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Painting with
Words
Using the Brush Strokes
from Image Grammar
Painting with Participles
A participle is an -ing verb (usually) tagged
on the beginning or end of a sentence. It
can also be an -ed verb.
Participles are always set off by commas.
Participles evoke action. They can also be
used to complete the image.
Using a single participle creates rapid
movement. Participial phrases add detail at
a slower pace, but it is equally intense.
Participle -ing verb tagged on the
beginning or end of a sentence
Sample sentence without a participle:
“The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.”
Sample sentence with a participle:
“Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamondscaled snakes attacked their prey.”
Look what happens to the image when a participial
phrase is added:
“Hissing their forked red tongues and coiling
their cold bodies, the diamond-scaled snakes
attacked their prey.”
An example of participles and participial
phrases from Ernest Hemmingway in Old
Man and the Sea:
Shifting the weight of the line to his left
shoulder and kneeling carefully, he
washed his hand in the ocean and held it
there, submerged, for more than a minute,
watching the blood trail away and the
steady movement of the water against his
hand as the boat moved. (56-57)
Let’s Practice with Participles
Complete the sentence by adding a participle or
participial phrase. Don’t forget the commas!
The Olympic long jumper thrust the
weight of his whole body forward.
a)
Example: Flying through the air on the wings of
a dream, the Olympic long jumper thrust the
weight of his whole body forward. (Cathleen Conry)
Let’s Practice Some More:
Add a participle to the sentence to give more detail:
Melody froze. A beam of light swung out into
the darkness.
b)
Example: Melody froze, dripping with sweat, hoping
with all her might that they wouldn’t hear the noise. A
beam of light swung out into the darkness, searching.
(Becky Swab)
c) The clown smiled and did his act with unusual
certainty for someone who had just killed a man.
Example: The clown, appearing bright and cheerful,
smiled and did his act with unusual certainty for someone
who had just killed a man. (Christi Flick)
Putting Participles to Use
Your Assignment:
A- Go through one paragraph of your written piece.
1- Underline all the verbs in one paragraph.
2- After you underline the verbs, add detail about the actions
of that image using a participle (verb+ing) at the beginning or
end of a sentence. Don’t forget the commas!
3- Do number 4 on your worksheet; find the participles and
participial phrases in the three professional examples.
4- Practice adding participles and participial phrases
throughout your writing.
Putting Participles to Use
Your Assignment:
B- Using your reading book, go through several pages
and identify participles.
- In-Class Sharing: Find and write down five examples of
participles or participial phrases in literature, also write
down a non-example. Be sure to identify the source
(author, title, page number). We will share these today.
Finding Participles in Literature
Identify the participles and participial phrases in the following
examples from Fablehaven byBrandon Mull. One of the sentences is a
non-example.
1- “Hey!” he shouted, swimming away from her.
2- Gripping the side of the pool, Seth turned to look at her
again, throwing up a hand and squinting to ward off the light.
3- As he started climbing out, she shoved him back in.
4- Walking toward the table to retrieve her towel, she stroked
her long hair, enjoying the rubbery texture as the wetness made
the strands cling together.
5- Shifting her gaze to the table, Kendra froze.
Finding Participles in Literature
6- Sprawled on his belly, a cut on one hand, dirt in his mouth,
he heard something rustling through the foliage behind him,
and a strange sound that was either laughter or running water.
7- Spotlighted by the flashlight, the toddler took a step toward
the window and fell to all fours.
8- Disoriented, she ran alongside Seth to the bed, sensing
something in pursuit.
9- The maroon goblin cavorted around the room in a feral
tantrum, tearing down bookshelves, upsetting toy chests, and
snapping the horn off the rocking horse.
10- They waited, looking around, expecting a recurrence of the
unusual sound.
11- Holding the front of the flashlight against the windowpane,
and cupping a hand around it to minimize reflection, he
switched it on.
Painting with Absolutes
An absolute is a two-word
combination of a noun combined
with an –ing or -ed verb (participle)
added onto a sentence and set off
by commas.
Or in other words: Noun & verb+-ing
Noun + Participle
Try this: Close your eyes and picture a mountain
climber moving along a steep cliff.
Visualize this one sentence description:
“The mountain climber edged along the cliff.”
Now, listen as I add a brush stroke:
“The mountain climber edged along the cliff,
hands shaking, feet trembling.”
Or in reverse order:
“Hands shaking, feet trembling, the mountain
climber edged along the cliff.”
You can also add an absolute phrase:
“Feet trembling on the snow-covered rock, the
mountain climber edged along the cliff.”
