Download Improving your Sentence Structure

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Improving your Sentence
Structure
If you want to improve your academic writing skills it is helpful if you have an
understanding of possible problems with sentence structure, so that you can
not only recognize effective sentences, but write them too.
A.
KINDS OF SENTENCES
There are three kinds of sentences:
1.
SIMPLE – A simple sentence consists of one main (or independent)
clause.
A clause is defined as a group of words containing both a subject and a verb.
An independent clause is a clause that can stand alone as a sentence.
Therefore, to be complete, a simple sentence must have at least one subject
and one verb:
The man went to the store.
subject verb
It may have a compound subject and/or a compound verb:
The man and his son went to the store and bought some milk.
compound subject
compound verb
2.
COMPOUND – A compound sentence has at least two main (or
independent) clauses, connected by a coordinating conjunction (and,
but, or, nor, for, so, yet). Each clause must have its own subject and
verb.
The man went to the store, and the storekeeper sold him some milk.
subject 1 verb 1
subject 2
verb 2
Sentence Structure updated by JCM 26/11/04 SLC page 1
3.
COMPLEX - a complex sentence has one main (or independent)
clause and one or more dependent (or subordinate) clauses.
A dependent clause contains both a subject and a verb, but cannot
stand alone as a sentence
Dependent clauses are connected by subordinating conjunctions such
as because, that, what, while, who, which, although, if, etc.
Dependent clauses can function in the sentence as nouns, adjectives
or adverbs:
She would not go to the party although she was invited several times.
independent clause
dependent clause
4.
TYPES OF CLAUSES
a.
Noun clauses function as nouns in the sentence and can be used as
subjects, objects, predicate nominatives and objects of prepositions.
What is most important is your work. (subject)
That critic writes that Al Purdy is the best poet in Canada. (object)
You are what you eat. (predicate nominative)
She is very suspicious about what he said. (object of preposition
about)
b.
Adjectival clauses start with a relative pronoun such as who, which
or that and function as adjectives. The relative pronoun refers to a
noun which usually directly precedes it.
The woman who bought the red dress is my aunt.
That dress, which is my favourite, cost a lot of money.
The problem that he solved was a difficult one.
Adjective clauses can be either essential or non-essential.
Essential
The word that must be used without commas to introduce a clause that
is essential to the sentence, as in the third example in 4b above.
Non-essential
The word which introduces a non-essential clause, which is preceded
and followed by a comma, as in the second example in 4b. The clause
is described as non-essential as it is not needed to identify the subject.
The bull that is in the pasture belongs to Joe.
This suggests that, of all the other bulls on the farm, the writer wants to
identify the one in the pasture as belonging to Joe.
Sentence Structure updated by JCM 26/11/04 SLC page 2
The bull, which is in the pasture, belongs to Joe.
This suggests that there is only one bull on the farm, so the writer is
giving non-essential, additional information by mentioning that it is in
the pasture.
•
Some grammar textbooks suggest which can be used for either essential
(without commas) or non-essential (with commas) information, whereas
others recommend using which for only non-essential information.
•
A pronoun must always refer specifically to one noun (or noun phrase).
The word which is often used incorrectly.
INCORRECT
Your essays should be
submitted on time, which is
one way to be a successful
student.
CORRECT
One essential requirement is
the timely submission of
essays, which is also one way
to be a successful student.
In the incorrect sentence above, the word which refers to neither time nor
essays. It is therefore better to rewrite the sentence.
c.
Adverbial clauses function as adverbs in the sentence, modifying
verbs, adjectives, or adverbs. They may tell how, why, when, where,
etc. Conjunctions used include although, after, if, because, while,
since, whether.
Stan is happy because he got a high mark for his history exam.
Although Bob is intelligent, he does not work very hard.
Sentence Structure updated by JCM 26/11/04 SLC page 3
B.
PROBLEMS WITH SENTENCES
Can you identify what is wrong with the following sentences and correct the
mistakes? The answers are at the end of the leaflet and include details on
which problem is addressed by each particular sentence, so that you can refer
to the relevant section.
Exercise 1
a)
The university was closed it was a public holiday.
b)
It was raining heavily. The students were late for class. The lecturer
was also late. Therefore the lecture was short. Usually it lasted for two
hours.
c)
Hardly nobody attended the meeting.
d)
We wrote the report and give it to the lecturer.
e)
Because it was on the top floor of the library.
f)
The research assistant who is in the office next door is investigating the
use of English words which are used in Portuguese as it is spoken in
Portugal rather than in other countries.
g)
The study of approaches to learning involves detailed research and
you look at all available evidence.
h)
Looking into the hole, the researchers found a wombat.
i)
As we crossed the courtyard you could see the museum.
j)
All the new students passed the course, but they failed.
k)
The student won a scholarship, and he came to Australia.
l)
Every nurse know that he or she will have to give a ward report at
some stage.
