Download Test 16 Writing Answers

Test 16: Explanations to Writing
1. Answer & Explanations
Choice (C) results in an error in parallelism. The first part of
the correlative conjunction “not only” requires the second half
“but also” to follow, but instead the coordinating conjunction
“and” is used. Moreover, the modifier “also” is misplaced.
Choice (A) is correct. It avoids the errors of the other options
by using the present perfect progressive tense to indicate an
action that began at a specific time in the past (“last
September”) and is ongoing.
Choice (E) results in an error in parallelism. The first part of
the correlative conjunction “not only” requires the second half
“but also” to follow, but instead the coordinating conjunction
“and” is used. Moreover, the modifier “also” is misplaced.
Choice (B) results in an error in verb tense. The simple
present tense “works” is not consistent with the past-tense
action of the sentence (“last September”).
4. Answer & Explanations
Section 5
Choice (C) results in an error in verb tense. The present
progressive tense “is working” cannot be used to refer to an
action that began at a specific time in the past (“last
September”) and is ongoing.
Choice (D) results in an error in verb tense. The future
progressive tense “will be working” is not appropriate to
describe an action that began in the past and is ongoing.
Choice (E) results in an error in verb tense. The simple past
tense “worked” is not appropriate to describe an action that
began in the past and is ongoing.
2. Answer & Explanations
Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the errors of the original by
providing a main verb, “have compiled,” and by beginning the
main clause with “juniors and seniors,” which can be logically
modified by the opening phrase “To help freshmen and
sophomores in selecting their courses.”
Choice (A) results in faulty sentence structure and an error in
modification. The sentence has no main verb (only the
participle “compiled”). In addition, “candid reviews . . . seniors”
cannot logically be modified by the opening phrase “To help
freshmen and sophomores in selecting their courses.”
Choice (B) results in faulty sentence structure and an error in
modification. The sentence has no main verb (only the
participial phrase “being compiled”). Moreover, “candid
reviews . . . seniors” cannot logically be modified by the
opening phrase “To help freshmen and sophomores in
selecting their courses.”
Choice (C) results in a sentence fragment. Two dependent
clauses (“To help . . . courses” and “to compile . . . seniors”)
are joined by the coordinating conjunction “and” without a
main verb to complete the action of the sentence.
Choice (E) results in faulty sentence structure and an error in
modification. The sentence has no main verb (only the gerund
“compiling”). Moreover, the prepositional phrase “with . . .
instructors” cannot logically be modified by the opening phrase
“To help freshmen and sophomores in selecting their courses.”
3. Answer & Explanations
Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the parallelism error of the
original by correctly completing the correlative conjunction
begun by “not only” with “but also,” and by following each part
with parallel verbs (“benefit” and “foster”).
Choice (A) results in an error in parallelism. The first part of
the correlative conjunction “not only” requires the second half
“but also” to follow, but instead the coordinating conjunction
“and” is used.
Choice (B) results in an error in parallelism. The first part of
the correlative conjunction “not only” requires the second half
“but also” to follow, but instead the phrase “as it” is used.
Choice (A) is correct. It avoids the errors of the other options
by providing a relative clause (“where deer roam freely”) to
modify “areas.”
Choice (B) results in awkward and unidiomatic phrasing. The
separation of the adverb “freely” from the verb it is meant to
modify (“roamed”) creates an awkward and unidiomatic
phrase.
Choice (C) results in an illogical statement. With “freely
roamed by deer” bracketed by commas, the sentence seems
to suggest that deer roam freely in all areas (i.e., everywhere)
rather than in certain areas.
Choice (D) results in an illogical statement. With “in which
there are deer that roam freely” bracketed by commas, the
sentence seems to suggest that deer roam freely in all areas
(i.e., everywhere) rather than in certain areas.
Choice (E) results in faulty word choice and an error in
modification. The relative pronoun “which” does not indicate a
place (as “where” would), and the adjective “free” cannot
modify the verb “roam.”
5. Answer & Explanations
Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
providing a relative clause (“which typically hovers . . .”) to
modify the noun “cost.”
Choice (A) creates redundancy and flawed sentence structure.
The phrase “the price of” is redundant with “the cost.” But even
with “the price of” removed, the sentence is a run-on: two
independent clauses (“it . . . $25” and “many consumers . . .
out?”) are joined by only a comma.
Choice (B) creates redundancy and flawed sentence structure.
The phrase “a price” is redundant with “the cost.” But even
with “a price” removed, the sentence is a run-on: two
independent clauses (“typically it hovers . . . $25” and “many
consumers . . . out?”) are joined by only a comma.
Choice (D) involves awkward, wordy phrasing. The phrase “in
that it” can be replaced by the relative pronoun “which.”
Choice (E) results in a pronoun error and faulty sentence
structure. The plural pronoun “they” does not agree with its
singular antecedent, “the cost.” Moreover, the sentence is a
run-on: two independent clauses (“they typically . . . $25” and
“many consumers . . . out?”) are joined by only a comma.
6. Answer & Explanations
Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
replacing the awkward and ambiguous “many were known
there to live” with the clear “many of the people there were
known to live.”
Choice (A) produces awkward phrasing. The word “many” is
used as an indefinite pronoun without a clear referent, and the
word “there,” which is an adjective modifying “many,” is
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Test 16: Explanations to Writing
incorrectly placed, wrongly suggesting that it is an adverb
modifying “known.”
9. Answer & Explanations
Choice (B) produces an illogical pronoun reference. There is
nothing in the sentence to which the plural pronoun “they” can
logically refer.
