Download Sex Addiction in the New Media Frontier

Sex Addiction in the
New Media Frontier
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S
Founding Director - The Sexual Recovery Institute
Director of Sexual Disorder Programs
Elements Behavioral Health (Promises, The Ranch & SRI)
Note: This presentation will demonstrate methods
utilized to access online sexual experiences.
Explicit images will not be shown, however please
carefully consider if learning such information
might prove harmful to your personal health or
recovery.
The Problem
Fmr. President Bill Clinton
Fmr. Governor Elliot Spitzer
Fmr. Governor Mark Spencer
Fmr. Congressman Chris Lee
Fmr. Congressman Larry Craig
Fmr. Sports Hero Tiger Woods
Fmr. Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Fmr. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
Fmr. Congressman Anthony Weiner
All are men whose SEXUAL BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS
mortally wounded their ability to lead. But what if their
problem had been drinking or drugs like
Congressman Patrick Kennedy?
Is Sexual Addiction a legitimate
mental health diagnosis or just
an excuse for bad behavior?
• Was in the DSM III
• Was out of the DSM IV
• Now being considered for the DSM V
(Hypersexuality)
Typical Sex Addict Behaviors
• Compulsive Use of Porn (with or without masturbation)
• Anonymous Sex (met online or in sex clubs etc.)
• Adult Bookstores and Strip Clubs
• Sexual Exchange (i.e. Drugs or Favors for Sex)
• Prostitutes and Massage Parlors
• Cruising, Intriguing, Objectifying, Seduction
• Pushing Boundaries, Boundary Violations
• Multiple Affairs / Anonymous Infidelity
• GPS SmartPhone Hook-ups
• Sexting / Abusing Social Networks / Anonymous Hook-ups
Sex Addiction is not
‣ Axis I Symptom- we out ADD/OCD/Bi-P
‣ A Moral or Religious Stance
‣ Fun
‣ Fetish / Paraphilia
‣ Same Sex Interest or Activity
‣ Crystal Meth Addiction
‣ Sexual Offending - non consensual
Sexual Addiction is a Diagnosis that Follows
the Same Criteria as All Addictive Disorders
Criteria for Sex Addiction parallels guidelines for
assessing Substance Dependency, Alcoholism,
and Compulsive Gambling:
‣ Loss of control
‣ Continuation despite adverse consequences
‣ Obsession or preoccupation
The presence of all three criteria operationally
defines addiction to any drug or behavior
Sexual Addiction is the use of Intense
Fantasy to Induce Neurochemical
Release
‣ Serotonin - mood stability
‣ Dopamine - pleasure
‣ Adrenaline - energy, jolt
‣ Endorphins - calm
‣ Oxytocin - love/jealousy
This release temporarily provides: affect
management, emotional self-regulation,
dissociation and distraction from current
stressors
ADDICTS CALL IT…
‣ The Bubble
‣ The Trance
‣ Spaced Out
‣ Think ...
‣ Fight or Flight
‣ Dissociative State
‣ Trauma
‣ Self Soothing
In 12-Step Language ...
POWERLESS!
Sex Addiction is not about sex
or orgasm.
It is about the search for sex
and desire for orgasm.
It’s a Process Addiction.
The Process Addictions
Gambling
Internet Gaming
Workaholism
Binge Eating
Sex
Exercise
Religion
Spending
High Risk Behaviors
Sexual Addiction Symptoms in
Residential or Outpatient Clients
•
By History
• Multiple abortions (females), multiple STDs (both sexes),
repeated unprotected sex
• Previous arrest or major life consequences related to sex
• Drugs/Alcohol used to help tolerate or enhance sex
• History of previous sexual acting out in treatment
• Drug use fused with sexual behavior
• Multiple past failed relationships due to affairs or
infidelity
• Chronic or Compulsive Masturbation with or without
porn
Sexual Addiction Symptoms in
Residential or Outpatient Clients
By Behavior
• Seductive Dress (especially after it is pointed out)
• Seeking out “special relationships” with other attractive
clients or staff for advice, friendship and direction
• Giving “the stare”, being sexual in treatment
• History of CD relapse – especially females
• Encouraging Dependency as a form of seduction
• Sneaking & using porn in treatment - sharing porn in
treatment.
• Consistent sexual references and objectification in jokes
and conversation
• Lack of empathy about how their sexual behavior affects
others.
Sex, Tech & Addiction
How long did it take for the following
technologies to reach 50 million
participants following public
introduction?
•Radio - 38 years
•Television - 13 years
•Internet - 4 years
•Social Networking - 16 months!
•Whatever comes next will happen close to
instantaneously. It will be in our lives before we
know it our fully understand it. So get ready.
How has technology radically evolved
our experience of sexual content and
human sexual connection over the
past 25 years?
•Access
•Affordability
•Anonymity
• * Cooper, Del Monico et al 1998 - 1999
Sexual Access Timeline
1.0 Pre-history - 1890
• Recreational and Intimate Sexuality
• Cave-drawn and painted
pornography
• Affairs & Infidelity
• Public Baths and Steam Rooms
• Prostitutes & Harems
• Masturbation
Sexual Access Timeline
2.0 1890 - 1970’s
• All of the above plus ...
• Photographic Porn
• Porn Movies
• Porn theaters, Porn shops
• Bath-houses & Strip clubs
Sexual Content Access
3.0 1977 - 1990
• All of the above plus ...
