Download Improving Writing Exercise [Monarchy, Exam 1]

Improving Your Writing:
Practice from Exam One
Reading the following pairs of excerpts.
Decide which excerpt is written better a) or b). Explain why. Be specific.
a)
In the Byzantine empire religion and politics were one in the same, meaning that they were combined. The
emperor had to make choices based on what he believed would please both sides. One major example is
Constantine. He converted to Christianity after he had a vision that told him the only way he could save his empire
was through Christianity.
b) Under Byzantine emperors religion & politics intertwined. After Constantine’s conversion in 312, Christians came
to power in the Roman imperial government. Like later emperors, Constantine supported the development of
orthodoxy, or correct thinking, regarding Christian doctrine by calling together bishops at the Council of Nicaea in
325. As a result, Christian groups like the Arians were persecuted for heretical views about the nature of Jesus.
Later Byzantine emperors continued seeing these religious disputes as a threat to their political power & the unity
of the empire.
a)
As the glory of Rome began to subside the world was divided many ways by many rulers but the most adherent
division was not necessarily a geographical one, but an ideological one. Christianity’s rise marked the beginning of
this era of change.
b) As the Roman empire declined in the West, the Mediterranean world between the 4 th and 8th centuries gradually
transformed into three distinct societies with religious, political, & cultural differences. Nevertheless, the Germanic
West, the Byzantine East, and Islamic Empires all borrowed and adapted aspects from the earlier Roman laws,
government, & cultural traditions.
Byzantine’s main Emperor was Justinian (527-565). He liked war, & tried to reclaim the western Germanic
kingdoms.
b) Under Justinian and Theodora in the 6th century the Byzantines waged war with Western kingdoms such as the
Vandals and Lombards and tried to reunite the Roman empire. As both a political and religious leader, Justinian
sponsored building projects such as the Hagia Sophia and continued trying to work out Christian orthodoxy through
church councils. He also built upon earlier Roman law and tried to organize & codify its scattered parts.
a)
a)
By the end of the seventh century the three heirs of the Romans had developed distinct ways of life politically,
economically, & culturally. During this period of transition, which historians consider the beginning of the early
middle ages, each heir had their own style of dealing with these three areas.
b) Byzantine, Islam, and the Western Germanic kingdoms while different in their respective creations, they all shared
many things with their ancestors, the Roman Empire. But it is their unique differences that make them stand out
today as great empires.
a)
The rise & fall of the Roman Empire is something with great depth in which causing several different problems &
occurances to happen. From Byzantium to Islamic, to medieval Europe, Christianity to start took a drastic turn
throughout these times.
b) The disintegration of the Roman Empire from the 3rd to 5th centuries saw dramatic changes in politics, economics,
and cultures. While the East remained relatively stable and wealthy under emperors centered in Constantinople, the
poorer West became ruled by various Germanic kingdoms. By the 7 th century a new political & religious power
arose from the desert of Arabia to challenge Christianity; this was called Islam.
In the West Germanic people lived in the West. They were also called the barbarians they didn’t have much for
politics all they had was the Burgundian code & and leader. The West was economically poor, they wore skins and
boots then they started to trade w/ the East & Islamic territories in return they would receive silks.
b) The former Western part of the empire gradually became of mixture of Roman and Germanic laws, customs, and
cultures. As Germanic peoples including the Visigoths, Vandals, Lombards, and Franks settled down they
combined with the Romans and adopted earlier ways. For example, the Burgundians wrote down law codes
affected by Roman law and Christianity. Rulers such as Clovis, the first of the Merovingian Franks, converted to
orthodox rather than Arian Christianity; following Germanic tradition, all of his subjects became Christian as well.
a)
Assign each excerpt a LETTER GRADE (A-, B, C-, D+, F, etc.).
After CRITIQUING each excerpt & RE-WRITE them on a separate sheet of paper.
a)
Into Persia is where Islam of Muhammedan began. Muhammed was profit who was born in the city of Mecca.
Muhammed was said to be visited by the archangle Gabrial who told Muhammed to go out and tell the people, of
God. The first people he converted was his family and clan. The city kicked Muhammed out so he made a
pilgrimage to Medina where he was able to increas his followers.
b) The first event that happened to make these empires was the decision by Constantine to divided the empire that was
left into the east and west. The east eventually became what we know as the Byzantine empire. This empire stayed
very close to its Roman predecesor. It had many of the same customs and culture. This was different from the west
because the west still had some Roman customs, but it was taken over largely by Germanic tribes.
c)
There are many relationships between religion and politics in these societies but you have to keep them separate. It
can be a political matter because they works of these religions are really subversive. There was many decisions to
be made about all the religious beliefs. On the other hand there is the religious half. We have a few religions
floating around during this time so people had to decide what they believed in . Many people gave up their old
beliefs to convert to Christianity or to the faith of Muhammad.
d) With the Roman Empire crumbling people began to realize that change was in order. With new religious ideas and
practices spreading it is easy to see how the idea of change could be comforting. The Roman Empire; now divided
into three parts the Byzantine, Islamic, and Western European, was lost in war, economic struggle, and political
fued. Each civilization, the three mentioned earlier, had it’s own little struggle to deal with.
e)
The third descendant of Rome was Islam. The prophet Muhammed and his people believed that there was one
God, Allah, but Mohammed did not believe in Christianity, for he did not believe Christ was a God, he also thought
that religion must be about sacrifice and discipline, so he created his own religion. His wife was his first follower,
and he spread the religion to others like him and they wrote the pages of the Qur’an as they went, creating standards
by which people should live.
f)
Islam was spread by Muhammad and his followers. People believed in both Jesus & Muhammad because they
spoke the words of God. Islams spread like Christianitys was violent in many ways. Christians were persecuted
and fed to the lions in the arenas, so to believe in Christianity could lead to death. Not believing in Islam could
lead to death, Muhammad and his followers were quite powerful and Muhammad insisted on Islam being the only
religion.
g) The way their territories were attacked and divided amongst the invaders was an important aspect of the societies.
The way new rulers dealt with the religion already in place in their newly conquered lands. Their languages were
different as well as their styles of dress and traditions. The emphasis on scholarly knowledge also differed from
place to place.
h) In the West the peoples were more widespread. There were many monophysites and other religions that settled
there. Not too much controversy arose. The development of Islam was an interesting achievement during this
time. Muhhamed of Mecca, travelled far and wide spreading the news of his new religion.
i)
An important similarity between the Byzantine empire and the Islamic empire was trade. Byzantine traders were
allowed into Syria, and visa versa for special periods of time. Another similarity was each society was trying to
gain or regain territory. The Germanic tribes of the west were attempting to carve their individual countries; the
Byzantine empire was trying to early hold off the Sassanids and later regain territory lost to Islam; and Islam was
trying to gain more territory and spread Muhammad’s teachings.
j)
From 260-268 the Eastern Empire was renamed the Byzantine Empire. Arabs took over the Empire between 630730. The Muslims conquored the Empire when the Attacked in Syria with ease and moved East into Egypt in the
640s. The Hagia Sophia changed from a Catholic church into a Islamic temple.
k) The people in the east believed the Byzantium was the new rome and called themselves romans. The Byzantines
thought that this new place was the new rome in its purest form. Because their weren’t any invading tribes to fight
against and they also didn’t have to adapt to their new customs and lifestyle.