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6/25/2013
Focus
Starting the Writing Process
Melody Montgomery
•
Read the instructions carefully.
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Brainstorm, outline, and diagram ideas.
•
Expand outline into sentences, and link ideas with
transitions.
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Work on daily (plan for 4-6 months of writing and
preparation for grant proposals).
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Plan for editing and submission time.
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Review throughout.
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Write and re-write: get feedback, edit, and proofread.
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Do not worry about your first draft(s).
Focus
Today’s Session
Making Your Ideas Clear
Focus – Structure Your Writing.
Tie paragraphs together to tell a story.
Precision – Unravel Nouns.
Use transition words to link ideas.
Concision – Activate Sentences. Avoid
Define terms, even if you think they are known.
Redundancy.
Revision – Writing IS re-writing.
Avoid long sentences (keep each at 15-20 words).
Breakdown ideas.
Keep the subject close to the verb.
Avoid using the same words over and over.
Focus
Structure of a paragraph
The 1st
sentence is the
most important
Focus
Contains the
main idea of
the paragraph.
Provides
the reader a
‘bucket’
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Focus
Structure of a paragraph
Contents
Focus
Transitions
For continuing a common line of reasoning
consequently, furthermore, additionally, also,
To change line of reasoning
however, on the other hand, but, yet, nevertheless, despite
Supports
1st
sentence
Contrast and Comparison
contrast, conversely, instead, likewise, on one hand, similarly
Emphasis
above all, chiefly, with attention to, especially, particularly, singularly
Water in
the bucket
Exemplifying
chiefly, especially, for instance, in particular, markedly, namely, including
Exception
aside from, barring, beside, except, excepting, excluding, exclusive of, save
Focus
Structure of a paragraph
Last sentence Handle
Focus
Transitions cond.
Consequence
accordingly, as a result, consequently, for this reason, hence
Generalizing
as a rule, as usual, for the most part, generally, usually
Summary or
evaluation of
information
Illustration
for example, for instance, for one thing, as an illustration, as an example,
Similarity
comparatively, coupled with, correspondingly, identically, likewise, similar
“Taken
together, these
data point to…”
Restatement
in essence, in other words, namely, that is, that is to say, in short, in brief
Sequence
at first, first of all, to begin with, in the first place, at the same time, for now,
Focus
Focus
Use transition words to link ideas.
Tell a clear and interesting story that
emphasizes your focus. Structure
sentences to stress your key points.
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Precision
Focus
Stress Position
Subject = Old Information
Verb = Action
Stress Position = New Information
Examples:
Although the treatment is highly effective, it has
significant side effects.
Although the treatment has significant side effects, it
is highly effective.
Long Compound Noun Strings or “Noun
Stacks”
Be cautious when using long strings of nouns;
can form multiple meanings.
Unraveling:
• Properly use hyphens.
• Read the phrase backwards.
• Use prepositions to break into modifying
units.
Focus
Expletive constructions
• Avoid expletive
constructions
Precision
Unraveling Noun Strings/Noun Stacks
• neuron-specific autophagy-deficient mice
• mice deficient in neuron-specific autophagy
• They begin with there are/is
or it is
• Be careful when using
it/they/etc. Is it clear what it
is referring to?
• monocyte secreted HIV-related stimuli
• HIV-related stimuli secreted by monocytes
• LC-MS/MS-defined target concentrations
• target concentrations defined by LC-MS/MS
Precision
Use Parallel Verb Tense
• We will be testing our hypothesis using
innovative methods to examine the data
after we have analyzed it quantitatively.
Precision
• Using innovative methods, we will
thoroughly test our hypothesis, examine the
data, and quantitatively analyze our results.
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Precision
Precision
Comma Usage
Magnitude v. Elevation
• Can use in place of parentheses.
higher = elevation
increased = more
• Cytokines (small cell-signaling protein molecules) pair to these receptors.
• Cytokines, which are small cell-signaling protein molecules, pair to these …
• Use before ‘which’
Logic v. Time
although, but, whereas = logic
since, as = time
because = logic
subsequently = time
consequently = logic
• Use before conjunction separating two complete
statements. Note: ‘however’ is not a connection
• Use after transition words (e.g., Furthermore, Next,)
• Use to separate nouns (DNA, RNA, and tRNA)
• Serial comma: In American English the serial comma is standard
in most non-journalistic writing and follows the Chicago Manual of
Style.
Precision
Precision
Singular v. Plural
phenomena = plural
phenomenon = singular
data = plural
datum = singular
criteria = plural
criterion = singular
Affect and Effect
affect = verb
effect = noun
Compliment and Complement
Compliment = Positive Statement
Complement = Adds to
Which & That
Which follows a comma and introduces non-essential
clauses
•The transmembrane protein CD22, which is a negative regulator of
cellular signaling …
That does not follow commas. Introduces essential clauses
•By examining the pathway that negatively regulates cellular signaling, …
i.e. & e.g.
i.e. = id est. That is.
•Nucleic acids (i.e., DNA and RNA)
e.g. = exempli grati. For example.
•Macromolecules (e.g., nucleic acids)
Precision
Precision
Hyphen: Punctuation Rules
Capitalizing Job Titles
Used for compound noun phrases
General Rule: Capitalize title when it
precedes the name, and do not capitalize
the title if it follows the name.
