantosay.Thebodysaysit,andtheconclusiontellsreaderswhatthey’vebeentold. Becauseeveryessayisdifferent,however,thestepscontainendless,oftensurprising,variations. PracticeinGatheringandArrangingIdeas Directions: For the following essay topics, write three different and distinct ideas that could be usedtosupporteachone.Thinkofeachideaasthemainpointofaparagraph.Thenrankthemin orderofimportance. A.Topic:Theadvantages(ordisadvantages)ofrequiringallstudentstotakegymeverysemester B.Topic:Thepros(orcons)ofvideogames C.Topic:For(oragainst)anhonorcodeinyourschool D.Topic:Agree(ordisagree):“Thereneverwasagoodwar,orabadpeace.” BenjaminFranklin COMPOSING:PUTTINGWORDSONPAPER WritingaGrippingIntroduction Introductionsletreadersknowwhatthey’reinfor.Butavoidmakingaformalannouncementofyour plan,asin: Thisdiscussionwillshowthesignificanceoftelevisionasaninfluenceonthelearningof childrenfromages3to12.Distinctionswillbemadebetweenearlychildhood(ages3–7)and middlechildhood(8–12). Suchanintromaybeusefulinasectionorchapterofatextbookbutinashortessayit’soutof place.Rather,juststateyourpoint.Thereaderwillrecognizethetopicsoonenough,evenwithouta separatestatementofyourintention. JillBbeganheressayontherightsofhighschoolstudentsthisway: OnMondaymorning,October20,Iarrivedinschooltofindeverylockerdoorinmycorridor standingajar.Overtheweekend,schoolofficialshadsearchedthroughstudents’lockersfor drugsandalcohol.Ibelievethatthisillegalactionwasaviolationofbothmycivilrightsandthe civilrightsofeveryotherstudentintheschool. Thisopeningsetstheessay’sboundaries.Becauseshecan’tcoverallthereistosayaboutstudents’ rightsinoneortwopages,Jillfocusesononeissueraisedbyherpersonalexperienceonaparticular Mondaymorning. GoodSATessaysoftenbeginwithsomethingsimpleandrelativelybriefthatwillgrabandholdthe readers’interest.Jill’sopeningiseffectivebecauseittellsaninformativeanecdotethatleadsdirectly toheressay’smainidea—thatlockersearchesviolatestudents’civilrights. HereistheopeningofTomM’sessayonthetopicofdrugandalcoholabuse: Drugsandalcoholareaproblemformanyyoungpeopleintoday’ssociety.Manyteenagers smokeweedordootherdrugs.Manymoreparticipateinunderagedrinking.Societyisworking ontheproblembuthasnotfoundaneffectivesolution. If that introduction made you yawn, you’re not alone. Why? Because nothing in that four-sentence paragraph says anything that you don’t already know. In a word, it’s dull. Not only that, the topic beingintroducedisfartoobroadforashortessay. Compareittothisone: Whensixth-gradersgetdrunkandthirteen-year-oldssmokeweedeveryFridaynight,society’s gotaproblem.Andit’saproblemthatwon’tgoawayuntilsomeonefiguresouthowtogetkids tojustsayNO! This introduction uses a compelling image of young children out of control. It provokes curiosity, leavingreadershungrytoknowmoreabouttheproblemofabuseandhowitcanbesolved. Hereisanotherexampleofadullopening: Photographyisoneofthemostpopularhobbiesintheworld. Noreaderexceptmaybeanavidphotographerwouldbemovedtocontinuereadingtheessay.A morelivelyopeningevokesadifferentresponse: Itookmybrand-newdigitalcameraonspringbreak,butwhenIcamehometheboxwasstill unopened. Aha!That’sasentencethatleavesreaderswonderingwhathappenedduringSpringBreak.Itimplies thatthewriterisabouttotellastorythatexplainswhyhetooknophotos. Here’sonemoreexample: Dull:MostpredictionsthatGeorgeOrwellmadeinhisnovelofthefuture,1984,didnothappen. Sharp:WhydidthebrilliantauthorGeorgeOrwellgoof? The first opening, written as a nondescript statement of fact, won’t interest anyone unfamiliar with 1984, but the second one, a pithy question, is more powerful. It’s intriguing that Orwell, a great intellectualauthor,had“goofed.”Theveryideaenticesreaderstofindoutwhathappened. Bynowthemessageshouldbeclear:Openingsshouldnotonlyrevealthesubjectmatterandmain ideaoftheessaybutalsocompelreaderstogoontothenextparagraph. Asyouwritepracticeessays,tryusingthefollowingfivecommontechniques,eachillustratedwith anexamplefromanessaybyahighschoolstudent. 1.Startwithbriefaccountofanincident—realorinvented: Bylunchperiod,Megan,asenioratBrookdaleHighSchool,hadalreadytradedtextmessageswith herbrotherincollege,withherdadatwork,andwithafriendwhowasabsentfromschoolthat day.Althougheveryformofcommunicationhasdrawbacks,texting,likenothingsincethe inventionofthetelephone,hasopeneduptheworldtoteenagers. LisaN. Withonesentence,Lisahaswhettedherreaders’curiosityaboutwhatcomesnext.Herlistoftext messagessuggeststhattheessaywillbeabouttheeffectsofstayingconstantlyintouchwithothers, oraboutsomeotheraspectofcommunication. 2.Stateaprovocativeideainanordinarywayoranordinaryideainaprovocativeway.Eitherone willignitereaderinterest. Asanyfootballherowilltellyou,on-the-fieldbrainscountformorethanbrawn. OllieG. This unusual idea may cause readers to question Ollie’s sanity or maybe to analyze their own imagesoffootballplayers.Eitherway,Olliehasarousedhisreaders’interestwithaprovocative ideathatpresumablywillbeexplainedintherestoftheessay. 3.Useaquotation—notnecessarilyafamousone—fromShakespeare,apopularsong,oryour grandmother.Whateverthesource,itssentimentmustrelatetotheessay’stopic. “Youcantakepeopleoutofthecountry,butyoucan’ttakethecountryoutofthepeople.” GaryF. Withthisopening,Garyaccomplishesagreatdeal.Hegivesaclevernewtwisttoacommonadage and with a few words has introduced his main idea—the futility of changing people’s basic characteristicsorcorevalues. 4.Refuteacommonlyheldassumptionordefineawordinanewandsurprisingway. Eventhoughshe’sneverwrittenarhymeorverse,mybossatSafewayisjustasmuchapoetas ShelleyorKeats. RebeccaV. Rebeccahintsatanewandperhapsunusualdefinitionoftheword“poet.”Howcansomeonewho haswrittenneitherrhymesnorversesbecalledapoet?Thatthelabel“poet”appliestoherbossis intriguing because most poets don’t work as supermarket managers. In short, this intro quickens ourinterestinreadingtherestoftheessay. 5.Askaninterestingquestionortwothatyouwillanswerinyouressay. Whyarestoriesofcrimesofascinating? DougT. TIP Stateyouressay’smainideaplainlyandclearly. Doug’sopeninghaswideappealbecausemostofusreadthepoliceblotterinthenewspaper,tune tonewschannelsthathypecrimestories,talkaboutthelatestmurder,orwatchCSIonthetube.In otherwords,Doug’sessayinvitesustoexploreourfascinationwithcrime,bothrealandfictional. Althoughaneffectiveintroductionalwayshelpstodrawreadersintoanessay,youneedn’tfeel obligatedtocontriveasuper-catchyopening.Adirect,clearlywordedstatementoftheessay’smain ideacouldservejustaswell.Becausethere’snotimetodawdleduringthetwenty-fiveminutes allottedfortheessay,aplainstatementconveyingthetopicandmainideaofyouressaymaybeall youneed.Forexample,herearethreeordinaryopeningswritteninresponsetothefollowingprompt: Loveyourchildrenwithallyourhearts,lovethemenoughtodisciplinethembeforeitistoolate…. Praisethemforimportantthings,evenifyouhavetostretchthemabit.Praisethemalot.Theylive onitlikebreadandbutterandtheyneeditmorethanbreadandbutter. LavinaChristensenFugal,MotheroftheYear,1955 Assignment:Isitagoodideatopraisechildrenevenwhentheydon’treallydeserveit? 1.Thestatementthatchildrenshouldbepraised,“evenifyouhavetostretchthemabit”makesgood senseforatleastthreereasons. 2.Isitagoodideatopraisechildrenevenwhentheydon’treallydeserveit?Idon’tthinkso. Sometimesitmaybeuseful,butthereareseveralcircumstanceswhenundeservedpraisecanhurt morethanitcanhelp. 3.Becausepraiseisvitalinthelifeofachildaswellasinthelivesofadults,Icompletelyagreewith LavinaChristensenFugal. Noneoftheseopeningswillwinaprizefororiginality,buttheyalldothejob—introducingthe topicandstatingtheessay’smainidea.Openings1and2alsosuggestaplanfortheessay.Thefirst essayislikelytodiscussthreereasonsforagreeingwiththeprompt.Thesecondwillshowhow childrencansometimesbehelpedandsometimesbehurtbyundeservedpraise. Anothervirtueofthesesampleopeningsisthattheyareshort.Long-windedopeningscanwork againstyouontheSAT.Anopeningthatcomprises,say,morethanaquarterofyouressayreflects poorlyonyoursenseofproportion. Ifyoucan’tthinkofanadequateopeningrightaway,don’tputoffwritingthebodyoftheessay.A goodideamaystrikeyouatanytime.Infact,manywriters,needingtimetowarmup,beginwith materialtheyfullyexpecttodelete.Oncetheyhittheirstride,theyfigureoutthepointoftheiressays andworkonopeningssuretohooktheirreaders.Asyoupractice,youmighttryasimilartactic. Deleteyourfirstparagraphunlessitcontainsideasyoucan’tlivewithout. PracticeinWritinganAppealingOpening Directions:Hereisalistofgeneralessaytopics.Trytowriteanappealingopeningforeach. 1.Thecourageofone’sconvictions 2.Deadlines 3.“Keepit!Youmayneeditsomeday.” 4.Thewrongtimeinthewrongplace 5.Responsibility BuildinganEssaywithParagraphs Theinventoroftheparagraphdevisedasimplewaytosteerreadersthroughapieceofwriting.Each new paragraph alerts readers to get ready for a shift of some kind, just as your car ’s directional blinkertellsotherdriversthatyou’reabouttoturn. Yet,noteverynewparagraphsignalsadrasticchange.Thewritermaysimplywanttonudgethe discussionaheadtothenextstep.Someparagraphsspringdirectlyfromthosethatprecededthem. Theparagraphyouarenowreading,forinstance,islinkedtotheonebeforebytheconnectingword Yet.Theconnectionwasmeanttoalertyoutoachangeinthought,butitwasalsointendedtoremind youthatthetwoparagraphsarerelated.Abruptstartsmaybeusefulfromtimetotimetokeepreaders ontheirtoes.Butgoodwritersavoidastringofsuddenturnsthatcantransformsurpriseinto confusion. Inanessay,paragraphsusuallyplayaprimaryroleandoneormoresecondaryroles.An introductoryparagraph,forinstance,launchestheessayandmakestheintentoftheessaycleartothe reader.Theconcludingparagraphleavesthereaderwithathoughttorememberandprovidesasense ofclosure.Themajorityofparagraphs,however,aredevelopmental.Theycarryforwardthemain pointoftheessaybyperforminganynumberoffunctions,amongthem: •Addingnewideastotheprecedingdiscussion •Continuingorexplaininginmoredetailanideapresentedearlier •Reiteratingapreviouslystatedidea •Citinganexampleofapreviouslystatedidea •Evaluatinganopinionstatedearlier •Refutingpreviouslystatedideas •Providinganeworcontrastingpointofview •Describingtherelationshipbetweenideaspresentedearlier •Providingbackgroundmaterial •Raisingahypotheticalorrhetoricalquestionaboutthetopic Whateveritsfunctions,aparagraphshouldcontributetotheessay’soverallgrowth.Aparagraphthat failstoamplifythemainideaoftheessayshouldberevisedordeleted.Similarly,anyideawithina paragraphthatdoesn’tcontributetothedevelopmentoftheparagraph’stopicneedstobechangedor eliminated. TOPICANDSUPPORTINGSENTENCES Whether readers skim your paragraphs or slog doggedly through every word, they need to find sentences now and then that, like landmarks, help them to know where they are. Such guiding sentences differ from others because they define the paragraph’s main topic; hence the name topic sentence. Most,butnotall,paragraphscontaintopicsentences.Thetopicofsomeparagraphsissoobvious thattostateitwouldberedundant.Then,too,groupsofparagraphscanbesocloselyknitthatone topicsentencestatesthemostimportantideaforallofthem. TIP Usetopicsentencestoguidereadersthroughyouressay. Topicsentencescomeinavarietyofforms.Whattheyallhaveincommonistheirhelpfulness. Considerthemlandmarks.Todrivefromyourhometoschool,forexample,youturnleftatthestop sign,takeahalfrightundertherailroadtrestle,andarightattheExxonstation.Eachlandmarktells youwheretoturn.Similarly,inapieceofwriting,atopicsentenceoftenmarksaturningpointthat tellsreadersthedirectionthey’llbegoingforawhile. Mosttopicsentencescomefirstinaparagraph,buttheycanbelocatedanywhere.Andsome paragraphsdon’tevenneedatopicsentence.Instead,themainideacanbestronglyimpliedbyan accumulationofdetailsandideas.Forinstance,adescriptionofafast-foodrestaurantmightdetailthe crowd,thenoise,theoverflowinggarbagecans,thesmellofcookingoil,thelinesofpeople,the crumb-strewntables,andsoon.Areaderwouldcertainlygetthepicture.Tostateexplicitly“Itwasa busydayatBurgerKing”wouldservenopurpose. PracticeinDevelopingTopicSentences PARTA Directions: The following paragraphs have been taken from longer essays. Highlight the topic sentenceineach.Someparagraphsmayhaveanimpliedtopicsentence. 1.[1]MyfamilyhasmovedsooftenIsometimesfeellikeagypsy.[2]ThefirsttimewemovedIwas onlyfouryearsold,anditdidn’tbotherme.[3]Itseemedasthoughwejustgotsettled,though, whenmyfatherannouncedanewtransfer—toCalifornia,whereIgottostartschoolandwherewe stayedforthreeyears.[4]Butthenwehearditwastimetomoveon,andwesettledinMinnesota. [5]JustasIbegantomakefriendsandgetusedtotheMidwest,thecompanysentustoGeorgia.[6] FromthereitwastwoyearsinEnglandandayearinWashington,D.C.[7]We’vebeenin Massachusettsforalmostsixmonthsnow,andmymainproblemisansweringthatquestion, “Whereareyoufrom?” 2.[1]Anotherdifficultyisthatapersonwithapolicerecordmayhaveahardtimegettingor renewingadriver ’slicense.[2]Aconvictionforafelonycanpreventapersonfrombeingableto enteraprofessionsuchasmedicine,law,orteaching.[3]Itcanalsomakeitdifficulttogeta responsiblepositioninbusinessorindustry.[4]Specialhearingsarerequiredbeforeanex-convict canholdagovernmentjob. 3.[1]Musicblastsfromtwentyboomboxes.[2]Childrenscreechwhilesplashingtheirfriendsatthe edgeofthesea.[3]Teenagersthrowfrisbeesateachother.[4]Thewavesrushupthesand,gurgle abit,stop,andretreat.[5]Asingle-engineplane,trailingalongsign—EATPIZZAATSAL’S— buzzesoverhead.[6]Avendorshouts,“Hey,colddrinkshere,getchacolddrinks.”[7]Duringthe summerthebeachisanoisyplace. 4.[1]Clothingdesignerscreatenewstyleseveryyear.[2]Therefore,consumersrushoutandbuythe newstylesandcastawaylastyear ’sdesignsevenbeforetheclothesarewornout.[3]Forgotten styleshanginclosetsgatheringdust.[4]They’llneverbewornagain.[5]Peoplefallinlovewith newcarsandselltheiroldmodelslongbeforetheyareobsolete.[6]Justforthesakeofflashy styleandshinygoodlooks,theyscrimpandsavetheirmoneyorgodeeplyintodebt.[7]Andfor what?[8]Justtolookgood.[9]Allthemoneygoesintothepocketsofthemanufacturers.[10]If peoplewouldgetinthehabitofbuyinggoodsonlywhentheyneedreplacement,wastewould becomeanexceptioninAmericainsteadofawayoflife. 5.[1]Perhapsit’struethat“alltheworld’sastage,”asShakespearesaid,becauseIhavenoticedthatI actonewaywithonegroupofpeopleandanotherwaywithadifferentgroup.[2]Withoneperson Imayactlikealittlekid.[3]Imayactveryshyorsilly.[4]It’sasthoughIcan’tcontrolwhatI’m doing.[5]Thecircumstancesjustmakemeactthatway.[6]Then,atanothertimewithdifferent people,Iamthelifeoftheparty.[7]Iwon’tstoptalking,andpeoplethinkIamabout20yearsold. [8]IfeelthatIcanpretendsorealisticallythatIsometimesconvincemyselfthatIreallyamwhat I’mpretendingtobe.[9]That’saveryscarythought. 6.[1]Duringtheseyears,myfamilyhashadaboutsixtyfosterchildrencomeintoourhousetolive. [2]Wehavehadchildrenfromallbackgrounds,races,andreligions.[3]Eachchildbroughttoour doorbringsadifferenttaleofmisfortune.[4]Thesestorieshavegraduallygrownworseoverthe years.[5]Whenwefirststarted,theparentsofthechildusuallywantedhimorherbutwere temporarilyunableorunpreparedtocarefortheirsonordaughter.[6]Now,itisnotunusualfor themothertobesixteenyearsold,adrugaddict,oraconvict.[7]Mostofthetimethemotherisa combinationofthose.[8]Rightnow,wehavetwochildrenlivingwithus.[9]Threeoftheirfour parentsareinjail,andoneofthefathersisunknown.[10]Truly,astimegoeson,caringforfoster childrenhasbecomemorechallenging. 7.[1]Truetotalitarianismchampionstheideathateveryoneshouldbesubservienttothestate.[2]All personalgoalsanddesiresshouldbethrownasideunlesstheycoincidewiththecommongoodof society.[3]Freedomfortheindividualissacrificedsothattheleveloffreedomforallcanbe raised.[4]Withthisphilosophy,drasticimprovementsmaybemadeinarelativelyshorttime.[5] Almostbyedictfromtheheadofthesociety,educationandliteracyratescanbeimproved,and unemploymentandcrimeratesmaydecrease. 8.[1]Duringadolescencethemostobviouschangethatoccursisphysical.[2]Childlikeboysand girlssuddenlyblossomintoyoungmenandwomen.[3]Besidesundergoingphysicalchanges, though,thisperiodisusuallythetimewhenpersonalvaluesareexploredandmolded.[4] Decisionsneedtobemadeaboutwhatisimportantandwhatisnot.[5]Astruggletakesplace withinthemindofeveryadolescenttoformamoralandintellectualcodethatdeterminesthe qualityofthelivestheywillhaveinboththeimmediateandlong-rangefuture. 9.[1]ThestorybyStephenCraneraisesthequestionwhetherasoldierwhorunsawayfrom inevitabledeathinbattlemustbeconsideredlessofamanthanonewhostaysanddies.[2]To answerthequestion,onemustfirstdefine“man.”[3]Considerthestereotypicaloptions.[4]There istheArnoldSchwarzeneggertypewhosolvesalloflife’sproblemswithphysicalstrengthand advancedweapons.[5]ThenthereistheHowardRoarktype,acharacterfromTheFountainhead, whoclimbstothetopbyusinghisbrilliantmindandintegrity.[6]Finally,thereistheWilly Lomantype,acharacterinDeathofaSalesman,whostruggleshiswholelifepursuinganillusion. [7]Attheend,herealizesthathehasfoughtahopelessbattle,butatleasthehasfought. 10.[1]InWorldWarII,theUnitedStatesdroppedtwoatomicbombs,oneonHiroshimaandoneon Nagasaki,inordertodefeattheJapanese.[2]Americanhistorytextbooksjustifythebombingsas somethingthatneededtobedoneinordertopreventevenmoredeathsduringalongerwar.[3] Ourhistorybooksalsosaythatthedeathtollwasabout50,000,whiletheJapaneseclaimthe bombstookalmosttwicethatmanylives.[4]IftheUnitedStateshadlostthewar,thenthe bombingswouldhavebeenthoughttobecriminalactions.[5]Butsincewewon,thejudgmentof historyisthattheendjustifiesthemeans.[6]Infact,throughouthistory,thewarcrimesofthe victorshaverepeatedlybeenjustified. PARTB Directions:Topicsentenceshavebeendeletedfromthefollowingparagraphs.Afterreadingeach paragraph,writeanappropriatetopicsentence.Omitatopicsentenceifnoneisneeded. 1. My mother ’s nature is very outgoing, emotional, and impulsive. She enjoys dancing, going to parties,beingwithlotsofpeople,andspendingmoneyfreely.Myfather,ontheotherhand,isquiet, reserved,andcontrolled.Helooksatthingslogicallyandpractically,notgivingintohisemotions. Hefeelsmorecomfortablewithonlyoneortwofriends,ifany,andiscontentreadingabookor goingonasolitarywalkforrecreation. 2. This was especially true in track and field. As other countries learned American techniques of training,however,theirrunnersimproved.Nowathletesfromallovertheworldwinasmanyasor evenmoremedalsthanAmericantrackandfieldathletes. 3. Oneexampleofaself-destructivemonopolywastheautoindustryinthetwentiethcentury.Inorder tomaintaintheirgriponthedomesticmarket,Chrysler,GeneralMotors,andFordsquelchedthe competition. Inventions that might have helped them in the long run were ignored. Automobiles werechangedverylittlefromyeartoyear.Millionsofdollarsmorewerebudgetedforadvertising thanforimprovingeitherthecarsthemselvesortheprocessofbuildingthem. 4. Anangrycrowdthrustitswayintothepalacecourtyard.Hundredsofpeoplewieldingsticksand knives and pastry rollers screamed at the figure who emerged on the balcony. “We need bread,” they shouted, “we need bread!” The aristocratic figure above straightened her perfumed hair, wrapped her ermine shawl more tightly around her shoulders, and with a lift of her chin, turned andmutteredtooneofherladiesinwaiting,“Letthemeatcake.” 5. Fromthefirstpagetothelast,Icouldn’tputitdown.Theauthormusthavelivedwiththefamilyin thebookbecauseshedescribesthemembersinlifelikedetail.Shetellswhattheyate,howtheyfelt about religion, housing, politics, and sex. By the end, you know them as though they were your ownbrothersandsisters. 6. OnedayIwassmokingintheboys’bathroomwhenateacherwalkedin.Hetookmedowntothe principal’soffice,whereIwasgivenathree-daysuspension.Mymomgroundedmeforamonth, andIdidn’tgettheloanmydadhadpromisedmetobuymyfriend’susedcar. 7. Probablythemostimportantpartofthisnewlifeislearningtogetalongwithyourroommates,the peopleyouseemostoften.Findingtheperfectroommatemaybeimpossible.Thepersonshouldbe a nonsmoker and have similar interests to mine. She (it must be a she) should be considerate, courteous, generous, thoughtful, studious when I want to study, fun-loving when I want to party, respectfulofprivacyandpersonalproperty,andfinally,sheshouldhaveagreatsenseofhumor.In anutshell,sheshouldbelikeme. 8. InchildhoodIneverhesitatedtotakechances,tojumpoverwidecracksintherocks.SometimesI madeitacrosswithnoproblems;atothertimesIwasnotsolucky.Iscrapedmyknees,bledalittle, butcamebackdaringtotryagain.ButnowthatI’molder,Iincreasinglyfindmyselfshyingaway, afraidtofail,fearfulofgettinghurt.Iliveastyleoflifeinwhichbeingincontrolandontopof thingsisparamount,wherebeingthebestandbeingperfectiswhatIyearnfor.Iamafraidtomake mistakes,afraidtobleed,andafraidofbeingpowerless.Itakefewerchances. 9. He knew that he grew irritable more frequently. Why shouldn’t he, when nurses spoke to him as thoughhewassevenyearsold,pronouncingtheirwordsdeliberatelyandslowly.Theymusthave thoughthewashardofhearingordidn’tunderstand.Theyconstantlyforcedmedicineonhimand dideverythingforhimasthoughhewasincapableofhelpinghimself.Sometimeshegrewangry aboutthewayhewasignoredafterheaskedforsomething.Hiswordswerenothingtothem,justas hewasnothing. 10. Theydidnothavewrittenlanguage,butby1000 A.D.,theyhadbuiltpreplannedapartmenthouses four and five stories high. The foot-thick walls of oven-baked adobe brick, plastered over smoothlywithclay,kepttheoccupantswarminwinterandcoolinsummer.Butbyfartheirgreatest architecturalachievementwastheintricatesystemofcanalsandreservoirsthatirrigatedtheirfields andbroughtwaterformilesacrossthedesertdirectlyintotheirhomes. PARTC Directions: What follows is a three-paragraph excerpt from the journal of a visitor to the South Pole.Onseparateblankpages,writeatopicsentencethatissuitableforeachparagraph. AntarcticAdventure Bellies flattened on the snow, they pant and claw their way across miles and miles of frozen landscape.Ondownhills,theyhavetobebrakedandkeptundercontrolbywindingropesaroundthe runnersofthesleds.Afteraday’srun,thedogseatsupperandsleepsoundly.Thenextmorning,they barkandyipcheerfully,asthoughtoshametheirwearymasters. Thescaleisunreal,almostasifitwerealandscapefromanotherplanet.Awayfromthecoast,nolife exists,andtherefore,nobacteria,nodisease,nopests,nohumaninterference.Itisantisepticandcan onlybecomparedwithlifeundertheoceanorinspace. Althoughsnowoffersshelter,insulation,drink,buildingmaterial,andahighway,itsfriendlinessisa dangerousillusion.Iceblocksandsinisterpilesofsnowtellataleofavalanchestumblingregularly from the mountains all around. A person on skis could suddenly disappear in a cavern of deep, glistening powder. On foot, sunk to the hips in snow, you might cover less than a mile before droppingfromexhaustion.Suddensnowsquallswillblindyou,causeyoutoloseyourbearingsand balance,trappingyouhopelesslyinsideadriftthatmayultimatelybeyourburialmound. PARTD Directions:Printoutorphotocopyanessayyou’vewrittenrecently.Ononecopyunderlineallthe topicsentences.Letafrienddothesameonthesecondcopy.Thencompareyouranswers.Ifyou agree,youcanbeprettysurethatyourtopicsentencesaredoingwhattheyaresupposedtodo. ParagraphDevelopment Like an essay, a paragraph should have a discernible organization. Ideas can be arranged from generaltospecific,orviceversa.Chronologicalandspatialarrangementsmakesensefornarrative anddescriptiveparagraphs.Inacause-and-effectparagraph,logicdictatesthatthecauseprecedesthe effect,buttheoppositemaysometimesbepreferable.Asalways,clarityandintentshouldgovernthe sequenceofideas. TIP Developyourideaswithmorethanonesentenceorsingleexample. Ingeneral,aparagraphofonlyoneortwosentencesmaybetooscanty.Mostofthetime,thorough developmentofanideacallsforseveralsentences.Journalists,however,oftenwriteparagraphs consistingofoneortwosentences.Butthebulkofcontemporarynonfictionconsistsofparagraphs offourtoeightsentences. Inacoherentparagrapheachsentencehasitsplaceandpurpose.Disjointedparagraphs,onthe otherhand,consistofsentencesarrangedinrandomorder.Ortheycontainideasvaguelyrelatedor irrelevanttothemainidea.Meaningservesastheprimarygluethatholdsacoherentparagraph together,buttransitionalwordsandphrasessuchasforexample,also,but,andontheotherhandalso help.Inthefollowingparagraph,noticehowtheitalicizedwordsandphrasestiesentencestoeach other. [1]TomJoad,theprotagonistofJohnSteinbeck’sGrapesofWrath,facesadilemmaafterhis releaseonparolefromanOklahomastatepenitentiary.[2]Fiveyearsearlier,hehadkilledamanina fightwhenthemanaccostedhimwithaknife.[3]Althoughheclaimedself-defenseathistrial,Tom wasfoundguilty.[4]Uponhisrelease,heintendstofollowtheprovisionsofhisparole,includingthe requirementtoremaininsidethestateofOklahoma.[5]Whenhefinallycatchesupwithhisfamily, however,theyareenroutetoCalifornia.[6]Consequently,hemustdecidewhethertoobeythelawor helphisfamilystartanewlifeintheWest. Sentence1expressestheparagraph’smostgeneralideaandservesasthetopicsentence.The pronounhethroughoutthepassagetieseveryothersentencetoTomJoad,thesubjectofthetopic sentence.Fiveyearsearlier,insentence2,explainswhathadoccurredbeforetheeventsinthefirst sentence.Insentence3,althoughsignalsthatanewbutcontrastingideaisontheway.Uponhis release,insentence4,addsstillanotherlinktothetopicsentence.Thewordhoweverinsentence5 referstothedilemmaalludedtoinsentence1andexplainedinsentences2–5.Andinsentence6, ConsequentlyintroducestheprecisenatureofTom’sdilemma.Becauseoftheselinkingelements,the sixsentencescannotbearrangedinanyotherwaywithoutdestroyingtheparagraph’scoherence. PracticeinDevelopingParagraphs Directions:Thesentencesineachofthefollowinggroupsmakeupacoherentparagraph.Theyare notinorder,however.Rearrangesentenceslogically.Onseparatepiecesofpaper,writethenumber thatrepresentsthepositionofeachsentenceintheparagraph. 1.____a.Aparticularworker,forexample,maylacktheskilltodoacertainjob. ____b.Anotherimportantvariableisinclementweather,whichcansetaprojectbackfordayson end. ____c.Inspiteofthebestlaidplansandpreparation,buildingprojectssometimesworkoutbadly. ____d.Themainreasonisthattheforemancan’talwayspredictwhattheworkerswilldo. ____e.Then,theprojectcan’tproceeduntilanotherworkerisfound. 2.____a.Theyalsotendtowardanunhealthylifestyle,accordingtoastudyof374college undergraduatesatCarletonUniversity. ____b.Hereissomebadnewsforstudentswhoputoffstudying. ____c.Inaddition,studentprocrastinatorsaremorelikelytoeatpoorly,smokemore,andsleep lessthanstudentswhokeepupwiththeirschoolwork. ____d.Theiroverallcollegeexperience,asaresult,isfarlesssatisfyingthantheexperienceof studentswhodotheirhomeworkpromptly. ____e.Procrastinatorsgetmorecoldandflusymptomsandhavemoredigestiveproblemsthan theirpunctualclassmates. 3.____a.CollegestudentsswipeIDstoopendoors,buyticketstoathleticevents,operateATMs,do theirlaundry,andevenindicatetheirpresenceinalecturehall. ____b.Italsoidentifiedstudentswhentheytookbooksfromthelibrary. ____c.MostcollegesissueIDcardstostudents. ____d.Butmagneticstripsandwirelesschipshaveconvertedthismodestpieceofplasticintoan essential,multiuseappendage. ____e.Atonetime,astudentIDwasjustalaminatedcardgoodforgainingaccesstocampus buildings. 4.____a.Inaddition,acollegeofficialcanoftentellfromanessaywhethertheapplicantiseligible foraparticularkindofscholarshiporothertypeoffinancialaid. ____b.Atsomecollegestheessaycountsheavilyinadmissionsdecisionsandisusedtoplace studentsintheproperacademicprograms. ____c.Collegeadmissionsofficialsreadapplicationessayswithgreatcare. ____d.Onereasonisthattheessayshelpcollegesseeeachapplicantmoreclearlyandpersonally. ____e.Forexample,anessaymayexplainwhyabrightstudentearnedmediocregradesinhigh school. 5.____a.Soonthereafter,somecollegesbegantoaskapplicantswhethertheyreceivedprofessional helpincompletingtheirapplicationessays. ____b.Theyalsofoundthatteachers,counselors,andotheradultsweregivingmorethancasual lessonsinessaywriting. ____c.Wonderingwhatcausedthechange,admissionsofficialssoondiscoveredthatmanyhigh schoolshadmadeinstructioninwritinganapplicationessayapartofthecurriculum. ____d.Inrecentyears,studentsfromcertainpartsofthecountrystartedsendinginpolished collegeapplicationessaysinlargenumbers. ____e.Forupto$250anhour,some“consultants”wereallbutcomposingessaysforanxious students. Foradditionalpracticeinarrangingsentences,turntoPartV. PracticeinIdentifyingParagraphUnityandCoherence Directions:Thefollowingparagraphsmaysufferfromeitherlackofunity,lackofcoherence,or both. Identify the problem in each, and write a comment that offers an effective remedy. Some paragraphsmaynotneedrevision. 1.[1]LordoftheFliesisaboutagroupofEnglishschoolboysstrandedonaremoteislandafteran airplanecrash.[2]Whentheyarrive,theydivideintogroups.[3]Therearegroupsatthishigh school,too.[4]Ontheisland,Piggyistheleaderofthegroupconsistingofthemostintelligent andrationalboys.[5]Heisathinker,buthegetskilledbyanothergroup,thesavages,ledbyJack. [6]AthirdgroupontheislandisledbyRalph,whowantslawandorderandasetofrules.[7]The differentgroupsinthenovelareamazinglysimilartogroupsinthisschool,knownasthenerds, thejocks,andthepreps. 2.[1]Underthepresentlaw,doingillegaldrugscanhaveseriousconsequencesforyoungpeople.[2] Theymayfindtheireducationinterruptedandthefutureputindoubtbyhavingapolicerecord.[3] Anarrestorconvictionforafelonycancomplicatetheirlivesandplans.[4]Apolicerecord causesembarrassmenttoaperson’sfamily.[5]Parentsliketobragabouttheirchildren’s accomplishments.[6]Canyouimagineamotherwhowouldbeproudofherdaughter ’sexperience inthecourtsandinprison? 3.[1]Todaythereisgeneralagreementthatweareexperiencingunprecedentedchange.[2] Establishedinstitutionsarecrumbling.[3]Themajorityofpeoplenolongerliveintraditional familiesthatconsistoftwonaturalparentsandtheirchildren.[4]Oldmoralitiesarebeing questioned.[5]TheUnitedStateshasanincreasinglydiversepopulation.[6]Atanearlyage,ghetto childrenmaylearnthethrillsofferedbydrugs,crime,andgangwarfare.[7]Childrenatallsocial andeconomiclevelslearntoexpectthatlying,cheating,andstealingarerampantinbusiness, politics,andalmosteveryotherendeavor.[8]Evenchurchesarenotexemptfromcorruption. 4.[1]Rivalpoliticalpartiesmakeelectionsmeaningfulbyallowingvoterstochooseamong candidateswithcontrastingviewsandinterests.[2]Mostpartiestrytounitedividedinterestswithin theirranksinordertoappealtothewidestnumberofvoters.[3]IntheUnitedStatesandGreat Britain,atwo-partysystemhaslongbeeneffectiveinunitingvariousinterests.[4]Indictatorships, criticismofthepartyinpowermayberegardedastreason.[5]Often,onlyasingle,controlling partyispermittedtoexist.[6]Electionsmeanlittleinsuchcountries,forthepeoplehavenoreal choiceamongthecandidates.[7]Nordotheyhavethefreedomtoopenlycriticizetheir government. 5.[1]Departmentstores,unlesstheyarelikegeneralstoresthatstillfunctioninsomesmalltowns, usuallyhireemployeesbythehundredsfordifferentjobs.[2]Alargenumberofworkersengage inbuying,pricing,andsellingmerchandise.[3]Asalesstaffpromotessalesbyadvertisingandby designingattractivedisplaysofgoodstobesold.[4]Inrecentyears,mail-orderbuyingonthe Internethasforcedmanydepartmentstorestogooutofbusiness.[5]Inaddition,thestore’s comptrollerhandlesfinancialaffairs,suchasbilling,credit,andpayroll.[6]Thepersonnel departmenthiresemployeesanddealswithemploymentproblems. 6.[1]Theporpoise,orbottlenosedolphin,isoneofthemostintelligentanimals.[2]Itcanimitatethe soundsofhumanspeechandcommunicatewithitsfellowporpoisesusingbarks,clicks,and whistles.[3]Scientistsratetheirintelligencebetweenthatofthechimpanzee,longheldasthemost intelligentnonhumananimal,andthedog.[4]Porpoisescanbetrainedtoleaphighintheair,jump throughhoops,catchaball,fetchastick,andeventoparticipateinunderwaterworkbyservingas messengersbetweendiversandsurfaceships. 7.[1]RobinsonCrusoeisamemorableadventurestoryaboutamanmaroonedonadesertislandand waswrittenbytheBritishauthorDanielDefoe.[2]DefoewasborninLondonin1660andstarted writingonlyafterhewentbankruptinabusinesscareer.[3]Hewroteaboutpolitics,religion, economics,andgeographyinadditiontowritingpoetryandnovels.[4]Today,heisbestknown forRobinsonCrusoe,whichisbutatinyfractionofhiswork. 8.[1]Aristotlemadevaluablecontributionstothestudyoflogic.[2]Plato,theteacherofAristotleand Socrates’starpupil,believedthatunderstandingthenatureofperfectformssuchasthecircleand thesquareleadstounderstandingofidealformsinallareasoflife.[3]Socratesfoughtthe Sophistsallhislifebecausehebelievedintruth,andtheSophistsdeniedtheexistenceoftruth.[4] Theysaidthateverythingwasrelative,includingknowledgeandmorality.[5]Theperiodof ancientphilosophyreacheditsclimaxinGreecein600–500B.C. 9.[1]TheAmericanpioneersmadesimplefarmimplementsandhouseholdtools.[2]Theymade pitchforks,forexample,byattachinglonghandlestodeerantlers.[3]Broomsweremadeby fasteningtogethertenortwentysmalltreebranches.[4]Theywhittledwoodenspoons,bowls, platters,andusedgourdsandthehornsofsheepandotheranimalsfordrinkingcups.[5]Theymade gratersbypunchingholesintoapieceofsheetiron.[6]Thentheywouldrubkernelsofcornacross thejaggedsurfacetomakecornmeal. 10.[1]Youcan’tfindPotter ’sFieldonamap.[2]Itisnotarealplace.[3]Rather,itisthenamegiven toanyplotoflandreservedfortheburialofunidentifiedanddestitutepeople.[4]Thenamewas firstusedintheNewTestamentoftheBible.[5]AfterJudasbetrayedChristforthirtypiecesof silver,thepriestsusedthemoneytobuy“thepotter ’sfieldtoburystrangersin.”[6]Today,in manyurbanareas,potter ’sfieldshavedisappeared.[7]Landistoovaluabletouseforburying unknownandunclaimedcorpses.[8]Forafractionofthecost,bodiesarecrematedandashes thrownintocommongraves. Transitions Consideryourreadersastouristsinaforeignlandandyouressayasajourneytheytakefromone placetoanother.Becauseyoucan’texpectstrangerstofindtheirownway,youmustleadthem.As their guide, you must tell them where they are going (the introduction) and remind them of the progressthey’remaking(thebodyoftheessay). Inlongessays,readersneedmoreremindersthaninshortones.Tokeepreaderswellinformed, youneedn’trepeatwhatyou’vealreadywrittenbutratherplantkeyideas,slightlyrephrased,as milestonesalongtheway.(Thesentenceyoujustreadcontainsjustsuchamarker.Thephrase“To keepreaderswellinformed”cuesyoutokeepinmindthetopicofthisparagraph—helpingreaders findtheirway.)Byregularlyalludingtothemainideaofparagraphs,you’llkeepreadersfocusedand holdtheirattentionfromstarttofinish. TIP Englishiscrowdedwithtransitionalwordsandphrases.Usethem! Youcanhelpreadersalong,too,bychoosingwordsthatsetuprelationshipsbetweenonethought andthenext.Thiscanbedonewithsuchwordsasthis,whichactuallytiesthesentenceyouarenow readingtothepreviousone.Thewordtoointhefirstsentenceofthisparagraphservesthesame function;itactsasalinkbetweenthisparagraphandtheonebefore.Fortunately,theEnglishlanguage isbrimmingwithtransitionalwordsandphrasesfortyingsentencesandideastogether. Whatfollowsisacollectionofcommontransitionalwordsandphrasesgroupedaccordingtotheir customaryuse.Withabitofthought,youcouldprobablyaddtothelist. WhenyouADDideas:moreover,inaddition,further,besides,also,andthen,thentoo,again, next,secondly,equallyimportant WhenyoumakeaCONTRAST :however,conversely,incontrast,ontheotherhand,onthe contrary,but,nevertheless,andyet,still,evenso WhenyouCOMPAREordrawaPARALLEL:similarly,likewise,incomparison,inlikemanner,at thesametime,inthesamevein WhenyouciteanEXAMPLE:forexample,forinstance,aswhen,asillustratedby WhenyoushowRESULTS :asaresult,inconsequence,consequently,accordingly,therefore,thus, hence WhenyouREINFORCEanidea:indeed,infact,asamatteroffact,tobesure,ofcourse,inany event,byallmeans WhenyouexpressSEQUENCEorthepassingofTIME:soonafter,then,previously,notlongafter, meanwhile,inthemeantime,later,simultaneously,atthesametime,immediately,next,at length,thereafter WhenyoushowPLACES :here,nearby,atthisspot,nearathand,inproximity,ontheopposite side,acrossfrom,adjacentto,underneath WhenyouCONCLUDE:finally,inshort,inotherwords,inaword,tosumup,inconclusion,inthe end,whenallissaidanddone Youdon’tneedaspecifictransitionalwordorphrasetobindeverysentencetoanother.Ideas themselvescancreatestronglinks.Noticeinthefollowingpairedsentencesthatunderlinedwordsin thesecondsentencesechoanideaexpressedinthefirst. [1]Asakindofuniversallanguage,musicunitespeoplefromageeighttoeighty.[2]Nomatter howoldtheyare,peoplecanlosethemselvesinmelodies,rhythms,tempos,andendlessvarieties ofsound. [1]AttheheartofRomeoandJulietisalong-standingfeudbetweentheCapuletsandthe Montagues.[2]Asenemies,thetwofamiliesalwaysfightinthestreetsofVerona. [1]Todrivenailsintoveryhardwoodwithoutbendingthem,firstdipthepointsintogreaseor soap.[2]Youcanaccomplishthesameendbymoisteningthepointsofthenailsinyourmouth orinacanofwater. OneofyourgoalsontheSATistoassurereadersasmoothtripthroughyouressay.Withoutyour help—thatis,withouttransitions—readersmayfindthemselveslurchingfromoneideatoanother. Beforelong,they’llgiveuporgetlostliketravelersonanunmarkedroad.Eventhoughnotevery sentenceneedsaspecifictransition,threeorfoursuccessivesentenceswithoutalinkofsomekind canleavereaderswonderingwhetherthetripthroughyouressayisworthtaking. PracticeinUsingTransitions Directions: Use as many transitions as you can while writing paragraphs on the following suggestedtopics. 1.Writeaparagraphonhowtodosomething—driveacarfromhometoschool,pullapractical joke,avoiddoinghomework,burnaCD,getonthegoodsideofateacher,giveyourcat/doga bath.UseasmanySEQUENCE/TIMEtransitionsaspossible,butdon’toverdoit. 2.Writeaparagraphdetailingacauseanditseffect:thecauseandeffectofgoodteaching,ofanew fad,ofstressinhighschoolstudents,oftakingrisks,oflying,ofaclosefriendship.Useasmany RESULTtransitionsasyoucan,butdon’tgooverboard. 3.Writeaparagraphthatcomparesandcontrastsoneofthefollowing:thewaypeoplerespondto pressure,groupsinyourschool,twoathletes,thenandnow,boredomandlaziness,twobooks,a friendwhoturnedintoanenemy,anenemywhobecameafriend.Useasmany COMPARISON/CONTRASTtransitionsasyoucan,butdon’tgetcarriedaway. 4.Writeaparagraphinwhichyouarguefororagainstanissue—electroniceavesdropping,school dresscodes,educationalvouchers,privilegesforseniorcitizens,censoringtheInternet,dieting, restrictionsonsmoking.UseasmanyADDITION transitionsasyoucan,butonlywheretheymake sense. UsingPlainandPreciseLanguage TheSATWritingTestisnotaplacetoshowoffyourvocabulary.Towriteclearly,useplainwords. Useanelegantwordonlywhenit’sthebestandonlywordthatexpresseswhatyouwanttosay.Why? Because an elegant word used merely to use an elegant word is bombastic…er…big-sounding and artificial. Besides, simple ideas dressed up in ornate words often obscure meaning. Or worse, they make writers sound phony if not foolish. For instance, under ordinary circumstances you’d never utterthewords,“Let’sgotoourdomiciles”attheendofadayatschool.Norwouldyoucallyour teachers pedagogues or your dog a canine. Yet, the following overblown sentence appeared in a student’sessay: AlthoughmyhistorypedagogueinsistedthatIlaborinmydomicileimmediatelyuponarrival,I wasobligedtoairmycaninebeforecommencing. Howmuchclearerandmoredirectitwouldhavebeentowrite: Ihadtowalkthedogbeforestartingmyhistoryhomework. Fortunately,Englishisloadedwithsimplewordsthatcanexpressthemostprofoundideas.Asign thatsaysSTOP!conveysitsmessagemoreclearlythanCEASEANDDESIST.Whenadentistpokes atyourteeth,ithurts,evenifdentistscallit“experiencingdiscomfort.”Simpledoesn’tnecessarily meanshort,however.It’struethatplainwordstendtobetheshortones,butnotalways.Thewordfid isshort,butit’snotplainunlessyouareasailor,inwhichcaseyou’dknowthatafidsupportsthe mastonyourboatorisaninstrumentusedtopryopenatightknotinyourlines.Ontheotherhand, spontaneouslyisfivesyllableslong.Yetitisaplainandsimplewordbecauseofitsfrequentuse. Simpleideasdressedupinornatewordsnotonlyobscuremeaningbutmakewriterssound pretentious: Fancy: Plain: Fancy: Plain: Fancy: Plain: ThemoreIrecalledherdegradationofme,themoreinexorableIbecame. ThemoreIthoughtofherinsults,themoredeterminedIgrew. Lesterhasaproclivitytowardprevarication. Lesterisaliar. Thecoterieofharriersgleanedthesalienceofsynergyincompetitiveracingengagements. Therunnerslearnedthatteamworkpaysoffinraces. ErnestHemingwaycalledawriter ’sgreatestgifta“built-in,shock-proofcrapdetector.” Hemingway’sowndetectorworkedwell.Heproducedabouttheleanest,plainestwritinginthe Englishlanguage—notthatyoushouldtrytoemulateHemingway.(That’salreadybeendoneby countlessimitators.)Butanefficientcrapdetectorofyourownwillencourageyoutochoosewords onlybecausetheyexpressexactlywhatyoumean. Euphemisms Ofcoursethereareoccasionswhentheplainestwordswon’tdo.Fortunately,ourlanguageprovidescountlesseuphemisms—words and phrases that express unsavory or objectionable ideas more delicately. In some contexts—a funeral service, for instance—the verbdiemaybetoocoarseorpainful.Initsplace,aeuphemismsuchaspassaway,passon,bedeceased,rest,expire,meetone’s makermaybemoresuitable.Thinkalsooftoilet,awordalmostneverpostedonapublicbathroomdoor.Instead,you’llfindsuch labels as W.C.,lounge,powder room, washroom, comfort station, and, probably the most euphemistic usage of all—ladies and men. Euphemismsunquestionablyhavetheirplaceandfunction.Inessaywriting,however,usethemonlywhenyouhaveavalidreason fordoingso. Don’tinterpretthisadmonitiontouseplainwordsasareasontousethelanguageofblogging, IMs,ortextinginyourSATessay.Everydaylanguagebrimswithcolorfulwordsandexpressionslike hulkout,copsomez’s,awesome,andtotalbabe,hasitsplace,butitsplaceisnotyourSATessay unlessyoudefinitelyneedthelatestlingotocreateaneffectthatyoucan’tproduceinanyotherway. Ifyouinsistonusingslang,that’sokay,butdon’tusequotationmarkstodrawattentiontothefactthat youcan’tthinkofstandardormoreoriginalwords.If,tomakeapoint,youoverloadyouressaywith slang,besuretodemonstrateyourmasteryofstandardEnglishinatleastpartofthepiece.Afterall, collegeswanttoknowthatyoucanwritegood,standardprose. FortheSAT,aplain,conversationalstylewillalwaysbeappropriate.Thelanguageshouldsound likeyou.Informalessays,customrequiresyoutoremoveyourselffromstagecenterandfocuson thesubjectmatter.ButSATessaysencouragemorecasualresponsesinwhichreferencestoyourself areperfectlyacceptable.It’snotessentialtousethefirst-personsingularpronoun,butusingIisoften preferabletousingthemoreimpersonalone,asin“WhenoneiswritinganSATessay,one sometimeswritesfunny,”oryou,asin“Sometimesyoufeellikeadope,”orbyavoidingpronouns altogether.Butanessaythatexpressesthewriter ’spersonalopinionwillsoundmostnaturalwhencast infirst-personsingular. Thepointis,don’tbephony!SATessayreadersareoldhandsatspottingpretenseinstudents’ writing.Letyourgenuinevoiceringout,althoughthewayyouspeakisnotnecessarilythewayyou shouldwrite.Spokenlanguageisoftenvague,clumsy,repetitive,confused,andwordy.Consider writingastheeverydayspeechofsomeonewhospeaksexceedinglywell—grammaticallycorrectand freeofpopexpressionsandclichés.Thinkofitasthekindofmaturespeechexpectedofyouin seriousconversation,say,withapanelofparentsconcernedaboutyourschool’scurriculum.Or maybeeventhewaythisparagraphsounds.Youcoulddoalotworse! PreciseLanguage Precise words are memorable, but hazy, hard-to-grasp words fade quickly away. Tell your garage mechanicvaguely,“Thiscarisbroken,”andhe’llaskformoreinformation.Sayprecisely“Mycar won’tstartinfreezingweather,”andhe’llraisetheenginehoodandgotowork.IfapatientintheE.R. says,“Ifeelpain,”asurgeonmightatleastliketoknowexactlywhereithurtsbeforepullingouther scalpels. In other words, precise language is more informative, more functional, and thus more desirable. Inthefirstdraftofanessay,JeffS.usedthefollowingtoillustratewhathappenedonadayhe’dlike toforget: Itwasanawfuldayoutside.Everythingwasgoingwrong.Ifeltterrible.Thingsweren’tgoing wellinschool.Igotabelow-pargradeonapaper,andIwassurethatIhadfailedmyscience quiz.Ialsohadlotsofthingstodoathomeandnotimetodothem.Mymotherwasinabad mood,too.Sheyelledatmeforallkindsofthings.ThenPennycalled,andwegotintoa disagreement.Ihadtroublewiththespeakersonmylaptop,andIcouldn’tpayforrepairs.Iwent tobedearly,hopingthattomorrowwouldbebetter. Reviewingthisparagraphafewdayslater,Jeffrealizedthewritingbeggedformoreprecise language.Yes,thedayhadbeendreadful,buthisaccountneededdetailstoproveit.Thenextdraft tookcareofthat: OnacoldandrainyNovemberday,mylifewasasmiserableastheweather.Ifeltchillsallday, andmythroatwassore.InschoolIgotaDonahistorypaperabouttheBubonicPlague,andI wassurethatIhadfailedthechemistryquiz.Thehomeworkwaspilingup:twolabreports,more than150pagestoreadinWutheringHeights,achapterinthehistorytext,andaboutahundred newvocabularywordsinSpanish.Ididn’thavetimeorenergytodoitall,especiallywhenmy motherstartedtopickatmeaboutmymessyroomandthethankyoulettersI’msupposedto writetomygrandparents.JustasshewasremindingmethatmySATregistrationwasoverdue, Pennycalledtosaythatshecouldn’tcomeforThanksgivingafterall,sowearguedaboutloyalty andtrustandkeepingpromises.WhenItriedtowatchHarryPotterandtheDeathlyHallowsPart 2again,thesoundwasdistorted.Humanvoicessoundedlikechatteringchipmunks.Onthephone therepairmansaidhewouldcharge$100justtolookatthedamnthing,butIdon’thavethatkind ofmoney.By9:00P.M.Iwasinbed,hopingthattomorrowwouldbebetter. In this version Jeff included many precise details that vividly illustrate the wretchedness of that miserableday.Noteveryparagraphofeveryessaycallsforsuchdetail.Butanessayconsistingsolely ofabstractionswillleavereadersatsea. Surely,vague,shadowywordsareeasiertothinkof.Buttheyoftencoverupalackofclearand rigorousthinking.Forexample,it’seasytopassjudgmentonabookbycallingit“good”or “interesting.”Butwhatreadersshouldbetoldispreciselywhyyouthinkso.Howsimpletocall someonean“oldman”withoutbotheringtoshowthereadera“stoopedwhite-hairedgentleman shufflingalongthesidewalk.”Astudentwhocallsherteacher“ugly”sendsadifferentimageof uglinesstoeachreader.Butiftheteacherisa“shifty-eyedtyrantwhospitswhenshetalks,”thensayit. Oriftheteacher ’spersonalityisugly,showherill-temper,arrogance,andcrueltyasshecursesher haplessstudents. Goodwritersunderstandthattheirwordsmustappealtoareader ’ssenses.Towritepreciselyisto writewithpictures,sounds,andactionsthatareasvividonpaperastheyareinreality.Exactwords leavedistinctmarks;abstractones,blurryimpressions.Asthefollowingpairsofsentencesillustrate, precisewritersturnhazynotionsintovividimages: Hazy: Precise: Hazy: Precise: Hazy: Precise: Skiingisafunsport.Themountainsarepretty,andittakesskill. Ontheskislope,Imarvelatthesnow-deckedpinesandbrilliantskyandthrilltothechallengeofweaving gracefullydownsteepmountains. Ratherviolently,Carolynexpressedherangerattheotherteam’splayer. Carolynsnarled,“Getoutofmyface”asshepunchedtheTigers’goalieinthenose. MyparentswerehappywhenIgotacceptedincollege. Theletterthrilledmyparents.Theirworriedlookssuddenlydisappeared,theystoppednaggingmeabout homework,andbecausethequestionhadbeenanswered,theyneveragainaskedwhatwouldbecomeofme. Clearly,thepreciselywordedsentencesarericherthanthehazyones.Buttheyarealsomuch longer.Infact,it’snotalwaysdesirableornecessarytodefineeveryabstractionwithprecisedetails. Eachtimeyoumentiondinner,forinstance,youdon’thavetorecitethemenu.Whenyouusean abstractwordinanessay,askyourselfwhatismoreimportant—togivereadersamoredetailed accountofyourideaortopushontoother,moreimportant,matters.Contextdetermineshowabstract youressayshouldbe.Justrememberthatnobodylikesreadingessaysthatfailtodealconcretelywith anything. PracticeinUsingPreciseWording Directions: The next ten sentences desperately need more precise wording. Please provide the verbalantidotetotheirvagueness. 1.Thebarnwasoldandrun-down. 2.Shedidnottakeitlightlywhentheaccusationwasleveledagainsther. 3.Winningtheoverwhelmingapprovalofthepeoplegavethecandidategreatsatisfaction. 4.Shetrieddiligentlytostudy,butonecouldseethatitmadenodifference. 5.Theatmosphereatthegraduationpartywasintense. 6.Onemustdomanythingstoearnaplaceontherosterofanathleticteam. 7.It’srewardingtovisitplaceswherecustomsaredifferentbecauseunusualcustomsarealways interesting. 8.Shemetwithlittlesuccessduringherhighschoolcareer. 9.Thefamilywasverypoor. 10.Inaperiloussituation,Rodshowedthathewasbrave. FreshLanguageandSurprises Dull language has three main qualities: (1) boring, (2) boring, and (3) boring. So, do your SAT readersafavorbygivingthemaverbalsurprise.Afterreadinghundredsofpredictableessaysonthe same topic, readers will do cartwheels for something fresh and new. (Ha! SAT readers doing cartwheels—that’skindofasurprise,isn’tit?)Ittakescourageandimaginationtousefreshlanguage, but here’s a guarantee: A verbal surprise may not turn SAT readers into acrobats, but it will unquestionablygiveyouressayaboost. Whatisaverbalsurprise?Nothingmorethananinterestingimageorchoiceofwords.That doesn’tmeanuseoddwordsliketwitorfop.Evenordinarywords,useddeftly,candazzlereaders. Moreoverthey’llsoundmorenatural.Forexample: Ordinary: Surprising: IwastenbeforeIsawmyfirstpigeon. IwastenbeforeImetmyfirstpigeon. Because we don’t normally “meet” pigeons, the unanticipated change from saw to met is mildly surprising. Ordinary: Surprising: Thesharkbittheswimmers. Thesharkdinedontheswimmers. Changingtheverbmakesacommonsentencesurprisingbecausedinedsuggestsgentilityandgood manners,qualitiesthatmostsharkslack. Ordinary: Surprising: Thegunshotfrightenedthepigeons,whichflewaway. Thegunshotfilledtheskywithfrightenedpigeons. Theordinarysentencestatesliterallythatthesoundofthegunshotscaredthepigeons.Intherevision, theshotbecomesavitalforcewiththepowertofillthesky.Boththepigeonsandthesentencehave sprungtolife. Wordscanalsosurprisereadersbysuggestingcertainsounds.Thewordbombard,forinstance,has aheavyexplosivesound.Yawnhasawide-opensoundthatcanbestretchedoutindefinitely.Slogging isslow,justliketheactionitnames,andchokesticksinyourthroat.Murmuringstreamsevokesthe soundof—whatelse? Readersfindunexpectedpleasure,too,fromtherepetitionofsounds—bothconsonantsandvowels, asinthedark,dankdaysmelledofdeath;themachinesuckedupsewagefromtheswamp;andthecold windmoanedovertheoceanwaves.Theappealofsuchrepetitionisevidencedbythecountless clichésthatcrowdoureverydayspeechand(regrettably)ourwriting,suchasfootlooseandfancy free,sinkorswim,andblastfromthepast.Inshort,anoccasionaltreatfortheearswillgofarto captivateyourreaders.Butdon’trepeatsoundstoooftenbecausetheymightcallattentionto themselvesandpullthereaderawayfromthemeaningofyourwords. SURPRISEWITHCOMPARISONS Englishisfilledwithwonderfulwordstodescribevirtuallyanything.Yet,occasionallyemotionsand experiencesseemalmostbeyondwords.Atsuchtimes,youcandependonfiguresofspeechsuchas metaphorsandsimilestomakemeaningclear.How,forinstance,doyoushowtheweirdlookthebus drivergaveyouthisafternoon,orwhatacitystreetsoundslikeatsixo’clockonasummermorning? Whataboutthefeelofcleansheets,thetasteofaCokethat’slostitsfizz,thesmellofanewcar,afear, afrustration? Auniquelyexpressedcomparisoncancatchelusivedetailsandfleetingsensations.Thatbusdriver, forinstancemayhavelookedatyou“asthoughyouweresomethingonthesoleofhisshoe.”The summermorningmayhavesounded“likeanorchestratuninguptoplay,”andthebedsheetsmayhave felt“likeadrinkofcoldspringwateronasultryAugustafternoon.” Inaddition,comparisonsareeconomical.Theyrequirefewerwordsthanyoumightotherwiseneed tostateanidea.Todescribeelderlymenfishingfromapier,forinstance,youmightmentiontheir linedfaces,thefoldsofpaperyskinattheirthroats,thepaleandcrackedlips,andthewhitestubbleon theirchins.Butifallthosedetailsweresuperfluous,youcouldsimplycomparethementowooden slatsonaweatheredfence.Instantlyyourreaderwillseetheresemblance:Graymenlineduponthe pierlikeboardsonaweather-beatenfence. Thelimitedvocabularyofyoungchildrenkeepsthemfromexpressingalltheywanttosay.By nature,therefore,theymakeupcomparisons:“Daddy,whenmyfootgoestosleepitfeelslikeginger ale.”“Mommy,thisicecreamtasteslikechocolatesunshine.”Aspeoplegrowolder,theyoftenlose thisknackofmakingcolorfulcomparisonsandhavetorelearnit.Butwhenyoustartconsciouslyto seekcomparisons,you’llfindthemsproutinglikeweedsinagarden—thatis,everywhere. Similes(Timwrestleslikeatiger)andmetaphors(Timisatiger)pointoutlikenessesbetween somethingfamiliar(tiger)andsomethingunfamiliar(howTimwrestles).Toconveymeaning,one sideofacomparisonmustalwaysbecommonandrecognizable.Therefore,comparingthecryofthe Arcticterntothesongofatreetoadwon’tenlightenareaderfamiliarwithneitherwaterbirdsnor treetoads.Becauseyoucanexpectreaderstoknowthesoundofafiddle,however,amorerevealing comparisonisThecryoftheArcticternsoundslikeafiddlersearchingforac-sharp. TIP Clichésbelongintheclichésgraveyard,notinyouressay. Makeyourcomparisonsfreshandoriginal.Don’trelyonoldstand-byssuchas“lifeislikeabox ofchocolates,”or“likeabatoutofhell,”or“deadasadoornail.”Ourlanguageislitteredwith countlesscomparisonsthatoncemayhavebeenvibrantandfreshbuthavewiltedfromoveruse.The factisthateveryfamiliarcombinationofwords,suchas“Icouldcareless”or“you’vegottobe kidding”or“whatabummer,”wasoncenew,cool,evenpoetic.Butrepetitionhasturnedtheminto clichés. Letclichésrestintheclichégraveyard.Don’tdragthemoutforyourSATessay.Thatisan admonitioneasiertosaythattofollowbecauseclichéscrowdourconversations,swampour airwaves,anddelugethemedia.Liketheairwebreathe(acliché),wehardlynoticethem.Inanessay, however,especiallyonethatissupposedtodemonstrateyouruniquecastofmind,youmustavoid clichésliketheplague.“Liketheplague,”infact,isoneyoushouldavoid,alongwithother secondhandphrasesandexpressionslikethebottomline;ontheground;howdoesthatsitwithyou; touchbasewith;therehasbeenasea-changein…;offthetopofmyhead;attheendoftheday;a pointwelltaken;twosidesofthesamecoin;gettingpsyched;double-edgedsword;gooffthedeep end;lifeontheedge;lifeinthefastlane;foropeners;thinkoutsidethebox;flippedout;afullplate; getalife;getreal;super;chiefhoncho;thebigcheese;soamazing;that’scool;thewholeenchilada; noway,José,andwouldyoubelieve,wouldyoubelieve?(Thislistofclichésisfarfromcomplete.No doubtyoucouldaddmanymore.) OntheSATyouwon’tbepenalizedforanessaylackinginventiveandscintillatingexpressions,but you’llpayapriceifyourwritingisoverrunwithclichés.Getintothehabit,then,ofpurgingalltrite phrasesfromyourwritingvocabulary.Halfthebattle,astheysay,isknowingaclichéwhenyoumeet one.Theotherhalf—expellingthem—isstilltobefoughtandwon. PracticeinWritingComparisons PARTA Directions: Untold numbers of comparisons are waiting to be born. Because you see the world differently from everyone else, you can invent memorable comparisons that no one—not Shakespeare,notMilton,notWhitman,noranyotherimmortal—everthoughtof.Writeanoriginal comparisonforeachofthequalitieslistedbelow.Avoidclichés. 1.ascomfortableas 2.astoughas 3.asgorgeousas 4.assillyas 5.asseriousas 6.asperfectas 7.aswildas 8.asunpredictableas 9.asimpetuousas 10.asreliableas PARTB Directions:Tryyourhandatwritinganextendedcomparison,inwhichyouexpanduponasingle metaphororsimile.Ifyoucan’tthinkofone,tryoneofthese: Inwhatwaysislifelikeariver?Acarousel?Ahero’sjourney? Howdoesschoolresembleazoo?Ashoppingmall?Anairport? Howismusiclikeaclearinginthewoods?Achapel?Apainting? (Addpaper,ifnecessary.) VaryingSentenceStructure Whenwritinganessay,it’seasytofallintoarutbyusingthesamesentencestructureoverandover andover.Butreaderspreferavarietyofsentences. Varietyforitsownsakeishardlypreferabletoassembly-linewriting—writinginwhichevery sentencefollowsthesamepattern.Butvarietythatclarifiesmeaningorgivesemphasistoselected ideasissomethingelse.Foronething,itaddslifetoyourprose. TIP Variedsentencescanbringadullessaytolife. Englishsentencesarestructuredinthreeways:simple,compound,andcomplex Simple:Terryfellasleepinmathclass. Thesentenceissimplebecauseitcontainsonegrammaticalsubject(Terry)andoneverb(fell).It alsostatesasinglemainidea. Compound:Thecompetitionisstiff,butitwon’tkeepMarkfromwinning. Thesentenceiscompoundbecauseitismadeupoftwosimplesentencesjoinedbythe coordinatingconjunctionbut.Othercoordinatingconjunctionsusedincompoundsentencesare and,yet,or,for,nor,andso,asin: Thecompetitionisstiff,andMarkisworriedaboutwinning. Markisworriedaboutwinning,forhehasabadcold. Noticethatthestructureofeachofthesecompoundsentencesgivesroughlyequalemphasisto itstwomainideas. Complex:Althoughhehasabadcold,Markwillwin. Thesentenceiscomplexbecauseitismadeupoftwoparts—asimplesentence(Markwillwin) andaclause(Althoughhehasabadcold)thatisnotacompletesentenceinitselfbutdependson thesimplesentenceforitsmeaning.Becausetheclausebeginswithasubordinatingconjunction (Although),itiscalledasubordinateclause.Subordinateclausescontainideasrelatedtothe completesentence(calledtheindependent,ormain,clause),buttheyareusuallylessimportant. Othercommonsubordinatingconjunctionsincludebecause,after,before,though,unless,until, whenever,andwhile. Noteverysimple,compound,andcomplexsentenceisstructuredinthewayjustdescribed.Infact, variationsaboundbecauseEnglishisaremarkablyflexiblelanguagethatcanbeshapedincountless ways,asyou’llseenext. Mostsimplesentencesstartwiththegrammaticalsubjectfollowedbytheverb,asin: Cats(subject)fall(verb)asleepinaboutthreeseconds. They(subject)sleep(verb)bestaftereatingandcleaningthemselves. I(subject)wish(verb)tobeacatinmynextlife. Astringofsentenceswiththissubject–verbpatternresemblestheproseinagrade-schoolprimer— astylethatjustwon’tdoonanSATessay.Tobesurethatyouwriteinamorematureandengaging way,analyzeoneofyourrecentessays.Ifseveralsentencesbeginwithgrammaticalsubjects,try shiftingthesubjectelsewhere.Tryleadingoffwithaprepositionalphrase,orwithanadverb, adjective,orsomeothergrammaticalunit. Thefollowingpairsofsentencesshowhowasubjectcanbeshiftedfromitscustomaryposition: Beforetheshift: Aftertheshift: Ms.Bennettisoneofthemostpopularteachersintheschool. Inthisschool,Ms.Bennettisoneofthemostpopularteachers. Afteraprepositionalphrasewasadded,thesubject(Ms.Bennett)hasbeenmovedfurtheralonginthe sentence. Before: After: ShetaughtthenovelTheGrapesofWrathtooureleventh-gradeEnglishclasswithenthusiasm. Enthusiastically,shetaughtthenovelTheGrapesofWrathtooureleventh-gradeEnglishclass. Obviously,therevisedsentencebeginswithanadverb. Before: After: Studentswerelessexcitedaboutthebookthanshewas. Yet,studentswerelessexcitedaboutthebookthanshewas. Well,herethesubject(students)isstatedafteranopeningconnective. Before: After: Ilovedthebook,althoughitturnedouttobeanintolerabledragformostofmyclassmates. Althoughthebookturnedouttobeanintolerabledragformostofmyclassmates,Ilovedit. Afterintroducingthesentencewithadependentclause,thewriternamesthesubject,I,andthenadds therestofthesentence. Before: After: Ms.Bennettpushedtheclasstofindsymbolicmeaninginvariouscharacterstomakethebookmore meaningful. Tomakethebookmoremeaningful,Ms.Bennettpushedtheclasstofindsymbolicmeaningin variouscharacters. Torevisethissentencethewriterbeginswithaverbal,inthiscase“tomake,”theinfinitiveformof theverb.(Verbalslookandfeelmuchlikeverbsbutserveadifferentfunction.Verbals,though,come fromverbs,hencetheirnameandtheirresemblance.) Before: After: Ireadthebookintwodays,hopingthatitwouldneverend. Hopingthatitwouldneverend,Ireadthebookintwodays. Aiming to diversify sentence openings, the writer starts this sentence with another kind of verbal, knownasaparticiple.The-ingendingoftenindicatesthatawordisaparticiple. Before: After: IwasawedbythetenacityoftheJoadfamilyandabsorbedbyeverysoul-stirringsyllableofthe story. AwedbythetenacityoftheJoadfamily,Iwasabsorbedbyeverysoul-stirringsyllableofthestory. Determinedtotrysomethingdifferent,thewriterbeginsthesentencewithanadjectivethathappensto soundlikeaverbbecauseofits-edending. Stillanothervariationtotrynowandthenisthesentenceconstructedfrommatchedideassetin juxtaposition.PresidentKennedyusedsuchasentencetomemorableeffectinhisinauguralspeech: “Asknotwhatyourcountrycandoforyou,askwhatyoucandoforyourcountry.” Thepowerofsuchsentencesliesinthebalanceofparallelclauses.Eachclausecouldstandalone,but togethertheyexpresstheideamorevigorously.Anotherfamousexample,fromShakespeare’sJulius Caesar: “NotthatIlovedCaesarless,butthatIlovedRomemore.” Emphasiscanalsocomefromareversalofcustomarywordorder.Outofcontextasentencein whichthepredicateprecedesthesubjectmayseemawkward.Butintherightspotaninvertedsentence canleaveanindeliblemark.“Dullthebookisnot”packsmorewallopthan“Thebookisnotdull”or “Thebookisexciting.”Intherightcontext,“Perilouswastheclimbtothetopofthecliff”sounds moreominousthan“Theclimbtothetopofthecliffwasperilous.”Invertedsentencesshouldbeused sparingly,however.Morethanonceinanessaydiminishesthevigorofeachoccurrenceandmay soundsilly. Noruleofthumbsaysthatacertainpercentageofsentencesinanessayoughttobedifferentfrom theusualsubject–verbstructure.Itreallydependsonthepurposeandstyleoftheessay.Butifyoufind yourselfrepeatingthesamesentencepattern,restructuresomeofyoursentences.SATreadersare boundtorewardyoufortheeffort. SentenceTypes Ourlanguageoffersarichmenuofsentencetypes.Declarativesentencespredominateinmostessay writing.