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Transcript
JEWISH MARRIAGE Kiddushin • Is the Hebrew word for marriage • It means sanctification/holiness • Marriage is a sacred relationship, a setting apart. Purpose of Marriage • Companionship • Propagation • Establishing the family as the basic social unit “When a husband unites with his wife in holiness, the divine presence abides with them.” (Talmud Bavli Sotah 17a). • According to the Talmud (Yevamot 62B) ‘a man without a wife is incomplete, and cannot experience true goodness’. • Sex is permissible only within the context of a marriage. In Judaism, • sex is not merely a way of experiencing physical pleasure. • It is an act of immense significance, which requires commitment and responsibility. • The requirement of marriage before sex ensures that sense commitment and responsibility. Jewish law also forbids • sexual contact short of intercourse outside of the context of marriage, • recognizing that such contact will inevitably lead to intercourse. Jewish law says • that a man commits himself to three major obligations in marriage: He owes his wife • food, • clothing, and • sex. Indeed in Judaism, the ideal time for sexual relations is on The Shabbat • Thus emphasising the holiness of the sexual act when performed with the proper attitude and intent. Since marital relations are a mitzvah, • Jewish law also details the frequency of sex in the marriage, based on the man’s profession! Talmud prescribed minimum schedule for sexual relations based on a man’s profession. • For men of independent means, every day. • Donkey drivers, once a week. • Camel drivers, once every thirty days. • For sailors, once every six months. The legal code also states If someone originally worked in a trade near his home, which put him in a category of those expected to have greater frequency of sexual relations, and he wanted to change to a trade where he would have to travel far from home, his wife could have legally prevented him from changing jobs! The primary purpose of sex • is to reinforce the loving marital bond between husband and wife. • The first and foremost purpose of marriage is companionship, • and sexual relations play an important role. Procreation is also a reason for sex • but it is not the only reason. • Sex between husband and wife is permitted (even recommended) at times when conception is impossible, • such as when the woman is pregnant, • after menopause, • or when the woman is using a permissible form of contraception. Those who are • Sterile • beyond childbearing age, or • pregnant • are all still obligated by Jewish law to engage in sexual relations. In the Torah, • the word used for sex between husband and wife comes from the root word meaning "to know," • which vividly illustrates that proper Jewish sexuality involves both the heart and mind, not merely the body. Nevertheless, • Judaism does not ignore the physical component of sexuality. • The need for physical compatibility between husband and wife is recognized in Jewish law. A Jewish couple • must meet at least once before the marriage, • and if either prospective spouse finds the other physically repulsive, • the marriage is forbidden. Sex should only be experienced • Sex should only be experienced in a time of joy. • Sex for selfish personal satisfaction, without regard for the partner's pleasure, is wrong and evil. • A man may never force his wife to have sex. A couple may not • have sexual relations while drunk or quarreling. • Sex may never be used as a weapon against a spouse, either by depriving the spouse of sex or by compelling it. • It is a serious offense to use sex (or lack thereof) to punish or manipulate a spouse. Judaism believes that marriage • is an honoured, essential part of Jewish life. • At the same time, it recognizes that some marriages break down irreparably and it accepts divorce. A document of divorce • known as a ‘get’ and the method of issuing this bill of divorce is described in Deuteronomy 24:1. • Orthodox Jews may still seek a get from a rabbinical court (Beit Din) where as progressive Jews usually rely on a civil court.