• Use between nouns of equal importance (eyeopener)
Helpful link:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/c
apitals.htm
• Use to link two nouns or words that modify
another noun (e.g., real-time experiment, wellrun practices)
• Use between two numbers spelled out (e.g.,
twenty-four)
•
Note, modifiers ending in ‘ly’ are not typically hyphenated.
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Revision
Concision
Avoiding Redundancy
Hyphens: Clarify Longer Clauses
Three-hundred-year-old trees: An indeterminate number of trees that are 300
years old.
Three hundred-year-old trees: Three trees that are 100 years old.
Three-hundred year-old trees: 300 trees that are one year old.
Disease causing poor nutrition: A disease that causes poor nutrition
Disease-causing poor nutrition: Poor nutrition that causes disease
Multiple extra cellular signals: Many additional cellular signals
Multiple extra-cellular signals: Many signals that are outside the cell
Cancer causing mutagenesis: Cancer that causes mutagenesis
Cancer-causing mutagenesis: Mutagenesis that causes cancer
•Past History
•Final outcome
•Repeat again
•Actual facts
•Refer back
•Absolutely essential
•Basic fundamentals
•Close proximity
•Desirable benefits
•Entirely eliminate
•Still persists
http://grammar.about.com/od/words/a/redundancies.htm
Concision
Phrases that You Can Omit
• Has a tendency to
In the event that
• In the process of
• All things
considered
• Has the ability to
• As far as __ is
concerned
Concision
• In light of the fact
that
• By means of
• For all intents and
purposes
• It seems that
• In the nature of
• At the same time as
Concision
Let the Subject Do the Work
Eliminating Wordiness
Is aware of/has
knowledge of …
Knows
• Keep subject and verb close.
Our theory, which was adopted using the basic principles of human
healthcare ethics that contains four principles, is a grounded theory
Is taking …
Takes
approach.
Our grounded theory approach adopts the four basic principles of human of
Are indicative of …
Indicate
Are suggestive of …
Suggest
In the event …
If
healthcare ethics.
• Use active verbs and activate sentences.
We will develop a cell line - rather than “a cell line will be developed”
The ICP data show - rather than “It can be seen from the ICP data…”
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Concision
Use Strong Action Words
Examples:
accelerate, compile, compose, delineate, describe,
detect, determine, develop, elevate, evaluate, expand,
Concision
Converting Passive to Active Voice
The ABC pathway is blocked by elevating
the expression of the XYZ protein.
formulate, generate, hypothesize, illustrate, implement,
induce, inflict, instigate, interpret, isolate, maintain,
manipulate, perform, placate, predict, prepare, prescribe,
produce, promote, prompt, propel, protect, reduce,
repair, research, support, synthesize, target, test,
Increased expression of the XYZ protein
blocks the ABC pathway.
transfer, undertake, utilize, yield …
Examples of active verbs: http://www.cvisual.com/film-techniques/writer-action-verblist.pdf
Concision
Reduce Prepositions
Original: An understanding of these recurring cytogenetic
changes has led to the molecular dissection of specific
chromosomal regions and has resulted in the isolation
and cloning of various proto-oncogenes
Revision: Because we better understand these recurring
cytogenetic changes, specific chromosomal regions
have been molecularly dissected resulting in isolation
and cloning of various proto-oncogenes.
Concision
Converting Passive to Active Voice
There were a number of questions regarding
the experimental design and several
concerns were pointed out by the group
members.
The group members raised a number of
questions and some concerns regarding
the experimental design.
Concision
Exercise: Converting Passive to Active Voice
Passive Sentence:
•
(Noun) (Verb phrase) By (Noun)
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The true subject is at the end
Concision
Avoid Weak Qualifiers
If, Try, Hope, May, Might, Should, Could,
Believe, Possibly
1. Find the true subject.
2. Find the verb.
use EXPECT.
3. Organize into subject-verb structure.
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Revision
Concision
Break things
into smaller
chunks
Poor structure
diverts readers’
energy
Editing and Proofreading Tips
• Edit and proofread in blocks of time. Allow your self to step
Avoid difficult,
compound
sentences
away and look at fresh.
Don’t put your
reader to sleep
• Try changing the look and formatting of your document.
• Use a highlighter to mark the changes that you made for printed
Write in
clear,
simple
sentences
edits.
• Create a timeline – schedule time to write/practice
Revision
Checklist
Read out loud.
Replace/unravel long noun phrases.
Is your train of thought clear (correct modifiers and
prepositions)?
Check sentence variety (impact – short sentence).
Check that you do not use the same words and
phrases over and over (thesaurus.com).
Precise/unambiguous word choices.
Revision
BEFORE
At this point in time, we
cannot ascertain the reason
as to why such phenomena
occur.
In light of the fact that
certification is required, we
consider it irrelevant to inquire
regarding this aspect of
one’s background given that
It has been addressed in the
screening process.
REVISED
It is unknown why such
phenomena occur.
Review…
Structuring your writing
1.
Positions of emphasis
2.
Let the subjects do the work
3.
Paragraph organization
Activating verbs
Because the screening
process requires proof
of certification, it is not
necessary to collect this
information.
1.
Use active voice
2.
Strong verbs
3.
Avoid nominalization
Eliminating wordiness
1.
Prune the redundant
2.
Reduce weak qualifiers
3.
Avoid clichés and empty generalities
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Email-address: [email protected]
Phone: 402.559.4132
http://www.unmc.edu/research_editorial.htm
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