Choice (D) creates a comma splice and illogical phrasing. Two
independent clauses (“The article . . . people” and “they
were . . . lived”) are joined by only a comma. Moreover, “many”
is used as an adjective instead of as a pronoun, leaving “they”
without a logical referent.
Choice (E) results in an illogical statement. A thing, “The
article,” cannot be “knowing that many people lived there
much as their ancestors . . . had lived.”
Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the subject-verb agreement
error of the original by using the past-tense verb “met,” which
agrees with the singular subject of the sentence, “proposal,”
and is needed to indicate a time in the past (“1787”).
Choice (A) results in an error in subject-verb agreement. The
plural verb “were” does not agree with the singular subject of
the sentence, “proposal.”
Choice (B) results in a sentence fragment. The participial
phrase “having been” cannot serve as the main verb of the
sentence.
Choice (C) results in faulty sentence structure. The
unnecessary pronoun “it” intrudes between the subject of the
sentence, “proposal,” and the sentence’s main verb, “met.”
7. Answer & Explanations
Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the comma-splice error of the
original by providing a relative clause (“which . . . productions”)
that modifies the sentence’s main clause.
Choice (E) results in a pronoun error. The plural pronoun
“their” cannot logically refer to anything else in the sentence.
Choice (A) results in a comma splice. Two independent
clauses (“A poetic
form . . . monologue” and “it let him . . . productions”) are
joined by only a comma.
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
eliminating the redundant “and could happen in the future.”
Choice (C) results in a shift in verb tense. The present-tense
verb “lets” is not consistent with the past-tense action of the
sentence established by “was.”
Choice (D) results in faulty coordination. A semicolon cannot
be used to join an independent clause (“A poetic form . . .
monologue”) and a dependent one (“letting him . . .
productions”).
Choice (E) results in awkwardness and wordiness that
contribute to flawed sentence structure. The awkward, wordy
prepositional phrase (“by letting him do exploration of”) does
not logically modify anything in the sentence; it should be
replaced by the relative clause “which let him explore.”
8. Answer & Explanations
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
providing three parallel noun phrases to describe what
“Many . . . Romantic poets” believed in (“rebellion against
social conventions,” “the expression of strong emotions,” and
“the power of imagination”).
Choice (A) results in faulty parallelism. What follows “believers
in” should be parallel in structure. Instead, there is a noun
phrase, a verb phrase, and another noun phrase.
Choice (B) results in an error in verb tense and a lack of
parallelism. The present tense (“are”) is not appropriate to
indicate an action in the past (“eighteenth- and nineteenthcentury”). Moreover, what follows “believers in” should be
parallel in structure. Instead, there is a noun phrase, a verb
phrase, and another noun phrase.
Choice (C) produces a sentence fragment and an error in verb
tense, which result in an illogical statement. The sentence has
no main verb. Even if the verb “express” were placed properly
in the past tense, it could not serve as the main verb of the
sentence because of the comma preceding it.
Choice (D) results in faulty parallelism. What follows “believed
in” should be parallel in structure. Instead, there is a noun
phrase, an infinitive phrase, and another noun phrase.
10. Answer & Explanations
Choice (A) creates redundancy. The phrases “was imminent”
and “could happen in the future” mean the same thing. Only
one is needed.
Choice (B) creates redundancy. The phrase “in the future” is
unnecessary after the word “imminently.”
Choice (C) creates redundancy. The phrase “and happening
soon” is unnecessary after the phrase “will be imminent.”
Choice (D) creates an incorrect shift in verb tense. The relative
clause begun by “that” requires the verb “would be” to parallel
the sentence’s main verb, “should have realized.” Moreover,
the phrase “an imminent thing” is wordy and can be replaced
by the concise “imminent.”
11. Answer & Explanations
Choice (A) is correct. It avoids the errors of the other options
by using a subordinate clause introduced by “if” to concisely
describe the relationship among “Intimacy, love, and
marriage.”
Choice (B) is awkward and wordy. The entire phrase
“interrelated subjects . . . different” can be reduced to the more
succinct and precise “interrelated, yet different, subjects.”
Choice (C) produces ambiguous wording. It is not clear
whether the word “whereas” is intended to mean “while on the
contrary,” a definition that would not make sense in this
context, or “although,” a definition that would describe the
relationship among “Intimacy, love, and marriage.”
Choice (D) results in an illogical statement. It does not make
sense to say that “Intimacy, love, and marriage” are three
different things “when,” or exactly at the same time that, they
are interrelated.
Choice (E) exhibits wordiness. The participle “being”
unnecessarily interrupts the phrasing.
12. Answer & Explanations
America’s first roller coaster ride, which opened in 1884 at
Coney Island, Brooklyn, was capable of a top speed of only six
miles per hour. The error in this sentence occurs at (B), where a sentence
fragment is created. The sentence has no main verb. The
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Test 16: Explanations to Writing
conjunction “and” should be replaced with the singular verb
“was” to indicate that the roller coaster was “capable of a top
speed of only six miles an hour.”
There is no error at (A). The past-tense verb “opened” is used
appropriately to indicate an action completed in the past. In
addition, the preposition “in” properly introduces the
prepositional phrase (“in 1884”) that modifies the verb
“opened.”
There is no error at (C). The adjective “top” correctly modifies
the noun “speed.”
There is no error at (D). The adjective “only” appropriately
modifies the noun phrase “six miles per hour.”
There is no error at (A). The gerund “drying” properly serves
as the object of the verb “delays.”
There is no error at (C). The preposition “at” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“at which”) that modifies
the noun “rate.”