(Justtorefreshyourmemory,adeclarativesentence,suchastheoneyouarenowreading, simplymakesastatement.)Butothertypesofsentencescancreateallsortsoffascinatingeffects.Take interrogative sentences, for example. (Do you remember that interrogative sentences ask questions?) An interrogative sentence appropriately placed in an essay consisting of declarative sentencescanchangethepaceandrhythmoftheprose,underscoreanidea,andpromotethereader ’s involvement. Don’tforgetaboutimperativesentences(Keepinmindthatimperativesentencesmakerequestsor givecommands)andexclamatorysentences(Whatstrongemotionanexclamatorysentencecan express!). Furthermore,youcanwritesentencesinterruptedatsomepointbyadash—althoughsomeeditors andteachersclaimthatit’snotpropertodosoinformalprose.Directandindirectquotationsare useful,andonoccasionyoucandrivehomeapointwithasingleemphaticword.Excellent! There’speril,however,inscramblingsentencetypesfornootherreasonthantoscramblesentence types,foryoumayendupwithamessonyourhands.Beguidedbywhatexpressesyourideasmost clearlyandseemsvariedenoughtointerestyourreaders. RepetitionofIdeas TIP “Repetitioncutsbothways:sometimesgood,sometimesnot.” “Youcansaythatagain!” “Repetitioncutsbothways:some…” “Okay,okay,you’vemadeyourpoint.” Repetitioncanbeannoying,butadroitlyused,itaddsclouttoanidea.Whenyoursweetheartsays,“I love you. I love you very much,” the repetition intensifies the sentiment. If a coach admonishes his team,“Okay,guys,knockitoff.Isaidknockitoff,”youknowhereallymeansit. Thefollowingparagraphmaysuggestthatthewriterhasaone-trackmind: InthefallBethanywillbegoingtocollege.Sheispsychedtogetoutofhighschool.Sheis psychedtobreakawayfromhersmalltownandliveinabigcity.Sheispsychedformeeting newpeoplefromalloverthecountryandtheworld,andsheispsychedtogetstartedona programofstudiesthatsheexpectswillprepareherforlawschool.Butfirst,sheispsychedto taketheSAT. Everysentencebutthefirstusesthesamesubject–verbcombination.Yet,theoveralleffectisanything butmonotonous.What’smemorableisnotrepetition,butrelentlessness.Repeatingtheverbpsyched fivetimesemphasizesBethany’sframeofmind.Thepointcouldnothavebeenmadeasemphatically usingadifferentverbineachsentence. Ortakethispassagewrittenbyanincorrigiblebagelfreak. Mytasteforbagelsknowsnobounds.Istopatthebagelshoponmywaytoschooleach morningandgrabanonionbagelandcoffee.Lunchconsistsofanolivebagelandacoupleof veggiebagelssmearedwithcreamcheese.AtsnacktimeI’mnotpicky.Anystylebagelwilldo, butIhatetohavedinnerwithoutabutteredpoppy-seedbagel.BeforebedIwashdownaplain toastedbagelwithaglassofmilk,andincaseIhaveinsomnia,Istashtwoorthreegarlicbagels onmynightstandforatastymiddle-ofthe-nightpick-me-up. Thewritervirtuallybeatsyouovertheheadwithbagels.Buttherepetitionwon’tallowyouto forgetthepoint—thatthewriterhaseyesnotforpizza,notforburritos,notforonionrings,butonly forbagels. Awordofcaution:Restatementsofawordorphrasecansometimesbedistracting.Therefore,stay alertforaccidentalrepetition: Inacorneroftheroomstoodaclock.Theclocksaidfouro’clock. Columbusmadethreeoceanvoyages.ThevoyagestookhimacrosstheAtlanticOcean. Combiningsuchsentenceswillkeepyoufromendingonesentenceandstartingthenextonewiththe samewords: Theclockinthecorneroftheroomsaidfour. ColumbusmadethreevoyagesacrosstheAtlantic. Sentencescanalsobemarredbywordsorsoundsthatdrawattentiontothemselves: Maybesomepeopledon’thaveasmuchfreedomasothers;butthefreedomtheydohaveis giventothemforfree.Therefore,freedomisproofenoughthatthebestthingsinlifearefree. ThemembersoftheassemblyrememberedthatNovemberwasjustaroundthecorner. Thesewritersfailedtolistentothesoundoftheirwords.Hadtheyreadtheirsentencesaloud,they mayhavenoticedthatvoiceswerestuckinagroove.Infact,readingyourwordsaloudallowsyouto stepbackandexaminewordsounds.(Holdit!Thosetwowords—aloudandallows—soundjarring andshouldnotbepermittedtostandsidebyside.)Hearingyourwrittenwordsspoken,you’remore areapttonoticeunwantedrepetition.Wheneverpossible,leteachofyourpracticeessayscoolfora while.Thenenlistafriendtoreaditaloud.Hearingitinanother ’svoicelendsobjectivitytothe processofself-evaluation. ShortandLongSentences Another technique for fending off monotony in an essay is to vary the length of sentences. Long sentences(likethisone)demandgreatereffortfromreadersbecause,whilesteppingfromonepartof the sentence to the next, they must keep track of more words, modifiers, phrases (not to speak of parenthetical asides), and clauses, without losing the writer ’s main thought, which may be buried amidanynumberofsecondary,orlessimportant,thoughts,whileshortsentencesareusuallyeasier to grasp. A brief sentence can make a point sharply because all its words concentrate on a single point.Take,forexample,thelastsentenceinthispassage: Forthreedays,myparentsandIsatinourSUVanddrovefromcollegetocollegetocollege insearchoftheperfectplaceformetospendthenextfouryears.Forseventy-twohourswelived asoneperson,sharingthoughtsanddreams,statingopinionsabouteachcampuswevisited, takingguidedtours,interviewingstudentsandadmissionsofficials,askingdirectionsahundred times,eatingtogetherintownaftertown,andevensleepinginthesamemotelrooms.But mostly,wefought. Aterseclosingsentencefollowingawindy,forty-six-wordsentenceproducesamildjolt.Indeed, itspurposeistostartlethereader.Thetechniqueiseasilymasteredbutshouldbeusedsparingly. Overusedilutesitsimpact. Aseriesofshortsentencescanbeastiresomeasasuccessionoflongones.Abalanceworksbest.If youhavestrungtogetherfourorfivesentencesofequallength,trytoreformatthem.Here,to illustrate,isanoverweightsentencethatneedsacompletemakeover: Inthe1870s,thearchaeologistHeinrichSchliemannduginthecorrectspotanddiscoverednot onlyoneancientcityofTroy,butnineofthem,onelyingontopoftheother,sinceeveryfew centuriesanewcityhadbeenbuiltupontheruinsoftheold,causingSchliemanntodigrightpast thelayercontainingtheruinsofthefamouscityoftheTrojanHorsewithoutrealizinghehad doneso,amistakenotcorrecteduntilalmostfiftyyearslaterbyCarlBlegenoftheUniversityof Cincinnati,bywhichtime,unfortunately,itwastoolateforSchliemannbecausehehadbeendead forfortyyears. Thesentenceisperfectlygrammatical,butitcarriesabig108-wordload.Cutitdowntosize.Breakit into pieces, rearrange it, add verbs, drop an idea or two, change the emphasis, and delete words. Whenyou’redone,therestyledsentencemightsoundsomethinglikethis: Inthe1870s,thearchaeologistHeinrichSchliemannduginthecorrectspotanddiscoverednot onlyoneancientcityofTroy,butnineofthem,onelyingontopoftheother.Hefiguredoutthat everyfewcenturiesanewcityhadbeenbuiltupontheruinsoftheold.Withoutrealizingit,he haddugrightpastthelayerhewasseeking,thelayercontainingtheruinsofthefamouscityof theTrojanHorse.HismistakewascorrectedfiftyyearslaterbyCarlBlegenoftheUniversityof Cincinnati.Bythen,however,itwastoolateforSchliemann.Hehadbeendeadforfortyyears. Likewise,astringoffourorfiveequallylong(orshort)sentencescanbecombinedtocreatea morebalancedandvariedparagraph.Here,forinstance,isaparagraph,alsoaboutanancientcity, madeupofshort,choppysentences: Pompeiiwasanancientcity.ItbelongedtotheRomanEmpire.ItwasnearthebaseofMount Vesuvius.In79A.D.,thevolcanoonVesuviuserupted.Tonsofhot,wetashfellonPompeii.In lessthanaday,thecitywasburied.Itjustvanished.Morethanseventeencenturieslater,anItalian peasantfoundPompeii.Hisdiscoverywasaccidental.Hewasdigginginafield.Hisshovel struckthetopofawall.Thatwastwohundredyearsago.Pompeiiisstillbeingexcavatedtwo hundredyearslater.Abouttwo-thirdsofthecityhasbeenunearthed.Itmusthavebeenabeautiful city. Withrepetitioneliminatedandsomeideassubordinatedtoothers,hereiswhatyouget: TheancientRomancityofPompeiilaynearthebaseofMt.Vesuvius.In79A.D.,Vesuvius erupted,buryingthecitywithtonsofhot,wetash.Inlessthanaday,thecityvanished.Morethan seventeencenturieslater,anItalianpeasantdigginginafieldwithashovelaccidentallystruck thetopofawall.HehadfoundPompeii.Today,twohundredyearslater,thecityisstillbeing unearthed.TheexcavationrevealsthatPompeiimusthavebeenabeautifulcity. Formoredetailsandpracticeinsentencecombining,turntoPartV. VaryingSentences—ASummary Useavarietyofsentencetypes:simple,compound,andcomplex. Createvarietybystartingsentenceswitha: Prepositionalphrase:Fromthestart,Inthefirstplace,Attheoutset Adverbsandadverbialphrases:Originally,Atfirst,Initially Dependentclauses:Whenyoustartwiththis,Becausetheopeningis Conjunctions:And,But,Notonly,Either,So,Yet Adjectivesandadjectivephrases:Freshfrom,Introducedwith,Headedby Verbalinfinitives:Tolaunch,Totakethefirststep,Togetgoing Participles:Leadingoff,Startingup,Commencingwith Inversions:Uniqueisthewriterwhoembarks… Balancelongandshortsentences. Combineseriesofveryshortsentences. Dismemberverylongsentences. PracticeinVaryingSentences Directions:Thefollowingpassagesneedgreaterbalance.Dividesomeofthelongsentencesand combinesomeoftheshortones.Trytopreservetheoriginalmeaningofeachpassage. 1.Mr.Finnistheteacher.He’sagoodteacher.Herunstheclasslikeadictatorship,however.Hehas nousefor“democracy.”Heknowsnothingaboutfreedom.Heannouncedhisrulesonthefirstday. Hedoesn’tallowtalking.Heforbidsgumchewing.Hewon’tpermitthewearingofhats.Atthe bell,helockstheclassroomdoor.After-schooldetentionisaconsequenceoflatenesstoclass.His homeworkiscompulsory.Agirloncecamewithouthomework.Mr.Finnloweredtheboom.The girlturnedcolorsandalmostwept.Noonedarestocomeunpreparedtoclass. 2.Ihavetakennumerousscienceclasses.Inscienceclasseswemostlytalkedaboutexperiments.We didn’tdoexperiments.Theequipmentwastoocostly.Wehadtomakedowithobsoleteequipment. Scientifictheoriesweretaught.Thetheorieswerenotpracticedinlabs.Theywerenot demonstrated.Thesciencedepartmentneeds$1million.Withamilliondollarsitcouldgive studentsabettereducationinscience. 3.Bydumpinggarbage,sewage,andotherhazardouswasteproductsintothesea,manynationsare pollutingtheworld’soceans,andindoingsoaremakingbeachesandswimmingdangerous, poisoningfishwithtoxicmaterialsthatendupinfish,lobsters,clams,andothersealifethatwe humanseat,causingthetoxinstoenterourbodies. 4.Theearthhasexperiencedasharpincreaseinnaturaldisasters,fromabout100peryearinthe 1960stofivetimesthatnumberintheearlypartofthetwenty-firstcentury,thereasonbeingnot thatearthquakes,droughts,hugestorms,andfloodsarehappeningmorefrequentlyandwith greaterintensitybutthatthepopulationoftheworldhasincreasedandpeopleingreaternumbers nowoccupyareasthatarepronetonaturaldisasters,suchasfloodplains,coastallands,andcities builtonsubterraneanfaultlines.Theplanethasnotchanged.Humanshave. 5.TheAmericanDreamisapopularconceptinAmericanlife.Ithasdifferentmeaningsfordifferent people.Itcommonlymeansfindingagoodjob.Italsomeansgettingmarried.Dreamsalsoconsist ofhavingacoupleofkidsandowningahome.Thehomehasawhitepicketfenceandatwo-car garage.Somepeoplethinkthatsuchadreamisshallow.Theysaythatthedreamshouldalso includeagoodeducation,friends,afeelingofwell-being,goodhealth,andaboveall,the blessingsofliberty.Bythattheymeanfreedomofspeechandfreedomofreligion.Thedream mustalsohavethefreedomtochoosetobepartofanuntraditionalfamilymadeupofsame-sex partnersoranyothercombinationofadultsandchildren. EndingYourEssay TIP Avoidsummaryendings. Becauseitcomeslast,thefinalsentencesofyouressayshouldbewrittenwithcare.Don’tresortto thatoldstand-by,asummaryending.Whenanessayisshorttobeginwith,it’sinsultingtoreviewfor readers what is evident on the page in front of them. Readers are intelligent people. Trust them to rememberwhatyouressaysays. Aneffectiveconclusionshouldfitthestyleandmoodoftheessayandspringnaturallyfromits contents.Agoodessaycaneasilybespoiledbyagratingconclusion.Aseriousessay,forexample, shouldn’tendwithajoke.Alsostayawayfromendingsthataretoocommonorcutesy,suchas:that’s it;solongfornow;happyreading;well,Ican’tthinkofanythingelse;sorry,I’verunoutoftime; good-byeandGodblessyou.Suchtriteendingssayineffectthatyouandyourimaginationhaverun outofgas. Ashortendingispreferabletononeatall.Acarefullywrittenendingleavesreaderssatisfiedthat theyhavearrivedsomewhereandmayswaythemtojudgeyouressaymorefavorablythanotherwise. Therearenoguarantees,ofcourse,butreadersareboundtobetouchedbyamementoofyour thinking,yoursenseofhumor,oryourvision.Evenanordinarythought,uniquelyexpressed,will leaveanagreeableafterglow. Herearesomecommontechniquesforwritingconclusions: 1.Havealittlefun;trytoputasmileonyourreader ’sface. Topic:KingoftheWorld,abiographyofMuhammadAli Purposeoftheessay:TocriticizeDavidRemnick’sbiographyofAli.Thewriterendswithanapt metaphorthatreiteratestheessay’smainidea. Conclusion:Withthisbook,RemnickhasdealtAli’sadmirersacruelblowbelowthebelt. Topic:Growingold Purpose of the essay: To show that old people can still act young. The essay concludes with an anecdoteaboutanelderlygray-hairedmanofaboutseventyonacrowdedcitybus. Conclusion:Hecarriedbundlesofpackagesandalmostfelldownasthebuslurchedtoastop.At onepointayoung,gum-chewingwomanstoodupandpointedtotheunoccupiedseat.“Here,Pops, takethis.” Helookedatherinamazement.“Coolit,girlie,”hesaid,“Istillrunmarathons,”andhestoodall thewaytohisstop. 2.Endwithanaptquotationdrawnfromtheessayitself,fromtheSATprompt,orfromanother source. Topic:Survivinghighschool Purposeoftheessay:Todescribeanincidentinwhichthewriterfoundherselfinneedofasafe haven. Conclusion:AtthatpointIknewbyinstinct,“Thisistheplace.” Topic:Electronicgizmos Purposeoftheessay:Toshowthat,becausemanyconsumersareuninformed,theywastelotsof moneywhenpurchasingthelatestdigitaldevices. Conclusion:Toparaphraseanoldsaying,“Whatyoudon’tknowcanhurtyou.” 3.Finishbyclearlyrestatingyouressay’smainpointbutusingnewwords.Ifappropriate,addashort tagline,abriefsentencethatcreatesadramaticeffect. Topic:Discrimination Purposeoftheessay:Tocriticizethemalechauvinismthatexistsintheschooladministration. Conclusion: As long as positions of authority are given to sexists, women must be prepared to fightagainstgenderabuseinthisinstitution. Topic:Moderncommunication Purpose of the essay: To explain the value and importance of text messaging to teenagers. The writerconcludeswithapopulartextingsymbol. Conclusion:AdaywithouttextingisadayIshouldhavestayedinbed:( 4.Bringyourreadersuptodateorprojectthemintothefuture.Saysomethingaboutthemonthsor yearsahead. Topic:Vandalisminschool Purpose of the essay: To condemn the daily carnage of smashed windows, graffiti, and broken ceilingtiles.Theessayendswithafewquestionsaboutthefuture. Conclusion:Howlongcanthisgoon?Howcanweturnawaymeekly?Howmuchlongercanwe letthevandalsmakeustheirvictims? Topic:Helpingothers Purposeoftheessay:Toexplainwhyitisimperativetosavetheworldfromglobalwarming. Conclusion:Whenthehistoryofthetwenty-firstcenturyiswritten,letushopethatglobalwarming willhavegonethewayofthedinosaurs. So,whathappensifyoucan’tthinkofasatisfactoryendingortimeiscalledbeforeyoufinish?For onething,don’tdespair.Althoughaneffectiveconclusionaddslustertoanessay,don’tfeelobliged toprovideoneatallcosts.SATreaderswillknowhowwellyouwritelongbeforereachingyour essay’slastsentence.Beconfidentthatagoodbutincompletepieceofwritingwillbegraded accordingtowhatyou’vedonewell,notwhatyouhaven’tdoneatall. PracticeinWritingConclusions Directions:Tryyourhandatwritinganappealingendingforeachoftheessaysdescribedhere. 1.Topic:Languagetaboos Oursocietyprohibitsorfrownsontheuseofcertaincategoriesofwords.Inrecentyears, however,changeshavemademanylanguagetaboosobsolete.Aftercitingseveralexamples,the writerwondersaboutlanguageusageinthefuture. 2.Topic:Thevalueofschoolsports Thewriter,incomparingathleticsinschooltolife,makesthepointthatinbothendeavorsyou needtodevelopawinningstrategy. 3.Topic:Highschoolvs.juniorhigh Thepointoftheessayisthatwhilehighschoolisnotperfect,itisfarbetterthanjuniorhigh, wherestudentsaretreatedlikeinmates,notlikehumanbeings. TIP ThefollowingpagesaremeanttobeaguidetoeditingyourSATessay.But keep in mind that the material will also help you answer the multiple-choice questions later in the exam, especially the Identifying Sentence Errors questions. EDITINGANDPROOFREADING:THEFINALTOUCHES Onceyou’veendedyouressay,spendwhatevertimeislefteditingandproofreading.Youcan’tdoa complete makeover, but you can do a great deal to improve communication between you and your readers. EditingforClarity Checkyouressayforclaritybyaskingyourselfwhetherareadercouldmisconstrueanythingyou’ve written.PennyT.wroteheressayaboutrunawayteenagers—thosedesperatekidswholeavehomein searchofadifferentlife.Oneofhersentencesread“Thelastthingparentsshoulddoistalktotheir kids.”Comingtothatsentence,areadermightwellwonderwhetherPennymeansthatparentsshould talktotheirkidsasalastresort,or,thatinalistofwhatparentsoughttodo,thefinalstepistalkingto theirkids. LaterintheessayPennywrote,“EllentoldherfriendDebbiethatshehadmadeaseriousmistake byrunningawayfromhome.”Pennycertainlyunderstoodwhatsheintendedtosay,butareadercan’t tellwhetherEllentookadimviewofDebbie’sactionsorwhetherEllenherselfhadsecondthoughts aboutherownflight.Granted,thesesentenceshavebeenquotedoutofcontext,butthepointremains: Whatmayseemperfectlycleartoawritermaysendapuzzlingmessagetothereader. That’swhyyoushouldworkhardtoarrangeyourwordsintheclearestorder.Watchfor grammaticalperilsthatinterferewithmeaning,especially(1)misplacedmodifiers,(2)dangling participles,and(3)lackofparallelism—alldiscussedinthepagesthatfollow. MISPLACEDMODIFIERS Modifiers are words, phrases, and clauses that tell something about or limit the meaning of a particularwordorstatement.Forexample: Thebedroomhadabrokenwindow. The adjective broken is a modifier because it tells something about the condition of the window. In otherwords,broken“modifies”window. Jessicaboughtamousethatwasguaranteedtoworkwithhercomputer. The clause that was guaranteed to work with her computer is a modifier because it tells something aboutthemouse.Itmodifiesthenounmouse. Modifiersmustbeplacedsothattheymodifythecorrectwords: MikeonlylovesSharon. Here only modifies the verb loves. The modifier is appropriate if Mike feels nothing but love for Sharon—no admiration, no awe, no respect, nor any other emotion. If, however, Mike has but one love,andsheisSharon,thenonlyismisplaced.Properlyplaced,onlyshouldcomeeitherbeforeor afterSharon: MikelovesonlySharon.orMikelovesSharononly. Anotherexample: NaomidecidedwhenshehadfinishedtheessaytowatchTV. In this sentence, when she had finished the essay is the modifier. But it is hard to tell whether it modifiesdecidedorwatch.Ifitmodifiesdecided,Naomifinishedheressayandthenmadeadecision to watch TV. If it modifies watch, Naomi worked on her essay and decided at some point that she wouldwatchTVwhenshehadcompletedthework. Whenshehadfinishedtheessay,NaomidecidedtowatchTV. WhilewritinganessayNaomidecidedtowatchTVwhenshehadfinished. Nowthemeaningofbothsentencesisunambiguous. Obviously,misplacedmodifierscancloudawriter ’sintentions.Toavoidtheproblem,place modifiersascloseaspossibletothewordstheymodify: Misplaced: Philipdonatedhisoldcartoacharitythatnolongerranwell. Themodifierthatnolongerranwellistoofarfromcar,theworditmodifies. Clear: Misplaced: Philipdonatedtoacharityhisoldcarthatnolongerranwell. Thebowlingalleylendsoutshoestoitscustomersofallsizes. Themodifierofallsizesshouldbeclosertoshoes,theworditmodifies. Clear: Thebowlingalleylendsoutshoesofallsizestoitscustomers. DANGLINGMODIFIERS In a sentence words must fit together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes, a misplaced word looksasthoughitfits,butitfailstosaywhatthewriterintended. (1)WhilerunningtoEnglishclass,thebellrang. (2)Workingfulltime,thesummerpassedquickly. (3)Whenonlyeightyearsold,myfatherwarnedmeaboutsmoking. Theludicrousmeaningofthesesentencesmaynotstrikeyouimmediately,butlookagain.Doyou seethatthesesentencesdescribeasurrealworldinwhichbellsruntoclass,summersholdfull-time jobs,andyouthfulfathersdispenseadvice?Theproblemisthatthesesentencestrytomatetwogroups ofwordsthatcan’tgotogether.Thepartsaremismatched.Afterthecommainsentence1,youexpect tofindoutwhoisrunning,butyouarenottold.Likewise,afterthecommasinsentences2and3,you arenottoldwhowasworkingandwhoisonlyeightyearsold.Inshort,you’releftdangling.Hence, thelabeldanglingmodifierhasbeengiventothistypeofconstruction.Tocorrecttheerror,addthe nounorpronountobemodified,asin: WhiletheboyswererunningtoEnglishclass,thebellrang. BecauseCharlotteworkedfull-time,hersummerflewby. WhenIwaseight,myfatherwarnedmeaboutsmoking. Re-writingthewholesentenceisoftenthebestcureforadanglingmodifier,asin: Dangling: Clear: Stillsoundasleepatnoon,mymotherthoughtImightbesick. MymotherthoughtImightbesickbecauseIwasstillsoundasleepatnoon. Dangling: Clear: Whiletalkingonthephone,thestewburnedinthepot. WhileItalkedonthephone,thestewburnedinthepot. PracticeinIdentifyingMisplacedandDanglingModifiers Directions: Revise the following sentences that contain a misplaced or dangling modifier. Some sentences may be corrected by shifting the placement of one or more words. Others need more substantialrevision. 1.Aftercompletingthechemistryhomework,thatpizzatastedgreat. 2.Soundasleepinthehammock,Denisediscoveredherboyfriend. 3.Usedallnighttoilluminatethesteps,Ineedednewbatteriesfortheflashlight. 4.Drivingdownthemountainroad,arockhitmywindshieldandsmashedit. 5.Stoppingtorestafteralonghike,agrizzlybearstoodinfrontofme. 6.Afteraquickbreakfast,theschoolbuspickedmeup. 7.Areportwassubmittedaboutthebankrobberybythepolice. 8.Attheageoften,Sasha’sfamilyemigratedfromRussia. 9.Abonewasgiventothedogwedidn’twant. 10.Leftaloneinthehouse,everysoundterrifiedthechild. PARALLELISM Alackofparallelisminphrasesandclausesisnotjustbadformbutcanbeasourceofconfusion. Soundparallelstructure,incontrast,keepsequivalentideasinthesamegrammaticalform.Take,for example, a sentence that lists the characteristics of a restaurant in which to have a family birthday party: Wearelookingforaplacethatisprivate,plentyofspace,hasafriendlystaff,andthatpeoplelike tolookat. TIP Eachelementinaseriesmusthavethesamegrammaticalstructure. Thesentencemakessomesense,ofcourse,butit’sawkwardbecausethefourqualitiesofadesirable restaurantarenotexpressedinparallelform.Instead,theyareamixofanadjective,aphrase,andtwo clauses.Onewaytofixtheproblemistouseonlyadjectives,asin: Wearelookingforaplacethatisprivate,spacious,friendly,andattractive. Oruseaseriesofnounseachprecededbyanadjective: Wearelookingforaplacewithtotalprivacy,amplespace,afriendlystaff,andattractive surroundings. Whenyouarrangethepiecesofasentenceinparallelform,thewritingbecomesclearerand stronger.Italsoputsyouinthecompanyofsomeoftheworld’sgreateststylists.AbrahamLincoln, forexample,usedparallelismatGettysburg:“Wecannotdedicate,wecannotconsecrate,wecannot hallowthisground.”Andlater,“thatgovernmentofthepeople,bythepeople,andforthepeopleshall notperishfromtheearth.” JohnF.Kennedyusedparallelisminhisinauguralspeech:“Leteverynationknow,whetherit wishesusgoodorill,thatweshallpayanyprice,bearanyburden,meetanyhardship,supportany friend,opposeanyfoetoassurethesurvivalandthesuccessofliberty.” LikeLincolnandKennedy,goodwriterseverywhereknowandapplythefollowingprinciplesof parallelconstruction. 1.Parallelideasinaseriesshouldbeexpressedinthesamegrammaticalform.Eachideashouldbe equallyimportanttothemeaningandstructureofthesentence.Useconjunctionssuchasand,but, for,or,yet,so,andnortojoinparallelideas. Faulty: Parallel: Hazel’sparentsobjectedthatsheplayedloudmusicandtothelatehoursshekept. Hazel’sparentsobjectedtotheloudmusicsheplayedandtothelatehoursshekept. The parallel ideas consist of prepositional phrases followed by a pronoun (she) and verbs in the pasttense(played,kept). 2.Whenusedtocompareorcontrast,parallelideasshouldbegrammaticalequivalents.Ina comparison,forexample,anideaexpressedinaphrasemustbepairedwithanotherideaalso expressedinaphrase.Anideastatedinaclausemustbepairedwithanotherideastatedinaclause, andsoforth. Faulty: Theyareworriedmoreaboutpublicopinionthanforwhattheeffectoftheproposalmaybe. Theprepositionalphraseaboutpublicopinionmaynotbepairedwiththeclausewhattheeffectof theproposalmaybe. Parallel: Theyareworriedmoreaboutpublicopinionthanabouttheeffectoftheproposal. 3.Parallelideascanalsobeexpressedwithpairsofwordssuchaseither/or,neither/nor,whether/or, both/and,andnotonly/butalso.Butkeepbothwordsclosetotheparallelideas. Poor: Ieitherplantoinvitemyauntormyuncletogoshoppingwithme. The signal word either is too far removed from the parallel phrases, my aunt or my uncle. Its placementmisleadsthereaderintothinkingthattheverbplanisoneoftheparallelideas. Proper: Iplantoinviteeithermyauntormyuncletogoshoppingwithme. 4.Whenarticles,prepositions,andconjunctionsappearbeforethefirstinaseriesofparallelitems, theymayhavetoberepeatedbeforetheothersintheseries. Unclear: Ourmechanicdidabetterjobonmycarthanhis. Did two mechanics work on the same car or did one mechanic work on two different cars? To clearuptheambiguity,repeattheprepositionon,asin: Clear: Ourmechanicdidabetterjobonmycarthanonhis. Sometimesrepeatingbothaprepositionandanarticleisnecessary: Unclear: Beforesigningthecontract,Tiffanyspokewiththepresidentandtreasurerofthecompany. DidTiffanyspeakwithonepersonorwithtwo?Repeatingwiththehelpstoclarifythemeaning: Clear: Beforesigningthecontract,Tiffanyspokewiththepresidentandwiththetreasurerofthecompany. 5.Parallelideasshouldbelogicalequivalents. Absurd: Terryissixfeettall,kind,andaTexan. Physicalfeatures,traitsofcharacter,andplaceoforiginarenotlogicallycoordinated. Lessabsurd: Terry,asix-footTexan,iskind. Itisstillnotterriblylogical,butatleasttherevisionemphasizesonlyoneofTerry’squalities—his kindness. Absurd: OnSunday,Meredithnotonlypaintedhertoenailsbutgotmarried. This sentence is grammatically flawless, but unless it was written to get a laugh, it is ludicrous. Regardless of what you may have been told, painting toenails and getting married are not equivalents. Lessabsurd: BeforeherweddingonSunday,Meredithpaintedhertoenails.orOnSunday,afterpaintingher toenails,Meredithgotmarried. Subordinatingoneoftheideasrestoresthelogic,howeverweird. PracticeinIdentifyingParallelStructure Directions:Lookforfaultyparallelisminthefollowingsentences.Writeacorrectversionofthe offendingwordorphraseinthespaceprovided.Somesentencesmaybecorrect. 1.Mr.Phillipsisfunny,interesting,andinspireshisclassestolearnhistory. 2.Thetalk-showhostnotonlywasaccusedofbeingabigotbutalsotoostupidtocontinueworking atthestation. 3.SinceJennystartedtakingAPMath,shehasworkedharderandfewerparties. 4.Herjobconsistedmostlyofwritingandtypingletters,reports,andvarioustypesofphonecalls. 5.Mikelikestogotobedearlyandgettingupearlytodohiswork. 6.OurcatSylviawasshort-haired,affectionate,intelligent,anddisappearedfordaysatatime. 7.Maggiehasn’tyetdecidedwhethertobeanarthistorianorcommercialart. 8.Theaudienceatthegraduationceremonybothfeltprideandsatisfactionwhentheannouncement wasmade. 9.Thepoliceofficerwalkedintothecourtyard,gotcaughtinacrossfire,andwasshotinthechest. 10.Eitherway,Natexpectstomovetothecountrybecausehelovesnatureandlivesimplybecausehe haslittlemoney. 11.Thekidshadnotonlyscatteredtheirbooksalloverthebusbutalsothesidewalk. 12.Hisidealhousewouldbeinagoodlocation,withlandaroundit,andwithaview. 13.Joan’spencilwasbroken,yellow,andcamefromthisbox. 14.Histrainingindesignwouldhelphimtoknowhowtofurnishthehousesimplyanddecorating wouldbesimple,too. 15.Thelandladytoldhimthathecouldnothaveamicrowaveinhisroomandshowersafter11:00 o’clock. 16.Hearingnocarhornsandbusesandtobemilesfromfriendsmaycausehimtobecomeboredand restless. 17.Eitherthemousewillfindaquickwayintotheatticorwillgnawatthesidingfordays. 18.Citylivingisexciting,convenient,andprovidesplentyofentertainment. 19.Afterwinningthelottery,he’llhaveanapartmentintown,ahouseinthecountry,andfindajobin thesuburbs. 20.IthinkthatAdamhastheabilitytowinhismatch,defeatTominthesectionals,andhe’llemerge eventuallyasthebesthighschoolwrestlerinthestate. EditingforInterest Youressaywillbereadbypeople—realpeople.Mostofthemareteacherswhoknowthatessayscan belively,scintillating,andajoytoread.Likeanyreaders,theywillbeputoffbywritingthatisdull. Therefore,oneofyourgoalsontheSATessayistoinjectlifeintoyourproseby •Usingactiveinsteadofpassiveverbs •Writingactiveinsteadofpassivesentences •Omittingneedlesswords •Showinginsteadoftelling USINGACTIVEVERBS Activeverbsdifferfrombeingverbs.Becauseactiveverbsdescribeorshowmovement,theyexcel allotherwordsinpumpinglifeintoyourprose.What’smore,theyhelpyouwritemoreconcisely. Beingverbs,incontrast,havealmostnolifeinthem.Theirlifelessnessisapparentinthecommon formsoftheverbtobe: is were hadbeen are am havebeen was hasbeen willbe Usedinasentence,eachbeingverbjoinsasubjecttoapredicate.Infact,abeingverbfunctions muchlikeanequalsigninanequation:“Fiveminustwoisthree”(5–2=3),or“Samanthawas happy”(Samantha=happy),or“YourSATscoresaregoingup”(That=goodnews!).Becausebeing verbs(andequalsigns)showlittlelife,usethemsparingly. TIP Wheneverpossible,replacebeingverbswithactiveverbs. Tocheckwhetheryourelytooheavilyonbeingverbs,checkafewofyourmostrecentessays.If morethan,say,oneoutoffoursentencesusesaformoftobeasthemainverb,trythefollowing revisiontechniques. Substituteanewactiveverbforthebeingverb: Beingverb: Activeverb: Itisnoteasyformoststudentstowriteimmortalessays. Moststudentsstruggletowriteimmortalessays. Extractanactiveverbfromanouninthesentence: Beingverb: Activeverb: Monicawasthewinneroftheessaycontest. Monicawontheessaycontest. Extractanactiveverbfromanadjective: Beingverb: Activeverb: Myafternoonattheballgamewasenjoyable. Ienjoyedmyafternoonattheballgame. Asyoudeletebeingverbs,youmayobservethatsomesentencesresistchange.Whenthathappens, tryturningsubjectsintoverbsandverbsintonouns.Tryalsotoeliminateunnecessaryphrases.Afullscalerevisionwilloftenresultinsentencesthatbearlittleresemblancetotheoriginal.Atthesame time,yourverb-swappingeffortsmayrootoutexcesswordsandimproveyouressay’sreadability. Youmaynotice,however,thatsomenounslimityouroptionsforusingactiveverbs.Forinstance, youareprettywellstuckwithaformoftobeinanysentencethatbeginswithThereason: Thereasonthatyoushouldpracticewritingessays______… Whatverbotherthaniscanbeusedtofilltheblank?Veryfew.Therearefewverboptions,too,when the subject of the sentence is thought, concept, idea, issue, way, cause, and several other abstract nouns.Thesameappliestosentencesthatbeginwith“There,”asin:“Thereisnowayforyoutodo poorly on the SAT essay,” and often for sentences that begin with “It,” as in “It is a foregone conclusionthatyou’lldowell.” Incontrast,nounsthatstandforspecificplaces,people,events,andobjectsinvitetheuseofactive verbs.Whenasentencecontainsasubjectthatcandosomething—aperson,forexample—youcan neverrunoutofverbchoices. Asabonus,concrete,easy-to-definenouns,whensubstitutedforabstractions,tendtotightenand energizesentences: Abstractsubject: Definitesubject: ThecauseofSharon’sworrywasherlackoftuitionmoney. Sharonworriedaboutherlackoftuitionmoney. Abstractsubject: Definitesubject: Theissuebehindthestrikewastheworkers’demandforhigherwages. Theworkersstruckforhigherwages. Beingverbsarenottheonlyverbsthatsapthelifeoutofsentences.Theysharethatdistinctionwith severalotherverbs,includingformsoftohave,tocome,togo,tomake,tomove,andtoget—verbs withsomanydifferentusesthattheycreepintosentencesvirtuallyunnoticed.Webster’sInternational Dictionarylistssixteendifferentmeaningsfortheverbgetandadozenmoreformakeandmove.It’s truethatwecanhardlydowithouttheseverbs,butusethemonlyifyoucanswearthatnootherwords willdo.Otherwise,tradetheminformorevividverbs,asin: Dull: Livelier: Thelinetotheboxofficemovedveryslowly. Thelinecrept(crawled,inched,poked)totheboxoffice. Note that by using a more animated verb, you eliminate the need for “very slowly,” which has suddenlybecomeredundant. Dull: Livelier: Thepoliceofficergavedriverspermissiontoturnleftonred. Thepoliceofficerpermitteddriverstoturnleftonred. Notethatthisrevisionhascreatednotjustamoreactivesentencebutonethatcontainsfewerwords— alwaysastylisticplus. PracticeinUsingActiveVerbs Directions:Replacetheweak,lifelessverbsinthesesentenceswithstronger,activeones. 1.ShockwasthefeelingofmostAmericanpeoplefromtheattackof9/11. 2.InNewYorkCity,therewerenearlythreethousandpeoplekilled. 3.Afterwards,therewasacontroversyoverwhowastoblameforAmerica’svulnerabilityto terrorism. 4.Therewasaneffortmadetostrengthenhomelandsecurity. 5.Manypeoplewerewillingtogiveupsomeoftheirrightsinordertobesecure. 6.Theissueofhowmuchfreedomtogiveupforthesakeofsecurityisdifficulttoresolve. 7.ThewarinAfghanistanwasasignificanteventthatwasaresultof9/11. 8.Sweatshirtsandbaggypantswasourmannerofdresswheneverwewentout. 9.Therewasquitealotofcommotionbecauseoftherebeinganall-Americanhighschool basketballplayerplayinginthegame. 10.Itisobviousthatthereshouldbemoreemphasisonmathandsciencefortheaveragecollegeboundstudent. ACTIVEANDPASSIVESENTENCES Activesentencesstrengthenprose;passivesentencesweakenit.Inanactive sentence the person or thingperforminganactionisusuallymentionedearlyinasentencesothatreadersknowrightaway who or what you are talking about. In some contexts, though, the actor is unknown or irrelevant. That’swhenapassivesentence—asentencestructuredinthepassivevoice—ismoreappropriate.For example: Passive: Active: Thecurtainwasraisedat8:30sharp. At8:30sharp,astagehand(orMaryanne,theproductionassistant)raisedthecurtain. Inthepassiveversion,curtaintimeistheimportantfact.Whopulledtheropeorpushedthebuttonis besidethepoint. Otheroccasionswhenapassive-voicesentencemaybeappropriate,orevenpreferable,include: •Whenthepointofthesentenceistorevealtheidentityoftheactor: Active: Passive: Tommy,aneight-year-oldboy,hackedintotheagency’scomputersystem. Theagency’scomputersystemwashackedintobyTommy,aneight-year-oldboy. •Whenyouwanttoconcealtheactor. Active: Passive: Sorry,Ilostthelibrarybook. Sorry,thelibrarybookhasbeenlost. •Whenyouwanttoavoidusinggender-basedpronouns. Active: Passive: Everymemberofthemarchingbandmustreturnhisorheruniform. Uniformsmustbereturnedbyeverymemberofthemarchingband. Transformingapassivesentencetoanactiveonemaytakeabitofdoing: Sixweekswerespentpreparingforthespringcarnival. Thissentenceneedsrevisionbecauseitfailstotellwhoperformedtheaction—thatis,whoprepared forthecarnival.Thefollowingrevisionclearsuptheuncertainty: Sixweekswerespentpreparingforthespringcarnivalbythecheerleaders. Thisversioncontainsmoreinformationthantheoriginal,butitstillemphasizestheactioninsteadof whoperformedtheaction.Tomakethetransformationcomplete,saysomethinglike Thecheerleaderspreparedforthespringcarnivalforsixweeks. Intheactivevoice,thissentencegivestheperformersoftheactiontopbilling. Whyistheactivevoicebetterthanthepassivevoice?Mainlybecausemosteventsinlifedon’tjust occurbythemselves.Somebodydoessomething;apersonorthingacts.Afterall,burgersdon’tjust geteaten;peoplecookanddevourthem.Marriagesdon’tjusthappen;couplesdeliberatelygooutand marryeachother.Goalsdon’tscore,salmondon’tgetcaught,andwalletsdon’tgetlostallby themselves.Peopledothesethings. Goodessaywriters,takingadvantageofreaders’naturalcuriosityaboutothers,strivetomakethe performeroftheactionthegrammaticalsubjectoftheirsentences: Passive: Active: Passive: Active: TheawardwaspresentedtoCarriebythetownRotaryClub. ThetownRotaryClubpresentedanawardtoCarrie. Annapoliswasattendedbymybrother,mycousin,andthreeofmyuncles. Mybrother,mycousin,andthreeuncleswenttoAnnapolis. AsyoupreparefortheSAT,reviewyouressaysforpassivesentences.Changethemtoactive sentencesunlessyouhaveagoodreasonnotto. PracticeinRevisingPassiveSentences Directions:Pleaserewritethefollowingsentences,puttingeachinactivevoice. 1.Thebackyardwascoveredbydeadleaves. 2.ThecrisisintheMiddleEastwasdiscussedbyus. 3.Friday’squizwasfailedbecauseIhadbeenataplayrehearsaleverynightthatweek. 4.PortlandwasflowntoatthestartofourweeklongvacationinOregon. 5.ThegreatwhitewhalewaspursuedbyCaptainAhabandhiscrew. 6.ThenewspaperisfetchedbyFidoeverymorning. 7.Thedecisiontogotowarwasmadebythepresidentandhisadvisors. 8.DinnerwastakenoutbymorethantwentycustomersonFridaynight. 9.FiveofShakespeare’splayswereseenbyourgroupinthreedays. 10.Normally,thebrainiscalledonbythebodybeforeyoudosomethingphysical. OMITTINGNEEDLESSWORDS Neverusetwowordswhenonewilldo.Tellyourreadersquicklyanddirectlywhatyouhavetosay. Brevityworksbest.Cutoutneedlesswords.Readersvalueeconomy. Stop!Haveyounoticedthatthepreviousparagraphdisregardstheveryadviceitdispenses?Doyou seerepetitionandredundancy?Couldn’tthepointhavebeenmademorebrieflyandsuccinctly? TIP Sentencesshouldbefirmandtight.Omitneedlesswords! Holdit,again!Lookatthatlastphrase,brieflyandsuccinctly.Aha!Anotherredundancy.Theauthor shouldhaveusedone,butnotboth,adverbs. Here’sawordtothewise: Youshouldworkthroughallofthesentencesyouwritebyexaminingeachoneandcrossingoutall thewordsyoudon’tdefinitelyneed. Intruth,that’stwenty-fourwordstothewise—probablymorethanareneeded. Gothrougheverysentenceyouwriteandcrossoutunnecessarywords. That’sbetter—elevenwordsoffreeadvice,butstilltoomany.Thesentencecouldbetrimmedstill further: Cutunnecessarywordsoutofeverysentence. Thisseven-wordmodelislessthanathirdoftheoriginaltwenty-fourwordclunker.Butitcanbe paredevenmore: Omitneedlesswords. Yoursentences,likemuscles,shouldbefirmandtight.Inleanwriting,everywordcounts.Totrim fat,wringyoursentencesthroughthisfour-stepwordtrimmer: 1.Lookforrepetition.Thencombinesentences. Fat: Trimmed: ElenatookJessetothemovies.JesseisElena’sbrother.(10words) ElenatookherbrotherJessetothemovies.(8words) Granted, cutting ten words to eight may not seem like much. But consider that it’s a 20 percent reduction,andina500-wordessay,a20percentreductionamountsto100words,theequivalentof awholeparagraph. Fat: Trimmed: Re-trimmed: WhenMariawassixteenyearsofagesheacceptedapositionatWilkens’Fabrics.Inthisposition shelearnedaboutfabricsandabouthowtohandlecustomers.(27) Atsixteenyearsold,MariaacceptedapositionatWilkens’Fabrics,whereshelearnedaboutfabrics andhandlingcustomers.(19) WorkingatWilkens’Fabricsatagesixteen,Marialearnedtohandlebothfabricsandcustomers.(15) 2.Lookfortelltalewordslikewhich,who,that,thing,all.Theyoftensignifythepresenceoffat. Fat: Trimmed: Edisonwasamanwhowasobsessedbythewondersofelectricity.(12) ThewondersofelectricityobsessedEdison.(6) Changingthegrammaticalsubjectandreplacingwaswithanactiveverbhalvedthewordcount. Fat: Trimmed: Whathemostwantedwasthattheterroristswouldreleasethehostages.(12) Hemostwantedtheterroriststoreleasethehostages.(9) 3.Huntforphrasesthataddwordsbutnomeaning,suchasthefactthat,duetothefactthat,atthis pointintime,atthepresenttime,andcomparableusages. Fat: Trimmed: Hamletreturnedhomeasaresultofhisfather’sdeath.(10) Hamletreturnedhomebecausehisfatherdied.(7). Fat: Trimmed: Thetroopswereindangerduethefactthatmineshadbeenplantedinthefield.(16) Theminefieldendangeredthetroops.(6) OtherFatPhrases whatImeanis onaccountof,asaresultof inthefinalanalysis fewandfarbetween eachandeveryone thisisasubjectthat Trimmed Imean because finally few each thissubject teninnumber attheageofsixyearsold mostunique truefact biographyofherlife inregardto,withregardto, inrelationto,withrespectto ten atagesix unique fact biography about Arichvocabularycanalsohelpturnflabbysentencesintotightones: Fat: Trimmed: Fat: Trimmed: Useatoolwithasharppointthatpokesholesinleather.(12) Useanawl.(3) Sometimeshisgrandfatherhadacheerfulanddynamicpersonality,butatothertimeshewithdrew intohimselfandbecameangryanddepressed.(22) Hisgrandfathersufferedfrombipolardisorder.(6) 4.Searchforredundancies.Innumerablewordsarewastedonreiterationofwhathasalreadybeen stated,onrepeatingtheobvious,onrestatingideas,onsayingthesamethingagainandagainand overandover,drivingreaderstothebrinkofmadness. Fat: Acloudofblacksootroseuptothesky.(10) Soot,bydefinition,isblack,andrisingcloudscanonlygoup. Trimmed: Fat: Acloudofsootrosetothesky.(8) Hehadasmileonhisface.(7) Whereelsebutonafacewouldasmileappear? Trimmed: Fat: Heworeasmile.(4) AftercarefullyscrutinizingtheX-ray,thedoctorseemedfullyengrossedinherowntrainof thought.(16) Scrutinizemeans“tostudycarefully,”andengrossedmeans“tothinkfully.”Also,herowntrainof thoughtisnonsensicalbecausenoonecanthinkothers’thoughts. Trimmed: AfterscrutinizingtheX-ray,thedoctorseemedengrossedinthought.(10) Afteryouhaveparedyoursentencestothebone,re-readwhatremainsanddiscardstillmoreby trackingdownlittlewordslikethe,a,an,up,down,its,andand.Eventhoughitmayhurttotakeout whatyouworkedhardtoputin,don’twhine.Justgrityourteethanddoit! PracticeinTrimmingNeedlessWords PARTA Directions:Tightenthesesentences,butpreservetheirmeaning. 1.Theauthor,amannamedPeterJenkins,wroteabookwiththetitleAWalkAcrossAmerica,about walkingacrossAmerica,whichheaccomplishedafterwalkingtwenty-fivemilesadayinorderto prepareforhiswalkacrossAmerica. 2.Thereisnoreasonforthechairpersonofthecommittee,whoisCarolynWelles,totakeoffenseat mysuggestion,whichisaimedattryingtomakethemeetingsmoreproductiveandusefultothe entirestudentbodyatlarge. 3.Mollywaselectedtobetheeditoroftheyearbookinspiteofthefactthathergradesinwritingin Englishcoursesarereallynotverygoodatall. 4.Somekindsofcriticismaregood,butotherkindsofcriticismdomoreharmthangood.Harmful criticismiscriticismthattearsapersondowninsteadofhelpingthepersonovercomeordealwith aproblem. 5.EveryAmericanshouldhaveagoodknowledgeofourcountry,andthebestwaytogainagood knowledgeandfamiliaritywiththeUnitedStatesistovisitandseeplacesofhistoricinterestand significancetoourcountry. PARTB Directions:Thiswordyparagraphappearedinanessaythatadvocatedgainingweight.Pleasetrim itsfat. Such weight-gaining ideas can be used to good advantage by each and every man, woman, and childwhoisinterestedinaddingpoundsofweighttohisorherbody.Theyarethelatest,mostupto-datesetofproceduresavailableanywhere.Owingtothefactthathealthexpertsandauthorities believethatitisbettertobeunderweightthanitistobeoverweight,ideasforputtingonweight aregenerallythoughttobejokesnottakenseriously,whichisthereasonwhysuchideasarekept underwrapsandnotpublicizedverywidelyorbroadly.Yet,therearemanypeopleofallkinds who need to gain weight for a variety of diverse reasons. Here is a quotation that Slim Snyder, whoisagraduateofStanfordUniversity,statedduringaspeechhegaveatameetingofpeople gatheredtogetheratahealthconferencerecently:“Leanpeoplearevictimsofdiscrimination,just asobesepeopleare.” Foradditionalpracticeineliminatingwordiness,turntoPartV. SHOWINGVS.TELLING Remembertheprinciplethatapictureisworthathousandwords?Whetherthat’strueisarguable,but thepointisnot.Wordshelpreaderssee.Therefore,showmorethanyoutell!Insteadofdescribing your uncle as “absent-minded,” show him stepping into his morning shower dressed in his pj’s. Rather than telling the reader that your room is “a mess,” show the pile of wrinkled clothes in the cornerandthebooksandSnickerswrappersscatteredonthefloornexttoyourunmadefuton.The sameprincipleappliestosmells:“Herbreathwasfoulwiththestenchofstalewhiskey.”Tosounds: “thegrowlofachainsawinthedistance.”Totouch:“thefeelofcoollinenbedsheets.”Andtotastes: “a cold, sweet drink of spring water on a scorching summer day.” In short, showing recreates experienceforthereader,ultimatelymakingtheprosemoreinteresting. Telling: Showing: Telling: Showing: IwashappyaftermymeetingwithMr.Blair. IboltedfromMr.Blair’soffice,boundeddownthestepsfouratatime,andshoutedintothewind, “Hurray,Ididit.” Myteacher,Mr.Franks,doesn’tcaretohearthatIdon’thavethetimetodomathhomeworkafter school. WhenIexplainedtoMr.FranksthatI’mkeptfrommathhomeworkbydrivingmybrotherTimmyto pianolessonsorkarate,byyearbookmeetingsonTuesdays,byPeerLeadersandStudentsAgainst DrivingDrunk,byFrenchtutoring,andbyapart-timejobattheflorist,hemuttered,“That’syour problem.” Nooneexpectsyoutoloadallyouressayswithaprofusionofstrikingimagesthatshowinsteadof tell.Thefactisthatwritersstruggleforyearstoperfectthetechnique.Moreover,toomuchdetailcan beasunproductiveastoolittle.Abalanceisbest.Noonecantellyouexactlyhowtoachievethat balance.Youneedtimetogetthefeelofit,likeridingabikeordoingabackflip.Thecontext,aswell asyourjudgmentofareader ’sneedtoknow,shoulddeterminehowdetailedyouneedtobe.To developtheknack,studyawrittenpassagethatyouadmire.Pickoutbothdetailsandbroadstatements. Forpractice,usethepassageasamodelforwritingaparagraphofyourown. PracticeinShowingInsteadofTelling Directions:Revisetheproseofthetellingsamplesintoshowingexamples. 1.Telling:Mikeisverytall. 2.Telling:Aftershewon,sheexperiencedawonderfulanduniquefeelingthatmadeherwant towinagain. 3.Telling:Thestorewasaquaintoldplace. 4.Telling:Itsmelledjustthewayabeachissupposedtosmell. 5.Telling:Theclassisoutofcontrol. 6.Telling:Pioneershadahardtime. 7.Telling:Thecabinwasreallyrundown. 8.Telling:Theairpollutionwassickening. 9.Telling:Thespeechstirredthecrowd. 10.Telling:MaryJane’smotherisobsessedbycleanliness. CheckingforStandardUsageandMechanics Practicetheseguidelinestominimizewritingerrors: •Writecorrectsentences •Usecorrectverbs •Useadjectivesandadverbscorrectly •Choosecorrectpronouns •Correctpunctuationandcapitalization WRITECORRECTSENTENCES Time won’t permit you to analyze meticulously every sentence in your SAT essay. But if you habituallyscrutinizethesentencesinyourpracticeessaysandinotherworkyoudoforschool,you’ll soon purge from your writing such errors as fragments (incomplete sentences), run-ons, which consist of two or more improperly joined sentences, and comma splices, formed when a comma separatestwocompletesentences. Toavoidthesecommonerrors,alwayslookforthenounorpronounthatfunctionsasthe grammaticalsubjectofthesentenceandfortheverbthatitgoeswith.Everysentencestatesitssubject exceptonethatgivescommandsormakesrequests(Makeitsnappy!Sit!Pleasehurryup.),inwhich casethesubjectisunderstoodtobetheaddressee—you,thedog,aslowpoke…whomever. Formoredetailsandpracticeinwritingcorrectsentences,turntoPartV. USECORRECTVERBS Ofallthepartsofspeech,verbsarethemostapttobeusedincorrectly.AsyouedityourSATessay, therefore,askyourselfthefollowingthreequestions: 1.Doallnounsandpronounsagreeinnumberwiththeirverbs? 2.Iseveryverbinthecorrecttense? 3.Iseveryverbinthecorrectform? LearntoanswerthesequestionsaccuratelybystudyingthefollowingsectionsofPartV:subject–verb agreement;properuseofverbtenses;andcorrectformofverbs. USEADJECTIVESANDADVERBSCORRECTLY Errorssometimesoccurwhenanadjectiveisusedwhereanadverbisrequired.Thereverse—using an adverb in place of an adjective—occurs less often. Check your essay for the proper use of adjectivesandadverbs. Fordetailsandpracticeinadjective/adverbuse,turntoPartV. CHOOSECORRECTPRONOUNS Skimyouressayforpronounerrors,whichturnupmostoftenwhenpronounsarepaired,asinhe andIandmeandthem.Ifyoucan’tdependonyoursenseofwhatsoundsrightandwrong,keepin mindthatmostcommonpronounsfallintotwogroups: Group1:I,he,she,they,we,you,who Group2:me,him,her,them,us,you,whom Thepronounsinthefirstgrouparenominativecasepronouns(sometimescalledsubjectivecase pronouns)andareusedingrammaticalsubjectsandpredicatenominatives.Thesecondgroup —objectivecasepronouns—areusedeverywhereelse.Becausepairsmustcomefromthesamecase, problemsarisewhenpronounsfromdifferentcasesshowupinthesamephrase,as“HimandIwent tothemovies.”Anytimeyouneedapairofpronouns,andyouknowthatoneofthemiscorrect,pick theotherfromthesamegroup.Ifyoudon’tknoweitherpronoun,here’sahandyruleofthumbto follow:SubstituteIormeforoneofthem.IfIseemstofit,choosepronounsfromGroup1;ifmefits better,useGroup2. Formoredetailsandapracticeexerciseinchoosingthecaseofpronouns,turntoPartV. Asyoureviewyouressay,checkthereferenceofallpronouns.Thatis,besurealsothatevery pronounrefersclearlytoitsantecedent—usuallyanounoranotherpronoun.Confusioncomeswhen nocleartieexists,especiallywhenapronounseemstorefertomorethanoneantecedent: ThelibrariantoldSarahthatitwasherresponsibilitytoshelvethebooks. BecausethepronounhermayrefertoeitherthelibrarianortoSarah,thesentenceneedsrevision: ThelibrariantoldSarahthatoneofherresponsibilitiesasalibraryclerkwastoshelvebooks. Alsowatchforimpliedreferences,whichofteninvolvethepronounsit,they,andyou,buteven morefrequently,therelativepronounswhich,that,andthis. Finally,don’tusepronounstorefertopossessives,asin: InEminem’slatesthit,hestumblesoverseveralwords. ThepronounheobviouslyreferstoEminem,butthewordEminemdoesn’tappearinthesentence. BecausethepossessivenounEminem’sisnotagrammaticalequivalenttoEminem,therevised sentenceshouldbe: Inhislatesthit,Eminemstumblesoverseveralwords. Formoredetailsandanexerciseinpronounreference,turntoPartV. Stayalertalsoforshiftsinpronounpersonwithinindividualsentences,withinparagraphs,and withinthewholeessay.Keepinmindthatasentenceorapassagecastinthesecondperson(you),for example,shouldusuallyremainsofromstarttofinish.Likewise,asentenceorpassagewritteninthe firstorthirdpersonshouldstaythatwaythroughout. Formoredetailsandanexerciseinpronounperson,turntoPartV. Finally,takealookattheagreementbetweenallthepronounsandtheirantecedents.Dotheyagree ingender,number,andperson?Problemsfrequentlyoccurwithwordslikeeveryone,anyone,and nobody—singularwordsthatshouldusuallybefollowedbysingularpronouns.Sometimessuch wordsaremeantasplurals,however,andshouldbefollowedbypluralpronouns. Formoredetailsandanexerciseinpronoun-antecedentagreement,turntoPartV. CORRECTPUNCTUATIONANDCAPITALIZATION Because error-free essays tend to earn higher scores, it pays to review your essay for proper punctuationanduseofcapitalletters. CorrectPunctuation A few basic rules cover 90 percent of everyday punctuation. The hardest thing about the rules is knowingwhereandwhentoapplythem. Apostrophes.Apostrophesareusedinonlythreeplaces: 1.Incontractionssuchaswon’t,it’s,could’ve,andwhere’s.Apostrophesmarkplaceswhereletters havebeenomitted. 2.Inpluralsofletters,signs,ornumbers,asinA’sandB’s,the1960’s,and10’sand20’s,although manyexpertssimplifymattersbywriting1960s,PsandQs,andsoforth. 3.Inpossessivenounssuchasthestudent’sclassandwomen’sroomandinindefinitepronounssuch asanybody’sguess.Whenthenounispluralandendsins,puttheapostropheafterthes,asin leaves’colorandhorses’stable.Somepossessiveformsusebothanapostropheandof,asina friendofthefamily’s;someothersthatspecifytime,space,value,orquantityalsorequire apostrophes,asinanhour’stime,adollar’sworth,atmywit’send. Commas.Commasdividesentencesintoparts,clarifymeaning,andpreventconfusion. 1.Useacommatosignalapause,asin: Nopause: Pause: Afterbrushinghisteethgleamed. Afterbrushing,histeethgleamed. Commasareneededaftersomeintroductorywordsandinformsofaddress: Well,youcanopenitwheneverit’sconvenient. Theletterwillbewaitingforyouathome,Jimmy. 2.Commassetoffwordsthatinterrupttheflowofasentence,asin: Carolyn,regrettably,wasomittedfromtheroster. Jennie,ontheotherhand,wasincluded. Commasseparateinformationnotessentialtothemeaningofthesentence: Thelosthikers,whohadcomefromNewJersey,foundshelterinacave. Thethreebikers,whosemapofthecoursewasoutofdate,arrivedtwohourslater. Commassetoffappositives: Samantha,thedefensecounsel,enteredthecourtroom. Thejudge,Mr.Peterson,presidedatthetrial. 3.Commasseparatetheclausesofacompoundsentence: Thecompetitionisstiff,butitwon’tkeepMiriamfromwinning. Petehadbettercallmymother,orI’llbeinbigtrouble. 4.Commasseparateitemsinaseries: Rosie’scarneedsnewtires,abattery,amuffler,andanoilchange. ItwasawonderthatMarvcouldsitthroughthelong,boring,infantile,andridiculouslecture. Somewritersprefertoskipthecommabeforethelastiteminaseries,butjustincaseclaritymay suffer,itcan’thurttoputitin. 5.Commasseparatepartsofaddresses,dates,andplacenames: Wholivesat627West115thStreet,NewYork,NY? RichardwasbornonMay27,1996,thesamedayasIrene. DavehaslivedinMadison,Wisconsin;Seattle,Washington;andEugene,Oregon. Notethat,becauseeachiteminthelastexamplealreadycontainsacomma,semicolonshelptoavoid confusion. 6.Commasseparatequotationsfromattributionsindialogue. Johnsaid,“Closethewindow.” “Iwantitopen,”protestedBen. Semicolons. Semicolons may be used between closely related sentences, in effect, shortening the pausethatwouldnaturallyoccurbetweentwoseparatesentences: Motherwasworried;herdaughtersneverstayoutthislate. Themomentumwasbuilding;shecouldn’tbestoppednow. Acaution:Becausesemicolonsfunctionlikeperiods,usethemonlybetweenindependentclauses orinaseriesinwhichoneormoreitemscontainsacomma,asin: Onhistrek,NorwoodmetAllen,acarpenterfromMaine;Dr.Jones,apediatricianfromSt. Louis;Jonathan,anairlinepilot;andme,ofcourse. QuotationMarks.Quotationmarksusuallysurrounddirectquotations,asin: RitasaidtoBob,“I’mnutsaboutyou.” Quotationmarksalsoenclosethetitlesofpoems,stories,chapterheadings,essays,magazine articles,andothershortworks.Don’tusethemforlongerworks.Novels,plays,films,andmagazine titlesshouldbeunderlinedinhandwrittenessaysanditalicizedwhentheyappearinprint. Avoidcallingattentiontoclichés,triteexpressions,orslangtermsbyusingquotationmarks. Rewriteinstead,usingfresh,originallanguage. Finally,quotationmarksmayenclosewordsthatexpressthesilentthoughtsofacharacter,asin: Carlosglancedathiswatch.“I’mgoingtobelate,”hethought. Periodsandcommasareplacedinsideclose-quotationmarks.Questionmarksandexclamation pointsgooutsidethequotationmarkunlesstheyarepartofthequoteitself. “Whenwilltheseminarstart?”askedRegis. Doyouunderstandthemeaningoftheconcept“Theendjustifiesthemeans”? PracticeinUsingPunctuation PARTA.POSSESSIVES Directions: Check your mastery of possessives by writing the correct possessive form of the italicizedwordinthespaceprovided.Someitemsmaybecorrect. 1.Paulsreasonwaspersonal. 2.ThefutureofAmericasforeignpolicyisbeingdebated. 3.Teamsfromalloverthecountyhavegatheredatthestadium. 4.Luisisn’tatallinterestedinwomensissues. 5.Thegirlslockerroomisdownstairs,buttheboysisupstairs. 6.WeareinvitedtotheAndersonshouseforNewYearsEve. 7.AlloftheRossesaregoingouttoeat. 8.HaveyouseenMorrisiPod,whichhelefthereyesterday? 9.Bothofthecomputerskeyboardsneedrepair. 10.He’llbebackintwomonthstime. PARTB.COMMASANDSEMICOLONS Directions: In the following sentences, insert or remove commas and semicolons as necessary. Somesentencesmaybecorrect. 1.WhileBillwasridinghisbikegotaflattire. 2.ThemailcarrierdidnotleavethepackageforValeriewasnotathome. 3.AfterdoinghishomeworkMikeyasyoumightexpecttalkedonhiscellphoneforanhour. 4.Hisworkcriticizedmanycommonlyheldbeliefshoweveranditwasstrictlycensored. 5.Thecar,thatranintomineattheintersection,wasanSUV. 6.DadwenttotheairporttopickupDaveElliewenttothetrainstationtomeetDebbie. 7.Thepeoplewholivebythewatermustbepreparedforoccasionalflooding. 8.Theboat,wasseventy-fivefeetlongandeighteenfeetwide,itsmastwasabouteightyfeettall. 9.Toanyoneinterestedinflyingplanesholdendlessfascination. 10.JeffandSteveleftalonefortheweekendinvitedalltheirfriendstoaparty. 11.IneedstreetmapsofBoston;andPortland,Maine. 12.Someofthetheoriesdealtwiththepoliticalsocialandreligiousideasofthetime. 13.Students,whowanttotryoutforthechorus,havebeenaskedtoreporttoroom330. 14.Dougforexampleisbothascholarandanathlete. 15.Monicarefusedtogo,unlessPhilwentwithher. 16.TheheroofthebookJohnCoffeyrodehisbikeacrosstheUnitedStates. 17.Afterallshedidforhimwhatshecould. 18.StartinginMinnesotatheMississippirunsallthewaytotheGulfofMexico. 19.HaroldWatkinswhocomesfromChicagowonafulltuitionscholarshiptoDuke. 20.Althoughthecharactersarestereotypestheywereinterestingtoreadabout. 21.Yo-YoMathefamouscellistwillperformarecitalonSaturdaynight. 22.ThistestcoversSpanishliteraturecultureandhistory;anditlastsforthreehours. 23.MichelleisprettytallanddarkbutheroldersisterNormaisprettyshortandlight. 24.SeanthetwinbrotherofIanwasstruckbyafallingtreelimb. 25.Thewindowwasherdroppedbylasteveningbuthedidn’tbringhissqueegee. Capitalization Capitalization isn’t totally standardized, but it’s not a free-for-all either. You won’t go wrong followingtheseguidelines: 1.Capitalizethefirstwordsofsentences,directquotations,andlinesofpoetry(mostofthetime). Thisincludessentencesthatfollowcolons,asin: Hehadallthesymptomsoflove:HecouldthinkofnothingbutCherylalldaylong. 2.Capitalizepropernounsandadjectivesderivedfrompropernouns:Victoria,Victorian; Shakespeare,Shakespearean;France,Frenchdressing(butnotfrenchfries,whichhasbecomea genericterm). 3.Capitalizeplacenames:NorthAmerica,LakeMoosilauke,YosemiteNationalPark,GobiDesert, MountRushmore,PanamaCanal,theArcticOcean,TimesSquare,Route66.Don’tcapitalize north,east,south,andwestunlessyouarereferringtoaparticularregionofthecountry,asin: TheywentcampingintheWest. Nor should you capitalize the common noun that is not part of the actual place name: the canal acrossPanama,thecityofMoline,andtheplainsoftheMidwest. 4.Capitalizelanguages,races,nationalities,andreligions:theHungarianlanguage,Inuit, Argentinian,Hispanic,Muslim. 5.Capitalizeorganizations,institutions,andbrandnames:UnitedNations,PittsburghPirates, LibraryofCongress,AutomobileClubofAmerica,Amtrak,SouthwestAirlines,theInternet, Toyota.Don’t,however,capitalizethecommonnounassociatedwiththebrandname,asinCrest toothpasteorStarbuck’scoffee. 6.Capitalizetitlesofpersonsthatindicaterank,office,profession,whentheyareusedwiththe person’sname:CongressmanKelly,DoctorDolittle,CoachMcConnell,JudgeJudy,Lieutenant Lawlor.Also,thetitlesofhighofficialswhentheyareusedinplaceoftheofficial’sname,asin theSecretaryGeneral,thePrimeMinister,theSecretaryoftheTreasury.Don’tcapitalizetitles whenreferringgenericallytotheposition:thesuperintendentofschools,theassistantlibrarian, theclerkofthehighwaydepartment. 7.Capitalizefamilyrelationships,butonlywhentheyareusedwithaperson’sname:UncleWesley, GrandmaJones,CousinDave. 8.Capitalizetitlesofbooks,plays,stories,articles,poems,songs,andothercreativeworks:The GrapesofWrath,Hamlet,“AnOccurrenceatOwlCreekBridge,”“OdetoaGrecianUrn,”“Box ofRain.”Notethatarticles,conjunctions,andprepositionsoflessthanfivelettersarenot capitalizedunlesstheyappearasthelastorthefirstwordsinthetitle. 9.CapitalizereferencestotheDeityandreligioustracts:God,theGospel,theTorah,theKoran,the Lord,theProphet.AlsocapitalizepronounsreferringtoHimorHer. 10.Capitalizehistoricalnames,events,documents,andperiods:BattleofGettysburg,Alienand SeditionActs,Warof1812,BillofRights,MiddleAges. 11.Capitalizedaysoftheweek,months,holidays:Monday,May,Mothers’Day.Theseasonsarenot capitalizedunlessgivenanidentitysuchasOldManWinter. 12.Capitalizethenamesofspecificcoursesandschools:History101,ForensicScience,Brookvale HighSchool,ColumbiaCollege.Whilecoursenamesarecapitalized,subjectsarenot.Therefore, youstudyhistoryinAmericanHistory101andlearnforensicsinForensicScience.Similarly,you attendhighschoolatBrookvaleHighSchoolandgotocollegeatColumbia. PracticeinApplyingCapitalization Directions:Addcapitalletterswheretheyareneededinthefollowingsentences. 1.onlabordaybenningtoncounty’sfiredepartmentplanstoholdaturkeyshootonthefieldat miller ’spond. 2.thejudgegavedistrictattorneylipmanabookentitledtherulesofevidenceandinstructedherto readitbeforesheeverdaredsetfootinthecourtofappealsoftheninthcircuitagain. 3.thesecretaryofstategreetedthepresidentofaustriaattheronaldreaganairportinwashington, d.c. 4.theshackletonexpeditionnearlymetitsdoomongeorgiaislandinantarctica. 5.forchristmashegotablack&deckertablesawfromthesearsstorenexttotheoldbedford courthouse. 6.accordingtogeorgetown’shighschoolprincipal,eugenegriffiths,georgetownhighschool attractsstudentsfromthewholewestcoast.atgeorgetownstudentsmaymajorindrawingand painting,design,graphics,orsculpture.mr.griffithssaid,“iattendedasimilarhighschoolinnew englandjustafterthevietnamwar.” 7.weexpecttocelebratenewyear ’seveagainthisyearbyorderingamovieofanoldbroadway musicalfromnetflixandsettlingdowninfrontofthedvdplayerwithsomepepsiandaboxof oreos. 8.aftertravelingallthewaytothepacific,thecorpsofdiscoveryrodedownthemissouririver goingeastontheirwaybacktost.louis. 9.Thisirishlinentableclothwasboughtatk-martintheemeryvillemalloffpowellstreet. 10.yellowstonenationalparkislocatedinthenorthwesterncornerofthestateofwyoming. Review Here’sthelistofthetwelveprinciplesofgoodwriting,reproducedtoremindyouoncemorethat referringtothemagainandagainwillworktoyouradvantageasyoupreparefortheSAT. Prewriting Analyzethetopiccarefully. Narrowthetopicmercilessly. Chooseamainideathatmatters. Gatherandarrangeideaspurposefully. Composing Hookreaderswithagrippingintroduction. Developparagraphscoherently. Useplainandprecisewords. Varythesentencestructure. Endtheessaymemorably. EditingandProofreading Editforclarity. Editforinterest. Checkforstandardusageandmechanics. AnswerKeytoPracticeExercises ChoosingaMainIdea Thesearesuggestionsonly.Youranswersmaybeequallyormoreeffective. 1.A.HenryFordknewmoreaboutcarsthanaboutpeople,becausetalent,ability,andalittlebitof luckarethemostimportantingredientsofsuccess. B.IfHenryFord’sstatementiscorrect,theworldisfilledwithself-deludedpeople. C.FromspellingbeestoNobelPrizes,nobodywithanegativeattitudehaseverbeenawinner. 2.A.Whileratsmaylearntorunthroughamazeforafoodpellet,childrenaredifferent. B.Politicalhistoryshowsthatifadictatorwantstocontrolhispeople,heshouldscaretheliving daylightsoutofthem. C.Knowingthatacceptancetoagoodcollegewaitsforthem,moststudentswillinglygothrough hell,includingtheSAT,togetthere. 3.A.Thosewhosay“Moneyistherootofallevil”knowwhattheyaretalkingabout. B.DreamingofwealthisasAmericanasapplepie—partofthegreatAmericandream. C.Onlyading-a-ling,orsomeonenamedJayGatsby,wouldtrulybelievethatmoneycanbuy happiness. 4.A.Mandelaispartlyrightandpartlywrongbecauseeverythingkeepschanging. B.Goingbacktooldplacesthathaven’tchangedtellsyoumoreaboutwhatyouwerethanabout whatyou’vebecome. C.Afterarecentvisittomyoldelementaryschool,IcouldnotagreemorewithMandela’s observation. 5.A.Bryanisdefinitelyontherighttrack.Nothingisaspersonallysatisfyingasachievingagoal throughhardwork. B.WhichkindofsuccessdoIprefer?Frankly,I’lltakeiteitherway. C.I’veheardthatpeoplemaketheirowngoodluckbytheirdecisionsandchoices.Therefore,it’s simplistictothinkthatyourdestinycanbeachievedwithoutit. GatheringandArrangingIdeas Answerswillvary.Theorderofideasisstrictlyamatterofpersonalpreference. A.Advantages: 1.Manymorestudentswouldbecomephysicallyfit. 2.Regularexercisereducesstressandpromotesfeelingsofwell-being. 3.Studentslearnlifelongphysical/recreationalskills. Disadvantages: 1.Opportunitytotakeimportantelectivecoursesisreduced. 2.Studentslosetimethatcanbeusedtostudyfortestsandquizzes. 3.Tiringphysicalactivityweakensabilitytoconcentrate/focusonacademics. B.Pros: 1.Videogamesprovidepleasureandentertainment. 2.Manyinteractivegamesstimulatethemindandfosterproblem-solvingskills. 3.Theyimprovehand-eyecoordination. Cons: 1.Videogamestendtobeaddictive. 2.Theyglorifyviolenceanddestructivebehaviors. 