Download We Don`t Understand People

Inauthentic Communication
in Business:
We Don’t Understand
People
Lou Solomon
Interact Authentically
www.InteractAuthentically.com
The future economy demands that we relate to
people before businesses, before the economy.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
The ability to inform,
to inspire,
to spark an idea
in the mind of another
is what makes us
miraculously human.
And the more that we
use and understand
this power,
the more intentional we
can be about creating
cultures of authentic
communication.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
The more we unwittingly divorce ourselves from authentic
communication, the less human (and
we become.
gossip
less powerful)
little lies
hidden agendas
generalization
yes person
lip service
untruths
sucking up
deceit
dramatizing
spin
sugarcoating
lazy language
distrust
acquiescence
CYA
invulnerability
denial
alibi
manipulation
www.InteractAuthentically.com
We don’t set out to negotiate inauthentic relationships.
We come with the creative properties to be
authentic…and then we learn what is expected.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
You’ve got to learn how to play the game.
Without intention
It’s not personal. It’s just business.
we become a
We’ve always done it this way.
collection of the roles we play
for other people.
If you want to get ahead...
You‟ll never make a living doing that.
Work hard. Play hard. That’s what we do.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
Our subconscious learns
to assess the situation and
give us the “right” thing to say.
—“By the way, how’s your team
pacing?
— [We’re dying] “Good!”
A casual
exchange is
one thing,
but when
it really

counts,
you need to
practice
intentional
authenticity.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
The good news:
The bad news:
Authenticity is not
Something you have
to learn. You‟re born
with it. It‟s who you are.
A protective vine of
subconscious personae has
grown over you. It takes work
to uncover your authenticity.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
We begin by considering the drivers behind
Inauthentic relationships in the workplace.
Fear of Failure
Fear of Incompetence
Fear of Emotions
Fear of Stopping
www.InteractAuthentically.com

Henri Fayol (1841-1925) was a
French mining engineer and a
pioneer in business administration.
Most of the management principles
in use today can be traced to his
work. Fayol gave us helpful tools
but his legacy was about running
an operations not managing
human beings toward their
greatness.
www.InteractAuthentically.com

When we fear a
negative reaction to
not “getting it right”
within the power
structure of the
organization, we
perform to avoid
failure.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
ego

The ego is our primitive instinct for
survival. This is not such a bad thing
when a pterodactyl is overhead. But
left unchecked, the business ego‟s
fight for survival can come at a cost.
The cost is authentic communication
and team trust.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
FIGHTING LINGO
of the Business Ego
DEFENSIVE Strategy
Behind pacing
On PROBATION
HOSTILE take-over
FRONTLINE workers
Post-MORTEM meeting
TACTICS
Eat what you KILL
OPERATION
KICK some butt
This is not the hill to DIE on
HEADS will roll
Drop-DEAD deadline
BLOOD in the
water
Winning is the only
thing that matters
MISSION critical
You could LOSE your
shirt
POST-MORTEM
meeting
Every man for himself
DEBRIEF the day
LAY-OFFS
TARGET Audience
www.InteractAuthentically.com

Innovation? We love
the idea of innovation.
We love talking about
innovation. But you
can‟t experiment if
you‟re going to make
budget.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
We don‟t reward employees for
innovation because we‟re afraid
of making mistakes that cost
money.
www.InteractAuthentically.com

We like the idea of collaboration, too.
But our best idea for negotiation is to be cunning and deceitful.
We‟ve filled the stores with how-to-get-what-you-want books.
www.InteractAuthentically.com

We usually miss the
fact that trust is the fuel
for performance. And
creating a great future
takes authenticity,
transparency and
brains.
.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
Being the center of
attention and looking
incompetent is the
stuff of our
nightmares.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
It‟s fine for a
youngster to
wobble when
learning to walk.
We don‟t ridicule,
“Hey—that kid
doesn‟t know how
to walk!”
www.InteractAuthentically.com

