Download Brushstrokes

Brushstrokes
Painting with Action Verbs
• be – is a verb
• It is a linking verb and a helping verb.
• Sometimes using a be verb is necessary,
but most being verbs should be eliminated in
editing.
Verbs a good writer tries to eliminate:
am, is, are, was, were, being, been, has,
have, had, does, do, did, shall, will, should,
would, could, may, might, must, can
Rewrite the following sentence using an
action verb.
The road was on the left side of the barn.
Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
with being verbs in place of the author’s original verbs
.
He was a tall, strong, heavy, nut-brown
man. What was noticeable was his jet
black pigtail and his soiled blue coat. He
had a handspike. His hands were rugged
and scarred with black, broken nails, and
there was a cut across one cheek of a
dirty, livid white.
Original Treasure Island excerpt
I remember him as if it were yesterday, a
tall, strong, heavy nut-brown man; his tarry
pigtail falling over the shoulders of his
soiled blue coat; his hands rugged and
scarred with black, broken nails; and the
saber cut across one cheek, a dirty, livid
white.
Brushtrokes can often replace linking verb sentences.
Revise the following passage:
The storm woke me in the middle of the
night. The lightning was striking. The
thunder was exploding like grenades.
painting with prepositional phrases
The car ________ into the parking lot.
Add a vivid verb in the blank.
Add a prepositional phrase at the
beginning of the sentence.
painting with appositives
The car ___________ into the parking lot.
Add a vivid verb in the blank.
Add an appositive or appositive phrase
after car.
Painting with adjectives out of order
The dented, rusty car went into the parking lot.
(typical order - adjectives before the noun they modify)
The car, dented and rusty, went into the
parking lot.
(adjectives out of order)
Now you try it:
The car, ___________ and ___________,
_____________________ into the parking lot.
(replace went with a vivid verb)
painting with present participial phrases
The car __________ into the parking lot.
Add a vivid verb in the blank.
Add a present participial phrase at the beginning
of the sentence. (ing)
Ex:
Sliding on the gravel, the car chugged into the
parking lot.
painting with a series of present participles
The car ___________ into the parking lot.
Add a vivid verb in the blank.
Add three present participles (ing) in front the car.
Ex:
Clunking, screeching, and sputtering, the car
chugged into the parking lot.
painting with past participial phrases
Write a sentence starting with a past participial
phrase.
Ex:
Embarrassed by his friends, Charlie hid from
Sara and refused to ask her to dance.
Frozen with fear, I gazed at the audience
waiting for me to begin my speech.
past participial phrase
Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the
bushy black moustache and at their
corners, sank into little folds, filled with
disapproval and potato chips.
John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
painting with a series of participial phrases
He hobbled around the ruins, seizing at
his bad leg when it lagged, talking and
whimpering and shouting directions at
it and cursing it and pleading with it to
work for him now when it was vital.
Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
painting with noun absolutes
1. noun + present participle (ing)
Tires screeching
2. noun + past participle (ed)
Experiment completed
Face twisted
3. noun + prepositional phrase
Pencil in hand
Eye on the ball
painting with a series of absolutes
Suddenly he saw the monstrous head of
the fish – not five feet away, so close he
could reach over and touch it with the
ladle – black eyes staring at him,
silver-gray snout pointing at him,
gaping jaw grinning at him.
Peter Benchley, Jaws
Zooming and Layering
Rough draft
The boat went through the waves on the
lake. The waves were high and came
down over us. The storm made our minds
fearful.
Rough Draft
The boat went through the waves on the lake. The waves
were high and came down over us. The storm made our
minds fearful.
Revision 1 – zoom in on nouns and verbs
The row boat plunged into the waves on
Lake Erie. White caps crested and then
cascaded over us. The wind and
lightening rippled out minds with fear.
layering – add brushstrokes
Hull groaning, the leaky row boat, an old
wooden Acme Skiff, plunged into the fivefoot waves on Lake Erie. Swirling above
the boat, dancing like the wings of
vultures, white caps crested in the
moonlight and then cascaded upon us.
The howling wind, the chilling air and the
sputtering motor rippled our minds with a
fear of dying.
Identify the brushstokes
(1)Hull groaning, the leaky row boat, (2)
an old wooden Acme Skiff, plunged
(3)into the five-foot waves on Lake Erie.
(4)Swirling above the boat, dancing like
the wings of vultures, white caps crested
(5)in the moonlight and then cascaded
upon us. The howling wind, the chilling air
and the sputtering motor rippled our minds
(6)with a fear of dying.