There is no error at (D). The singular present-tense verb
“loses” agrees with the singular noun “bread” and is consistent
with the present-tense verb “delays” and with the presenttense verb “increases” in the corrected sentence.
There is an error in the sentence.
16. Answer & Explanations
According to last week’s survey, most voters were
disappointed by legislators’ inability to work together on key
issues. There is an error in the sentence.
13. Answer & Explanations
The inflation rate in that country is so high that even with
adjusted wages, most workers can barely pay for food and
shelter. There is no error in this sentence.
There is no error at (A). The adverb “so” correctly modifies the
adjective “high,” and the “so . . . that” construction properly
expresses the result of the inflation rate’s being as high as it is.
There is no error at (B). The qualifier “even” appropriately
indicates the degree to which adjusted wages allow workers to
pay for food and shelter. In addition, the preposition “with”
appropriately introduces the prepositional phrase (“with
adjusted wages”) that modifies “workers.”
There is no error at (C). The adjective “most” correctly
modifies the noun “workers.”
There is no error at (D). The adverb “barely” correctly modifies
the verb “pay,” and the verb “can” is properly joined with the
verb “pay” to indicate what most workers can barely do.
14. Answer & Explanations
Over the past two years, apparel manufacturers have worked
to meet the revised federal standards for the design of
uniforms. The error in this sentence occurs at (C), where there is an
inappropriate verb form. The participle “meeting” should be
changed to “meet” so that the sentence’s main verb “have
worked” is properly joined with the infinitive “to meet” to
communicate what the manufacturers have worked to do.
There is no error at (A). The preposition “Over” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“Over the past two years”)
that modifies the verb “have worked.”
There is no error at (B). The plural verb “have” agrees with the
plural subject of the sentence, “apparel manufacturers.”
There is no error at (D). The preposition “for” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“for the design”) that
modifies the noun “standards.”
There is an error in the sentence.
15. Answer & Explanations
Storing bread in the refrigerator delays drying and the growth
of mold but increases the rate at which the bread loses flavor. The error in this sentence occurs at (B), where there is
subject-verb disagreement. The singular subject of the
sentence, “Storing,” does not agree with the plural verb
“increase.” The singular “increases” should be used instead.
The error in this sentence occurs at (C), where there is an
inappropriate verb form. The sentence has no main verb. The
participle “working” should be changed to the infinitive “to
work.”
There is no error at (A). The plural verb form “were
disappointed” agrees with the plural subject of the sentence,
“voters,” and the past tense is logical in this sentence (as
would be the present tense, “are disappointed”). In addition,
the preposition “by” properly introduces the prepositional
phrase (“by legislators’ inability”) that modifies “disappointed.”
There is no error at (B). The plural possessive “legislators’”
properly indicates that there is more than one legislator
“working together on key issues” and correctly indicates that
the sentence is discussing the inability of the legislators.
There is no error at (D). “On” is the idiomatic preposition to
follow “work together,” and the adverb “together” correctly
modifies the verb “work.”
There is an error in the sentence.
17. Answer & Explanations
When Marie Curie shared the 1903 Nobel Prize for Physics
with two other scientists—her husband Pierre Curie and Henri
Becquerel—she became the first woman to win the prize. The error in this sentence occurs at (C), where there is an
inappropriate verb form. The action of the sentence happens
at a specific time (in 1903) and does not continue to the
present, so the past progressive tense “had been” is not
appropriate. The simple past-tense verb “became” should be
used instead.
There is no error at (A). The relative pronoun “when” is used
correctly to refer to a time (“1903”), “Marie Curie” serves
properly as the referent of the pronoun “she,” which is the
subject of the sentence, and the past-tense verb “shared” is
used properly to indicate an action completed in the past.
There is no error at (B). The preposition “with” is used
appropriately to introduce the prepositional phrase (“with two
other scientists”) that modifies the verb “shared.”
There is no error at (D). The infinitive “to win” is used correctly
to indicate what Marie Curie was the first to do.
There is an error in the sentence.
18. Answer & Explanations
Every spring in rural Vermont the sound of sap dripping into
galvanized metal buckets signals the beginning of the
traditional season for gathering maple syrup. Page 3 of 9
Test 16: Explanations to Writing
The error in this sentence occurs at (C), where there is
subject-verb disagreement. The plural verb “signal” does not
agree with the singular noun “the sound.” The singular verb
“signals” should be used instead.
There is no error at (A). The preposition “in” properly
introduces the prepositional phrase (“in rural Vermont”) that
modifies the noun “spring.”
There is no error at (B). The participle “dripping” appropriately
modifies the noun “sap.”
There is no error at (D). The preposition “for” properly
introduces the prepositional phrase (“for gathering”) that
modifies the noun “season.”
There is no error at (C). The plural verb “are” agrees with the
plural noun “amounts,” and the adjective “visible” appropriately
modifies “amounts.”
There is no error at (D). The preposition “as” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“as smog”) that modifies
the adjective “visible.”
22. Answer & Explanations
The light emitted by high-intensity-discharge headlights is very
effective in activating the reflective paints of road markers,
thereby making driving at night safer. The error in this sentence occurs at (A), where there is
subject-verb disagreement. The plural verb “are” does not
agree with the singular noun “The light.” The singular verb “is”
should be used instead.
There is an error in the sentence.
19. Answer & Explanations
Those investors who sold stocks just before the stock market
crashed in 1929 were either wise or exceptionally lucky. The error in this sentence occurs at (D), where there is faulty
word choice. The adjective “exceptional” cannot modify the
adjective “lucky.” The adverb “exceptionally” should be used
instead.