3.Theirhighcostdivertsfamilyfundsfrommoreworthwhilepursuits. C.For: 1.Cheatingisrampantandsomethingshouldbedoneaboutit. 2.Acodewillimprovethemoralclimateintheschool. 3.Studentsmustlearnthatthereareconsequencesforcheating. Against: 1.Acodecreatesanatmosphereoffearandapprehension,likeapolicestate. 2.Studentswillbereluctanttoratoneachother. 3.Itdiscouragesstudentsfromhelpingeachotherlearn. D.Agree: 1.Warcausespeopleandnationstoabandonthequalitiesthatmakethemhuman. 2.Warscausedeath,suffering,anddestruction. 3.Warscostmoneythatcanandshouldbeusedforimprovinglives,notdestroyingthem. Disagree: 1.Waragainstterrorismprovidessecurityforthepeople. 2.Wartodeposetyrantsisofbenefittomankind. 3.Warsonpoverty,drugs,andothersocialevilsimprovethequalityoflife. WritinganAppealingOpening Answerswillvary.Beconfidentthattheessayopeningsyouwrotemaybenolesseffectivethanthese samples. 1.Topic:Thecourageofone’sconvictions Mosthighschoolkidswouldratherbecaughtdeadthanbeconsideredoutofsynchwiththe crowd.Anexceptiontotheruleismybestfriend,MollyMcBride.Shewouldconsiderherselfdead ifshecouldn’texpressherindividualityandbedifferentfromeveryoneelse. 2.Topic:Deadlines Mydadrecentlyboughtmeasmartphone.AtfirstIthoughtitwasastrangegiftforafatherto presenttohissononhisseventeenthbirthday.Afterall,I’mnotabusinessmanoralawyerora high-poweredboomerwhoneedstokeeptabsonmeetingsandclientsandoverseasflightsto catch.ButDadsaidthatI’dneedasmartphoneverysoon,andhewasright!I’mapplyingtomore thanhalfadozencolleges,eachwithitsowndeadlinestokeeptrackofandmeet,andwithoutmy smartphone,mylifewouldbeevenmorechaoticthanitis. 3.Topic:“Keepit!Youmayneeditsomeday.” Ifyou’veeverseen“TheAntiquesRoadShow”ontelevision,you’dneverthrowanythingaway, neverholdagaragesale,neverpassupanopportunitytobuyanoldtoy,anashtrayfromthe World’sFair,aminiatureStatueofLiberty,oranyotherpieceofjunktofillyourshelvesand clutterupyourclosets.Thereasonisthatallthesethingsmaybegreatinvestmentsandcould somedaybeworthhundreds,eventhousands,oftimesmorethanyoupaidforthem. 4.Topic:Thewrongtimeinthewrongplace In1939,almostathousandJewsmanagedtoescapefromHitler ’sGermanybyboardingtheSS St.Louis,anoceanlinerboundforsafetyinCuba.OncetheyarrivedoffshoreinHavana,however, Cubanauthoritieswouldnotlettheshipdock.TheUnitedStatesalsoturnedtheSt.Louisaway, eventhoughthepassengerscouldseethelightsofMiamiinthedistance.Withnoplacetogo,the shipsailedbacktoEurope.Manyofthepassengerssettledincountriessoontobeoverrunbythe NazisandperishedintheHolocaust. 5.Topic:Responsibility Whydoesn’tmymothertrustme?WhydoIgetonly$10aweekallowance?WhymustIcontact homeeverytwohourswhenIamoutwithmyfriends?Whywon’tmyfathereverletmeborrow hiscar?HowwillIeverlearnresponsibilityifIneverhaveany? DevelopingTopicSentences PARTA 1.Sentence1 2.None.Impliedtopicsentence 3.Sentence7 4.Sentence10 5.Sentence1 6.Sentence1 7.Sentence1 8.Sentence3 9.Sentence2 10.Sentence6 PARTB Answersmayvary. 1.MotherandFatherareverydifferentfromeachother. 2.InthepastU.S.athletesdominatedtheOlympicGames. 3.Monopoliesoftendestroynotonlythemselvesbuttheincentiveofbusinessestochangeandmake progress. 4.Howlittlethearistocracyunderstoodtheneedsofthemasses. 5.VeraSimonwroteagrippingandrealisticbook. 6.Smokinginschoolisjustnotworththetroubleitcanleadto. 7.Butherearemyrequirementsfortheperfectroommate. 8.Ageandexperiencehavedeprivedmeofcourageandspirit. 9.Notopicsentenceisneeded. 10.Althoughbackwardinsomerespects,aso-calledprimitiveculturecanbetechnologically sophisticated. PARTC Answers will vary. The topic sentences you wrote may be as good as or even better than these examples. a.OfalltheequipmentneededtotraversetheinhumanlandofAntarctica,nothingismoreimportant thanateamofwell-trainedsleddogs. b.Antarcticatakesyourbreathaway. c.Thisisnotanidlecomparison,becauseateveryturnyouareputtingyourhealthandsafetyin jeopardy. DevelopingParagraphs 1.a.3 b.5 c.1 d.2 e.4 4.a.5 b.4 c.1 d.2 e.3 2.a.3 b.1 c.4 d.5 e.2 5.a.5 b.3 c.2 d.1 e.4 3.a.5 b.3 c.1 d.4 e.2 IdentifyingParagraphUnityandCoherence 1.Sentence3destroysthecoherenceoftheparagraph.Deleteit.There’snoreasontosaveit,because theideaisreiteratedinsentence7. 2.Theparagraphlacksunity.Itstartsbydiscussingconsequencesonyoungpeopleofsmoking marijuanaandendsbyexplainingparents’problems.Onewaytoovercometheparagraph’slack ofunityistodivideitintotwoparts.Anotheristoexpandthetopicsentencetoincludeparents, e.g.,Underpresentlaw,smokingmarijuanacanhaveseriousconsequencesforbothyoungpeople andtheirparents. Ifthisweredone,however,theparagraphwouldneedfurtherdevelopment. 3.Theparagraphiscoherentexceptforsentence5,whichshouldbedeleted.Sentence2strongly supportsthetopicsentence(1).Theremainingsentences,except5,supportsentence2,whichisthe majorsupportingsentenceintheparagraph. 4.Althoughtheentireparagraphdiscussespoliticalparties,thediscussionisnotunified.Sentences 1–3dealwiththetwo-partysystem,whilesentences4–7areaboutdictatorships.Eitherdividethe paragraph,oraddatopicsentencethatjustifiesdiscussingbothtopicswithinasingleparagraph. 5.Sentence1isthetopicsentence.Sentence4isunrelatedtothetopicsentence.Deleteit. 6.Theparagraphismostlyunifiedandcoherent,althoughthetopicsentencewouldbemoreaccurate ifitmentionedthehumanqualitiesofporpoises. 7.Althoughtheopeningsentenceleadsthereadertothinkthatwhatfollowswillbeallabout RobinsonCrusoe,theparagraphisreallyabouttheauthorDanielDefoe.Toimprovethe coherenceoftheparagraph,deleteorrevisethemisleadingtopicsentence. 8.AlthoughtheentireparagraphisaboutGreekphilosophy,itisterriblydisjointed.Onlysentences 3and4connectwitheachother.Theothersareindependentthoughts,relatedinsubjectmatterbut notinstyle.Forcoherence,addatopicsentence,possiblyusingmaterialinsentence5.Thefact thatSocratestaughtPlato,whotaughtAristotlemightserveasstartingpointinrevisingthe paragraph. 9.Theparagraphiscoherentandunifieduntilthelastsentence.Deletesentence6,butiftheideais toogoodtodiscard,saveitforanotherplaceintheessayorrevisesentence1,thetopicsentence. 10.Theparagraphisunifiedandcoherent.Norevisionneeded. UsingTransitions Theseparagraphsonlyillustratetheuseoftransitions.Youranswerswillnodoubtbedifferent. 1.Togetonthegoodsideofateachertakespractice,butthetechniqueexplainedbelowalmost neverfails.Firstyoumusttrytocreatetheimpressionthatyouthink,say,Ms.Douglas,isthebest teacherintheworld.Youmustimmediatelychooseaseatthatisneartoherintheclassroom. Thenyoumustpretendtolistenintentlytohereverywordandnodyourheadasthoughyouagree witheverythingshesays.Next,smileather,laughatherjokes,andneverleavetheroomright afterclass.Soonafterthebell,askheraquestionaboutthelessonandthankherprofuselyfor takingthetimetoanswerit.Afterawhile,she’llthinkthatyouareanintelligent,highlymotivated studentandwithluckwillrewardyouhandsomelyonyourreportcard. 2.Somepeopleareboredwiththeirlives.Asaresult,theyseekoutdangeroussituationsinorderto getathrill.Accordingly,manymoviestuntmenachetoputtheirlivesinjeopardy.Asaresult,they volunteertocrashthroughwindows,falldownstairs,jumpfromhighplaces,drivecarsinto wallsandintoeachother.Asaconsequence,theyoftengethurt,buttheirworkismoreimportant tothemthantheirsafetyandwell-being.Hence,ittakesasortofmasochisttobeastuntman. 3.Becausemyfatherisanoptimistandmymotherapessimist,theyrespondtolifeindifferentways. Unlikemymother,myfatherisalwaysprettyupbeat,evenwhenhe’sworriedabouthisjob,about money,andaboutmeandmysister.Ontheotherhand,Momfretsabouteverylittlething,from theweather(it’sneverquiteright)todirtonthelivingroomrug(there’stoomuchofit).Inspite oftheirdifferences,DadandMomgetalongjustfine.Still,IpreferDad’swaybecauseit resemblesmine.Nevertheless,IcanseewhereMomiscomingfromandloveherallthesame. 4.It’stimetoreconsiderhowtheUnitedStatessquandersbillionsofdollarseveryyearonprobing Mars,Jupiter,andotherremoteplacesinouterspace.Becausemoneyisalsowastedonglitzy high-techtelescopesthatcanbringtheedgesoftheuniverseintoview,thegovernmentshould reevaluateitsentirespaceprogram.Inadditiontobeingamisuseofmoneythatissorelyneeded tosolveproblemshereontheEarth,studyingouterspacehasbeenlessfruitfulthanpredicted. Besidesfailingtoliveuptotheirpromise,so-calledsuccesseshavebeeneithermodestortotally irrelevant.What’smore,thecostofdevelopingtechnologyrequiredtomakeworthwhilejourneys eventotheclosestplanetsorasteroidsis,ifyou’llpardonthepun,“astronomical.”Equally importantisthat,giventhechoice,theAmericanpeoplewouldprefertoseetaxrevenuesusedto improvetheireverydaylives. UsingPreciseWording Answerswillvary.Thewordsinyoursentencesmaybeaspreciseasor evenmoreprecisethanthewordsinthesesamples. 1.Thebarn’srottedwallsbulged,itswindowswouldn’topen,andmosscoveredthesaggingroof. 2.Whenaccusedoflyingtothejury,thewitnessturnedbeetred,burstintotears,and,witheyes turnedtoheaven,asked,“Whatintheworldishappeningtome?” 3.Afterwinningtheelectionbya3to1margin,thesenatorgrinnedfromeartoearandtoldher supportersthatshewasreadytoworkintheirbehalf. 4.Molly’srewardforsixhoursatherdeskstudyingphysicswasabigfatFonthequiz. 5.Theseniorscelebratedtheirgraduationbutweptinside,realizingthattonightwasthelasttime theywouldeverbetogether. 6.Tomakeitontheswimteam,thebowlingteam,oranyotherteam,therearebutthreethingstodo: practice,practice,practice. 7.Atthewake,Gregwasstartledbythejovialityofthemourners,whorejoicedoverMr.O’Malley’s lifeinsteadoflamentinghisdeath. 8.InhighschoolLindararelywenttoclass,flunkedEnglishandmathinsummerschool,andfinally droppedoutaltogether. 9.TeddyandJoey,thefamily’stwins,neverwentoutatthesametimebecausetheysharedthesame pairofshoes. 10.Althoughthecurrenthadsmashedthecanoeagainsttherocks,Rodunhesitatinglyleapedintothe watertosavethedrowningchild. WritingComparisons Thecomparisonsthatyouwrotemaybeasgoodasorevenbetterthantheseexamples. A.1.ascomfortableasababyinitsmother ’sarms 2.astoughasawreckingball 3.asgorgeousasgold 4.assillyasputty 5.asseriousas9/11 6.asperfectasacircle 7.aswildasaleapingsalmon 8.asunpredictableasthelottery 9.asimpetuousasaflashoflightning 10.asreliableasasheepdog B.Schoolislikeanairport,aplaceonepassesthroughforthesolepurposeofgoingsomewhere else.Justasnoonegoestotheairportjusttobeattheairport,whowouldgotoschoolinorderto gotoschool.Instead,schoolisasteponetakeswhilepreparingforcollegeandforlife.One spendsacertainamountoftimethere,followstherules,doesthework,andthenescapeslikea travelerenroutetoAruba,orItaly,ortheFarEast.Similarly,attheairport,youmustobeythe rules:checkinatthecounter,haveyourphotoIDready,gothroughsecuritychecks,standinlines. Ifyoufailtofollowtheprescribedprocedure,troublecanfollow,delayingyourdeparture.Inthat sense,it’snodifferentfromschool,whereonemustdowhatisexpectedinordertograduateon time. VaryingSentences Theseareillustrativeanswersonly.Manyothervariationsarepossible. 1.Mr.Finnisagoodteacherbutherunstheclasslikeadictatorship.Democracyandfreedomhave noplaceinhisclass.Onthefirstdayheannouncedhisrules,amongthemnotalking,nogum chewing,nohatsinclass,nolateness.Ifyouarrivelate,youshouldexpecttofindthedoorlocked andtogotodetentionafterschool.Allhomeworkiscompulsory.Noonedarestocometoclass unpreparedbecauseagirlwhooncecametoclasswithoutherhomeworkturnedcolorsand almostweptafterMr.Finnloweredtheboomonher. 2.InthenumerousscienceclassesthatIhavetaken,wetalkedaboutexperimentsinsteadofdoing thembecausetheequipmentwasobsoleteandtoocostlytoreplace.Welearnedscientifictheories butcouldnotpracticetheminlabsorseethemdemonstrated.Togivestudentsabettereducation, thesciencedepartmentneedsmoney.Aboutamilliondollarswoulddo. 3.Bydumpinggarbage,sewage,andotherhazardouswasteproductsintothesea,manynationsare pollutingtheworld’soceans.Theyaremakingbeachesandswimmingdangerous.Toxic pollutantsalsotaintallformsofsealifewithmaterialsthathumansingestwheneatingfish, lobsters,clams,andotherseafood. 4.Theearthhasexperiencedasharpincreaseinnaturaldisasters,fromabout100peryearinthe 1960stofivetimesthatnumberintheearlypartofthetwenty-firstcentury.Earthquakes,droughts, hugestorms,andfloodsarenothappeningmorefrequently,however.Noraretheyoccurringwith greaterintensity.Rather,thepopulationoftheworldhasincreased.Peopleingreaternumbers nowoccupyareasthatarepronetonaturaldisasters,suchasfloodplains,coastallands,andcities builtonsubterraneanfaultlines.Theplanethasnotchangedbuthumanshave. 5.AlthoughtheAmericanDreamisapopularconcept,itmeansdifferentthingsfordifferentpeople. Mostcommonly,itmeansfindingagoodjob,gettingmarried,havingacoupleofkidsand owningahomewithawhitepicketfenceandatwo-cargarage.Somepeople,thinkingthatdream shallow,saythatthedreamwon’tbecompletewithoutagoodeducation,friends,afeelingof well-being,goodhealth,andaboveall,theblessingsofliberty,includingthefreedomofspeech andreligionandthefreedomtochoosetobepartofanuntraditionalfamilymadeupofsame-sex partnersoranyothercombinationofadultsandchildren. WritingConclusions Because every writer is different from every other, these answers are no more than possibilities for concludingthreedifferentessays. 1.Inagenerationorless,today’sprofanitymaybenodifferentfromtheeverydaylanguagein newspapers,ontelevision,andeveninessayslikethisone. 2.Somepeoplesucceedbecausetheyarelucky.Otherssucceedbecausetheyaremoretalentedor smarterthanthecompetition.Butsuccesscomestothevastmajoritybecausetheyhaveplanned howtosucceed.Whenasplitseconddeterminesthewinnerinarace,isitfairtosaythatthe second-placefinisherisnotasgoodasthewinner?No,butit’sacertaintythatthewinnerplanned hisracingstrategybetterthanthepersonwholost. 3.IfbymagicIhappenedtofindmyselfinjuniorhighagain,Iwouldn’trestuntilI’dmademy escape. IdentifyingMisplacedandDanglingModifiers Your answers needn’t be identical to these, but your sentences should be free of dangling and misplacedmodifiers. 1.ThepizzaIateaftercompletingmychemistryhomeworktastedgreat. 2.Denisediscoveredherboyfriendsoundasleepinthehammock. 3.Havingbeenusedallnighttoilluminatethesteps,theflashlightneedednewbatteries. 4.WhileIdrovedownthemountainroad,arocksmashedmywindshield. 5.WhenIstoppedtorestafteralonghike,agrizzlybearstoodinfrontofme. 6.Beforetheschoolbuspickedmeup,Iateaquickbreakfast. 7.Thepolicesubmittedareportaboutthebankrobbery. 8.HisfamilyemigratedfromRussiawhenSashawasten. 9.Wegavethedogabonewedidn’twant. 10.Leftaloneinthehouse,thechildwasterrifiedbyeverysound. IdentifyingParallelStructure Thesearesuggestedanswers.Otheranswersmayalsobecorrect. 1.andinspirational 2.wasaccusednotonlyofbeingabigotbutalsoofbeingtoostupid 3.andgonetofewerparties 4.preparingreports,andmakingvarioustypesoftelephonecalls 5.andtogetupearly 6.andshehadahabitofdisappearing 7.oracommercialartist 8.feltbothprideandsatisfaction 9.Correct 10.planstolivesimply 11.Thekidshadscatteredtheirbooksnotonlyalloverthebusbutalsoalloverthesidewalk. 12.haveagoodlocation,havelandaroundit,andenjoyaview 13.Joan’sbrokenyellowpencilcamefromthisbox. 14.howtofurnishanddecoratethehousesimply 15.neitherhaveamicrowaveinhisroomnortakeashowerafter11:00o’clock 16.andbeingmilesfromfriends 17.Themousewilleitherfindaquickwayintotheatticorgnawatthesidingfordays. 18.andentertaining 19.andajobinthesuburbs 20.thathe’lldefeatTominthesectionals,andthathe’llemerge UsingActiveVerbs Althoughyouranswerswilldifferfromthese,besurethatyoursentences,likethosehere,arefreeof lifelessverbs. 1.Theattackof9/11shockedmostAmericans. 2.NearlythreethousandpeoplediedinNewYorkCity. 3.Afterwards,acontroversyragedoverwhomtoblameforAmerica’svulnerabilitytoterrorism. 4.Effortstostrengthenhomelandsecuritybegan. 5.Somecitizensagreedtogiveuptheirrightsforthesakeofsecurity. 6.Peoplestrugglewiththedilemmaofhowmuchfreedomtogiveupforsecurity. 7.Theeventsof9/11ledtoasignificantwarinAfghanistan. 8.Wedressedinsweatshirtsandbaggypantswheneverwewentout. 9.Thepresenceofanall-Americanhighschoolplayerstirredupthecrowdatthebasketballgame. 10.Obviously,theaveragecollege-boundstudentneedsmoretraininginmathandscience. RevisingPassiveSentences Yoursentencesmaydifferfromthese,butbesureyou’veusedtheactivevoice. 1.Deadleavescoveredthebackyard. 2.WediscussedthecrisisintheMiddleEast. 3.IfailedFriday’squizbecauseIhadrehearsedfortheplayeverynightthatweek. 4.WebeganourweeklongvacationinOregonbyflyingtoPortland. 5.CaptainAhabandhiscrewpursuedthegreatwhitewhale. 6.Fidofetchesthenewspapereverymorning. 7.Thepresidentandhisadvisorsdecidedtogotowar. 8.OnFridaynight,morethantwentycustomerstookoutdinners. 9.Inthreedays,ourgroupsawfiveShakespeareanplays. 10.Beforeyoudosomethingphysical,thebodynormallycallsonthebrain. TrimmingNeedlessWords PARTA Answers will vary. Be sure that your version of each sentence approximates the meaning of the original. 1.PeterJenkinswroteAWalkAcrossAmerica,abookabouthiscross-countrywalk.Topreparefor thetrek,hewalkedtwenty-fivemilesaday. 2.Mysuggestionformakingmeetingsmoreproductiveandrelevanttoallstudentsneedn’toffend thechairperson,CarolynWelles. 3.InspiteoflowEnglishgradesandpoorwritingskills,Mollywaselectedtobetheeditorofthe yearbook. 4.Somekindsofcriticismhelppeoplecopewithproblems;otherkindstearpeopledowninsteadof offeringhelp. 5.Byvisitinghistoricplaces,Americanslearnwhatisimportanttoknowabouttheircountry. PARTB Avoidingdiscriminationisbutoneofmanyreasonsforpeopletogainweight,accordingtoStanford UniversitygraduateSlimSnyder,who,atarecentconferenceonhealth,said“Leanpeoplearevictims ofdiscrimination,justasobesepeopleare.”Fortunately,manyup-to-dateweight-gainingprocedures are available to everyone. But they are ridiculed and kept well hidden because health experts agree thatbeingleanispreferabletobeingobese. ShowingInsteadofTelling Answerswillvary.Checkyoursentencesforspecificdetailsthatshowratherthantell. 1.WheneverMikeentersaroom,heduckshisheadtoavoidhittingthetopofthedoorway. 2.Hersenseofaccomplishmentgrewwitheveryhandshakeandpatontheback.Asherfaceached fromgrinningsohard,sheknewthatshe’dbebacknextyeartowinagain. 3.Onthesaggingfloorstoodarustedironstove,aspinningwheel,andabrokenrockingchair. 4.Thesmellofsaltspray,seaweed,andsunblockfilledSuzanne’snostrils. 5.Duringthelesson,fourkidsinthebackplayedpoker,anothersmokedpotinthecorner,whilethe restoftheclasseitherwisecrackedwitheachother,appliedmakeup,orputtheirheadsdownand snoozed. 6.Thepioneersleftbehindatrailofgravesiteswheredeadchildrenandadultshadbeenhurriedly buried. 7.Thecabinwaseverythingthatwouldgivemostpeoplethecreeps:dark,damp,chipped,rotting, fullofholes,drafty,leakyandsagging—acelebrationofneglect. 8.Theairwasfilledwithbluesmokethatreddenedoureyesandmadesomeofusdizzyandgasping forair. 9.Theendofthespeechbroughtthecrowdtoitsfeetforfifteenminutesofapplauseandcheering. 10.MaryJane’smotherinsiststhatvisitorsenteringherhousetakeofftheirshoesandbecheckedfor fleas. UsingPunctuation PARTA.POSSESSIVES 1.Paul’s 2.America’s 3.Correct 4.women’s 5.girls’,boys’ 6.Andersons’,Year ’s 7.Correct 8.Morris’s 9.computers’ 10.months’ PARTB.COMMASANDSEMICOLONS 1.WhileBillwasriding,hisbikegotaflattire. 2.Themailcarrierdidnotleavethepackage,forValeriewasnotathome. 3.AfterdoinghishomeworkMikey,asyoumightexpect,talkedonhiscellphoneforanhour. 4.Hisworkcriticizedmanycommonlyheldbeliefs,however,anditwasstrictlycensored. 5.ThecarthatranintomineattheintersectionwasanSUV. 6.DadwenttotheairporttopickupDave;ElliewenttothetrainstationtomeetDebbie. 7.Correct 8.Theboatwasseventy-fivefeetlongandeighteenfeetwide;itsmastwasabouteightyfeettall. 9.Toanyoneinterestedinflying,planesholdendlessfascination. 10.JeffandSteve,leftalonefortheweekend,invitedalltheirfriendstoaparty. 11.IneedstreetmapsofBostonandPortland,Maine. 12.Someofthetheoriesdealtwiththepolitical,social,andreligiousideasofthetime. 13.Studentswhowanttotryoutforthechorushavebeenaskedtoreporttoroom330. 14.Doug,forexample,isbothascholarandanathlete. 15.MonicarefusedtogounlessPhilwentwithher. 16.Theheroofthebook,JohnCoffey,rodehisbikeacrosstheUnitedStates. 17.Afterall,shedidforhimwhatshecould. 18.StartinginMinnesota,theMississippirunsallthewaytotheGulfofMexico. 19.HaroldWatkins,whocomesfromChicago,wonafulltuitionscholarshiptoDuke. 20.Althoughthecharactersarestereotypes,theywereinterestingtoreadabout. 21.Yo-YoMa,thefamouscellist,willperformarecitalonSaturdaynight. 22.ThistestcoversSpanishliterature,culture,andhistory,anditlastsforthreehours. 23.Michelleispretty,tall,anddark,butheroldersisterNormaispretty,short,andlight. 24.Sean,thetwinbrotherofIan,wasstruckbyafallingtreelimb. 25.Thewindowwasherdroppedbylastevening,buthedidn’tbringhissqueegee. ApplyingCapitalization 1.OnLaborDayBenningtonCounty’sfiredepartmentplanstoholdaturkeyshootonthefieldat Miller ’sPond. 2.ThejudgegaveDistrictAttorneyLipmanabookentitledTheRulesofEvidenceandinstructedher toreaditbeforesheeverdaredsetfootintheCourtofAppealsoftheNinthCircuitagain. 3.ThesecretaryofstategreetedthepresidentofAustriaattheRonaldReaganAirportin Washington,D.C. 4.TheShackletonexpeditionnearlymetitsdoomonGeorgiaIslandinAntarctica. 5.ForChristmashegotaBlack&DeckertablesawfromtheSearsstorenexttotheoldBedford Courthouse. 6.AccordingtoGeorgetown’shighschoolprincipal,EugeneGriffiths,GeorgetownHighSchool attractsstudentsfromthewholewestcoast.AtGeorgetownstudentsmaymajorindrawingand painting,design,graphics,orsculpture.Mr.Griffithssaid,“Iattendedasimilarhighschoolin NewEnglandjustaftertheVietnamWar.” 7.WeexpecttocelebrateNewYear ’sEveagainthisyearbyorderingamovieofanoldBroadway musicalfromNetflixandsettlingdowninfrontoftheDVDplayerwithsomePepsiandaboxof Oreos. 8.AftertravelingallthewaytothePacific,theCorpsofDiscoveryrodedowntheMissouriRiver goingeastontheirwaybacktoSt.Louis. 9.ThisIrishlinentableclothwasboughtatKmartintheEmeryvilleMalloffPowellStreet. 10.YellowstoneNationalParkislocatedinthenorthwestcornerofWyoming. PARTIV YOUBETHEUMP:ESSAYSFOREVALUATION •SATEssayReaders:WhatTheyDoandHowTheyDoIt •EssayScores:WhattheNumbersTellYou •SampleSATEssayQuestionsandStudentResponses •EssayTopicsforPractice HowEssaysAreJudgedandGraded Your essay will be evaluated on a scale of 6 (best) to 1 (worst). Evaluators are trained to read the essays quickly, or holistically. That is, they’ll avoid the “Gotcha! Syndrome”—hunting down every littleerror.Rather,they’llreadforanoverallimpressionofyourwriting.Knowingthatyouressay has been composed in under half an hour, they won’t hold minor mistakes against you and won’t deductacertainamountforeveryerroringrammar,spelling,andpunctuation. Naturally,anessaythat’smostlycorrectwillmakeabetterimpressionthanonethat’sfullof mistakes.Likeotherreaders,evaluatorsenjoygoodwritinganddelightinthoughtful,neatlyphrased ideas.Theyabhoremptyplatitudesandknowinaninstantwhenawriteristhrowingthebull. TIP SATreaderswon’tholdminormistakesagainstyou. Evaluatorswillapproachyouressaywithapositivemindset,preparedtorewardyouforwhat you’vedonewell.Whenreadingyouressay,they’llcompareittootheressayswrittenonthesame topicatthesametime.Youressay,inotherwords,won’tbecompetingagainstsomeidealessay writtenbyaprofessionalauthor. Handwritingisnotsupposedtocountintheevaluation.Butthinkaboutthis:Ifreadershavetrouble decipheringyourpenmanship,severalthingscanhappen.Frustrationmaycausethemtobe unfavorablydisposedtowardtheessay.Theywon’tgiveyouthebenefitofthedoubtaboutspellingor grammarifthelettersaremalformedordifficulttoread.Whenreadersareforcedtostopregularly topuzzleoutthewords,yourflowofideaswillbeinterrupted—withadverseeffects.Unreadable essayswillbegivennocreditatall.Atthisstageinyourlife,itmaybedifficulttochangeyour penmanship.Butifyouknowthatteachersandothershaveaprobleminterpretingyourscript,tryto slowdownasyouformtheletters,orasalastresort,printclearly.Formostpeopleprintingisslower thancursivewriting,butwithpracticeyoucanincreaseyourspeed. GUIDELINESFOREVALUATION Essaysarescoredonascaleof6to1. PerformanceCateg ories Outstanding VeryGood Good Fair Poor VeryPoor Score 6 5 4 3 2 1 Scoresof4,5,and6reflectalevelofproficiencyinwritingappropriateforfirst-yearcollege students.Essaysrated1,2,or3suggestaneedforremediation.(Ablankpaperorapapersubmitted onatopicunrelatedtothepromptwillberatedzero.) NolistofstandardscanincludeeverythingthatSATreadersconsiderwhentheyevaluateanessay, butthefollowingdescriptionslistthemaincriteria.Readersarehuman.Theytrytobeobjective,but theymuststillmakejudgments.Anessayassignedascoreof5byonereader,therefore,maynotbe vastlysuperiortoanessaygivena4byanother. ScoringGuidelines 6Outstanding 5VeryGood 4Good 3Fair 2Poor 1VeryPoor Anoutstandingessayisawell-conceived,orderly,andinsightfultreatment of the assigned task. The writer has fashioned a convincing main idea, amply supported by appropriate and specific details. The point of view, wordchoice,anduseofsentencesdemonstrateanabilitytocontrolawide range of elements of composition. Any errors that occur are inconsequential.Overall,theworkisamodelofclarityandsophistication. Averygoodessaydemonstratesthewriter ’sfirmgraspoftheassignment.It developsthemainideawithpurposeandconvictionbutmaybesomewhat lessthoroughandinsightfulthanthebestessays.Italsomayfallshortofthe mastery, sophistication, and control of composition exemplified by an outstanding essay. Nevertheless, its organization is sensible, its language andusageareappropriate,anditsoverallintentisclearandconsistent. Agoodessaydealswiththetopiccompetently.Itusesconventionallanguage andsentencestructureandprovidessomeappropriatespecificexamplesto support the main idea. It gives evidence of the writer ’s acquaintance with essayorganization,coherence,andparagraphdevelopment.Someerrorsin word choice and awkward expression may exist, but no error seriously interfereswithmeaning. Afairessaysuggestsmediocrityinwriting.Itmayadequatelyrespondtothe prompt but gives evidence of an inconsistent control of the elements of composition. Although the essay has a recognizable structure, the organizationmaybeconfusingornotfullyrealized.Inaccuraciesorlapses in logic may weaken the essay’s overall effect. Occasional mechanical errors may detract from the essay’s meaning although they don’t necessarilyobliteratecommunication. A poor essay indicates a superficial or weak grasp of the prompt. The essay’sdevelopmentismeager,anditstreatmentofthesubjectisimprecise and unconvincing. The point of the essay may be perceptible, but the presentation of ideas is characterized by faulty word choice, flawed sentences,andincoherentorconfusedorganization. A very poor essay reveals the writer ’s inability to interpret the prompt. It may wander off the topic or include irrelevant or simplistic ideas. It may alsobeexcessivelybrieforundeveloped.Theprosemaylackorganization, coherence, and meaning. The writer shows little evidence of control of sentencestructureortherulesofusageandgrammar. ESSAYSFOREVALUATION Asyoupreparetowriteanessay,readthefollowingresponsesthatotherstudentswroteonSATessay topics.Thenreviewtheexplanationsofhowscoresweredetermined. Theessayswerecompletedintwenty-fiveminutesinatestingsituation.Theyareuneditedand typedexactlyaswritten.Readthemquickly,spendingnomorethanthreeorfourminutesoneach. Thenyoubetheump.MakeacalloneachofthemusingtheSATscaleof1to6.Writeyour observationsinthespaceprovidedforcomments.ThencompareyourviewswiththoseoftheSAT readerswhoactuallyscoredthesameessay.Becausenotwopeoplearelikelytoagreeonevery detail,yourevaluationwillprobablydifferfromthoseofthepros.Nevertheless,yourobservations maybeequallyvalidandperceptive.Whatcountsmorethanthesimilaritybetweenyourcomments andthoseofSATreadersistheoverallimpressionleftbyeachpieceandthescoreyougaveit.If yourscoresdiffergreatlyfromthescoresassignedbySATreaders,carefullyexaminewhattrained readerslookforinanessay.Thenkeepthosecriteriainmindasyouplanandwriteessaysofyour own. PromptforEssay#1 Thinkabouttheviewsexpressedinthefollowingpassage: “WANTTOGETAHEAD?TRYLYING,”saysaheadline,withtheideathatbyalwaystelling thetruth,orbytellingtoomuchtruth,weputourselvesatadisadvantage. Stephen Lim tells the following story: “Working my way through school, I delivered special deliverymailfortheU.S.PostalService.Eachmorningthedispatcherhandeddriversapileof letters and packages. Before starting our route, we recorded the number of stops we had to make. While the other drivers padded their figures, I didn’t. This made me look bad in comparison,loweringthesupervisor ’sopinionofmyperformance.” Stephen paid a minor penalty for telling the truth. But others can suffer more serious consequences for being honest. Consider a few: Because they don’t cheat on assignments and tests to boost their grades, some students fail to get into the college of their choice. Job applicantsdon’tsucceedingettingacovetedpositionbecausetheyrefusetopadtheirrésumés. “In a nutshell, it’s harder and harder to be an honest person in today’s society,” says Stephen Lim. “After a while, you feel like a jerk when other people are getting ahead by taking shortcuts.” AdaptedfromStephenLim,“TellingtheTruth—DoesItPay?” PlainTruth,May/June,2001 Assignment: If everyone else cheats or lies to get ahead, is it foolish or shortsighted to be totally honest?Planandwriteanessaythatdiscussesyourpointofviewontheissue.Supportyourposition withevidenceandreasoningdrawnfromyourstudies,reading,experience,orobservation. Wanda’sEssay Manypeoplefallpreytolyingmainlybecauseitissoeasytodo.Itinvolvesnophysicallabor,no strenuousactivity,noexpenses,andnospecialskills.Allyouhavetodoisopenyourmouthandlet thewordsfallout. Lyingisamajorpartofgettingajobyouarenottotallyqualifiedfor.Youwriteupanicelittle resuméwithallthedetailsofyourlife,mostofwhichdon’tpertaintothejobatall,suchas,for instance,yourmaritalstatusorthatyouwontheNobleSerfAwardineleventhgrade,anawardthat youinventrightonthespot.Justincaseyouareaskedduringtheinterviewwhattheawardwasfor, youpreparealieaheadoftime,maybesomethinglikeit’sanawardforintegrity,forbeingan extremelyhonestandtrustworthyperson.Also,youmightnothavequiteenoughexperienceforthe jobyouaretryingtoget.Soyoufabricatealittlemoretoshowthatyouareusedtohardworkand responsibility.Afterall,what’stheharminshadingthetruthalittle? Whileit’struethatyourlieswillhavenoimmediateeffect,whatwillhappenifyouremployer checksonyou,whenheorshefindsoutthatthereisnosuchthingastheNobleSerfAward,andthat youwerenottheassistantmanagerofthesupermarketatallbutjustalackeywhoretrievedshopping cartsfromtheparkinglot?Thisiswhenyoumustfacetheconsequencesofyour“harmless”little lies.Ifyouarecaughtlying,afteryourfacegoesbacktoitsnormalcolor,youwillmostlikelybe lookingforanotherjob. Doesthatmeanit’sokaytolieaslongasyoudon’tgetcaught?Nothingcouldbefartherfromthe truthbecausetheeffectsoflyingcanbemoreserious.Ifyouclaimcreditforsomethingthatisnot yoursandyouhurtsomebody,thenyouhavecrossedovertheline.Youhavebecomenotonlyaliar butathief,andyouhavelostyourintegrity.Orevenworseifsomeonecausespaintoothersbecause heorshebelievesinalieyou’vetold,theconsequencescanbeverysevere.Recentlytherewasamale nursewholiedhiswayintojobsinseveralhospitals,andwhereverhewentthedeathrateofpatients rosedramatically.Foralongtimenoonenoticedthecorrelationbetweenhimandthedeathrate,but bythetimeitwasdiscovered,hehadleftatrailofdozensofinnocentvictims. Whilethismaybeanextremecase,itstillillustratesthatlying,eventhoughitmaybeaseasyas breathing,canleadtoveryharmfulresults. The first reader commented: “This essay combines a serious message with a bit of sophisticated humor.Thelighttouchisatributetothewriter’slevelofmaturity.Theexamplessheusestosupport thethesisarewell-writtenandsufficientlydetailed.Theoverallpresentationislively,interesting,and virtuallyerror-free.” Score:6 Thesecondreadercommented:“Athoughtfulandinsightfulpieceofwriting,thisessaydeservesthe highest rating. The sequence of paragraphs is particularly apt: The first two paragraphs show that lying is prevalent because ‘it is so easy.’ Just how easy is wittily illustrated in the story of the fabricated résumé. The third paragraph discusses minor pitfalls of lying, but the fourth takes up its potential for disastrous, life-altering consequences. After presenting an example of compelling evidence—a homicidal nurse—in the last paragraph the writer draws the only possible conclusion: Lying‘canleadtoveryharmfulresults.’ “Throughouttheessay,thewritermaintainsaconsistenttone,demonstratesskillintheuseof interesting,livelylanguage,andproveshermasteryoftheelementsofcomposition.” Score:6 Vinnie’sEssay Irecentlynoteabumperstickerthatstated,“Wanttogetahead?TryLying.”Iassumedthismessage wasthatpeoplewhoalwaystellthetrutharelikehandicappedbecausethetruthisagainstthemand theyaredoomedtofail.Iponderedtheideaforawhileandrealizedhowridiculousthestatementis. WhileIthinkbackonmyownlife,IrealizedthateverytimeIhavetriedtolieIgotcaught.Once, onemorningIwasveryyoungItoldmyparentsthatIwastoosicktogotoschoolwhenthetruthwas thatIwasafraidofabullyinthegradeaheadofmewhothreatenedtobeatmeup.Inowrealizethat theyknewIwaslying.Myfatherwantedmetogotothedoctortogetchecked,ItoldhimthatIbetter notgo,orthedoctorwouldcatchmyillness.Myfatherandmotherbegantolaughandproceededto dressmeforschool. Anothertime,Iwasin8thgradeItoldmyparentsthatIwasgoingovertomyfriendSam’shouse onaFridaynightwhenIactuallywantedtogobowlingwithsomefriendsthatmyparentsdidn’t approveof.Lyingaboutitcouldenablemetostayoutlater.ThenextdaymyparentsfoundoutthatI hadlied,IthinktheymetSam’sparentsatthemovieswheretheyhadapuzzledlookaboutmybeing overattheirhouse.Whenthetruthcameout,Iwasgroundedforamonth. Therearemanyothertimeswhenmyattemptsatlyingbackfiredinmyface.It’snotalways possibletotellthewholetruth,butwheneverItelllittlewhiteliesorshadethetruth,Ithinkofthat bumperstickerandwonderifthepersonwhowroteithadeverliedinhislife. Thefirstreadercommented:“Thisessayislivelyandquitereadable.Twoexamplesthatdevelopthe mainideaarepertinentbuttheydon’tprovethewriter’sassertionthathegotcaught‘everytime’he told a lie. The piece is unified in theme and tone, and its reference to a bumper sticker at the end cleverly reminds the reader where the essay began. Lapses in verb tense and in expression keep the essayfromearningabetterrating.” Score:4 The second reader commented: “The writer of this adequate essay takes the position that it is ‘ridiculous’ to depend on lies to get ahead in life. Citing two personal experiences from his earlier life,heshowsthatlies‘backfiredinmyface,’awell-meantbutawkwardlyexpressedimage. “Theessayisorganizedintocoherentparagraphs.Wordchoiceisappropriateandthesentence structureissufficientlyvaried,exceptforthefirstparagraph,inwhicheverysentencebeginswiththe samesubject(‘I’).Afewsentenceerrorssuchascommasplicesandrun-onsdetractfromtheoverall qualityoftheessay.Afewminorcorrectionsmighthaveliftedthescoretoa4,butasis,theessay doesn’tquitemakeit.” Score:3 Marylou’sEssay “Wanttogetahead?Trylying”isdescribedasatruestatementinoursocietytoday.Usuallygood thingshappenwhenpeopledon’tlie,buttodayitismorelikelythatgoodthingswillhappentopeople whorefrainfromtellingthetruth. Forexample,inoursocietyinsidertradingtipsinthestockmarketcanmakeaninvestorpayoff fasterthananotherinvestorwhoisplayingbytherules.Anotherexampleofhowthisstatementis correctiswhenapersonisapplyingforajob.Heusuallytriestoexaggerate,inotherwords,lying, ontheirrésumésothathewillbeamoreenticingemployee.Ifhetoldthetruthhemightnotbehired asreadily. Lyingmaygetapersonahead,buttheymustalsolivewithaconscious.Perhapsinthelongrunit isn’tworthitbecausehewillhavetofacethefactthatthereasonheis“ahead”isbecausehelied.He didnot“getahead”basedonskillsorknowledgebutonthelie. Severelyingisconsideredapsychologicaldisease,likeaddiction,theyevenliewhenhereisno reason.Dependencyonlyingcanbecuredbytherapy. The first reader commented: “In this essay the main idea is developed somewhat haphazardly. In general,thewritingisinept—crowdedwithusageerrors.Thethirdparagraphcontradictstheearlier statementthat‘goodthingshappentopeoplewhorefrainfromtellingthetruth.’Althoughtheessay shows evidence of an ample vocabulary, its expression is awkward, and the last paragraph seems totallyirrelevant.” Score:2 Thesecondreadercommented:“Thispiecesuggestsonlyalimitedmasteryofcomposition.Starting with a puzzling and pointless assertion that the quotation ‘is described as a true statement in our society’(bywhom?onewonders),thewritergeneralizesthat‘goodthingswillhappentopeople’who lie.Insupportofthisgeneralization,thewriterofferstwoweak,underdevelopedexamplesofpeople whoseliespaidoff.Then,thethirdparagraphundercutstheessay’smainideawithabriefdiscussion of liar’s guilt. Still more of a puzzle is the last paragraph, which contains matters unrelated to anythingthatcamebefore.” Score:2 PromptforEssay#2 Thinkcarefullyabouttheissuepresentedinthefollowingstatement: Fatalistsbelievethatwemustacceptthingsastheyare,thatnothingcanbedonetochangethe world for the better. Martin Luther King had such people in mind when he remarked, “The hottestplaceinHellisreservedforthosewhoremainneutralintimesofgreatmoralconflict.” MayaAngelouadded,“Ifyoudon’tlikesomething,changeit.”AndPhyllisDiller,puttingitstill anotherway,said,“Nevergotobedmad.Stayupandfight.” Assignment:Thefirststepinmakingthingsbetteristorecognizethataproblemexists.Pleaseplan andwriteanessayinwhichyouidentifyaschool,local,national,orworldconditionorflawthat,in youropinion,needstobecorrected,andexplainwhyyouchoseit. Max’sEssay Atrendthesedaysistospeakupabouttheworld’smistreatmentoftheenvironment.Iamnotjusta treehuggerbysayingthatwithoutimprovementinenvironmentalconditions,mygenerationandthe futuregenerationswillsufferinwaystooawfultoevenimagine.Attheendofthedayyoucansaythe survivalofmankindis“hanginginthebalance.” ManycountriesexploittheEarth’sresources.Insomecountries,millionsofacresofrainforestare beingdestroyedeveryyeartomakeroomforfarmlandortocutlumbertoexport.Notonlydoesthis destroythehabitatsofmanyanimals,butkillsspeciesoftreesandplantsthatmaysomedaybefound tocurecancer,AIDS,MS,orotherdiseases.Inaddition,rainforestsproducethemajorityofthe oxygenthatweneedtolive.Thebottomlineisthatbyclear-cuttingrainforests,wearebeginningto suffocateourselvestodeath. Othernationsexploittheoceans.Bydumpinggarbage,sewageandotherhazardouswasteintothe oceans,theypollutethewater.Eventually,thegarbagewashesbackonshore,makingthebeaches filthyandswimmingdangerous.Thepollutantsalsokillandtaintthefishintheoceanwithtoxic materials.Thenweendupeatingthesefish,andthetoxinsenterourbodies.ManypeopleIknowhave givenupeatingtunafishforthereasontheydon’twanttoputpoisonousmercuryintotheirbodies. Anotherwaytheenviromentisabusedisthetreatmentoftheatmosphere.UntilthefamousKyoto Treaty,mostcountrieshadnolawscontrollingtheamountofharmfulgasesreleasedbycarsand trucksthatcausesglobalwarming.Somecountriesstilldon’thavesuchlaws,andin2001underthe Bushadministration,theUnitedStateswithdrewfromtheKyotoagreements.Ithinkthatgovernments aroundtheworld,includingtheUSofAneedstoforcethecorporationstoreducetheirburningof fossilfuelsinordertocleantheatmosphereandstopthetrendtoglobalwarming. Thesearejustafewwayswhichtheworldabusestheenvironment.Whenallissaidanddone,all peoplemustdotheirparttoleavetheworldabetterplacefortheirchildrenandgrandchildren. The first reader commented: “Max’s essay is very well focused, admirably organized, and clearly presented. He develops examples of environmental issues fully and appropriately. While not always gracefully expressed, Max’s presentation is consistently informative and detailed. It reveals a high levelofproficiencyandsolidcontroloftheessay-writingprocess.” Score:6 The second reader commented: “Although this conventional five-paragraph ‘formula’ essay is competentlywritten,itisnotterriblyinspired.Thewriteriswell-informedonthesubject,butherarely transcendstheenvironmentalmovement’scustomarytalkingpoints.Indeed,theimpactoftheessayis considerablydilutedbythewriter’srelianceonclichéssuchas‘hanginginthebalance,’‘attheendof theday,’‘thebottomline,’andothers.Nevertheless,theessayismostlyerror-free,anditsorganization andvariedsentencestructuredemonstratereasonablyconsistentmasteryoftheartofwriting.” Score:5 Tracy’sEssay Theworldisanimperfectplacewithmany,manyproblemstosolve.IfIcouldhelpsolveoneof them,Iwouldfocusonmyhighschool.TherearecountlessimprovementstobemadebecauseFHS doesnotmeettheneedsofeveryonewhogoeshere. Onethingwrongwiththisschoolisthatthereisnotenoughleewayforustotakealltheclassesthat wewant.Forexample,ifsomeoneistakingamusicclassandalsowantstotakeartitisimpossible withoutdroppingarequiredcourse,suchasPhysicalEducation.Gymtakesupsomuchofourschool week.Physicalexerciseisimportantbutthereshouldbeabetterschedulingofclassessowecanstudy thethingswereallywantto. AnothercriticismIhaveaboutthisschoolisthewaycertainclassesoperate.Therearemany unnecessaryrules,andmanyteacherstreatstudentslikeinfantswhichneedbasicinstructions.They spendtoomuchtimeoninanethingslikehandinginhomeworkontime,gettingtoclassontime,a neatnotebook,andacoveronyourtextbooksinsteadofconcentratingonthemoreimportantissues suchasmakingsurethatstudentsgettheinformationandtheexperiencetheyneedforagood educationandforcollege.Ifteacherscouldmaketherulesasagiven,andtrustthestudents,they mightbeabletogetabetterattitudeback. Studentsgotohighschoolonetimeintherelives.Theresuccessdependsongettingthebest possibleeducationthatFHSdoesnotprovide. Thefirstreadercommented:“Thefirstparagraphclearlystatestheessay’spurpose.Thewriterthen choosestwoexcellentexamplestoillustrateproblemsatherhighschool.Buttheseproblemsareonly looselytiedtothemainideathattheschoolfailstomeeteveryone’sneeds.Thedevelopmentofideasis detailed, the highlight being Tracy’s description in the third paragraph of teachers’ preoccupation with ‘inane’ matters that waste instructional time. The third paragraph of the essay refers to the students’attitudetowardtheirteachers.Unfortunately,eitherbecausesheranoutoftimeorforgotto explain,thereferenceleavesthereaderinthelurch,wishingtoknowwhyTracymentionedit.Tracy’s useoflanguageisrarelyinterestingandalmostconsistentlyawkward.Minorlapsesingrammarand usageweakentheeffort.Inall,theessayshowsmodestevidenceofTracy’spromiseasawriter.” Score:4 The second reader commented: “Although the writer claims that her school fails to ‘meet needs of everyone,’ the essay hardly deals with the school’s failure to satisfy a diverse student population. Instead,thewriterusestheessaytoairgripesaboutherownexperience.Thesecondparagraphseems togrowoutofdisappointmentoverherchoiceofclasses,andthethirdparagraphisusedtocomplain aboutanoverabundanceoftrivialrulesin‘certain’unidentifiedclasses.Ineffect,then,thebulkofthe essayfailstoliveuptoitspromise.” Score:3 Iliana’sEssay ThewayIwouldmakethingsbetterisindivorce.Eventhoughyoucan’ttaste,touchorsmell divorce,youcanstillfeelit.Divorceisaconditionwhichmanychildrenhavebeenmadeto understandbybitterexperience,divorcehasforcedtheprogenyofbrokenmarriagestosuffer.“The hottestplacesinHell”thatDr.Kingtalksaboutshouldbereservedforparentswhoabandontheir childrensotheycanbedivorced. Whydopeoplegetmarriedandrepeatvowssuchas“untildeathusdopart,”iftheyendupending theirrelationship?Where’sthelogicinthis?nottomentiontheirchildrensuffering.Whilemanyof theirfriendsareenteringthethreeleggedcontestatfamilypicnics,theyendupsharingchickenpot piewithoneoftheirparents.Thismaysoundextremeforalldivorcesdon’tendupthisway.However therearemorethatdo. Institutionssuchaschurchesandsynogoguesshouldn’tallowpeopletobe“joinedinmatrimony” Ifthepeopledon’tseemrightforeachother.Can’ttheLordgivethepriestorrabiasign?Ifitis againstantireligiontoseparatefromyourmate,whydoestheLordallowsuchthings?Doesn’tthe divinebeingknowwhetheramanandawomanwouldremainmarriedornot? Divorceisalmostasdifficultasmarriage.Thefusionoftwopeoplemayseemtobeoneof success,howeverwhenthe“lawfullywedded”couplesplits,thefissionisoneofdisaster. Thefirstreadercommented:“There’sagooddealofpassioninthisessay,aqualitythatmakesthe essayquitereadable,butthewriter’sdeepfeelingstendtointerferewiththeclarityofitsmessage.The second paragraph, for instance, suffers from disjointedness, in particular it’s allusion to a ‘threeleggedrace.’Thethirdparagraphincludesquestionsaboutthenatureofasupremebeingthatseem outofplaceinwhatismeanttobeadiscussionofproblemsrelatedtodivorce. “Theessayissoundlyorganized,andalthoughthemeaningofsomeideasisfuzzy,abitofthe language—thefission/fusiondichotomy,forexample—revealsacreativeflair. Despitethesemerits,theflawsintheessayoutweighitsstrengths.” Score:3 The second reader commented: “This piece demonstrates marginal mastery of the essay-writing process.Ilianaopenswithadirect,althoughsomewhatawkward,statementofintent:‘ThewayIwould makethingsbetterisindivorce,’butshefailstoofferevidenceinsupportofthisidea.Instead,she uses the essay to lament the consequences of divorce, quite possibly stemming from her own experienceasachildofdivorce,althoughshedoesn’tsayso. “Ilianaraisesworthwhileissuesaboutmarriageanddivorceinthesecondparagraph,andinthe thirdparagraphasksprofoundquestionsabouttheroleofreligioninmarriage.Butherprogressionof ideaslacksconsistency.Instead,sheemploysakindofstreamofconsciousness,apparentlyspilling ontothepageideasastheyoccurtoher.” Score:3 PromptforEssay#3 Thinkcarefullyabouttheissuepresentedinthefollowingpassage: Themoonbelongstoeveryone Thebestthingsinlifearefree, Thestarsbelongtoeveryone Theygleamthereforyouandme. TheflowersinSpring, Therobinsthatsing, Thesunbeamsthatshine They’reyours, They’remine! Andlovecancometoeveryone, Thebestthingsinlifearefree. “TheBestThingsinLifeAreFree,”songandlyricsbyB.G.DeSylva, LewBrown,andRayHendersonforthemusicalGoodNews. Assignment. Please plan and write an essay in which you discuss the validity of the sentiment expressedbythelyricsofthesong,“TheBestThingsinLifeAreFree.”Supportyourpositionwith evidenceandreasoningdrawnfromyourstudies,reading,experience,orobservation. Tucker’sEssay Theideathat“thebestthingsinlifearefree”isnothingexceptsentimentalgarbage,okayfora musicalshowbutjustafantasyoraself-delusioninreality.Nowalmosteverythingcostsmoney,and evenifyoudon’thavetotakeoutyourVisacardandpayforitthenandthere,therearehiddencosts thatcan’treallybecalculated. Take,forexample,anordinarywalkintheparkwithafavoritegirl,guy,ordog.Sureit’sfreeto entertheparkandstrollalong.Noout-of-pocketexpensesthere,butthinkofallthatitcoststohave thatwalk.Foronething,thereisclothesandfootgear.Thereistheneedfortransportationtothepark andhomeagain,andtheneedtobeabletocontactafriendbyphoneoremailtoarrangethewalk.Just livinginaplacethathasaparktowalkinalsocostsmoney—intaxes,rent,mortgages,andthe regularexpensesofmaintainingadecentlifestyle. Okay,walkingintheparkmaybeatrivialexample.Howaboutsomethingmoreprofound?What mostpeoplevalueaboveallelseisfreedom—notjustthefreedomsgrantedintheBillofRightsbut thefreedomtobewhatwecanbe,thefreedomtoloveandassociatewithwhoweplease,thefreedom toliveinasafeenvironment,freefromviolenceandharm,freedomtogotoschoolorgoanyplace atanytimewithoutworryingaboutthegovernmentwatchingorbreathingdownyourneck,andeven thefreedomtohelpothersgaintheirfreedomliketheU.S.hasbeenattemptinginAfghanistanand Iraqatthecostofbillionsandbillionsofdollars,nottospeakoftheexpenseofdeathandhuman suffering. Itwouldbenicetobelievethatthebestthingsinlifearefree,butonlytheblissfullyignorantcould reallybelieveit.Whoeversaidthere’snosuchthingasafreelunchknewwhattheyweretalking about. The first reader commented: “Tucker’s opening statement hooks the reader instantly and clearly articulates the essay’s insight that everything has ‘hidden costs that can’t really be calculated.’ The paragraphsthatfollowamplifyandexplainthecosts,firstofsomethingmundaneandordinarylikea walk in the park, and then something abstract, namely the price of freedom. The paragraph about freedom, however, fails to discuss the costs other than those incurred by helping other countries achieveameasureoffreedom. “Inspiteofthislapse,theprogressionofideastestifiestoahighlevelofcriticalthinking.Tucker alsoprovidesevidenceofhismasteryofwritingwithvariedsentences,somecolorfulwordchoices, andadistinctive,naturalstyle.Theessayisn’tperfect,butitcreatestheimpressionthatTuckerisa highlygiftedwriter.” Score:6 The second reader commented: “This is an exemplary essay, not totally free of flaws, but close enough to rate as a first-rate piece of writing. The piece is extremely well focused on the issue, admirablyorganized,andveryclearlypresentedininterestingandreadableprose.Thetoneisslightly glibbutneverthelessappealingandeffective.Allinall,theessaydemonstratesnotonlythewriter’s maturitybutalsohiscontrolofwrittenlanguage.” Score:6 Emily’sEssay Itotallydisagreewiththestatement“Thebestthingsinlifearefree”becausehobbiesofmine whichIfeelare“thebest”,arefarfromfree. Ienjoyvacationinginwarmclimateswhichiscostly.Firstyoumustworryabouttransportation,air fare.Thenonceyougettoyourdestinationyouwillneedaplacetostay.Foodandentertainmentisn’t freeandifyouliterallyhaveexpensivetaste,youmustspendmoney,andlotsofit. Shopping,whichcanbedonealmostanywhere,isoftentimesexpensive.Ifyouneednewbrasand underwear,forgetaboutclothes,youaretalkingalotofmoney.Bathingsuitscancostyouabout$150 asuitandeveryonelikesnewsuits,especiallyaftertheoldonesbecomesun-bleached.Ifyouneed presentsforspecialfriends,jewelrywillcostyouespeciallyifyouwanttobuysterlingsilveror14K goldorpreciousandsemipreciousstones. ScubadivingisprobablyoneofthemostincrediblethingsIhaveeverdoneinmylifetime.The wholeexperienceisphenominal.Imageyourselfinagiantroomfilledwithwaterandyouarejust hangingoutinthecenteroftheroom.Youaresuspendedinwaterandyoucanbreathe.Thissport isn’tcheap,itsnotlikekickingaballaroundafield. Materialisticallythebestthingsinlifearenotfree.Itstruethatmoneydoesn’tbuyhappinessbut someofthethingsthatIthinkaregreatareexpensive. The first reader commented: “If one overlooks this essay’s abundant sentence errors and errors in mechanics, the piece has considerable clout, created in large measure by the spirited voice of the writer.Inadvertentlyornot,Emilycomesacrossasastrong,decisivecharacterwhoknowswhatshe likesandhasnotroublearticulatingherbeliefs.” “TheessayrevealsthatEmilyisarelativelyundisciplinedwriter.Yet,shehasproducedastandard five-paragraphessaywithaclearintroduction,threeparagraphsofdevelopment,andareasonable conclusion.Togivetheessaygreatercoherence,however,sometransitionalmaterialmighthave linkedtheparagraphsmorefirmly.” “Inspiteofitsflaws,theessaydemonstratesadequatemastery.” Score:4 Thesecondreadercommented:“Demonstratingevidenceofskillincriticalthinking,thewriterhas chosen three ‘hobbies’ to argue against the views expressed in the song lyrics. She is aware of the freebiesmentionedinthesong,butshehaslittleinterestinsunbeamsandlove.Assheobservesinher finalparagraph,‘Materialisticallythebestthingsinlifearenotfree.’” “Theessayisgenerallywell-organized,althoughthesequenceofvacationing,shopping,andscubadivingarenotpreciselyparallel.Takingvacationsisamoregeneralactivitythantheothertwo,and althoughvacationsareexpensive,theymerelyprovideEmilywithopportunitiestoshopandscubadive.Also,theparagraphaboutscuba-divingdealsmostlywiththenatureoftheunderwater experienceratherthanwiththeexpense,whichisthefocusoftheotherparagraphsandoftheessayas awhole.” Score:4 Josephine’sEssay Iagreewiththissentimentthattrulythebestthingsinlifearefree.“Toeachhisown”astheysay,to methebestthingsinlifearelove,happiness,peace,andfreedom.Toobtainthesethingsinoneslife dependsontheindividual.Youcanfindlovewithyourparent,friendorevenpetdog—thislovecan beunconditional,andcostingonlyeffort.Happinessyoumake,asmile,alaughevenatearcanmake anyonehappy.Bydoingafavororevenhelpingsomeoneatyourownexpensecancostabsolutely nothingexceptacrampinyoursmile!Peaceandfreedomcomealonginlife,itmaybesomething youearnordeserve,it’slikeastampthat’ssealedinyouatbirth“I’mafreeindividual—inafree world,freetodowhatIwant”!Peacecomesfromloveandfreedomyoucangiveitorreceiveit,and itmightnotaffectyourbankaccount!Totheindividualit’sopinionatedastowhatthe“things”arein lifethatarefree.ItalsodependswhatyouwanttobuyinlifethesethingsthatIstatedbeforeand thingsthatwon’tlastforever! Thefirstreadercommented:“Afterclearlystatingtheessay’spurpose—toshowwhy‘thebestthings inlifearefree,’thewriterpresentsaseriesofrelatedbutlargelyincoherentreasons.Theformlessness oftheargumentmayspringfromthewriter’sintenttodiscuss“love,happiness,peace,andfreedom” in one short essay. This is a monumental undertaking even for a seasoned writer. In the hands of Josephine,theessayturnsintoapotpourriofgeneralizations,clichés,andmiscellaneousobservations thatintheendprovenothingexceptthatthewriter’sreachfarexceededhergrasp.” Score:1 Thesecondreadercommented:“Thisabbreviatedessaydemonstratesverylittlemasteryoftheartof writing.Itproposesamainidea(‘Iagreewiththissentimentthattrulythebestthingsinlifearefree’), butincoherentsupportingmaterialobscuresmeaning.Indeed,oneidea(‘helpingsomeoneatyourown expense can cost absolutely nothing’) seems to contradict not only itself but the essay’s alleged purpose. Errors in sentence structure constitute but one of several writing problems in this writer’s seriouslyflawedprose.” Score:1 EssayTopicsforPractice Incaseyou’vejustgottentothispointwithouthavingreadPartsIIIandIV,followthesedirectionsfor writingpracticeessays: Time:25minutes Planandwriteanessayinresponsetotheassignedtopic.Usetheessayasanopportunitytoshow howclearlyandeffectivelyyoucanexpressanddevelopideas.Presentyourthoughtslogicallyand precisely.Includespecificevidenceorexamplestosupportyourpointofview.Aplain,natural writingstyleisprobablybest.Thenumberofwordsisuptoyou,butquantityislessimportantthan quality. Limityouressaytotwosidesoflinedpaper.You’llhaveenoughspaceifyouwriteoneveryline andavoidwidemargins.Writeorprintlegiblybecausehandwritingthat’shardorimpossibleto readwilldecreaseyourscore. Ifyoufinishinlessthantwenty-fiveminutes,checkyourwork. Thetenpromptsthatfollowaresuggestedforessay-writingpractice.Becauseit’svirtually impossibletowritethesameessaytwice,trywritingonthesamepromptoverandover,eachtime choosinganotherpointofview.Thencomparetheresults. SATpromptstypicallybeginwithashortpassageorquotationfollowedbyarelatedquestion, whichyouaretoanswerinyouressay.Alwayssupportyouranswerwithreasoningandexamples takenfromyourobservations,experience,studies,orreading. 1.Thefamiliaradmonitionto“putyourmoneywhereyourmouthis”suggeststhatit’sfar easiertospeakupforaprinciplethantoliveuptoit.That’swhymostofus,whetherwe intendtoornot,sayonethingbutoftendoanother.It’sjustpartofhumannature. Assignment:Isthecommontendencytooftensayonethingbutdoanotherbuiltintoour nature,orisitsomethingthatexperienceteachesustodo? 2.“Ifyouarelikemostpeople,yoursadnessoverlosing,say,$1,000,wouldbetwiceasgreat asyourhappinessatwinning$1,000.Thatall-too-humantendencytofeelpainofaloss moredeeplythanthejoyofagainiscalled‘lossaversion.’” FromaneditorialinTheNewYorkTimes,January16,2005 Assignment:Arenegativeemotionsstrongerthanpositiveones? 3.Afterrescuingadozenmenandwomenfromaburningofficebuilding,JimSmith,aNew YorkCityfirefighter,commented,“Courageisjustamatterofluck—ofbeingintheright placeattherighttime.” Assignment:IsJimSmithcorrect—thatcourageisawidespreadhumantraitthatmost peopleneverhaveachancetouseordemonstrate? 4.“Whilewalkinginherneighborhood,afriendsawamanwhohadtiedafishinglinearound aturtle’sthroatandwaslettinghiskidsdragitupanddownthepath.Feelingthatadirect approachwouldleadtoaconfrontation,myfriendsaid:‘IamabiologistwithSo-and-So University.Turtlesaretoxic;theysecretepoisonthatmaymakeyourkidshorriblysick.’ Theguyhadhiskidsstoptormentingtheturtlerightaway.Wasthisliejustified?” FromaletterbyDavidWeinrich,published in“TheEthicist”byRandyCohen,NewYork TimesMagazine,January16,2005 Assignment:Islyingacceptableorevenobligatoryattimes? 5.AnoldEnglishproverbsays,“Whatyoudon’tknowcan’thurtyou.” Assignment:Canignoranceeverbebetterthanknowledge? 6.“Destinyisnotamatterofchance.Itisamatterofchoice.Itisnotathingtobewaitedfor,it isathingtobeachieved.” WilliamJenningsBryan(1860–1925) Assignment:Doyoubelievethatthechoiceswemake,ratherthanourabilitiesandtalents, showwhowetrulyare? 7.“Supposewewereabletosharemeaningsfreelywithoutacompulsiveurgetoimposeour vieworconformtothoseofothersandwithoutdistortionandself-deception.Wouldthisnot constitutearealrevolutioninculture?” DavidBohm Assignment:Ifweweretobecomecompletelyopenandhonestwithourselvesandwith others,wouldsocietybebetteroff? 8.“Everyproblemhasagiftforyouinitshands.” RichardBach Assignment:Istherealwaysagainfromexperiencinghardship? 9.“Theymayforgetwhatyousaid,butthey’llneverforgethowyoumadethemfeel.” CarlW.Beuchner Assignment:Arehumanemotionsmorepowerful,enduring,andmeaningfulthanour intellect?Ortoputitanotherway,doestheheartmattermorethanthebraininourlives? 10.“Icannotbelievethepurposeoflifeistobehappy.Ithinkthatthepurposeoflifeistobe useful,toberesponsible,tobecompassionate.Itis,aboveall,tomatter,tocount,tostand forsomething,tohavemadeadifferencethatyoulivedatall.” LeoRosten Assignment:Dohappinessandcontentmentdependmainlyonservingothersandmakinga differenceintheirlives? Before you evaluate your essay, reread how SAT essays are scored. Then complete the following checklist for each of the essays you’ve written. Because SAT readers will give you credit for what you’vedonewell,trytofocusonyouressay’sstrengths.Butdon’tignoreweaknesses.Ifyouhappen tofindany,turntotheappropriatesectionofthisbookforaquickfixonhowtoremedytheproblem. PARTV THEHEARTOFTHETEST:MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS •WhatYouNeedtoKnowAboutGrammar •RecognizingFlawsinStyleandExpression •IdentifyingProblemsinEnglishUsage •FixingFaultySentences •TroubleshootingaWeakEssay Introduction This chapter will prepare you to answer the three types of multiple-choice questions on the SAT WritingTest. AsolidgroundinginbasicEnglishgrammarwillhelpyousucceed.Butifgrammarmystifiesyou oryourgrammarskillsarerusty,thereissomethingyoucandoaboutit.Foronething,youcan study! Tobegin,readthischapter.Readitslowly,absorbingalittlebitatatime.Likeanycomplexsystem ofrules,grammartakestimetolearn.Perseverancehelps.Butdon’tgetboggeddowntryingto memorizeeverydetail.Instead,saveyourenergyfortheexercisesandpracticetests. YoucouldalsoborrowagrammarbookfromyourEnglishteacherorfromthelibrary.Orgo online(www.webgrammar.com,orwww.refdesk.com/factgram.html)andspendmanyprofitablehours browsingandreading.Iftimeisshortbetweennowandtestday,readandabsorbasmuchofthis chapterasyoucan.Learnthesuggestedstrategiesforansweringthequestions,dotheexercises,and takethepracticetestsinPartVI.Attheveryleast,becomefamiliarwiththeformatofthetest questions. ImprovingSentencesQuestions More than half of the multiple-choice sections of the SAT Writing Test are Improving Sentences questionsthataskyoutorecognizetwotypesoferrors: 1.ErrorsinstandardEnglishusageandgrammar 2.Errorsinstyleandexpression Allthesentence-improvementquestionsontheSATbeginwithasentenceinwhichapart,or sometimestheentiresentence,isunderlined.Thenyouaregivenfivedifferentwaysofphrasingthe underlinedpart.Yourjobistochoosetheversionthatmakesuseofclearandconcisestandard Englishandisfreeoferrorsingrammarandusage. Thefirstchoiceofthefivechoicesalwaysrepeatstheoriginal.Ifyouthinktheoriginalversionis betterthananyofthealternatives,markchoiceAonyouranswersheet.Otherwise,choosethebest versionfromtheremainingchoices,butsteerclearofanysentencethatchangestheessentialmeaning oftheoriginal. TIP TheDifferenceBetweenUsageandGrammar Although the words are often used interchangeably, usage describes actual spoken and writtenlanguage.“Standard”usageisthelevelofusageacceptedbyliteratepeoplewho, inageneralway,occupypositionsofleadershipandinfluenceinsociety. Grammar,ontheotherhand,isasetofrulesthatarefollowedwhenyouspeakand write“correctly.” SAMPLESENTENCEIMPROVEMENTQUESTIONS Type1:SentencesContainingErrors inGrammarorUsage BecauseLucywasfurious,shespeaksloudly. (A)shespeaks (B)andspeaking (C)andshespoke (D)asshespoke (E)shespoke Theunderlinedsegmentofthesentencecontainsthesubjectofthesentence,she,andtheverb speaks.Byusingspeaks,averbinthepresenttense,ratherthanspoke(pasttense),orwillspeak (futuretense),orsomeothertenseoftheverb,thewriterissayingthattheactionistakingplaceatthe presenttime. AbasicruleofEnglishgrammaristhatthetenseofverbsinasentencemustremainlogically consistent.Forexample,itisnonsense,tosayMikewalkedtoschoolafterhegetsoutofbed,butitis perfectlyacceptabletosayMikewalkedtoschoolafterhegotoutofbed. ChoiceAusesspeaks,apresenttenseverb.Thesentence,however,beginsinthepasttense,saying thatLucywasfurious.Theshiftfrompasttopresenttensemakesthesentenceincorrect.ChoiceA, therefore,isnotagoodanswer. InchoiceB,thephraseandspeakingmakeslittlesensebecauseithasnogrammaticalconnectionto thewordsBecauseLucywasfurious. ChoiceChasanotherkindofproblem.ThewordsBecauseLucywasfurioussuggeststhattherest ofthesentencewillexplainwhathappenedasaresultofLucy’sanger.Butthewordsandshespoke failtodothat. ChoiceDiswrongbecauseithasthesameproblemaschoiceC.Inaddition,asshespoketurnsthe constructionintoasentencefragment—anincompletesentence. ChoiceEisthebestanswerbecausetheverbswasandspokearebothinthepasttense,andshe spokeloudlyaccuratelydescribeswhathappenedwhenLucylosthercool. Type2:SentencesContainingErrors inStyleorExpression Greatenjoymentwasexperiencedbymeattheweddingofmysister. (A)Greatenjoymentwasexperiencedbymeattheweddingofmysister (B)Theexperienceofmysister ’sweddingwasgreatlyenjoyed (C)Beingatmysister ’sweddingwasanexperienceofgreatenjoyment (D)Igreatlyenjoyedmysister ’swedding (E)Agreatlyenjoyableexperienceformewastheweddingofmysister Herethewholesentenceisunderlined.Becausetheoriginalandallthechoicesaregrammatically correct,youmustanalyzethewritingstyle.Effectivewritingshouldbeclearandbriefitsideas gracefullyexpressed.Ofthefivechoices,onlychoiceDhasthosequalities. ChoiceAisapassivesentence,oneinwhichthesubjectofthesentenceisthereceiveroftheaction. Becauseenjoymentisthesubjectofthissentence,itreceivestheprimaryemphasis,leavingmeina secondary,orpassive,role. ChoiceBleavesthereaderuncertainaboutwhohadenjoyedthewedding. ChoiceCincludestheawkwardly-wordedphraseanexperienceofgreatenjoyment. ChoiceEcontainsmanymorewordsthanarenecessary.Compareittothecorrectanswer,choice D,whichexpressestheideasuccinctly. (Forhelpinmakinginformeddecisionsabouteffectivestyleandexpression,read“Problemsin StyleandExpression”.) Type3:SentencesContainingErrors inStandardEnglishUsage CapeCanaveralwasrenamedCapeKennedyshortlyafterJFKwasassassinated,itsoriginalname wasgivenbacktoittenyearslater. (A)wasassassinated,itsoriginalnamewasgivenbacktoittenyearslater (B)wasassassinatedanditgotbackitsoriginalnametenyearslater (C)wasassassinated;itsoriginalnamewasrestoredtenyearslater (D)wasassassinated,itwasrestoredtoitsoriginalnametenyearslater (E)wasassassinated;however,withtherestorationofitsoriginalnametenyearslater Theunderlinedtextoftheoriginalsentencehasthreeproblems.Thefirstispunctuation.Acomma improperlyseparatestwoindividualsentences.Toavoidthisso-calledcommasplice,use(1)a semicolon,or(2)aperiodandacapitalletterforthesecondsentence.Athirdoptionistokeepthe commaandaddanappropriateconjunction(and,but,or,nor,for,yet,orso). Thesecondproblemiswordiness.Theunderlinedtext,whichcontainsthirteenwords,isless concisethananyoftheotherchoices. Andthethirdproblemisawkwardness.Thephrasewasgivenbacktoithasadecidedlyungraceful sound. Which,then,isthebestchoice? ChoiceArepeatstheoriginal.Rejectit. ChoiceBaddstheconjunctionandbutomitsthecommaordinarilyplacedbetweenthetwopartsof acompoundsentence.Inaddition,itgotbackitsoriginalnameisawkward,dueinparttotheuseofit anditsinthesamephrase. ChoiceCavoidstheproblemsoftheotherchoices.