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VILLAGE COUNSELING CENTER Basic Sexual Development in Children – Quick Reference (From: Sexualized Children, Gil and Johnson) Pre-School (0-4 yrs.) Limited Peer Contact Latency (7-12 yrs.) Increased Peer Contact Increased Peer Contact Experimental Interactions Experimental Interactions Mooning Inhibition Disinhibition/ Inhibition Touching Self/Others (10-13 yrs.) Self-Exploration Self-Stimulation (random) Latency/ Preadolescence Young School-Age (5-7 yrs.) Disinhibition: Streaking Ability to masturbate to ejaculation Adolescence (12-15 yrs.) (18+) Digital/ Vaginal/ Oral Intercourse Dry Humping Experimentation – kissing/petting Touches/rubs own genitals (random) Watches, pokes Shows Genitals Bathroom words: poo-poo, pee-pee, tushie … Play house (Mom/Dad) Plays doctor (imitative) May insert/stop with pain Test parent response Touches self (specific) Watches, asks Inhibition (privacy) Repulsed by/drawn to opposite sex Tell dirty jokes Plays house Kissing, holding hands May mimic/practice Giggling and Potty words Touches self/others Mooning Exhibitionistic Kissing/dating Petting Touches others’ genitals Dry humping May use sexual terms without understanding ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 4001 Newberry Road, Suite E- II • Gainesville, FL 32607 • Phone (352) 373 - 8189 • Fax (352) 373 - 8190 VILLAGE COUNSELING CENTER Parental Guidance: Probably one of the most critical factors in child sexual development is the level of parental guidance. Parents play an important part in instilling values about sexuality in their children. When parents view sex as dirty, inappropriate, or secretive they may set rigid and restrictive limits on self-exploration, language, questions, or curiosity considered healthy in children. When children are punished, chastised, or humiliated for their sexuality, they may associate sex with shame or guilt. Children need an open environment in which they can ask questions and learn about sexuality. If they can’t find that at home, they frequently designate their peers as educators. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 4001 Newberry Road, Suite E- II • Gainesville, FL 32607 • Phone (352) 373 - 8189 • Fax (352) 373 - 8190 VILLAGE COUNSELING CENTER Appropriate vs. Inappropriate Sexual Behavior GREEN LIGHT . . . YELLOW LIGHT . . . RED LIGHT OK . . . . . . Caution, Pay Attention . . . . STOP! GREEN LIGHT BEHAVIOR (Expected, Normal Behavior although still need limits) Most sexual behavior considered normal in childhood involves either periodic solitary activity or similar age peers or siblings, with no coercion, occurring within the cultural norms of society. These behaviors may still need limits or intervention by the caretaker/s but are not consider pathological. Playing doctor or house Occasional masturbation, no penetration Imitating adult seduction such as flirting or kissing Dirty words or jokes within cultural or peer group norm Mutual showing of body parts by peers Conversations with peers about reproduction and genitals YELLOW LIGHT BEHAVIOR (Cause for Concern/Possible Intervention Needed) Preoccupation with sexual themes (especially sexual aggression) Sexually explicit conversation with peers Sexual innuendo/teasing/harassment/embarrassment of others Attempts to expose other’s genitals (e.g. pulling up skirts, pulling down pants) Sexual graffiti (especially chronic and or impacting others) Precocious sexual knowledge and/or activity Single occurrences of peeping, exposing, obscenities, pornographic interest Preoccupation with masturbation Mutual masturbation/group masturbation Simulating foreplay with dolls, toys, peer with clothing on (petting, French kissing) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 4001 Newberry Road, Suite E- II • Gainesville, FL 32607 • Phone (352) 373 - 8189 • Fax (352) 373 - 8190 VILLAGE COUNSELING CENTER RED LIGHT BEHAVIOR. (Requires adult supervision, confrontation, and possible therapeutic intervention) Touch the genitals of others Using force to expose others genitals or body parts Sexually explicit conversations with significantly younger/older children Chronic obscenities Induce fear/threats of force to coerce sexual activity Sexually explicit proposals/threats including written notes Repeated or chronic peeing/exposing/pornographic interest Compulsive masturbation/interrupting tasks to masturbate Masturbation by girls that includes penetration Simulate intercourse with dolls, peers, animals Oral, vaginal, anal penetration of children, adults, animals dolls Force touching of genitals, genital injury or bleeding without accidental cause Simulate intercourse with peers with clothing off WHEN TO BE ESPECIALLY CONCERNED Adults should be especially concerned with sexual behavior when it meets one of the following categories: A child appears preoccupied with sexual themes for extended periods, often with confused or anxious affect or if child appears secretive, anxious, or confusedabout sexual behaviors. A child is angry, violent, or forceful in his or her sexual behavior toward others, is using objects, or is inserting objects or fingers in other children. A child compulsively engages in sexual behaviors, does not seem to enjoy the activity but keeps doing it, or seems to be unable to stop. A child is engaged in inappropriate age related sexual activity or if sexual activity includes intercourse or oral sex between young children, or if a child attempts sex with animals. A child is involved in sexual activity with a child of a large age difference. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 4001 Newberry Road, Suite E- II • Gainesville, FL 32607 • Phone (352) 373 - 8189 • Fax (352) 373 - 8190