Using Absolutes
Boring sentence:
The cat climbed the tree.
More detailed sentence:
Claws digging, feet kicking, the cat
climbed the tree.
Note: Adding three absolutes overloads the picture and
diminishes the effect, one or two creates a far more
dynamic image than the original.
The Telescopic Lens Effect
The comma in the sentence controls a telescopic
lens that zooms in on images (draws the attention
of the reader to that specific place in the sentence).
In the sentence “The rhapis palm sat in a large, white container” the
writer can zoom in on any part of the picture here, either the container or
the palm.
Let’s assume that the branches of the palm are the detail of interest.
Without any word of transition, only a twist of a zoom lens represented
by a comma, the sentence can now read: “The rhapis palm sat in a large,
white container, the branches stretching into the air…” There can be
another comma after “air “ to frame that part of the sentence, if it is
interesting. If not, the writer can zoom in on the branches. The sentence
can now read: “The rhapis palm sat in a large, white container, the
branches stretching into the air, fibrous joints knuckling the otherwise
smooth surface.”
Notice that the focus (zoom) is not on the palm or the container, but on
the branches. All this is done by the simple use of a comma.
Let’s Practice with Absolutes:
Add an absolute or absolute phrase to the sentence to give more
detail. Remember: set off by commas.
a) The diver peered once more at the specimen.
Example: Mind racing, anxiety overtaking, the diver peered once
more at the specimen. (Erin Stralka)
b) I glanced at my clock.
Example: I glanced at my clock, digits glowing florescent blue in the
inky darkness of my room. (Jenn Coppolo)
c) The kitten yawned tiredly, awaking from her nap.
Example: Jaws cracking, tongue curling, the kitten yawned tiredly,
awaking from her nap. (Tara Tesmer)
Putting Absolutes to Use
Your Assignment:
A- Go through a different paragraph of your written piece.
1- Underline all the nouns in one paragraph.
2- After you underline the nouns, add detail about the
actions of that image using an absolute (a noun and a
participle [verb+-ing]). Don’t forget the commas!
3- Do number 6 in your packet; find the absolutes in the
professional example.
4- Practice adding absolutes throughout your writing.
Putting Absolutes to Use
Your Assignment:
B- Using your reading book, go through several pages
and identify absolutes.
- In-Class Sharing: Find and write down five examples of
absolutes in literature, also write down a non-example. Be
sure to identify the source (author, title, page number).
We will share these today.
Finding Absolutes in Literature
Identify the absolutes or absolute phrases in the following examples
from Fablehaven byBrandon Mull. One of the sentences is a nonexample.
1- He had walked this way at a leisurely pace, examining
toadstools and unusual rocks as he went.
2- Now he tore through the forest at full speed, undergrowth
clawing at his legs, branches whipping against his face and
chest.
3- There stood Grandpa Sorenson, wearing a flannel shirt and
work boots, arms folded across his chest.
4- Seth lay in a contorted position, hair wildly disheveled,
mouth open, legs tangled in his covers.
5- Eyes closed, lips moving soundlessly, Muriel stretched forth
a bloody hand, and a gust of wind stripped away the sparkling
dust.
Finding Absolutes in Literature
6- The baby looked back at the wolves, then turned back
toward Seth and Kendra, bawling with renewed vigor, fresh
tears streaming, tiny hands slapping the windowpanes.
7- The baby toddled to the window, pressing a chubby palm
against the glass.
8- Back on the bed, Seth clung to Goldilocks, arms quivering
convulsively.
9- His face fell and he turned away, shoulders shaking with
sobs.
10- His head was turned to one side, eyes squinted shut, arms
raised protectively.
11- One of the wolves bared sharp teeth, foam frothing from its
mouth.
12- She began to chuckle, tears brimming in her eyes.
Painting with Appositives
An appositive is a noun that adds
a second image to a preceding
noun.
Like the absolute, the appositive adds
details in the reader’s imagination.
The appositive (a noun) is located after a
noun, set off by commas, to enrich the
detail of the previous noun.
Using Appositives
The sentence: “The raccoon enjoys eating turtle
eggs,” can be enhanced by adding an appositive to
the sentence. “The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys
eating turtle eggs.”
The appositive is set off with commas and enriches
the image of the sentence.
To add more vivid details, writers frequently expand
the appositive and add appositive phrases.
Appositive phrase: The raccoon, a midnight
scavenger who roams lake shorelines in search of
food, enjoys eating turtle eggs.” (Notice the commas.)
Using Appositives in Writing
Appositives used in fiction:
Appositives expand sensory details of a noun. An
appositive or appositive phrase enriches the image and
creates a better picture for the reader. It gives greater
detail to the preceding noun.
