Download NONVERBAL CONCERNS IN MEDIATION

NONVERBAL CONCERNS IN MEDIATION
Preliminary Considerations
 Mediation should be _____
 Parties should be shown respect & equality
 Environment should be _______________
Definition of Nonverbal Communication
 “All the ways persons communicate in other than the use of words.”
 ______________ (NV cues are infinite)
 “you cannot not communicate”
 Parties attend to each other’s NV cues
 Parties attend to the mediator’s NV cues
 Mediator must attend to the parties’ NV cues
 NV is based on ____________________
 Generally __________________
 NV communicates feelings (anger, impatience, boredom, embarrassment,
confusion, anxiety, insecurity, etc.)
Additional point: All messages contain __________ and ______________
components; the emotional is mainly nonverbal
Verbal & Nonverbal
 _________________ each other
 Verbal (low in _________________)
words
articulate ideas
 Nonverbal (high in isomorphism)
emotions (anger with clenched fist)
reinforce the verbal [uh huh]
substitute for verbal [facial expression: “I’m confused, angry,
embarrassed, powerful”]
punctuate verbal [slap on table to add importance to a point]
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Note: NV generally operates at a low awareness level
Voice Set
 Age, gender of speaker
 Physical condition
 Psychological condition
 Calmness
 Anxious
 Concept of self
 Confident voice [Barbara Walters]
Vocalizations (non-word sounds)
 Giggling (not common in mediation)
 Yawning (sign of boredom, tension)
 Uh huh (agreement)
 Hmmm, ahm
 Crying (possible in family mediation)
 Laughing (releasing tension)
 Mediator should have a sense of humor to release tension
 Mediator should interpret laughter (embarrassment)
Supra-segmentals
 A ______________ is a word
 How words are said
 Pitch (high to low voice)
 Stress (_____________ of voice)
 Juncture
 Trail off up, trail off down
“What are we having for dinner, mother”
“you’re going home”
 Connecting words
Lighthouse keeper
Maresea. . .
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Note: Mediator’s vocal tone should be warm, calm, and business-like, yet
informal
Silence
 Persons/cultures view silence differently
 Some see silence as a sign of acceptance
 Some see silence as showing respect
 Others see silence as indecision, weakness or a lack of interest
 Some are intimidated by silence
Note: Mediators should detect various uses of silence and adjust accordingly
 Quiet persons may require more NV cues inviting them to speak
Perspective
 Mediators should avoid drawing ___________________ from isolated
nonverbal cues; don’t over-generalize, let a NV cue join with other NV
cues and words
 A teen with spiked hair is not necessarily a philosophical rebel
 Arms crossed does not necessarily mean rigidity
 A combination of verbal and nonverbal cues may be reason to probe for
underlying needs/interests
 Mediators need to attend to their own NV cues
 Their NV cues might be copied by the parties
Edward T. Hall,
The Silent Language
“Some of the points I make may. . .
NONVERBAL VISUAL
Space (Proxemics)
E.T. Hall says “Space speaks”
 Interpersonal distance used in mediation
 Usually arm’s length or 1½ - 4 feet
 There are cultural variations (later)
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Mediation location
 Should be neutral
 No party should have the “home court advantage”
 Formal location: Government office
 Informal location: Restaurant, Retreat Center
Note: Caucus changes location, will often change communication
Personal bubble, 1 ½ - 2 feet
 _________________ if violated
Seating arrangement
 Angle of chairs
 Shape of table (rectangle, round)
Color (Colorics)
 Color of objects, clothes, etc.
 Background color
 Note: __________ and ______________ associated with feelings of
tranquility and safety [ref: Lusher Color Test]
 Mediator concerns
 Default to professional attire (perhaps too much power dressing may
alienate)
 Disallow gang colors (prior notification)
 Hold mediation in calm colored room
Objects (Objectics)
 Props
 Props can stimulate creativity (flip chart)
 Props might stimulate calmness (potted plant)
 Props might generate humor (tap a water glass when. . .)
