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Download Chapter 6: Understanding Relationships
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Interpersonal Communication •also called Dyadic •communication between two people •the relationship stage of communication •What is interpersonal communication? CHARACTERISTICS • Discussions about communication • Content Dimension • Relational Dimension Metacommunication Messages • Context: Quality Channel quantity • Quality: • Impersonal or interpersonal • Face to Face • Mediated Types of Interpersonal Relationship Acquaintances Romantic Relationships Work Relationships Family Relationships Friendships WHY DO WE BUILD RELATIONSHIPS WITH ONE PERSON OVER ANOTHER? •Proximity •Similarity •Complementary = opposites attract •Social Exchange (rewards-costs=outcome) •Appearance •Competence •Prefer talented but flawed •Exception: Hi or low self-esteem person wants perfect person •Reciprocal attraction •Other person likes you How Do Relationships Develop? Theories of Relational Development _Knapps’s Developmental Model Maintenance Bonding Integrating Differentiating Circumscribing Intensifying Experimenting Stagnating Forward or Backward Avoiding Terminating Initiating Quickly or Slowly Coming Together May Stabilize Coming Apart Dialectical Model – Competing goals (dialectical tensions) • Connection vs Autonomy • Openness vs • Predictability vs Privacy Novelty How do we build better and deeper relationships? Intimacy Self-Disclosure Intimacy Physical • touching, hugging, holding hands Intellectual • Discussing issues of shared inerests and importance Emotional • Sharing feelings Shared Activities • Doing things together GENDER AND INTIMACY Gender Impacts Intimacy Styles Females Males Self-disclose Reveal feelings Share (-) and (+) Do things together Do things for you to show caring Sex is a way to express intimacy Sex is a way to create (build) intimacy Culture Impacts Intimacy Styles Rebekah Nathan My Freshmen Year Collectivistic Cultures Individualistic Cultures •Japan •More in-group vs outsiders •USA •Cocktail Party Conversationalists Self-Disclosure: deliberately revealing personal and significant information about oneself that would otherwise be unknown Social Penetration Model and Self-Disclosure – Breadth: # of topics discussed – Depth: shift from nonrevealing messages to personal messages – The greater the depth and breadth the more intimate the relationship. Johari’s Window Model of Self-disclosure • Comprised of four quadrants: Open, Blind, Hidden and Unknown. • Quadrants become smaller or larger based on the amount of communication and self-disclosure in a relationship. • Generally the larger the open area, the more intimate the relationship. What is appropriate self-disclosure? – Is the other person important to you? – Is the amount and type of disclosure appropriate? – Is the disclosure relevant? – Is the disclosure reciprocated? – Will it be constructive? Is the risk of disclosing reasonable? Trust What is trust? What causes you to lose trust in someone? -To believe that someone is honest and means no harm The Free Dictionary What can you do if you don’t want to self-disclose? •Equivocate •Hint (face-saving) •Lie Lying • Dating couples lie in about 1/3 of relationships • College students tell their mothers lies in 50% of conversations. • Average = 3 lies for every 10 minutes of conversation • Many lies are altruistic lies or “white lies”