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceDcontainsacommasplice.Also,likechoiceB,itawkwardlyrepeatsthepronounit. ChoiceEcontainsasentencefragment.Thatis,theconstructionbeginningwithhoweverisan incompletesentence. Itprobablytookyouafewminutestoreadtheexplanationsofthethreesamplesentences.Onthe SAT,underthepressureoftime,youareexpectedtodoasimilarbutfarquickeranalysis.Some questionswillhavedefiniterightandwronganswers;othersrequirejudgment.Sometimestwoor morechoicesmaybegrammaticallycorrect,butthebestanswerwillbethemostgracefuland effectivelyexpressedsentence.Someitemsmaycontainmultipleerrors,othersjustone.Someassess yourknowledgeofstandardEnglishusage.Otherstestyourunderstandingofsentencestructureand writingstyle. Inshort,sentence-correctionquestionsdealwithdozensofwritingproblems.Themajority, however,relatetooneofthefollowing: ProblemsinStyleandExpression Wordiness Awkwardness Faultywordchoice Faultyidiom ProblemsinSentenceStructure Sentencefragments Run-onsentences Semicolonerrors Commasplices Mismatchedsentenceparts Faultycoordination Faultysubordination Faultyparallelism Mixedconstruction Shiftsingrammaticalsubject Shiftsinverbtense Shiftsfromactivetopassiveconstruction Misplacedmodifiers Danglingmodifiers ProblemsinStandardEnglishUsage Subject–verbagreement Faultyverbforms Useofpronouns Faultypronouncase Shiftinpronounperson Pronoun–antecedentagreement Faultypronounreference Faultycomparisons PROBLEMSINSTYLEANDEXPRESSION Roughly25percentofthesentence-improvementquestionsontheSATtestyourabilitytopickoutthe best,clearest,andmostcogentlywrittensentences.Toanswerthequestionsyouneedtoapplysuch basicprinciplesofgoodwritingas: Omitneedlesswords. Avoidredundancies. Chooseprecisewords. UsethenaturalorderofEnglishidiom. Avoidawkwardandclumsyexpression. Inthepagesthatfollow,commonerrorsinstyleandexpressionarespelledoutandillustrated. Readthematerialandanswerthesamplequestions.AndformoredetailsturntoPartIII,whichfully discussestheseandotherprinciplesofeffectivewriting. Wordiness Sentencesclutteredwithunnecessarywordsarelesseffectivethantightlywrittensentencesinwhich every word matters. Some sentence-correction questions will contain words and phrases that needlesslyrepeatwhathasalreadybeenstatedorimplied.Lookalsoforclausesthatcanbeshortened tophrasesandphrasesthatcanberecastassinglewords. Herearetwoexamples: 1.DuringthemonthsofJulyandAugustlastsummer,Ihadawonderfulsummervacation. BecauseJulyandAugustarethenamesofmonthsthatoccurinthesummer,thissentencecontains wordsthatcanbedeleted: LastJulyandAugustIhadawonderfulvacation. 2.Asyoucontinuedowntheroadalittlefurther,youwillbepleasedanddelightedwiththe beautifulandgorgeousviewsofthescenerythatyou’llbeseeing. Thesentencecontainstoomanywords.Reviseitbyreducingtheinitialclausetoaphraseand eliminatingtheredundancies: Continuingdownthisroad,you’llbedelightedwiththebeautifulscenery. SampleQuestionsContainingWordiness 1.Amongthemanynumerousthreatsinthecontemporaryworldinwhichweliveareboththe threatofglobalwarmingandthethreatofterrorism. (A)Amongthemanynumerousthreatsinthecontemporaryworldinwhichweliveareboth thethreatofglobalwarmingandthethreatofterrorism (B)Amongthemanythreatswefaceinthecontemporaryworldinwhichweliveareglobal warmingandthethreatofterrorism (C)Bothglobalwarmingandterrorismaretwoofthemanythreatsfacedbytoday’sworld (D)Today’sworldfaces,amongmanyotherthreats,globalwarmingandterrorism (E)Weliveinacontemporaryworldfacing,amongmanyotherthreats,thethreatsofglobal warmingandterrorism ChoiceA,inadditiontorepeatingthreat,containstworedundancies.Thefirstismanyand numerous;thesecondiscontemporaryworldandinwhichwelive.(Afterall,whereelsedowelive exceptinthecontemporaryworld?) ChoiceBcontainstheredundantphrasescontemporaryworldandinwhichwelive.SeechoiceA. ChoiceCcontainstheredundantwordsbothandtwo. ChoiceDisfreeofexcesswordsandredundancies.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceEunnecessarilyrepeatsthreatandcontainsavariationoftheredundancyinchoiceB. 2.BecauseofhergenderwasthereasonwhyEmmafeltshewasdeprivedofaplaceplayingon thevarsityfootballteam. (A)BecauseofhergenderwasthereasonwhyEmmafeltshewasdeprivedofaplaceplaying onthevarsityfootballteam (B)Emmafeltthathergenderkeptherfromplayingonthevarsityfootballteam (C)Becauseofhergender,Emmagaveitasareasonwhyshewasdeprivedofaplacetoplay onthevarsityfootballteam (D)Emma,agirl,feelingthereasonwhyshewasdeprivedofaplaceonthevarsityfootball team (E)Asagirl,Emma,feltthatshecouldnotplayonthevarsityfootballteam ChoiceAcontainstheredundancythereasonwhy.Useeitherthereasonorwhy,notboth.In addition,thephraseplaceplayingisawkwardlyexpressed. ChoiceBeconomicallyexpressestheideaoftheoriginalsentence.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceCcontainsthewordyphraseofaplacetoplay.Deletetoplay. ChoiceDcontainsthesameredundancyaschoiceA.Inaddition,theconstructionisasentence fragment. ChoiceE,whileeconomicallywritten,significantlyaltersthemeaningoftheoriginalsentence. Awkwardness Awkward and clumsy are vague words that cover a great many writing weaknesses, including poor grammar and flawed sentence structure. Most often, though, awkwardness occurs when the words soundpeculiar,jarring,oroutoftune.Awkwardnessisdifficulttodefine,butyouknowitwhenyou hear it. Much of the time you must rely on your ear to detect odd and clumsily worded sentences because there are no specific rules that can explain their defects except that they fail to conform to standardEnglishidiom. SampleQuestionsContainingAwkwardConstruction 1.Insidethecave,Justin’seyesdidnotadjusttothedarkasquicklyasEllie’sdid,thisisbeingwhy shefoundtheskullandnothe. (A)did,thisisbeingwhyshefoundtheskullandnothe (B)did,thereforeEllieandnothimfoundtheskull (C)did;thereforeshefoundtheskullandnothe (D)did,whichbeingthereasonwhyshefoundtheskullandnothim (E)did,beingthereasonwhyshefoundtheskullandnothim ChoiceAcontainsthisisbeing,anawkward,nonstandardusage. ChoiceBuseshim,anobjectpronoun,insteadofhe,asubjectpronoun. ChoiceCisstandardusageandisproperlypunctuated.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceDcontainswhichbeing,anawkward,nonstandardusage.Italsousesthepronounhim insteadofhe. ChoiceEcontainstheredundancythereasonwhy.Useeitherthereasonorwhy,butnotboth.Also himshouldbehe. 2.Verticaltake-offandlandingaircraftgettheirfixed-wingcapabilityfromhigh-speedair pumpedfromslotsinthetrailingedgesoftheirrotors,inwhichitincreasestheairflowover themtocreatelift. (A)rotors,inwhichitincreasestheairflow (B)rotors,whichincreasestheairflow (C)rotors,thereforeitincreasestheairflow (D)rotors,theendresultbeingitincreasestheairflow (E)rotors,consequentlywhichincreasestheairflow ChoiceAisawkwardlyworded,partlybecausethepronounitfailstorefertoaspecificnounor otherpronoun. ChoiceBeliminatestheawkwardnessandisconcise.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceCisnotawkwardbutitcontainsacommasplice. ChoiceDcontainstheredundancyendresultandleavesthepronounitwithoutaspecificreferent. ChoiceEisawkwardandungrammatical. FaultyWordChoice Problemsinwordchoiceoccurwhenwritersignorewordconnotations,failtodrawfinedistinctions betweensynonyms,orsimplydon’tknowtheprecisemeaningofwords.Forexample: ThepoemcontainsillusionstoGreekmythology. Thissentencecontainsanerrorindictionbecausethewritermeantallusions. TheboysranafowlofthelawwhentheyshopliftedtheDVD. Herethewriterconfusedafowl(achickenorduck)withthewordafoul. SampleQuestionsContainingFaultyWordChoice 1.Marissaholdedherfatherindisrespectbythrowingabookathimduringtheirargumentlast weekoverhercurfew. (A)Marissaholdedherfatherindisrespectby (B)Marissashoweddisrespectforherfatherby (C)Marissadisrespectsherfatherby (D)DisrespectingMarissa’sfatherby (E)Havingshowndisrespectforherfatherby ChoiceAusestheincorrectpasttenseoftheverbtohold.Useheldinsteadofholded. ChoiceBusesthecorrectwordsinthecorrectorder.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceCusestheincorrecttenseoftheverb.Becausetheargumentoccurredlastweek,thepast, notthepresent,tenseoftheverbmustbeused.Usedisrespectedinsteadofdisrespects. ChoicesDandEaresentencefragments. 2.Anotherqualitycommontofirefightersistheirreliabilityontheirfellowfirefighters. (A)tofirefightersistheirreliabilityon (B)offirefightersistodependon (C)tofirefightersistheymustrelyon (D)tofirefightersistheirrelianceon (E)tofirefightersishisreliabilityfor ChoiceAusesreliabilityinsteadofreliance,anexampleoffaultydiction. ChoiceBcontainsmismatchedsentenceparts;instandardusageanoun(quality)maynotbe definedwithaverb(todepend)butonlywithanothernoun. ChoiceCcontainsmismatchedsentenceparts;instandardusageanoun(quality)maynotbe definedbyaclause(theymustrely…)butonlywithanothernoun. ChoiceDcorrectlyconveysthemeaningofthesentence.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceEcontainsfaultyidiom.ThephrasehisreliabilityforisnotstandardEnglish. FaultyIdiom Anidiomusuallyconsistsofagroupofwordsthatseemsabsurdiftakenliterally.Whenyou“havea ball,”theexperiencehasnothingtodowithasphericalobjectusedonthebasketballcourtorsoccer field.Theexpression“that’scool”isnotrelatedtotemperature,andsoon.Suchidiomsoftenpuzzle speakersofotherlanguages,buttonativespeakersofEnglish,theyareasnaturalasbreathing. OntheSAT,thewordidiomrefersnotonlytosuchexpressionsbutalsotoidiomaticusage—that is,totheselectionandsequenceofwordsusedtoconveyameaning.Theitalicizedwordsinthe followingsentenceareexamplesoffaultyidiom: Thegeneralwasunwillingtopaythepriceforvictory. Nancyhasanegativeopiniontowardsme. Asregardstoherfuture,Tinasaidshe’dgotocollege. Themeaningofeachsentenceisclear,buttheitalicizedsectionsdon’tconformtostandardEnglish idiom.Revised,thesentenceswouldread: Thegeneralwasunwillingtopaythepriceofvictory.Nancyhasanegativeopinionofme. Withregardtoherfuture,Tinasaidshe’dgotocollege. SampleQuestionsContainingFaultyIdiom 1.Stoppingatadimeiswhattheengineerswereafterwhentheydesignedbrakesforthehighspeedtrain. (A)Stoppingatadimeiswhattheengineerswereafterwhen (B)Tostopatadimeiswhattheengineerswereafterwhen (C)Stoppingatadimeiswhattheengineerssought (D)Stoppingonadimeiswhattheengineerssoughtas (E)Theengineerswantedtostoponadimewhile ChoiceAcontainsfaultyidiom.Theexpressionisonadime,notatadime. ChoicesBandCusethesamenon-standardidiom. ChoiceDusesthecorrectidiom.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceEusesthecorrectidiombutchangesthemeaningbysayingthattheengineers,notthetrain, wantedtostoponadime. 2.Einstein’stheoryofrelativityis,formostofus,onethatiswithdifficultunderstanding. (A)withdifficultunderstanding (B)difficultforunderstanding (C)havingdifficultybeingunderstood (D)understoodonlybydifficultly (E)difficulttounderstand ChoicesA,B,andDfailtoadheretostandardEnglishidiom. ChoiceCisidiomaticbutitfailstorelatelogicallytothepreviouspartofthesentence. ChoiceEusescorrectEnglishidiomtoconveytheidea.Itisthebestanswer. PROBLEMSINSENTENCESTRUCTURE SentenceFragments Broadlyspeaking,asentenceisagroupofwordsthatbeginswithacapitalletterandendswithanend mark of punctuation. It also conveys a more or less complete thought and is grammatically whole, whichmeansthatithasasubjectandaverb. Partialsentences,sentencefragments,oftenlookremarkablylikecompletesentencesbutarenot becauseofoneormoregrammaticaldefects. ThebicyclethatMarthaoftenborrowed. Thisnon-sentenceseemstohaveallthecharacteristicsofacompletesentence.Itstartswitha capitalletterandendswithaperiod.Itconveysacompletethought(Marthaoftenborrowedthe bicycleisacompletethought),anditappearstocontainasubjectandaverb.Whatmakesita fragment,though,isthatthesubjectbicycleandverbborroweddon’tfittogether.Asaninanimate object,abicyclecan’tborrowor,forthatmatter,domuchofanythingelseonitsown.ItwasMartha whodidtheborrowing,butthenounMarthacannotbethesubjectofthesentencebecauseitispartof thesubordinateclause,thatMarthaborrowed.Therefore,bicycleneedsaverbofitsown. ThebicyclethatMarthaoftenborrowedwasstolen. Withtheadditionofwasstolen,thesentenceisnowcomplete. Sentencefragmentsusuallyoccurwhenwritersfailtodistinguishbetweendependentand independentclauses,whentheyconfusephrasesandclauses,orwhentheyattempttouseverbalsas verbs.Todeterminewhetherasentenceiscomplete,uncoveritsbarebones.Thatis,deconstructthe sentencebyeliminatingdependentclauses,phrases,andverbals.Ifwhatremainsdoesnothavea subjectandaverb,it’sprobablyafragment. Toidentifythesubjectoflongsentencesmaytakesomedoing,butthe“barebones”strategy usuallyworks.Usingthisapproach,you’llstripawayeverythinginasentencebutitssubjectandverb, ataskthatmaybeeasiersaidthandone.It’snotveryformidable,though,ifyourememberthatthe grammaticalsubjectcanneverbein(1)aprepositionalphrase,(2)adependentclause,or(3)aphrase thatinterruptstheflowofthesentence. Frankly,identifyingthebarebonesofasentenceisoftenamorecomplexprocessthanthat suggestedinthefollowingexamples.Sometimesthebarebonesareburieddeepwithinlongand complicatedsentences.Butbycarefullypeelingawaysentencepartsthatcannotcontainthesubjector verb,you’lleventuallyfindthem. Tofindthe“barebones”ofasentence: Step1:Lookforprepositionalphrases,suchasupthewall,aroundthecorner,tothe beach,overthecounter,andcrossthemout.Forexample,ifyouweretoeliminateall theprepositionalphrasesinthesesentences,onlythesubjectandtheverb—the“bare bones”—willremain. Completesentence: Barebones: Completesentence: Barebones: Completesentence: Barebones: Inthemiddleofthenight,Pricillaslept. Pricillaslept Severalofthesentencesareinthebook. Severalare OneofFrida’sfriendsisinneedofhelp. Oneis Step2:Locateallthedependentclauses—thosepartsofsentencescontaininganoun andaverbbutdon’tqualifyascompletesentencesbecausetheybeginwithwordsand phrases like although, as, as though, because, before, even though, if, in spite of, regardlessof,since,sothat,unless,whenever,whether, and while. Another group of dependent clauses are statements (not questions) that start with when, where, which, who,andwhat. Afterdeletingthedependentclausesinthefollowingsentences,onlythemain clausewillremain.That’swheretofindthebarebonesofeachsentence. Completesentence: Barebones: Completesentence: Barebones: Completesentence: Barebones: Becauseshemissedthebus,Marniewept. Marniewept WhileWilliewaitedforthebus,hestudied vocabulary. hestudied Andyhelpsoutwheneverhehasthetime. Andyhelpsout Step 3: Look for and delete interrupters—those parts of sentences that impede the smoothflowofthemainidea.Interruptersmaybejustoneword,suchashoweverand nevertheless,ordozens.They’reoftensetoffbycommas. Completesentence: Barebones: Completesentence: Barebones: Completesentence: Barebones: Ellen,regardlessofthelookonherface,rejoiced. Ellenrejoiced Theboat,asleekwhitecatamaran,sank. boatsank Marty,whogotticketedfordoing60ina30MPH zone,paidthefine. Martypaid SampleQuestionsContainingSentenceFragments 1.Duringthenight,thestarsthatcameoutlikediamondsonblackvelvet. (A)starsthatcame (B)starscoming (C)stars,whicharecoming (D)starscame (E)stars,whichcame Startyouranalysisofthissentencebydeletingalltheprepositionalphrases,namelyDuringthe night,likediamondsandonblackvelvet.Nowdeleteanydependentclauses;thereisonlyone:that cameout.Theonlywordsleftarethestars,clearlynotacompletesentence. ChoiceA,therefore,iswrongbecauseitisasentencefragment. ChoiceBiswrongbecausethe–ingformofaverbmaynotbethemainverbofasentenceunlessit isaccompaniedbyahelpingverb,asinissinging,hasbeenraining,willbearriving. ChoicesCandEarealsowrongbecausewhich,likethat,introducesadependentclause. Bytheprocessofelimination,then,choiceDisthebestanswer.Starsisthesubjectofthesentence, andcameistheverb. 2.Abeliefamongsuperstitiouspeoplethatbirthmarksarecausedbyinfluencesonthemother beforethechildisborn. (A)Abeliefamongsuperstitiouspeoplethat (B)Superstitiouspeoplebelievethat (C)Superstitiouspeoplebelievingthat (D)Amongsuperstitiouspeoplethebeliefthat (E)Amongbeliefsofsuperstitiouspeoplearethat Analyzethesentencewiththesametechniqueusedinquestion1—bydeletingallprepositional phrasesanddependentclauses.Thensearchtheremainingwordsforasubjectandaverb. ChoiceAhasagrammaticalsubject,belief,buttheconstructionisafragmentbecauseitlacksa mainverb.Althougharecausedandisbornareverbs,neithercanbethemainverbbecausetheyare inthedependentclause,thatbirthmarks…. ChoiceBcontainsbothasubject,people,andaverb,believe.Itisacompletesentenceandisthe bestanswer. ChoiceCcontainsasubject,people,butnoverb.The–ingformofaverbmaynotbethemainverb ofasentenceunlessitisaccompaniedbyahelpingverb,asinissinging,hasbeenraining,willbe arriving. ChoiceDhasneitherasubjectnoraverbbecausetheconstructionismadeuponlyofphrasesanda dependentclause. ChoiceEhasaverb,are,butnosubjectbecauseallthenounsareeitherinprepositionalphrasesor inthedependentclause. Run-onSentences Arun-onsentenceconsistsoftwoindependentclausesseparatedbyneitheraconjunction(and, but, or,nor,yet,orso)noranappropriatemarkofpunctuation,asin: Birthstonesaresupposedtobringgoodluckminehasneverbroughtmeany. Aconjunctionoramarkofpunctuationisneededbetweenluckandmine. Birthstonesaresupposedtobringgoodluck,butminehasneverbroughtmeany. Addingbutsolvestheproblem.Acommahasalsobeenaddedbecausesentencesmadeupoftwoor more independent clauses joined by a conjunction usually require a comma. Another possibility is writingtwoseparatesentences: Birthstonesaresupposedtobringgoodluck.Minehasneverbroughtmeany. Separating the sentences with a semicolon is also an acceptable alternative. In effect, the semicolon functionslikeaperiod.Note,however,thattheinitialletterofthesecondsentenceisnotcapitalized: Birthstonesaresupposedtobringgoodluck;minehasneverbroughtmeany. SampleQuestionsContainingaRun-onSentence Thecampershatedthetasteofpowderedmilktheydrankwaterinstead. (A)milktheydrank (B)milk;preferringtodrink (C)milkdrinking (D)milk,sotheydrank (E)milksotheydrank ChoiceAisarun-on.Aperiodorasemicolonisneededbetweenmilkandthey. ChoiceBisnotagoodalternativebecauseasemicolonfunctionslikeaperiod,andthesecond clauseisnowasentencefragment. ChoiceCneedsacommaandisawkwardlyworded. ChoicesDhasaconjunctionso,precededbyacomma.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceElacksthecommarequiredbeforetheconjunctionso. SemicolonErrors Misuse of a semicolon is a common error in sentence-improvement questions. Remember that a semicolonisasubstituteforaperiod,notforacomma.Correctlyused,asemicolonmustliebetween twoindependentclauses. Incorrect:OnthetestLucygota90;whichraisedherfinalaverage. Theclausewhichraisedherfinalaverageisnotanindependentclause. Correct:OnthetestLucygota90;thisgraderaisedherfinalaverage. SampleQuestionsContainingaSemicolonError Mending a fracture takes from four weeks to a year; depending on the size of the bone, the location,andtheageoftheperson. (A)year;depending (B)year;alldepending (C)yeardepending (D)year,itdepends (E)year,depending ChoicesAandBconsistofanindependentclauseandasentencefragment—inthiscasea participialphrase—improperlyseparatedbyasemicolon. ChoiceCneedsacommatobecorrect. ChoiceDisacommasplice(seediscussionthatfollows). ChoiceEproperlyusesacommatoseparatethetwoparts.Thefirstpartisanindependentclause, thesecondaparticipialphrase. CommaSplices Aformofrun-onsentenceisthecommasplice,aconstructioninwhichacommaisusedbetweentwo independentclausesinsteadofaperiodorasemicolon. SampleQuestionsContainingaCommaSplice ToniMorrisonisoneofAmerica’soutstandingauthors,sheisknownforhercriticalessays,her novels,andherfrequentappearancesontelevision. (A)authors,sheisknown (B)authors;sheisknown (C)authorsfamous (D)authorssinceknown (E)authorsbeingthatsheisknown ChoiceAisacommasplice.Itusesacommatojointwoindependentclauses. ChoiceBiscorrectbecauseitusesasemicolontoseparatetwoindependentclauses.Itisthebest answer. ChoiceCneedsacommatobecorrect. ChoicesDandEareawkwardlyexpressedandungrammatical. PracticeinWritingCorrectSentences Directions: Some of the following are sentence fragments, others are run-ons, and still others containcommasplices.Usethespacesprovidedtowritecompleteandcorrectsentences. 1.AlthoughElizabethisstressedoutabouttheSAT. 2.Sheaskedtheteacherforanextensionontheassignment,theteacheragreed. 3.Mygrandmotheriseighty-sixyearsoldthereforeshewalksveryslowly. 4.ManyotherexamplesthatIcouldchoosetoshowwhoIam,manyofthemnotvividimagesof memorablemoments,buteverydayaspectsofmylife. 5.Iwokeup,havingsleptforthefourshortesthoursofmylife,IforceopenmyeyesandIcrawlto theshowerthenmybrainbeginstofunction. 6.FormetobelievethatthecrucialtimehasarrivedwhenIwillleavetheprotectiveworldofhigh schoolandentertheworldofcollege. 7.Thelargebrowngaragedoorcreaksopenslowly,outintothemorningsunshineariderona roadbikeemerges. 8.Whataretheruleswhichweallmustfollowwhatmighthappenifwebreakthem. 9.Abiologistworkinginthefieldofgeneticengineeringandinvolvedinthecontroversy surroundingcloning. 10.Usingthespacebelow,tellingonestoryaboutyourselftoprovidetheadmissionscommittee, eitherdirectlyorindirectly,withaninsightintothekindofpersonyouare. MismatchedSentenceParts Sentences work best when their components fit together harmoniously and grammatically. Errors occur when two clauses are incompatible, or a sentence begins in the active voice and ends in the passive. A breakdown in logic or clear thinking may also account for an error, as when two ideas expressedinacompoundsentenceareunrelated.Thematerialthatfollowsexplains,first,thespecific kindsoferrorstowatchforand,second,howtomakecorrections. FAULTYCOORDINATION In everyday conversation people often use lengthy compound sentences made up of several short sentencesjoinedbyand,so,orotherconjunctions: InschoolonTuesdaythelightswentout,andwewereinthedarkformorethananhour,and the electricitywasoff,sowecouldn’tusethecomputers,andweheardthatacarhadhitautilitypole, andthedriverwaskilled,andtheyletusgohomeearly. Thissentencetellsastorywithoutbreakingasingleruleofusageorgrammar.Yet,itisstylistically flawed, not because it’s monotonous but because each idea appears in an independent clause, suggesting that all the ideas are equally important. Clauses of equal rank in a sentence are called coordinate clauses and are usually joined by the conjunctions and, but, or, nor, yet, or so. Faulty coordination occurs (1) when it is illogical or inappropriate to assign equal importance to two or more coordinate clauses, or (2) when the connecting word fails to create a reasonable relationship betweentheclauses. Tomwasawayatsummercamp,andhisparentsdecidedtosplitupaftertwentyyearsof marriage. Thetwocoordinateclausesstateseeminglyunrelatedideas,obviouslyofunequalimportance.Inthe followingsentence,aswellasinmostothercomplexsentences,thecontentsoftheindependentclause areassumedtocontainmoreimportantinformationthanthecontentsofotherclauses.Inotherwords, makingclausesdependentreducesthesignificanceoftheinformationtheycontain,therebychanging theeffectofthesentence: WhileTomwasawayatsummercamp,hisparentsdecidedtosplitupaftertwentyyearsof marriage. Whatfollowsisasentenceinwhichtheconjunctionandfailstoconveyameaningfulrelationship betweentheideasinthetwoclauses. Ms.Sheridanhasbecomethenewassistantprincipal,andshehasneverbeenaclassroomteacher. Makingthesecondclausedependentbyusingalthough creates a more sensible connection between theideas: Ms.Sheridanhasbecomethenewassistantprincipal,althoughshehasneverbeenaclassroom teacher. Forthesakeofunityandcoherence,itisusuallybetternottoshiftfromonegrammaticalsubjectto anotherbetweenclauses.Maintainingthesubjecthelpsreadersglideeasilyfromoneclausetothe nextwithoutrealigningtheirfocus. Faulty:Theplanwillbeagreatsuccess,orgreatfailurewillbetheresult. Planisthesubjectofthefirstclause;failureisthesubjectofthesecond. Unified:Theplanwillbeagreatsuccess,oritwillbeagreatfailure. Thepronounitkeepsthesubjectinfocusfromoneclausetothenext. SampleQuestionsContainingFaultyCoordination 1.ElizabethhopestoattendOhioWesleyan,andshehasnotyetsentinherapplication. (A)andshehasnotyetsentinherapplication (B)andshehasn’tsentherapplicationinyet (C)butherapplicationhasn’tasyetbeensentinbyher (D)yetthesendingoftheapplicationhasnotyetbeendone (E)butshehasn’tyetsentinherapplication ChoiceAisincorrectbecausetheconjunctionandfailstoexpressareasonablerelationship betweenthetwocoordinateclauses. ChoiceBhasthesameproblemaschoiceA. ChoiceCexpressesanaptrelationshipbyusingtheconjunctionbut,butthenitswitchessubjects andchangesfromactivetopassiveconstruction. ChoiceDswitchessubjectsandisawkwardlyworded. ChoiceEconveystherelationshipbetweentheclausesandisconsistent.Itisthebestanswer. 2.MyweekendjobatTheGAPwillhelpmeasamarketingmajor,andIamlearningaboutretail selling. (A)MyweekendjobatTheGAPwillhelpmeasamarketingmajor,andIamlearningabout retailselling (B)Learningaboutretailselling,myweekendjobatTheGAPwillhelpmeasamarketing major (C)MyweekendjobatTheGAP,whereIamlearningaboutretailselling,willhelpmeasa marketingmajor (D)HelpingmeasamarketingmajorislearningaboutretailsellinginmyweekendjobatThe GAP (E)MyweekendjobatTheGAPwillhelpmeasamarketingmajor;Iamlearningaboutretail selling ChoiceAisasentencethatgivesequalweighttoitstwoclauseseventhoughthecontentofthefirst clauseisprobablymoreimportantthanthecontentofthesecond. ChoiceBproperlychangesthesecondclauseintoaphrase,butthechangeresultsinadangling participle. ChoiceCproperlysubordinatesthesecondclauseandembedsitintheindependentclause.Itisthe bestanswer. ChoiceDturnstwoclausesintoone,butthesubjecthelpingandthepredicatenominativelearning makeanawkwardlywordedcombination. ChoiceE,despitetherevision,failstocorrecttheoriginalproblem. FAULTYSUBORDINATION Bymeansofsubordination,writersareabletoconveynotonlytheinterrelationshipofideasbutalso therelativeimportanceofoneideatoanother.Here,forinstance,aretwostatements: Joerushedtoschool.Heateatunasandwich. The relationship between the two ideas is not altogether transparent, but it can be clarified by subordinatingoneoftheideas. Whileherushedtoschool,Joeateatunasandwich. or Whileheateatunasandwich,Joerushedtoschool. In each sentence, the more important idea appears in the main clause instead of in the subordinate clause. The subordinate clause in both sentences begins with while, one of many common subordinating conjunctions. Others include after, although, as if, as though, because, before, if, in order to, since, so that, that, though, unless, until, when, whenever, where, whereas, wherever, and whether.Thepresenceofoneoftheseconjunctionsinasentence-improvementquestionshouldalert youtothepossibilityoffaultysubordination.Thesentencesthatfollowillustratetypicalproblems: Whilesheisamatureyoungwoman,sheisafraidofthedark. Thesubordinatingconjunctionwhileusuallyreferstotime,asinwhilehewasawayinBoston.Here, however, while obscures both the meaning of the sentence and the relationship between the two statements. Althoughsheisamatureyoungwoman,sheisafraidofthedark. Anewsubordinatingconjunctionclarifiesthemeaning. IreadinthepaperwherethefleetiscomingbacktoNorfolk. Themeaningmaybeclear,butinthiscontextwhereisnotstandardusage. IreadinthepaperthatthefleetiscomingbacktoNorfolk. Anotherproblemconcernstheplacementofemphasis.Theconjunctionandinthefollowingsentence givesequalemphasistounequalideas. IarrivedhomefromschoolandIreceivedmyacceptanceletterfromOhioState. Statingthemoresignificanteventinthemainclauseplacestheemphasiswhereitbelongs: WhenIarrivedhomefromschool,IreceivedmyacceptanceletterfromOhioState. SampleQuestionsContainingFaultySubordination 1.Pedroisanewstudentintheschool,andhecomesfromPortugal. (A)Pedroisanewstudentintheschool,andhecomesfromPortugal (B)Pedro,beingfromPortugal,isanewstudentintheschool (C)Pedro,anewstudentintheschool,comesfromPortugal (D)Pedro,anewstudentintheschoolandanativeofPortugal (E)PedroisanewstudentfromPortugalintheschool ChoiceAisgrammaticallycorrect,butitwouldbemoreeffectiveifoneclauseweresubordinated totheother. ChoiceBsubordinatesaclause,buttheuseofbeingoddlysuggeststhatPedro’spresenceinthe schoolisrelatedtohisnationality. ChoiceCproperlysubordinatesoneideaandembedsitinthemainclause.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceDisasentencefragment. ChoiceEaltersthemeaningoftheoriginalsentence. 2.Whenhesuddenlystartedtogrinlikeanimbecile,Iwaswalkingwithhiminthepark. (A)Whenhesuddenlystartedtogrinlikeanimbecile,Iwaswalkingwithhiminthepark (B)WhileIwalkedwithhiminthepark,hesuddenlystartedtogrinlikeanimbecile (C)Suddenlystartingtogrinlikeanimbecile,hewaswalkingintheparkwithme (D)Hegrinnedsuddenlylikeanimbecileandwalkedintheparkwithme (E)Walkingintheparkwithmeandsuddenlygrinninglikeanimbecile ChoiceAisincorrectbecauseitplacesthemoreimportantideainthesubordinateclause. ChoiceBplacesthemainideainthemainclause.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceCiswrongbecauseitputsthemajorideaintoaphrase. ChoiceDiswrongbecauseitchangesthemeaningoftheoriginalsentence. ChoiceEisasentencefragment. FAULTYPARALLELISM Faulty parallelism occurs most often when an item in a series is not grammatically parallel to the others,whenasentenceisconstructedofmixed,orunrelatedparts,andwhenthesubjectortenseofa verbchangesfromonepartofasentencetoanother. Forexample,aseriesofsentenceelements—clauses,phrases,verbs,andevennounsjoinedbyand, but,or,nor,orfor—shouldbewordedinparallelform.Thatistosay,theirstructureshouldbe repeatedusingthesamepartsofspeechinthesameorder.Parallelstructurecreatesasenseofrhythm andorder.Withoutparallelism,yougetjumblessuchasthis: Todayatelevisionnewscastermustbeattractiveandalotofcharm. The word attractive is an adjective modifying newscaster; charm is a noun. Revise the sentence by makingbothwordsnounsorbothwordsadjectivesthatmodifynouns,asin Todayatelevisionnewscastermusthavegoodlooksandcharm. or Todayatelevisionnewscastermustbeattractiveandcharming. Anotherexample: Eighteen-year-oldsaretooyoungtosigncontracts,buttheymayhavebeendrivingforyears. Thefirstclausestatesanideainthepresenttense.Thesecondclause,however,takesanunexpected and perplexing turn by changing the verb to the past perfect. With the verbs in parallel form the sentenceis: Eighteen-year-oldsmaydrive,buttheyaretooyoungtosigncontracts. Orwrittenmoreconcisely: Eighteen-year-oldsarepermittedtodrivebutnottosigncontracts. SampleQuestionsContainingFaultyParallelism 1.Studentslackingfinancialresourcescanstillgotocollegebecausetheycanborrowmoney frombanks,holdpart-timejobs,andscholarshipsareavailable. (A)holdpart-timejobs,andscholarshipsareavailable (B)jobsareavailable,andscholarshipsareavailable (C)holdpart-timejobs,andwinscholarships (D)holdingpart-timejobsandwinningscholarships (E)holdingpart-timejobsandwinscholarships ChoiceAcontainsscholarshipsareavailable,aconstructionthatisnotparalleltoborrowmoney frombanksandholdpart-timejobs. ChoiceBcontainsconstructionsthatarenotparalleltothestructureofborrowmoneyfrombanks. ChoiceCcontainsphrasesparallelinformtoborrowmoneyfrombanks.Itisthebestanswer. ChoicesDandEcontainsphrasesthatarenotparalleltothestructureofborrowmoneyfrombanks. 2.Whenbuyingapieceofclothing,smartconsumersconsiderhowmuchtheitemcosts,how gooditlooks,anditsdurability. (A)itsdurability (B)ifitisdurable (C)thedurabilityofit (D)theabilityoftheitemtolast (E)howdurableitis Thesentencecontainsthreeelementsthatmustbeinparallelform.Twoofthethreebeginwith how,followedbyanadverboradjectiveandthenbyaverb.OnlychoiceEfollowsthispattern; therefore,choiceEisthebestanswer. MixedConstruction A variation of faulty parallelism is mixed construction, which occurs when the beginning of a sentence doesn’t fit grammatically or logically with the end. Mixed sentence parts suggest that the writer,infinishingasentence,ignoredhowithadbegun: Maggie’sgoalistobeanurseandishopingtogotonursingschoolaftergraduation. The grammatical subject goal appears to have been forgotten in the second half of the sentence becausetheverbishopinglacksanappropriatesubject. Maggieaspirestobeanurse,andsheishopingtogotonursingschoolaftergraduation. With a compound sentence containing two subjects and two verbs, the problem is solved. But subordinatingoneoftheclausesisanevenbettersolutiontotheproblem: Maggie,whoaspirestobeanurse,hopestogotonursingschoolaftergraduation. Anotherexample: WhenLanacametoschoolwithablackeyewasasignalthatsheisanabusedchild. Theverbwasneedsasubject. Lana’scomingtoschoolwithablackeyewasasignalthatsheisanabusedchild. Theproblemhasbeensolvedbyusingcomingasthegrammaticalsubject. SampleQuestionsContainingMixedConstruction 1.Thenextmorning,afterChristie’scarwasfoundabandoned,therewasanationwidesearchfor themissingauthorhadstarted. (A)therewasanationwidesearchforthemissingauthorhadstarted (B)therewasthebeginningofanationwidesearchforthemissingauthor (C)anationwidesearchforthemissingauthorwillhavebegan (D)therebegunanationwidesearchforthemissingauthor (E)anationwidesearchforthemissingauthorbegan ChoiceAiswrongbecauseitcontainsasubject,search,withtwoverbsofdifferenttenses,wasand hadstarted. ChoiceBdeletesoneoftheextraverbsinchoiceAbutchangesthegrammaticalsubjectto beginning,aweakalternative. ChoiceCcontainsanerrorinverbform—willhavebeganinsteadofwillhavebegun. ChoiceDcontainsanerrorinverbform—beguninsteadofbegan. ChoiceE,aclausethatgrammaticallyandlogicallyfitsthepreviouspartofthesentence,isthebest answer. 2.Thestoryisabouthowloyaltytoafriendcancreateamoralcrisis,butwhereitchallenges conventionalvalues. (A)crisis,butwhereitchallengesconventionalvalues (B)crisis,whereasconventionalvaluesarechallenged (C)crisisinwhichconventionalvaluesarechallenged (D)crisis,andthereasonisthattheirchallengeofconventionalvalues (E)crisisbecauseinittherearechallengedconventionalvalues ChoiceAusestheconjunctionbut,whichhasnologicalmeaninginthecontextoftheentire sentence. ChoiceBuseswhereas,awordthatlacksalogicalrelationshipwiththerestofthesentence. ChoiceCcompletesthesentencegrammaticallyandlogically.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceDisasentencefragment. ChoiceEisanawkwardlywordedandalmostmeaninglessconstruction. SHIFTSINGRAMMATICALSUBJECT Stillanothertypeoffaultyparallelismoccurswhenthegrammaticalsubjectofasentenceischanged fromoneclausetoanother.Forexample: Tofixaflattire,Ijackupthecar,andthenthedamagedtireisremoved. ThesubjectofthefirstclauseisI.Inthesecondclausethesubjectistire,ashifttothepassivevoice thatweakenstheeffectivenessofthewholesentence. Tofixaflattire,Ijackupthecarandthenremovethedamagedtire. Whenthegrammaticalsubjectismaintained,parallelismisrestored,andthesentenceisactiveand concise. SampleQuestionsContainingaShiftinGrammaticalSubject Theboardrecognizestheschool’stroublesandnowagiantfund-raisingdrivewasbeingundertaken bythem. (A)nowagiantfund-raisingdrivewasbeingundertakenbythem (B)ithadundertakenagiantfund-raisingdrivenow (C)hasnowundertakenagiantfund-raisingdrive (D)nowtheyhavetakenagiantfund-raisingdrive (E)now,havingundertakenagiantfund-raisingdrive ChoiceAswitchesthegrammaticalsubjectfromboardinthefirstclausetodriveinthesecond, resultinginalong-winded,passivesentence. ChoiceBiswrongbecausesentenceiscastinthepresenttensebutshiftsimproperlytothepast perfect. ChoiceCmaintainsthesubjectandisconciselyworded.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceDcontainsthepluralpronounthey,whichfailstoagreewithitssingularantecedent,board. ChoiceEisasentencefragment. SHIFTSINVERBTENSE Sentences lose their effectiveness and sometimes their meaning when an inappropriate shift in the tenseofverbsoccursfromoneparttoanother,asin Beforeitwentoutofbusiness,thevideostoreputsitsflat-screenTVsonsale. Thesentencebeginsinthepasttense,thenshiftstothepresent.Whencastinthepasttensefromstart tofinish,thesentencereads: Beforeitwentoutofbusiness,thevideostoreputitsflat-screenTVsonsale. TheEnglishlanguageofferswritersandspeakerssixbasictensesthatconveyinformationaboutthe timewhenaneventoractiontookplace: Present: Past: Future: PresentPerfect: PastPerfect: FuturePerfect: Ieatpastaeveryday. Sheatepastaeveryday. Philwilleatpastaeveryday. Monicahaseatenpastaeveryday. Enidhadeatenpastaeveryday. Theyallwillhaveeatenpastaeveryday. Allverbsalsohaveaprogressiveform,createdbyadding–ing,sothatyoucansaythingslike: Theyareswimming.(PresentProgressive) Rosewasswimming.(PastProgressive) Thedogwillbeswimming.(FutureProgressive) Ihavebeenswimming.(PresentPerfect) Charleshadbeenswimming.(PastPerfect) Theywillhavebeenswimming.(FuturePerfect) Eachofthesetensespermitsyoutoindicatetimesequenceveryprecisely.Someonenotattunedtothe differentmeaningthateachtenseconveysmaysaysomethinglikethis: Whenherlittlebrotherwasborn,Sarahwastoilettrainedforsixmonths. Perhapsthewriter ’sintentisclearenough,butbecauseprecisionisimportant,thesentenceshould read: Whenherlittlebrotherwasborn,Sarahhadbeentoilettrainedforsixmonths. The revised version, using the past perfect verb had been, indicates that the action (Sarah’s toilet training) had taken place prior to her brother ’s birth. The original sentence actually says that her brother ’sbirthandSarah’stoilettrainingtookplaceatthesametime—aphysicalimpossibility,since pottytrainingusuallytakesweeksorevenmonths. Noticealsothedifferenceinmeaningbetweenthesetwosentences: Therewasacondowheretheparkwas. Therewasacondowheretheparkhadbeen. The meaning of the first sentence may be clear, but it says that the condo and the park were in the sameplaceatthesametime.Therevisionmoreaccuratelyconveystheideathatthecondoreplaced thepark. Thesearesubtledifferences,perhapsexplainingwhytheSATfrequentlyincludesquestions containingerrorsinverbtense.SuchitemshelptodistinguishbetweenstudentswhouseEnglish preciselyandthosewhodon’t. SampleQuestionsContainingaShiftinVerbTense 1.Jayhadbeenworkingoutintheweightroomformonthsbeforethewrestlingcoachinviteshim totryoutfortheteam. (A)inviteshimtotryout (B)hasinvitedhimtotryout (C)invitedhimtotryout (D)hadinvitedhimtotryout (E)invitinghimfortryingout ChoiceA,withaverbinthepresenttense,isinconsistentwiththepastperfecttenseoftheverbhad beenworking. ChoiceBusesthepresentperfecttenseinsteadofthepastperfecttense. ChoiceCcorrectlyconveysthesequenceofevents.Theuseofthepasttense(invited)indicatesthat Jay’sworkoutsoccurrednotonlypriortothecoach’sinvitationbutthattheywereinprogressatthe timethecoachinvitedJaytotryout. ChoiceDusesonlythepastperfecttense.Therefore,itfailstoconveytheprecisesequenceof events,asexpressedbychoiceC. ChoiceEusesfaultyidiom. 2.Thereportsaidthatyearsagocityplannershadenvisionedbuildingafacilitythatturnssalt waterintofreshwater,andfinancialwoesmakethatimpossible. (A)water,andfinancialwoesmakethatimpossible (B)water,andthatisbecomingimpossibleduetofinancialwoes (C)water,butthatitwillhavebeenmadeimpossiblebyfinancialwoes (D)water,butfinancialwoesmadethatimpossible (E)water,however,financialwoeshadmadeitimpossible ChoicesAandBcontaincoordinateclauseswithanillogicalsequenceofverbtenses.Present financialwoesareunrelatedtoplansmadeyearsinthepast. ChoiceCcontainsthepronounitthatfailstorefertospecificantecedent. ChoiceDusesanappropriateandlogicalsequenceofverbtenses.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceEcontainsacommasplicebetweenwaterandhowever. SHIFTSFROMACTIVETOPASSIVECONSTRUCTION Useactiveratherthanpassiveconstructionexceptwhen:(1)thepersonorthingperformingtheaction isunknownorinsignificant,or(2)thesentenceismeanttoemphasizethatthesubjecthasbeenacted upon. For instance, in the following passive sentence, the action (scoring touchdowns) is given greateremphasisthantheperformeroftheaction(theteam): Threetouchdownswerescoredbytheteam. Statedactively,thesentenceemphasizeswhoperformedtheaction: Theteamscoredthreetouchdowns. On the SAT, sentences that shift from active to passive, and sometimes vice-versa, often need revision,asin: AfterDanworkedalldayinthehotsun,ashowerwastakentocooloff. Ashiftfromactivetopassiveconstructionhasoccurredbetweenthesubordinateclauseandthemain clause. AfterDanworkedalldayinthehotsun,hetookashowertocooloff. Now both clauses are active; in addition, the grammatical subject has been maintained between the clauses. Throughoutthesentence-improvementsectionsoftheSAT,stayalertforpassivesentences. Considerthemfaultyunlessyouseeaclearnecessityforconstructingtheminthepassivevoice. SampleQuestionsContainingaShift fromActivetoPassiveConstruction 1.FortheThanksgivingweekend,JuliewenttoRichmond;however,forChristmasatripto Syracusewasmadebyher. (A)Richmond;however,forChristmasatriptoSyracusewasmadebyher (B)Richmond,however,forChristmasatriptoSyracusewasmadebyher (C)RichmondbutforChristmasatriptoSyracusewasmadebyher (D)Richmond,buthowever,shetookatriptoSyracuseforChristmas (E)Richmond,butforChristmasshewenttoSyracuse ChoiceAswitchesfromactivetopassiveconstructionfornologicalreason. ChoiceBislikeA,butitalsocontainsacommasplicebetweenRichmondandhowever. ChoiceCswitchesfromactivetopassiveconstructionfornologicalreason. ChoiceDmaintainsactiveconstructionbutincludestheredundancybuthowever. ChoiceEisconsistentlyactiveandisfreeofothererrors.Itisthebestanswer. 2.Becausethefactoryownersandtheiremployeesworkedtogethertoimproveefficiency,abig profitwasearned. (A)abigprofitwasearned (B)theresultwereearningabigprofit (C)thefactoryownershadearnedbigprofits (D)earningbigprofitsweretheresult (E)resultinginabigprofit ChoiceAisapassiveconstructionthatappropriatelyemphasizestheresultofanactionratherthan whoperformedit.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceBisactivebutthepluralverbwerefailstoagreewiththesingularsubjectresult. ChoiceCisactivebutcontainsanimpropershiftinverbtense. ChoiceDispassiveandcontainsasingularsubjectwithapluralverb. ChoiceEisasentencefragment. MisplacedModifiers Forclarity,modifiersshouldbeplacedascloseaspossibletothewordorwordstheyaremeantto modify.Whentheyarefarapart,sentenceslikethismayresult: ThefellowintheblueSUVwiththelonghairmustbeonhiswaytotheconcert. Theprepositionalphrasewith the long hair is meant to modify fellow, but it modifies SUV instead. Withthemisplacedphraseinitsproperplace,thesentencereads: ThefellowwiththelonghairintheblueSUVmustbeonhiswaytotheconcert. Forstillfurtherclarity,besurethatthewordbeingmodifiedisincludedinthesentence.Otherwise, youmayhaveadanglingmodifieronyourhands,asin: Rushingtoopenthedoor,therugslippedandsentKylesprawling. Accordingtothissentence,therugslippedasitrushedtoopenthedoor—notalikelyscenario.Tofix this so-called dangling modifier, the object being modified (in this case, the person rushing to the door)mustbeincludedinthemainclause. Rushingtoopenthedoor,Kyleslippedontherugandwentsprawling. Thegrammaticalsubject,Kyle,isnowproperlymodifiedbytheparticiple,Rushingtoopenthedoor. TIP DanglingModifiers Thetermdanglingmodifierreferstoaclauseorphrasethatappearstomodifyawordin asentencebutdoesn’t.Forexample: Dangling:Climbingtheladder,Pete’sheadknockedoverthepaintcan. Atfirst,thissentencemaynotstrikeyouasbizarre.Butlookagain,andyou’llnoticethat itsaysPete’sheadclimbedaladder. Revised:Climbingtheladder,Peteknockedoverthepaintcanwithhishead. AddingthenounPeteeliminatesthedanglingmodifier. SampleQuestionsContainingMisplaced andDanglingModifiers 1.Theplaquewaspresentedtotheactorthatwasengravedwithgoldletters (A)Theplaquewaspresentedtotheactorthatwasengravedwithgoldletters (B)Theplaquethatwaspresentedtotheactorengravedwithgoldletters (C)Theplaquewaspresentedtotheactorwhowasengravedwithgoldletters (D)Theplaque,engravedwithgoldletters,andpresentedtotheactor (E)Theplaquepresentedtotheactorwasengravedwithgoldletters ChoiceAiswrongbecausetheclausethatwasengravedwithgoldlettersmodifiesactorinsteadof plaque. ChoiceBcontainsthesamemisplacedmodifieraschoiceAandisalsoasentencefragment. ChoiceCisavariationofchoiceA. ChoiceDisasentencefragment. ChoiceEhasitsmodifiersintherightplaceandisacompletesentence.Itisthebestanswer. 2.DrivingtoLitchfield,thefreezingrainmadetheroadslipperyandhazardous. (A)DrivingtoLitchfield (B)WhilewedrovetoLitchfield (C)EnroutetoLitchfield (D)TodrivetoLitchfield (E)WedrovetoLitchfieldand ChoiceAcontainsadanglingmodifier.ThephraseDrivingtoLitchfieldmodifiesraininsteadof thepersonwhodidthedriving. ChoiceBcontainswe,thesubjectwhoperformedtheaction.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceCcontainsthesamedanglingmodifieraschoiceA. ChoiceDmakesnosensegrammaticallyorlogically. ChoiceEisasentenceconsistingofcoordinateclausesthatwouldbemoreeffectivelyexpressedif oneclauseweresubordinatedtotheother. PROBLEMSINSTANDARDUSAGE Subject–VerbAgreement Sentence-improvement questions on the SAT always include items that test your command of the following rule: Subjects and verbs must agree in number. A singular subject must have a singular verb,andapluralsubjectmustbeaccompaniedbyapluralverb.That’seasyenoughtoremember,but inthefollowingcircumstancesitisnotsoeasytoapply. 1.Wheninterveningwordsobscuretherelationshipbetweenthesubjectandverb,asin: Delivery(singularsubject)oftoday’snewspapersandmagazineshavebeen(pluralverb) delayed. Theprepositionalphraseoftoday’snewspapersandmagazinesblurstherelationshipbetweensubject andverb.Thepluralnounmagazinescanmisleadthewriterintousingapluralverb.Withasingular subjectandverbproperlymatched,thesentencereads: Deliveryoftoday’snewspapersandmagazineshasbeendelayed. Orwithmatchedpluralsubjectandverb: Deliveriesoftoday’snewspapersandmagazineshavebeendelayed. Awritercanalsoerrwhenwordsandphrasessuchasincluding,inadditionto,alongwith,andas wellascomebetweenthesubjectandverb. Oneofhispaintings,inadditiontoseveralphotos,isondisplayatthelibrary. ThebulkofEnglishpoetry,includingtheplaysofShakespeare,iswritteniniambicpentameter. 2.Whensubjectsarecomposedofmorethanonenounorpronoun.Forexample, a.Nouns,bothsingularandplural,whenjoinedbyand,arecalledcompoundsubjects, whichneedpluralverbs. Thepictureandthetext(compoundsubject)fit(pluralverb)insidethisbox. Severallocusttreesandagreenmailboxstandoutsidethehouse. b.Compoundsubjectsthoughtofasaunitneedsingularverbs. Greeneggsandham(compoundsubjectasaunit)is(singularverb)Sam’sfavorite breakfast. Theparents’prideandjoyoverthebirthoftheirbabyisself-evident. c.Singularnounsjoinedbyorornorneedsingularverbs. ACokeoraPepsi(twonounsjoinedbyor)is(singularverb)whatIthirstfor. Neithermyhistoryteachernormyeconomicsteacherplanstodiscussthecrisis. d.Whenasubjectconsistsofasingularnounandapluralnounjoinedbyorornor,the numberoftheverbisdeterminedbythenounclosertotheverb. Eitheronepineappleorafeworangeswereonthetable. Neitherthelinemennorthequarterbackwasawareofthetrickyplay. e.Whenasubjectcontainsapronounthatdiffersinpersonfromanounoranother pronoun,theverbmustagreewiththeclosersubjectword. NeitherMeredithnoryouareexpectedtofinishtheworktoday. EitherheorIamplanningtoworklateonSaturday. f.Whenthesubjectissingularandthepredicatenounisplural,orvice-versa,thenumber oftheverbisdeterminedbythesubject. TheextentofWilkinson’sworkistwonovelsandacollectionofstories. TwonovelsandastoryaretheextentofWilkinson’swork. 3.Whensingularsubjectscontainwordsthatsoundplural,usesingularverbs.Thenamesof books,countries,organizations,certaindiseases,coursetitles,andothersingularnouns maysoundlikepluralsbecausetheyendin–s,butmostofthetime—althoughnotalways— theyrequireasingularverb. Thenewsisgood. Measlesisgoingaroundtheschool. 4.Whenthesubjectissometimessingularandsometimesplural,thenumberoftheverb dependsonthecontext.Collectivenounssoundsingularbutmaybeplural.Afamily,for example,issingular.Butifyouarereferringtoseparateindividuals,familytakesaplural verb. Thefamily(members)arearrivingfortheweddingatdifferenttimes. Othercollectivenounsincludegroup,crowd,team,jury,audience,herd,public,dozen,class, band, flock, majority, committee, heap, and lot. Other words and expressions governed by thesameruleareunitsoftime,money,weight,measurement,andallfractions. Thejuryisgoingtodecidetoday. Thejuryarereturningtotheirhomestomorrow. 5.Whenthesubjectwordisanindefinitepronoun,suchaseveryone,both,andany,choosing thecorrectverbposesaspecialproblem.Someindefinitepronounsmustbematchedwith singularverbs,somewithpluralverbs,andsomewithoneortheother,dependingonthe senseofthesentence.There’snogettingaroundthefactthatyouneedtoknowwhich numberappliestowhichpronoun. a.Thesewords,althoughtheysoundplural,getsingularverbs:each,either,neither,the “ones”(anyone,noone,everyone,someone),andthe“bodies”(anybody,everybody, nobody,somebody). Eachmanandwomanintheroomgetsonlyonevote. Everyonewhoworkshardisgoingtoearnan“A.” b.Thesewordsgetpluralverbs:both,many,few,several. Inspiteofrumorstothecontrary,bothareonthevergeofanervousbreakdown. SeveralinthebandarenotgoingonthetriptoBoston. c.Thefollowingwordsgetsingularverbswhentheyrefertosingularnounsandplural verbswhentheyrefertopluralnouns:any,none,some,all,most. Someofthecollectionisvaluable. Inthissentence,someissingularbecauseitreferstocollection,asingularnoun. Someofthebraceletsarefake. Heresomeispluralbecauseitreferstobracelets,apluralnoun. 6.Whenthesubjectcomesaftertheverb.Whenthesubjectofasentencefollowstheverb,the verbtakesitsnumberfromthesubject,asusual. Behindthebuildingwasanalley(singularsubject). Behindthebuildingwereanalleyandavacantlot(compoundsubject). SampleQuestionsContaininganErrorinSubject–VerbAgreement 1.Afterthinkingitover,thesolutiontomostpeople’sproblemswithunwantedphonecallsare stricterlawsandCallerID. (A)thesolutiontomostpeople’sproblemswithunwantedphonecallsare (B)people’sproblemswithunwantedphonecallscanbesolvedwith (C)people’sproblemswithunwantedphonecallsaretobesolvedby (D)Ibelievethatthesolutiontomostpeople’sproblemswithunwantedphonecallsis (E)Ithinkthatthesolutiontomostpeople’sproblemswithunwantedphonecallsare ChoiceAisincorrectbecausethesubjectsolutionissingularandtheverbareisplural. ChoicesBandCarewrongbecausetheycontaindanglingmodifiers.Ineachsentencethinkingit overlacksanappropriatenounorpronountomodify. ChoiceDcontainsasingularsubjectandverbandisgrammaticallycorrect.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceEhasthesameproblemaschoiceA. 2.Insomeofthebigstateuniversitiestheproblemofgivingscholarshipsandotherrewardsto goodathleteshavegottenoutofhand. (A)ofgivingscholarshipsandotherrewardstogoodathleteshavegottenoutofhand (B)ofgivingscholarshipsandgrantingrewardsforgoodathleticabilityhavegottenoutof hand (C)ofscholarshipsandotherrewardsforgoodathleteshasgottenoutofhand (D)hasbecomeoutofhandwhenscholarshipsandrewardsforgoodathletes (E)ofrewardinggoodathleteswithscholarshipsareoutofhand ChoiceAiswrongbecauseitusesapluralverb,have,thatfailstoagreewiththesingularsubject, problem. ChoiceBisavariationofA. ChoiceCcontainsaverbthatagreesinnumberwiththesubject.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceDisanincompleteconstruction. ChoiceEiswrongbecauseitusesapluralverb,are,thatdoesn’tagreeinnumberwiththesingular subject,problem. PracticeinEstablishingNoun–VerbAgreement Directions:Insomeofthefollowingsentences,nounsandverbsdonotagree.Locatetheerrorand writethecorrectedversioninthespaceprovided.Somesentencesmaybecorrect. 1.Tucker ’stalentinchessandweightlifting,twoofourschool’smostpopularteams,provehis mentalandphysicalstrength. 2.Thebooktoldstoriesofthirteenyoungheroes,eachamemberofafirefightingteam,whodies fightingforestfires. 3.Attheendoftheseason,theteam,regardlessofwhethertheywinthechampionship,aresplitting up. 4.EitherDonoryouisgoingtoleadtheclassdiscussiononTuesday. 5.JaneandMark,whobegantheiryardcleanupbusinesslastspring,havedecidedtohiretwonew helpers. 6.Thereismanylevelsonwhichareaderwillbeabletoenjoythisbook. 7.Admissionproceedsfromtheconcertisgoingtowardrebuildingthegazebo,burneddownby vandalsduringthesummer. 8.Thenewspaperreportsthatarescueteamexperiencedinclimbingruggedmountainsare expectedtoarriveatthesiteofthecrashtomorrowmorning. 9.Beforetheywerelaidoffbythecompany,neithertheassistantmanagersnorMr.McCallumwere toldthattheirjobswereindanger. 10.ManyDemocraticsenatorscontendthatreformsinthetaxsystemhasnotbroughtaboutthe economicgrowththathadbeenpredicted. 11.Learningtoreadthedailyboxscoresprintedinthenewspaperisadesirablethingtodobyany fanwhoexpecttodevelopadeepunderstandingofbaseball. 12.PoliticsonboththenationalandlocallevelhavealwaysbeenoneofDave’spassions. 13.CharlesDarwin,alongwithhiscontemporary,AbrahamLincoln,areamongthemost impressivefiguresinnineteenth-centuryhistory. 14.KatieGreen,oneofthehottestjazzpianistsintownandknownforsomethingshecalls“3-D playing,”andheraccompanistLennyisplanningtotourtheSouthinMay. 15.Nancy,alongwithherfriendSluggo,appeartobecomingdowntheescalator. 16.Thesaleofcomputersinamarketthathasnearlyabillionpotentialcustomershavecreated enormoushopeforthecompany’sfuture. 17.Here’sthetwostatutestowhichthedefenselawyerreferredduringthetrial. 18.Thecommissioner ’sinsistenceonhighethicalstandardsaretransformingthecity’spolice force. 19.Nooneinthedrumcorps,inspiteofhowtheyallfeelabouttheissue,wanttoparticipateinthe rally. 20.Accordingtoschoolpolicy,thereistobetwosecurityguardsstationedintheplayground duringrecesstoprotectthechildren. FaultyVerbForms Verbtensesconveyinformationaboutwhenanactionoccurs.Toexpresspastaction,add-ed to the presentform:walk/walked,cry/cried,type/typed.Toexpressfutureaction,addwillbeforethepresent tense: will walk, will cry, will type. For present perfect, past perfect, and future perfect forms, add have,has,had,orwillhave,asinhavewalked,hascried,hadtyped,andwillhavearrived. Aproblemarises,however,withirregularverbs—thoseverbsthatdon’tfollowtheusualpattern. Theverbtochoose,forexample,ischooseinthepresent,choseinthepast,andchoseninits participle,or“perfect”form.Sentenceerrorsoccurwhenthewrongformisused. Anothererror—usuallyasentencefragment—occurswhenawritertriestousean-ingformofa verbasasentence’smainverb,asin: Julie,attheboxoffice,sellingmovieticketstothe7:00show. Theproblemisthatthe–ingformcannotbeusedasthemainverbunlessaccompaniedbyahelping verb,asin: Julie,attheboxoffice,hasbeensellingmovieticketstothe7:00show. Theadditionofthehelpingverbhasbeencorrectstheerror.Otherhelpingverbsincludeis,was,will be,andotherformsoftheverbtobe. SampleQuestionsContainingFaultyVerbForms 1.Inspiteofthecoldanddiscomfortofthejourney,Maxwasgladtohaveunderwentthe experienceofseeingthenorthernlights. (A)tohaveunderwenttheexperienceofseeing (B)havingunderwenttheexperienceofseeing (C)tohaveundergonetheexperienceofseeing (D)toseeduringtheexperienceof (E)undergoingtheexperienceofseeing ChoiceAiswrongbecauseituseshaveunderwent,anonstandardformoftheverbtoundergo.Use haveundergoneinstead. ChoiceBisavariationofchoiceA. ChoiceCusestheverbinitsproperform.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceDusesfaultyidiomandmakeslittlesense. ChoiceEimproperlyusesan–ingformofaverbwithoutahelpingverb. 2.BrianWilliams,theTVanchorman,skillfullyprobinghisguest’sknowledgeofthescandal, butshowinggreattactbecausehedidn’twanttojeopardizehischanceforanewsscoop. (A)skillfullyprobinghisguest’sknowledgeofthescandal,butshowing (B)whoskillfullyprobedhisguest’sknowledgeofthescandal,butshowing (C)skillfullyprobedhisguest’sknowledgeofthescandal,showed (D)hewasskilledinprobinghisguest’sknowledgeofthescandal,andshowed (E)skillfullyprobinghisguest’sknowledgeofthescandal,showed ChoicesAandBaresentencefragments.Neitherhasamainverb. ChoiceCisanincompleteconstruction.Itlacksaconjunctionbeforetheverbshowed. ChoiceDisamixedconstruction.Theconstructionhewasskilledlacksagrammaticalrelationship totheearlierpartofthesentence. ChoiceEisfreeofgrammaticalerrors.Itisthebestanswer. Stillothererrorsinvolvingverbsoccurwhenthewriterusesthewrongtense. UseofPronouns AdozencommonEnglishpronouns—I,me,he,she,him,her,it,they,them,we,us, and you—cause moretroublethanalmostanyotherwordsinthelanguage.Almostastroublesome—butnotquite— arethepossessivepronounsmy,mine,his,her,hers,your,yours,our,ours,their,andtheirs. Faultyusageresultsmostoften: •Whenpronounsinthewrong“case”arechosen •Whenpronounsinthewrong“person”arechosen •Whenpronounsfailtoagreeinnumberorgenderwiththeirantecedents •Whenthepronounreferenceisunclearorambiguous FAULTYPRONOUNCASE Most of the time you can probably depend on your ear to tell you what’s right and wrong. For example,you’dneversaytothebusdriver,“LetIoffatthecorner.”Butwhenyoucan’tdependonthe soundofthewords,ithelpstoknowthatthosetwelvepronounsfallintotwogroups. Group1 I he she it they we you Group2 me him her it them us you In grammatical terms, the pronouns in Group 1 are in the nominative case (sometimes called subjectivecase);pronounsinGroup2areintheobjectivecase. Rememberthatyoumustn’tmixpronounsfromdifferentcasesinthesamephrase.Youmaynot, forexample,usesuchpairsassheandthemortheyandus.Anytimeyouneedapairofpronounsand youknowthatoneofthemiscorrect,youcaneasilypicktheotherfromthesamegroup.Ifyou’renot sureofeitherpronoun,though,substituteIormeforoneofthepronouns.IfIseemstofit,you’rein Group1;ifmefitsbetter,useGroup2. Elvisaskedthat(he,him)and(she,her)practicehandstands. Ifyouinsertmeinplaceofoneofthepronouns,you’llget: Elvisaskedthatmepracticehandstands. Becausenoonewouldsaythatseriously,Imustbethewordthatfits.Sothepronounsyouneedcome fromGroup1,andthesentenceshouldread: Elvisaskedthatheandshepracticehandstands. Now,ifyoucanrememberafewmorerules,you’llbewellpreparedtodealwithpronounerrors ontheSAT. 1.Usenominativecasepronounsforthesubjectofsentencesandforpredicatenominatives. Thetermpredicatenominativereferstowordsnotinthesubjectofthesentencethatidentify, define,ormeanthesameasthesubject. ThenheandIwenthome.(heandI=subject)TheinstructorsinthecoursewereDonaldandhe. (instructors=subject;Donaldandhe=predicatenominative) 2.Useobjectivecasepronounsinphrasesthatbeginwithprepositions,asin: betweenyouandme toSherryandher amonguswomen atus fromherandhim withmeandyou 3.Useobjectivecasepronounswhenthepronounreferstoapersontowhomsomethingisbeing done: Terryinvitedhimtotheprom. Thewaitergaveherandmeapieceofcake. 4.Tofindthecorrectpronouninacomparison,completethecomparisonusingtheverbthat wouldfollownaturally: Jackierunsfasterthanshe(runs). MybrotherhasbiggerfeetthanI(do). Carolisastoughashe(is). AwomansuchasI(am)couldsolvetheproblem. 5.Whenapronounappearssidebysidewithanoun(weboys,uswomen),deletingthenounwill helpyoupickthecorrectpronoun: (We,Us)seniorsdecidedtotakeadayofffromschoolinlateMay.(Deletingseniorsleaves Wedecidedto…). Thisawardwaspresentedto(we,us)studentsbythefaculty.(Deletingstudentsleavesaward waspresentedtousbythe…). 6.Usepossessivepronouns(my,our,your,his,her,their)beforeagerund,anounthatlookslikea verbbecauseofits–ingending. Heraskingthequestionshowsthatsheisalert.(Askingisagerund.) Motherwasupsetaboutyouropeningthepresentstoosoon.(Openingisagerund.) TIP WhatIsaGerund? Agerundisaverbformthatendsin-ingandisusedasanoun. Fishingismygrandpa’sfavoritepastime. HestartedfishingasaboyinNorthCarolina. Asaresultofallthatfishing,hehatestoeatfish. In all three sentences the gerund is derived from the verb to fish. Don’t confuse gerundswiththeparticipleformofverbs,asin: Participle:Fishingfromthebankoftheriver,myGrandpacaughtacatfish. Gerund:FishingfromthebankofariverismyGrandpa’sgreatestpleasure. Noteverynounwithan–ingendingisagerund.Sometimesit’sjustanoun,asinthing,ring, spring.Atothertimes,–ingwordsareverbs,inparticular,they’reparticiplesthatmodifypronounsin theobjectivecase. Ihopeyoudon’tmindmyintrudingonyourconversation.(Hereintrudingisagerund.) Ihopeyoudon’tmindmeintrudingonyourconversation.