There is no error at (A). The relative pronoun “who” properly
refers to the noun “investors.”
There is no error at (B). The past-tense verb “sold” is correctly
used to indicate an action completed in the past (“in 1929”).
There is no error at (C). The word “either” properly serves as
the first conjunction of the paired correlative conjunctions
“either . . . or.”
There is no error at (B). The preposition “in” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“in activating”) that
modifies the adjective “effective.”
There is no error at (C). The adverb “thereby” correctly
modifies the verb “making” and introduces the dependent
clause that modifies the rest of the sentence.
There is no error at (D). The preposition “at” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“at night”) that modifies
the gerund “driving.”
There is an error in the sentence.
23. Answer & Explanations
There is an error in the sentence.
During the nineteenth century, Greek mythology acquired
renewed significance when both poets and painters turned to
the ancient myths for subject matter. 20. Answer & Explanations
There is no error in this sentence.
Most of the sediment and nutrients of the Mississippi River no
longer reach the coastal wetlands, a phenomenon that has
adversely affected the region's ecological balance. There is no error at (A). The preposition “during” is correctly
used to indicate that Greek mythology “acquired renewed
significance” at some point during the nineteenth century.
There is no error in this sentence.
There is no error at (B). The relative pronoun “when” is used
correctly to refer to a time (“the nineteenth century”), and the
correlative conjunction “both” properly introduces the “both . . .
and . . .” construction used in the sentence’s main clause.
There is no error at (A). The adverbial phrase “no longer”
properly modifies the verb “reach.”
There is no error at (B). The adverb “adversely” correctly
modifies the verb “affected.”
There is no error at (C). The participle “affected” is properly
joined with “has” to indicate an ongoing action.
There is no error at (D). The phrase “the region” appropriately
refers to the area around the Mississippi River that the
sentence discusses, and the singular possessive “region’s” is
used properly to indicate that the sentence is discussing the
ecological balance of the region.
21. Answer & Explanations
Most major air pollutants cannot be seen, although large
amounts of them concentrated in cities are visible as smog. There is no error in this sentence.
There is no error at (A). The preposition “of” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“of them”) that modifies
the noun “amounts.” In addition, the plural pronoun “them”
correctly refers to the plural noun “air pollutants.”
There is no error at (B). “In” is the idiomatic preposition to
follow “concentrated,” and the participle “concentrated”
appropriately modifies the noun “amounts.”
There is no error at (C). The past tense “turned” is used
appropriately to indicate an action that was completed in the
past (“During the nineteenth century”). In addition, the
preposition “to” properly introduces the prepositional phrase
(“to the ancient myths”) that modifies the verb “turned.”
There is no error at (D). The preposition “for” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“for subject matter”) that
modifies the verb “turned.”
24. Answer & Explanations
The museum is submitting proposals to several foundations in
the hope of gaining funds to build a tropical butterfly
conservatory. The error in this sentence occurs at (D), where there is an
improper verb form that produces unidiomatic phrasing. The
infinitive “to gain” should be replaced with the phrase “of
gaining” to yield the idiomatic “in the hope of gaining.”
There is no error at (A). The singular verb “is” agrees with the
singular subject of the sentence, “museum,” and the participial
verb form “submitting” is used appropriately to indicate an
ongoing action.
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Test 16: Explanations to Writing
There is no error at (B). The preposition “to” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“to several foundations”)
that modifies the participial phrase “is submitting.”
Margulis’s theory” and “most biologists.” The phrase “the
theories of most biologists” should be used instead to indicate
that one theory is being compared with other theories.
There is no error at (C). “In” is the idiomatic preposition to
introduce the prepositional phrase (“in the hope of”).
There is no error at (A). The relative pronoun “that” properly
introduces the relative clause (“that evolution is a process . . .
organisms”) that modifies the noun “theory.”
There is an error in the sentence.
25. Answer & Explanations
In order for the audience to believe in and be engaged by a
Shakespearean character, the character has to come across
as a real person on the stage. There is no error at (B). The participle “involving” properly
modifies the noun “process.”
There is no error at (C). The singular verb “differs” agrees with
the singular subject of the sentence, “theory.”
The error in this sentence occurs at (C), where there is an
illogical pronoun reference. The plural verb “they” cannot
logically refer to anything in the sentence. The phrase “the
character” should be used instead, and the plural verb “have”
should be changed to the singular “has.”
There is an error in the sentence.
There is no error at (A). “In order” appropriately introduces the
complex preposition “In order for.”
The error in this sentence occurs at (D), where there is an
illogical pronoun reference. The plural pronoun “they” cannot
logically refer to the singular “each.” The singular pronoun “it”
should be used instead. In addition, the plural “were” should
be changed to the singular “was.”
There is no error at (B). The phrase “be engaged by” is
properly parallel to the phrase that precedes it (“to believe in”),
and the preposition “by” appropriately introduces the
prepositional phrase (“by a Shakespearean character”) that
modifies “engaged.”
There is no error at (D). The choice of “person” here is logical
because the sentence is describing the need for actors in
Shakespeare’s plays to act like real people, not like characters
in a play.
There is an error in the sentence.
26. Answer & Explanations
Most of the hypotheses that Kepler developed to explain
physical forces were later rejected as inconsistent with
Newtonian theory. The error in this sentence occurs at (D), where an
inappropriate preposition produces unidiomatic phrasing.
