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Understanding and Effective Use of Non--Verbal Communication Non Actions Speak Louder Than Words! Gregg A. Hawrylko, PMP 16 March 2010 Introduction You cannot say nothing! Try to sit for one minute without speaking. Your body will still communicate something – rigidity, anxiety, boredom, something. Body language, carefully observed and interpreted, can tell a lot about what you (and others) are feeling. 2 Introduction (cont) According to PMI, 55% of all communication is nonnonverbal – based on physical mannerisms. The Fourth Edition of PMBOK, Appendix G advises on “Interpersonal Skills” Communication Influencing Motivation Political and cultural awareness Negotiation Interpersonal skills are critical to effective project management 3 PMP Exam Question Two people are arguing about what needs to be done to complete a work package. If the project manager wants to know what is going on, she should pay MOST attention to: A. what is being said and when. B. what is being said, who is saying it, and the time of day. C. physical mannerisms and what is being said. D. the pitch and tone of the voices, and physical mannerisms. 4 Answer Choices C and D both include nonnon-verbal communication, which represents 55% of communication. Choice D adds paralingual communication (pitch and tone) and is thus the best choice. 5 Other Sources “Body language comprises 55% of the force of any response, whereas the verbal content only provides 7%, and paralanguage, or the intonation -- pauses and sighs given when answering -- represents 38% of the emphasis." (WSJ - CollegeJournal.com) Emotional vs. Cognitive Intelligence Best answers may not get you the job! 6 Purpose This presentation examines various forms of non--verbal communication and what they mean non How to use nonnon-verbal communication to your advantage in meetings and presentations How to figure out what people are really saying! 7 Topics Covered Posture Body Orientation Gestures Mannerisms (speaking and when seated) How to tell when someone may be lying Paralinguistics (vocal elements such as tone, pitch, pace) Humor Clothing Proximity and Touching Time management 8 The Ten Rules of Lying Look for the signs Common “tells” when people attempt to lie Don’t confuse with stress Compare to baseline behavior if possible HowToDoThings.com 9 Rule #1 – Freeze Little--toLittle to-no body movement People freeze, not quite facing the other person Move as little as possible during lie May be overly dramatic to “sell” the lie 10 Rule #2 – No Eye Contact Hard to lie while looking directly into eyes May occur at the precise moment of the lie! Fierce eye contact to “sell” the lie 11 Rule #3 – Stress Gestures Rapid blinking, scratching, swallowing, fidgeting If discovered, lying carries risk of punishment Physical manifestations occur as byproduct of internal conflict 12 Rule #4 – Looking Up and Right Up and left associated with memory recall Up and right associated with imagination 13 Rule #5 – Covering Up Touching nose or covering face / mouth Habits from childhood (subconscious) “Cover up” and increase distance 14 Rule #6 – Rise in Vocal Pitch Product of stress Voice gets high and squeaky Speaker cannot override physical change 15 Rule #7 – WideWide-eyed & Innocent Fake innocence – Who me? Child denying hand in cookie jar while still there 16 Rule #8 – Noticeable Pause Most people lack ability to instantly fabricate plausible fiction Takes a moment to think before you get rolling Pause right before the lie begins Actual events easy to recall and don’t take effort 17 Rule #9 – Change the Subject Most prefer to avoid subject rather than lie Lying suspected? Change subject quickly Liar goes along easily and may even visibly relax Truthful person more likely to be confused and want to finish their thoughts 18 Rule #10 – The Parrot Is person using your exact words? “Did you leave this here?” Watch out for unun-contracted words Formal speech can indicate a lie “Did you sleep with her?” 19 Thank You Gregg A. Hawrylko Vice President Homeland Security Practice Unisys Corporation 11720 Plaza America Drive Reston, Virginia 20190 (703) 439 5862 Office (571) 205 3724 Mobile [email protected] 20