(Hereintrudingisaparticiple.) SampleQuestionContainingFaultyPronounChoice(Case) TheregistrationfeeinNewYorkishigherthantheamountpaidbyRosemaryandIinVermont. (A)thantheamountpaidbyRosemaryandI (B)incomparisontothefeepaidbyRosemaryandI (C)thanthatwhichRosemaryandmepay (D)thanthefeeRosemaryandmepaid (E)thantheoneRosemaryandIpaid ChoicesAandBareincorrectbecauseeachcontainsaphrasebeginningwiththeprepositionby, whichcallsforpronounsintheobjectivecase.UsemeinsteadofI. ChoicesCandDcallforpronounsinthenominativecase.UseIinsteadofme. ChoiceEusestheproperpronoun.Itisthebestanswer. PracticeinChoosingtheCaseofPronouns Directions:Circlethecorrectpronounineachofthefollowingsentences. 1.Judithtookmysisterand(I,me)tothemagicshowlastnight. 2.WethoughtthatMatildaandJorgewouldbethere,andsureenough,wesaw(she,her)and (he,him)sittinginthefrontrow. 3.Duringtheintermission,Jorgecameoverandaskedmysisterand(I,me)togooutafterthe show. 4.Betweenyouand(I,me)themagicianwasterrible. 5.Itmustalsohavebeenabadeveningfor(he,him)andhisassistant,Roxanne. 6.Tryingtopullarabbitoutofahat,Roxanneand(he,him)knockedoverthetable. 7.Whenheaskedforaudienceparticipation,mysisterand(I,me)volunteeredtogoonstage. 8.HesaidthatinmypocketIwouldfind$10inchangetosplitbetween(I,me)andmysister. 9.Whenthecoinsfelloutofhissleeve,theaudiencelaughedevenharderthan(we,us). 10.IfIwere(he,him),I’dpracticeforalongtimebeforethenextperformance. SHIFTINPRONOUNPERSON Pronounsarecategorizedbyperson: First-personpronouns:I,we,me,us,mine,our,ours Second-personpronouns:you,your,yours Third-personpronouns:she,he,it,one,they,him,her,them,his,hers,its,their,theirs,ours Indefinite pronouns such as all, any, anyone, each, none, nothing, one, several, and many are also consideredtobeinthethirdperson. Pronounsmustbeinthesamepersonastheirantecedents—thewordstheyreferto.Whena sentenceiscastin,say,thefirstperson,itshouldstayinthefirstpersonthroughout.Consistencyisthe key. Inconsistent:Whenyou(secondperson)walkyour(secondperson)doginthatpark,I(first person)mustcarryapooper-scooper. Consistent:Whenyou(secondperson)walkyour(secondperson)doginthatpark,you (secondperson)mustcarryapooper-scooper. The need to be consistent applies also to the use of indefinite pronouns, particularly when a writer switchesfromsingulartopluralpronounsinmid-sentence: Inconsistent:Ifsomeonetriestowriteapersuasiveessay,theyshouldatleastincludea convincingargument. Consistent:Ifonetriestowriteapersuasiveessay,oneshouldatleastincludeaconvincing argument. SampleQuestionsContainingSwitchinPronounPerson Themoreyoutravelaroundthecountry,themoreourhorizonsandoutlookexpand. (A)Themoreyoutravelaroundthecountry (B)Themorewetravelaroundthecountry (C)Themoreonetravelsaroundthecountry (D)Asmoretravelingisdonearoundthecountry (E)Astheytravelmorearoundthecountry ChoiceAisincorrectbecausethesecond-personpronounyoushiftstothefirst-personpronounour inthesecondclause. ChoiceBconsistentlyusestwopluralpronounsinthefirstperson.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceCswitchesfromthesingularpronounonetothepluralpronounourinthesecondclause. ChoiceDusesthepronounourthatfailstorefertoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. ChoiceEimproperlyusesthethird-personpronountheytorefertothefirst-personpronounour. PRONOUN–ANTECEDENTAGREEMENT Singularpronounsmusthavesingularantecedents;pluralpronouns,pluralantecedents.Errorsoccur when antecedents are indefinite, as in each, neither, everyone (also no one, someone, anyone), and everybody(alsonobody,somebody,andanybody).Notetheproblemofpronoun-antecedentagreement inthesesentences: Everybodyisstickingtotheirsideofthestory. Anybodycanpassthiscourseiftheystudyhard. Neitherteacherplanstochangetheirpolicyregardinglatepapers. Properlystated,thesentencesshouldread: Everybodyisstickingtohissideofthestory. Anybodycanpassthiscourseifshestudieshard. Neitherteacherplanstochangehispolicyregardinglatepapers. Some people, objecting to the use of specific gender pronouns, prefer the cumbersome and tacky phrase“heorshe,”butmostgoodwritersavoidusingit. Stillotherwordsmaysoundsingularbutarepluralincertaincontexts: Theaudienceshoweditsrespectforthequeenbywithholdingapplauseuntiltheendofher speech. Theaudiencewasaskedtoturnofftheircellphonesduringtheperformance. Theseniorclassposedforitspicture. Theseniorclasshadtheirportraitstakenfortheyearbook. SampleQuestionContainingFaultyPronoun– AntecedentAgreement The Army, which paid soldiers large bonuses to re-enlist when their tours of duty were over, changedthispolicybeginningwhentheirbudgetwascut. (A)changedthispolicybeginningwhentheirbudgetwascut (B)beginstochangethispolicywhentheirbudgetwascut (C)begantochangethispolicywhenitsbudgetwascut (D)itchangedthispolicywhentheirbudgetwascut (E)beginningtochangeitspolicy,thebudgetwascut ChoiceAiswrongbecauseitusesthepluralpronountheirtorefertothesingularnounArmy. ChoiceBcontainsashiftinverbtensefrompasttopresent. ChoiceCusesthesingularpronounittorefertothesingularnounArmy.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceDcontainsacommasplice. ChoiceEcontainstwopartsthatlackbothagrammaticalandalogicalrelationtoeachother. PracticeinRecognizingPronounShift andPronounAgreement Directions: Some of the following sentences contain shifts in pronoun person or errors in agreement between pronouns and antecedents. Make all appropriate corrections in the spaces provided.Alteronlythosesentencesthatcontainerrors. 1.TheEnglishteacherannouncedthateveryoneintheclassmustturnintheirtermpapersnolater thanFriday. 2.Whenyouarefiredfromajob,apersoncollectsunemployment. 3.Thelibraryputtheircollectionofrarebooksondisplay. 4.Eachofmysistersowntheirowncar. 5.Inthatclass,ourteacherheldconferenceswithusonceaweek. 6.Inordertokeepyourselfinshape,oneshouldworkouteveryday. 7.TheteacherdictatesasentenceinFrench,andeachofthestudentswriteitdowninEnglishand handitin. 8.Eachhorseintheprocessionfollowedtheirridersdowntothecreek. 9.Theschool’schessteamhasjustwontheirfirstmatch. 10.Whenoneisvisitingtheparkandyoucan’tfindarestroom,theyshouldaskaparkranger. FAULTYPRONOUNREFERENCE Sentences in which a pronoun fails to refer specifically to a noun or another pronoun, called an antecedent, can cause confusion or fail to convey the writer ’s intention. Some references are ambiguousbecausethepronounseemstorefertooneormoreantecedents: Theteacher,Ms.Taylor,toldKarenthatitwasherresponsibilitytohandoutcompositionpaper. Whoisresponsible?TheteacherorKaren?It’simpossibletotellbecausethepronounhermayrefer toeitherofthem.Revised,thesentencemightread: Ms.TaylortoldKarenthatitwasherresponsibilityastheteachertohandoutcompositionpaper. A sentence containing two or more pronouns with ambiguous references can be especially troublesomeandunclear: MikebecameagoodfriendofMark’safterhehelpedhimrepairhiscar. Whose car needed fixing? Who helped whom? To answer these questions, the sentence needs to be rewritten: MikeandMarkbecamegoodfriendsafterMarkhelpedMikerepairhiscar. Thisversionisbetter,butit’sstilluncertainwhoownedthecar.Onewaytosetthemeaningstraightis tousemorethanonesentence: WhenMarkneededtorepairhiscar,Mikehelpedhimdothejob.Afterwards,MikeandMark becamegoodfriends. Tobecorrect,apronounshouldreferdirectlyandclearlytoaspecificnounoranotherpronoun,orit should refer by implication to an idea. Such implied references frequently involve the pronouns it, they, and you, and the relative pronouns which, that, and this, and cause trouble mostly when the pronounisusedtorefertorathergeneralorambiguousideas,asin: Homelesspeopleallegethatthemayorisindifferenttotheirplight,whichhasbeendisproved. Whathasbeendisproved?Thatanallegationwasmade?Thatthemayorisindifferent?Theintended meaningisunclearbecausewhichhasnodistinctantecedent.Toclearuptheuncertainty,thesentence mightread: Homelesspeopleallegethatthemayorisindifferenttotheirplight,buttheallegationhasbeen disproved. SampleQuestionContaininganAmbiguous PronounReference Ricky,Marti,andSteveweredrivingnonstopfromNewYorktoChicagowhen,fallingasleepat thewheel,hedrovethecarofftheroad. (A)when,fallingasleepatthewheel,hedrovethecarofftheroad (B)andthenhedrovethecarofftheroadafterfallingasleepatthewheel (C)whenRickydrovethecarofftheroadafterfallingasleepatthewheel (D)whenRickydrovethecarofftheroad,sincehefellasleepatthewheel (E)and,sinceRickyhasfallenasleepatthewheel,hedrovethecarofftheroad ChoicesAandBareincorrectbecauseineachsentencethepronounhefailstorefertoaspecific nounorotherpronoun. ChoiceCavoidsthepronoun-referenceproblembyusingtheRickyinsteadofhe.Itisthebest answer. ChoiceDcontainsanerrorinverbtense.BecauseRickyhadfallenasleepbeforehedrovethecar offtheroad,usehadfalleninsteadoffell. ChoiceE,acompoundsentence,wouldbemoreeffectivelyexpressedwithoneindependentclause andtwosubordinateclauses. PracticeinIdentifyingFaultyPronounReference Directions:Eachofthefollowingsentencessuffersfromapronounproblem.Pleaseeliminatethe problembyrevisingeachsentence.Usetheblankspacestowriteyouranswers. 1.WhenweteenagersloiteroutsidethetheateronFridaynight,theygiveyouahardtime. 2.Iansweredthetestquestions,collectedmypencilsandpens,andhandedthemin. 3.BarbaratoldKenthatshewantedonlyashortweddingtriptoFlorida,whichliesattherootof theirproblem. 4.Hisfatherlethimknowthathehadonlyanhourtogettotheairport. 5.DuringDr.Rice’stenureinoffice,shetraveledmorethananyothersecretaryofstate. 6.Henry,anambulancedriver,disapprovedofwarbutdroveittothefrontlinesanyway. 7.Afterthecampustour,MiketoldToddthathethoughthe’dbehappygoingtoAuburn. 8.Peggy’scarhitatruck,butitwasn’tevendented. 9.Withinthelastmonth,Andy’solderbrotherPetefoundanewjob,brokehislegskiing,andgot marriedtoFelicia,whichmadetheirparentsveryhappy. 10.EddiegrewfondofthenovelsofJohnSteinbeckbecausehehadlivedinCalifornia. FaultyComparisons Thesentence-improvementquestionsontheSATwillalmostcertainlytestyourunderstandingofthe rulesgoverningtheuseofcomparisons.Inadditiontoknowingaboutcomparativedegrees,youneed toknowthatcomparisons(1)needtobecomplete,(2)mustbestatedinparallelform,and(3)must pertaintothingsthatmaylogicallybecompared. Mostcomparisonsaremadebyusingdifferentformsofadjectivesoradverbs. Thedegreeofcomparisonisindicatedbytheending(usually–erand–est)orbytheuseofmoreor most(orlessandleast).TheEnglishlanguageoffersthreedegreesofcomparison,calledpositive, comparative,andsuperlative. Positive tall dark Comparative taller darker handsome handsomerormorehandsomest graceful prepared happily moregraceful lessprepared morehappily Superlative tallest darkest handsomerormost handsome mostgraceful leastprepared mosthappily Somewordsdeviatefromtheusualpattern.Forexample: good well bad little much many better better worse less more more best best worst least most most Usethefollowingguidelinestohuntdownerrorsincomparativedegree: 1.Toformthecomparativeandsuperlativedegreeofone-syllablewords,add–eror–esttothe positiveform(brave,braver,bravest;late,later,latest). 2.Toformthecomparativeandsuperlativedegreesofmosttwo-syllablewords,usemoreor most,orlessandleast(morefamous,mostnauseous,lessskillful,leastjagged).Sometwo- syllablewordsfollowtheguidelinesforwordsofonesyllable(pretty,prettier,prettiest), althoughyouwouldn’terrbyapplyingtherulefortwo-syllablewords(morepretty,most pretty). 3.Toformthecomparativeandsuperlativedegreeofthree-syllablewordsandofallwords endingin–ly,usemoreandmost,orlessandleast(beautiful,morebeautiful,mostbeautiful; gladly,moregladly,mostgladly). 4.Tocomparetwothingsusethecomparativedegree,buttocomparethreeormorethingsuse thesuperlativedegree. Myyoungersistertakesdancinglessons.(Thewriterhastwosisters.) Myyoungestsistertakesswimminglessons.(Thewriterhasatleastthreesisters.) 5.Nevercreateadoublecomparisonbyputtingwordslikemore,most,less,andleastinthesame phrasewithwordsinthecomparativeorsuperlativedegrees.Forexample,avoidmore friendlier,lessprouder,mostsweetest,leastsafest.Suchusagesarebothungrammaticaland redundant.Instead,useadjectivesandadverbsinthepositivedegree:morefriendly,lessproud, moresweet,leastsafe. INCOMPLETECOMPARISONS In everyday speech, people give emphasis to their opinions by saying things like “We had the best time”and“Thatwastheworstaccident!”Neitherstatementiscomplete,however,becausetechnically the“best”timemustbecomparedtoothertimes,andthe“worst”accidentmustbecomparedtoother accidents. Anincompletecomparisonmadecolloquiallymaysuffernolossofmeaning,butstandardwritten usagecallsforunmistakableclarity.OntheSATyoumayfindsentencesthatomitsomewordsneeded tomakeacomparisonclear: MimivisitedheragedauntlongerthanKathy. ThiscouldmeaneitherthatMimispentalongertimewithherauntthanKathydid,orthatMimispent moretimewithherauntthanshespentwithKathy.Toeliminatetheambiguity,simplycompletethe comparison: MimivisitedheragedauntlongerthanshevisitedKathy. A comparison using as usually requires a repetition of the word: as good as gold, as fast as a speedingbullet,ashighasakite. Incomplete:Ontheexam,NicoleexpectstodoaswellifnotbetterthanNat. Complete:Ontheexam,Nicoleexpectstodoaswellas,ifnotbetterthan,Nat. Forthesakeofcompleteness,whenyoucompareonethingtoagroupofwhichitisapart,besure touseotherorelse. LieutenantHenrywasbraverthananypilotinthesquadron. This suggests that Henry may not have been a member of the squadron. If he belonged to the squadron,however,addothertocompletethecomparison: LieutenantHenrywasbraverthananyotherpilotinthesquadron. Similarly,noticethedifferencebetweenthesetwosentences: Dianatalksmorenonsensethananyoneintheclass. Dianatalksmorenonsensethananyoneelseintheclass. OnlythesecondsentencemakesclearthatDianaisamemberoftheclass. ILLOGICALCOMPARISONS Logicbreaksdownwhentwoormoreunlikethingsarecompared. Boston’sharborisreportedtobemorepollutedthananycityinthecountry. This sentence is meant to compare pollution in the Boston harbor with pollution in the harbors of other cities. Instead, it compares Boston’s harbor with a city, an illogical comparison. Properly expressed,itwouldreadthisway: Boston’sharborisreportedtobemorepollutedthantheharborofanyothercityinthecountry. Similarly,notethedifferencebetweenthesetwosentences. Unlikemostcarsontheblock,ElliehasherToyotawashedalmosteveryweek. Ellie’sToyota,unlikemostcarsontheblock,iswashedalmosteveryweek. The first sentence is intended to compare Ellie’s car with the other cars on the block. But it nonsensicallycomparesEllietotheothercars. SampleQuestionsContainingFaultyComparisons 1.AmoreeasieranddirectrouteexistbetweenMt.KiscoandPleasantvillethantheonewetook. (A)Amoreeasieranddirectrouteexist (B)Aneasieranddirectrouteexist (C)Aneasierandmoredirectrouteexists (D)Easieranddirecterroutesexist (E)Abothmoreeasyandamoredirectrouteexists ChoiceAcontainsthephrasemoreeasier,whichisbotharedundancyandanexampleoffaulty diction. ChoiceBcontainsanerrorinparallelism.Easier,anadjectiveinthecomparativedegree,isnot parallelinformtodirect.Usemoredirect. ChoiceCaccuratelyandgrammaticallyconveysthemeaningofthesentence.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceDusesdirecter,notastandardEnglishword,insteadofmoredirect. ChoiceEiswordy.Bothandtherepetitionofmoreareunnecessary. 2.EltonJohncombinesvarioustechniquesofsingingandpianoplayingaseffortlesslyasanypop stareverhas. (A)aseffortlesslyasanypopstareverhas (B)aseffortlesslyasanyotherpopstareverhas (C)effortlessly,asanypopstarhas (D)aseffortlesslylikeanyotherpopstareverhas (E)aseffortlessly,ifnotmoreso,thananypopstareverhas ChoiceAisincorrectbecauseitomitsother,awordthatmustbeusedwhencomparingonething withagroupofwhichitisamember.Useasanyother. ChoiceBexpressesthecomparisoncorrectly.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceCusesawkwardlanguagethatobscuresthemeaningofthesentence. ChoiceDuseslikeinsteadofas.Uselike,apreposition,tointroduceaphrase;useastointroducea clause. ChoiceEfailstocompletethecomparisonbecauseitomitsthesecondas.Useaseffortlesslyas. AReview Whilelookingforerrorsinsentence-improvementquestions,usethischecklistasaguide. Verbs.Checkthetense,agreementwiththesubject,andparallelism. Nouns.Checkthenumber,agreementwiththeverb,parallelism,andwordchoice. Pronouns.Checkthecase,number,agreementwithantecedent,referencetoanounor anotherpronoun,agreementwithverb,andparallelstructure. Adjectives.Checkthemodificationandcomparativedegree. Adverbs.Checkmodificationofverbs. Phrases.Checkparallelstructureandsentencestructure. Clauses.Checkcompleteness,coordination,andsubordination. Participles.Checkmodification. Punctuation.Checkuseofcommasandsemicolons.Alsosentencestructure,including run-ons,fragments,andcommasplices. IdentifyingSentenceErrors In this section of the SAT, you are given eighteen sentences, most of which contain an error in grammar,usage,orstyle.Yourjobistoidentifywhichunderlinedportionofeachsentencecontains theerror.Somesentenceshavenoerror. SampleQuestion thetwostories,theclass thatthe wasthe The sentence contains an error in comparison. When you compare two things, use words in the comparative degree, such as better, lighter, and more able. But when you compare more than two things,usewordsinthesuperlativedegree,suchasbest,lightest,andmostable.Inthesentence,two storiesarebeingcompared.Thereforeusebetterinsteadofbest.ChoiceDistherightanswer. AlthoughIdentifyingSentenceErrorsquestionsareshorterandlessinvolvedthanthoseinthe sentence-improvementsectionsoftheexam,theydealwithanequallywiderangeofgrammarand usageproblems. ThesentenceerrorsyouaremostlikelytomeetinthissectionoftheSATare: ErrorsinExpressionandStyle Faultyidiom Faultydiction Wordinessandredundancies Faultyparallelism Incompletecomparisons ErrorsinGrammarandUsage Noun–verbagreement Pronoun–antecedentagreement Faultypronounreference Shiftinpronounperson Faultypronouncase Faultyverbtense Faultyverbform ERRORSINEXPRESSIONANDSTYLE FaultyIdiom English is crammed with words, expressions, and phrases whose usage cannot be rationally explained.Wesay“three-footruler”whenwemean“three-feet.”Abuilding“burnsdown,”apieceof paper “burns up,” and a pot of stew just “burns.” Both flammable and inflammable mean the same thing—easilysetafire.Whenyoudon’tunderstandsomething,youmightsayit’s“overmyhead,”an expression that also means deep in debt. We accept these and many other linguistic quirks because theyaresimplypartofourlanguage.Likewise,nativespeakersofEnglishsaygotothemovies and arriveatthemovies.ForsomeonejustlearningEnglish,though,“arrivetothemovies”wouldmake perfectsense.Butwedon’tsayitbecauseit’snotidiomaticEnglish. OntheSAT,youmayfindsentencescontainingfaultyidiom.Toidentifyerrorsinidiomyoumust, toacertainextent,followyourinstinctsandyourearforlanguage.Therearenospecificguidelines tohelpuntangleproblemsinidiom.Anawkward-soundingwordorphrasemaybetheonlyevidence. TheFirstAmendmentisinvokedinthosetimeswhenjournalistsareaskedtodisclosetheirsources. Thephraseinthosetimesisawkward.Replaceinwithat,aprepositionthatoftenreferstotime—at fouro’clock,attheturnofthecentury.Orbetterstill,discardthephraseentirely: TheFirstAmendmentisinvokedwhenjournalistsareaskedtodisclosetheirsources. Hereisanotherexample: Aknightwasfaithfultohisking,tohischurch,andtohislady,andhewouldgladlydieinthename ofthem. Thephraseinthenameofthemisgrammaticalbutawkward. Aknightwasfaithfultohisking,tohischurch,andtohislady,andhewouldgladlydieintheir name. AlthoughmanyerrorsinEnglishidiomontheSATinvolvethefaultyuseofprepositions,you’re justaslikelytofindproblematicverbs,adverbs,andotherpartsofspeech. SampleQuestionsContainingFaultyIdiom 1. herdedicatedservicetotheSafeRidesprogram,thelocalLion’sClub presented withascholarship InstandardEnglish,thephraseInappreciationaboutshouldreadInappreciationfor.ChoiceBisthe correctanswer. 2.Mr.Andrews,thestoremanager, areready at grateful everyweekendthissummerPhilandGeorge notice. Faultyidiomresultsfromthemisuseofaverb.Insteadofforworking,usetowork. Choice C is the correctanswer. 3. amemberofthescholarlypanel,Dr.Muller astoryfilledupwith to Norsemythology. Faulty idiom results from the use of up, an unnecessary preposition. Use filled instead of filled up. ChoiceCisthecorrectanswer. PracticeinIdentifyingFaultyEnglishIdiom Directions:IdentifytheerrorsinEnglishidiominthefollowingsentences.Writerevisedversions inthespacesprovided.Somesentencesmaycontainnoerror. 1.Itwasanhonortodieatbattlefortheirreligion. 2.Aftertheceremony,thenewlywedsascendedupthestairs. 3.Ihopethattheadmissionsofficewillcomplytomyrequestforanextension. 4.Bronzewasusedbyprimitivepeoplebeforeeitherironandtin. 5.Becauseofhispreoccupationinclassicalmusic,JustinboughtasubscriptiontoSymphonyHall concerts. 6.Mostrockclimbersareluredbyeitherdangerandloveofadventure. 7.WhenLucyreturnedhome,shefeltasthoughshe’dneverbeenaway. 8.Thepossewentinpursuitafterthehorsethieves. 9.Thenewsecuritysystemuseselectroniceyescansintheidentifyingofemployees. 10.Work-studyprogramsofferopportunitiestobothstudentsandthebusinesscommunity. 11.Nonewplansweredevelopedinrespecttotheenvironment. 12.ColumbussailedwestinsearchforawaytotheIndies. 13.Thewoundedmarinecouldnotendurethatkindofapainwithoutpassingout. 14.Thechildrenwerewaitingonthebustoarrive. 15.Genericdrugsarenotnearlyasexpensivethanbrand-namedrugs. 16.BillyCollinsisregardedtobeoneofthemostpopularcontemporaryAmericanpoets. 17.Artistsmustoftenmakeachoicebetweenteachingordevotingtheirtimetocreatingart. 18.MostpeoplewhotravelatThanksgivingpreferdrivingmorethanflying. 19.Becausetheboat’senginehadfailed,thesailorwasneverfarawayfromharmduringthestorm. 20.AlthoughJackie’stermpaperwasneitherwellwrittenorfullyresearched,itsgradewasA+. FaultyDiction Faulty diction means faulty word choice. It occurs, say, when good is used instead of well after a certainverb,orwhenwhereisusedinsteadofwhen,asin“thetimewherehetookthebustoJersey.” The English language offers abundant opportunities to choose incorrect words, but on the SAT the rangeislimitedtocommonlymisusedwords.Forinstance,usewhoinsteadofwhichwhenreferring topeople: BrianwasoneofseveraljournalistswhowerekilledduringthewarinIraq. Usewhichwhenreferringtoanimalsandnonlivingthings,asin: Censorsbleepedobscenitiesoutofthefilm’sTVversion,whichdisturbedfree-speechadvocates. Thatmaybeusedtorefertopeopleaswellastoanimalsandnonlivingthings: Pedestriansthatjaywalkputtheirlivesatrisk. Itmaylookharmless,butpoisonoakisaplantthatinfectstheskinwithsevererashesand itching. Sometimes,thechoiceofwordsisatoss-up.It’sfinetosay“Thosearethegeesewhoaredamaging thegrass,”butit’salsoacceptabletosay“Thosearethegeesethataredamagingthegrass.”Because bothusagesarestandard,theSATwon’taskyoutomakedecisionsaboutissueslikethat. SampleQuestionsContainingFaultyDiction 1.Although forbeingacroonerofoldsongs,TonyBennett watercolors, enjoyedconsiderablesuccess. The word whereas, meaning “although” or “considering that” is improperly used in the context. Because the writer probably meant to say with which or perhaps whereby, choice C is the correct answer. 2.Schoolteachers encouraged tokeepthemselvesup-to-date educationaltechnology in-servicecoursesandworkshops. Thewriterhasimproperlyusedwhichinsteadofwhotorefertoschoolteachers.Althoughsomemay regardschoolteachersassomethingotherthanhuman,ontheSATtheyshouldbeconsideredpeople. ChoiceAisthecorrectanswer. 3.A“fault”intennis the theball totheopposingplayerlandsoutsidethelines oftheservicebox. Theconstructioniswhenisanerrorindictionbecauseyoucan’tdefineanounwithaclausebutonly withanothernoun.InstandardEnglish,thesentencemightreadsomethinglike“A‘fault’intennisisa strokethatfallsoutside….” Anothercommonerrorindictionoccurswhenanadjectiveisusedwhereanadverbisneeded.The reverse—usinganadverbwhereanadjectivebelongs—alsooccurs,butlessoften.Partofyour preparationfortheSATshouldincludepracticeinusingadjectivesandadverbsproperly. Tobegin,identifytheerrorsinthesetwosentences: Childrenaddictedtotelevisionoftenbehaveviolentintheclassroom. IfeelbadlythatRandyperformedbadonthetest. Ifyouspottedtheerrors,youshouldhavenotroublewithsimilaritemsontheSAT.Andifyouknew whyviolent should be violently and that bad and badly should switch places, you’re probably up to paronadjectiveandadverbusage.Butifyoudidn’tnoticeorcouldn’texplaintheerrors,youshould definitelyreadon. Adjectivesarewordsthatdescribe,ormodify,nounsandpronouns.Goodisanexample,asingood apple,goodbook,andgoodnight.That’seasyenough,butgood,alongwithsomeotheradjectives, sometimescausestroublewhenusedafteraverb.Goodshouldnotbeusedaftermostverbs,soavoid talksgood,drivesgood,writesgood,andsoon. Here’sthecatch:Goodmaybeusedaftersomeverbs,calledlinkingverbs,amongthemlook,smell, taste,feel,appear,stay,seem,remain,grow,become,andallformsoftobe.Therefore,it’scorrectto saysoundsgood,feelsgood,andisgood.(Noticethatlinkingverbsoftenrefertothesenses.) Andtocomplicatemattersstillmore,linkingverbsaresometimesusedasactiveverbs.Lookisa linkingverbwhenitreferstotheappearanceofthings,asinThedaylooksgoodforjogging.Butitis anactiveverbwhenitreferstotheactoflooking,asinMargielookedsadlyathersickdog.Ifyou’re notsurewhetheraverbisusedasalinkingverborasanactiveverb,substituteaformoftheverbto be.Ifthesentenceretainsitsbasicmeaning,theverbisprobablyalinkingverb,asinThejuicetastes good/Thejuiceisgood.Ifthemeaningislost,itisanactiveverb,asinHefeelsbadlyaboutyourloss. Becauseyouwouldn’tsayHeisbadlyaboutyourloss,feelsisanactiveverbinthatsentence. Adverbsarewordsthatdescribe,ormodify,verbs,adjectives,orotheradverbs,andcanoftenbe identifiedbytheir–lyendings.MostofthetimetheyanswersuchquestionsasHow?When?How much?Where?Inwhatsequence?Towhatextent?Inwhatmanner?Forexample: Howdoesthegrasslook?Itlooksmostlybrown.(Theadverbmostlymodifiestheadjective brown.) WhendoesRogerrun?Heusuallyrunsinthemorning.(Theadverbusuallymodifiestheverb runs.) Howmuchdiditrain?Itrainedenoughtofloodthecellar.(Theadverbenoughmodifiestheverb rained.) WhenyouneedtochoosebetweenanadjectiveandanadverbontheSAT,followthisprocedure: Findtheverbanddeterminewhetheritisalinkingverb.Ifitis,usetheadjective;ifitisn’t,usethe adverb.Moreoftenthannot,theverbislikelytobeoneofthosethatissometimesactiveand sometimeslinking.So,checkitbysubstitutingaformoftobe,asdescribedearlier.Youcanalso checkitsmodification.Ifitmodifiesanadjectiveoranotheradverb,usetheadverb.Ifitmodifiesa nounorpronoun,usetheadjective. TIP NotetotheReader Ifanyofthisseemsundulycomplex,you’llcatchonifyoure-readthismaterialtwoor threetimesanddothepracticeexercises. SampleQuestionsRegardingAdjective/AdverbUse 1.Alan,ourtrustymechanic,studied thathe andwithpatiencebefore acluewhattodoaboutit. The word careful is an adjective. In the context of the sentence, it modifies the verb studied. Therefore,itshouldbecarefully,anadverb.ChoiceBisthecorrectanswer. 2. ofthesurvey a of meltingglaciersinthenorthernpartof CanadaandtheArctic. Thewordconstantisanadjective.Becauseitisusedtomodifytheadjectivemelting,itshouldbean adverb—constantly.ChoiceDisthecorrectanswer. PracticeinUsingAdjectivesandAdverbs Directions:Checkeachsentenceforfaultyuseofadjectivesandadverbs.Writethecorrectwords inthespacesprovided.Somesentencesarecorrect. 1.Thenursefeltbitterlythatshehadcontractedtheflufromapatient. 2.Thereissimplynojustificationforthejudge’sruling. 3.Meredith’sbikeisold,butitridessmooth. 4.Inspiteofherheadcold,thesopranosangtheariabeautiful. 5.Thetenor ’ssingingcouldonlybedescribedashorribly. 6.TheblackMercedesdroveslowupthegraveldriveway. 7.Thecolonellookeddowncynicalonthepeopleassembledintheplaza. 8.Agnesplayedthepartofthemothersuperficially. 9.NootherbasketballteamblendsassmoothastheLakers. 10.Markalwaysfeelsgoodafteralongrunandahotshower. 11.Hewalkeddownthehallcompletelyobliviouslytothetrainofpapersheleftbehind. 12.Besurethedoorisshutsecurebecauseitoftenswingsopenbyitself. 13.Thecoachtalkedslowabouttheteam’sdeclineduringthesecondhalfoftheseason. 14.Theaudienceremainedcalmly,evenwhenthehallbegantofillrapidlywithsmoke. 15.Noproblem;Icandobothjobseasy. 16.Whenthephonerang,Bobpickeditup,optimisticallythatitwasSheilacalling. 17.WhentheycarriedTerryoffthefield,everyonethoughthewashurtbad. 18.Unfortunately,Johnneverfeelsshylyaboutreadinghispoemsaloudinpublic. 19.Amyspokesincerewhenshepromisedtorepaythemoney. 20.JilllookedmischievousatJackastheysecretlywalkedupthehill. WordinessandRedundancies Asentenceneedsrevisionwhenitincludeswordsandphrasesthatdon’taddmeaningorthatrepeator reiteratewhathasalreadybeenstated.Forexample: AnecessaryrequirementforapplyingtomostcollegesistheSAT. Animportantessentialingredientofahamburgerismeat. YoushouldreadLustforLife,thebiographyofthelifeofVincentvanGogh. Allthreesentencescontainaneedlesswordorphrase.Inthefirstsentence,omitnecessary because necessary by definition implies requirement. Therefore, necessary requirement is redundant. In the nextsentence,aningredientdescribedasessentialmustbydefinitionbeimportant,sodeletetheword important. And in the last sentence, the phrase of the life should be removed because a biography cannotbeanythingotherthanthestoryofsomeone’slife. SampleQuestionsContainingWordinessandRedundancies 1.Thecommission’sreport small thecontributionsmade bothbigcorporations tothegrowthofthenation’seconomy. Thewordbothandthephraseaswellasareredundant.Substituteandforaswellas.ChoiceCisthe correctanswer. 2. twentyyearsormoreFlorenceNightingalefought standards cleanlinessinhospitals. Thephraseasmanyasisunnecessary.Therefore,choiceAisthecorrectanswer. new PracticeinDetectingWordiness Directions:Revisethefollowingsentencesforeconomyofexpression. 1.Sheconstantlyirritatesandbothersmeallthetime. 2.Hespoketomeconcerningthematterofmyfuture. 3.Isitatruefactthattheozonelayerisbeingdepleted? 4.IthoughtthatifIdidn’ttakechemistrythatIcouldn’tgotoagoodcollege. 5.Consequently,asaresultoftheelection,thestatewillhaveitsfirstfemalegovernor. 6.Myfather ’shabitualcustomistowatchthesunsetintheWest. 7.Haroldpickedupabrushattheageoftenyearsoldandhasn’tstoppedpaintingsince. 8.Researchshowsthatavidsportsfansnotonlysufferfewerdepressions,buttheyarealso generallyhealthier,too,thanthosenotinterestedinsports. 9.Hisfieldofworkisthatofachemist. 10.Forthesecondtime,thecoughrecurredagain. FaultyParallelism Orderlyconstructionofasentencekeepsparallelideasinthesamegrammaticalform.Forexample,a sentencedescribingthecontentsofaschoollockermightreadthisway: Thelockerheldadownjacket,aromaticsweatpants,threesneakers,twoleft-handedgloves,an unusedtunasandwich,abrokenskipole,ahockeypuck,sixoverduelibrarybooks,adisposable camera,andahikingboot. Everyitemlistedisanobject,eachexpressedinthesamegrammaticalform:anounprecededbyone ortwoadjectives.Whentheownerofthelockerwrotealistoffavoritepastimes,though,thesentence lostitsbalance: Ilikeskiing,hiking,totakepictures,andrunning. Themessageisclear,butthephrase“totakepictures”isnotparallelwiththeotherphrases.Torevise it,write“takingpictures.” TorecognizefaultyparallelisminSATsentences,youshouldknowthat: 1.Ideasinaseriesshouldbeinthesamegrammaticalform,evenwhentheseriesconsistsofonly twoitems: TheneighborsobjectedtothenoisypartiesonFridaynightsandtothetrashonthelawnon Saturdaymornings. Theparallelideasareexpressedasprepositionalphrases,tothenoisypartiesandtothetrash. Aftergraduation,Nanpromisedtoturnthevolumedownandtocomehomeearlier. Eachparallelideaconsistsofaninfinitivefollowedbyanounandanadverb. 2.Incomparisons,parallelideasshouldbeinthesamegrammaticalform. Goingouttoeatnolongerthrillsmeasmuchastocookathome. Thegerundgoingmaynotbepairedwiththeinfinitivetocook. Goingouttoeatnolongerthrillsmeasmuchascookingathome. Theideasarenowstatedinparallelform. 3.Parallelideasareoftensignaledbypairsofwordslikeeither/or,neither/nor,whether/or, both/and,andnotonly/butalso.Ausageerrortowatchoutforisthemisuseofonewordinthe pair,asin: AlicewillattendneitherNYUorColumbia. Revisebychangingneithertoeither,orchangingortonor. Still another error occurs when one of the words in the pair is situated too far from the parallelideas,asin: Jakebothstartedonthebasketballandthevolleyballteams. The signal word both is too far removed from the parallel phrase, basketball and volleyball teams.Itsplacementmisleadsthereaderintothinkingthattheverbstartedisoneoftheparallel ideas.Correctlyworded,thesentencereads: Jakestartedonboththebasketballandthevolleyballteams. SampleQuestionsContainingFaultyParallelStructure 1.Oneof teacher,and greatestmusicians,LeonardBernstein acomposer, ,a Thephraseplayedthepianobrilliantlyshouldbeabrilliantpianistinordertobeparallelinformto theotheritemsintheseries.ChoiceDisthecorrectanswer. 2.Itis toswimthebreaststroke toabeginningswimmer how todo . The phrase than explaining should be to explain in order to be parallel in form to the infinitive to swim.ChoiceBisthecorrectanswer. IncompleteComparisons Sentencesusedtomakecomparisonsusuallyfollowafamiliarpatternthatrequirestheitemsbeing compared to be stated in parallel form. All words essential to completing the comparison must be presentinordertoavoidungrammaticalorillogicalcomparisons. SampleQuestionsContainingIncompleteComparisons 1. somehistorians,thequalityofFDR’spresidency onapar orbetter butnotLincoln’s. ThesentenceillogicallycomparesqualitywithWilsoninsteadofwithWilson’spresidency.Therefore, choiceisthecorrectanswer. 2.JonStewart,thecomedian,is and than television. As written, the sentence compares Stewart with all comedians on television, but Stewart cannot be funnierthanhimself.Moreover,itremainsunclearwhetherStewartisorisnotatelevisioncomedian. Tomakeapropercomparison,use“anyothercomedian.”ChoiceCisthecorrectanswer. PracticeinCompletingComparisons Directions:Findtheerrorsincomparisoninthefollowingsentences.Writethecorrectversionof thesentenceinthespaceprovided.Somesentencesmaybecorrect. 1.Janeismoreefficientthananymemberofthecommittee. 2.Andylooksmorelikehisfatherthanhisbrother. 3.InTheGreatGatsby,IdislikedDaisyasmuchasTom. 4.PhilworksfasterthanGeorgedoesonmostjobs. 5.OscarwasastiredifnotmoretiredthanPete. 6.Todotheresearchformytermpaper,IreadbooksmorethansearchingtheWeb. 7.Althoughshe’syounger,LillianlooksasoldifnotolderthanDorothy. 8.TheytalkedmoreaboutChekhov’sstoriesthanhisplays. 9.Allen’scanoewasdestroyedintherapids,justlikehispartner. 10.AfterreadingSiddhartha,IadmireHessemorethananyauthor. 11.IammoreinterestedinrapmusicthanPete. 12.Expertssaythatwalkingisbetterforyouthantojogthesamedistance. 13.Biologyismorepopularthananyscience. 14.ThestudentsrespectMs.Scotch’steachingstylemorethanMr.Green. 15.HisearswerebiggerthanDumbo. 16.IttookuslongertoreachTrentonthanCamden. 17.Whichischeaper—flyingtoWashingtonortotakethetrain? 18.Thelawyerinsistedthatherjobtookmorehoursthanateacher. 19.CarryingiPodsismorecommonamongstudentsthancellphones. 20.CindyhasappliedtoasmanycollegesifnotmorethanJoanne. ERRORSINGRAMMARANDUSAGE Noun–VerbAgreement Nouns and verbs must agree in number. That is, singular nouns must have singular verbs; plural nounsmustbeaccompaniedbypluralverbs. TheIdentifyingSentenceErrorssectionoftheSATalmostalwaysincludesquestionsthatexpect youtorecognizeagreementerrors.Sometimestheerroroccurswhenthesubjectofthesentencefails toagreewithitsverb.Justasoften,though,theerrorexistsbetweensomeothernounandverbinthe sentence.Errorsoccurmostoftenwhen: 1.Interveningwordsobscuretherelationshipbetweenthenounandverb. 2.Asingularnounsoundsasthoughitisplural. 3.Thenounisonethatcanbeeithersingularorplural,dependingonitsuse. 4.Thenouncomesaftertheverbinthesentence. SampleQuestionsContainingNoun–VerbAgreementErrors 1.Ian’sachievement inadditiontohis asaspeaker, himapopular on televisioncookingshows. The subject of the sentence is the singular noun achievement. The verb make is plural. Because the nounandverbdon’tagree,choiceisthecorrectanswer.Notethatwordsandphrasescomingbetween asubjectandaverbrarelyaffectthenumberoftheverb. 2.Behindthehouse onebroken-downshedandonepileofrubble need tothetowndump. In this sentence, the subject words (shed and pile) come after the verb (is). Because the subject is a compoundsubject(twonounsjoinedbyand),itisconsideredpluralandmustbeaccompaniedbya pluralverb.Insteadofis,useare.ChoiceAisthecorrectanswer. 3. amillionandahalfdollars theshoddyconstructionmethods onrepairingtheroad,butonlyrecently evident. Thepluralnounmethodsfailstoagreewiththesingularverbhas…become.Becausehasshouldbe have,choiceCisthecorrectanswer. Pronoun–AntecedentAgreement Likenounsandverbs,pronounsandantecedentsmustalsoagreeinnumber.Singularpronounsneed singularantecedents;pluralpronouns,pluralantecedents.TheIdentifyingSentenceErrorssectionon the SAT almost always includes one or more questions that test your ability to recognize errors in agreementbetweenpronounsandtheirantecedents. SampleQuestionsContainingErrorsinPronoun– AntecedentAgreement 1.Insomeculturesawoman aroleinlifeandis remindedof duties men. Thepluralpronountheirreferstothesingularantecedentwoman.Useherinsteadoftheir. Because thepronounandantecedentdon’tagree,choiceCisthecorrectanswer. 2.Thebranchesoftheuniversity, a“no-layoff”policy,beganchanging thepressureoffinanciallosses. The singular pronoun its fails to agree with its antecedent branches. Because their should be its, choiceCisthecorrectanswer. PracticeinRecognizingPronoun–AntecedentAgreement Directions: Check the following sentences for errors in agreement between pronoun and antecedent.Usethespaceprovidedaftereachsentencetowriteyourcorrections.Somesentences containnoerrors. 1.Thecoachsaidthateveryoneonthegirls’basketballteamwillberequiredtogettheirphysicals bythestartofpracticeonTuesday. 2.Allofhismalerelativesliveintheirowncondos. 3.Notoneofusgirlslikestohavetheirschedulechangedsolateintheterm. 4.ByOctoberthemapletreeswillbewearingitsfallcolors. 5.Allthosewhowanttogoonthetripmustbringhismoneytomorrow. 6.Thelibraryisagaindisplayingtheircollectionofrarebooks. 7.Theseniorclasswasproudofthewaytheyconductedthemselvesatthegraduationceremonies. 8.Notaboyoragirlintheclasswaswillingtodonatetheirtimeandenergytosuchafrivolous undertaking. 9.Whenteachersretire,theyearbookisoftendedicatedtothem. 10.Thesepotter ’swheelsarerelicsofthepast,butitstillcanbeturnedeasily. FaultyPronounReference Another common error occurs when pronouns fail to refer clearly to their antecedents. When the referenceisunclearorambiguous,themeaningofthesentencesuffers. SampleQuestionContainingPronounReferenceErrors Sarahandhercolleague,Kate, gotabiggeronethisyear equalbonusesfrom bosslastChristmasbut heroutstandingwork. Because the pronoun she may refer to Sarah or to Kate, the reference is ambiguous. To fix the problem,useSarahorKateinplaceofshe.ChoiceCisthecorrectanswer. PracticeinIdentifyingFaultyPronounReference Directions:Thefollowingsentencescontainfaultypronounreferences.Writearevisedversionof eachsentenceinthespaceprovided. 1.Mrs.Parkerlovestoknitandspendsmostofhertimedoingit. 2.Attheend,withallthequestionsonthetestanswered,Ihandedthemin. 3.PeggytoldEileenthatshewassurethatshehadhandedinthehomework. 4.Billlethisfatherknowthathehadonlytenminutesleftontheparkingmeter. 5.DuringTruman’spresidency,hesenttroopstofightinKorea. 6.Henry,ahelicopterpilot,regularlyfliesitonrescuemissions. 7.InFitzgerald’sTheGreatGatsby,hewroteabouttheAmericanDream. 8.Shedecidedtobuyahigh-definitiontelevision,whichisjustwhathewanted. 9.TheagreementbetweenJoanandJanefellapartaftershefailedtoshowupforthemeeting. 10.Aftertheinterview,MiketoldTomthathewouldprobablylikespendingthenextfouryearsat Dartmouth. ShiftinPronounPerson Pronouns must also agree in person throughout a sentence. A sentence cast in first person, for example, should remain so from start to finish. On the SAT, you may find sentences containing impropershiftsfromonepersontoanother. SampleQuestionContainingShiftinPronounPerson Althoughone that isgoingtobeexcellentpreparationforlife, oneactuallyexperiencesdoesnotalways expectations. The sentence begins using one, a pronoun that should be followed by one or by such third-person pronouns as he, she, himself, and herself. Because the pronoun your is in the second person, an impropershifthasoccurred,makingchoiceBthecorrectanswer. FaultyPronounCase Pronouns must be in the proper case. Nominative case pronouns are reserved for grammatical subjects and predicate nominatives. Objective case pronouns are used everywhere else. Problems arise when writers fail to identify grammatical subjects or when they mix pronouns from different casesinthesamephrase. SampleQuestionsContainingErrorsinPronounCase 1.Ilearned thespeechesgivenby could beheardat thebackoftheauditorium. Because the construction by George and I is a prepositional phrase, the pronoun must be in the objectivecase.UsemeinsteadofI.ChoiceCisthecorrectanswer. 2.Havingmade persuasiveproposal, thejobof theschoolcafeteria. BecausethephraseCarl,Mack,andhimisthesubjectofthesentence,thepronounshouldbeinthe nominativecase.Useheinsteadofhim.ChoiceBisthecorrectanswer. PracticeinRecognizingShiftsinPronounPerson andErrorsinPronounCase Directions:Findthepronounerrorsinthefollowingsentences.Writethecorrectpronouninthe spaceprovided.Somesentencescontainnoerrors. 1.ThebiggestdifferencebetweenherandIisourviewonguncontrol. 2.MyauntsentSamandIacalendarforthenewyear. 3.We’regoingtoaskGertandhetogotothemoviesonSaturday. 4.Whenemployeesarelaidoffajob,youcollectunemployment. 5.Uswomentakesexualharassmentveryseriously. 6.AreyouexpectingJonathanandhetocalltonight? 7.Ifyouarescheduledtodeliverthespeechtotheclass,oneshouldexpecttotakeyourturnon Monday. 8.HimandIplantodrivetoDanburytonight. 9.Ifyoureallywanttogetbetteratthepiano,onereallyneedstopractice. 10.Themsingingatthetopoftheirlungsdisturbedthequietneighborhood. 11.TimismoreinterestedinapplyingtoOregonStatethanher. 12.Thegroupaskedusguystopitchinonthedriveforcannedgoods. 13.Mostrunnerssaytheyhavetoruneverydayinordertokeepyourselfinshape. 14.ThelasttimeIsawhim,hewasastallasme,ifnottaller. 15.Ineverspokewiththem,neithershenorhersister. FaultyVerbTense Verbtenseindicateswhenanactiontakesplace.Whenasentencecontainsaverbinthewrongtenseor whenanimpropershiftintenseoccursfromonepartofthesentencetotheother,themeaningofthe sentencesuffers. SampleQuestionContainingFaultyVerbTense 1.ThesceneinvolvesbothMacbethandBanquo thethreewitches, ridingacrosstheheath they thethreehagsorthreeweirdsisters. Themainverbofthesentenceisinvolves,averbinthepresenttense.Havingbeencastinthepresent tense,thesentenceshouldremainsothroughout,buttheverbencounteredisinthepasttense.Ashift hasoccurred,makingchoiceCthecorrectanswer. 2.Statelaws thatbicyclistsshallwear helmetsand alltrafficsigns toautomobiledrivers. Theverbshallwearcaststhesentenceinthefuturetense.Theverbshallhaveobeyed,however,isin thefutureperfecttense.Therefore,Cisthecorrectanswer. PracticeinIdentifyingFaultyVerbTenses Directions: In these sentences, many of the underlined verbs are in the wrong tense. Write the revisedverbsinthespacesprovided.Somesentencescontainnoerror. 1.Theybikedtothetopofthemountainandthencomebackdownintimetoeatlunch. 2.ThegaragemechanicthinksthatMrs.Murphyhasbroughthercarinlastnight. 3.Foranyonewithenoughbrainstohavethoughtabouttheproblem,nowisthetimetoworkouta solution. 4.WhenWashingtonwassworninaspresident,herodetoNewYorkfromhishomeinVirginia. 5.IfthewagontrainwouldhavereachedSaltCreekintime,themassacrewouldhavebeen prevented. 6.Theaircraftcontrollerexpectstohavespottedtheplaneonradarbeforedusklastnight. 7.Thefamilyalreadyfinisheddinnerwhenthedoorbellrang. 8.Firsthebuiltafire,thendraggedalogovertouseasaseat,andfinallycollectedenoughwood tokeepthefiregoingallnight. 9.RosekeptthepromiseshehasgiventoCharleslastyearinIndia. 10.WhenhetalkswithHoratio,Hamletbegantosuspectfoulplayinthekingdom. 11.AstheydrovetoVermont,theyhadstoppedforlunchatBucky’sBagelShop. 12.OnRoute684,atrooperpullshimoverandgavehimaspeedingticket. 13.Workingallyeartoimproveherwriting,Debbiegotastorypublishedinthenewspaper. 14.Thatnightattheshowwemetmanypeoplethatwesawthatafternoon. 15.OncethedroughthadhiteasternAfrica,theSomalishavesufferedterribly. FaultyVerbForm Everyverbhasseveralforms,amongthem(1)thepresent,asinlaugh;(2)thepast,formedbyadding –ed to the present, as in laughed; and 3) the participle, formed by adding has, had, or have to the verb’spasttense,asinhaslaughedandhadlaughed.ThevastmajorityofEnglishverbsfollowthis pattern.Butsomeverbs,calledirregularverbs,don’tfollowit.Examplesincludebreak(break,broke, hasbroken),begin(begin,began,hasbegun),andrise(rise,rose,hasrisen). OntheSATaquestionrelatingtoaverbform,especiallytoanirregularverbform,appears occasionally. SampleQuestionContainingFaultyVerbForm 1. Davewenttodinnerattheprofessor ’shome,hecombedhishair, andtie,and thehostessabouquet inajacket Having begun in the past tense, the sentence requires other verbs to be in the past tense. The verbs went,combed,anddressedareintheproperform.Thewordbrangisnot.Thepastformoftheverbto bringisbrought.Therefore,choiceCisthecorrectanswer. 2.Ms.Barnes it and thepapermayhavebeenplagiarized,butRayinsistedthathe hecouldproveit. The sentence contains five verbs. Only one, had wrote, is not in the proper form. Because the past participleoftheverbtowriteishadwritten,choiceBisthecorrectanswer. PracticeinIdentifyingFaultyVerbForms Directions: In these sentences, the underlined verbs may not be in the proper form. Write the correctforminthespacesprovided.Someverbsmaybecorrect. 1.Brianusetoarrivelatetoclassalmosteveryday. 2.ConflictsbetweenloggersandenvironmentalistshaveregularlyaroseintheNorthwestandother areasofthecountry. 3.GiventhechoiceofMonday,Wednesday,orFridayforhertalk,Gwendemandedtospeakon Thursday. 4.Afterdinner,Sarahclearedthetableandblowedoutthecandles. 5.Theyhadbeganpracticeontheirownbeforethecoacharrived. 6.Whentheengineoverheated,theradiatorhosehadbursted. 7.Togetafront-rowseat,youshouldhavewenttotheplayearlierthanyoudid. 8.Thechorusmessedupthatsongbecausetheyhadneversangitbefore. 9.HalfwaytotownIrealizedthatthefronttireofmybikehadsprangaleak. 10.ThenovelsofJudyBlumehavemanagedattractingmillionsofadolescentreaders. AReview WhileansweringIdentifyingSentenceErrorquestions,usethischecklistasaguide. Ifaverbisunderscored,searchforerrorsintense,form,agreementwiththesubjector othernoun,andparallelstructure. Ifanounisunderscored,searchforerrorsinnumberandagreementwithaverb, parallelism,andwordchoice. Ifapronounisunderscored,searchforerrorsincase,number,gender,agreementwith antecedent,referencetoanounoranotherpronoun,andagreementwithverbandparallel structure. Ifanadjectiveoranadverbisunderscored,searchforerrorsinwordchoice,modification, andcomparativedegree. Ifaphraseorclauseisunderscored,searchforerrorsinparallelstructureandsentence structure. Ifaparticipleisunderscored,searchforanerrorinmodification. ImprovingParagraphsQuestions ThissectionoftheSATaskssixquestionsabouthowtoreviseadraftofashortessay.Aquestionor twomayaskaboutdeletingorchangingthelocationofasentence.Anothermayaskwhichrevision ofapoorlywrittensentenceisbest.Stillothersmayaskhowtobestcombineapairofsentencesorto re-writeasentenceinordertoclarifytheessay’smainidea. Thewordingofparagraph-improvementquestionsillustratesseveralofthemattersyoumustdeal with: 1.Incontext,whichofthefollowingrevisionsisnecessaryinsentence3? 2.Incontext,whichofthefollowingphrasesmostlogicallyreplaces“them”insentence9? 3.Theprimaryeffectofsentence11isto… 4.Whichofthefollowingisbesttoaddaftersentence13asaconcludingsentence? 5.Whichofthefollowing,ifinsertedbeforesentence1,wouldmakeagoodintroductiontothe essay? 6.Incontext,whichisthebestwaytoreviseandcombinesentences4and5? 7.Whichofthefollowingsentences,ifinsertedbeforesentence10,wouldbestimprovethefourth paragraph? 8.Thebestwaytodescribetherelationshipofsentence4tosentence5isthat…. 9.AllofthefollowingstrategiesareusedbythewriteroftheessayEXCEPT…. 10.Inthesecondparagraph(sentences5–9),theauthortriesto…. ImprovingParagraphsquestionsoccasionallyconcerngrammarandusage,butmostofthemapplyto broaderissuesofwriting,suchasthepurposeoftheessay,organization,unity,developmentofideas, the relationship between sentences, and the writer ’s intentions. You may also be questioned on the structure and function of certain paragraphs as well as the role of individual sentences within paragraphs. TIP ReadingtheEssay Howwellyouanswerthequestionsmaydependinpartonhowyougoaboutreadingthe essay.Tryeachofthefollowingmethodstofindtheonethatproducesthebestresults: Method1:Readtheessaycarefullyfrombeginningtoend.Byhavingafirmgrasp oftheessay’smeaning,you’llsavetimewhileansweringthequestions.Becauseyou won’thavetore-readtheentireessay,youcanfocusonlyonthoseportionssingled outbythequestions. Method2:Readtheessayquickly—fasterthanyounormallywould.Athorough readingatthispointwastestimeandmaydistractyoufromyourgoal—toanswersix questionscorrectly.Ignoringitsflaws,therefore,readtheessayjustcarefullyenough tocatchitsdrift.Thenturntothequestions. Method3:Skimtheessayforitsgeneralmeaning;thenreaditagain,butmore slowly.Aftertworeadings,onequickandoneslow,you’llknowtheessayintimately. Thenyoucanconcentrateonthequestionsinsteadofworryingaboutwhattheessay says. Whichofthethreemethodsworksbestforyoucanbedeterminedonlybyexperience.As you read on and take the practice tests in Part VI, try each method. Stick to the one that worksbestforyouandpracticeitoverandover. Noneoftheseconcernsareuniquetothissectionoftheexam.Infact,theyshouldsoundfamiliar becausetheyarerelatedtomattersofessaywritingdiscussedearlierinthisebook.That’swhyyou’ll bereferredrepeatedlytopreviouspagestoreviewandmasterselectedskillsofwriting. ANSWERINGTHEQUESTIONS Improving Paragraphs Questions follow the progress of the passage. Although it makes sense to answer the questions in order, you may answer them in any order you wish. If you are good at spottingfaultysentences,answerthesentence-errorquestionsbeforetacklingtheothers.Ifyouhavea knack for answering specific questions, deal with those before coping with more general ones— those, say, that deal with relationships between paragraphs or with the passage as a whole. If a questionstumpsyou,goontothenextone,butdon’tforgettocomebacklaterandgiveitanothertry. SampleEssayandQuestions [1]Onthewater,sailboatsandmotorboatsgofasterthancanoes.[2]Theyalsogofasterinstores. [3]Peoplearebuyingthemingreaternumbersthaneverbefore.[4]Notonlyaretheymore fashionablebuttheygivestatustotheirowners.[5]Yet,I’lltakeacanoeanytime. [6]Foronething,acanoecanlastformorethanthirtyyears.[7]Evenifyougettiredofit,youcan sellitforafairlylargefractionofitsoriginalcost.[8]Forexample,anewaluminumcanoemaycost about$600,butausedonecostsabout$500orless.[9]Inaddition,acanoehasnomovingpartsto wearout.[10]Requiringalmostnocareatall,youonlyhavetopaintiteveryfewyearsorbangout somedentsifyourideitthroughrapids.[11]Somehigh-endcanoesaremadeofcanvascoveringa sturdywoodframe,canedseatsandcopperandbrasstrim. [12]Besidesbeingeconomical,acanoecanbeusedinavarietyofways.[13]Inthefirstplace,you canuseitintheoceanaswellasonatinylake.[14]Onecanuseitonrivers,too.[15]Marshesand smallstreamsarefineforusingacanoe.[16]Asaresult,whereveryougo,thereisboundtobea placeforcanoeing.[17]Notonlycanyoutakeitanywhere,butyoucangocanoeingforafewhours orforweeksatatime.[18]Incontrasttootherboats,canoesdon’tdependonwindorfuel.[19] Furthermore,youdon’thavetowastetimesettinguportakingdownacanoe.[20]Simplygraba paddle,andyou’reoffonyourown. 1.Inthefirstparagraphtheauthor ’sprimarypurposeisto (A)informthereaderaboutseveralkindsofboats (B)provideevidencethatboatingisapopularpastime (C)pokefunatthosewhoprefersailboatstocanoes (D)tellapersonalstoryaboutboating (E)preparethereaderforanunexpecteddisclosure Choice A is not a good answer because the paragraph is more about boaters than about boats. EliminatechoiceBbecausetheparagraphprovidesnorealevidencethatboatingisapopularpastime. Neither choice C nor D is justified by the contents of the paragraph. Only choice E offers a reasonableanswer.Infact,theparagraphdealsfavorablywithsailboatsandmotorboatsbutendswith aslightlysurprisingstatement—thattheauthorpreferscanoes.ChoiceE,therefore,isthebestanswer. 2.Sentence2differsfromothersentencesinthefirstparagraphbecauseit (A)emphasizesamajorpointoftheessay (B)changesthemeaningofwordstakenfromaprevioussentence (C)presentsthewriter ’spersonalopinion (D)changesthetoneoftheessay (E)providesanimportanttransitionbetweenthesentencesthatprecedeandfollowit Eliminate choice A because the sentence is unrelated to the essay’s main point. Choice C is wrong becausesentence2statesafactthatcanbeproved,notanopinion.ChoiceDiswrongbecausethetone oftheessayhasnotyetbeenestablished,andchoiceEdoesnotaccuratelydescribethefunctionof sentence2.Ananalysisoftheparagraphshowsthatthephrasegofasterisusedinbothsentence1and sentence2.Insentence1,thephrasereferstothespeedofboatsonwater.Insentence2,itreferstothe popularityofboatsamongconsumers.Therefore,choiceBisthebestanswer. 3.Ofthefollowing,whichisthebestversionofthefollowingunderlinedportionofsentence10? Requiringalmostnocareatall,youonlyhavetopaintiteveryfewyearsorbangoutsome dentsifyourideitthroughrapids. (A)Asitisnow (B)Requiringlittlecare,canoesneedonlytobepainted (C)Requiringlittlecare,paintisallitneeds (D)Caringforiteasily,youonlyhavetopaintit (E)Onlypaintit Thesentenceneedsrevisionbecauseitcontainsanerrorinmodification.ChoiceAiswrongbecause thephraseRequiringalmostnocareatallisadanglingparticiplethatmodifiesyouinsteadofcanoes. ChoiceCisavariationofA.ChoicesDandE,althoughgrammaticallycorrect,makelittlesensein thecontext.ChoiceB,theonlyremainingchoice,isthebestanswer. 4.Whichofthefollowingshouldbedonewithsentence11(reproducedbelow)? Somehigh-endcanoesaremadeofcanvascoveringasturdywoodframe,canedseatsand copperandbrasstrim. (A)Insertthephrase“Speakingofcosts”atthebeginning. (B)Deleteit;thesentenceisirrelevant. (C)Insertitbetweensentence8andsentence9. (D)Combineitwithsentence4. (E)Moveittotheendofparagraph1(aftersentence5). Because the sentence contains information about the materials used to build canoes, it does not fit logicallyanywhereintheessay.ThephrasesuggestedinchoiceAattemptstoestablishalinkbetween thesentenceandthesecondparagraph,butthewriterisnotdiscussingcostsatthatpointintheessay. Therefore,choiceBisthebestanswer. 5.Incontext,whichisthebestwaytoreviseandcombinesentences14and15(reproduced below)? Onecanuseitonrivers,too.Marshesandsmallstreamsarefineforusingacanoe. (A)Onecanuseitonrivers,too,aswellasmarshesandsmallstreams. (B)Youcanuseitonrivers,too,andmarshesandsmallstreamsarefineforusingacanoe. (C)Youcanuseitonrivers,marshes,andsmallstreams. (D)Usingitforriversandpaddlingonmarshesandsmallstreamsinacanoe. (E)Onecanuseitonriversandsmallstreamsandinmarshes,whicharefineforusinga canoe. Becausethetwosentencesappearinaparagraphthatusesthesecond-personpronoun(you),eliminate choicesAandE.ChoiceDisasentencefragment.ChoiceBisineffectivebecauseitstwocoordinate clausesarenotinthesamegrammaticalform.Therefore,choiceC,aconciseandclearrevisionof theoriginalsentences,isthebestanswer. 6.Theprimaryeffectofthefinalparagraph(sentences12–20)isto (A)summarizetheideasintroducedinthepreviousparagraph (B)reconsiderapointmadeinthefirstparagraph (C)supportthevalidityoftheessay’smainidea (D)explainacontradictionwithintheessay (E)provideanadditionalexample Almosteverysentenceinthefinalparagraphaddsanotherdimensiontothewriter ’sappreciationof canoes.Becausetheessay’sintentistoprovethatcanoesexcelothersmallvesselsinseveralways— cost,maintenance,versatility,easeofuse—choiceCisthebestanswer. TIP Afteryou’vereadtheessay,jotdownitsmainpointorpurpose. HOWTOANSWERIMPROVINGPARAGRAPHSQUESTIONS Shortofaskingyoutoactuallywriteanessay,ImprovingParagraphsQuestionscantestalmostany aspectofyourknowledgeaboutwriting,fromgrammarandusagetomattersofstyleandexpression. DefiningtheEssay’sPurpose Once you’ve read the given essay, quickly jot down the essay’s main idea in your test booklet. By keepingthemainideaconstantlyinmind,youcanmorereadilyjudgewhethertheessayhasachieved itspurpose. Writersoftenhavemultiplepurposesandcomplexattitudestowardtheirsubject.Theessayyou’ll beaskedaboutontheSAT,however,willbeshortandsimple.Don’tlookforsubtleties,sophisticated techniques,orhiddenmeanings.Theessaywillhaveapurposethatcanbeeasilyandsimply articulated.Forexample: ToinformreadersabouttheprogressofAmerica’sfightagainstterrorism. Togiveaninformedandentertainingaccountofthemisadventuresofaliterarycharacter. TodispensehelpfuladviceabouthowtousetheInternet. Suchstatementsofpurposewillestablishtheboundariesoftheessay.Anymaterialthatoverstepsthe boundariesisfodderforImprovingParagraphsquestions. OrganizationoftheEssay Ifaquestionasksyouabouttheorganizationoftheessay,checktheopeningparagraphfirst.Besure itintroduces,limits,andmakesclearthepurposeoftheessay.Agoodopening,oftenstatedinasingle sentence,pointsreadersinaparticulardirectionandnamestheirdestination.Subsequentparagraphs setupsignpostsalongthewaytoremindreaderswherethey’vebeenandwheretheyareheaded.If readerslosesightofthegoal,theessay’sorganizationmaybeatfault. Say,forexample,thatawriterdeploresthevastamountofcheatingbyhighschoolstudents.The outlineofsuchanessaymightlookthisway: Introductoryparag raph: Secondparag raph: Thirdparag raph: Fourthparag raph: Concluding parag raph: Abriefdescriptionofthecheatingproblem Commontypesofcheating Reasonsthatstudentscheat Whatschoolsmusttododiscouragecheating Theharmfulimpactofcheatingonsociety. In the outline, each paragraph discusses an important aspect of the cheating problem. The organization is logical and clear. If the writer, however, had included a paragraph on teenage shoplifting or had compared the amount of cheating between girls and boys, the essay’s sensible organizationwouldhavebeenviolated. Organizationalbreakdownsoccurforallsortsofreasons,butusuallybecausethewriterhaslost focus.Anunfocusedessaycontainsdistractionsandirrelevancies.Wholeparagraphsmayfailto contributetothedevelopmentofthemainidea.Orworse,theessay’sconclusionmayundermineor contradictitsintroduction. OntheSAT,youmaybeaskedtoidentifyorrevisesentencesthatdon’tfittheessay’sorganization. Aquestionmayaskyouhowtorevisesuchasentenceorwhethertomoveordeleteit.Asyouanswer thequestion,alwayskeeptheessay’spurposeinmind. ParagraphStructure,Unity,andCoherence Knowingthequalitiesofwell-writtenparagraphsandrecognizingparagraphingweaknesseswillhelp youanswersomequestions. STRUCTUREOFPARAGRAPHS Each paragraph of a well-written essay is, in effect, an essay in miniature. It has a purpose, an organizationalplan,andaprogressionofideas.Byscrutinizingaparagraphinthesamemanneras youwouldacompleteessay,youcandiscernitsmainideaandidentifyitsdevelopment. TOPICSENTENCESANDSUPPORTINGSENTENCES Mostparagraphsaremadeupoftwokindsofsentences:Atopicsentence,whichstatesgenerallythe contentsoftheparagraph,andsupportingsentences,whichprovidetheparticularsthatsupportand develop the topic sentence. Sometimes supporting sentences themselves need support, provided by minor, or secondary, supporting sentences. The paragraph that follows contains examples of each kindofsentence: [1]ChildrenwithIQswellbelowaveragerepresentanalmostinsolubleproblemforeducators. [2]Suchchildrenoftenfeelinadequate,rejectedbyteachersandpeersinaschoolenvironment thatvaluesandrewardsacademicsuccess.[3]Failureinschoolisthenumberonecauseofpoor behaviorinschoolandofjuveniledelinquencyingeneral.[4]Thebestthatschoolscandofor childrenwithlowIQsistoteachthemhowtogetbyintheworldandtoteachthemavocation. [5]Butvocationaltrainingisverylimitedinmanyschools.[6]Thosethatprovidesuchtraining usuallydosoonlyforolderadolescents. Sentence1isthetopicsentenceoftheparagraph.Tobeconvincing,itneedsthesupportof sentences2–5.Eachsupportingsentenceaddsapieceofevidencetoprovethepointoftheparagraph —thatchildrenwithlowIQscreateaproblemforschools.Sentence5isasupportingsentencethat requiresadditionalsupport,providedbysentence6. LocationofTopicSentences.Atopicsentencemaybeanywhereinaparagraph,butitusually appearsatorclosetothebeginning.Itisn’talwaysaseparateandindependentsentence;itmaybe wovenintoasupportingsentenceasaclauseorphrase.(Intheparagraphyouarenowreading,for example,themainideaisstatedinthefirstclauseoftheinitialsentence.)Writersvarythelocationof topicsentencestoavoidmonotony.Theycould,forexample,savethetopicsentencefortheend, lettingitstandoutboldlyastheclimaxoftheparagraph.Ortheymightomitthetopicsentence,letting anaccumulationoftellingdetailsimplytheparagraph’smainidea. Notethelocationofthetopicsentenceineachofthefollowingparagraphs: [1]Itispitchdarkandverychilly.[2]Nooneinhisrightmindwantstopryopentheireyesand leavethecozywarmthofbedandblanket.[3]Noonewantstowalkinbarefeetacrossthefrigid floortopeeroutthewindowattheicyrainslantingdownintheearlymorninggloom.[4]The thoughtofdampclothesandcoldfeetkeepsyouwhereyouare,atleastforafewmoreminutes. [5]It’storturetogetupondarkwintermornings. The supporting details in sentences 1–4 lead inevitably to sentence 5, the topic sentence, which summarizesthepointoftheparagraph. [1]Foralongtimeabout50,000peoplewerekilledannuallyinautomobileaccidentsonthe nation’sroads.[2]Reducedspeedlimits,seatbeltrequirements,andincreasedpolicepatrolshad almostnoeffectonchangingthenumberoffatalities.[3]Themostpromisingwaytoreduce fatalities,however,provedtobemakingcarssafer.[4]Frontandsideairbagswereinstalledin allnewmodels.[5]Specialseatsandrestraintsweredesignedforchildren.