“Inconsistent to” is not an idiomatic phrase. The preposition
“to” should be replaced by the preposition “with” to yield the
idiomatic phrasing that Kepler’s hypotheses were rejected
because they were “inconsistent with” Newton’s theories.
There is no error at (A). The quantifier “Most” correctly serves
as a pronoun, and the preposition “of” appropriately introduces
the prepositional phrase (“of the hypotheses”) that modifies
“Most.”
There is no error at (B). The plural noun “hypotheses” yields
the plural phrase “Most of the hypotheses,” which serves as
the subject of the sentence and agrees with the plural verb
“were.” In addition, the relative pronoun “that” properly
introduces the relative clause (“that Kepler developed to
explain physical forces”) that modifies the noun “hypotheses.”
There is no error at (C). The preposition “as” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“as inconsistent”) that
modifies the verb “rejected.”
28. Answer & Explanations
The Empire State Building, the Sears Tower, the Canadian
National Tower—each of these structures was the tallest in the
world at the time it was built. There is no error at (A). The preposition “of” appropriately
introduces the prepositional phrase (“of these structures”) that
modifies “each.” In addition, the plural adjective “these”
appropriately modifies the plural noun “structures.”
There is no error at (B). The singular verb “was” agrees with
the singular subject of the sentence, “each.” The past tense is
appropriate because the sentence describes a condition that is
no longer true (each structure was, but no longer is, the tallest
in the world).
There is no error at (C). The superlative form “tallest” is
correctly used to indicate that more than two things are being
compared.
There is an error in the sentence.
29. Answer & Explanations
The cost of safely disposing of the toxic chemicals is
approximately five times what the company paid to purchase
them. The error in this sentence occurs at (D), where there is illogical
pronoun reference. The singular pronoun “it” cannot logically
refer to any noun in the sentence. The plural pronoun “them”
should be used instead to indicate that the toxic chemicals are
what was purchased.
There is no error at (A). The adverb “safely” correctly modifies
the participle “disposing.”
There is no error at (B). The singular verb “is” agrees with the
singular subject of the sentence, “the cost,” and the adverb
“approximately” correctly modifies the verb “is.”
There is an error in the sentence.
There is no error at (C). The relative pronoun “what” is used
appropriately to refer to a thing (the amount of money that the
company paid to purchase the chemicals), and the phrase
“five times” appropriately modifies “what.”
27. Answer & Explanations
There is an error in the sentence.
Lynn Margulis’s theory that evolution is a process involving
interdependency rather than competition among organisms
differs dramatically from the theories of most biologists. 30. Answer & Explanations
The error in this sentence occurs at (D), where there is an
illogical comparison. It does not make sense to compare “Lynn
Choice (A) is correct. The present sentence properly uses a
dependent clause (“Acclaimed as . . . of the century”) to
modify the subject of its independent clause, “Tanner.”
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Test 16: Explanations to Writing
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because it uses a semicolon
instead of a comma to join a dependent clause to an
independent clause.
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence
has no main verb.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence
has no main verb. Moreover, the dependent clause
(“Acclaimed as . . . of the century”), which should modify
“Tanner,” appears to modify “W. E. B. Du Bois.”
Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the dependent clause
(“Acclaimed as . . . of the century”), which should modify
“Tanner,” appears to modify either “W. E. B. Du Bois” or “it.”
31. Answer & Explanations
Choice (D) is correct. The resulting sentence uses “until” to
clearly identify what was pivotal about the date 1969: it marks
the end of the period in which Tanner’s work was “largely
forgotten” and the beginning of a period of “new interest.”
Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because the present sentence is
wordy and imprecise, linking the period during which Tanner’s
work was “largely forgotten” and the date when Tanner’s work
“aroused new interest” with the conjunction “and,” which does
not indicate that “the donation of one of his paintings to the
Smithsonian Institution” was a key event in causing the
change in recognition.
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence
awkwardly uses the phrase “even after that,” which should
refer to a fixed point in time or a specific event, to refer to an
unidentified period of time during which Tanner’s work
“remained” obscure. Moreover, “even after that” indicates that
Tanner’s work still was obscure after 1969, when in fact it
gained new recognition.
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence
uses the phrase “but even then” incorrectly, leaving the reader
unsure to what time the word “then” refers.
Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence
does not indicate clearly that the period during which Tanner’s
work remained largely forgotten ended with the 1969 donation.
32. Answer & Explanations
Choice (E) is correct. This grammatically sound sentence
maintains the formal tone and third-person point of view of the
paragraph.
Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because the sentence joins two
independent clauses with only a comma.
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the sentence uses the
first-person plural point of view, referring inappropriately to
“ordinary people like us.”
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because the sentence is vague,
using the phrase “had been sold” without specifying a time
period in which these sales took place.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the sentence claims that
people can “buy his paintings as a poster,” which is logically
impossible.
33. Answer & Explanations
Choice (B) is correct. The resulting sentence is “One of his
most famous works is the realistic painting ‘The Banjo
Lesson.’” This revision removes the awkward and
unnecessary phrase “by the name of.”
Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence,
“In contrast, one of his most famous works is a realistic
painting by the name of the ‘The Banjo Lesson,’” indicates a
contrast that is unsupported by the passage. Moreover, this
revision keeps the awkward and unnecessary phrase “by the
name of.”
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence,
“One is a realistic painting by the name of ‘The Banjo
Lesson,’” includes a vague pronoun reference to the previous
paragraph (“One”) and the awkward and unnecessary phrase
“by the name of.” Moreover, a key idea, that “The Banjo
Lesson” is a famous painting, is lost in this revision.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence,
“One of his most famous works had been a realistic painting
by the name of the ‘The Banjo Lesson,’” uses a verb tense
that is inconsistent with the rest of the paragraph, which
mainly describes the painting in the present tense. Moreover,
this revision implies the painting is no longer famous, which is
also inconsistent with the rest of the paragraph.
Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence,
“One of his works is a realistic painting by the name of the
‘The Banjo Lesson,’” keeps the awkward and unnecessary
phrase “by the name of” and omits an important piece of
information about the painting.
34. Answer & Explanations
Choice (A) is correct. The inserted sentence allows readers to
visualize the painting and identifies the figures in the painting
as grandfather and grandson. Thus, when “the boy and his
grandfather” are referred to later in the paragraph, the reader
understands the reference.
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because it fails to provide
important descriptive information about the painting or to
introduce the figures in the painting that are referred to later in
the paragraph.
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because it refers to figures in the
painting as “the man and boy,” when “a” should be used to
introduce the painting to readers who have not seen it.
Moreover, the inserted sentence does not identify the man and
boy as grandfather and grandson, information that is assumed
later in the paragraph.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because, in addition to providing
information of questionable relevance to the paragraph, it
makes the pronoun in sentence 8 (“It was inspired by . . .”)
difficult to process.
Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the introduction of the
plural noun “Portraits” before the singular pronoun “It” in
sentence 8 leads to confusion. Moreover, the inserted
sentence does not identify the man and boy as grandfather
and grandson, information that is assumed later in the
paragraph.
35. Answer & Explanations
Choice (A) is correct. The clause links the reference to
photography to the rest of the paragraph, explaining that the
type of realism evident in Tanner’s painting is different from
photographic realism.
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the clause introduces the
second-person pronoun “You” into a section of the paragraph
that is entirely in the third person. Moreover, the detail about
the music does little to link the reference to photography to the
rest of the paragraph.
Page 6 of 9
Test 16: Explanations to Writing
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence
interjects unrelated information about photography into a
discussion of Tanner’s painting.
Choice (D) results in an awkward and illogical statement. It
does not make sense to say that support can be deserved “by”
research.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the resulting sentence,
by using the word “As,” does not clearly indicate the contrast
between Tanner’s realism and photographic realism.
Choice (E) produces a pronoun error and results in an illogical
statement. There is nothing in the sentence to which the plural
pronoun “they” can logically refer. Moreover, it does not make
sense to say that support is deserved “in” research.
Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the new independent
clause, with its reference to “Some people,” introduces
irrelevant information.
Section 10
1. Answer & Explanations
Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
providing “that” to complete the “so . . . that . . .” construction,
in which the adverb “so” modifies the adjective “accomplished”
and the entire phrase (“so accomplished that . . . their help”)
indicates the result of amateur astronomers’ having become
so accomplished at what they do.
Choice (A) results in faulty coordination. Without “that” to
complete the “so . . . that . . .” construction, the relationship
between the accomplishments of amateur astronomers and
the reaction to those accomplishments by professional
astronomers is not clear.
Choice (B) results in faulty coordination and a comma splice.
Without “that” to complete the “so . . . that . . .” construction,
the relationship between the accomplishments of amateur
astronomers and the reaction to those accomplishments by
professional astronomers is not clear. Moreover, this choice
creates a comma splice: the independent clauses “amateur
astronomers . . . accomplished” and “also professional . . .
help” are joined only by a comma.
Choice (D) results in faulty coordination and a run-on
sentence. Without “that” to complete the “so . . . that . . .”
construction, the relationship between the accomplishments of
amateur astronomers and the reaction to those
accomplishments by professional astronomers is not clear.
Moreover, this choice creates a run-on sentence: the
independent clauses “amateur astronomers . . . accomplished”
and “therefore professional . . . help” are not separated by a
semicolon or an appropriate conjunction.
Choice (E) results in faulty coordination and illogical phrasing.
Without “that” to complete the “so . . . that . . .” construction,
the relationship between the accomplishments of amateur
astronomers and the reaction to those accomplishments by
professional astronomers is not clear. Moreover, it makes no
sense to say that “amateur astronomers have become . . .
accomplished when” (i.e., exactly at the same time as)
“professional astronomers . . . seek their help.”
2. Answer & Explanations
Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the sentence-fragment error of
the original by providing a main verb (“deserves”) to carry out
the action of the sentence.
Choice (A) results in a sentence fragment. The sentence has
no main verb, only the participle “deserving.”
Choice (B) results in a sentence fragment. The sentence has
no main verb, only the participle “being.”
3. Answer & Explanations
Choice (A) is correct. It avoids the errors of the other options
by using consistent verb tense and by avoiding unclear
pronoun reference.
Choice (B) results in an error in verb tense and faulty
coordination. The phrase “nutritionists have been urging,”
which indicates a recommendation, shows that a verb in the
subjunctive mood is necessary, but instead the simple present
“reduces” is used. Moreover, a semicolon is normally used to
join two grammatical elements of equal importance. In this
case, a subordinated which-clause is needed instead.
Choice (C) results in faulty word choice and unclear pronoun
reference. The idiomatic word to follow “its” in this context is
the noun “consumption,” not the gerund “consuming.”
Moreover, the referent of the plural pronoun “they” is unclear;
although “they” is closest to the noun “nutritionists,” it does not
make sense to say that nutritionists “have largely replaced
other, more healthful, beverages.”
Choice (D) results in awkward phrasing and illogical pronoun
reference. The awkward “urge about reducing public soda
consumption” should simply be “are urging the public to
reduce its consumption of sodas.” Moreover, since “soda” is
used as an adjective rather than as a noun, there is nothing in
the sentence to which the relative pronoun “which” can
logically refer.
