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College Prep
4-8-13
YAY IMAGE
GRAMMAR!!!!!

 Refresher…..
 Participles?
 Definition and examples
 Participial Phrases????
 Definition and examples
Painting with Participles

 Participle: a verbal that functions as an adjective
 Verbal: a verb form that functions in a sentence as a
noun or modifier rather than as a verb.
 A more simplified way to explain a participle is: “an
ing verb tagged on the beginning or end of a
sentence.”
Participial example

 “Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamond-scaled
snakes attacked their prey.”
 The participles evoke action. Suddenly, we can see
the snakes coiling and slithering. We feel PART of
the experience.
Participial Phrases

 Participial Phrases: a participle along with any
modifiers that complete the image.
 Modifiers: A word, phrase, or clause that functions
as an adjective or adverb to limit or qualify the
meaning of another word or word group.
Combo example and
explanation

 “Hissing their forked red tongues and coiling their
cold bodies, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked
their prey.”
 Both methods (single participles and participial
phrases) paint more detailed picture.
 Using the single participles creates rapid movement,
while expanded phrases add details at a slower, but
equally intense pace.
Examples

 “Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder
and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the
ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than a
minute, watching the blood trail away and the
steady movement of the water against his hand as
the boat moved.”
 -Ernest Hemingway
Still Refresing

 Absolutes???
 Definition and examples
 Absolute Phrases???
 Definition and examples
Absolutes

 Absolute: a two-word combination-a noun and an
ing or ed verb added onto a sentence.
 Absolutes utilize verbs; therefore, this brush stroke
also adds action to an image.
Examples

“The cat climbed the tree.”
Does this work? Does it show or tell?
Good example

 “Claws digging, feet kicking, the cat climbed the
tree.”
 Was this better? Show or tell?
Absolute phrases

 Absolute phrases combine an absolute and a
modifier.
 Modifiers: A word, phrase, or clause that functions as
an adjective or adverb to limit or qualify the meaning
of another word or word group.
 Absolute phrases are to absolutes as participial
phrases are to participles.
Absolute Phrases
Examples

 “Feet trembling on the snow covered rocks, the mountain
climber edged along the cliff.”
 Which part of the sentence is the absolute and which
is the modifier?
 Which is the noun that the absolute phrase
adjective(fies)?
Yep…still going

 Appositives???
 Definition and Examples
Image Grammar #3
Painting with

Appositives
 An appositive is: A word or phrase that clarifies the
previous word or phrase and expands meaning.
Created to make a statement more clear.
 For our purposes: a noun that adds a second image
to a preceding noun.
 Like the absolute, the appositive expand details in
the reader’s mind.
Why is this helpful
now?

 Well, all image grammar is helpful in all form of
writing, but…..
 Painting with appositives give clarity to your topic.
This is especially helpful when writing a writer
needs to make their subject especially clear
For Example

 By adding a second image to the noun raccoon in the
sentence “The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs,” the
writer/artist can enhance the first image with a new
perspective.
 IS THIS BETTER:
CONT

 “The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys eating turtle eggs.”
 Scavenger follows raccoon in the sentence; it’s set of
with commas and enriches the image.
 The appositive ZOOMS in on the subject, making the
image more complete.
EVEN MORE
DETAILS?!

 Yes, tis true. You can add more!
 “The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who roams lake
shorelines in search for food, enjoys eating turtle
eggs.”
 Pretty rad!!!
…Which of these sounds
better?!?!

 “And then, suddenly, in the very dead of the night,
there came a sound to my ears, clear, resonant, and
unmistakable.”
 OR
 “And then, suddenly, in the very dead of night, there
came a clear, resonant, unmistakable sound to my
ears.”
Your opinion is wrong…

 The first one is RAD!!!! This is how it is done.
 It is how the masters do it.
 But what is this called and how do we do it?!?!?!?!?!
Now for the new junk n
stuff

 “Adjectives out of order”
 First off…what is an adjective????
Adjectives out of order

 Adjectives out of order amplify the details of an image.
 In an effort to pack as many details into an image as
possible, we tend to overload our descriptions with too
many adjectives:
 “The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose charged the
intruder.”
 Also, these adjective are “in-order”
A.O.O.

 EXIT SLIP….YOU NEED ONE
 So get out a piece of paper ya’ll
 Lets come up with some phrases in which the
adjective are in order (lets focus on using three)
 PIC #1
 Pic #2
A.O.O.