[6]Strongersteel framesenabledpeopletosurvivecrashesthatwouldcertainlyhavekilledthembefore. Sentence3isthetopicsentence.Itservesasthepivotalpointbetweenthedescriptionoftheproblem (sentences1and2)andsomeeffectivesolutions(sentences4,5,and6). Thekeytounlockingaparagraph’spurposeliesinthetopicsentence,andtheeffectivenessofa paragraphdependsonhowtightlythetopicsentenceislinkedtoitssupportingdetails.OntheSAT, youmaybeaskedtoimproveaparagraphbytighteningthatlink. Oryoumaybeaskedtochoosethebesttransitionbetweenideasorparagraphs.Atransitional sentencelinkstheideasinoneparagraphwiththoseinapreviousorsubsequentparagraph.Ineffect, itisabridgebetweentwodifferentideas.Inshortessaysit’sraretofindfulltransitionalsentences. Instead,bridgesareusuallybuiltwithtransitionalwordsandphrases,suchasinaddition,inlike manner,however,asaresult,andfinally. UNITYANDCOHERENCEINPARAGRAPHS Whenaparagraphdealswithmorethanonemainidea,itlacksunity.Whenitssentencesskipfrom topic to topic, it lacks coherence. The Paragraph Improvement questions often ask about alien sentences—sentencesthatundermineunityorweakencoherence.Notice,forinstance,howsentence4 hasnobusinessbeingbetweensentences3and5: [1]Likemanyotherleadersthroughouthistory,GeorgeWashingtonestablishedhisauthority throughtheforceofhispersonality.[2]Almosteveryonewhomethimthoughtthathewas charming,dignified,charismatic.[3]Somepeopleofthetimereferredtohimasa“superior being.”[4]YettheFatherofOurCountryhadbeensoundlydefeatedin1755,whenhefirst soughtelectiveoffice.[5]Atsix-feettwo-inchesinhisstockings,hewastallerandmore impressivethanmostmenofhistime.[6]Hisframewaspaddedwithwell-developedmuscles, indicatinggreatstrength,andhisblue-greyeyescouldsparklewithhumoratonemomentand growhardanddeterminedatthenext.[7]JohnAdamsdescribedhimasa“gentlemanwhose greattalentsandexcellentuniversalcharacter…wouldcommandtherespectofallthe Colonies.” The paragraph’s purpose is to describe the power of Washington’s personality. Because sentence 4 failstocontributetothislaudatoryportraitofourfirstpresident,itshouldbedeleted. COHERENCETHROUGHSENTENCECOMBINING Disjointed paragraphs force readers to slow down or even stop dead at the end of each sentence. Insteadofasmoothjourneythroughaparagraph,readersexperiencementalbumpsandjolts,often inflictedbyaseriesofshort,choppysentences. OntheSAT,youmaybeaskedtoimproveaparagraph’scoherencebychoosingarevisionthat effectivelycombinestwoorthreedisconnectedorrepetitivesentences.Thefollowingparagraphisan example: [1]Coloredballoonsdecoratedthegym.[2]Itwastheannualspringdance.[3]Fourmenin blacktuxedosstoodonthestage.[4]Theirshinybrassinstrumentswereintheirhands.[5]They providedthemusicalentertainment.[6]Allthegirlsweredressedinpastelshades.[7]Thegirls talkedingroups.[8]Theyweredecidingwhichboystheywouldasktodance.[9]Coupleswent ontothedancefloor.[10]Soonitwasfull. No doubt the paragraph is unified in thought—it’s all about the annual spring dance. But it suffers from incoherence because each detail, no matter how important or trivial, is stated in a separate sentence.Forthesakeofgreatercoherence,thesentencesneedtobecombined: [1]Fortheannualspringdance,thegymhadbeendecoratedwithcoloredballoons.[2]Fourmen inblacktuxedosstoodonthestageandprovidedthemusicalentertainmentwiththeirshinybrass instruments.[3]Wearingdressesinpastelshades,thegirlstalkedingroupsdecidingwhichboys theywouldasktodance.[4]Soonthefloorwasfilledwithdancingcouples. Ten sentences have become four. Some words have been deleted or changed. Key ideas have been emphasized, secondary ideas played down. Overall, the revision exemplifies more skilled, more maturewriting. OntheSAT,youmaybeaskedtocombinetwoorthreeshortsentenceswithinalongerparagraph. Asyouweighthefivechoicesgivenbyasentence-combiningquestion,keepinmindthatthemost conciseorcleverestrevisionmaynotalwaysbethebestone.Instead,thebestrevisionislikelytobe theonethatfitsmostlogicallyandstylisticallyintothecontextoftheparagraph. PracticeinCombiningSentences Directions: Use the spaces provided to combine the sentences in each of the following groups. Becauseanygroupcanbecombinedinnumerousways,writeatleasttwoversions.Ifnecessary, add,delete,and/oralterwords.Tryalternatives;that’sthebestwaytodiscoverthepossibilitiesand toimproveyourskill. 1.Sheisonlythirteen.Sheisanexpertgymnast.Shehaswonrecognition. 2.Anaccidentoccurred.Theaccidentwasahitandrun.Brokenglasslayonthestreet. 3.AuntEllenwenttothegrocerystore.Sheboughttomatojuice.Thetomatojuicewasinaglass bottle.Thebottlewasinthegrocerybag.AuntEllendroppedthegrocerybag.Thebottlebroke. AuntEllenhadamess.Themesswasonherhands. 4.Thebaseballhitthepicturewindow.ThepicturewindowbelongedtoMr.Strickman.Theglass shattered.Theglassshatteredinathousandpieces. 5.Therewasastorm.Thesnowfell.Snowfellontheroads.Itwastwofeetdeep.Icouldnotgoout. Ihadnothingtodo.IwatchedTV.Iworkedonajigsawpuzzle.Timepassedslowly. 6.TheEarthrevolvesaroundthesun.Ittakesabout365daysforarevolution.TheEarthrotateson itsaxis.Onerotationoccursevery24hours.Therevolutiondeterminesthelengthoftheyear. Therotationdeterminesthedurationofaday. 7.Euripideslivedmorethan2,000yearsago.HelivedinancientGreece.Hewroteplays.Theplays weretragedies.Theplaysarestillperformed. 8.Musichasauniquepower.Musicoftentransportspeople’sminds.Peopledreamandthinkwhile listeningtomusic.Peopleoftenfeelrefreshedafterlisteningtomusic. 9.Humanbeingshaveskulls.Skullsaremadeupofbones.Theskullhastwenty-twobones.Eight bonesmakeupthecranium.Thecraniumprotectsthebrain.Fourteenbonesareusedtoformthe faceandjaw. 10.TheHopiIndiansvaluepeaceandcontentment.ThewordHopimeanspeacefulandhappy.The namereflectstheculture.Theculturelackstension.Thepeoplelackcompetitiveness.Material possessionsareunimportant.Self-disciplineisimportant.Soisrestraint.Soisconcernforthe welfareofothers.Thefamilyisthehighestvalue.ThefamilyisthewholeHopitribe. ParagraphDevelopment Like an essay, each paragraph should have a recognizable plan. A paragraph may consist of little more than a collection of facts that support the topic sentence. Or it may take the form of a brief narrative,itseventsspelledoutintheordertheyoccurred.Anotherparagraphmaybeorganizedto compareandcontrasttwopeopleorconditions,stillanothertodefineatermorexplainaprocess. Dependingontheparagraph’spurpose,detailsthatsupportthemainideamaybearranged spatially,chronologically,inorderofimportance,fromgeneraltospecificorvice-versa—orinany arrangementthatdevelopsthetopic. OntheSAT,youmaybeaskedtoidentifyaparagraph’sorganizationalplan.Therefore,youshould knowthemostcommonpatternsofparagraphdevelopment.Don’tbothermemorizingthemforthe exam,butyourabilitytorecognizeeachpatternwhenyouseeitcouldbehelpful. 1.Argumentandproof.Inthisorganizationalplan,aparagraph’ssupportingsentencesconsistof argumentsorexamplesmeanttoprovethevalidityofthetopicsentence. Inwartime,themilitarydevelopsawayofspeakingthatdisguisesmeaningandmakesthe horrorsofbattlelessdirtyandgruesome.Euphemismsenablebothsoldiersandciviliansto keepapsychologicaldistanceandturnwarintoanantiseptic,clinicalabstraction.In Vietnam,forexample,whenourowntroopswereshelledbymistake,theeventwascalled an“accidentaldeliveryofordnanceequipment.”IntheGulfWar,aswellastheIraqand Afghanistanconflicts,“friendlyfire”becamethephraseofchoice.Similarly,when waywardbombskilledinnocentcivilians,“incontinentordnance”wasresponsiblefor causing“collateraldamage.”Armsandlegsarenotblownoffincombat;theyaresevered ina“traumaticamputation.”Sucheuphemisms,accordingtolanguageexperts,canbe protective,butatthesametime,theyputusindangeroflosingtherealsenseofwar ’s ghastliness. Thefirstsentenceisthetopicsentence.Therestoftheparagraphconsistsofexamplesthat illustratethe“wayofspeaking.” 2.Definition.Paragraphsofdefinitiondomorethansimplyofferadictionarymeaningofaword oridea.Broad,abstractconceptssuchasloyalty,beauty,evil,success,andcountlessothersare betterdefinedbyexample,byanalogy,orbycomparisonandcontrast.Forinstance,the followingdefinesthewordutopiabydescribingautopiansocietyandexplainingtheword’s origin. Utopiaisthenameoftengiventoasocietyinwhicheverythingisthoughttobeperfect. Everythinginthesociety,fromitseconomicpoliciestoitssocialpractices,isdesignedto keepthesocietyfunctioningwithoutdifficulty.InUtopiaallpeoplearehappy,wise,equal, prosperous,andwell-educated.Utopiaisanappropriatename.ItcomesfromtheGreek wordmeaning“noplace.” 3.Definitionbyanalogy.Aspider ’swebisdefinedinthefollowingparagraphbycomparinga webandafinemusicalinstrument. Aspider ’swebisanexquisitemusicalinstrument.Itisconstructedofmanystringsof differentlengthsundervariousdegreesoftension.Itisplayeduponbytherainandthe wind,byotherinsects,andbythemastermusicianherself,thespider.Sosensitiveisthe spider ’ssenseoftouchthatfromonecornerofthewebshecanlocateastrugglingvictim, determineitssize,and,bytherhythmsandtempoofvibrations,judgeittobeamoth,a haplessmosquito,housefly,orotherinsect. 4.Comparisonandcontrast.Intheparagraphthatfollowsthepersonalitiesoftwomen—onereal andonefictional—aredefinedbycomparingandcontrastingsomeoftheirtraits. AlbertPerrymayhavebeenthemodelforHalRoetinThayer ’snewnovel.Thayercalls Roetan“unpredictablefarmer.”Thereal-lifePerrywasatobaccofarmerforyearsandwas knownthroughoutPiedmontCountyasPeripateticPerry.At30,heunexpectedlylefthis wifeandwenttoNewYorktobecomearock-and-rollsinger.Roet,too,lefthisfarminthe handsofhiswifeandtraveledaroundthecountrywitharodeo.Butthesimilarityendsthere. Perrywascompulsivelyself-revealing;Roetwasquietandunassuming.Perrywas indifferenttohisfamily,whileRoetwastorn,anguished,andguilt-riddenaboutabandoning Marionandthethreechildren.Finally,Perrycravedfame.Roet,incontrast,didn’tcarea nickelaboutbecomingafamousbroncorider.Hewasinitforthethrillofdoingsomething dangerous. 5.Causeandeffect.Thedetailsofacause-and-effectparagraphexplainordemonstratehowone eventorsetofcircumstancesleadsto,orcauses,anothereventorsetofcircumstances.The followingpassagedescribestheeffectsofone-sixthgravity. Becausethemoonhasonlyone-sixththegravityoftheEarth,peopleonthelunarsurface weighafractionoftheirnormalweight.Theywalkeasily,eachstepevolvingintoa rhythmic,boundingmotionthatfeelslikeastrollonatrampoline.Atthesametime,starting andstoppingrequireunusualburstsofenergy.Tostopforwardmotion,theymustdigtheir heelsintothegroundandleanbackward.Iftheyfall,theydescendinslowmotion,andthe impactisnoharderthanfallingontoafeatherbed.Gettingupagainisdifficultand enervating,however. 6.Processanalysis.Aparagraphanalyzingaprocessexplainshowtoperformthestepsofa processorprocedure. Whenrepaintingaroom,it’sbesttoremoveasmuchfurnitureandcarpetingaspossible. Besuretocovereverythingleftbehindwithatarpaulinorplasticsheet.Usingaroller,paint theceilingfirst.Whiletheceilingdries,paintwindows,doors,andtrim,exceptfor baseboards.Thenpaintthewalls.Trytoavoidchangingpaintcanspartwaythroughawall becausethepaintcolorfromtwodifferentcansmaynotmatchexactly.Ifyouexpectto finishacanbeforeyoufinishawall,pourthepaintfromtwocansintoalargebucketand mixwell.Onecoatofpaintisusuallynotenough,sobepreparedtoapplyasecondcoatto allsurfaces.Paintthebaseboardslast. 7.Classification.Aparagraphofclassificationbreaksageneralcategoryintoitscomponentparts. Vegetablescanbeclassifiedaccordingtoclimateandgrowingrequirements.Early vegetableslikeleaflettuce,spinach,radishes,andpeasgrowbestincoolweatherandare plantedshortlybeforethelastfrost.Moderatelyhardyvegetables,includingpotatoesand onions,shouldalsobegrownbeforetheintenseheatofsummer.Latespringisthetimeto starthardyvegetableslikecarrots,beets,cabbage,andcauliflowerbecausetheyeasily endurethesummersun’sheat.Somevegetablesareextremelysensitivetocoldand, therefore,canbeplantedonlyweeksafterthelastfrost.Theseincludesoybeans,cucumbers, summersquash,andwatermelons.Suchplantsastomatoes,peppers,andeggplantare usuallystartedindoorsandtransplantedoutsideinlatespringorearlysummer. Becausepurposedictatesstructure,aneffectiveparagraphcanbedevelopedinmorethanoneway. Toproveapointormakeapersuasiveargument,forinstance,awritermaycombinefactswith definitionandtheanalysisofaprocess.Althoughwritersrarelyfollowaformulatodevelop paragraphs,mostabidebyaruleofthumbthatsaysaparagraphofoneortwosentencesistoo skimpy.Todevelopanideathoroughlyoftentakesseveralsentences.Sincetheoveralleffectiveness ofaparagraphmaydependonitsorganization,SATquestionsmayaskyoutoaddasentencetoa paragraph,deleteasentence,orevenrelocateanexistingsentencebymovingitwithinaparagraphor toadifferentparagraph. Mostsentencescontaincluesthatassignthemtoaplace—andonlyoneplace—inaparagraph. Meaningistheprimaryclue,butsuchwordsandphrasesasforexample,also,but,andontheother handalsoservetoputsentencesintoaparticularorder.Inthefollowing,forinstance,observehow theitalicizedwordsandphrasesdeterminethesequenceofsentences: [1]Part-timejobsforhighschoolstudentsareamixedblessing.[2]Theyhelpyoungpeople learnthevalueofmoney.[3]Itisalsosatisfyingforyoungpeopletohelpwiththeirfamily’s finances.[4]Ontheotherhand,jobsoftendistractstudentsfromtheirschoolwork.[5]Moreover, manyjobsaresoboringthatstudentsgettheideathatworkandboredomgohandinhand. Sentence 1 expresses the most general idea in the paragraph and serves as the topic sentence. The pronounthey,whichbeginssentence2,referstojobs,anouninthefirstsentence.Sentence3contains the connecting word also, indicating that a new thought is being added to one expressed in the previoussentence.Sentence4beginswithOntheotherhand,acommontransitionalphraseusedto indicatethatacontrastingideawillfollow.ThelastsentencebeginswithMoreover,anothercommon transition that signals the addition of still another idea in the same vein. Because of these linking elements, these five sentences cannot be arranged in any other sequence without destroying the paragraph’scoherence. PracticeinArrangingSentences Directions:Thesentencesineachgroupmakeupaparagraph.Buttheyarenotintheproperorder. In the blank spaces write the number that represents the proper place of each sentence in the paragraph. 1.____a.Intheend,moralegotsolowthatmembersstartedquittingtheteam. ____b.Whetheryouwereapolevaulter,asprinter,oradistancerunner,practiceswerethesame foreveryone. ____c.Hewasforcingtheteamtoworkoutthesamewayeveryday. ____d.Mr.Reese,thetrackcoach,hadbeenactinglikeatyrant. 2.____a.First,putinthelarge,firm,andheavyitemsthatwon’tbecrushedordamagedbyputting somethingontopofthem. ____b.Meanwhile,thinkofalltheitemsthatcanbeeasilybruised,crushed,orbroken,suchas eggs,packagesofbread,fruit,andlightbulbs. ____c.Tofillupapaperbagwithgroceriesusuallytakesaboutfifteensecondsifyoudoitright. ____d.Immediatelyafterthat,putinlightbutfirmitemssuchascrackers,cereal,andbutter. ____e.Cannedgoodsandbottlesfitthebillperfectly. ____f.Thoseshouldbesavedforlast. 3.____a.Then,too,Istartedfeelingcomfortabletalkingwithadults. ____b.Mostpeoplethinkof“maturity”intermsofresponsibility,butIthinkithasmoretodowith learningtocontrolone’sactions. ____c.Icouldactuallytalktotheminsteadofshuttinguplikeaclamandjuststandingtherelikea dummy. ____d.Forexample,IknewthatIwasmorematurethanotherswhenIdidn’tlaughoutloudin scienceclasswhentheteachertalkedaboutreproduction. 4.____a.Asbloodcirculates,itcleansoutbodywaste,likethecollectorwhocruisesthe neighborhoodpickinguptrash. ____b.Inreturn,itdepositsoxygenandfoodineverybodypart,fromthetopoftheheadtothe littletoe. ____c.Yethumanlifedependsonthosefourquartsofbloodthatarepumpedfromtheheart,flow toeverycellinthebody,andreturntothehearttobepumpedagain. ____d.Ifyoudrainedthebloodfromthebodyofagirlweighingabout125pounds,youwouldfill littlemorethanagallonmilkcontainer. 5.____a.TheessaywastobehandedinonMondaymorning. ____b.Thefirstpartoftheexamwasatake-homeessayinwhichweweretoansweroneofthree questions. ____c.OnFridaynightIsettledmyselfdownwithmytextbookandtookexceptionallydetailed notes. ____d.Fourweeksago,I,likemanyothereleventhgraders,workedhardtoprepareforan AmericanHistorymidtermexam. ____e.Thenextday,determinedtohavemoreinformationthanIcouldusewhenIbegantowrite theessay,Iwenttothepubliclibrarytodofurtherresearch. 6.____a.HismistakewascorrectedfiftyyearslaterbyCarlBlegenoftheUniversityofChicago. ____b.Hefiguredoutthateveryfewcenturiesanewcityhadbeenbuiltupontheruinsoftheold. ____c.Inthe1870s,thearcheologistHeinrichSchliemannduginthecorrectspotanddiscovered nineancientcitiesofTroy,onelyingontopoftheother. ____d.Butwithoutrealizingit,Schliemannhaddugrightpastthelayerhehadbeenseeking,the layercontainingtheruinsofthefamouscityoftheTrojanHorse. ____e.Bythen,itwastoolateforSchliemann,whohadbeendeadforfiftyyears. 7.____a.FormonthsatatimeJerry’sfanswoulddevotedlyfollowhisgrouparoundthecountry whereveritplayedinconcert. ____b.Justtwoyearsafteritsdebut,Jerryandhisbandleftanindeliblemarkonmillionsofyoung fans. ____c.Inspiteofhisfamily,whotoldhimthathewouldneverbeasuccessfulprofessionalsinger, Jerrydecidedtotakeupguitarandformamusicalgroup. ____d.Henotonlycreatedawholenewsubculturebutdevelopedafollowing. 8.____a.Hefeltterriblyanxiousabouthiswoundedleg. ____b.Theslightestmovementofhiskneecausedasuddenandintensepain,unlikeanythinghe hadeverfeltbefore. ____c.Hecouldnotsleep,inspiteofthesedativeadministeredtohimbytheBritishnurse. ____d.InMilan,thelieutenantlayinahospitalbed. ____e.Itwasevenworsethanthepainherecalledwhen,asachild,hehadpulledapotofsteaming wateroveronhimself. 9.____a.Eachlayerisanotherpagethattellsthestoryofvolcaniceruptions,massivefloods,andthe advanceandretreatoftheIceAge. ____b.Unfortunately,italsotellsofthepresentday’spollutionoftheearth’sairandlands. ____c.Ifyoucanreaditslanguage,thesedimentscontainarecordofallthedramaticand catastrophiceventsthathaveoccurredthroughtheearth’shistory. ____d.Theoceanfloorisadiaryoftheearth. 10.____a.Hebecameblindin1652andusedhisdaughterasaninstrumenttowritesomeofhisfinest poems. ____b.Hisdaughter,withherquillpeninhand,satwithherfathertorecordhisthoughts,toread themback,tomakerevisionsinwhateverwayMiltonwanted. ____c.ThefirstpoettouseawordprocessorwasJohnMilton. ____d.TheactualprocessingofwordswentoninMilton’shead. 11.____a.AfterwinningtwoCritics’CircleawardsandthePulitzerPrizefordrama,Tennessee Williamsearnedfameandlotsofmoney. ____b.Usually,he’snamedwithEugeneO’NeillandArthurMillerasoneoftheleading Americandramatistsofthetwentiethcentury. ____c.TheyflockedtoBroadwaytoseehisplaysandlaterswarmedtothemoviestoseefilmed versionsofhisworks. ____d.Allofasudden,thepublicbegantoviewhimasoneofthebestofthemodernplaywrights. FunctionsofParagraphs A paragraph-improvement question may single out a paragraph or one of its parts and ask you to identifyitsroleintheessay.Toanswerthequestions,youshouldunderstandhowparagraphsfunction inanessay.PartIII,onessaywriting,offersathoroughdiscussionofthistopic,buthereisabrief overview. TheFirstParagraph.Aneffectiveopeningparagraphintroducestheessayandmakestheintentofthe essaycleartothereader.Becausetheessayyou’llscrutinizeontheSATwon’tbemorethanthreeor fourparagraphslong,itsintroductionwillbesuccinctandstraightforward.SATquestionsoftenrefer tosentencesinthefirstparagraphthatareirrelevanttotheessay’smainidea. TheLastParagraph.Thefinalparagraphshouldgivethereaderasenseofcompletion.Aweakor irrelevantconclusionmaydiluteorevenobliteratetheeffectoftheessay.Noendingisaseffective and emphatic as one that grows logically out of a thoughtful arrangement of the writer ’s ideas. A goodlastparagraph,forexamplemaysuggestasolutiontoaproblemdiscussedintheessay.Orit may call on the reader to think about an issue or perform an action. On the SAT any concluding paragraph that seems to end the essay very abruptly, that dissolves into irrelevancy, or that fits the essaytoolooselyisfairgameforamultiple-choicequestion. Developmental Paragraphs. Paragraphs usually perform more than one function in an essay’s development. For example, a paragraph may carry forward the main point of the essay by contributing a solution to the problem being discussed. At the same time, it may reinforce an idea proposedearlierandalsosupplybackgroundinformationforthenextparagraph. OntheSAT,youmaybeaskedtoidentifythemainfunctionofaparticularparagraph.Functionhas littletodowithmeaning.Rather,itpertainstotheroletheparagraphplaysinthejourneyfromthe beginningtotheendoftheessay.Developmentalparagraphscanperformmyriadfunctions,among them: •Reinforceanideawithatellingexample •Evaluateanopinionstatedearlier •Addnewideas •Castdoubtonacommonmisconception •Tellabriefanecdotethatillustratesapoint •Continuethediscussionbeguninanearlierparagraph •Provideacontrastingpointofview •Explainordefineaterm •Persuadereaderstochangetheiropinions •Summarizetheargumentmadethusfar •Turntheessayinanewdirection •Describetherelationshipbetweenideaspresentedearlier •Providebackgroundmaterial •Justifyorexplaincontradictionswithintheessay •Askahypotheticalorrhetoricalquestionaboutthetopic A common question on the SAT may be worded something like this: “Which of the following sentences, if inserted after sentence 6, would best improve the third paragraph?” Knowing how paragraphsfunctioninanessaywillgiveyoualegupinfindingthecorrectanswer. AReview WhilelookingforerrorsinImprovingParagraphsQuestions,usethischecklistasaguide.Always keepinmind: ThestrategiesusedtoanswerboththeSentenceImprovementandIdentifyingSentenceError questions. Howtopicsentencessignalthepurposeandorganizationofeachparagraphandoftheessayas awhole. Potentialcontradictions,breakdownsinlogic,andshiftsinemphasisthroughouttheessay. Theunityandcoherenceofeachparagraphandofthewholeessay. Therelationshipofeachsentencetothosethatprecedeandfollowit. Transitionalwordsandphrases. Thefunctionsofopening,closing,anddevelopmentalparagraphs. AnswerKeytoPracticeExercises WritingCorrectSentences Answerswillvary.Nodoubtsomeofyoursentenceswillbebetterthanthese. 1.AlthoughElizabethisstressedoutabouttheSAT,shewon’tletitgetherdown. 2.Theteacheragreedtoherrequestforanextensionontheassignment. 3.Ateighty-sixyearsold,mygrandmotherwalksveryslowly. 4.IcouldchoosemanyotherexamplestoshowwhoIam,notallofthemvividimagesof memorablemomentsbutrathereverydayaspectsofmylife. 5.Iwokeup,havingsleptforthefourshortesthoursofmylife.Iforcemyeyesopenandcrawlto theshower.Onlythenmybrainbeginstofunction. 6.Ican’tbelievethatI’llsoonleavetheprotectiveworldofhighschoolandentertheworldof college. 7.Thelargebrowngaragedoorcreaksopenslowly.Outintothemorningsunshineemergesarider onaroadbike. 8.Whataretherules?Whathappensifwebreakthem? 9.Phyllis,abiologistinthefieldofgeneticengineering,isinvolvedinthecloningcontroversy. 10.Usethespacebelowtotellonepersonalstorytoprovidetheadmissionscommittee,eitherdirectly orindirectly,aninsightintothekindofpersonyouare. EstablishingNoun–VerbAgreement 1.talent…proves 2.heroes…die 3.team…is 4.Correct 5.Correct 6.are…levels 7.proceeds…are 8.team…is 9.neither…was 10.reforms…have 11.fan…expects 12.Politics…has 13.Darwin…is 14.KatieGreen…andaccompanist…are 15.Nancy…appears 16.sale…has 17.Hereare…statutes 18.insistence…is 19.Noone…wants 20.are…guards ChoosingtheCaseofPronouns 1.me 2.her,him 3.me 4.me 5.him 6.he 7.I 8.me 9.we 10.he RecognizingPronounShiftandPronounAgreement Answersmayvary. 1.TheEnglishteacherannouncedthateveryoneintheclassmustturninhistermpapernolaterthan Friday. 2.Whenfiredfromajob,onecollectsunemployment. 3.Thelibraryputitscollectionofrarebooksondisplay. 4.Eachofmysistersownsherowncar. 5.Correct 6.Inordertostayinshape,youshouldworkouteveryday. 7.TheteacherdictatesasentenceinFrench.TheneachstudentwritesitdowninEnglishandhandsit in. 8.Eachhorseintheprocessionfolloweditsriderdowntothecreek. 9.Theschool’schessteamhasjustwonitsfirstmatch. 10.Whenyouvisitthepark,askaparkrangerifyoucan’tfindarestroom. IdentifyingFaultyPronounReference Thesearesuggestedanswers.Yoursmaybedifferentbutequallyvalid. 1.WhenteenagersloiteroutsidethetheateronFridaynight,thepolicegivethemahardtime. 2.Beforecollectingmypencilsandpens,IhandedinthetestquestionsIhadanswered. 3.AttherootofBarbaraandKen’sproblemisthatshewantedonlyashortweddingtriptoFlorida. 4.Withonlyanhourtogettotheairport,hisfatherwasinarushandtoldhimso. 5.Duringhertenureinoffice,Dr.Ricetraveledmorethananyothersecretaryofstate. 6.Althoughhedisapprovedofthewar,Henrydrovehisambulancetothefrontlines. 7.Afterthecampustour,MiketoldTodd,“I’dbehappygoingtoAuburn.” 8.Peggy’scarwasn’tevendentedafterithitatruck. 9.Withinthelastmonth,Andy’solderbrotherPetebrokehislegskiingandgotanewjob.Healso marriedFelicia,whichmadehisparentsveryhappy. 10.BecausehehadlivedinCalifornia,EddiegrewfondofJohnSteinbeck’snovels. IdentifyingFaultyEnglishIdiom 1.inbattle 2.ascendedthestairs 3.complywith 4.eitherironortin 5.preoccupationwith 6.eitherdangerorlove 7.Correct 8.inpursuitof 9.toidentifyemployees 10.Correct 11.withrespectto 12.insearchofaway 13.thatkindofpain 14.forthebus 15.asexpensiveas 16.regardedas 17.betweenteachinganddevoting 18.drivingtoflying 19.farfromharm 20.neitherwellwrittennorfullyresearched UsingAdjectivesandAdverbs 1.bitter 2.Noerror 3.smoothly 4.beautifully 5.horrible 6.slowly 7.cynically 8.Noerror 9.smoothly 10.Noerror 11.oblivious 12.securely 13.slowly 14.calm 15.easily 16.optimistic 17.badly 18.shy 19.sincerely 20.mischievously DetectingWordiness Answersmayvary. 1.Sheconstantlybothersme. 2.Hespoketomeaboutmyfuture. 3.Isittruethattheozonelayerisbeingdepleted? 4.IthoughtthatwithoutchemistryIcouldn’tgotoagoodcollege. 5.Asaresultoftheelection,thestatewillhaveitsfirstfemalegovernor. 6.Myfatherhabituallywatchesthesunset. 7.Haroldhasn’tstoppedpaintingsincepickingupabrushatageten. 8.Researchshowsthatavidsportsfanssufferfewerdepressionsandaregenerallyhealthierthan thosenotinterestedinsports. 9.Heisachemist. 10.Thecoughrecurredtwice. CompletingComparisons Thesearesuggestedanswers.Otheranswersmayalsobecorrect. 1.Janeismoreefficientthananyothermemberofthecommittee. 2.Andylooksmorelikehisfatherthanhisbrotherdoes. 3.InTheGreatGatsby,IdislikedDaisyasmuchasIdislikedTom. 4.Correct 5.Oscarwasastiredas,ifnotmoretiredthan,Pete. 6.Todotheresearchformytermpaper,IreadbooksmorethanIsearchedtheWeb. 7.Althoughshe’syounger,Lillianlooksasoldas,ifnotolderthan,Dorothy. 8.TheytalkedmoreaboutChekhov’sstoriesthanabouthisplays. 9.Allen’scanoewasdestroyedintherapids,justlikehispartner ’swas. 10.AfterreadingSiddhartha,IadmireHessemorethananyotherauthor. 11.IammoreinterestedinrapmusicthanPeteis. 12.Expertssaythatwalkingisbetterforyouthanjoggingthesamedistance. 13.Biologyismorepopularthananyotherscience. 14.ThestudentsrespectMs.Scotch’steachingstylemorethanMr.Green’s. 15.HisearswerebiggerthanDumbo’s. 16.IttookuslongertoreachTrentonthantoreachCamden. 17.Whichischeaper—flyingtoWashingtonortakingthetrain? 18.Thelawyerinsistedthatherjobtookmorehoursthanateacher ’sjob. 19.CarryingiPodsismorecommonamongstudentsthancarryingcellphones. 20.Cindyhasappliedtoasmanycollegesas,ifnotmorethan,Joanne. RecognizingPronoun–AntecedentAgreement 1.…herphysical 2.Noerror 3.…herschedule 4.…theirfallcolors 5.…theirmoney 6.…itscollection 7.…itconducteditself 8.…donatehisorhertime 9.Noerror 10.…theycan IdentifyingFaultyPronounReference Thesearesuggestedanswers.Otheranswersmayalsobecorrect. 1.Doingwhatsheloves,Mrs.Parkerspendsmostofhertimeknitting. 2.Attheend,havingansweredallthequestions,Ihandedthetestin. 3.PeggywassureshehadhandedinthehomeworkandtoldEileen. 4.Billhadonlytenminutesleftontheparkingmeterandtoldhisfather. 5.Duringhispresidency,TrumansenttroopstofightinKorea. 6.Henry,apilot,regularlyfliesahelicopteronrescuemissions. 7.InTheGreatGatsby,FitzgeraldwroteabouttheAmericanDream. 8.Becausehewantedahigh-definitiontelevision,shedecidedtobuyhimone. 9.TheagreementbetweenJoanandJanefellapartafterJoanfailedtoshowupforthemeeting. 10.Afterhisinterview,Mikethoughthewouldprobablylikespendingthenextfouryearsat DartmouthandtoldTom. RecognizingShiftsinPronounPersonandErrorsinPronounCase 1.betweenherandme 2.Samandme 3.Gertandhim 4.theycollect 5.Wewomen 6.Jonathanandhim 7.youshouldexpect 8.HeandI 9.youreallyneed 10.Theirsinging 11.thanshe 12.Noerror 13.keepthemselves 14.asI 15.hernorhersister IdentifyingFaultyVerbTense 1.came 2.brought 3.Noerror 4.hadridden 5.hadreached 6.expected 7.hadfinished 8.Noerror 9.gave 10.begins 11.stopped 12.gives 13.Havingworked 14.hadseen 15.suffered IdentifyingFaultyVerbForms 1.usedtoarrive 2.arisen 3.Correct 4.blew 5.hadbegun 6.hadburst 7.shouldhavegone 8.hadneversung 9.hadsprung 10.toattract CombiningSentences Becausemanydifferentanswersarepossible,thesearesuggestionsonly.Asyoucompareyouranswers tothese,besurethatyouhaveincludedalltheinformationfromeachgroupofsentences. 1.Atthirteen,shehasalreadywonrecognitionasanexpertgymnast. 2.Afterthehit-and-runaccident,brokenglasslayonthestreet. 3.AuntEllenhadamessonherhandsaftershedroppedabagcontainingaglassbottleoftomato juicethatshehadboughtatthegrocerystore. 4.ThebaseballhitMr.Strickman’spicturewindow,shatteringitintoathousandpieces. 5.Sincethestormdumpedtwofeetofsnowontheroads,Icouldnotgoout.Ihadnothingtodobut watchTVandassembleajigsawpuzzle.Thetimepassedslowly. 6.TheEarthrevolvesaroundthesunevery365days.Atthesametime,itrotatesonitsaxisevery twenty-fourhours.TheEarth’srevolutionaroundthesundeterminesthelengthofayearjustasits rotationdeterminesthedurationofaday. 7.The2,000-year-oldtragediesofEuripides,anancientGreekplaywright,arestillperformedtoday. 8.Musichastheuniquepowertotransportpeople’sminds.Whilelistening,peopleoftendreamand think,andafterwardsfeelrefreshed. 9.Theskullsofhumansconsistoftwenty-twobones:eightinthecranium,whichprotectsthebrain, andfourteeninthefaceandjaw. 10.ThecultureoftheHopiIndians,whosenamemeans“peacefulandhappy,”exemplifiespeaceand contentment.Lackingcompetitiveness,Hopisrarelyfeeltense.Whattheyvalueinsteadareselfdiscipline,restraint,andthewelfareofothers.Butthehighestvalueisthefamily,consistingofthe entireHopitribe. ArrangingSentences 1.a.4b.3c.2d.1 2.a.2b.5c.1d.4e.3f.6 3.a.3b.1c.4d.2 4.a.3b.4c.2d.1 5.a.3b.2c.4d.1e.5 6.a.4b.2c.1d.3e.5 7.a.4b.2c.1d.3 8.a.3b.4c.2d.1e.5 9.a.3b.4c.2d.1 10.a.2b.4c.1d.3 11.a.1b.4c.3d.2 PARTVI TESTSFORPRACTICE,PRACTICE,PRACTICE •PracticeTestA •PracticeTestB •PracticeTestC •PracticeTestD PracticeTestA SECTION1 ESSAY TIME:25MINUTES Directions: Plan and write an essay in response to the assigned topic. Use the essay as an opportunitytoshowhowclearlyandeffectivelyyoucanexpressanddevelopideas.Presentyour thoughts logically and precisely. Include specific evidence or examples to support your point of view.Aplain,naturalwritingstyleisprobablybest.Thenumberofwordsisuptoyou,butquantity islessimportantthanquality. Limityouressaytotwosidesofthelinedpaperprovided.You’llhaveenoughspaceifyouwrite oneverylineandavoidwidemargins.Writeorprintlegiblybecausehandwritingthat’shardor impossibletoreadwilldecreaseyourscore. BESURETOWRITEONLYONTHEASSIGNEDTOPIC.ANESSAYWRITTENON ANOTHERTOPICWILLBESCORED“ZERO.” Ifyoufinishinlessthantwenty-fiveminutes,checkyourwork.Donotturntoanothersectionof thetest.REMEMBER,forPracticeTestsA-D,sincethisisane-Book,torecordallanswers separately. Thinkcarefullyaboutthefollowingpassageandtheassignmentbelow. Describinghisvisionfortheworld’sfuture,PresidentFranklinD.RoosevelttoldCongressin 1941 that “… we look forward to a world founded upon four essential human freedoms. The firstisfreedomofspeechandexpression….Thesecondisfreedomofeverypersontoworship Godinhisownway….Thethirdisfreedomfromwant….Thefourthisfreedomfromfear.” Allfourfreedomsarecrucialinafreesociety.Yet,Rooseveltmaybefaultedfornotaddinga fifth,asixth,orevenmorefreedomstothelist. Assignment:Giventheopportunitytoaddanotherfreedom,whatwouldyouchoose?Planandwrite anessayinwhichyouexplainyourchoice.Feelfreetoinventanewfreedomorsimplypickonethat alreadyexistsintheBillofRightsorelsewhere.Supportyourpositionwithreasoningandexamples takenfromyourobservations,experience,studies,orreading. Section1 ESSAY Timeallowed:25minutes Limityouressaytotwopages.Donotskiplines.Writeonlyinsidethebox. Thefollowingpagesforeachpracticetestareforreferenceonly. Endofessay. DonotproceedtoSection2untiltheallottedtime forSection1haspassed. AnswerSheetfor Multiple-ChoiceQuestions AllAnswerSheetsareforreferenceonlyine-Book. SECTION2 MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS TIME:25MINUTES ImprovingSentences Directions: The underlined sentences and sentence parts below may contain errors in standard English, including awkward or ambiguous expression, poor word choice (diction), incorrect sentence structure, or faulty grammar, usage, and punctuation. Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichofthefivealternativeversionsmosteffectivelyandcorrectlyexpressesthemeaning oftheunderlinedmaterial.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorrespondingspaceontheanswer sheet. Choice A always repeats the original. Choose A if none of the other choices improves the originalsentence. EXAMPLE The campers slept more poorer on the firstnightthanonthesecond ANSWER (A)morepoorer (B)lesspoorer (C)poorest (D)morepoorly (E)morepoorest 1.Thecaptainstandingonthebridgeoftheship,hehadneverseensuchastrongwindinallhis yearsatsea. (A)Thecaptainstandingonthebridgeoftheship,he (B)Standingonthebridgeoftheship,thecaptainhe (C)Standingonthebridgeoftheship,thecaptain (D)Tostandonthebridgeoftheship,thecaptain (E)Thecaptainstoodonthebridgeoftheship,andhe 2.Whatcanbeatthethrillofkickingasoccerballpastthegoalieforascoreandtohearapplause fromthecrowd? (A)ofkickingasoccerballpastthegoalieforascoreandtohearapplausefromthecrowd (B)ofkickingasoccerballpastthegoalieforascoreandtohearapplausebythecrowd (C)ofkickingasoccerballpastthegoalieforascoreandhearingthecrowdapplaud (D)tokickasoccerballpastthegoaliescoringagoal,andtohearthecrowdapplaud (E)ofhearingthecrowdapplaudafterhavingkickedasoccerballpastthegoalieforascore 3.Thefilm’sspecialeffectsandgrippingstorygiveaudiencesathrill. (A)giveaudiencesathrill (B)thrillsthepeoplewhoarewatching (C)giveathrilltothepeopleintheaudiencewatchingit (D)givethrillsinthewatchingofittotheaudience (E)givespeoplethrillsinwatchingit 4.Tocelebratethe100thanniversaryofthecollege,honoringthosealumniwhohadgraduated fiftyyearsago. (A)honoringthosealumniwhohadgraduatedfiftyyearsago (B)ceremoniesforgraduatesoffiftyyearsagowereheldinhonorofthesealumni (C)alumnigraduatingfiftyyearsagoreceivedhonors (D)alumniwhohadgraduatedfiftyyearsagowerehonored (E)graduatingalumnioffiftyyearsagowerehonored 5.ProfessorBromley,thefirsthistoriantorevealthestoryoftheMandantribe,doingit appropriatelyinconjunctionwiththebicentennialoftheLewisandClarkexpedition. (A)Bromley,thefirsthistoriantorevealthestoryoftheMandantribe,doingit (B)BromleywasthefirsthistoriantorevealthestoryoftheMandantribe,andwhodidso (C)BromleywasthefirsthistoriantohaverevealedthestoryoftheMandantribeanddoesit (D)BromleywasthefirsthistoriantorevealthestoryoftheMandantribe,tellingthetale (E)Bromley,thefirsthistorianrevealingthestoryoftheMandantribe,thetalewastold 6.DedeandMichellewereamongtheplayerschosenfortheall-countyfieldhockeyteam,their performanceinthishavingbeenexceptional. (A)team,theirperformanceinthishavingbeenexceptional (B)team;theyhaveperformedexceptionallyinthis (C)team,fortheyhaveperformedexceptionallyinthis (D)team;theirperformancehavingbeenexceptional (E)team,fortheirperformancehasbeenexceptional 7.TheWhiteHousechiefofstaff,inadditiontotheFirstLady,increasinglyinfluencethe administration’spolicies. (A)increasinglyinfluencetheadministration’spolicies (B)arebeingmoreandmoreinfluentialintheadministration’spolicies (C)areincreasingtheirinfluenceontheadministration’spolicies (D)isbecomingincreasinglymoreinfluentialindeterminingtheadministration’spolicies (E)increasinglyinfluencestheadministration’spolicies 8.Someofthetreeslookedonthevergeofdying,orasifalreadytheyhaddied. (A)asifalreadytheyhaddied (B)iftheyhadalready (C)whethertheyhaddiedalready (D)asthoughtheyhadalreadydied (E)liketheyhaddiedalready 9.Althoughthespeakersneverhavingreachedtheiraudience,theycouldn’texpressthemselves plainlyorinadown-to-earthmanner. (A)Althoughthespeakersneverhavingreachedtheiraudience,theycouldn’t (B)Thespeakersneverreachedtheiraudience,theycouldn’t (C)Neverhavingreachedtheiraudience,thespeakerscouldn’t (D)Thespeakersneverreachedtheiraudience;however,theycouldn’t (E)Thespeakersneverreachedtheiraudiencebecausetheycouldn’t 10.Ifweagreetopurchasethehousetoday,wewouldhavesaved$5,000. (A)Ifweagreetopurchasethehousetoday (B)Hadweagreedtopurchasethehousetoday (C)Ifwewouldofagreedtopurchasethehousetoday (D)Ifthepurchasingofthehousehadbeenagreedtotoday (E)Iftodaywewillagreetopurchasethehouse 11.MannedflightstoMarswillnotbeplanneduntilthefar-distantfuturebecauseitrequirescostly technologythatisyettobedeveloped. (A)futurebecauseitrequires (B)futurebecauseitwouldrequire (C)futurebecausetheyrequire (D)future,eachrequires (E)futuresincetheyarerequiring IdentifyingSentenceErrors Directions: The underlined and lettered parts of each sentence below may contain an error in grammar, usage, word choice (diction), or expression (idiom). Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichitem,ifany,containsanerror.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorresponding spaceontheanswersheet.Nosentencecontainsmorethanoneerror.Somesentencesmaycontain noerror.Inthatcase,thecorrectchoicewillalwaysbeE(Noerror). EXAMPLE Jillwent tothe ofthehillina fastertime herfriend,Jack. . ANSWER 12.WrittenbyWilliamGolding,thenovelLordoftheFlies schoolboys anuninhabitedisland. 13.Usingspeciallightingtechniques,foodstores shelves, whenagroupof thecolorofproduceon attractingconsumers,encouragingimpulsebuying,andmostimportant, theappearanceoffreshnessandwholesomeness. 14.Whilelookingaroundtheinfirmary,Iobservedmany patients happenedtobe suffering 15. thesameupperrespiratoryinfectionas nodoubtthatthesafe-drivingcampaignscheduledtobeginnextweek postponedforanotherweek welackthetimetoplanit 16.Expertsinmarinelifesaythat sharks acloserrelationshipbetweenbarracudas man-eating previouslythought. 17.Thethreat students usingcellphonesduringclasswithoutpermissionseems anoverreactiontotheproblem theprincipalisordinarilysensitiveandlevel- headed. 18.RayBradburyandIsaacAsimovstand writers,butthelatter, 19. astwoofAmerica’sgreatestsciencefiction more 500books,isbyfarthe onthesizeofournationaldebt,onemight nationonEarth howthemostpowerful itselfintosuchamess. 20.Theachievementsaswellasthefailuresofthespaceprogram manyyearsasmanyinterestgroupscompete 21. detailedmapwithhim acomputer Daveis totakea vocabularyfortheSATs limitedhelpintheimprovementofwritingskills. toarrestthesuspect theairportbeforeheis 24. ofcontention hesetsoutforabackpackingadventureinthewilderness. successfullyusecomputers 23.TheFBIagentschose ashareofthefederalbudget. lostinthemountainsofColoradofortwodays 22.Manystudents prolific. thatafternoon, arrestedhimat aflighttoAtlanta. itappearscoldandforbiddingon surface,theCaspianSea,the seas,teemswithaquaticlife 25.ThenamesLenoandLetterman comedianandLetterman alphabeticallyclosetogether, Lenois inland 26.Thein-classactivity andto 27. apresentation forming groups,discussingthequestionsaboutthebook, oftheclass. almostallsuccessfulcandidatesforpublicoffice groupoffundraisers,and, aplatformthatconvincedtheelectoratetochoose 28.AtBurgerKing,thehamburgersarevery contain astaff,ateamofvolunteers,a theyare and fat. 29.Althoughasalestaxmayseemlikeanefficientwayforcities harmfultolow-incomeconsumers wealthy revenues, more ImprovingParagraphs Directions: The passage below is the draft of a student’s essay. Some parts of the passage need improvement. Read the passage and answer the questions that follow. The questions are about revisions that might improve all or part of the passage’s organization, development, sentence structure, or choice of words. Choose the answer that best follows the requirements of standard writtenEnglish. Questions30–35refertothefollowingpassage. [1]Itisdifficulttodenythatmoderntechnologyhaschangedhumanbehavior. [2]Themethodsusedbyyoungperformerstryingtobreakintoshowbusinesshavebeenaltered greatly.[3]Thousandsofunknownmusiciansandactors,aimingtobecomefamous,haveturnedto electronicmeanstodemonstratetheirtalenttoproducersandcastingdirectors. [4]Fornexttonothing,hopefulperformersdoauditionsandsendthemoutonline.[5]Inthepast,it wouldcostmanythousandsofdollarstoputoutasampletapeorCD.[6]Membersofateenagerock bandoraspiringhighschoolactorsrentarecordingstudioorhireavideocrew,payingthemhundreds ofdollarsperhour.[7]Theydon’tdotheirbestworkinarushtosavemoney.[8]Andtheywouldincur hugeexpensestorecordabriefperformance.[9]ItisexpensivetosendouthundredsofCDstoagents, radioandTVstations,oranyotherplacewheresomeonemightlistenorlook.[10]Mostlikelynoone wouldpayattentionanyway,unlessmanyfansalreadyfollowedyourcareer. [11]Now,however,flipcamerasandothercommonvideoequipmentcanhelpbuddingperformers gettheirfootintoshowbusinesswiththree-minuteauditiontapespostedonYouTube,Facebook,and otherWebsites.[12]Recordingattheirownpace,eachauditionwon’tbereadytosendoutuntilit representstheperformer’sbestwork. [13]Broadwayhasembracedthistechnology.[14]Hundredsofactors,dancers,andsingersshow upforin-personauditions.[15]Itmaytakeweekstoscreenthemall.[16]Withonlinepresentations, castingdirectorscanmakedecisionsinseconds. [17]Usingtechnologyisnoguaranteeofsuccess.[18]Notlongagoapunkrockgroupnamed Thrice-TowedSlothspostedanalbumontheWeb.[19]Withinamonthover4,000listenershad downloadedit. 30.Thesentencethatbeststatesthemainideaoftheessayis (A)sentence1 (B)sentence3 (C)sentence4 (D)sentence11 (E)sentence17 31.Tobestconnectsentence6totherestofthesecondparagraph,whichisthebestwordorphrase toinsertafter“highschoolactors”insentence6(reprintedbelow)? Membersofateenagerockbandoraspiringhighschoolactorsrentarecordingstudioorhirea videocrew,payingthemhundredsofdollarsperhour. (A)can (B)will (C)might (D)shall (E)decidedto 32.Whichisthebestwaytocombineandrevisetheunderlinedportionsofsentences7and8 (reprintedbelow)? Theydon’tdotheirbestworkinarushtosavemoney.Andtheywouldincurhugeexpensesto recordabriefperformance. (A)inarushtosavemoneytheywouldincurhugeexpenses (B)rushingtosavemoney,incurhugeexpenses (C)incurringhugeexpensesintheirrushtosavemoney (D)andrushingtosavemoney,hugeexpenseswouldbeincurred (E)inarushtosavemoneyandwouldincurhugeexpenses 33.Whichofthefollowingisthebestrevisionoftheunderlinedportionofsentence12(reprinted below)? Recordingattheirownpace,eachauditionwon’tbereadytosendoutuntilitrepresentsthe performer’sbestwork. (A)theauditionwon’tbereadytosendoutuntiltheperformerknowsthatitrepresentstheir bestwork (B)performerswon’tbesendingoutauditionsunlessitrepresentstheirbestwork (C)performerswon’tsendoutanauditionthatrepresentslessthantheirbestwork (D)performersknowthattheirauditionswon’tbereadytobesentoutuntiltheyrepresenttheir bestwork (E)auditionswon’tbesentoutbytheperformeruntiltheyrepresenttheirbestwork. 34.Inthecontextoftheessay,whichofthefollowingisthebestcombinationofsentences13,14, 15,and16(reprintedbelow)? Broadwayhasembracedthistechnology.Hundredsofactors,dancers,andsingersshowupfor in-personauditions.Itmaytakeweekstoscreenthemall.Withonlinepresentations,casting directorscanmakedecisionsinseconds. (A)Havingembracedthistechnology,Broadway’scastingdirectors,whooncespentweeks screeningactors,dancers,andsingersatin-personauditions,cannowviewpresentations onlineandmakedecisionsinseconds. (B)Becauseofthespeedatwhichonlinepresentationscanbeviewed,incontrasttoin-person auditionsthatusuallyattractcrowdsofBroadwayhopefulsthatmaytakeweekstoscreen, Broadway’scastingdirectorshaveembracedthistechnology. (C)ThistechnologyhasbeenembracedbyBroadwaybecausehundredsofactors,dancers,and singersshowupforin-personauditionsandweeksareneededtoscreenthemall,butwith onlinepresentationsdecisionsaremadeinsecondsbycastingdirectors. (D)Decisionmakinginsecondsbeginswhenactors,dancers,andsingersbythehundredssent presentationsonlinetoBroadwaycastingdirectors,whohaveembracedthistechnologyin placeofin-personauditionsthattakeweekstocomplete. (E)Broadway’sembraceofthistechnologyhaschangedtheirmethodofauditionsfrominpersonappearancesbyhundredsofactors,dancers,andsingersthattakeweekstocomplete toonlinepresentationsthatinsecondscanbejudgedbycastingdirectors. 35.Inthecontextofthelastparagraph,whichsentencewouldbemostappropriatetofollow sentence19? (A)Inspiteofthegroup’sdisagreeablename,itssoundhasgreatappeal. (B)Thegroup’smusic,bytheway,isaneclecticmixofbuzz-sawdrone,twangyguitar,and hardcoredrumming. (C)TheSloths’leader,WhitCawley,sayshedoesn’twanttobethenextSidViciousorRichard Hell. (D)TheexperienceoftheThrice-TowedSloths,however,isarareexceptiontotherule. (E)Nowadays,othergroupsusetheWebastheironlymodeofdistribution. EndofSection2. DonotreturntoSection1.DonotproceedtoSection3untilthe allottedtimeforSection2haspassed. SECTION3 MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS TIME:10MINUTES ImprovingSentences Directions: The underlined sentences and sentence parts below may contain errors in standard English, including awkward or ambiguous expression, poor word choice (diction), incorrect sentence structure, or faulty grammar, usage, and punctuation. Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichofthefivealternativeversionsmosteffectivelyandcorrectlyexpressesthemeaning oftheunderlinedmaterial.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorrespondingspaceontheanswer sheet. Choice A always repeats the original. Choose A if none of the other choices improves the originalsentence. 1.Afterthebookwaspublished,theauthorhasbeencriticizedforplagiarizingpassagesfrom otherbooks. (A)authorhasbeencriticizedforplagiarizing (B)authorwascriticizedforplagiarizing (C)authorwillbecriticizedforplagiarizing (D)authorwouldhavebeencriticizedforplagiarizing (E)author,beingcriticizedforplagiarizing 2.Thenewnucleardesalinizationplant,beingbuiltontheriverbank,andiscostingfarmorethan expected. (A)plant,beingbuiltontheriverbank,andiscostingfarmorethanexpected (B)plantiscostingfarmorethanexpected,itisbeingbuiltontheriverbank (C)plantbeingbuiltontheriverbankiscostingfarmorethanexpected (D)plantiscostingfarmorethanexpectedbeingbuiltontheriverbank (E)planttobebuiltontheriverbankandtocostfarmorethanexpected 3.Atfiveyearsold,myfathertookmetogetahaircutfortheveryfirsttime. (A)Atfiveyearsold,myfathertookmetogetahaircutfortheveryfirsttime (B)Atfiveyearsold,myfathertookmetogetmyfirsthaircut (C)Myfathertookmeatfiveyearsoldtogetahaircutfortheveryfirsttime (D)WhenIwasfive,myfathertookmeformyfirsthaircut (E)AtagefiveIwastakenbymyfathertogetmyfirsthaircut,somethingIhadneverhad before 4.LessthanamonthfollowingLanceArmstrong’svictoryintheTourdeFrancebicyclerace, doctorsdiagnosedhiscancer. (A)doctorsdiagnosedhiscancer (B)whendoctorsdiagnosedhiscancer (C)hiscancerhadbeendiagnosedbyhisdoctors (D)whencancerwasdiagnosedforhimbydoctors (E)hehadcancerdiagnosedbyhisdoctors 5.ClaudeMonetstudiedthelightandcoloroftheFrenchcountryside,andthesearethe impressionsthatheincorporatedinmanyofhispaintings. (A)thesearetheimpressionsthatheincorporated (B)theincorporationoftheseimpressionswere (C)theseimpressionshavingbeenincorporated (D)hisincorporationoftheseimpressions (E)incorporatedhisimpressions 6.InthisarticleitcharacterizesCollinsasbeingbrilliant,ruthless,andlikelytoresignsoon. (A)InthisarticleitcharacterizesCollinsasbeingbrilliant,ruthless,andlikelytoresignsoon (B)Collins,characterizedinthisarticleasbeingbrilliant,ruthless,andlikelytoresignsoon (C)Inthisarticle,Collinsischaracterizedasbrilliant,ruthless,andheislikelytoresignsoon (D)Thisarticle,whichcharacterizesCollinsasbrilliantandruthless,saysthatheislikelyto resignsoon (E)Thisarticle,inwhichCollinsischaracterizedasbeingbrilliant,ruthlessandlikelyto resignsoon 7.Therefore,Iadmireanyorganizationthatspeaksupfordemocraticprinciples,evenwhenthey areforselfishaims. (A)evenwhentheyareforselfishaims (B)evenifitsmotiveisselfish (C)eveniftheirmotiveistobeforitsownselfishaims (D)whetherornotitisfortheirownselfishaims (E)evenwhetherornottheirmotiveisfortheirownselfishaims 8.Thebookisfilledwithcolorphotographsthatoffervividreminderstobothveteransand civiliansofthehorrorsofthewarinIraq. (A)photographsthatoffervividreminderstobothveteransand (B)photographs,whichoffersvividreminderstobothveteransand (C)photographs,whichofferbothvividreminderstoveteransplus (D)photographs;itoffersvividreminderstobothveteransaswellas (E)photographs;thisoffersvividremindersbothtoveteransand 9.Oneofthegreatliteraryfiguresofthetwentiethcentury,MaxwellPerkins,aneditorat Scribners,helpingHemingway,Fitzgerald,andThomasWolfebreakintoprint. (A)MaxwellPerkins,aneditoratScribners,helping (B)MaxwellPerkinswhoworkedasaneditorandhelped (C)MaxwellPerkinseditedatScribnerswhohelped (D)MaxwellPerkins,aneditoratScribners,helped (E)theeditor,MaxwellPerkins,helpedatScribners 10.Stillbeingboughtforitsappearanceandcharm,teddybearsrankamongthemostpopulartoys everinvented. (A)Stillbeingboughtforits (B)Stillhavingbeenboughtforits (C)Theyareconsistentlyboughtfortheir (D)Becausetheywereboughtfortheir (E)Consistentlyboughtfortheir 11.TwentyyearsagoPetersontookajobwiththefederalBureauofLandManagement,andhehas beenresponsibleformaintainingpubliclandseversince. (A)andhehasbeenresponsibleformaintainingpubliclandseversince (B)sincethenhisresponsibilityhasbeenmaintainingpubliclands (C)whereversinceheisresponsibleformaintainingpublicland (D)hehasbeenresponsibleformaintainingpubliclandssincethen (E)andsincethenisresponsibleformaintainingpubliclands 12.Flowingthroughsand,rocks,andsilt,variationsinthespeedofundergroundwateraremany. (A)variationsinthespeedofundergroundwateraremany (B)undergroundwatertravelsatvariousspeeds (C)thespeedofundergroundwatervaries (D)undergroundwaterspeedsvary (E)runningundergroundwatervaryinspeed 13.Theynotonlyspokeenthusiasticallyaboutthenewfertilizerbutalsopraisedthefarmerswho triedit. (A)Theynotonlyspokeenthusiasticallyaboutthenewfertilizerbutalsopraised (B)Theynotonlyspokeenthusiasticallyaboutthenewfertilizerbutalsopraising (C)Theynotonlyspokeenthusiasticallyaboutthenewfertilizerbutalsotopraise (D)Theyspokeenthusiasticallynotonlyaboutnewfertilizerbutalsopraising (E)Theyspokebothenthusiasticallyaboutthenewfertilizer,buttheyalsopraised 14.Inhiszealtomakearealisticmovie,thedirectorstudiedthelanguageofthestreetgang,andthe dialoguewasmadetosoundauthentic. (A)gang,andthedialoguewasmadetosoundauthentic (B)gangandmakingthedialoguesoundauthentic (C)gangandmadethedialoguesoundauthentic (D)gang,withtheresultbeingthatthedialogueisauthentic-sounding (E)ganginwherethedialoguesoundsauthentic EndofSection3. DonotreturntoSections1or2. ENDOFWRITINGTEST. AnswerKey SECTION1—THEESSAY What follows are ideas for answering the essay question given in this practice test. The essay you wrote may contain some of the same or similar ideas. Don’t be alarmed if your essay is much different,however.Yourapproachtothequestionmaybeatleastasvalidasanyofthosedescribed here: Becausethepromptinvitesyoutochooseanyfreedomyouwish,youcanpickonethataffectsyou personallyoronewithbroadimplicationsforsocietyandtheworld.Perhapsyouhavestrong feelingsaboutissuesoffreedomgermanetohighschoolstudents:thedrinkingage,schoolrules,the righttodriveafterdark.Oryoumightdiscussfreedommorebroadlyinanessaythatarguesfora freedomthatreleasesmankindfromthescourgewaroronethatdecreasesourdependenceonfossil fuel.Anyissue,fromhottopicslikeguncontrolandhealthcaretoanarrowinterestsuchthelaw requiringbikeriderstowearhelmets,providesmaterialforadiscussionaboutfreedom. Agoodessaycanalsobewrittenonalessweightymatter.Considerawishtobefreefrom overbearingparents,tyrannicalteachers,oranosysibling.Youmightspeakupforthefreedomto stayoutaslateasyouwish.Oryoumightchoosesomethingratherfrivoloussuchasyourneedtobe freeoffoulodorsandobjectionablenoises.Cometothinkofit,atthistimeinyourlife,youmight haveagooddealtosayaboutbeingfreeoftheSATandothercollegeadmissionshurdles. SELF-SCORINGGUIDE Using this guide, rate yourself in each of these six categories. Enter your scores in the spaces provided,andcalculatetheaverageofthesixratingstodetermineyourfinalscore. OntheSATitself,tworeaderswillscoreyouressayonascaleof6(high)to1(low),orzeroifyou failtowriteontheassignedtopic.Thescorewillbereportedtoyouasthesumofthetworatings, from12to0. RememberthatSATessaysarejudgedinrelationtootheressayswrittenonthesametopic. Therefore,thisscoringguidemaynotyieldatotallyaccuratepredictionofthescoreyoucanexpect ontheexam.Becauseitisdifficulttoreadyourownessaywithtotalobjectivity,youmightimprove thevalidityofyourscorebygettingasecondopinionaboutyouressayfromaninformedfriendora teacher. OverallImpression 6Consistentlyoutstandinginclarityandcompetence;veryinsightful;clearlydemonstratesa commandofwritingskills;few,ifany,errors 5Generallyeffectiveandreasonablyconsistentinclarityandcompetence;occasionalerrors orlapsesinquality;containssomeinsight 4Adequatecompetence;somelapsesinquality;fairlyclearandwithevidenceofinsight 3Generallyinadequatebutdemonstratespotentialcompetence;containssomeconfusing aspects 2Seriouslylimited;significantweaknessesinquality;generallyunclearorincoherent 1Demonstratesfundamentalincompetence;containsseriousflaws;significantlyundeveloped orconfusing Score DevelopmentofPointofView 6Fullydevelopedwithclear,convincing,andappropriatesupportingmaterial;demonstrates highlevelofcriticalthinking 5Generallywelldevelopedwithrelevantexamples,reasons,andotherevidencetosupporta mainidea;demonstratesstrongcritical-thinkingskills 4Partlydevelopsamainideawithrelativelyappropriateexamplesandreasons;showssome evidenceofcriticalthinking 3Weakdevelopmentofmainideaandlittleevidenceofcriticalthinking;barelyappropriate examplesorothersupportingmaterial 2Lacksafocusonamainidea;weakcriticalthinking;inappropriateorinsufficientevidence 1Failstoarticulateaviablepointofview;providesvirtuallynoevidenceofunderstanding theprompt Score OrganizationofIdeas 6Extremelywellorganizedandfocusedonamainidea;supportingevidencepresentedinan effective,logicalsequence 5Generallywellorganizedandreasonablyfocusedonamainidea;mostlycoherentand logicalpresentationofsupportingmaterial 4Reasonablyorganized;showssomeevidenceofthoughtfulsequenceandprogressionof ideas 3Limitedorganizationandvaguefocusonmainidea;containssomeconfusioninthe sequenceofideas 2Barelyrecognizableorganization;littlecoherence;seriousproblemswithsequenceof ideas 1Nodiscernableorganization;incoherentsequenceofideas Score LanguageandWordChoice 6Highlyeffectiveandskillfuluseoflanguage;varied,appropriate,andaccuratevocabulary 5Demonstratescompetenceinuseoflanguage;appropriateandcorrectvocabulary 4Adequatebutinconsistentuseofeffectivelanguage;conventionalbutmostlycorrectuseof vocabulary 3Someminorerrorsinexpression;generallyweakorlimitedvocabulary;occasionally inappropriatewordchoice 2Frequenterrorsinexpression;verylimitedvocabulary;incorrectwordchoiceinterferes withmeaning 1Seriouslydeficientinuseoflanguage;meaningobscuredbywordchoice Score SentenceStructure 6Variedandengagingsentencestructure 5Reasonablyvariedsentencestructure 4Somesentencevariation 3Littlesentencevariation;minorsentenceerrors 2Frequentsentenceerrors 1Severesentenceerrors;meaningobscured Score Grammar,Usage,andMechanics 6Virtuallyorentirelyerror-free 5Relativelyfreeoftechnicalflaws 6Someminorerrors;oneortwomajorerrors 3Accumulatedminorandmajorerrors 2Containsfrequentmajorerrorsthatinterferewithmeaning 1Containssevereerrorsthatobscuremeaning Score ANSWERSTOMULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS SECTION2 1.C 2.C 3.A 4.D 5.D 6.E 13.D 14.B 15.B 16.B 17.E 18.D 25.D 26.C 27.B 28.A 29.B 30.B 7.E 8.D 9.E 10.B 11.C 12.C 19.C 20.A 21.A 22.B 23.D 24.E 31.C 32.E 33.C 34.A 35.D 6.D 7.B 8.A 9.D 10.E 11.A 12.B 13.A 14.C SECTION3 1.B 2.C 3.D 4.A 5.E PerformanceEvaluationChart ConversionTable Thistablewillgiveyouanapproximationofwhatyourscorewouldbeifthispracticetesthadbeen anactualSATWritingTest.Theessaycountsforroughly30percentofthefinalscore;themultiplechoicequestions,forroughly70percent. Forexample,ifyourMultiple-ChoiceRawScorewas35andyourEssaySubscorewas6,thetable indicatesthatyourfinalscoreonthetestwouldbeapproximatelyhalfwaybetween500and710,or 600. AnswerExplanations Note:Althoughsomechoicescontainmultipleerrors,onlyoneortwomajorerrorsareexplained foreachincorrectchoice. TIP KeytoLevelsofDifficulty Rating EASY MEDIUM HARD Percentageofstudents likelytoanswercorrectly >80% >65% <65% SECTION2—IMPROVINGSENTENCES 1.CA.Mixedconstruction.TheconstructionthatbeginswithThecaptainstandinghasno grammaticalrelationshipwiththemainclause. B.Redundancy.Useeitherheorthecaptain,notboth. D.Mixedconstruction.TheinfinitivephrasethatbeginsTostandisnotlogicallyrelatedtothe mainclause. E.Faultycoordination.Thiscompoundsentencecontainstwoideasthatwouldbemore effectivelystatedinacomplexsentence. EASY 2.CA.Faultyparallelism.Coordinateelementsinasentenceshouldbeinparallelgrammatical form.Thephrasesofkickingandtoheararenotparallel. B.Idiomerror.Incontext,theprepositionbyisnotstandardusage.Useoforfrom. D.Idiomerror.IncontextthephrasetokickisnotstandardEnglishusage. E.Misplacedmodifier.Thephraseafterhavingkickedasoccerballshouldnotrefertocrowd buttothescorerofthegoal.UseafterIhavekicked. MEDIUM 3.AB.Subject–verbagreement.Thecompoundsubject,specialeffectsandgrippingstory, requiresapluralverb.Usethrill. C.Wordiness.Theconstructionisneedlesslywordy. D.Clumsyconstruction. E.Pronounreference.Thepronounitfailstoreferspecificallytoanounorotherpronoun. EASY 4.DA.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksasubjectandaverb. B.Wordinessandredundancy.Thephrasegraduatesoffiftyyearsagoandthewordalumni areredundant. C.Verbtense.Theverbgraduatingimpliespresentaction,butthesentencereferstoeventsin thepast. E.Dictionerror.Alumnidonotgraduatefromcollege;studentsdo. HARD 5.DA.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainclause. B.Mixedconstruction.Theclausebeginningandwhodidsoisgrammaticallyunrelatedtothe firstclause. C.Shiftinverbtense.Castinthepasttense,thesentenceshiftstothepresent. E.Shiftingrammaticalsubject.ThesubjectshiftsfromBromleytothetale. HARD 6.EA.Pronounreference.Thepronounthisfailstorefertoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. B.SameasA. C.SameasA. D.Sentencefragment.Semicolonsseparatecompletesentences.Theconstructionthatstarts theirperformancelacksaverbandis,therefore,incomplete. MEDIUM 7.EA.Subject–verbagreement.Chiefofstaffissingular;influenceisplural. B.Subject–verbagreement.Chiefofstaffissingular;arebeingisplural. C.Subject–verbagreement.Chiefofstaffissingular;areincreasingisplural. D.Wordiness.Thewordsincreasinglyandmoreareredundant. HARD 8.DA.Syntaxerror.Theplacementofalreadymakesthephrasenonstandard. B.Incompleteconstruction.Theverbshouldbehaddied. C.Dictionerror.Theuseofthewordwhethermakesnosenseinthecontext. E.Dictionerror.Likeintroducesaphrase;asintroducesaclause.Useashere. HARD 9.EA.Faultysubordination.Thefirstclauselacksbothagrammaticalandalogicalrelationship withthesecond. B.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. C.Sentenceshift.ThephrasebeginningNeverhavinglacksalogicalrelationshipwiththe remainderofthesentence. D.Dictionerror.Thewordhowevermakeslittlesenseinthecontext. MEDIUM 10.BA.Shiftinverbtense.Incontext,theverbagreeindicatesfutureactionandisinconsistentwith themainverbofthesentencewouldhavesaved,whichindicatesactionalreadycompleted. C.Faultydiction.Wouldofisnonstandard.Usewouldhave. D.Clumsyconstruction.Thephrasethepurchasingofthehouseisawkwardlyexpressed. E.Shiftinverbtense.Thefutureactionindicatedbytheverbwillagreeisinconsistentwiththe mainverbwouldhavesaved,whichindicatesactionalreadycompleted. HARD 11.CA.Pronoun–antecedentagreement.Flightsisplural;itissingular.Usethey. B.SameasA. D.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentsentences. E.Verbtense.Thesentencereferstoeventsthatwon’toccuruntilthefuture.Theverbare requiringpertainstothepresent. MEDIUM SECTION2—IDENTIFYINGSENTENCEERRORS 12.CNoun–verbagreement.Thewordgroupissingular,theverbgetisplural.Usegets. EASY 13.DFaultyparallelism.Thephraseitcreatesisnotparalleltotheotherverbs.Usecreating. MEDIUM 14.BPronounchoice.Usewhoinsteadofwhichwhenreferringtopeople. MEDIUM 15.BVerbtenseerror.Usethefuturetensetodescribeeventstakingplaceinthefuture.Usewill havetobe. MEDIUM 16.BIdiomerror.Useandinsteadofwith. MEDIUM 17.ENoerror. EASY 18.DFaultycomparison.Usemorewhencomparingtwoentities;usemostforcomparingthreeor more. MEDIUM 19.CPronounshift.Thesentence,castinthirdperson,shiftstosecondperson.Useoneself. EASY 20.ASubject–verbagreement.Thesubjectachievementsisplural;theverbhasbeenissingular.Use havebeen. EASY 21.AVerbtense.Theparticiplebeingshouldbeusedonlytodescribeanactionoccurringatthe sametimeastheactiondescribedbythemainverb.Usehavingbeen. HARD 22.BIdiomerror.Thephraseinthebetteringofisnonstandard.Usetoimprove. EASY 23.DTenseshift.Thesentenceiscastinthepasttense.Useboarded. EASY 24.ENoerror. MEDIUM 25.DFaultycomparison.Add–ertothepositiveformwhencomparingtwoentities.Add–estwhen comparingthreeormore.Usequicker. MEDIUM 26.CFaultyparallelism.Theverbisnotparalleltotheotherverbsintheseries.Usegiving. MEDIUM 27.BSubject–verbagreement.Acompoundsubjectrequiresapluralverb.Usestand. HARD 28.AFaultycomparison.HamburgersmaynotbecomparedtoMcDonald’s.Usesimilartothoseat McDonald’s. HARD 29.BPronoun–antecedentagreement.Theantecedenttaxissingular.Thepronoun–verbphrasethey areisplural.Useitis. HARD SECTION2—IMPROVINGPARAGRAPHS 30.BBChoiceAmayseemlikethemainidea,butitisfartoobroadforthelimitedsubjectmatter ofthisessay.Ideally,itoughttobeeliminated. ChoiceBcontainstheessay’smainpoint.