Download Attraction and Mate Selection Theories

Attraction and Mate-Selection
Theories
How do we select the person we marry?
• Most marriages in Canada are a result of freechoice mate selection where people are
attracted to one another, fall in love, and
make the decision to marry.
• There are several theories that can be used to
explain the attraction between individuals
and the unconscious choices people make
when they choose a spouse or partner.
Evolutionary Psychology and Attraction
• Evolutionary psychology attempts to explain that the
origins of sexual attraction can be traced back to our
prehistoric ancestors.
• It argues that attraction is really the result of
unconscious factors/motivations.
• Therefore, only the
individuals with the best
strategies/genes
(evolutionary advantages)
survived and reproduced
eventually passing on these
traits to the next generation.
• American psychologist David
Buss argues that humans
alive today have inherited
the unconscious mating
strategies that made our
ancestors successful.
• Anthropological evidence from around the
world suggests that there are certain basic
attraction preferences.
• Evolutionary psychologist Helen Fisher
identified the following:
1. Women seem to prefer men who had resources and
who could be good providers for themselves and
their children.
2. Men preferred women who could bear and nurture
healthy infants.
• These preferences have carried into
the modern world.
• Research indicates that people are
still attracted to people with who the
can have/raise the most successful
children (although they probably
don’t see it that way).
• For example, men might be attracted
to someone who is physically
appealing, younger, with shiny hair,
clear skin, and a curvaceous figure
(these are usually markers of good
health and fertility).
• These are common characteristics of
female beauty around the globe.
• Women on the other hand are more likely to
be attracted to an older mate with good
financial resources.
• In short, this theory holds that men are
attracted to women who appear fertile and
women are attracted to good providers (while
still seeking other qualities that enable them
to form satisfying/enduring relationships).
**An evolutionary perspective also tries to explain strategies
such as mate-poaching, mate-guarding, sexual jealousy…
Social Homogamy
• In today’s modern world, choosing a mate for
biological/reproductive reasons alone is less
important.
• We often choose mates for psychological and
social factors i.e. proximity.
• For example, we generally meet, date, marry
individuals who we live close to, go to school
with, work with…
• Social homogamy explains
how individuals are often
attracted to (or end up with)
partners from similar social
and cultural backgrounds.
• Research has shown a high
correlation between age, race,
ethnic background, religion,
socio-economic status, and
political views .
• Individuals probably share
social, cultural, religious,
economic values and lifestyle
expectations.
• First-generation immigrants tend to value
others who share their cultural values;
second-generation immigrants are more likely
to marry someone from a different culture
than themselves.
• Factors such as socio-economic status,
political views, and education are important
significant factors of social homogamy in
diverse societies like Canada.
Ideal Mate Theory
• The contemporary image of marriage assumes
that the relationship is based on social
compatibility and romantic love.
• The ideal mate theory attempts to explain
attraction from a symbolic interactionist
perspective.
• The suggestion is that individuals’ unconscious
image of the ideal mate forms their
perception of the meaning of certain factors,
based on how they see others and
themselves.
• The theory suggests that everyone has an unconscious
ideal (of a perfect mate) with/from which they
compare a person.
• This unconscious ideal informs the opinion/judgement
of whether or not others are ‘attractive’.
• Supports notions of social homogamy in that
unconscious ideals (positive and negative) are formed
by interacting with others and pervious experiences
(friends, family, media…)
• Therefore, the ideal image sets the unconscious
standards that influences an individual’s judgment of
potential mates.
• In the competition for mates, it is fortunate that not
everyone find the same individuals attractive.
Attraction as Fair Exchange
• Although individual preferences determine
who is attractive as a potential mate, this does
not guarantee that the feeling will be
reciprocated.
• Competition for mates has always been a
problem.
• As some people find out, having qualities that
suggest an ideal match does not guarantee
that two people will be attracted to one
another or that the relationship will last.
• The exchange theory helps to answer the
question “what do they see in him/her/each
other?”
• People assess the resources that they have to
offer (physical attractiveness, educational
attainment, wealth, social status…) and look
for potential mates who might be interested in
these qualities or who share similar ones.
• Globally, younger women marry older men.
• In Canada the average age difference is two
years while in Iran it is 5 years.
• This trend can be explained using aspects of
evolutionary psychology as well as exchange
theory.
• Older men who have proven resources are
seen as more desirable.
• Younger women are considered more sexually
desirable.
Romantic Love
• Love and commitment are desirable aspects of
relationships/marriage.
• Even if other desirable qualities were present,
most people would not marry someone
without these conditions.
• Although love has been described for
thousands of years i.e. in poems…important
questions still persist: What is love?
What is Love?
• In order to determine the qualities of
romantic love and distinguish it from other
forms of affection, American psychologist
Robert Sternberg conducted a study of
individual who claimed to be in love and
analyzed their responses.
• He determined that romantic love has three
aspects that set it apart from other forms:
Passion, slow development, and increased
commitment to maintaining relationship.
Science of Love
• The development of romantic love can be
measured and explained in biological terms.
• The sudden and dramatic feelings of passion
when people fall ‘head over heels’ in love
results from high levels of natural
amphetamines i.e. phenylethylamine (PEA)
released by the hypothalamus.
• These chemicals makes people feel more alert,
accompanied by increased heart rate, flushed
face, and rapid breathing.
• Psychologist who study the physiological basis
of human behaviour refer to this emotional
state as limerence.
• Michael Liebowitz, author of the book The
Chemistry of Love, explains that limerence is
similar to fear in its physical aspects.
• After a while, amphetamines are replaced by
the hormone oxytocin.
• With this change, the aroused but exhausting
state of limerence is replaced by calm and
satisfaction (less exciting but more enduring).
• From an evolutionary perspective, love is
advantageous to human groups.
• Passion draws people together with a desire
to reproduce, but the intimacy and
commitment that follow allow people to
maintain relationships over the long-term.