• Video = VCR and BETA
• Phone Sex
• Softcore on cable TV- at home
• “Adult” and “Escort” Sections in Yellow
Pages, magazines and newspapers
Sexual Content Access
4.0 1990 - 2004
• All of the above plus ...
• BBS - Online bulletin board systems (BBS)
• Websites for porn and prostitution
• Online Porn and file transfer sites
• Chat Rooms
• Online Hook-ups - i.e. craigslist
• Webcams and interactive live sex
Sexual Content Access
5.0 2004 - Present
• All of the above plus ...
1. Sexting and live video streaming from your
smart phone
2. Smart Phones with GPS hook-up apps
3. Social Networks (facebook, twitter,
mySpace)
4. Virtual World Sex (2nd-Life, virtual games
etc)
5. 3-D Imagery and Teledildonics
About Sexting
Eewwwwwwwww!
And some are using it to offend ...
3-D Adult Video in the News
2011
• The first 3D porn full feature film made for
modern stereoscopic TVs-those that use
shutter eyeglasses-has arrived… It’s called
Kama-sutra.
• Sharp’s 3D mobile video will support user
movie creation which, in turn, will promote
the viewing of 3D content — both amateur
low-cost video and corporate premium
content.
facehooked?
• “Before entering treatment I was spending up
to 5 hours a night some nights cruising
facebook for sex. Well, not for sex exactly, it
was more cruising for faces and profiles I
thought might respond to me. I was looking for
friendly, engaging women, then leaving
messages, poking them, trying to get a
response from someone who cared. Then we
would take it from there ... ”
•
- A 32 year old married SRI-IOP client
About Smartphones
•GPS locators mean immediate live
access to sexual partners and sexual
content-
•Universal Internet access anywhere - to
porn, to sexually oriented environments
(strip clubs, adult bookstores, etc)
•Live video streaming to phones and
pads-
•Let’s look at this more closely ...
There’s an app for that!
So what’s an app?
• Apps are applications that you load from the
Internet onto your smart phone or ‘pad’ to perform
specific functions. For example - if you load a
dictionary app onto your phone- you can then use
your phone to look up words and spelling from
your phone
• Sex apps are the same - loaded from to your
phone to help find sexual partners.
What makes phone based Apps
different from Websites?
• They are useful for anyone wary of leaving
tracks on work or home computers. Because
the apps are loaded up from phones' browsers,
they leave no electronic, traceable trail.
• Social connection apps utilize the active Global
Positioning Satellite feature (GPS) on your
phone so you can find a sex partner literally
within feet or blocks of where you sit.
Apps you should know about
• Ashley Madison - for married men and
women
• Grindr - for gay men
• Qrusher Girls - for lesbian women
• Loopd-Mix Chat! - to find all types of partners
• Adult Friend Finder - no explanation needed
• Started
as aAshley
website - now
also a mobile app About
Madison
perfect example of content access progression
• AM Slogan: “Life is short, have an affair.”
• AM Mission Statement: “To provide an
interactive way for like-minded users to
explore whether they wish to meet each other,
chat with each other and/or explore extramarital relationships”
• Over 3-million members internationally
• In May 2009 – 679,000 men and women used
the service to contact a sexual partner in that
single month
• 92% of males on the site sign in as married
Teledildonics with your Wii...
By hooking up the hardware components up to the two Wiimotes, wiggles and thrusts on the first Wii-mote are detected
and sent via Bluetooth to a nearby computer. From there this
information is sent over the Internet and reproduced by the
other Wii-mote which acts as a Wii-brator on the other end,
allowing remote partners to simultaneously enjoy each others
And about this, I can only say
...
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
e!
•
And it’s only $279.00 with your Wii Console
•
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•
•
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The good tech news you should also know
about
Treatment and recovery are also entering the new
media frontier, albeit a bit more slowly. All of us need to
be aware of these options for our clients. Some
examples include:
Tele-meetings
Online 12-step Chats
Online Skype Meetings
Face to face video sponsorship
Apps like Mobi-Stealth- to keep track of your addict
Virtual Reality de-sensitization techniques ...
The NEW GENERATION GAP
Old Gap
• Sexual Mores
• Rock & Roll
• Television
• Recreational Drug Use
• Liberalism (Gender, Social &
Racial equality)
• Children seen & not heard
• Personal Privacy
• Religion
“I Won’t Listen to you!”
New Gap
• Sexual Mores
• Born with Computers
• The Internet & eLife
Spirituality vs. Religion
• Rude Interpersonal Communication
• Virtual Reality Social Networking =
ongoing immediate interconnectivity
• Neural Development
•
“I Can’t See or Hear You!”
In essence, we (older, wiser, professional folks) are
inadvertently becoming invisible!
Sexual Addiction Information
‣The Sexual Recovery Institute
www.sexualrecovery.com
‣The Ranch www.recoveryranch.com
‣IITAP - International Institute for Trauma, and
Addiction Professionals www.iitap.com
‣SASH - The Society for the Advancement of
Sexual Health
www.sash.net
‣Esummits www.esummits.com
Sex Addiction in the
New Media Frontier
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S
Founding Director - The Sexual Recovery Institute
Director of Sexual Disorder Programs
Elements Behavioral Health (Promises, The Ranch & SRI)
Note: This presentation will demonstrate methods
utilized to access online sexual experiences.
Explicit images will not be shown, however please
carefully consider if learning such information
might prove harmful to your personal health or
recovery.