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceCdoeslittlemorethanbegintoamplifytheideacontainedintheprevioussentence. ChoiceDistoolimitedtobethemainidea.Itmerelycitesexamplesofchangesbrought aboutbytechnology. ChoiceEsteerstheessayinanewdirection.Therefore,itdoesn’tqualifyasthemainidea. MEDIUM 31.CChoiceA,averbinthesimplepresenttense,doesnotfitapassagethatusestheconditional wordwouldbeforeeachverb. ChoiceB,averbinthefuturetense,doesnotfitapassagethatusestheconditionalword wouldbeforeeachverb. ChoiceCisappropriateinapassagewrittenintheconditionalmode. ChoiceDexpressesafutureconditionthat,incontext,isbothirrelevantandinappropriate. ChoiceEusesaverbinthepasttensethatisinconsistentwiththeconditionalwould,usedin sentences5,7,and8. MEDIUM 32.EChoiceAisarun-onsentence.Itneedspunctuation—eitheraperiodorasemicolon—between moneyandthey. ChoiceBcontainsmixedsentenceconstructionthatleavestheverbincurwithouta grammaticalsubject. ChoiceCrepresentsthesyntaxofalinguisticallychallengedwriter. ChoiceDcontainsaprobleminmodification;thephraserushingtosavemoneymustmodify theperformeroftheaction(they),notexpenses. ChoiceEisanaccurateandcogentversionoftheoriginal.Itisthebestanswer. HARD 33.CChoiceAcontainsadanglingmodifier.ThephraseRecordingattheirownpaceshould modifyperformers,notaudition. ChoiceBcontainsthesingularpronounitthatfailstoagreewithitspluralantecedent auditions. ChoiceCcorrectsthedanglingmodifierinsentence12andcorrectlysayswhattheauthor intended.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceD,besidesbeingwordy,containstwopronouns(theyandtheir)withambiguous antecedents. ChoiceEcontainsadanglingmodifier.ThephraseRecordingattheirownpaceshould modifyperformers,notauditions.Inaddition,thereferencesofthepronounstheyandtheir areambiguous,ifnotconfusing. HARD 34.AChoiceAincludesalltherelevantinformationinasinglesentencethatcorrectlystateswhat thewriteroftheessaytriedtoconvey.Itisthebestanswer. ChoiceBcontainsalltheinformationintheoriginalfoursentences.Inanefforttocontrast onlinepresentationswithin-personauditions,however,thewriterhasmistakenlyand illogicallycontrastedspeedandauditions. ChoiceCcontainstheinformationintheoriginalfoursentencesbutisstylisticallyweak becauseitrepeatedlyusesthepassivevoice. ChoiceDfailstoemphasizethepointofthefouroriginalsentences,namely,Broadway’s embraceoftechnology.Instead,iterroneouslyemphasizesthespeedofdecisionmaking.A shiftofverbtensesfrompresenttopastweakensthesentencestillfurther. ChoiceEconveystheinformationintheoriginalfoursentences.Butitusesthewordtheir,a pronounwithoutaspecificantecedent.Nodoubtthewriterintendedtheirtoreferto Broadway’s,butthistooisanerror,firstbecausetheirispluralandBroadwayisnot,butalso becausepronounsshouldnotrefertopossessivenouns. HARD 35.DChoicesA,B,C,andEfailtodevelopsentence17,theideastatedbytheparagraph’stopic sentence—thatis,theuseofthelatesttechnologydoesn’tguaranteesuccess.OnlychoiceD refersdirectlytothatpoint.Itisthebestanswer. MEDIUM SECTION3—IMPROVINGSENTENCES 1.BA.Shiftinverbtense.Theverbhasbeencriticizedshiftsthesentence,castinthepasttense,to thepresentperfecttense. C.Shiftinverbtense.Theverbwillbecriticizedshiftsthesentence,castinthepasttense,to thefuturetense. D.Shiftinverbtense.Theverbwouldhavebeencriticizedshiftsthesentence,castinthepast tense,tothefutureperfecttense. E.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. EASY 2.CA.Mixedconstruction.Theuseofandintroducesaconstructiongrammaticallyandlogically unrelatedtotheearlierpartofthesentence. B.Commasplice.Acomma(betweenexpectedandit)maynotbeusedtoseparatetwo independentclauses. D.Syntaxerror.ThewordorderisnotstandardEnglish. E.Sentencefragment.Thegrammaticalsubjectplantlacksamainverb. MEDIUM 3.DA.Misplacedmodifier.AtfiveyearsoldshouldmodifyI(thespeaker),notmyfather. B.Misplacedmodifier.AtfiveyearsoldshouldmodifyI(thespeaker),notmyfather. C.Wordiness.Substitutemyfirsthaircutforahaircutfortheveryfirsttimetomakethe sentencemorecogent. E.Redundancy.Firstandneverhadbeforeareredundant. MEDIUM 4.AB.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. C.Shiftinverbtense.Thesentenceiscastinthepasttense,thenincorrectlyshiftstothepast perfect,hadbeendiagnosed. D.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. E.Wordy.Althoughthesentenceisgrammatical,itsuseofpassivevoiceleadstoexcessive wordiness. EASY 5.EA.Faultycoordination.Thiscompoundsentencecontainsideasthatwouldbemoreeffectively expressedbysubordinatingoneclausetotheother. B.Subject–verbagreement.Thesingularsubjectincorporationrequiresasingularverb.Use wasinsteadofwere. C.Sentencefragment.Thesecondclauselacksamainverb. D.Sentencefragment.Thesecondclauselacksaverb. MEDIUM 6.DA.Faultypronounreference.Thepronounitlacksaspecificreferent. B.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. C.Faultycoordination.Thetwocoordinateclausesstateseeminglyunrelatedinformationand containideasofunequalimportance. E.Sentencefragment.Thegrammaticalsubject,article,lacksaverb. HARD 7.BA.Pronoun–antecedentagreement.Thenounorganizationissingular;thepronountheyis plural.Useit. C.Shiftinpronounnumber.Thepronounshiftspluraltosingular. D.Pronounreference.Thepronounitlacksaspecificreferent. E.Wordy.Thephrasetheirownselfishaimsisredundant.Bydefinitionselfishaimsarefor oneself. HARD 8.AB.Noun–verbagreement.Thepluralnounphotographsrequiresapluralverb.Useoffer. C.Misplacedmodifier.Thewordbothshouldmodifyveterans,notvividreminders. D.Wordy.Bothandaswellasareredundant.Useoneortheother. E.Pronounreference.Thepronounthislacksaspecificreferent. HARD 9.DA.Faultyverbform.The–ingformofaverbmaynotserveasthemainverbofasentence withoutahelpingverb. B.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. C.Incorrectpronounreference.ThepronounwhoreferstoScribnersinsteadofPerkins. E.Idiomerror.TheconstructionhelpedatScribnersHemingway,etc….isnotstandard English. EASY 10.EA.Pronoun–antecedentagreement.Thenounteddybearsisplural;thepronounitsissingular. Usetheir. B.Shiftinverbtense.Thesentenceiscastinthepresenttense,thenincorrectlyshiftstothe pastparticiple,havingbeen. C.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. D.Faultysubordination.Thesubordinatingconjunctionbecausefailstoestablishalogical relationshipbetweenclauses. MEDIUM 11.AB.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. C.Idiomerror.ThephrasewhereversinceisnotstandardEnglish. D.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. E.Verbtense.Theuseofis,averbinthepresenttense,maynotbeusedtodescribepastand continuingaction.Usehasbeen. MEDIUM 12.BA.Danglingparticiple.TheparticipialphrasethatbeginsFlowingthroughshouldmodify waterinsteadofvariations. C.Danglingparticiple.TheparticipialphrasethatbeginsFlowingthroughshouldmodify waterinsteadofspeed. D.Danglingparticiple.TheparticipialphrasethatbeginsFlowingthroughshouldmodify waterinsteadofspeeds. E.Subject–verbagreement.Waterissingular;varyisplural.Usevaries. MEDIUM 13.AB.Faultyparallelism.Theverbspokeisnotparallelinformtopraising. C.Faultyparallelism.Theverbspokeisnotparallelinformtotheinfinitivetopraise. D.Faultyparallelism.Thephraseaboutthenewfertilizerspokeisnotparalleltotheverb praising. E.Incompleteconstruction.Theuseofbothindicatestheneedforasecondadverbpairedwith enthusiastically. MEDIUM 14.CA.Mixedconstruction.Thefirstclauseofthecompoundsentenceisintheactivevoice,the secondinthepassivevoice. B.Faultyverbform.The–ingformofaverbmaynotserveasthemainverbofasentence withoutahelpingverb. D.Wordy.Theconstructioncontainstoomanyunnecessarywords. E.Idiom.ThephraseganginwhereisnotstandardEnglish. HARD PracticeTestB SECTION1 ESSAY TIME:25MINUTES Directions: Plan and write an essay in response to the assigned topic. Use the essay as an opportunitytoshowhowclearlyandeffectivelyyoucanexpressanddevelopideas.Presentyour thoughts logically and precisely. Include specific evidence or examples to support your po nt of view.Aplain,naturalwritingstyleisprobablybest.Thenumberofwordsisuptoyou,butquantity islessimportantthanquality. Limityouressaytotwosidesofthelinedpaperprovided.You’llhaveenoughspaceifyouwrite oneverylineandavoidwidemargins.Writeorprintlegiblybecausehandwritingthat’shardor impossibletoreadwilldecreaseyourscore. BESURETOWRITEONLYONTHEASSIGNEDTOPIC.ANESSAYWRITTENON ANOTHERTOPICWILLBESCORED“ZERO.” Ifyoufinishinlessthantwenty-fiveminutes,checkyourwork.Donotturntoanothersectionof thetest. SeePracticeTestA. Thinkcarefullyaboutthefollowingpassagesandtheassignmentbelow. Passage1 Educatorsrecognizethatacademicgrowthisthehighestpriorityofaschool.Toassurethat academicgrowthisnotimpededbyparticipationinathleticsandotheractivities,certain restrictionsmustbeplacedonstudentparticipation.Theserestrictionsareintendedforthe students’guidanceandassistanceandaremeanttocontributetotheachievementofthegoalsset byschoolsincarryingouttheirmission. Passage2 •Therearenearly1millionhighschoolfootballplayersandabout550,000basketballplayers. Ofthatnumber,about250makeittotheNFLandabout50makeanNBAteam. •Lessthan3percentofcollegeseniorswillplayoneyearinprofessionalbasketball. •Theoddsofahigh-schoolfootballplayermakingittotheprosatall—letalonehavinga career—areabout6,000to1;theoddsforahighschoolbasketballplayer—10,000to1. AdaptedfromalettertostudentswrittenbyCedricW.Dempsey, PresidentoftheNationalCollegiateAthleticAssociation Assignment: In many high schools, students who fail a certain number of academic courses are ineligible to participate in varsity athletics and other time-consuming extracurricular activities. Shouldeligibilitytoparticipateinschoolsportsandactivitiesbetiedtoclassroomperformance?Plan andwriteanessaythatexplainsyourpointofview.Supportyouropinionwithevidenceandexamples drawnfromyourstudies,reading,observation,orexperience. Section1 ESSAY Timeallowed:25minutes Limityouressaytotwopages.Donotskiplines.Writeonlyinsidethebox. Endofessay. DonotproceedtoSection2untiltheallottedtime forSection1haspassed. AnswerSheetfor Multiple-ChoiceQuestions SECTION2 MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS TIME:25MINUTES ImprovingSentences Directions: The underlined sentences and sentence parts below may contain errors in standard English, including awkward or ambiguous expression, poor word choice (diction), incorrect sentence structure, or faulty grammar, usage, and punctuation. Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichofthefivealternativeversionsmosteffectivelyandcorrectlyexpressesthemeaning oftheunderlinedmaterial.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorrespondingspaceontheanswer sheet. Choice A always repeats the original. Choose A if none of the other choices improves the originalsentence. EXAMPLE MyoldAuntMaudloves tocook,andeatingalso ANSWER (A)cook,andeatingalso (B)cookandtoeat (C)cook,andtoeatalso (D)cookandeatbesides (E)cookand,inaddition,eat 1.AllalongtheroadinPennsylvania,oneseeswonderfuloldhorsebarns,eachwithitsunique decorations. (A)eachwithitsuniquedecorations (B)eachhavingtheirownuniquedecorations (C)andeachofthemhaveuniquedecorationsoftheirown (D)whichhasitsownuniquedecorations (E)theyallhavetheirownuniquedecorations 2.AsastudentatTulaneUniversity,whereJuliegrewtolovehistorywithapassion,ultimately leadingtoajobasahistorianattheUnitedStatesLibraryofCongress. (A)whereJuliegrewtolovehistorywithapassion,ultimatelyleading (B)Juliegrewtolovehistorywithapassionthatultimatelyled (C)whereshegrewtolovehistorywithapassion,asaresultleadingJulieultimately (D)Julie’sloveforhistorygrewwithapassionanditultimatelyledher (E)whereJuliegrewtopassionatelylovehistory,ultimatelyleadingher 3.TheletterwasintendedforBetsyandhim,buttheactualrecipientsofthebadnewswerePeter andI. (A)Betsyandhim,buttheactualrecipientsofthebadnewswerePeterandI (B)BetsyandI,buttheactualrecipientsofthebadnewswerePeterandI (C)Betsyandhim,butPeterandmeactuallyreceivedthebadnews. (D)Betsyandhe,buttheactualrecipientsofthebadnewsturnedouttobePeterandme (E)BetsyandI,butthebadnewswasactuallyreceivedbyPeterandI 4.FundsthatareearnedastipsisoneofthemostdifficultsourcesofincomefortheInternal RevenueServicetomonitor. (A)Fundsthatareearnedastipsis (B)Howmoneythatgetsearnedastipsis (C)Earningtipsare (D)Tipsare (E)Thefundsearnedbytippingis 5.ThefictionalcharactersinthenovelWarandPeaceareassimilarasthefriendsand acquaintancesthattheauthor,LeoTolstoy,actuallyhad. (A)areassimilaras (B)beingsimilarto (C)resembling (D)isthesameas (E)aresimilarto 6.Todaythereismoreviolencethanthe1950sand1960s,whengunsweremoredifficultto obtain. (A)than (B)thentherewasin (C)thanin (D)thanaround (E)comparedto 7.WhilewalkingdownMarketStreet,thatwaswhenClarissasightedheroldguitarinthepawn shopwindow. (A)thatwaswhenClarissasightedheroldguitarinthepawnshopwindow (B)Clarissasightedheroldguitarinthepawnshopwindow (C)thenthesightingofClarissa’soldguitartookplace (D)Clarissa’soldguitarwassightedinthepawnshopwindow (E)inthewindowofthepawnshopheroldguitarwassightedbyClarissa 8.Theconsultant,Dr.Smart,agreedtostudytheschool’sscheduleandshewouldmeetwith students,teachers,andadministratorstodiscussit. (A)andshewouldmeetwithstudents,teachers,andadministratorstodiscussit (B)andmeetingwithstudents,teachers,andadministratorsfordiscussingit (C)inholdingdiscussionsatmeetingswithstudents,teachers,andadministratorsaboutit (D)meetingfordiscussingaboutitwithstudents,teachers,andadministrators (E)bydiscussingitwithstudents,teachers,andadministrators 9.BecausedinosaurswerethehugestcreaturesevertoroamtheEarthisthereasonwhytheyare fascinatingtous. (A)BecausedinosaurswerethehugestcreaturesevertoroamtheEarthisthereasonwhy (B)BecausedinosaurswerethehugestcreaturesevertoroamtheEarth, (C)DinosaurswerethehugestcreaturesthateverroamedtheEarthandisthereasonwhy (D)Asaresultofdinosaurs,thehugestcreaturesevertoroamtheEarth, (E)DinosaursarethehugestcreaturesevertoroamtheEarth, 10.Recitingpoems,oneoftheearliestformsofentertainment,itincreasedincomplexityaswellas sophisticationastimewenton. (A)entertainment,itincreasedincomplexityaswellassophistication (B)entertainment,theyincreasedinbothcomplexityandsophistication (C)entertainmentwhichbothincreasedincomplexityaswellassophistication (D)entertainment,andtheyincreasedintheircomplexityaswellasgrowingmore sophisticated (E)entertainment,increasedincomplexityandsophistication 11.ThomasWolfe,theearly20th-centuryAmericanwriteroftenconfusedwiththecontemporary novelistTomWolfe,grewupinAsheville,NorthCarolina. (A)writeroftenconfusedwiththecontemporarynovelistTomWolfe,grewupinAsheville, NorthCarolina (B)writer,havinggrownupinAsheville,NorthCarolina,isoftenmistakenwiththe contemporarynovelistTomWolfe (C)writer,grewupinAsheville,NorthCarolina,butisoftenconfusedwiththecontemporary novelistTomWolfe (D)writerhasoftenbeenconfusedwithTomWolfe,thecontemporarynovelist,growingupin Asheville,NorthCarolina (E)writer,whilegrowingupinAsheville,NorthCarolina,wasoftenconfusedwiththe contemporarynovelistTomWolfe IdentifyingSentenceErrors Directions: The underlined and lettered parts of each sentence below may contain an error in grammar, usage, word choice (diction), or expression (idiom). Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichitem,ifany,containsanerror.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorresponding spaceontheanswersheet.Nosentencecontainsmorethanoneerror.Somesentencesmaycontain noerror.Inthatcase,thecorrectchoicewillalwaysbeE(Noerror). EXAMPLE Jillwent tothe ofthehillina fastertime herfriend,Jack. . ANSWER 12. Bakertellsstories beforeheenteredhighschool,whenhe delivernewspaperstothehugeestatesandmansions 13. theriverfront. thetwoHemingwaynovelsIhaveread,IlikeAFarewelltoArms ofitsstructurebutalso of 14.Telemarketersarefinding morning notonlybecause fascinatingstory. successmakingsales they customersinthe lateintheday. 15.Childpsychologists youngchildren arepushed activitiesprematurely thepainoffailureandfrustration. 16. MartinLutherKing’sbirthday January15, January, onthethirdMondayof ofthedate. 17.Workinspecializedfields bacteriology,publichealth,andphysics atleasta bachelor ’sdegree,andforacareerinmanagementorresearch,amaster ’sdegree a doctorate required. 18.Thegovernor from reductionsinthesalestax theygotothestore. 19.IfDanielRadcliffe alive theheydayofHollywood’sdebonairleadingactors,he probablywouldhavebeenconsidered 20. afterElvisdied showingup 21. consumerscanbenefit andboyish asabigstar. thathewasseenroamingtheland,drivinghiscar, atrock-n-rollconcerts,and thedisappointmentofthecrowd, hiscountlessfansveryexcited. thepresidentnor ofhisaides ableto attendtheceremony. 22.Melissawastaughtearlyinlife feelings,sheshould wearasmile, trytobecheerfulandupbeat,andneversayanythingabout 23.Asafreshmanbecomes theroutinesanddemandsofcollegelife, therigorsofhighschool goodpreparation. 24.Thecollectivethoughts,reflections,memories,andopinions pagesofthe magazine may theseniorsinthe thediversityanduniquenessthat Brookdale HighSchool. 25.Manyteachersadvocate thewayyoungchildrenlearn that willbe moresuccessfulinthelongrun. 26. how passengersarescreened adeterminedterroristwillinevitably findawaytoboard airplane. 27. thestartofthehockeyseason,thecoach tomy toexplain hecut mefromthevarsity. 28.WhenAnnie tobuyanaffordableautomobile,shedecidedtolook acar thatherfriendsweredriving. 29.Theaward-winningSoundofMusic bymoremoviegoers film thehistoryofthemovies. ImprovingParagraphs Directions: The passage below is the draft of a student’s essay. Some parts of the passage need improvement. Read the passage and answer the questions that follow. The questions are about revisions that might improve all or part of the passage’s organization, development, sentence structure, or choice of words. Choose the answer that best follows the requirements of standard writtenEnglish. Questions30–35refertothefollowingpassage. [1]MuchofRussialiesunderacoverofsnowandiceformostoftheyear.[2]Permafrostcoversthe tundra.[3]PortsinnorthernRussiaarenotnavigableformostoftheyearbecausetheyarefrozenin. [4]Inthesouth,theBlackSeagivesRussiaaccesstowarmwaterports.[5]ThereasonthattheBlack Seaisimportantisbecauseitgivesthemtheabilitytoexporttimber,furs,coal,oil,andotherraw materialsthataretradedforfoodandmanufacturedgoods.[6]TheBlackSeawillcontinuetohelp theireconomicgrowth. [7]TheEnglishChannelhasservedasabarrierbetweenGreatBritainandtherestofEurope.[8]It haspreventedattacksonGreatBritainforhundredsofyears.[9]ExceptfortheNormaninvasionmore than900yearsago.[10]Thisallowedthenationtodevelopeconomicallyandremainpolitically stable.[11]TheisolationofGreatBritainallowedtheindustrialrevolutiontobegininEngland. [12]MuchofEgyptiscoveredbydesert.[13]ThedesertisirrigatedbytheNileRiver.[14]Itis longerthananyriverintheworld.[15]Thelandalongtheriverhashistoricallybeenthesiteoffarms andothersettlements.[16]Forcenturies,theriverhaddepositedrichparticlesofsoilforgrowing cropsalongitsbanks.[17]SincebuildingtheAswanHighDamin1968,thefarmersdownstreamfrom thedamhavebeenusingartificialfertilizer.[18]ThebanksoftheNileandtheriver’sdeltaareamong themostproductivefarmingareasintheworld.[19]Therefore,Egypt’speopledependontheNile. [20]Russia,GreatBritain,andEgyptareonlythreecountriesthathavebeenshapedanddeveloped bybodiesofwater. 30.Whichisthebestrevisionoftheunderlinedsegmentofsentence5(reproducedbelow)? ThereasonthattheBlackSeaisimportantisbecauseitgivesthemtheabilitytoexporttimber, furs,coal,oil,andotherrawmaterialsthataretradedforfoodandmanufacturedgoods. (A)thatitenablesRussiatoexport (B)itsabilitytoallowexportsof (C)theabilityofRussiatoexport (D)becauseofexportingopportunitiesof (E)forRussianexportsof 31.Inthecontextofthesecondparagraph,whichisthebestrevisionofsentences8and9 (reproducedbelow)? IthaspreventedattacksonGreatBritainforhundredsofyears.ExceptfortheNormaninvasion morethan900yearsago. (A)TheEnglishchannelhaspreventedGreatBritain’sbeingattackedforhundredsofyears; exceptfortheNormaninvasionof1066. (B)Ithaspreventedattacks,exceptfortheNormaninvasionin1066,onGreatBritainfor hundredsofyears. (C)ExceptfornotpreventingtheNormaninvasionmorethan900yearsago,theEnglish ChannelhaspreventedattacksonGreatBritainforhundredsofyears. (D)IthaspreventedattackingGreatBritainfor900years,excepttheNormans. (E)ForhundredsofyearsithaspreventedattacksonGreatBritain,exceptfortheNorman invasionof1066. 32.Whichisthebestwaytocombinesentences12,13,and14(reproducedbelow)? MuchofEgyptiscoveredbydesert.ThedesertisirrigatedbytheNileRiver.Itislongerthan anyriverintheworld. (A)TheNile,thelongestriverintheworld,irrigatesthedesertthatcoversmuchofEgypt. (B)Egypt,whichiscoveredbydesert,isirrigatedbytheNile,whichislongerthananyriverin theworld. (C)Thedesert,whichcoversmuchofEgyptisirrigatedbytheNile,whichislongerthanany riverintheworld. (D)Thelongestriverintheworld,theNileRiver,irrigatestheEgyptiandesert,whichmeans thattheriverirrigatesmostofthecountry. (E)MuchofthedesertcoveringmuchofEgyptliesalongsidetheNile,thelongestriverinthe world,andmuchofitisirrigatedbyit. 33.Toimprovethecoherenceofparagraph3,whichofthefollowingsentenceswouldbebestto delete? (A)Sentence15 (B)Sentence16 (C)Sentence17 (D)Sentence18 (E)Sentence19 34.Whichofthefollowingsentencesismostinneedoffurthersupportanddevelopment? (A)Sentence1 (B)Sentence2 (C)Sentence5 (D)Sentence11 (E)Sentence14 35.Consideringtheessayasawhole,whichoneofthefollowingleastaccuratelydescribesthe functionofsentence20? (A)Itsummarizestheessay’smainidea. (B)Itservestounifytheessay. (C)Itprovesthevalidityoftheessay’smainidea. (D)Itdefinesthepurposeoftheessay. (E)Itgivestheessayasenseofcompletion. EndofSection2. DonotreturntoSection1.DonotproceedtoSection3untilthe allottedtimeforSection2haspassed. SECTION3 MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS TIME:10MINUTES ImprovingSentences Directions: The underlined sentences and sentence parts below may contain errors in standard English, including awkward or ambiguous expression, poor word choice (diction), incorrect sentence structure, or faulty grammar, usage, and punctuation. Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichofthefivealternativeversionsmosteffectivelyandcorrectlyexpressesthemeaning oftheunderlinedmaterial.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorrespondingspaceontheanswer sheet. Choice A always repeats the original. Choose A if none of the other choices improves the originalsentence. 1.Thepresidentofthecompanygrewupinpoverty,hegraduallyturnedhislifearound. (A)companygrewupinpoverty,hegradually (B)company,havinghisgrowingupinpoverty,gradually (C)companygrewupinpoverty,buthegradually (D)company,havinggrownuppoor,buthegradually (E)company,povertystrickenwhilehegrewup,hegradually 2.Thestrengthandappearanceofdenimfabricaccountforitspopularityamongcampers,hikers, andotheroutdoorenthusiasts. (A)accountforitspopularity (B)accountsforitspopularity (C)accountfortheirpopularity (D)explainswhyitispopular (E)arethereasonsfortheirpopularity 3.Inhisspeech,thecandidatemadeacommentofspendingsleeplessnightsworryingoverthe largenumberofpeoplewithouthealthinsurance. (A)madeacommentofspending (B)commentedonthespendingofhis (C)gaveacommentthathespent (D)commentedonhisspending (E)madeacommentstatingaboutspending 4.Asthesalesofhybridcarscontinuetorise,automakersassertingthatitisworkingonthe improvementofmileagebyspendingprofitsonresearchanddevelopment. (A)assertingthatitisworkingontheimprovementofmileageby (B)assertingthatworkonimprovingmileageby (C)assertthattheywillimprovemileageand (D)assertsthatimprovingmileageby (E)assertthattheywillimprovemileageby 5.DuringAndy’sfreshmanyearincollege,hisacademicadvisorsuggestedthatheconsider majoringinmusic,English,creativewriting,orstudyingmedicine. (A)orstudyingmedicine (B)orworkinginthefieldofmedicine (C)oramedicalfield (D)oraprofessioninmedicine (E)andtothinkaboutattendingmedicalschool 6.Thegamewardenbelievesthatbow-huntingissaferthanarifle. (A)bow-huntingissaferthanarifle (B)huntingwithabowissaferthanhuntingwitharifle (C)bowsismoresafethanriflesinhunting (D)bow-huntingismoresafethanhuntingwitharifle (E)abowinhuntingissaferthanarifleinhunting 7.Convincedthatherall-nightstudysessionsonThursdaysenabledhertopassmathtestson Friday,SusanisshockedtolearnthatlastweekshegotanF. (A)SusanisshockedtolearnthatlastweekshegotanF (B)SusanwasshockedtolearnthatshegotanFlastweek (C)shockiswhatSusanhadwhenlearningthatlastweekshegotanF (D)itisashockforSusantolearnthatlastweekshereceivesanF (E)lastweek’sFshockedSusan 8.Whensomeoneworksasarangerinanationalpark,youwillbeemployedbytheU.S. DepartmentoftheInterior,abranchofthefederalgovernment. (A)youwillbeemployedby (B)itisbeingemployedby (C)youwouldbeanemployeeof (D)heorsheisemployedby (E)theemploymentisbeingby 9.HavingorderedacupofblackcoffeeattheStarbuckscounter,thefumessmelledpleasingto Howard. (A)thefumessmelledpleasingtoHoward (B)thefumes’smellpleasedHoward (C)smellsfromthefumespleasedHoward (D)Howardsmelledthefumespleasingly (E)Howardwaspleasedbythesmellofthefumes 10.WhenCharlottearrivedatschoolonTuesdaymorning,herfriendThaliatoldherthatherfirst periodclasshadbeencancelled. (A)Thaliatoldherthatherfirstperiodclasshadbeencancelled (B)fromThaliashelearnedthatherfirstperiodclasshadbeencancelled (C)CharlottewastoldbyThaliathatherfirstperiodclasshadbeencancelled (D)ThaliasaidthatCharlotte’sfirstperiodclasshadbeencancelled (E)hearingfromThaliaaboutthecancellationofherfirstperiodclass 11.Whenyouplanaplanetrip,youchooseaflight,makeareservation,andthenthatreservation entitlesyoutoaseatontheaircraft. (A)makeareservation,andthenthatreservationentitlesyoutoaseat (B)andmakeareservationthatentitlesyoutoaseat (C)andmakeareservation,thenyouareentitledtoaseat (D)andmakeareservation,thenentitlingyoutoaseat (E)andmakeareservation,youareentitledtoaseatthen 12.Bettermilitaryequipment,suchasstrongerbullet-proofvests,hasbeenvaluablesothatithelps soldiersfeelmoresecurewhentheygointobattle. (A)valuablesothatithelps (B)valuablebecauseithelps (C)valuable,eventhoughitwillhelp (D)valuableinorderthattheyhelp (E)valuableforittohelp 13.Ateacher ’sjobistosetagoodexampleforchildrenaswellasteachingthemthematerialthey needtoknow. (A)aswellasteachingthem (B)aswellastoteachthem (C)andtheyalsoteachthem (D)andaswell,teachthemalso (E)alsoteachingthem 14.Thisbookshowsreadersnotonlywhatmighthappeniftheytrytodealwiththeproblemby themselvesbutit’sallrighttoseekhelp. (A)butit’sallrighttoseekhelp (B)butexplainsthathelpisallrighttoseek (C)explainingthatit’sallrighttoseekhelp (D)andalsoexplainsthatit’sallrighttoseekhelp (E)butalsoexplainsthatit’sallrighttoseekhelp EndofSection3. DonotreturntoSections1or2. ENDOFWRITINGTEST. AnswerKey SECTION1—THEESSAY What follows are ideas for answering the essay question given in this practice test. The essay you wrote may contain some of the same or similar ideas. If not, however, don’t be alarmed. Because every essay is different, your approach to the question may be at least as valid as any of those describedhere: Aconvincingargumentcanbemadethatlifeoutsidetheclassroomshouldbetotallydivorcedfrom academicperformance—inotherwords,thatparticipationinathleticsoranyotherschool-sponsored programshouldnotberelatedtogrades.Afterall,youmayknowpeoplewhoaredisastersinthe classroombutaresuperjocks.Shouldtheybedeprivedofasatisfyinglife-affirmingactivityaswell astheself-respectandstaturethatoftencomewithsuperiorathleticabilitybecausetheystrugglein mathorreading? Takingtheoppositepointofview,youmightarguethatschoolsexisttoeducateyoungpeoplefor thefuture.Consideringhowfewhighschoolathletesturnprofessionallaterinlife,nothingshould keepstudentsfromdevelopingandmasteringessentialsurvivalskills.Minimalscholasticstandards, therefore,oughttoberigidlyenforced. Athirdpositionmightbetotakeamiddleground.Thatis,noruleshouldgoverneverycase.One studentmightworkharderinclassifheknowsthathecan’tparticipateinsportsorotheractivities withoutbettergrades.Anothermightresponddifferentlybybecomingsodiscouragedthathegives upordropsout—anunintendedconsequencebroughtonbyawell-meantregulationthatignoresthe individual. SELF-SCORINGGUIDE Using this guide, rate yourself in each of these six categories. Enter your scores in the spaces provided,andcalculatetheaverageofthesixratingstodetermineyourfinalscore. OntheSATitself,tworeaderswillscoreyouressayonascaleof6(high)to1(low),orzeroifyou failtowriteontheassignedtopic.Thescorewillbereportedtoyouasthesumofthetworatings, from12to0. RememberthatSATessaysarejudgedinrelationtootheressayswrittenonthesametopic. Therefore,thisscoringguidemaynotyieldatotallyaccuratepredictionofthescoreyoucanexpect ontheexam.Becauseitisdifficulttoreadyourownessaywithtotalobjectivity,youmightimprove thevalidityofyourscorebygettingasecondopinionaboutyouressayfromaninformedfriendora teacher. OverallImpression 6Consistentlyoutstandinginclarityandcompetence;veryinsightful;clearlydemonstratesa commandofwritingskills;few,ifany,errors 5Generallyeffectiveandreasonablyconsistentinclarityandcompetence;occasionalerrors orlapsesinquality;containssomeinsight 4Adequatecompetence;somelapsesinquality;fairlyclearandwithevidenceofinsight 3Generallyinadequatebutdemonstratespotentialcompetence;containssomeconfusing aspects 2Seriouslylimited;significantweaknessesinquality;generallyunclearorincoherent 1Demonstratesfundamentalincompetence;containsseriousflaws;significantlyundeveloped orconfusing Score DevelopmentofPointofView 6Fullydevelopedwithclear,convincing,andappropriatesupportingmaterial;demonstrates highlevelofcriticalthinking 5Generallywelldevelopedwithrelevantexamples,reasons,andotherevidencetosupporta mainidea;demonstratescritical-thinkingskills 4Partlydevelopsamainideawithrelativelyappropriateexamplesandreasons;showssome evidenceofcriticalthinking 3Weakdevelopmentofmainideaandlittleevidenceofcriticalthinking;barelyappropriate examplesorothersupportingmaterial 2Lacksafocusonamainidea;weakcriticalthinking;inappropriateorinsufficientevidence 1Failstoarticulateaviablepointofview;providesvirtuallynoevidenceofunderstanding theprompt Score OrganizationofIdeas 6Extremelywellorganizedandfocusedonamainidea;supportingevidencepresentedinan effective,logicalsequence 5Generallywellorganizedandreasonablyfocusedonamainidea;mostlycoherentand logicalpresentationofsupportingmaterial 4Reasonablyorganized;showssomeevidenceofthoughtfulsequenceandprogressionof ideas 3Limitedorganizationandvaguefocusonmainidea;containssomeconfusioninthe sequenceofideas 2Barelyrecognizableorganization;littlecoherence;seriousproblemswithsequenceof ideas 1Nodiscernableorganization;incoherentsequenceofideas Score LanguageandWordChoice 6Highlyeffectiveandskillfuluseoflanguage;varied,appropriate,andaccuratevocabulary 5Demonstratescompetenceinuseoflanguage;appropriateandcorrectvocabulary 4Adequatebutinconsistentuseofeffectivelanguage;conventionalbutmostlycorrectuseof vocabulary 3Someminorerrorsinexpression;generallyweakorlimitedvocabulary;occasionally inappropriatewordchoice 2Frequenterrorsinexpression;verylimitedvocabulary;incorrectwordchoiceinterferes withmeaning 1Seriouslydeficientinuseoflanguage;meaningobscuredbywordchoice Score SentenceStructure 6Variedandengagingsentencestructure 5Reasonablyvariedsentencestructure 4Somesentencevariation 3Littlesentencevariation;minorsentenceerrors 2Frequentsentenceerrors 1Severesentenceerrors;meaningobscured Score Grammar,Usage,andMechanics 6Virtuallyorentirelyerror-free 5Relativelyfreeoftechnicalflaws 4Someminorerrors;oneortwomajorerrors 3Accumulatedminorandmajorerrors 2Containsfrequentmajorerrorsthatinterferewithmeaning 1Containssevereerrorsthatobscuremeaning Score ANSWERSTOMULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS SECTION2 1.A 2.B 13.B 14.C 25.D 26.B 3.A 4.D 5.E 6.C 7.B 8.E 9.B 10.E 11.A 12.C 15.B 16.E 17.B 18.C 19.A 20.D 21.D 22.B 23.B 24.D 27.C 28.C 29.C 30.A 31.E 32.A 33.C 34.D 35.C 6.B 7.B 8.D 9.E 10.D 11.B 12.B 13.B 14.E SECTION3 1.C 2.A 3.D 4.E 5.C PerformanceEvaluationChart ConversionTable Thistablewillgiveyouanapproximationofwhatyourscorewouldbeifthispracticetesthadbeen anactualSATWritingTest.Theessaycountsforroughly30percentofthefinalscore;themultiplechoicequestions,forroughly70percent. Forexample,ifyourMultiple-ChoiceRawScorewas35andyourEssaySubscorewas6,thetable indicatesthatyourfinalscoreonthetestwouldbeapproximatelyhalfwaybetween500and710,or 600. AnswerExplanations Note:Althoughsomechoicescontainmultipleerrors,onlyoneortwomajorerrorsareexplained foreachincorrectchoice. TIP KeytoLevelsofDifficulty Rating EASY MEDIUM HARD Percentageofstudents likelytoanswercorrectly >80% >65% <65% SECTION2—IMPROVINGSENTENCES 1.AB.Pronoun–antecedentagreement.Eachissingular;theirisplural. C.Wordiness.Theconstructioneachofthemhaveuniquedecorationsandthephraseoftheir ownareredundant. D.Pronoun–antecedentagreement.Barnsisplural;itsissingular. E.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. EASY 2.BA.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionconsistsonlyofsubordinateclausesandlacksamain verb. C.Mixedconstruction.Thephraseasaresultisnotgrammaticallyrelatedtotheearlierpart ofthesentenceD.Misplacedmodifier.ThephraseAsastudentatTulaneUniversitymodifies loveinsteadofJulie. E.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. MEDIUM 3.AB.Pronounerror.ThepronouninBetsyandIisanobjectofapreposition,and,therefore, shouldbeme. C.Pronounerror.ThepronouninPeterandmeisinthenominativecaseand,therefore, shouldbeI. D.Pronounerror.Heshouldbehim.SeeB. E.Pronounerror.Inbothinstances,Ishouldbeme.SeeB. EASY 4.DA.Subject–verbagreement.Fundsisplural;isissingular. B.Mixedconstruction.ChoiceBisnotgrammaticallyorlogicallyrelatedtotherestofthe sentence. C.Subject–verbagreement.Earningissingular;areisplural. E.Idiomerror.InstandardEnglish,thephraseisearnedfromtips. EASY 5.EA.Faultyidiom.Inthiscontext,thephraseareassimilarasisnotstandardEnglish. B.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. C.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. D.Subject–verbagreement.Charactersisplural;isissingular. MEDIUM 6.CA.Faultycomparison.Violenceiscomparedtothe1950sand1960s,anillogicalcomparison. B.Faultydiction.Inmakingcomparisons,usethaninsteadofthen. D.Faultyidiom.Inthiscontext,thanaroundisnotstandardEnglish. E.Faultycomparison.Violenceiscomparedtothe1950sand1960s,anillogicalcomparison. MEDIUM 7.BA.Wordiness.TheuseofbothWhileandthatwaswhencreatesaredundancy. C.Mixedconstruction.Theclausethatstartswiththenisgrammaticallyunrelatedtothe previouspartofthesentence. D.Danglingparticiple.TheconstructionWhilewalkingdownMarketStreetmodifiesguitar insteadofClarissa. E.Passiveconstruction.UsingguitarinsteadofClarissaasthegrammaticalsubjectleadstoa passive,awkwardlywordedconstruction. HARD 8.EA.Wordiness.Thetwocoordinateclausesofthiscompoundsentencecontainrelatedideasthat couldbemoreconciselyexpressedbyreplacingandshewouldmeetwithwithbymeeting. B.Awkwardness.Thephrasemeeting…fordiscussingitisawkwardlyexpressed. C.Faultyidiom.Theconstructiontostudytheschool’sscheduleinholdingdiscussionsisnot expressedinstandardEnglish. D.Faultyidiom.ThephrasediscussingaboutitisnotstandardEnglish. MEDIUM 9.BA.Wordiness.Becauseandthereasonwhyareredundant. C.Subject–verbagreement.Dinosaursisplural;isissingular. D.Mixedconstruction.Asaresultofdinosaursfailstorelategrammaticallytotheyare fascinatingtous. E.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparateindependentclauses. MEDIUM 10.EA.Mixedconstruction.Theconstructionthatbeginswithitisgrammaticallyunrelatedtothe previouspartofthesentence. B.Pronounreference.Thepronountheyfailstorefertoaspecificpluralnounorother pronoun. C.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. D.Faultyparallelism.Thecoordinatephrasesintheircomplexityandgrowingmore sophisticatedarenotinparallelform. HARD 11.AB.Faultyidiom.ThephrasemistakenwithisnotstandardEnglish. C.Faultycoordination.Theconjunctionbutfailstocreatealogicalrelationshipbetweenthe twoclausesinthesentence. D.Misplacedmodifier.GrowingupinAsheville…modifiesthecontemporaryTomWolfe insteadoftheearlierwriterThomasWolfe. E.Verbtenseerror.Theuseofwhilegrowingandwasoftenconfusedcreatesalogical impossibilitybecauseThomasWolfegrewuplongbeforeTomWolfemadeanamefor himself. HARD SECTION2—IDENTIFYINGSENTENCEERRORS 12.CTenseshift.Althoughthesentenceiscastinthepresenttense(tells),itrecallspastevents.Use hadtoinsteadofishavingto. EASY 13.BFaultycomparison.Forcomparingtwoobjects,usethecomparativedegreeinsteadofthe superlative.Usebetterinsteadofthebest. MEDIUM 14.CTenseshift.Thesentenceiscastinthepresenttense.Usephoneinsteadofphoned. EASY 15.BPronounchoice.Usewhoinsteadofwhichwhenreferringtopeople. EASY 16.ENoerror. EASY 17.BSubject–verbagreement.Thesubjectworkissingular;theverbrequireisplural.Userequires. MEDIUM 18.CPronoun–antecedentagreement.Theantecedentreductionsisplural;thepronounthisis singular. MEDIUM 19.ATenseshift.Becausethissentencecallsforuseofthepastperfecttense,usehadbeeninstead ofwas. HARD 20.DFaultyparallelism.Verbsinaseriesshouldbeinparallelform.Usemakinginsteadofhe made. MEDIUM 21.DSubject–verbagreement.Thesubjectneitherissingular;theverbwereisplural.Usewas. HARD 22.BIdiomerror.TheconstructionisnotinstandardEnglish.Useregardlessof. HARD 23.BShiftinpronounperson.Theantecedentfreshmanshouldbefollowedbyapersonalpronoun (he/she),notbytheimpersonalpronounone. MEDIUM 24.DNoun–verbagreement.Thenounsdiversityanduniquenessshouldhaveapluralverb.Use characterizeinsteadofcharacterizes. HARD 25.DAmbiguouspronounreference.Pronounsshouldrefertospecificnounsorotherpronouns. Here,thepronountheycouldrefertoteachersortochildren. MEDIUM 26.BDictionerror.Anadjectivemaynotbeusedwhereanadverbisneeded.Usecarefully. HARD 27.CPronouncase.ThephraseparentsandIistheobjectoftheprepositionto.Usetheobjective casepronounme. MEDIUM 28.CIdiomerror.InstandardEnglish,thephraseisdifferentfrominsteadofdifferentthan. HARD 29.CFaultycomparison.Thewordothermustbeincludedinacomparisonofonethingwitha groupofwhichitisamember.Useanyothermusicalfilm. HARD SECTION2—IMPROVINGPARAGRAPHS 30.AOnlyChoiceAisconciselyexpressedinstandardEnglish.Thelanguageoftheotherchoices isawkwardornonstandard. MEDIUM 31.EChoiceAcontainsasentencefragmentafterthesemicolon. ChoiceBdividesthemainclauseawkwardly. ChoiceCiswordyandrepetitious.ItunnecessarilyrepeatstheEnglishChannel,thesubjectof sentence7. ChoiceDisanunclear,awkwardlyconstructedsentence. HARD 32.AChoiceBcontainsafaultycomparison.TheNilecannotbelongerthanitself. ChoiceCissimilartoB. ChoiceDisaccuratebutalsowordyandrepetitious. ChoiceEisawkwardlyexpressed. HARD 33.CAlthoughitisrelatedtothetopicoftheparagraph,sentence17steersthediscussionaway fromtheparagraph’smaintopic,Egypt’sdependenceontheNile.Therefore,choiceCisthe bestanswer. MEDIUM 34.DSentence11statesacomplexideathatneedsfurtherexplanation.Theothersentencesarefacts thatstandontheirown. HARD 35.CChoiceCdoesnotdescribethefunctionofthelastparagraph.Theessay’smainideais validatedbythecontentsoftheessay’sthreemainparagraphs,notbythefinalparagraph. HARD SECTION3—IMPROVINGSENTENCES 1.CA.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. B.Idiomerror.ThephrasehavinghisgrowingupisnotstandardEnglish. D.Subordinationerror.Theclausebeginningwithbutfailstorelatelogicallytotheearlier partofthesentence. E.Mismatchedsentenceparts.Theconstructionbeginningwithheisnotgrammatically relatedtotheearlierpartofthesentence. EASY 2.AB.Subject–verbagreement.Strengthandappearanceisplural;accountsissingular. C.Pronounreference.Thepronountheirshouldrefertofabric,butbecausetheirisplural,it seemstorefertostrengthandappearance. D.Subject–verbagreement.Strengthandappearanceisplural;explainsissingular. E.Pronounreference.Thepronountheirshouldrefertofabric,butbecausetheirisplural,it seemstorefertostrengthandappearance. MEDIUM 3.DA.Idiomerror.TheconstructionmadeacommentofspendingisnotstandardEnglish. B.Clumsyconstruction.Commentingonthespendingofhisisawkwardlyexpressed. C.Diction.IncontexttheverbgaveisnotstandardEnglish. E.Wordiness.Madeacommentandstatingareredundant. EASY 4.EA.Pronoun–antecedentagreement.Theantecedentautomakersisplural;thepronounitis singular. B.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. C.Faultyparallelism.Verbsinaseriesshouldbeinparallelform.Willimproveisnotparallel tospending. D.Subject–verbagreement.Thesubjectautomakersisplural;theverbassertsissingular. MEDIUM 5.CA.Faultyparallelism.Itemsinaseriesshouldbeinparallelform.Studyingmedicineisnot paralleltomusic,English,andcreativewriting. B.Faultyparallelism.Itemsinaseriesshouldbeinparallelform.Workinginthefieldof medicineisnotparalleltomusic,English,andcreativewriting. D.Faultyparallelism.Itemsinaseriesshouldbeinparallelform.Aprofessioninmedicineis notparalleltomusic,English,andcreativewriting. E.Mixedconstruction.Thephrasethatbeginsandtothinkisnotgrammaticallyrelatedtothe earlierportionofthesentence. MEDIUM 6.BA.Faultycomparison.Huntingiscomparedtorifle,anillogicalcomparison. C.Noun–verbagreement.Bowsisplural;isissingular.Useare. D.Comparativedegree.Add–ertoone-syllableadjectivestoindicateahigherdegree.Use safer. E.Clumsyconstruction.Inthiscontext,thephraseinhuntingisawkward. EASY 7.BA.Tenseshift.Thesentence,castinthepasttense,shiftstothepresent. C.Misplacedmodifier.ThephrasethatstartswithConvincedthatmodifiesshockinsteadof Susan. D.Tenseshift.Thesentence,castinthepasttense,shiftstothepresent. E.Misplacedmodifier.ThephrasethatstartswithConvincedthatmodifies lastweek’sFinsteadofSusan. EASY 8.DA.Tenseshift.Thesentence,castinthepresenttense,shiftstothefuturetense. B.Pronounreference.Thepronounitfailstorefertoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. C.Pronounshift.Thesentencebeginswiththeimpersonalpronounsomeone butimproperlyshiftstothesecondpersonpronounyou. E.Idiomerror.TheconstructionisnotinstandardEnglish. EASY 9.EA.Danglingparticiple.TheconstructionthatbeginsHavingordered…shouldmodify Howardinsteadofthefumes. B.Danglingparticiple.TheconstructionthatbeginsHavingordered…shouldmodify Howardinsteadofsmell. C.Danglingparticiple.TheconstructionthatbeginsHavingordered…shouldmodify Howardinsteadofsmells. D.Dictionerror.Inthecontext,pleasinglyfailstoconveytheintendedmeaningbecauseitis notasynonymforwithpleasure. MEDIUM 10.DA.Ambiguouspronounreference.ThesecondhermayrefereithertoCharlotteortoThalia. B.Ambiguouspronounreference.ThesecondhermayrefereithertoCharlotteortoThalia. C.Ambiguouspronounreference.ThepronounhermayrefereithertoCharlotteorto Thalia. E.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. HARD 11.BA.Wordiness.Thesentencecontainsunnecessaryrepetition. C.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. D.Mixedconstruction.Theconstructionthatbeginswiththenentitlingyoufailstorelate grammaticallywiththepreviouspartofthesentence. E.Idiomerror.Thewordthenismisplaced.Putitafterare. MEDIUM 12.BA.Faultyidiom.Theconstructiondoesnotaccuratelyconveytheintendedmeaning.Insteadof expressingtheideathatbetterequipmenthastheeffectofhelpingsoldiers,itsaysthatbetter equipmenthasbeenvaluableinordertohelpsoldiers. C.Faultyidiom.Thephraseeventhoughconveysjusttheoppositeoftheintendedmeaning. D.Pronounreference.Thepronountheyfailstorefertoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. E.Faultyidiom.TheconstructionisnotinstandardEnglishandfailstoconveyalogical meaning. MEDIUM 13.BA.Faultyparallelism.Coordinateelementsinasentencemustbeinparallelform.Toseta goodexampleandaswellasteachingarenotinparallelform. C.Faultypronounreference.Thepronountheyfailstorefertoanyspecificnounorother pronoun. D.Redundancy.Aswellasandalsoareredundant. E.Faultyparallelism.SeeA. HARD 14.EA.Faultyparallelism.Theverbshowslacksagrammaticalparallel,namelyaverbinthesame form. B.Clumsyconstruction.Theconstructionhelpisallrighttoseekisawkward. C.Faultyparallelism.Theverbexplainingisnotparallelinformtoshows. D.Idiomerror.Mostparallelideasintroducedbynotonlymustbecompletedwithbutalso. MEDIUM PracticeTestC SECTION1 ESSAY TIME:25MINUTES Directions: Plan and write an essay in response to the assigned topic. Use the essay as an opportunitytoshowhowclearlyandeffectivelyyoucanexpressanddevelopideas.Presentyour thoughts logically and precisely. Include specific evidence or examples to support your point of view.Aplain,naturalwritingstyleisprobablybest.Thenumberofwordsisuptoyou,butquantity islessimportantthanquality. Limityouressaytotwosidesofthelinedpaperprovided.You’llhaveenoughspaceifyouwrite oneverylineandavoidwidemargins.Writeorprintlegiblybecausehandwritingthat’shardor impossibletoreadwilldecreaseyourscore. BESURETOWRITEONLYONTHEASSIGNEDTOPIC.ANESSAYWRITTENON ANOTHERTOPICWILLBESCORED“ZERO.” Ifyoufinishinlessthantwenty-fiveminutes,checkyourwork.Donotturntoanothersectionof thetest. SeePracticeTestA. Thinkcarefullyaboutthefollowingpassageandtheassignmentbelow. Wethoughtthathewaseverything Tomakeuswishthatwewereinhisplace ThesewordsfromEdwinArlingtonRobinson’sfamouspoem“RichardCory”describewhat peopleoftenfeelwhentheyseeotherswhoapparentlyleadhappier,richer,moresatisfyinglives thantheydo. ThekindofenvytowhichRobinsonrefersmayserveasastrongmotivatingforceforsome peopletoimprovetheirconditionandplaceinlife.Ontheotherhand,envymaybeaselfdefeatingandultimatelyfrustratingemotionbecauseitmayleadpeopletostriveinvainfor unattainablegoals. Assignment:Isenvygenerallyapositiveforceinpeople’slives?Planandwriteanessayinwhichyou developyourpointofviewonthisissue.Supportyourpositionwithreasoningandexamplestaken fromyourreading,studies,observation,orexperience. Section1 Essay Timeallowed:25minutes Limityouressaytotwopages.Donotskiplines.Writeonlyinsidethebox. Endofessay. DonotproceedtoSection2untiltheallottedtime forSection1haspassed. AnswerSheetfor Multiple-ChoiceQuestions SECTION2 MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS TIME:25MINUTES ImprovingSentences Directions: The underlined sentences and sentence parts below may contain errors in standard English, including awkward or ambiguous expression, poor word choice (diction), incorrect sentence structure, or faulty grammar, usage, and punctuation. Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichofthefivealternativeversionsmosteffectivelyandcorrectlyexpressesthemeaning oftheunderlinedmaterial.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorrespondingspaceontheanswer sheet. Choice A always repeats the original. Choose A if none of the other choices improves the originalsentence. EXAMPLE ANSWER MyoldAuntMaudloves tocook,andeatingalso. (A)cook,andeatingalso (B)cookandtoeat (C)cook,andtoeatalso (D)cookandeatbesides (E)cookand,inaddition,eat 1.Thebook’sdescriptionsofthecountryandthetown,inadditiontoitsrecentreleaseasamovie, explainswhysalesofthebookhavesuddenlyboomed. (A)explainswhysalesofthebookhavesuddenlyboomed (B)explainthesuddenboominitssales (C)arethereasonwhythebook’ssaleshavingboomedsuddenly (D)explainwhyithassuddenlyboomedit’ssales (E)istheexplanationforthesuddenboominsales 2.Joggingamileusesthesamenumberofcaloriesasifyouwalktwomiles. (A)asifyouwalk (B)astowalk (C)thantowalk (D)aswalking (E)asitdoeswhenwalking 3.BecauseLisaexpectednottogotocollege,sheistakinglittleinterestinschoolanddoing poorly. (A)sheistakinglittleinterestinschoolanddoingpoorly (B)shetooklittleinterestinschoolanddidpoorly (C)shetakeslittleinterestinschoolanddoespoorly (D)schoolinterestedherlittleanddidpoorly (E)shewouldtakelittleinterestinschoolanddoespoorly 4.Noonewasmorehappierthanmethatyouwonacollegescholarship. (A)morehappierthanme (B)happierbutme (C)morehappylikemyself (D)ashappylikeIam (E)happierthanI 5.After9/11,theAmericanpublicacceptedthegovernment’sauthorityaboutmorethorough screeningofairlinepassengers. (A)aboutmorethoroughscreeningofairlinepassengers (B)toscreenairlinepassengersmorethoroughly (C)toimprovemorethoroughlypassengerscreeningattheairport (D)forthemorethoroughscreeningofairlinepassengersboardingairplanesattheairport (E)whethertoscreenmorethoroughallairlinepassengers 6.Thepollutionofthemunicipalwellwasdiscovered,thetownpostednoticesurgingpeopleto boiltheirwater. (A)Thepollutionofthemunicipalwellwasdiscovered, (B)Themunicipalwell’spollutionbeingdiscovered, (C)Whenhavingmadethediscoveryofthepollutionofthewaterinthemunicipalwell; (D)Afterdiscoveringpollutioninthemunicipalwell, (E)Pollutionwasdiscoveredinthemunicipalwell, 7.WhetherTroyinfactcommunicatedordidnotwithGabriellaisunclear,butaletterorphone callwoulddefinitelyhavegivenhermoraleaboost. (A)WhetherTroyinfactcommunicatedordidnot (B)WhetherinrealityTroycommunicatedordidnot (C)TheactualityofcommunicatingbyTroy (D)ThatTroyinfactcommunicated (E)Troy,whetherornothecommunicated 8.Lastyear,FairfieldHighSchooldefeatedeveryoneofitsrivalsingirls’fieldhockey, nevertheless,theydidnotwinthestatechampionship. (A)hockey,nevertheless,they (B)hockey,theynevertheless (C)hockey,they (D)hockey;consequently,it (E)hockey,butit 9.Becauseitisblessedwithamildandpleasantclimate,southernCaliforniahasbecomemore popularthanFloridaasaplacetoretire. (A)Californiahasbecomemorepopularthan (B)Californiahadbeenaspopularas (C)Californiahavingbecomemorepopularthan (D)California’spopularityismorethan (E)Californiahasgreaterpopularityas 10.Wanderingthroughthetownthathehadoncecalledhome,everythinghadchanged:the barbershopwasgone,thedeliwasnowalaundromat,andhisoldhousehadbeenturnedintoa condo. (A)Wanderingthroughthetownthathehadoncecalledhome,everything (B)Hewanderedthroughthetownthathadoncebeencalledhome,everything (C)Ashe,wanderingthoughthetownthathadoncecalledhome,sawthateverything (D)Whilewanderingthroughhisex-hometowneverything (E)Wanderingthoughthetownthathadoncebeenhome,hesawthateverything 11.AneventinRichard’slifestorythatmovedmegreatlywaswhenhewasseparatedfromthe family. (A)whenhewasseparatedfromthefamily (B)whenheandthefamilywereseparated (C)hisseparationfromthefamily (D)theseparatingfromthefamily (E)theseparationbetweenheandthefamily IdentifyingSentenceErrors Directions: The underlined and lettered parts of each sentence below may contain an error in grammar, usage, word choice (diction), or expression (idiom). Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichitem,ifany,containsanerror.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorresponding spaceontheanswersheet.Nosentencecontainsmorethanoneerror.Somesentencesmaycontain noerror.Inthatcase,thecorrectchoicewillalwaysbeE(Noerror). EXAMPLE Jillwent tothe ofthehillina fastertime herfriend,Jack. . ANSWER 12.Thestartoffreshmanyearincollege thesameanxieties experiencedbyninthgradersenteringhighschool. 13.EdithWharton’snovelEthanFrome intoamovie failed themoodand meaningofthe 14.The seniorclasshasa 15. ofscholarshipwinnersthanthanlast will fromthedeanofdisciplineand afterbeingtoldthatthey . ofprivileges atrustthattheyhadbeengiven. 16.Myparentsinstilledtheirmoralvalues mysisterand us,bythetimewereached teenyears,toknowrightfromwrong. 17.Theearliestpirates, onCaribbeanislands,rustledcattle,smokedthemeatandsold topassingships,attackedandburnedcolonialsettlements,and goldandjewels Spanishgalleons. 18.Iagreewith andMs.Harrisonthatwithout unable everychildtoreadatgradelevel. 19. theschools Katieopenedtherefrigerator,sheinstantlynoticedthatahugechunkofchocolateicinghad been thebirthdaycakeandimmediatelysuspectedthatMark 20.GilbertW.Davisisafirst-ratetriallawyerwho, ofcapitalizing 21.If andweaknessesof beenwillingtotakehim I’msureyou responsible. apredatorontheprowl, opponentsinthecourtroom. facevalue triedtosearchforhiddenmotives, acooperativeandhardworkingemployee. 22.GretaGarbo,thesensationalandtalentedHollywoodstarofthe mostofheradultlifeand isolatedbut 23.Anincidentthatembitteredthecolonistsoccurred agroupofprotesters, 24. theart becameareclusefor untilthedayshedied. aBostonstreet Britishtroops woundingsixofthem. herpresidency,anattitudeofcockinessandcarelessness common,andsafetyrules were seriously. 25.Theexperienceoftakingacarontheroadwithadrivingteacher usefulthan 26. results students traditionalfamilyvalues parentsand adulllecture. becomeoneofthedistinctdifferences without allthewaytoNorthCarolina tokeephimcompany. 28.Helenehopes Chuckiethatsheneitherisinterestedingoingoutwith thatsheeverloved issues my 27.Mr.Donahuemade perfectlyclearthathedidnotintend 29.Foremost learningfarmore boys inaromanticway. thevoters’concerns theproblemofwhattodo wastedisposalandthe theconstructionoflow-incomehousing. ImprovingParagraphs Directions: The passage below is the draft of a student’s essay. Some parts of the passage need improvement. Read the passage and answer the questions that follow. The questions are about revisions that might improve all or part of the passage’s organization, development, sentence structure, or choice of words. Choose the answer that best follows the requirements of standard writtenEnglish. Questions30–35refertothefollowingpassage. [1]Backin1900,whocouldhavepredictedtheamazingtechnologicalachievementsthatwouldbe madeduringthenexthundredyears?[2]Bytheyear2000,advancesincommunications,nuclear energy,andmedicinetransformedpeople’slivesinmanyunexpectedways. [3]Oneofthemostimportantdevelopmentswastheinventionofcommunicationsatellitesthat allowimagesandmessagestobesentwirelesslyaroundtheworld.[4]Oneadvantageofthis technologyisthatcurrenteventscanbesentworldwideinstantly.[5]Newsusedtotraveloverseasby boatandwouldtakeweeksormonthstospread.[6]WhendisasterstrucktheWorldTradeCenterin 2001,mostoftheworldsawitimmediately.[7]Toachievethistechnologicalmarvel,manysatellites havebeenverycostly,however.[8]Asaresult,manypoorcountrieshavebeenleftbehindandcan barelyparticipateinso-called“globalization.” [9]Theinventionanduseofnuclearenergyisanotherimportanttechnologicaldevelopment.[10] Onepositivefeatureofnuclearenergyisthatenergyischeaperandcanbemadeeasy.[11]France,for one,dependsalmostentirelyonelectricitygeneratedbynuclearpower.[12]Butthedangersof nuclearenergydampentheworld’senthusiasm.[13]Watchoutforhumanerrorandcareless workmanship.[14]TheycancausehugedisasterssuchastheoneinChernobylin1986,whichkilled countlesspeopleandradiatedhalftheEarth. [15]Therehavealsobeenmanysignificanttechnologicaladvancesinmedicine.[16]Onesuch developmentwastheMRI.[17]AnMRIpermitsdoctorstomakeanimageofyourbraintoseeifthere isagrowthonit.[18]OnepositiveeffectofMRIsisthatdoctorscandiagnosebraintumorsandbrain canceratanearlystage.[19]Manyliveshavebeensaved.[20]ButMRIsareexpensive,somany uninsuredAmericansandthepoorofallcountrieshavebeendeprivedofthismodernmedicalmarvel. 30.Consideringthemainideaoftheessay,whichofthefollowingisthebestrevisionofsentence1 (reproducedbelow)? Backin1900,whocouldhavepredictedtheamazingtechnologicalachievementsthatwouldbe madeduringthenexthundredyears? (A)Backin1900whowouldanticipatethetechnologicaldevelopmentsinthetwentieth century? (B)Recenttechnologicalachievementswouldblowthemindofpeoplein1900. (C)Thetwentiethcenturysawremarkabletechnologicalachievements,buthasitimprovedthe livesofallpeople? (D)Nobodyhasknownwhetherthetwenty-firstcenturywillproduceasmuchtechnological progressasthetwentiethcentury. (E)Technologicalprogressincommunications,nuclearenergy,andmedicineiswonderful, butintheprocesswearedestroyingourselvesandourenvironment. 31.Whichisthebestrevisionoftheunderlinedsegmentofsentence10(reproducedbelow)? Onepositivefeatureofnuclearenergyisthatenergyischeaperandcanbemadeeasy. (A)energyischeaperandcanbemadeeasily (B)energyismadecheaperandmoreeasilymade (C)itischeapandeasytomake (D)itisbothcheapaswellasmadeeasily (E)it’smorecheaperandeasiertomake 32.Toimprovethecoherenceofparagraph2,whichofthefollowingisthebestsentencetodelete? (A)Sentence4 (B)Sentence5 (C)Sentence6 (D)Sentence7 (E)Sentence8 33.Inthecontextofthesentencesthatprecedeandfollowsentence13,whichisthebestrevisionof sentence13(reproducedbelow)? Watchoutforhumanerrorandcarelessworkmanship. (A)Humanerrorandcarelessworkmanshiparealmostunavoidable. (B)Especiallyhumanerrorandcarelessworkmanship. (C)There’shardlynofoolproofwaytopreventhumanerrorandcarelessworkmanship. (D)Youmustneverputdownyourguardagainsthumanerrorandcarelessworkmanship. (E)Accidentscanhappenaccidentallybyhumanerrorandcarelessworkmanship. 34.Withregardtotheentireessay,whichofthefollowingbestexplainsthewriter ’sintentionin paragraphs2,3,and4? (A)Tocompareandcontrastthreetechnologicalachievements (B)Toprovideexamplesoftheprosandconsoftechnologicalprogress (C)Toanalyzethestepsneededforachievementinthreeareas (D)Toconvincereaderstobeopentotechnologicalchange (E)Toadvocatemorefundsfortechnologicalresearchanddevelopment 35.Assumethatsentences15and16werecombinedasfollows:Asignificantadvanceinmedicine hasbeentheinventionoftheMRI.Whichofthefollowingisthebestwaytocontinuethe paragraph? (A)AnMRIallowsyourdoctorstomakepicturesofabraintoseeifithasagrowthonit,a cancerisgrowing,ortumorsatanearlystage. (B)TheMRIpermitsyourdoctorstomakeapictureandseeifyourbrainhasagrowthonit, orwhetherornotyouhavebraintumorsorbraincanceratanearlystage. (C)MakingimageswithanMRI,yourbrainisstudiedbydoctorsforgrowths,braintumors, andcanceratanearlystage. (D)Doctorsmaymakepicturesofyourbraintoseeifthereisagrowth,atumor,orcancerat anearlystageofit. (E)Withthisdeviceadoctormaylookintoapatient’sbraintocheckforgrowthsandtodetect canceroustumorsatanearlystage. EndofSection2. DonotreturntoSection1.DonotproceedtoSection3untiltheallottedtimeforSection2has passed. SECTION3 MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS TIME:10MINUTES ImprovingSentences Directions: The underlined sentences and sentence parts below may contain errors in standard English, including awkward or ambiguous expression, poor word choice (diction), incorrect sentence structure, or faulty grammar, usage, and punctuation. Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichofthefivealternativeversionsmosteffectivelyandcorrectlyexpressesthemeaning oftheunderlinedmaterial.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorrespondingspaceontheanswer sheet. Choice A always repeats the original. Choose A if none of the other choices improves the originalsentence. 1.Duringthisdecade,payingforacollegeeducationismoredifficultfortheaveragefamilythan itwasinthepast. (A)thanitwasinthepast (B)thanforpastfamilies (C)thanthepast (D)thanfamiliesinthepast (E)thanitusedtobeinthepast 2.GwenHarper,oneofthemostpopularstudentsintheschool,winningtheelectionforclass presidentthreeyearsinarow. (A)school,winningtheelectionforclasspresidentthreeyearsinarow (B)school,winningtheelectionforclasspresident,whichshewonthreeyearsinarow (C)school,andshewontheelectionforclasspresidentthreeyearsinarow (D)school,wontheelectionforclasspresidentthreeyearsinarow (E)school,threeyearsinarowshewontheelectionforclasspresident. 3.ThenovelasweknowittodaycameintobeingearlyintheseventeenthcenturywithDon QuixotebyMiguelCervantes,andCervanteswasclearlyaheadofhistime. (A)Cervantes,andCervanteswasclearlyaheadofhistime (B)Cervantes,whowasclearlyaheadofhistime (C)Cervantes,beingclearlyaheadofhistime (D)Cervantes,whichnovelwasclearlyaheadofitstime (E)Cervantes,Cervanteswasclearlyaheadofhistime 4.Notallathleteswhohavehighmotivationoraresignificantlytalentedinasportcanbeassured ofaplaceonanOlympicteam. (A)havehighmotivationoraresignificantlytalented (B)haveeitherhighmotivationorelsetalentinsignificantamounts (C)arehighlymotivatedorwhohavesignificanttalentinstead (D)arehighlymotivatedorsignificantlytalented (E)havehighmotivationorelsesignificantamountsoftalent 5.AlthoughshedislikescitylivingandhasneverbeeneastoftheMississippi,Sarahintendsto movetoNewYorkorBostonaftershegraduatesfromcollege. (A)shedislikescitylivingandhasneverbeeneastoftheMississippi (B)sheiswithoutlikingforcitylivingnorhavingbeeneastoftheMississippi (C)shedislikescitylivingnorhasshevisitedthere (D)shedoesnotlikecitylivingandhasneverbeenavisitor (E)itiswithoutalikingforcitylivingnorhavingvisitedthere 6.Whenyouvisitaforeigncountry,wecanalmostalwaysfindsomeonewhospeaksEnglish. (A)Whenyouvisitaforeigncountry,wecan (B)Whenvisitingaforeigncountry,onecan (C)Whenwevisitaforeigncountry,onecan (D)Whileyouareonavisittoaforeigncountry,onecan (E)Duringourvisitingofaforeigncountry,we 7.HavingKellyCollinsasourtalentedcoordinatorandtheenthusiasticsupportofthecommunity andtheChamberofCommercehelpedtomakethetown’sOctoberfestarousingsuccess. (A)HavingKellyCollinsasourtalentedcoordinator (B)ThehavingofthecoordinatingtalentofKellyCollins (C)KellyCollinsasourtalentedcoordinator (D)TobecoordinatedbytalentedKellyCollins (E)ThecoordinationtalentsofKellyCollins 8.WhenBeethoven’smusicwasintroducedtothepublicforthefirsttime,theyfounditdifficultto understandandunpleasanttolistento. (A)WhenBeethoven’smusicwasintroducedtothepublicforthefirsttime,theyfoundit (B)Whenitwasintroducedtothepublicforthefirsttime,theyfoundBeethoven’smusic (C)WhenthemusicofBeethovenwasintroduced,thepublicfoundit (D)WhentheywereintroducedtoBeethoven’smusic,thepublichadfoundit (E)IntroducingBeethoven’smusicforthefirsttime,thepublicfoundit 9.TwoCoastGuardcrewsweredispatchedtocheckananonymousinformant’swarning,andhe hadobservedaboatloadofundocumentedimmigrantsapproachingFlorida’swestcoast. (A)ananonymousinformant’swarning,andhe (B)thewarningofananonymousinformantthathe (C)thatananonymouswarningofaninformanthe (D)theanonymousinformant’swarningsayinghe (E)informationanonymouslywarningthathe 10.Therefore,Iadmireorganizationsthatspeakupforfairnessanddemocraticprinciples,evenif itismotivatedbyselfishness. (A)evenifitismotivatedbyselfishness (B)evenwhentheirmotivesareselfish (C)evenwhenthemotiveistobeforitsownselfishaims (D)whetherornotit’sfortheirownselfishaims (E)whethertheirmotiveisforselfishaimsornotforselfishaims 11.Ifyouwishtostudytranscendentalmeditation,whichiswhenapersoncompletelyrelaxestheir mindandbody,youwillfindseveralrelevantbooksontheshelf. (A)whichiswhenapersoncompletelyrelaxestheirmindandbody (B)whichiswhenapersoncompletelyrelaxeshismindandbody (C)whichiswhensomeonecompletelyrelaxtheirmindandbody (D)thecompleterelaxationofthemindandbody (E)whichcompletelyrelaxestheirmindandbody 12.Womeninahunter-gatherersocietyleddemandinglives,thereasonwasthattheycollected plantfoodforthefamilywhileprotectingherselfandherchildrenfromwildbeasts. (A)lives,thereasonwasthattheycollectedplantfoodforthefamilywhileprotectingherself andherchildren (B)lives,itwasthatshehadtocollectplantfoodforthefamilywhilealsoprotectingherself andherchildren (C)lives;collectingplantfoodforthefamilywhileprotectingherselfandherchildren (D)livesbecauseitsresponsibilitiesincludedcollectingplantfoodforthefamilywhile protectingthemselvesandtheirchildren (E)livesbecausetheynotonlycollectedplantfoodforthefamilybutalsoprotectedthemselves andtheirchildren 13.Nursinghomesthatviolateregulationshavebecomeanimportantstatewideproblem,andithas becomeahotpoliticalissue. (A)animportantstatewideproblem,andithasbecome (B)aproblemofstatewideimportance,thatis (C)aproblemofstatewideimportance;itwas,therefore (D)animportantstatewideproblemthatis (E)animportantstatewideproblem,whichtheyhavebecome 14.OfalltheroadsmakingupAmerica’sInterstateHighwaySystem,morepeopledriveonI-95 thananyhighway. (A)morepeopledriveonI-95thananyhighway (B)travelersaredrivingonI-95inthelargestnumbers (C)thelargestamountofdriversareonI-95 (D)I-95isthemoreheavilytraveled (E)I-95isthemostheavilytraveled EndofSection3. DonotreturntoSections1or2. ENDOFWRITINGTEST. AnswerKey SECTION1—THEESSAY What follows are ideas for answering the essay question given in this practice test. The essay you wrote may contain some of the same or similar ideas. Don’t be alarmed if your essay is much different,however.Yourapproachtothequestionmaybeatleastasvalidasanyofthosedescribed here: Toarguethatenvycanoccasionallybebeneficial,findexamplesthatshowitspotentialtodogood. Maybeyouknowofpoorpeoplewhoseenvyofwealthoraparticularlifestyleinspiredthemtolift theirsightsandachievegreatthings.Envyofothers’intellect,physicalprowess,talents,andsocial graces—alltheseandmorecanleadambitiousindividualstoemulate,evensurpassthe accomplishmentsofthosetheyenvy.