Appositives used in non-fiction:
In non-fiction, writers often use an appositive image to
add clarity.
For example: “Michael Jordan, the famous basketball player…”
Let’s Practice with Appositives:
Complete the sentences by adding an appositive or appositive phrase. Use commas!
a) The volcano spewed forth lava and ash across the mountain.
Example:
The volcano, a ravenous God, spewed forth lava and ash across
the mountain. (Ben Quagliata)
b) The old Navajo woman stared blankly.
Example:
The old Navajo woman, a weak and withered lady, stared
blankly. (Jon Vadnal)
c) The fish felt the alligator’s giant teeth sink into his scales as
he struggled to get away.
Example:
The fish, a slimy mass of flesh, felt the alligator’s giant teeth
sink into his scales as he struggled to get away. (Lindsey Kannen)
Putting Appositives to Use
Your Assignment:
A- Go through one paragraph of your written piece.
1- Underline all the nouns dealing with an important
subject in one paragraph.
2- After you underline the nouns, add detail about the
image using an appositive (a noun added to another
noun separated by commas).
3- Complete #5 in your packet. Practice adding
appositives and appositive phrases throughout your
writing.
Putting Appositives to Use
Your Assignment:
B- Using your reading book, go through several pages
and identify appositives.
- In-Class Sharing: Find and write down five examples
of appositives or appositive phrases in literature, also write
down a non-example. Be sure to identify the source
(author, title, page number). We will share these today.
Finding Appositives in Literature
Identify the appositives or appositive phrases in the
following examples from Fablehaven byBrandon Mull.
One of the sentences is a non-example.
1- The roof rocketed beyond the treetops, a geyser of
wooden confetti.
Painting with Adjectives
Shifted Out of Order
Adjectives out of order amplify
the details of the image.
An adjective is________________.
Using Adjectives Shifted Out of Order
Many inexperienced writers overload their descriptions with
too many adjectives in a row.
Overloaded sentence: “The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose
charged the intruder.”
Professional authors rarely commit this error. They avoid the
three-in-a-row string of adjectives by using the technique of
adjectives out of order.
Leaving one adjective in its place, the authors shift the two
others after the noun.
Overloaded sentence above with adjectives out of order:
“The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the
intruder.”
Let’s Practice with Adjectives Out of Order:
Complete the sentences by adding 2 or 3 adjectives out of order. Don’t forget the
commas.
a) The woman smiled upon her newborn great-grandson with
pride.
Example:
The woman, old and wrinkled, smiled upon her newborn greatgrandson with pride. (Stephanie Schwallie)
b) The boxer felt no compassion for his contender.
Example:
The boxer, twisted and tormented, felt no compassion for his
contender. (Chris Hloros)
c) The cheetah stared at the gazelle, which would soon become
his dinner.
Example:
The cheetah, tired and hungry, stared at the gazelle, which would
soon become his dinner. (Zach Vesoulis)
Shifting Adjectives Out of Order
Your Assignment:
A- Go through one paragraph of your written piece.
1- Underline all the multiple adjectives (or stings of
adjectives) in one paragraph.
2- After you underline the adjective strings, add detail
about the image using two or three adjectives shifted
out of order, set off by commas.
3- Complete #4 in your packet. Practice adding
adjectives shifted out of order throughout your
writing.
Shifting Adjectives Out of Order
B- In-Class Sharing: Find and write down (or photo
copy) examples of adjectives shifted out of order in
literature. Be sure to identify the source (author, title,
page number). We will share these today.
Painting with Action Verbs
Action verbs are used instead of passive
voice and being verbs.
By eliminating or replacing passive voice
and reducing being verbs, writers can
energize action images.
Being verbs (also known as linking or helping verbs):
am
are
be
been
being
is
was
were
Forms of Be
had
has
have
having
Forms of Have
did
do
does
Forms of Do
can
could
may
might
must would
ought
shall
should
Modals: express attitude toward action or
state of being of main verb
Passive Voice & Being Verbs
Passive voice communicates no action. The image is
like a still photograph with the subject of the action frozen
by using the prepositions by or with.
Example of passive voice:
My car was serviced by Tom, my favorite mechanic.
My home was damaged by a tornado recently.
Passive voice verbs require the help of being verbs.
*Notice how the words by and was signal the noun performing the
action. Passive voice can weaken images by freezing the action in a
sentence.
*When the subject of a verb in the sentence performs the action,
the sentence is in the active voice.
*When the subject of a verb receives the action, the verb is in
passive voice.