 When we want to avoid a three-in-a-row string or
overloading an image, we can use adjectives out of
order.
 We can change our elementary sentence with two
easy steps.
Steps

 Step 1: Keep one adjective in place
 Step 2: Shift the other two adjectives AFTER the
noun
Example

 Lets take our sentence: “The large, red-eyed, angry bull
moose charged the intruder.”
 Step 1: Keep the first adjective where it is and move the noun
up next to it:
 “The large bull moose…”
 Step 2: Shift the other two adjectives BEHIND the noun:
 “The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the
intruder.”
Why is this better??

 The effect creates a spotlight and intensifies the
image, giving it a profound rhythm instead of the
elementary cadence of the original.
 Simply put, like all our image grammar, this makes
you sound MAD smart…
Lets look at how the
masters do er

 “The pavilion was a simple city, long and
rectangular.”
 Could be: “The pavilion was a simple, long, and
rectangular city.
 “I could smell Mama, crisp and starched, plumping
my pillow, and the cool muslin pillowcase touched
both my ears as the back of my head sank into all
those feathers.”
How
th
8
graders do er

 “The woman, old and wrinkled, smiled upon her
newborn great-grandson with pride.”
 “The boxer, twisted and tormented, felt no
compassion for his contender.”
 “The cheetah, tired and hungry, stared at the gazelle,
which would soon become his dinner.”
Your turn

 Rewrite your first two descriptions…and write an new one
for the third
 Pic 1
 Pic 2
 Pic 3
 I wanna hear ‘em!!!
YOUR TURN AGAIN!!

 Using your body paragraphs out alcohol, rewrite a
sentence using adjectives out of order.
 Share it up….
 We want to hear what your sentence was originally
AND what it is now.
Painting with Action
Verbs

 Verbs: action words…words that indicate movement
 By eliminating PASSIVE VOICE and reducing “to be” verbs,
writers can energize action images.
 Verbs of passive voice communicate no action.
 Typically, passive voice verbs require the help of a “to be”
verb.
First…what are “to be”
verbs

 “To be” verbs:
 is
 am
 are
 was
 were
 be
 being
 been
What’s Wrong With
This?

 1. The “to-be” verbs: is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been are
state of being verbs, which means that they unduly claim a
degree of permanence. For example, “I am hungry.” For
most Americans, hunger is only a temporary condition.
 2. The “to-be” verbs claim absolute truth and exclude other
views. “Classical music is very sophisticated.” Few would
agree that all classical compositions are always sophisticated.
What’s Wrong With
This?

 3. The “to-be” verbs are general and lack specificity. A
mother may tell her child, “Be good at school today.” The
more specific “Don’t talk when the teacher talks today”
would probably work better.
 4. The “to-be” verbs are vague. For example, “That school
is great.” Clarify the sentence as “That school has
wonderful teachers, terrific students, and supportive
parents.”
 5. The “to-be” verbs often confuse the reader about the
subject of the sentence. For example, “It was nice of you to
visit.” Who or what is the “It?”
Passive Voice Examples

 “The runaway horse was ridden into town by an old, whitewhiskered rancher.”
 “The grocery store was robbed by two armed men.”
 Notice how the word “by” signals the noun performing the
action. Passive voice can weaken images by freezing the
action.
 How could we fix these?????
 Write them on your exit ticket.
Fixes

 We swap out our “to be” verbs (“was ridden” and
“was robbed”)
 “The old, white-whiskered rancher rode the
runaway horse into town.”
 “Two armed men robbed the grocery store.”
More passive voice

 Even when not used as a part of a passive voice, “to be”
verbs slow the action and tend to link complements that
TELL. (SHOW DON’T TELL!!!!)
 We can improve our writing (“effective word choice”) when
we replace as many “to be” verbs as possible.
 Action verbs replace still photos with motion pictures.
 “The gravel road was on the left side of the barn.”
 “The gravel road curled around the left side of the barn.”
Our turn

 Change our passive sentence into and active
sentence using action verbs.
 “The biker was in the air.”
 Pic #1
Our turn

 Change our passive sentence into and active
sentence using action verbs.
 “The car is on fire.”
 Pic #2
Our turn

 Change our passive sentence into and active
sentence using action verbs.
 “The cop was killed by the explosion.”
 Pic #3
But….

 Not ALL “to be” verbs can be eliminated…if we
cannot easily replace our “to be” verb, maybe it
belongs in the sentence.