PROBLEMS EXAMINED
1.
SENTENCE FRAGMENTS
A sentence fragment is not a complete sentence. It usually lacks either a
subject or a verb or both.
INCORRECT
For example, three dogs and a goat.
(no verb – what did the animals do?)
INCORRECT
Studying too hard at the weekends.
(no subject – who was studying?)
CORRECT
For example, three dogs and a goat
would make your life more
interesting.
(verb added)
CORRECT
Jack was studying too hard at the
weekends.
(subject added)
Sentence Structure updated by JCM 26/11/04 SLC page 4
2.
RUN-ON SENTENCES: Fused sentences and comma splices
A run-on sentence is one in which two or more independent clauses are
inappropriately joined. Remember that the length of a sentence does not
determine whether it is a run-on sentence; a sentence that is correctly
punctuated and correctly joined can be extremely long. In a fused sentence,
clauses run into each other with no punctuation:
INCORRECT
The experiment failed it had been left unobserved for too long.
The error of placing only a comma between two complete sentences, without
a connecting word such as and, but, because, or without correct punctuation,
is called a comma splice:
INCORRECT
The experiment failed, it had been left unobserved for too long.
To correct a fused sentence or a comma splice error, you can use either a full
stop, semi-colon, colon, coordinating conjunction or subordinating
conjunction:
CORRECT
The experiment failed. It had been left unobserved for too long.
The experiment failed; it had been left unobserved for too long.
The experiment failed: it had been left unobserved for too long.
The experiment had been left unobserved for too long, so it failed.
The experiment failed because it had been left unobserved for too long.
A comma splice also occurs when commas are used before conjunctive
adverbs (therefore, however, nevertheless, moreover, etc.) connecting two
sentences.
INCORRECT
The experiment had been left
unobserved for too long,
therefore it failed.
CORRECT
The experiment had been left
unobserved for too long;
therefore, it failed.
The experiment had been left
unobserved for too long.
Therefore it failed.
When the conjunctive adverb is within the clause rather than at the beginning,
place it between commas:
CORRECT
He wasn’t prepared to defend a client who was guilty; he could be
persuaded, however, to accept a bribe.
Sentence Structure updated by JCM 26/11/04 SLC page 5
3.
LOOSE SENTENCES
A loose sentence may result if you use too many imprecise connectives, such
as and, when other conjunctions would be more exact:
INCORRECT
John had a weight problem, and he dropped out of school.
What is the intended connection here: John had a weight problem so he
dropped out of school, or because he dropped out of school? We cannot tell.
A loose sentence also results from the inclusion of many phrases and clauses
in no particular order:
INCORRECT
In the event that we get the contract, we must be ready by 1 June
with the necessary personnel and equipment to get the job done,
so with this end in mind a staff meeting, which all group managers
are expected to attend, is scheduled for 12 February.
Writing the passage as several sentences may be more effective:
CORRECT
In the event that we get the contract, we must be ready by 1 June
with the necessary personnel and equipment to get the job done.
With this end in mind a staff meeting is scheduled for 12 February.
All group managers are expected to attend.
4.
CHOPPY SENTENCES
A succession of short sentences, without linking words, results in choppy
sentences.
INCORRECT
The results we got were
inconsistent.
The program
obviously contains an error. We
need to talk to Paul Davis. We will
ask him to review the program.
CORRECT
We will ask Paul Davis to review
the program, since it gave us
inconsistent results.
Sentence Structure updated by JCM 26/11/04 SLC page 6
5.
EXCESSIVE SUBORDINATION
Excessive subordination is not an effective substitute for choppiness.
INCORRECT
Doug thought he was prepared
although he failed the examination
which meant that he had to repeat
the course before he could
graduate.
6.
CORRECT
Although Doug thought he was
prepared, he failed the examination.
This meant that he had to repeat the
course before he could graduate.
PARALLEL STRUCTURE
Parts of a sentence which are in sequence must all follow the same
grammatical or structural principle.
INCORRECT
I like to swim, to sail, and rowing.
7.
CORRECT
I like to swim, to sail and to row. OR
I like swimming, sailing and rowing.