Passive Voice & Being Verbs
Even when not used in passive voice, being verbs slow
the action and tend to link complements that tell (instead
of show).
You can improve the power of your sentences by
replacing as many being verbs as possible, often by
creating an appositive (a noun added to a previous noun).
For example: Change this into active voice for 4a)
“The Nerk Knocker is a strange mechanical contraption.
It brews coffee while beating a drum solo.”
To create a single, more powerful statement, use an appositive:
“The Nerk Knocker, a strange mechanical contraption,
brews coffee while beating a drum solo.”
Passive Voice & Being Verbs
Action verbs replace still photos with motion pictures.
With little imagination, a writer can bring an inanimate
object to life by adding action verbs.
Passive Voice Example:
The bridge was damaged by rushing water.
Sentence Written with Action:
Rushing water damaged the bridge.
By simply replacing being verbs, writers sharpen visual
images.
Example in passive voice: Change this into active voice for 4b)
Rockwell was a beautiful lake. Canada geese could be heard across the
water bugling like tuneless trumpets. (“Goose Moon” Shawn & Jerry)
Example in active voice:
Rockwell Lake echoed with the sounds of Canada geese. Their
honking bugled across the water like tuneless trumpets.
More About Being Verbs & Passive Voice
Writers can strengthen sentences in which being verbs link vague
nouns complements.
For example, in a sentence such as “The meal was wonderful,” the
being verb spotlights wonderful, a word that tells instead of shows,
which characterizes instead of describes.
For 4c) re-write this sentence using action verbs: The meal was
wonderful.
You can easily locate being verbs and verbs of passive voice by using
the find command on a word processor or by doing a visual search.
With a little time spent eliminating these verbs, writers can bring
their images to life.
However, when you cannot easily replace a being verb, it may
belong in the sentence. Some being verbs function to define and
others can convey a mood of passivity when a passage requires it for
effect. Example: The Mayor was reelected by a landslide.
Let’s Practice with Action Verbs
Complete the sentences by changing the passive verbs to active verbs:
6- The runaway horse was ridden into town by an old, whitewhiskered rancher.
Example:
The old, white-whiskered rancher rode the runaway horse into town.
7- The grocery store was robbed by two armed men.
Example:
Two armed men robbed the grocery store.
8- The gravel road was on the left side of the barn.
Example:
The gravel road curled around the left side of the barn.
Putting Action Verbs to Use
Your Assignment:
A- Go through one paragraph of your written piece.
1- Underline all the linking, helping, and being verbs that
create passive voice in one paragraph.
2- After you underline the linking verbs, change your verbs
into active voice.
3- Complete #5 in your packet. Practice using active voice
instead of passive voice throughout your writing.
B- In-Class Sharing: Find and write down (or photo copy)
great examples of active voice in literature. Be sure to
identify the source (author, title, page number). We will
share these today.
Putting Action Verbs to Use
Your Assignment:
B- In-Class Sharing: Find and write down (or photo
copy) great examples of active voice in literature. Be
sure to identify the source (author, title, page number).
We will share these today.
Putting the Five Grammar
Techniques to Use
Your Assignment:
At the back of your packet are 2 ½ pages of
samples from professional writing. Go
through each of the paragraphs and identify
the grammar technique of the bolded
words. (Write the technique above the
bolded word.)
This packet is due Friday, February 22
Parts of Speech
Noun: names a person, place, thing, or idea.
Examples: liberty, friend, newspaper, kindness, pride, swarm, success
Pronoun: a pronoun is used in place of one or more nouns or pronouns
Example: Paul and I wrote Abigail and expressed our pleasure at her engagement.
Verb: expresses an action or a state of being
Example: He carved the figurine and put it on the windowsill.
Adverb: modifies a verb, adjective, or another adverb. Tells where, when,
how, or to what extent. Most of the time, adverbs end in –ly, but not always.
Example: The brothers worked steadily and earnestly to build the treehouse.
Preposition: shows the relationship of a noun or a pronoun to some other
word in a sentence. Can be used in a prepositional phrase.
Example: That novel by Joseph Conrad is about spies in nineteenth –century Geneva.
Prepositional phrase example: Before breakfast, I like to watch the sun rise over the
rooftops.
Adjective: modifies a noun or pronoun. Tells what kind, which one, how
many, and how much.
Example: An old oak cast its huge shadow across the front yard.
Article: These are adjectives. The most frequently used are: a, an, and the.
Conjunction: joins words or groups of words: and, or, but, so, for, yet, nor
Example: Both Andrea and Walter were hoping to win or at least qualify for the
contest.