 Mediator status (badge, power dressing)
 Mediator’s status should not inhibit comfort
 Number of persons (watch out for “ganging up”)
Hint: Have parties bring symbol (object) of dispute to discard [B. Modinik]
Facial expression (Pictics)
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Highly informative in US; more so in Italy, less so with Native
Americans.
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Eyes, eye brows & mouth are most informative
Some pictics
happy
grief
sad
mischief
dismay
intensity
anger
determined
Eyes, Eye Contact (mediator can regulate communication)
 Can encourage participation
 When averted, can _________ communication
 Can communicate ____________
 __________ to speak
 Check on lying (direct eye contact)
 Power (stare)
 May be a power tactic of a party
 Eyeball rolling; glazing over (bored, not listening, scorn)
 A common teen strategy
Body, Body Language (Kinesics)
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Posture
 Usually sitting in mediation (erect, slumping)
 Mediator may stand to assert control
The “Flinch” (caught by surprise)
 “John, I noticed that you flinched when Mary mentioned _______.
Would you like to elaborate?”
Hint: Mediator should never flinch
Walk: meek walk [Mr. Rogers], arrogant walk [Saddam]
Note: Movement about the mediation room might stimulate new thinking
Head nods (agreement, understanding, warmth)
Hands neatly folded (contrite, passive, follow the mediator)
Fingernail biting (nervous, bored)
Hands playing with face (calming anxiety)
Hand-ringing (frustrated)
Arms crossed over chest (inflexible, impatient, angry)
Hand gestures (handshake, finger pointing, gripping chair)
 Agreements are often sealed with a handshake
NONVERBAL OTHER
Time, timing (Chronemics)
 E.T. Hall says, “Time talks”
 Lateness (M. should be punctual; parties can be five minutes late)
 Ensure equal talking time (equal caucus time?)
 Time goes slow for parties not in caucus
 Negotiation phases: early, middle, ending
 Expect exaggerated claims in early phase
 Deadlines can facilitate agreement
 Length of a meeting (break mediation into shorter meetings)
 Time of day: in business, persons most alert 9 – 11 and 2 – 4
 Worst time for husband/wife communication, 5 – 6:30 pm
Note: Mediator must manage the time (return from caucus, return from
breaks)
Touch (Haptics)
 Can communicate sincerity
 Must be appropriate
 Handshake is safe and socially acceptable, shows goodwill
 Other touching by mediator is touchy
 also difficult to touch both equally
 may appear like counseling
Smell (Olfactics)
 Credibility (dental office should smell like a dental office)
 Pleasing smell can be a calming stimulus
 Avoid distracting odors (open a window)
Hint: Mediator is responsible for environment
Hint: opt for equal NV
 Equal vocalizations (uh huh)
 Equal handshaking
 Equal distance
 Equal talking time
 Equal chairs for parties (equal height)
 Equal eye level (parents & children should sit when mediating)
 Equal amount of eye contact
 Equal caucus time
 Show equal gesture of kindness (lending pen, etc)
 Show equal respect for parties: safety & comfort
Cultural variations (be careful not to stereotype; always exceptions)
 Latins are taught not to look authority figures in the eye
 Latins have different sense of interpersonal space (closer)
 Latins like to bring support persons
 Latins have different sense of time
 have something to do for those who show up on time
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Asians tend to raise pitch of voice when upset
Some cultures have elaborate ceremonies to celebrate settlement
 meals, drink, banquets
Some cultures seal agreement with exchange of objects, rituals
Hint: Mediator should “expect different expectations”
Concluding Comments
 NV is very important and should be given serious consideration
 As a mediator, show consistency between your own verbal and NV
 Mediator should model the communication style he/she would like the
parties to adopt
 Mediator should become nonverbally and culturally aware
References:
Folberg, J.P., & Taylor, A. (1984). Mediation. San Francisco, CA: JosseyBass.
Hall, E.T. (1973). The Silent Language. Garden City, NY: Anchor.
Madonik, B. (2001). I hear what you say, but what are you telling me? San
Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Moore, C. W. (1996). The mediation process: Practical strategies for
resolving conflict. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.