DANGLING OR MISRELATED PARTICIPLES
A dangling or misrelated participle occurs when the noun or pronoun that a
participle phrase should qualify does not appear in the sentence, or appears
in the wrong place.
INCORRECT
After trying in vain to contact you by phone, this letter
will explain the reasons for the decision.
Who was trying in vain? You or the letter? The correct version of the
above sentence is:
CORRECT
I tried in vain to contact you by phone, so this letter
will explain the reasons for the decision.
In the following example it is not clear which noun is being qualified by the
participle phrase:
INCORRECT
Flying high in the sky, I saw the plane.
Who is flying, I or the plane? The following examples are more precise:
Sentence Structure updated by JCM 26/11/04 SLC page 7
CORRECT
I saw the plane (which was) flying high in the sky.
As I was flying high in the sky, I saw the plane.
8.
DOUBLE NEGATIVES
If we use two negatives in a sentence we are actually expressing a positive,
whether we mean to or not.
INCORRECT
She could not run no faster.
This actually means she could run faster.
The following sentences are correct:
CORRECT
She could not run any faster.
She could run no faster.
Words that have negative implication such as never, nowhere, only, scarcely,
hardly and barely should not be used with another negative.
INCORRECT
Don’t never forget these rules or you won’t go nowhere.
There are two double negatives in the above sentence, so that it really
means ‘Forget these rules or you will go somewhere’!
The following sentence is correct:
CORRECT
Don't ever forget these rules, or you won't go anywhere.
9.
MISSING ANTECEDENT
A pronoun is meaningless, or at least ambiguous, if the antecedent (word or
words that the pronoun represents) is not made clear.
INCORRECT
The whole soccer team apologised but he was too angry to
listen.
Sentence Structure updated by JCM 26/11/04 SLC page 8
Who was too angry?
CORRECT
The whole soccer team apologised to the referee, but he
was too angry to listen.
The pronoun it is the one most likely to have a missing antecedent.
INCORRECT
He became ill and died of it.
(. . . of what? Bronchitis? Water on the knee?)
CORRECT
He became ill with pneumonia and died of it.
10.
SHIFTS IN POINTS OF VIEW
Awkward and confusing sentences frequently result from unnecessary shifts
in person, number, tense or voice.
a
Person
INCORRECT
As y o u went up Red Hill w e could see the whole of
Canberra spread out below us.
CORRECT
As we went up Red Hill we could see the whole of
Canberra spread out below us.
As you went up Red Hill you could see the whole of
Canberra spread out below you.
b
Number
INCORRECT
Each workman has his instructions and know how to
take safety measures.
CORRECT
Each workman has his instructions and knows how to
take safety measures.
Sentence Structure updated by JCM 26/11/04 SLC page 9
c
Tense
INCORRECT
The soccer coach called us over and then suggests a 5 km run.
CORRECT
The soccer coach called us over and then suggested a 5 km run.
(adapted from Improving your Sentence Structure 1993, The Learning Resource Centre,
University of Guelph, reprinted for the ACUE, University of Adelaide, by permission of the Coordinator, Learning Resource Centre, University of Guelph, 8 January 1995)
Answers to exercise 1
The numbers in brackets refer to the relevant section in the ‘Common
Problems’ pages.
a)
b)
c)
d)
e)
f)
g)
h)
i)
j)
k)
l)
The university was closed; it was a public holiday. or
The university was closed. It was a public holiday. or
The university was closed because it was a public holiday.
(2) Run-on sentence
Because it was raining heavily the students were late for class and so
was the lecturer. Therefore the lecture, which usually lasted for two
hours, was short. (4) Choppy sentence
Hardly anybody attended the meeting. (8) Double negative
We wrote the report and gave it to the lecturer. (10c) Tense problem
Because it was on the top floor of the library, they had to use the lift.
(1) Sentence fragment
The research assistant next door is investigating the use of English
words in European Portuguese. (5) Excessive subordination
The study of approaches to learning involves detailed research and an
examination of all available evidence. (6) Parallel structure
While they were looking into the hole, the researchers found a
wombat. (7) Misrelated participle
As we crossed the courtyard we could see the museum.
(10a) Shift in person
All the new students passed the course, but the others failed.
(9) Missing antecedent
The student won a scholarship, so he came to Australia.
(3) Loose sentence
Every nurse knows that he or she will have to give a ward report at
some stage. (10b) Shift in number
Sentence Structure updated by JCM 26/11/04 SLC page 10