Choice (E) results in a pronoun error and subject-verb
disagreement. The pronoun “which,” intended to modify
“soda,” incorrectly appears to modify “nutritionists.” Moreover,
the singular subject “soda” does not agree with the plural verb
“have.”
4. Answer & Explanations
Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
providing parallel verbs (“define” and “measure”) to complete
the verb phrase “how to” and modify “intelligence.”
Choice (A) results in awkward phrasing and faulty parallelism.
The awkward “what is” is not needed before “the definition,”
and no parallel phrase is provided for “the definition of
intelligence.”
Choice (B) produces faulty parallelism. No parallel phrase is
provided for “to define intelligence,” resulting in awkward
phrasing.
Choice (D) results in awkward, imprecise phrasing. It is not
clear what experts disagree about regarding “defining
intelligence”; nor is it clear whether experts disagree about
“measurement” alone or about defining measurement
(“defining intelligence as well as [defining] measurement”).
Choice (E) results in awkward, unclear phrasing. The pronoun
“it” is intended to refer to “intelligence,” but the lack of
parallelism between the phrases “the definition of intelligence”
and “measuring it” causes “it” to refer to the entire phrase “the
definition of intelligence,” which is illogical.
Page 7 of 9
Test 16: Explanations to Writing
5. Answer & Explanations
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the comma-splice error of the
original by changing one independent clause to a relative
clause (“that includes several senators”) that modifies
“committee.”
Choice (A) results in a comma splice. Two independent
clauses (“The charges . . . committee” and “it includes . . .
senators”) are joined by only a comma.
Choice (B) results in flawed sentence structure. An
independent clause (“The charges . . . committee”) is
connected to a dependent clause (“it including . . . senators”)
with a semicolon; a comma is needed instead. Moreover, the
dependent clause is awkward and illogical.
Choice (C) has inconsistent tenses, which results in an
illogical statement. It does not make sense to say that a
committee that is already conducting an investigation “will
include” several senators. If the committee has already
convened, then the senators are already part of the
committee.
Choice (B) results in a modification error and excessive
wordiness. The singular pronoun “it” cannot be logically
modified by the sentence’s opening phrase (“Though they had
earlier indicated otherwise”). Moreover, the wordy “decided
upon by” should simply be “decided by.”
Choice (C) results in a modification error and unidiomatic
phrasing. The noun phrase “the eventual decision” cannot be
logically modified by the sentence’s opening phrase (“Though
they had earlier indicated otherwise”). In addition, the
unidiomatic phrase “decision of the legislators was for
passage” should simply be “decision of the legislators was to
pass.”
Choice (D) results in a modification error and an error in verb
form. The possessive “legislators’ eventual decision” cannot
be logically modified by the sentence’s opening phrase
(“Though they had earlier indicated otherwise”). Moreover, the
participle “passing” should be replaced by the infinitive “to
pass.”
8. Answer & Explanations
Choice (D) results in a comma splice and an illogical pronoun
reference. Two independent clauses (“The charges . . .
committee” and “they . . . senators”) are joined by only a
comma. Moreover, the pronoun “they” cannot logically refer to
anything in the sentence.
6. Answer & Explanations
Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by using
the correct correlative conjunction “either . . . or” while
maintaining the parallelism between the two parts of this
correlative conjunction (“either because of . . . or because of”).
Choice (A) results in a lack of parallelism. The first part of the
correlative conjunction “either” requires the second half “or” to
follow; however, “but also” is used instead.
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the modification error of the
original by providing a noun phrase (“bubonic plague”) that
can be logically modified by the sentence’s opening phrase,
“Spread by rat fleas.”
Choice (A) results in a modification error. The noun phrase
“millions of people” cannot logically be modified by the
sentence’s opening phrase, “Spread by rat fleas.”
Choice (B) results in a sentence fragment. The sentence has
no main verb, only the subordinate clause introduced by “and.”
Choice (C) produces an unclear pronoun reference that results
in a modification error. With no clear antecedent, “this” cannot
logically be modified by the sentence’s opening phrase,
“Spread by rat fleas.”
Choice (B) results in a lack of parallelism. The first part of the
correlative conjunction “either” requires the second half “or” to
follow; however, “but also” is used instead. Moreover, the
grammatical unit that follows the two parts of a correlative
conjunction should be parallel, but they are not: “because of”
follows “either,” while “due to” follows “but also.”
Choice (D) results in awkward and vague phrasing. The
awkward “bubonic plague in medieval Europe was why
millions of people were killed” does not make it clear that
those killed were medieval Europeans or that bubonic plague
was the direct cause of these deaths.
Choice (C) results in a lack of parallelism. The grammatical
unit that follows “either” and the one that follows “or” should be
parallel, but they are not: “because of” follows “either,” while
“because there was” follows “or.”
Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the subject-verb agreement
error of the original by providing a singular verb (“was”) that
agrees with the singular subject of the sentence, “music.”
Choice (E) results in a lack of parallelism. The grammatical
unit that follows “either” and the one that follows “or” should be
parallel, but they are not: “because of” follows “either,” while
“the cause is” follows “or.”
7. Answer & Explanations
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the errors of the original by
providing a noun phrase (“the legislators”) that can be logically
modified by the sentence’s opening phrase (“Though they had
earlier indicated otherwise”).
