Download SOCIAL SCIENCE 1990J - COMN 2111 @ York University

COMN 2111
GENDER AND
COMMUNICATION
LECTURE 19a
CULTURE: A REVIEW
CULTURE IS:


A WAY OF LIFE
REPRESENTS THE “TAKEN-FORGRANTED” VIEWS SHARED BY GROUP
CULTURE CONSISTS OF:



KNOWLEDGE
VALUES
SYMBOLIC EXPRESSION
KEY “TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED”
CULTURAL ASSUMPTION

ABOUT GENDER AND COMMMUNICATION



WOMEN AND MEN IN CONVERSATION SPEAK THE
SAME “LANGUAGE” WITH THE SAME INTENTIONS AND
SAME MEANINGS
RESEARCH BY SOCIO-LINGUISTS SUGGESTS
THAT THIS GENERAL ASSUMPTION OF
SAMENESS IS WRONG.
GENERALLY, MEN AND WOMEN OPERATE IN
TWO DIFFERENT SUB-CULTURES OR
COMMUNICATION GROUPS
CULTURE AND WORDS



Every society has a lexicon or list of agreed-upon
names for objects, ideas
Unanalyzable, simple words that name categories of
things with easily observed differences
A name is a symbol because of arbitrarily attached
meaning
 Not concrete or tied naturally to things
 Names we apply emphasize particular aspects
of reality and neglect others
LANGUAGE AND GENDER

Defines Gender

Symbols define phenomena.

We use symbols to name objects, people, feelings,
experiences, and other phenomena.
LANGUAGE DEFINES GENDER


MAN STILL USED TO MEAN PEOPLE OR
HUMANITY UNTIL THE 90’S
“MALE GENERICS” EXCLUDED WOMEN



RESEARCH QUITE CLEAR ON “MAN” EVOKING THE IMAGE
OF MALE NOT HUMAN IN STUDENTS OF ALL AGES
“MALE GENERICS” SEEMED TO MAKE MEN
MORE PROMINENT
NATURE OF “PUBLIC TALK” (MEDIA) ABOUT
WOMEN AND MEN DIFFERENT


APPEARANCE AND RELATIONSHIPS - WOMEN
ACTIVITIES AND ACHIEVEMENTS - MEN
LANGUAGE AND GENDER

Defines Gender

Symbols define phenomena.
We use symbols to name objects, people, feelings,
experiences, and other phenomena.


Organizes Perceptions of Gender


We can classify phenomena and think in terms of
generalizations.
Often either-or Stereotypes

Strong vs. Weak, Emotional vs. Rational
Language and Gender

Evaluates Gender




Language is not neutral. It reflects cultural values and is a
powerful influence on our perceptions.
Women are often trivialized by language.
Demeaned by metaphors that equate them with food,
animals, possessions, children
220 words for sexually permissive women - 22 for men
Language and Gender

Enables Hypothetical Thought



Symbols are abstract - allow us to think about not just what is,
but also what will or might be and what has been.
How to improve situations
Language Allows Self-Reflection


As symbol users, we can name ourselves - self-reflect.
If we don't like the self we see, we are able to change, to alter
how we act and how we define our identity
COMN 2111
GENDER AND
COMMUNICATION
LECTURE 19b
GENDERED TALK
IN THE SOCIAL SCIENCES WE DISCUSS CENTRAL TENDENCIES
IN DATA
GENDER AND KID’S PLAY
Girls
Boys








Early separate worlds
More emotions info
Parents use more emotion
and words
The nature of emotions
Early language skills explore and articulate
feelings
Smaller, coop. games
By puberty - girls learn
indirect aggression
Connected relationships








By 7 no friends are girls
Less info except anger
Narrower display range fewer emotion words
Causes - consequences
Use of more physical action
to display - less aware of
internal states
Larger, competitive play
Boys learn direct & ritual
aggression
Tough minded autonomy
TWO VIEWS OF THE
WORLD


MEN SPEAK TO DISCOVER WHO IS IN CHARGE HIGH VS. LOWS - COMPETITION
WOMEN SPEAK TO DISCOVER WHO IS
CONNECTED - CLOSE VS. FAR - CONNECTION
MEN
WOMEN
GENDER AND EMOTIONAL
COMMUNICATION
GENDER AND EMOTIONAL
COMMUNICATION
GENDERED TALK


WORD USAGE AND GENDER
WOMEN TEND TO USE






MORE WORDS
INTENSIFIERS
TAG QUESTIONS (ISN’T IT) AND “UP-INFLECTIONS”
“ENCOURAGERS” WHEN LISTENING
MORE AFFECT (FEELING) WORDS THAN MALES
BUT MEN USE MORE AFFECT WORDS WHEN
TALKING TO WOMEN THAN MEN

WOMEN DON’T CHANGE THEIR RATE OF USE
COMN 2111
GENDER AND
COMMUNICATION
LECTURE 19c
GENDER-RELATED BARRIERS TO
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION






MEN SPEAK:
TO ESTABLISH AUTONOMY RELATIVE TO EACH
OTHER (COMPETE TO MAINTAIN IT)
TO NEGOTIATE STATUS
USING ‘REPORT TALK’
TALK SHOULD ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING SOLVE A PROBLEM, GIVE ADVICE, TAKE A
STAND
THEIR “TAKEN FOR GRANTED” WORLD IS ONE
OF HIERARCHY AND CONTROL
CHARACTERISTICS

MEN RESIST BEING “ONE DOWN”:


COMPETE IN CONVERSATIONS






LESS LIKELY TO ASK QUESTIONS WHEN THEY DON’T
KNOW SOMETHING
GIVE ANSWERS RATHER THAN LISTEN
WAIT TO RE-DIRECT CONVERSATION
DEBATE RATHER THAN DISCUSS
INTERRUPT TO GAIN FLOOR
EXPECT TO BE ATTACKED AND ATTACK OTHERS
“FIGHT IT OUT” THEN “DROP IT” AND
MOVE ON

RITUAL COMBAT IS SEEN AS NATURAL
GENDER-RELATED BARRIERS TO
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

WOMEN SPEAK:

TO ESTABLISH THEIR CONNECTION TO EACH
OTHER (COOPERATE TO MAINTAIN IT)
TO NEGOTIATE INTIMACY
USING ‘RAPPORT TALK’ (CONNECT TALK)
TALK SHOULD DEAL WITH FEELINGS,
PERSONAL IDEAS, BUILD RELATIONSHIPS
THEIR “TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED” WORLD IS
BASED ON CLOSENESS AND DISTANCE




CHARACTERISTICS

WOMEN ARE TAUGHT TO:

TAKE TURNS IN SPEAKING
TO ASK QUESTIONS AND LISTEN
WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW
OVERLAP ONLY TO SUPPORT NOT TO
GRAB THE FLOOR
TO USE RITUALS OF SPEECH TO
SHOW CONNECTION TO OTHERS NOT
TO COMPETE RITUALLY



GENDER BASED COMMUNICATION
PROBLEMS: REMINDERS


THUS, WHEN MEN AND WOMEN
SPEAK TOGETHER THEY MAY SPEAK
AT CROSS-PURPOSES
THEY HOLD DIFFERENT VIEWS OF
RELATIONSHIPS



WOMEN: A RELATIONSHIP IS WORKING
WHEN YOU CAN DISCUSS IT
MEN: IF IT’S WORKING YOU DON’T
DISCUSS IT - TALK IS FOR SOLVING
PROBLEMS
THEY HAVE DIFFERENT MODES OF
RITUAL SPEECH
CHARACTERISTIC
COMMUNICATION RITUALS

NEGOTIATIONS:



WOMEN OPEN NEGOTIATIONS BY ASKING HOW OTHERS SEE
A PROBLEM
MEN OPEN NEGOTIATIONS BY CLAIMING WHAT THEY WANT
DOWNPLAY:


WOMEN DOWNPLAY CERTAINTY TO BE CONNECTIVE
MEN DOWNPLAY DOUBTS TO AVOID ‘ONE-DOWN’
POSITION
CHARACTERISTIC
COMMUNICATION RITUALS

IDEAS:



RITUALS:


GIRLS LEARN TO PHRASE THEIR IDEAS AS
SUGGESTIONS
BOYS LEARN TO GIVE ORDERS WITHOUT REASONS
WOMEN USE PHRASE “I’M SORRY’ AS CONNECTIVE
RITUAL, MEN INTERPRET AS APOLOGY
“SOCIAL LYING”

GENDER DIFFERFENCES APPEAR HERE TOO.
CHARACTERISTIC COMMUNICATION
RITUALS: SOCIAL LYING AND GENDER

SOCIAL LYING RESEARCH



A review of the tapes with them afterwards



Adaptive Unconcscious response
We lie more to friends than strangers in order to enhanced our self esteem.
We lie in conversations all the time to make things go well



60% admitted they were lying to others, about 3 lies per 10 minute session.
They didn't even realize they were lying


Strangers in a lab talk together.
At the end of the discussion, asked "Did you lie?"...all said "No".
Self reports: Both Men and Women lie once or twice a day - in 20% of all
exchanges over 10 minutes
Those who do it best are those who do it unconsciously and think they are telling
the truth at the time. They don’t give themselves away.
In general, men tended to lie to make themselves look better while women
lied to make others feel better.
WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION
AND GENDER
EXAMPLE :

MALE INTERN RISKS THE LIFE OF A PATIENT IN ORDER
TO AVOID ASKING SUPERIOR QUESTION ABOUT
TREATMENT

FEMALE INTERNIST IS RECOGNIZED BY HER PEERS AS
BEST BUT RECEIVES A POOR EVALUATION FROM MALE
SUPERIOR BECAUSE SHE ASKS ‘MORE QUESTIONS’

Slides 16 and 17 Based on Book by D. Tannen called “Talking From 9
to 5”
IMPROVING CROSS-GENDER
COMMUNICATION





BE CONSCIOUS (MINDFUL)
USE DUAL PERSPECTIVE
OWN YOUR OWN FEELINGS AND
THOUGHTS . USE I-LANGUAGE.
RESPECT WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT
THEIR FEELINGS AND IDEAS
USE METACOMMUNICATION