(Onewordofcaution,though:inyouressay,don’tmistake admirationforenvy.) Foreveryinstanceofenvyasaforceforgood,however,therearenumeroussituationsthat illustratetheharmthatenvycanbringabout.Envyhasawayofbreedingunhappiness.Itoften indicatesdissatisfactionwithone’sownlifeandcircumstances.Iterodesself-confidenceandcan inciteresentment,hatred,anddespair.InShakespeare’splayOthello,thetitlecharacter,abraveand respectedwarrior,istragicallydestroyedbyenvy,ormoreaccurately,byjealousy,acommonvariety ofenvy.Orconsiderayoungman—callhimJames—whoseenvyofhisfriendScott’ssuccessin schoolandinlifedriveshimtodistraction.Jamesknowshecan’tmatchScott’sgoodfortune.Instead ofrejoicinginScott’ssuccess,hespreadsnastyrumorsaboutScottandhisfamily,therebywrecking whatcouldhavebeenavaluableandrewardingfriendship. Envycancausetroubleamongworkersinafactory,office,orschool.Asalespersonmightenvy theperformanceofhisfellowworkersandlodgecomplaintsagainstthem.Envycanpoisonthe atmosphereinaworkplaceandlowerproductivity.Onecompany,envyinganother ’sreputationor abilitytocontrolacertainmarket,cantrytoundermineorevensabotageitscompetitor.Inaddition, historyisfilledwithinstancesofnationscravingtheland,resources,seaports,ortherichesofother countriesandsendingarmiestoseizethem.Germany’sactionsinthe1930sprovokedtheworldinto warforthatveryreason. SELF-SCORINGGUIDE Using this guide, rate yourself in each of these six categories. Enter your scores in the spaces provided,andcalculatetheaverageofthesixratingstodetermineyourfinalscore. OntheSATitself,tworeaderswillscoreyouressayonascaleof6(high)to1(low),orzeroifyou failtowriteontheassignedtopic.Thescorewillbereportedtoyouasthesumofthetworatings, from12to0. RememberthatSATessaysarejudgedinrelationtootheressayswrittenonthesametopic. Therefore,thisscoringguidemaynotyieldatotallyaccuratepredictionofthescoreyoucanexpect ontheexam.Becauseitisdifficulttoreadyourownessaywithtotalobjectivity,youmightimprove thevalidityofyourscorebygettingasecondopinionaboutyouressayfromaninformedfriendora teacher. OverallImpression 6 5 4 3 2 1 Consistentlyoutstandinginclarityandcompetence;veryinsightful;clearlydemonstratesacommandof writingskills;few,ifany,errors Generallyeffectiveandreasonablyconsistentinclarityandcompetence;occasionalerrorsorlapsesin quality;containssomeinsight Adequatecompetence;somelapsesinquality;fairlyclearandwithevidenceofinsight Generallyinadequatebutdemonstratespotentialcompetence;containssomeconfusingaspects Seriouslylimited;significantweaknessesinquality;generallyunclearorincoherent Demonstratesfundamentalincompetence;containsseriousflaws;significantlyundevelopedorconfusing Score DevelopmentofPointofView 6 5 4 3 2 1 Fullydevelopedwithclear,convincing,andappropriatesupportingmaterial;demonstrateshighlevelof criticalthinking Generallywelldevelopedwithrelevantexamples,reasons,andotherevidencetosupportamainidea; demonstratescritical-thinkingskills Partlydevelopsamainideawithrelativelyappropriateexamplesandreasons;showssomeevidenceof criticalthinking Weakdevelopmentofmainideaandlittleevidenceofcriticalthinking;barelyappropriateexamplesor othersupportingmaterial Lacksafocusonamainidea;weakcriticalthinking;inappropriateorinsufficientevidence Failstoarticulateaviablepointofview;providesvirtuallynoevidenceofunderstandingtheprompt Score OrganizationofIdeas 6 5 4 3 2 1 Extremelywellorganizedandfocusedonamainidea;supportingevidencepresentedinaneffective, logicalsequence Generallywellorganizedandreasonablyfocusedonamainidea;mostlycoherentandlogicalpresentation ofsupportingmaterial Reasonablyorganized;showssomeevidenceofthoughtfulsequenceandprogressionofideas Limitedorganizationandvaguefocusonmainidea;containssomeconfusioninthesequenceofideas Barelyrecognizableorganization;littlecoherence;seriousproblemswithsequenceofideas Nodiscernableorganization;incoherentsequenceofideas Score LanguageandWordChoice 6 5 4 3 2 Highlyeffectiveandskillfuluseoflanguage;varied,appropriate,andaccuratevocabulary Demonstratescompetenceinuseoflanguage;appropriateandcorrectvocabulary Adequatebutinconsistentuseofeffectivelanguage;conventionalbutmostlycorrectuseofvocabulary Someminorerrorsinexpression;generallyweakorlimitedvocabulary;occasionallyinappropriateword choice Frequenterrorsinexpression;verylimitedvocabulary;incorrectwordchoiceinterfereswithmeaning 1 Seriouslydeficientinuseoflanguage;meaningobscuredbywordchoice Score SentenceStructure 6 5 4 3 2 1 Variedandengagingsentencestructure Reasonablyvariedsentencestructure Somesentencevariation Littlesentencevariation;minorsentenceerrors Frequentsentenceerrors Severesentenceerrors;meaningobscured Score Grammar,Usage,andMechanics 6 5 4 3 2 1 Virtuallyorentirelyerror-free Relativelyfreeoftechnicalflaws Someminorerrors;oneortwomajorerrors Accumulatedminorandmajorerrors Containsfrequentmajorerrorsthatinterferewithmeaning Containssevereerrorsthatobscuremeaning Score ANSWERSTOMULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS SECTION2 1.B 2.D 3.B 4.E 5.B 6.D 7.D 8.E 9.A 10.E 11.C 12.C 13.E 14.D 15.A 16.A 17.C 18.E 19.B 20.D 21.B 22.D 23.E 24.B 25.C 26.B 27.D 28.C 29.B 30.C 31.C 32.B 33.A 34.B 35.E SECTION3 1.A 2.D 3.B 4.D 5.A 6.B 7.E 8.C 9.B 10.B 11.D 12.E 13.D 14.E PerformanceEvaluationChart ConversionTable Thistablewillgiveyouanapproximationofwhatyourscorewouldbeifthispracticetesthadbeen anactualSATWritingTest.Theessaycountsforroughly30percentofthefinalscore;themultiplechoicequestions,forroughly70percent. Forexample,ifyourMultiple-ChoiceRawScorewas35andyourEssaySubscorewas6,thetable indicatesthatyourfinalscoreonthetestwouldbeapproximatelyhalfwaybetween500and710,or 600. AnswerExplanations SECTION2—IMPROVINGSENTENCES Note:Althoughsomechoicescontainmultipleerrors,onlyoneortwomajorerrorsareexplained foreachincorrectchoice. TIP KeytoLevelsofDifficulty Rating EASY MEDIUM HARD Percentageofstudents likelytoanswercorrectly >80% >65% <65% 1.BA.Subject–verbagreement.Thesingularverbexplainsfailstoagreewiththepluralsubject descriptions. C.Verbtense.Theparticiplehavingboomedisusedinsteadofthepresentperfecthave boomed. D.Wordchoice.Thecontractionit’sisusedinsteadofthepossessiveits. E.Subject–verbagreement.Thesingularverbisfailstoagreewiththepluralsubject descriptions. MEDIUM 2.DA.Faultyparallelism.Elementsbeingcomparedinasentencemustbeinthesame grammaticalform.Joggingdiffersinformfromasifyouwalk. B.Faultyparallelism.SeeA. C.Faultycomparison.Jogging,agerund,maynotbecomparedtoaphrase,thantowalk. E.Faultypronounreference.Thepronounitfailstorefertoaspecificnounorother pronoun. MEDIUM 3.BA.Tenseshift.Theverbtenseimproperlyshiftsfromthepasttothepresentprogressiveinthe secondclause. C.Tenseshift.Theverbtenseimproperlyshiftsfromthepasttothepresentinthesecond clause. D.Incompleteconstruction.Theabsenceofthepronounshecausesmeaningtobedistorted. E.Tenseshift.Theverbtenseimproperlyshiftsfromthepasttoothertensesinthesecond clause. EASY 4.EA.Faultycomparison.Thephrasemorehappierisredundant.Usehappierormorehappy. B.Idiomerror.IncontexttheconstructionhappierbutmeisnotstandardEnglish. C.Idiomerror.IncontexttheconstructionmorehappylikemyselfisnotstandardEnglish. D.Tenseshift.Theverbtenseimproperlyshiftsfromthepasttothepresent. EASY 5.BA.Idiomerror.ThephraseauthorityaboutisnotstandardEnglish. C.Clumsyconstruction.Thephraseimprovemorethoroughlyisawkward. D.Wordyandrepetitious.Theuseofairline,airplanes,andairportleadstoanexcessively wordysentence. E.Wordchoice.Incontexttheadjectivethoroughisincorrect.Thewordshouldbethoroughly, anadverb. HARD 6.DA.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. B.Mixedconstruction.Thefirstandsecondclausesaregrammaticallyunrelated. C.Wordy.Theentireclause,containingastringofthreeprepositionalphrases,isexcessively wordy. E.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. MEDIUM 7.DA.Incompleteconstruction.Thephraseordidnotisbothmisplacedandincomplete.Insertthe wordsdidordidnotcommunicateafterinfact. B.Incompleteconstruction.Thephraseordidnotisbothmisplacedandincomplete.Insertthe wordsdidordidnotcommunicateafterTroy. C.Clumsyconstruction.ThephrasecommunicatingbyTroywithGabriellaisawkwardly worded. E.Clumsyconstruction.ByusingTroyasthegrammaticalsubject,thesentencemakesno sense. MEDIUM 8.EA.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. B.Pronoun–antecedentagreement.FairfieldHighSchoolissingular;theyisplural.Useit. C.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. D.Wordchoice.Incontexttheuseofconsequentlymakesnosense. MEDIUM 9.AB.Tenseshift.Thesentence,castinthepresenttense,shiftstothepast. C.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. D.Faultycomparison.PopularityiscomparedtoFlorida,anillogicalcomparison. E.Idiomerror.ThephrasehasgreaterpopularityasisnonstandardEnglish. MEDIUM 10.EA.Danglingparticiple.ThephrasethatbeginsWanderingthroughshouldmodifyheinsteadof everything. B.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparateindependentclauses. C.Awkwardness.Theconstructionawkwardlyseparatesthesubjectandtheverb. D.Danglingparticiple.ThephrasethatbeginsWhilewanderingthroughshouldmodifyhe insteadofeverything. HARD 11.CA.Idiomerror.Eventisanounthatmustbedefinedbyanothernoun,notbyasubordinate clause. B.Idiomerror.SeeA. D.Clumsyconstruction.Thewordingoftheseparatingisawkward. E.Pronounchoice.Pronounsinprepositionalphrasesshouldbeintheobjectivecase.Use him. HARD SECTION2—IDENTIFYINGSENTENCEERRORS 12.CDictionerror.Useasinsteadofthanwhenpointingoutlikenesses. EASY 13.ENoerror. EASY 14.DFaultycomparison.Winnersisbeingcomparedtolastyear,anillogicalcomparison.Uselast year’s(seniorclass). MEDIUM 15.APronoun–antecedentagreement.TheantecedentAdisruptivestudentissingular.Thepronoun theyisplural.UseDisruptivestudents. EASY 16.AIdiomerror.Useininsteadoffor. EASY 17.CFaultyparallelism.Itemsinaseriesshouldbeingrammaticallyparallelform.Usestole insteadofwerestealing. EASY 18.ENoerror. MEDIUM 19.BVerbform.Thepastperfectformoftobiteisbitten.Usehadbeenbitten. EASY 20.DPronoun–antecedentagreement.TheantecedentGilbertW.Davisissingular;thepronoun theirisplural.Usehis. EASY 21.BIdiomerror.Useatinsteadoffor. EASY 22.DDictionerror.Adjectivesareusedwithlinkingverbstomodifyverbs.Usebeautiful. EASY 23.ENoerror. MEDIUM 24.BSubject–verbagreement.Attitudeissingular;wereisplural.Usewas. MEDIUM 25.CDictionerror.Usewhenorwhileinsteadofas. HARD 26.BSubject–verbagreement.Thesubjectfollowingissingular;theverbhaveisplural.Usehas. HARD 27.DPronouncase.Apronounthatservesastheobjectofapreposition(without)mustbeinthe objectivecase.Useme. HARD 28.CIdiomerror.InstandardEnglishneitherispairedwithnor,notwithor. HARD 29.BSubject–verbagreement.Thecompoundsubjectproblemandissuesisplural;theverbisis singular.Useare. HARD SECTION2—IMPROVINGPARAGRAPHS 30.CChoiceAimpliesthattheessay’spurposeistopointouttechnologicalmarvelsofthe twentiethcentury.Butthepurposeisdeeper—toshowthattechnologicalprogressinthe twentiethcenturyfailedtobenefitallpeople. ChoiceBissimilartochoiceAandalsocontainsaninappropriatecolloquialism. ChoiceDincorrectlysuggeststhattheessayismeanttodiscusstheprospectsforcontinued technologicalprogress. ChoiceEsummarizesthethreeareasdiscussedintheessaybutindicatesthatwewouldbe betteroffwithouttechnologicalprogress,anideaneitherstatednorimpliedbytheessay. HARD 31.CChoiceArepeatsenergyunnecessarilyandcontainsanincompletecomparison.Cheaperthan what? ChoiceBcontainsanincompletecomparison.Energyischeaperthanwhat?Italsocontains anerrorinparallelconstruction. ChoiceDiswordy.Thewordbothandthephraseaswellasareredundant. ChoiceEcontainsmorecheaper,anonstandardconstruction.Usecheaper. MEDIUM 32.BAlthoughrelatedtocommunications,theinformationcontainedinsentence5isnotrelevant tothediscussionofmoderncommunicationssatellites. HARD 33.AChoiceBisasentencefragment. ChoiceCcontainsthedoublenegativehardlyno. ChoiceDimproperlyshiftstothesecondperson. ChoiceEisneedlesslyrepetitious. HARD 34.BChoicesA,C,andDaccuratelydescribeneithertheparagraphstructurenorthepointofthe essay. ChoiceEisaremotepossibilitybutisnotjustifiedbyevidenceintheessay. MEDIUM 35.EChoiceAunnecessarilyrepeatsMRIandcontainsfaultyparallelism. ChoiceBiswordy,anditunnecessarilyrepeatsMRI. ChoiceCcontainsadanglingparticiple.ThephrasethatbeginsTakingpicturesshould modifydoctors,notbrains. ChoiceDhasnodiscernibleconnectionwiththeprevioussentence. HARD SECTION3—IMPROVINGSENTENCES 1.AB.Faultycomparison.Payingiscomparedtofamilies,anillogicalcomparison. C.Faultycomparison.Payingiscomparedtopast,anillogicalcomparison. D.Faultycomparison.Payingiscomparedtofamilies,anillogicalcomparison. E.Redundancy.Thephrasesusedtobeandinthepastareredundant. EASY 2.DA.Sentencefragment.GwenHarper,thegrammaticalsubjectofthesentence,lacksaverb. B.Sentencefragment.GwenHarper,thegrammaticalsubjectofthesentence,lacksaverb. C.Faultycoordination.Theconjunctionandfailstocreateagrammaticalrelationbetweenthe independentclauseandthephrasewithwhichthesentencebegins. E.Theclausethatbeginsthreeyearsinarowlacksagrammaticalrelationshipwiththerestof thesentence. EASY 3.BA.Faultycoordination.Thetwocoordinateclausesarenotofequalimportance.Thesecond clauseshouldbeasubordinateclause. C.Mismatchedsentenceparts.Thewordbeinghasnogrammaticalrelationshipwiththerest ofthesentence. D.Wordchoice.Whichhasnologicalmeaning.Inthecontextwhosewouldbeabetterchoice. E.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. EASY 4.DA.Faultyparallelism.Highmotivationisanounphrase;significantlytalentedisanadjective phrase.Weretheseconstructionsinparallelgrammaticalform,thesentencewouldbemore effective. B.Redundancy.Thewordeitherandthephraseorelseareredundant.Omitelse. C.Wordiness.Theuseoftwosuccessivesubordinateclauseseachbeginningwithwhois wordy. E.Faultyparallelism.Thephrasehighmotivationconsistsofanadjectiveandanoun.The phrasesignificantamountsoftalentconsistsofanadjective,anoun,andaprepositional phrase.Weretheseconstructionsinparallelgrammaticalform,thesentencewouldbemore effective. MEDIUM 5.AB.Idiom.TheconstructionisextremelyawkwardandisnotinstandardEnglish. C.Syntaxerror.Thewordtheredoesn’trefertoaspecificplace.WhereisitthatSarahhas notvisited? D.Incompleteconstruction.Theplace(s)thatSarahhasnotvisitedhasbeenleftoutofthe sentence. E.Idiom.TheconstructionfailstoconformtostandardEnglishidiom. MEDIUM 6.BA.Shiftinpronounperson.Thesentenceshiftsfromsecondtothirdperson—fromyoutowe. C.Shiftinpronounnumber.Thesentenceshiftsfrompluraltosingular—fromwetoone. D.Shiftinpronounperson.Thepronounsshiftfromsecondperson(you)totheimpersonal one. E.Awkwardness.Theconstructionourvisitingisawkwardlyworded. EASY 7.EA.Faultyparallelism.Coordinateelementsinaseriesshouldbeparallelinform.Having KellyCollins…isnotparalleltotheenthusiasticsupport…. B.Awkwardness.Thehavingofthecoordinatingtalent…isawkwardlyexpressedandisnot standardEnglish. C.Faultyparallelism.Coordinateelementsinaseriesshouldbeparallelinform.Kelly Collinsasour…isnotparalleltotheenthusiasticsupport…. D.Mismatchedsentenceparts.ThephraseTobecoordinated…hasnogrammaticalrelation totherestofthesentence. MEDIUM 8.CA.Redundancy.Theconstructionintroduced…forthefirsttimeisredundant. B.Faultypronounreference.Thepronountheyismeanttorefertopublic,butbeingina prepositionalphrase,publicmaynotbetheantecedent. D.Tenseshift.Thesentence,castinthepasttense,shiftstothepastperfect. E.Danglingmodifier.Becauseitwasn’tthepublicthatintroducedBeethoven’smusic,the constructionisillogical. HARD 9.BA.Mismatchedsentenceparts.Thefirstclauseofthesentenceisgrammaticallyandlogically unrelatedtothesecondclause. C.Idiom.TheconstructionfailstousestandardEnglish. D.Awkwardness.Theconstructionisclumsilyworded. E.Pronounreference.Thepronounhedoesnotrefertoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. MEDIUM 10.BA.Pronounreference.Thepronounitlacksaspecificreferent. C.Tenseshift.Thesentence,castinthepresenttense(admire)shiftstothefuturetense(isto be). D.Dictionerror.Thewordit’sisacontractionofitis.Norwoulditsbecorrectbecauseitisa singularpronounthatfailstoagreewithitspluralantecedentorganizations. E.Wordy.Theconstructionisrepetitiousandlong-winded. HARD 11.DA.Pronoun–antecedentagreement.Thepronountheirisplural;theantecedentpersonis singular.Usehisorher. B.Idiomerror.Instandardusage,nounsaredefinedbyothernouns,notbyclauses.Because meditationisanoun,iswhenisnonstandard. C.Noun–verbagreement.Someoneissingular;relaxisplural. E.Pronounreference.Thepronountheirdoesn’trefertoanyspecificnounorpronoun. HARD 12.EA.Commasplice.Commasmaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. B.Pronounreference.Thepronounitfailstorefertoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. C.Sentencefragment.Becausetheconstructionafterthesemicolonlacksaverb,itisnota completesentence. D.Pronoun–antecedentagreement.Thepronounitsissingular;theantecedentlivesisplural. MEDIUM 13.DA.Pronounreference.Thepronounitfailstorefertoaspecificnounorpronoun. B.Commasplice.Commasmaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. C.Tenseshift.Thesentence,castinthepresenttense,improperlyshiftstothepasttense. E.Idiom.TheconstructionisinnonstandardEnglish. MEDIUM 14.EA.Faultycomparison.Othershouldbeusedwhencomparingonethingwithagroupofwhich itisamember.Useanyotherhighway. B.Misplacedmodifier.ThephrasethatbeginsOfalltheroads…shouldmodifyI–95,not travelers. C.Dictionerror.Useamounttorefertomassquantities;usenumbertorefertoanythingthat canbeindividuallycounted. D.Faultycomparison.Whencomparingthreeormorethings,usemostinsteadofmore. HARD PracticeTestD SECTION1 ESSAY TIME:25MINUTES Directions: Plan and write an essay in response to the assigned topic. Use the essay as an opportunitytoshowhowclearlyandeffectivelyyoucanexpressanddevelopideas.Presentyour thoughts logically and precisely. Include specific evidence or examples to support your point of view.Aplain,naturalwritingstyleisprobablybest.Thenumberofwordsisuptoyou,butquantity islessimportantthanquality. Limityouressaytotwosidesofthelinedpaperprovided.You’llhaveenoughspaceifyouwrite oneverylineandavoidwidemargins.Writeorprintlegiblybecausehandwritingthat’shardor impossibletoreadwilldecreaseyourscore. BESURETOWRITEONLYONTHEASSIGNEDTOPIC.ANESSAYWRITTENON ANOTHERTOPICWILLBESCORED“ZERO.” Ifyoufinishinlessthantwenty-fiveminutes,checkyourwork.Donotturntoanothersectionof thetest. SeePracticeTestA. Thinkcarefullyaboutthefollowingpassageandtheassignmentbelow. WeliveintheAgeofInformation.CourtesyoftheInternet,weseemtohaveimmediateaccess toanythingthatanyonecouldeverwanttoknow.Weareinundatedwithsomuchinformation thatwedon’thavetimetoprocessit,evenifwewantedto.Wepreferknowingtothinking becauseknowinghasmoreimmediatevalue.Itkeepsusintheloop,keepsusconnectedtothe peopleinourlives.Ideasaretooairy,tooimpractical,toomuchworkforlittlereward.Fewtalk ideas.Everyonetalksinformation,usuallypersonalinformation.Whereareyougoing?What areyoudoing?Whomareyouseeing?Thesearetheday’sbigquestions. AdaptedfromNealGabler,“TheElusiveBigIdea,” anopinionessayintheNewYorkTimes,August14,2011 Assignment: Does easy access to a virtually unlimited storehouse of facts and information tend to devaluetheimportanceofthinkingandtalkingaboutbigideas?Planandwriteanessayinwhichyou developyourpointofviewonthisissue.Supportyourpositionwithreasoningandexamplestaken fromyourreading,studies,observation,orexperience. Section1 Essay Timeallowed:25minutes Limityouressaytotwopages.Donotskiplines.Writeonlyinsidethebox. Endofessay. DonotproceedtoSection2untiltheallottedtime forSection1haspassed. AnswerSheetfor Multiple-ChoiceQuestions SECTION2 MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS TIME:25MINUTES ImprovingSentences Directions: The underlined sentences and sentence parts below may contain errors in standard English, including awkward or ambiguous expression, poor word choice (diction), incorrect sentence structure, or faulty grammar, usage, and punctuation. Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichofthefivealternativeversionsmosteffectivelyandcorrectlyexpressesthemeaning oftheunderlinedmaterial.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorrespondingspaceontheanswer sheet. Choice A always repeats the original. Choose A if none of the other choices improves the originalsentence. EXAMPLE ANSWER My old Aunt Maud loves to cook, and eatingalso. (A)cook,andeatingalso (B)cookandtoeat (C)cook,andtoeatalso (D)cookandeatbesides (E)cookand,inaddition,eat 1.AlthoughmanyyoungpainterslearnedtopaintfromRembrandthimself,whenthemasterdied, noimmediatesuccessorshavecomeintobeing. (A)noimmediatesuccessorshavecomeintobeing (B)hehadnoimmediatesuccessors (C)thecomingofimmediatesuccessorswerenottobe (D)therewasnotacomingofanimmediatesuccessor (E)therewerenotimmediatesuccessors 2.NewspapereditorialsacrossthecountryarguedbrilliantlyagainsttheSupremeCourt’sdecision onthedeathpenalty. (A)NewspapereditorialsacrossthecountryarguedbrilliantlyagainsttheSupremeCourt’s decisiononthedeathpenalty (B)NewspapereditorialsacrossthecountrythatbrilliantlyarguedagainsttheSupremeCourt’s decisiononthedeathpenalty (C)TheSupremeCourt’sdecisiononthedeathpenalty,brilliantlyopposedbynewspaper editorialsacrossthecountry (D)TheSupremeCourt’sdecisiononthedeathpenaltybeingbrilliantlyopposedacrossthe countrybynewspapereditorials (E)BrilliantargumentsagainsttheSupremeCourt’sdecisiononthedeathpenaltythatappeared innewspapersacrossthecountry 3.Thecountry’smostimportantcityfortheartsandentertainment,touristsbythemillionsvisit NewYorkeachyear. (A)touristsbythemillionsvisitNewYorkeachyear (B)millionsoftouristsvisitNewYorkannually (C)eachyearmillionsoftouristsvisitNewYork (D)touristsbythemillionsareattractedtoNewYorkeveryyear (E)NewYorkattractsmillionsoftouristseachyear 4.ThereisplentyofThoreau’spracticaladviceaboutlife,whicheveryreadercanbenefitfromin hisWalden. (A)ThereisplentyofThoreau’spracticaladviceaboutlife,whicheveryreadercanbenefit frominhisWalden. (B)InThoreau’sWalden,theygivethereaderplentyofpracticalandbeneficialadviceabout life. (C)ReadingThoreau’sWalden,plentyofpracticalandbeneficialadviceaboutlifeisoffered. (D)InWalden,Thoreauoffersreadersplentyofpracticalandbeneficialadviceaboutlife. (E)BecauseofofferingplentyofpracticalandbeneficialadviceaboutlifeinThoreau’s Walden. 5.Nuclearwastedisposalisagrowingproblemconsideringthatnostatepermitsradioactive materialtransportedonitsroadsortoburyitinsideitsborders. (A)consideringthatnostatepermitsradioactivematerialtransportedonitsroadsortoburyit insideitsborders (B)consideringthatnostatepermitsneitherradioactivematerialtransportedonitsroadsor buriedinsideitsborders (C)becausenostatepermitsradioactivematerialtransportedonitsroadsorburiedinsideits borders (D)becausenostatewillpermitradioactivematerialnotonlytobecarriedonitsroadsbutin additionalsoburiedinsideitsborders (E)beingthatnostatehadpermittedradioactivematerialtobecarriedonitsroadsorburied insideitsborders 6.IfyouwishtotrulyunderstandJefferson’snotionof“thepursuitofhappiness,”theletters Jeffersonwrotetohissonshouldberead. (A)thelettersJeffersonwrotetohissonshouldberead (B)Jefferson’sletterstohissonshouldberead (C)youshouldreadthelettersJeffersonwrotetohisson (D)youshouldreadhisletterstohisson (E)apersonshouldreadhisletterstohisson 7.Yellowstone,anextremelypopularnationalpark,hasbeendescribedasthenoisiestparkand alsothemosttranquilofthem. (A)thenoisiestparkandalsothemosttranquilofthem (B)notonlythenoisiestpark,butalsomoretranquilthanany (C)thenoisiestpark,atthesametimeitisthemosttranquilpark (D)atoncethenoisiestandalsothemosttranquilofthem (E)thenoisiestandyetthemosttranquilofparks 8.AllanaskedSadietogotothepromwithhim,thissurprisedSadiebecauseshethoughtAllan wouldaskMarnie. (A)him,thissurprisedSadie (B)him,thereforeSadiewassurprised (C)him,surprisingSadie (D)him,whichsurprisesSadie (E)him,thatwassurprisingtoSadie 9.JustasthenumberofapplicationstoStanfordandYalehasgrownannuallysince2005,sohas Columbia’sapplicantpoolrisensteadily. (A)sohasColumbia’sapplicantpoolrisensteadily (B)Columbiaattractedapplicantsinsteadilyrisingnumbers (C)Columbiaissteadilygainingapplicantsinitspool (D)andsothen,forColumbia,arisingapplicantpoolhasgrownsteadily (E)andlikethemColumbia’ssteadilyrisingpoolofapplicants 10.ThecityofOakland,California,suffersfromahighcrimerate,whileitisaverydesirable placetolive. (A)suffersfromahighcrimerate,whileitis (B)althoughsufferingfromahighcrimerate,is (C)sufferingfromahighcrimeratemadeit (D)whichsuffersfromahighcrimerate,althoughitis (E)whoserateofcrimeishigh,makesit 11.DriversinWashington,D.C.,saythatthecityisatoncefrustratingbecauseofitsnumerous trafficcirclesbuttheyhavedesigneditbeautifully. (A)buttheyhavedesigneditbeautifully (B)althoughitisbeautifullydesigned (C)yetitisbeautifulinitsdesign (D)whilebeingdesignedsobeautifully (E)andpleasingbecauseofitsbeautifuldesign IdentifyingSentenceErrors Directions: The underlined and lettered parts of each sentence below may contain an error in grammar, usage, word choice (diction), or expression (idiom). Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichitem,ifany,containsanerror.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorresponding spaceontheanswersheet.Nosentencecontainsmorethanoneerror.Somesentencesmaycontain noerror.Inthatcase,thecorrectchoicewillalwaysbeE(Noerror). EXAMPLE Jillwent tothe ofthehillina fastertime herfriend,Jack. . ANSWER 12.Theplightofimmigrants, heartbreaking inSinclair ’snovel,TheJungle, thesufferingofthemigrantworkersinSteinbeck’sGrapesofWrath. 13.ThatNaomi,the andpossibly hero,is Revolutionmakesthestory 14.Anumberoftheathletes appealingtoyoungreaders. wereparticipatingintheOlympics steroidsandothermuscle-buildingsubstances 15. andcatchingtroutand 16.Carolyn’smother college,got 17.Mikereadanovel chapter 18.His 19. theauthor, anewstructure, highschooland aseparate character. murderofthreeFBIagents thatheisoneof criminalsinAmericanhistory. theloversrowacrossthelakeinasmallboat,Catherinefearstheapproachingstorm,but theyarriveontheoppositeshoreshe 20. prizedgamefish. birthtoCarolynonOctober20,1993. careerasadrugdealerand the hikinginthewilderness,climbing bornandraisedinBaltimore,whereshe and tohaveused performance. theyear,theparkattractsvisitorswhocome themountains, duringthe thatthiscerealnotonly container. more thatshe theotherone, duringthetrip. packedinasmaller 21.Ifyouexpecttobeabsent seniorpapersaredue, should thepaperearlyor, arrangeforanextension. 22.Thelargebeechtreesinour yardsalwaysshed darkredleaveslate theothertreesarebare. 23. Ican’tconcur theblogger ’sopinions,Iamgrateful expressedso eloquently. 24. Elizabethisthestrongestcandidateforthejob naturalintelligence 25. voters theirballotsforher. Roxanne,thevaledictorian, ontheSATwasfarlower herlooks,experience,and thehighestgrade-pointaverageintheclass,herscore 26.Theorchestraplayed throughouttheweddingreception,that barelypossible aconversationwithoutshouting. 27.Highschooljockswhowishto beingsuccessful 28.The shouldrememberthattheodds staggering. thatoneisoftenfaced between theethicalthing actinginone’s everyoneinthecondo,and theotherresidentsbecause ownself-interest. 29.Thefalsealarm she inabuildingthatburneddown. ImprovingParagraphs Directions: The passage below is the draft of a student’s essay. Some parts of the passage need improvement. Read the passage and answer the questions that follow. The questions are about revisions that might improve all or part of the passage’s organization, development, sentence structure, or choice of words. Choose the answer that best follows the requirements of standard writtenEnglish. Questions30–35refertothefollowingpassage. [1]Manyreasonsareusedtojustifythecruelpracticeofkeepinganimalspennedupinzoos.[2] Parentsbringtheirkidstogawkatthecagedcreatures.[3]Then,thinkingtheyarebeingkindtothe poorcreatures,theydropquartersintofooddispensersandtossafewpelletstothemonkeysor elephants.[4]Theremustbebetterreasons,imprisoningwildanimalsissimplybarbaric. [5]Somepeoplearguethatazooiseducationalbyallowingvisitorstoseewhatanimalslooklike. [6]Ifsomeoneissodumbthattheydon’tknowwhatazebralookslike,theyshouldlookituponline. [7]Buthumanshavenorighttopullanimalsfromtheirnaturalenvironmentandtosealtheirfate foreverbehindasetofcoldmetalbars.[8]Animalsneedtorunfreeandlive,butbyputtingthemin zooswearedisruptinganddisturbingnature. [9]Thenthereistheissueofsanitaryconditionsforanimalsatthezoo.[10]Whentheanimalshave beenatthezooforawhiletheyadoptaparticularlifestyle.[11]Theyloungearoundallday,and they’refedataparticulartime.[12]Theygetusedtothat.[13]Thatmeansthattheywouldnever againbeabletobeplacedbackintheirnaturalenvironment.[14]Theywouldneversurvive.[15]And iftheyreproducewhileincaptivity,theyarebornintoanartificiallifestyle.[16]Afterafew generationstheanimalsbecometotallydifferentfromtheirwildandfreeancestors,andvisitorstothe zooseeanimalshardlyresemblingthoselivingintheirnaturalhabitat. 30.Incontext,whichofthefollowingisthebestphrasetoinsertatthebeginningofsentence2 (reproducedbelow)? Parentsbringtheirkidstogawkatthecagedcreatures. (A)Inanycase,onewouldbe (B)Foronething, (C)However,thisisthat (D)Thatistosay, (E)Anexcellentchoicewouldbethat 31.Incontext,whichofthefollowingrevisionswouldmostimprovesentence4(reproduced below)? Theremustbebetterreasons,imprisoningwildanimalsissimplybarbaric. (A)Beginwith“Idisagreebecause.” (B)Change“Theremust”to“There’sgotto.” (C)Deletethecommaandadd“because”initsplace. (D)Substitute“terribly”for“simply.” (E)Change“imprisoning”to“toimprison.” 32.Takingsentence5intoaccount,whichofthefollowingisthemosteffectiverevisionof sentence6? (A)Readingaboutanimalsonlineratherthanstudyingthemfirsthand. (B)AbookoraWebsitecangiveyoumoreinformationaboutzebrasandotheranimals. (C)Theyclaimthatviewingaliveanimalismuchmoreinformativethanlookingatitspicture. (D)Doesn’teveryoneknowwhatazebralookslike,evenlittlechildren? (E)Butifsomeoneissodumbthattheydon’tknowwhatazebralookslike,theyshouldlookit uponline. 33.Whichofthefollowingreasonsmostaccuratelydescribestheauthor ’spurposeinchoosingthe wordsunderlinedinsentence7(reproducedbelow)? Buthumanshavenorighttopullanimalsfromtheirnaturalenvironmentandtosealtheirfate foreverbehindasetofcoldmetalbars. (A)toinformthereaderthatanimalsinthezooliveincages (B)toproposeasolutiontotheplightofanimalsinthezoo (C)toarouseinthereaderanemotionalresponsetotheproblem (D)toappealtothereadertoweighbothsidesoftheissue (E)toprovethatanimalsdon’tenjoybeinginthezoo 34.Whichofthefollowingrevisionsofsentence9isthebesttopicsentenceforthethird paragraph? (A)Captivityaltersthebasicnatureofanimals. (B)Noonefavorszoosthatdeliberatelytrytochangethelifestyleofanimalsincaptivity. (C)Livingconditionsforanimalsinthezooareordinarilyharshandcruel. (D)Livinginthezoo,conditionsofanimalsaffectthempermanently. (E)Lifeinthezooforanimalsisnotabowlofcherries. 35.Whichrevisionmosteffectivelycombinessentences12,13,and14? (A)Becausetheywouldneverbeabletosurviveagainbackintheirnaturalenvironment,they growusedtobeingfed. (B)Havinggrownusedtoregularfeedings,theanimalswouldbeunabletosurvivebackin theirnativeenvironment. (C)Growingaccustomedtothat,placingthembackintheirnativehabitatandbeingunableto surviveontheirown. (D)They,havinggottenusedtobeingfedregularly,intheirnaturalenvironmentwouldnever survive. (E)Beingunabletosurvivebackintheirnaturalenvironment,theanimalshavegrown accustomedtoregularfeedings. EndofSection2. DonotreturntoSection1.DonotproceedtoSection3untiltheallottedtimeforSection2has passed. SECTION3 MULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS TIME:10MINUTES ImprovingSentences Directions: The underlined sentences and sentence parts below may contain errors in standard English, including awkward or ambiguous expression, poor word choice (diction), incorrect sentence structure, or faulty grammar, usage, and punctuation. Read each sentence carefully and identifywhichofthefivealternativeversionsmosteffectivelyandcorrectlyexpressesthemeaning oftheunderlinedmaterial.Indicateyourchoicebyfillinginthecorrespondingspaceontheanswer sheet. Choice A always repeats the original. Choose A if none of the other choices improves the originalsentence. 1.Havingamotherwhoplaysinasymphonyorchestraandafatherwhoteachesmusicinhigh school,theviolinandthepianoaretwooftheinstrumentsthatRosielearnedatanearlyage. (A)theviolinandthepianoaretwooftheinstrumentsthatRosielearnedatanearlyage (B)violinandpianoweretaughttoRosieatanearlyage (C)twoinstruments,theviolinandthepiano,Rosielearnedtoplayatanearlyage (D)atanearlyageRosielearnedtoplayboththeviolinandthepiano (E)Rosielearnedtheplayingofbothviolinandpianoatanearlyage 2.Whenchildrenchangefromlittleboysandgirlstoyoungmenandwomen,ordinarilycausing themtobecomemoreself-sufficientandindependent. (A)ordinarilycausingthemtobecome (B)andordinarilycausingthemtobecome (C)theyordinarilybecome (D)andasaresulttheyordinarilybecome (E)causingthemtobecomeordinarily 3.Susandoesnothaveabsolutefreewillbecausewhatshedoeswouldhavetobedeterminedby thecultureandtheenvironment. (A)freewillbecausewhatshedoeswouldhavetobedetermined (B)freewillbecausewhatshedoesisdetermined (C)freewillbecauseithastobedetermined (D)freewill,andthereasonisthatheractionsbeingdetermined (E)freewill,heractionsaredetermined 4.Thestudents’finalSocialStudiesexamhasbeenstolenfromtheteacher ’sdesk;thissituation forcingthemtotakeamake-uptestonSaturday. (A)desk;thissituationforcingthemtotakeamake-up (B)desk,whichwasthereasonfortheirtakingamake-up (C)desk,thisforcingthemtotakeamake-up (D)desk,asituationthatwillforcetheclasstotakeamake-up (E)desk,withittheyareforcedtotakeamake-up 5.Wasteproductsfromcuttinglumber,suchaswoodchipsandsawdust,aresomeofthe ingredientsofwaferboardpanelsusedinresidentialconstruction. (A)Wasteproductsfromcuttinglumber,suchaswoodchipsandsawdust,aresomeofthe ingredients (B)Wasteproductsfromcuttinglumber,suchaswoodchipsandsawdust,issomeofthe ingredients (C)Wasteproductsfromcuttinglumber,suchaswoodchipsandsawdust,producesoneofthe ingredients (D)Lumber-cuttingwasteproducts,whichincludewoodchipsandsawdust,makingthemthe ingredients (E)Lumber-cuttingwasteproductsthatincludesnotonlywoodchipsbutsawdustisan ingredientof 6.IfyoucomparethenumberofNYYankeepennantswiththeBostonRedSox,you’llseethatthe Yankeesaretraditionalwinners. (A)IfyoucomparethenumberofNYYankeepennantswiththeBostonRedSox,you’llseethat theYankees (B)ComparingthenumberofNYYankeepennantsandtheBostonRedSox,you’llseethatthe Yankees (C)IncomparisonwiththeBostonRedSox,thenumberofNYYankeepennantsshowsthatthe Yankees (D)MakingacomparisonbetweenthenumberofNYYankeepennantswiththeBostonRedSox pennantsshowthattheYankees (E)AcomparisonofthenumberofNYYankeepennantsandBostonRedSoxpennantsshows thattheYankees 7.Today’snewspapersaysthatmathematicsisfarmorepopularamongJapanesehighschool studentsthanamongAmericanstudents. (A)thanamongAmericanstudents (B)thanstudentsinAmerica (C)comparedtoAmericanhighschoolstudents (D)thanmathematicsisamonghighschoolstudentsinAmerica (E)thanitspopularityamongAmericanstudents 8.Inthenineteenthcentury,immigrantsenteredtheUnitedStateswithfewlimitationsand restrictions,buttheyhavemultipliedsincethen. (A)restrictions,buttheyhavemultipliedsincethen (B)restrictions,buttheyhavenowmultiplied (C)restrictions,andhavesincemultiplied (D)restrictions,which,sincethen,havemultiplied (E)restrictions,sincemultiplied 9.InMoscow,famouscomposers,artists,andwritersareburiedinaspecialcemetery,andthey onlymustbeRussian. (A)famouscomposers,artists,andwritersareburiedinaspecialcemetery,andtheyonlymust beRussian (B)therehadbeenburiedinaspecialcemeteryfamouscomposers,artists,andwriterswho havebeenonlyRussian (C)beingburiedinaspecialcemeteryonlyforfamouscomposers,artists,andwriterswhoare Russian (D)aspecialcemeteryforburyingonlyfamousRussiancomposers,artists,andwriters (E)famousRussiancomposers,artists,andwritersareburiedinaspecialcemetery 10.TheBostonTeaPartywasaminorhistoricaleventwithwhichthecolonistseitherintendedto challengeorabolishtheking’sunfairtaxonimports. (A)eventwithwhichthecolonistseitherintendedtochallengeorabolish (B)event,aboutwhicheitherthecolonistsintendedtochallengeortoabolish (C)eventthathadtheintentionofeitherchallengingortoabolish (D)event,theuseofwhichwaseitherachallengeoritabolished (E)eventthatthecolonistsusedtochallengeorabolish 11.Shouldacollegeapplicationessayberequired,oneoughttosetasidealargeblockoftimeand avoidwritingitatthelastminute. (A)Shouldacollegeapplicationessayberequired (B)Shouldyouneedtowriteacollegeapplicationessay (C)Ifyouneedtowriteacollegeapplicationessay (D)Inanyeventthatoneneedstowriteacollegeapplicationessay (E)Ifacollegeapplicationessayisnecessaryforanyonetowrite 12.Theatmosphereintheclassroomchangedwhenthesnowstartedtofalloutsideandtheteacher couldnotgetthemtopayattentiontothelessonafterthat. (A)outsideandtheteachercouldnotgetthemtopayattentiontothelessonafterthat (B)outside,theteacherwasunabletobringtheclass’sattentionbacktothelessonafterthat (C)outside,andtheteachercouldnolongergetthechildrentopayattentiontothelesson (D)outside,causingthemtoloseattentiontothelesson,despitetheteacher ’seffort (E)outside,inspiteoftheteacher ’seffortwasunabletogetthemtopayattentiontothelesson afterthat 13.OfthefourseasonsinNewEngland,Grannymostlovestheautumn,ofwhichshefindsthe milddaysandcoolnightsespeciallyappealing. (A)autumn,ofwhichshefindsthemilddaysandcoolnightsespeciallyappealing (B)autumn;shefindsthemilddaysandcoolnightsespeciallyappealing (C)autumn,anditisespeciallythemilddaysandcoolnightsthatareofappeal (D)autumn;theappealofthemilddaysandcoolnightsespecially (E)autumn,especiallyappealingtoGrannyarethemilddaysandcoolnights 14.Manycountriespunishcitizenswhospeakoutagainstthegovernment,keepingtheU.N. CommissiononHumanRightsverybusy,mostlyusingtortureandimprisonment. (A)Manycountriespunishcitizenswhospeakoutagainstthegovernment,keepingtheU.N. CommissiononHumanRightsverybusy,mostlyusingtortureandimprisonment (B)Manycountries,punishingcitizensmostlyusingtortureandimprisonmentforspeakingout againstthegovernment,keeptheU.N.CommissiononHumanRightsverybusy (C)Inmanycountriespunishingcitizenswhospeakoutagainstthegovernment,U.N. CommissiononHumanRightsiskeptverybusy,mostlyusingtortureandimprisonment (D)Usingtortureandimprisonment,manycountriespunishcitizenswhospeakoutagainstthe government,asituationthatkeepstheU.N.CommissiononHumanRightsverybusy (E)Punishingcitizenswhospeakoutagainstthegovernmentusingtortureandimprisonment inmanycountries,theU.N.CommissiononHumanRightsiskeptverybusy EndofSection3. DonotreturntoSections1or2. ENDOFWRITINGTEST. AnswerKey SECTION1—THEESSAY What follows are ideas for answering the essay question given in this practice test. The essay you wrote may contain some of the same or similar ideas. Don’t be alarmed if your essay is much different,however.Yourapproachtothequestionmaybeatleastasvalidasanyofthosedescribed here: Howyourespondtothequestionwilldependinpartonyourdefinitionofinformation.Yourhead isundoubtedlyfullofinformation,orfacts,about,say,Americanhistory,fromthelandingofthe Pilgrimstothelatestpoliticalscandal.Andifyouwantmoreinformation,youcansearchtheInternet. Ideas,ontheotherhand,can’tbegatheredaseasily.Taketheideaofequalrights,forinstance.For decadessegmentsofourpopulation—amongothers,blacksandwomen—havestruggledforequal rights.Whetherthey’vesucceededisquestionable,forequalityisanamorphousmultidimensional concept. Theideaofequality,asanyliterateAmericanwilltellyou,liesattheheartofademocraticwayof life.Yet,howoftenhaveyouseriouslyponderedortalkedaboutit,orevenhearditdiscussedfrankly byothers?Ifyousayrarelyornever,thethesisofyourSATessaymayconcurwithNealGabler,the authoroftheprompt,whoclaimsthatreadilyavailablefactsandinformationhavedisplacedideasin ourday-to-daylives.Thinkforamomentaboutyourinteractionswithfriends,classmates,teachers, andfamily.Doyoutalkmostlyofmundane,everydaythings,ordoesyourconversationsometimes veertowardloftytopicslikethehumancondition,spirituality,effectsofdigitalcommunication, theoriesofart,themeaningoftruth,andsoforth?Alistofbig,intellectuallydemandingideascango onandon,butifyourinterestsandconcernsrarelyorneverdriftinthatdirection,yourexperience mightwellconfirmGabler ’sview. Ontheotherhand,asaconsequenceofyourstudies,reading,observation,andexperienceyour headmaybeburstingwithgreat,oftenstimulating,ideas.Perhapsyou’reabsorbedorevenobsessed withprofoundissuesofgovernment,economics,religion,war,sex,theenvironment,education,and othermatters.Perhapsalifeofthoughtandcontemplationiswhatyouenvisionforyourself.Ifthatis you,youressaymightarguethatGablerisoffbase.Youcouldevenbeginyouressaybypointingout thatGabler ’sownprovocativeidea—thatweliveinaworldincreasinglybereftofideas—contradicts theverythesisheexpounds. AsalwaysinanSATessay,youcantakeamiddle-of-the-roadposition.Youmaydiscern,for instance,thatmanypeoplearebothwellstockedwithinformationandattunedtobigideas.Scientists, artists,farmers,engineers,doctors,accountants,architects,salespeople,lawyers,statesmenand stateswomen—peopleofallstripes—havesomehowlearnedtobalancetoday’sfrenzyfor informationwiththeleisurelycontemplationofideas.Forthemreflectingonideasismorethan simplyawaytopassthetime,forideasoftenhaveutilitarianvalue.Evenhighlyabstractideascanbe employedtohelpmakedecisions,solveproblems,andstimulatetheimagination.Infact,thoughtful individualswithaknackforjudiciouslycombininginformationandideasmightserveasmodelsof rationalityinanincreasinglyjumbledworld.What’smore,suchpeoplemightwellbethefocusofa goodSATessay. SELF-SCORINGGUIDE Using this guide, rate yourself in each of these six categories. Enter your scores in the spaces provided,andcalculatetheaverageofthesixratingstodetermineyourfinalscore. OntheSATitself,tworeaderswillscoreyouressayonascaleof6(high)to1(low),orzeroifyou failtowriteontheassignedtopic.Thescorewillbereportedtoyouasthesumofthetworatings, from12to0. RememberthatSATessaysarejudgedinrelationtootheressayswrittenonthesametopic. Therefore,thisscoringguidemaynotyieldatotallyaccuratepredictionofthescoreyoucanexpect ontheexam.Becauseitisdifficulttoreadyourownessaywithtotalobjectivity,youmightimprove thevalidityofyourscorebygettingasecondopinionaboutyouressayfromaninformedfriendora teacher. OverallImpression 6 5 4 3 2 1 Consistentlyoutstandinginclarityandcompetence;veryinsightful;clearlydemonstratesacommandof writingskills;few,ifany,errors Generallyeffectiveandreasonablyconsistentinclarityandcompetence;occasionalerrorsorlapsesin quality;containssomeinsight Adequatecompetence;somelapsesinquality;fairlyclearandwithevidenceofinsight Generallyinadequatebutdemonstratespotentialcompetence;containssomeconfusingaspects Seriouslylimited;significantweaknessesinquality;generallyunclearorincoherent Demonstratesfundamentalincompetence;containsseriousflaws;significantlyundevelopedorconfusing Score DevelopmentofPointofView 6 5 4 3 2 1 Fullydevelopedwithclear,convincing,andappropriatesupportingmaterial;demonstrateshighlevelof criticalthinking Generallywelldevelopedwithrelevantexamples,reasons,andotherevidencetosupportamainidea; demonstratescritical-thinkingskills Partlydevelopsamainideawithrelativelyappropriateexamplesandreasons;showssomeevidenceof criticalthinking Weakdevelopmentofmainideaandlittleevidenceofcriticalthinking;barelyappropriateexamplesor othersupportingmaterial Lacksafocusonamainidea;weakcriticalthinking;inappropriateorinsufficientevidence Failstoarticulateaviablepointofview;providesvirtuallynoevidenceofunderstandingtheprompt Score OrganizationofIdeas 6 5 4 3 2 1 Score Extremelywellorganizedandfocusedonamainidea;supportingevidencepresentedinaneffective, logicalsequence Generallywellorganizedandreasonablyfocusedonamainidea;mostlycoherentandlogicalpresentation ofsupportingmaterial Reasonablyorganized;showssomeevidenceofthoughtfulsequenceandprogressionofideas Limitedorganizationandvaguefocusonmainidea;containssomeconfusioninthesequenceofideas Barelyrecognizableorganization;littlecoherence;seriousproblemswithsequenceofideas Nodiscernableorganization;incoherentsequenceofideas LanguageandWordChoice 6 5 4 3 2 1 Highlyeffectiveandskillfuluseoflanguage;varied,appropriate,andaccuratevocabulary Demonstratescompetenceinuseoflanguage;appropriateandcorrectvocabulary Adequatebutinconsistentuseofeffectivelanguage;conventionalbutmostlycorrectuseofvocabulary Someminorerrorsinexpression;generallyweakorlimitedvocabulary;occasionallyinappropriateword choice Frequenterrorsinexpression;verylimitedvocabulary;incorrectwordchoiceinterfereswithmeaning Seriouslydeficientinuseoflanguage;meaningobscuredbywordchoice Score SentenceStructure 6 5 4 3 2 1 Variedandengagingsentencestructure Reasonablyvariedsentencestructure Somesentencevariation Littlesentencevariation;minorsentenceerrors Frequentsentenceerrors Severesentenceerrors;meaningobscured Score Grammar,Usage,andMechanics 6 5 4 3 2 1 Virtuallyorentirelyerror-free Relativelyfreeoftechnicalflaws Someminorerrors;oneortwomajorerrors Accumulatedminorandmajorerrors Containsfrequentmajorerrorsthatinterferewithmeaning Containssevereerrorsthatobscuremeaning Score ANSWERSTOMULTIPLE-CHOICEQUESTIONS SECTION2 1.B 2.A 3.E 4.D 5.C 6.C 7.E 8.C 9.A 10.B 11.E 12.B 13.E 14.A 15.C 16.E 17.A 18.C 19.C 20.D 21.B 22.E 23.B 24.C 25.D 26.B 27.B 28.D 29.B 30.B 31.C 32.C 33.C 34.A 35.B SECTION3 1.D 2.C 3.B 4.D 5.A 6.E 7.A 8.D 9.E 10.E 11.A 12.C 13.B 14.D PerformanceEvaluationChart ConversionTable Thistablewillgiveyouanapproximationofwhatyourscorewouldbeifthispracticetesthadbeen anactualSATWritingTest.Theessaycountsforroughly30percentofthefinalscore;themultiplechoicequestions,forroughly70percent. Forexample,ifyourMultiple-ChoiceRawScorewas35andyourEssaySubscorewas6,thetable indicatesthatyourfinalscoreonthetestwouldbeapproximatelyhalfwaybetween500and710,or 600. AnswerExplanations Note:Althoughsomechoicescontainmultipleerrors,onlyoneortwomajorerrorsareexplained foreachincorrectchoice. SECTION2—IMPROVINGSENTENCES TIP KeytoLevelsofDifficulty Rating EASY MEDIUM HARD Percentageofstudents likelytoanswercorrectly >80% >65% <65% 1.BA.Shiftinverbtense.Thesentence,castinthepasttense,shiftstothepresentperfect. C.Subject–verbagreement.Thesubjectcomingissingular.Theverbwereisplural.Usewas. D.Idiomerror.ThephrasenotacomingisnotstandardEnglish. E.Idiomerror.ThephrasenotimmediatesuccessorsisnotstandardEnglish. EASY 2.AB.Sentencefragment.Thegrammaticalsubject(editorials)lacksaverb.Theverbargued cannotbetheverbbecauseitisinasubordinateclause. C.Sentencefragment.Thegrammaticalsubject(decision)lacksaverb.Theverbopposed cannotbetheverbbecauseitisinaclausewhosesolefunctionistomodifyanoun. D.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb.The–ingformofaverb(being) maynotbeusedasthemainverbwithoutahelpingverb,asinisbeing. E.Sentencefragment.Thegrammaticalsubject(arguments)lacksaverb.Theverbappeared cannotbetheverbbecauseitisinasubordinateclause. EASY 3.EA.Misplacedmodifier.ThephrasemostimportantcityshouldmodifyNewYorkinsteadof tourists. B.Misplacedmodifier.ThephrasemostimportantcityshouldmodifyNewYorkinsteadof millions. C.Misplacedmodifier.ThephrasemostimportantcityshouldmodifyNewYorkinsteadof year. D.Misplacedmodifier.ThephrasemostimportantcityshouldmodifyNewYorkinsteadof tourists. MEDIUM 4.DA.Pronounreference.ThepronounhisreferstoreaderinsteadoftoThoreau. B.Pronounreference.Thepronountheylacksanantecedent. C.Danglingparticiple.ThephraseReadingThoreau’sWaldenshouldmodifyreaderinstead ofplenty. E.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionisasubordinateclause,notacompletesentence. MEDIUM 5.CA.Faultyparallelism.Coordinateelementsinasentenceshouldbeinparallelform.Theverb phrasetransportedonitsroadsisnotparalleltotoburyitinsideitsborders B.Idiomerror.Theconstructionneither…orisnotstandardEnglish.Useneither…nor. D.Redundancy.Thephrasesnotonlyandbutinadditionalsoareredundant. E.Shiftinverbtense.Thesentence,castinthepresenttense,shiftstothepastperfect. HARD 6.CA.Sentenceshift.Byswitchingthegrammaticalsubjectyouinthefirstclausetolettersinthe second,thesentenceshiftsfromtheactivetothepassivevoice. B.Mixedconstruction.Thefirstclausebeginsinthesecondperson(you).Thesecondclause eliminatesthepronounandbecomesimpersonal. D.Pronounreference.Thepronouninhisletterslacksaspecificreferent. E.Pronounreference.ThepronounhisreferstopersoninsteadoftoJefferson. HARD 7.EA.Pronounreference.Thepronounthemdoesn’trefertoaspecificpluralnounorother pronoun. B.Faultyparallelism.Theadjectivenoisiestandthephrasemoretranquilthananyshouldbe inparallelform.Usethemosttranquil. C.Commasplice.Commasmaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. D.Pronounreference.Thepronounthemdoesn’trefertoaspecificpluralnounorother pronoun. HARD 8.CA.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. B.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. D.Tenseshift.Thesentence,castinthepasttense,shiftstothepresent. E.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. MEDIUM 9.AB.Shiftinverbtense.Thesentence,castinpresentperfecttense(hasgrown),shiftstothepast tense(attracted). C.Faultycomparison.ThenounnumberisbeingcomparedtoColumbia,anillogical comparison. D.Awkwardness.TheconstructionisnotinstandardEnglish. E.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. MEDIUM 10.BA.Faultysubordination.Theconjunctionwhilefailstocreatealogicalrelationshipbetween thetwoclausesinthesentence. C.Mixedconstruction.Theverbmadehasnologicalrelationshipwiththesubjectofthe sentence. D.Faultysubordination.Theconjunctionalthoughfailstocreatealogicalrelationship betweenthetwoclausesinthesentence. E.Mixedconstruction.Theverbmakeshasnologicalrelationshipwiththesubjectofthe sentence. MEDIUM 11.EA.Pronounreference.Thepronountheyfailstorefertoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. B.Faultyparallelism.Coordinateelementsinasentenceshouldbeinparallelform.The phraseatoncefrustratingisnotparalleltoalthoughitisbeautifullydesigned. C.Faultyparallelism.Coordinateelementsinasentenceshouldbeinparallelform.The phraseatoncefrustratingisnotparalleltoyetitisbeautifulinitsdesign. D.Faultyparallelism.Coordinateelementsinasentenceshouldbeinparallelform.The phraseatoncefrustratingisnotparalleltowhilebeingdesignedsobeautifully. MEDIUM SECTION2—IDENTIFYINGSENTENCEERRORS 12.BSubject–verbagreement.Thesubjectplightissingular.Theverbareisplural.Useis. EASY 13.ENoerror. EASY 14.APronounchoice.Standardusagerequirestheuseofwhoratherthanwhichtorefertopeople. MEDIUM 15.CFaultyparallelism.Coordinateelementsinasentenceshouldbeinparallelform.Watersports isnotparalleltohiking…climbing…andcatching. MEDIUM 16.ENoerror. EASY 17.AIdiomerror.Useinwhichinsteadofwhere. HARD 18.CSubject–verbagreement.Thecompoundsubjectcareer…and…murderrequiresaplural verb.Useprove. HARD 19.CVerbtense.Thesentenceiscastinthepresenttense.Theverbsaidisinthepasttense.Use says. EASY 20.DIdiomerror.Incontext,thephraseplusbeingmaynotbeusedinplaceofbutisalso.In addition,beingmaynotbeusedasamainverbwithoutahelpingverb,asinisbeing. EASY 21.BShiftinpronounperson.Thesecondpersonpronoun(you)improperlyswitchestothe impersonalpronoun(one). MEDIUM 22.ENoerror. EASY 23.BIdiomerror.Instandardusage,thephraseisconcurwith. MEDIUM 24.CNoun–verbagreement.Nounsinaseriesrequirepluralverbs.Useinvite. MEDIUM 25.DFaultycomparison.ScorecannotbecomparedtoCharles.UseCharles’orCharles’score. MEDIUM 26.BDictionerror.Anadverbisneededtomodifytheverbplayed.Useloudly. HARD 27.BShiftinnumber.Becausethenounjocksisplural,athleteshouldalsobeplural.Useathletes. MEDIUM 28.DIdiomerror.InstandardEnglish,theobjectsoftheprepositionbetweenshouldbejoinedby andinsteadofor. HARD 29.BPronounchoice.Pronounsintheobjectivecaseareusedtorefertopersonswhoreceivean action.Inthissentence,use“thealarmfrightened…her.” HARD SECTION2—IMPROVINGPARAGRAPHS 30.BA.Notagoodchoicebecausethepurposeofthesentenceistociteoneofthereasonsusedto justifykeepinganimalsinzoos. B.Thephraseisusedtointroduceanillustrationofanideastatedintheprevioussentence.It isthebestanswer. C.Incontext,thephrasemakesnosense. D.Notagoodchoicebecauseitsuggeststhatsentence2willrephraseanideastatedin sentence1. E.Incontext,thephraseisirrelevant. EASY 31.CA.Incontext,disagreeisapoorwordchoice.Ifanything,thewriterdisapprovesofthe parents’actionsdescribedinsentence3. B.Thisrevisionmakesthepluralsubjectofthesentence(reasons)disagreewiththesingular verbis,foundinthecontractionThere’s. C.Thischoiceeliminatesthecommasplice,retainsthebasicmeaningofthesentence,and subordinatesoneideatoanother.Itisthebestanswer. D.Becausethesentencecontainsacommasplice,thisrevisionfailstoimprovethesentence appreciably. E.Becausethesentencecontainsacommasplice,thisrevisionfailstoimprovethesentence appreciably. HARD 32.CA.Thisisasentencefragment.Itlacksamainverb. B.Thissentencecontradictstheideastatedinsentence5. C.Thischoicedevelopsthepointstatedinsentence5.Itisthebestanswer. D.Thischoiceisirrelevanttotheideainsentence5. E.Thissentenceiswritteninahostileandinappropriatetone. MEDIUM 33.CA.Thisisnotagoodanswerbecauseitcontainsinformationthatreadersalreadyknow,and highlychargedlanguageisnotagoodvehicleforpassingalonginformation. B.Thisisunrelatedtothewordsinquestion. C.Thisisthebestanswerbecausethewordsaremeanttoshockanddisturbthereader. D.Thissuggeststhattheauthoristryingtobeobjective,butthewordsinquestionare anythingbutobjective. E.Thisdescribesthepurposeofthewholeessay,nottheparticularwordsinquestion. HARD 34.AA.Thisintroducesthemainideaoftheparagraph.Itisthebestanswer. B.Becausethischoiceraisesanissuenotmentionedintheremainderoftheparagraph,itis notagoodtopicsentence. C.Thiscontainsanideanotdiscussedintheparagraph,whichfocusesonhowanimals behaveincaptivity,notonlivingconditionsatthezoo. D.Thiscontainsadanglingmodifier.ThephraseLivinginthezooshouldmodifyanimals insteadofconditions. E.Thiscontainsafrivolousclichéthatisinconsistentwiththetoneoftheessay HARD 35.BA.Althoughgrammatical,thischoicereversesthecause-effectrelationshipstatedbythe originalsentences. B.Thisaccuratelyandeconomicallyconveystheideasoftheoriginalsentences. C.Lackingamainverb,thischoiceisasentencefragment.The–ingformsofverbs(growing, placing,being)maynotbeusedasthemainverbwithoutahelpingverb,asinwasgrowing,is placing,andsoon. D.ThisisgrammaticallycorrectbutstylisticallyawkwardbecausethesubjectTheyistoofar removedfromtheverbwould…survive. E.Thisisvirtuallymeaninglessbecausethecause-effectrelationshiphasbeenreversed. MEDIUM SECTION3—IMPROVINGSENTENCES 1.DA.Danglingparticiple.ThephrasethatbeginsHavingamothershouldmodifyRosieinstead oftheviolinandthepiano. B.Danglingparticiple.ThephrasethatbeginsHavingamothershouldmodifyRosieinstead ofviolinandpiano. C.Danglingparticiple.ThephrasethatbeginsHavingamothershouldmodifyRosieinstead oftwoinstruments. E.Awkwardness.Thephraselearnedtheplayingofisawkwardlyexpressed. MEDIUM 2.CAsentencefragment.The–ingformofaverb(causing)maynotbeusedasthemainverbora clauseorsentencewithoutahelpingverb,asiniscausing,willbecausing,andsoon. B.SameasA. D.Mixedconstruction.Thesecondclauseisnotgrammaticallyrelatedtothefirstclause. E.Idiomerror.ThephrasetobecomeordinarilyisnotstandardEnglish. MEDIUM 3.BA.Tenseshift.Thesentence,castinthepresenttense(doesnothave),shiftstothefuture conditionaltense(wouldhavetobe). C.Pronounreference.Thepronounitdoesnotrefertoanyspecificnounorotherpronoun. D.Sentencefragment.Thesecondclauseofthecompoundsentencelacksamainverb.The– ingformofaverb(being)maynotbeusedasthemainverbwithoutahelpingverb(isbeing, wasbeing,etc.). E.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. MEDIUM 4.DA.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionbeginningwiththis,ifmeanttobeacomplete sentence,lacksamainverb.The–ingformofaverb(forcing)maynotbeusedasthemain verbwithoutahelpingverb(isforcing,willbeforcing,etc.). B.Tenseshift.Thesentence,castinthepresentperfecttense(hasbeen)shiftstothepasttense. C.Faultyverbform.The–ingformofaverb(forcing)maynotbeusedasthemainverb withoutahelpingverb(isforcing,willbeforcing,etc.). E.Pronounreference.Thepronounitfailstorefertoaspecificnounorotherpronoun. MEDIUM 5.AB.Subject–verbagreement.Productsisplural;isissingular. C.Subject–verbagreement.Productsisplural;producesissingular. D.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. E.Noun–verbagreement.Productsisplural;includesissingular. MEDIUM 6.EA.Faultycomparison.Thenumberof…pennantsisbeingcomparedtotheBostonRedSox,an illogicalcomparison. B.Faultycomparison.Thenumberof…pennantsisbeingcomparedtotheBostonRedSox, anillogicalcomparison. C.Faultycomparison.TheBostonRedSoxteamisbeingcomparedtothenumberofYankee pennants,anillogicalcomparison. D.Subject–verbagreement.ThesubjectMakingissingular;theverbshowisplural. MEDIUM 7.AB.Faultycomparison.Illogically,mathematicsiscomparedtoAmericanstudents. C.Faultyparallelism.Coordinateelementsinacomparisonmustbeinparallelform. D.Wordiness.Althoughgrammaticallycorrect,theconstructioniswordy. E.Mixedconstruction.Theconstructionisnotgrammaticallyrelatedtotheearlierpartofthe sentence. HARD 8.DA.Pronounreference.Thepronountheyreferstoimmigrantswhenitismeanttoreferto restrictions. B.Pronounreference.Thepronountheyreferstoimmigrantswhenitismeanttoreferto restrictions. C.Incompleteconstruction.Theconstructionlacksanountogowiththeverbhave… multiplied. E.Mixedconstruction.Thephrasesincemultipliedhasnogrammaticalconnectionwiththe previouspartofthesentence. HARD 9.EA.Faultycoordination.Tomakethesentencemoreeffective,thesecondclause,becauseit containsinformationofsecondaryimportance,shouldbesubordinatedtothefirstclause. B.Misplacedmodifier.Onlyshouldmodifyfamouscomposers…insteadofRussian. C.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. D.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionlacksamainverb. HARD 10.EA.Misplacedmodifier.Moveeithertofollowintended.Thenaddtobeforeabolish. B.Idiom.Incontext,thephraseaboutwhichisnotstandardEnglish. C.Parallelismerror.Coordinateelementsmustbeinparallelform.Challengingisnotinthe sameformastoabolish.Useorabolishing. D.Parallelismerror.Coordinateelementsmustbeinparallelform.Achallengeisnotinthe sameformasoritabolished.Useanattempttoabolish. HARD 11.AB.Pronounshift.Becausethesentenceiscastwiththeimpersonalpronoun(one),thesecond personpronounyoushouldnotbeused. C.Pronounshift.Becausethesentenceiscastwiththeimpersonalpronoun(one),thesecond personpronounyoushouldnotbeused. D.Idiomerror.Thestandardidiomisintheevent. E.Awkwardness.Theconstructionnecessaryforanyonetowriteisclumsilyworded. MEDIUM 12.CA.Pronounreference.Thepronounthemfailstorefertoanyspecificnounorotherpronoun. B.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. D.Pronounreference.Thepronounthemfailstorefertoanyspecificnounorotherpronoun. E.Incompleteconstruction.Theconstructionlacksanountogowiththeverbwas. HARD 13.BA.Idiom.Thephraseofwhichisnonstandardusagewhenreferringtoasingularnoun. C.Awkwardness.Theconstructionareofappealisawkwardlyworded. D.Sentencefragment.Theconstructionbeginningwiththeappealoflacksaverb. E.Commasplice.Acommamaynotbeusedtoseparatetwoindependentclauses. HARD 14.DA.Misplacedmodifier.Thephrasethatbeginsmostlyusingtortureshouldmodifycountries, notU.N.Commission. B.Misplacedmodifier.Thephrasethatbeginsmostlyusingtortureshouldmodifycountries, notcitizens. C.Danglingmodifier.TheconstructionbeginningPunishingcitizensshouldmodify countries,notU.N.Commission. E.Danglingmodifier.TheconstructionbeginningPunishingcitizensshouldmodify countries,notU.N.Commission. HARD

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