Choice (A) results in a modification error, excessive
wordiness, and awkward phrasing. The singular pronoun “it”
cannot be logically modified by the sentence’s opening phrase
(“Though they had earlier indicated otherwise”). Moreover, the
wordy “decided upon by” should simply be “decided by,” and
the awkward, unidiomatic “to have the bill passed” should
simply be “to pass the bill.”
9. Answer & Explanations
Choice (A) results in an error in subject-verb agreement. The
plural verb “were” does not agree with the singular subject of
the sentence, “music.”
Choice (B) results in an error in subject-verb agreement. The
plural verb “have been” does not agree with the singular
subject of the sentence, “music.”
Choice (C) results in an error in subject-verb agreement. The
plural verb “become” does not agree with the singular subject
of the sentence, “music.”
Choice (E) results in a sentence fragment. The sentence has
no main verb, only the participle “being.”
10. Answer & Explanations
Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
providing a prepositional phrase (“as glorious”) to parallel the
prepositional phrase “as unpleasant.”
Choice (A) results in faulty parallelism. Rather than present
two parallel phrases (“adulthood as unpleasant” and
Page 8 of 9
Test 16: Explanations to Writing
“childhood as glorious”), the sentence provides a noun
modified by a prepositional phrase (“adulthood as unpleasant”)
and an independent clause (“childhood is glorified”).
Choice (B) results in faulty parallelism. Rather than present
two parallel phrases (“adulthood as unpleasant” and
“childhood as glorious”), the sentence interrupts the
parallelism of the second phrase by including the unnecessary
participle “being.”
Choice (D) results in faulty parallelism. Rather than present
two parallel phrases (“adulthood as unpleasant” and
“childhood as glorious”), the sentence provides a noun
modified by a prepositional phrase (“adulthood as unpleasant”)
and a noun modified by an adjective (“childhood glorified”).
Choice (E) results in faulty parallelism. The sentence mentions
two things that Barrie is noted for portraying and explains how
each thing was portrayed, but rather than present two parallel
phrases (“adulthood as unpleasant” and “childhood as
glorious”), the sentence provides a noun modified by a
prepositional phrase (“adulthood as unpleasant”) and a verb
phrase (“glorified childhood”) whose subject is “James
Barrie” (“James Barrie . . . is noted for . . . and glorified . . .”).
11. Answer & Explanations
13. Answer & Explanations
Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the illogical-comparison error of
the original by comparing “Meals prepared by the Algonquin
Indians” with “those [meals] prepared by other Indian tribes.”
Choice (A) results in an illogical comparison. It does not make
sense to compare “Meals” with “other Indian tribes.”
Choice (C) results in an error in pronoun reference. There is
nothing in the sentence to which “that” can logically refer.
Choice (D) results in a faulty comparison and an unclear
pronoun reference. Without “than” to complete the “more . . .
than . . .” comparative structure, it is not clear what the “Meals
prepared by the Algonquin Indians” are being compared with.
Moreover, there is nothing in the sentence to which “this” can
clearly and logically refer.
Choice (E) results in a faulty comparison and an error in
coordination. Without “than” to complete the “more . . .
than . . .” comparative structure, it is not clear what the “Meals
prepared by the Algonquin Indians” are being compared with.
Moreover, a semicolon is used in place of a comma to connect
two independent clauses joined by the coordinating
conjunction “and,” which is inferior in this sentence.
14. Answer & Explanations
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
providing a main verb (“is”) to carry out the action of the
sentence.
Choice (A) results in a sentence fragment. The sentence has
no main verb, only two relative clauses (“that requires . . .
premiums” and “that is . . . people”).
Choice (B) results in faulty sentence structure. The resulting
sentence has a relative clause (“that requires . . . premiums”)
connected to an independent clause (“it is . . . people”) by the
coordinating conjunction “and,” yielding an awkward, illogical
sentence.
Choice (C) results in an error in subject-verb agreement. The
plural verb “are” does not agree with the singular subject of the
sentence, “coverage.”
Choice (D) results in awkward phrasing and an error in
subject-verb agreement. The awkward and unidiomatic “with
the requirements of high monthly premiums” should simply be
“that requires high monthly premiums.” Moreover, the plural
verb “are” does not agree with the singular subject of the
sentence, “coverage.”
Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
providing a compound predicate (“moved . . . 1962” and “has
lived”) to carry out the action of the sentence.
Choice (A) results in a modification error. The phrase “since
which” does not indicate a time, and so cannot modify “1962.”
The phrase “since which time” is needed instead.
Choice (C) results in a comma splice. Two independent
clauses (“novelist . . . 1962” and “since then . . . London”) are
joined by only a comma.
Choice (D) results in an error in verb tense. The present
perfect “has lived” is needed to indicate an action that was
begun in the past and that leads up to and includes the
present.
Choice (E) results in an error in verb tense. The present
perfect “has lived” is needed to indicate an action that was
begun in the past and that leads up to and includes the
present.
12. Answer & Explanations
Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
providing a noun phrase (“the cuisine of New Orleans”) that
can be logically modified by the sentence’s opening phrase,
“Among the most flavorful cuisines in the United States.”
Choice (A) results in a modification error. A place, “New
Orleans,” cannot logically be described as being “Among the
most flavorful cuisines in the United States.”
Choice (B) results in a modification error. A place, “New
Orleans,” cannot logically be described as being “Among the
most flavorful cuisines in the United States.”
Choice (D) results in an error in pronoun reference. The
singular indefinite pronoun “one” does not agree with its plural
antecedent, “cuisines.”
Choice (E) results in a modification error. The word “also”
should be next to the word it modifies, “is.”
Page 9 of 9