As adults we don‟t like the
struggle that comes from
being a beginner. We
repeat processes until we
get competent at doing
everything one way.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
In 1966 Bob Dylan was the hero of folk music.
One night he played the Newport Festival
stunned his fans by swapping his acoustic
guitar for an electric guitar. He was literally
booed off the stage and called a traitor.
Dylan is recognized for helping to shape the
direction of popular music by picking up a
different guitar.
A hero is someone who understands the
responsibility that comes with his freedom.
–Bob Dylan
www.InteractAuthentically.com

Innovation does not
come from replication
and competence.
Innovation springs
from the risk of making
mistakes and
struggling with a new
way of doing things.
www.InteractAuthentically.com

www.InteractAuthentically.com
We‟re so busy
being busy, we
forget to truly
participate in
our workplace
communication
—which is
the one thing
that has the
power
to create
cultures of trust
and high
performance.

When we are distracted we can‟t
possibly hope to say what wants
to be said. What wants to be said
is more intuitive than rational.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
For centuries we
followed Aristotle‟s
belief that people
were essentially
rational, and made
decisions based on
persuasive
 procedure and
good argument—
that the world was a
logical puzzle we
could solve.
www.InteractAuthentically.com

In the 80‟s Walter Fisher brought forth
the idea that we are essentially
storytellers who make decisions based
on good reason: matters of history,
values, character—
and one might say, the heart.
Stories people tell about their lives are a
means of „knowing‟ and a way of „telling‟
about communication experience
www.InteractAuthentically.com
This was hard to
swallow for
those of us in
“serious”
disciplines. We
began to
discredit
matters of the
heart with two
lethal words.
“touchyfeely.”
Only ignorance
denies the power of
the heart.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
There is a physical
connection to gut
knowing and the
knowing of the
heart. There are
major neuronal
networks not only in
the brain but around
the intestinal track
and the heart. Only
ignorance denies
the power of the
heart.
,
There is a physical connection for
gut knowing, intuition and the
knowing of the heart. There are
major neuronal networks not only
in the magnificent brain but
around the heart and in the
intestinal track.
Only ignorance denies the power
of the heart.
Even the brain has
heart.
Dr. Roger Sperry rocked
the world by identifying the
“Right Brain” as the home
of creativity, feeling and
intuition; and the "Left
Brain" as the computerlike seat of analytic
thought. Both sides of the
brain allow us to access
the symphony of human
genius.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
Genius is more
than IQ.

In Emotional
Intelligence: Why It
Can Matter More Than
IQ, Daniel Goleman
explores the human
competencies of selfawareness and
empathy, as well as
the arts of listening,
resolving conflict and
cooperation.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
Jane Goodall
was once
criticized for
“soft” science.
Instead of tagging
and numbering
animals, she
named each
individual. She
relied not only on
facts but human
empathy and
understanding to
study the chimps.
She made a
landmark
discovery that
chimps were using
tools.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
INTENTIONAL AUTHENTICITY
Our power comes from relating to people, not businesses.
Always treat
others as
you wish
to be
treated yourself.
Empathy is the act of connecting with people and understanding the
other side of an issue.
There is nothing touchy-feely about it.
We are starved for the human connection in business.
We all love that rare moment when someone breaks through the noise
and says something real.
Everyone knows something significant has happened. And, we’ve been
given permission to speak honestly about our own experience.
www.InteractAuthentically.com

Authentic leaders have the
best interests of the company
and its employees at heart.
And the heart represents the
pulse that keeps us going. It
represents our quest for
meaning. It represents the
spirit and wisdom employees
are seeking today.
If you want to be a leader, you
must be a real human being.
–Confucian theory
www.InteractAuthentically.com

Problems in business don‟t
come from failed initiatives.
Problems come from the fact
that we don‟t understand people.
We don‟t understand the power
of trust.
www.InteractAuthentically.com
The future economy demands that we relate to
people before businesses, before the economy.
www.InteractAuthentically.com