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A Guide To Complete & Clear Sentences
A well constructed sentence is the building block of all good writing. Poor sentence
structure will diminish and obscure the most brilliant and original thinking. Keep this
guide in the writing section of your notebook. Shifts in construction, number, tense,
person and voice, as well as lack of parallelism (See pages 4 and 5) need your
specific attention in the next two weeks. Honors English 3 students are expected to
become masters of complete, clear, and effective sentences.
WRITING COMPLETE SENTENCES
With a few exceptions in special situations, you should use complete sentences when you write.
By definition, a complete sentence expresses a complete thought. However, a sentence may actually
contain several ideas, not just one. The trick is getting those ideas to work together to form a clear,
interesting sentence that expresses your exact meaning.
Among the most common errors that writers make when attempting to write complete and
effective sentences are fragments, comma splices, run-ons, and rambling sentences.
A fragment is a group of words used as a sentence. It is not a sentence, though, because it
lacks a subject, a verb, or some other essential part. That missing part causes it to be an incomplete
thought.
Fragment:
Lettuce all over the table. (This phrase lacks a verb.)
Sentence:
Lettuce flew all over the table.
Fragment:
When Herbie served the salad. (This clause does not convey a complete
thought. We need to know what happened “when Herbie served the salad.”)
Sentence:
When Herbie served the salad, lettuce flew all over the table.
Fragment:
Kate asked, “Is that what you call a tossed salad?” Laughing and scooping up a
pile of lettuce. (This is a sentence followed by a fragment. This error can be
corrected by combining the fragment with the sentence.)
Laughing and scooping up a pile of lettuce, Katie asked, “Is that what you
call a tossed salad?”
Sentence:
A comma splice is a mistake made when two independent clauses are connected (“spliced”)
with only a comma. The comma is not enough: a period, semicolon, or conjunction is needed.
Splice:
The concert crowd had been waiting in the hot sun for two hours, many were
beginning to show their impatience by chanting and clapping.
Corrected:
The concert crowd had been waiting in the hot sun for two hours, and
many were beginning to show their impatience by chanting and clapping.
(Coordinating conjunction and has been added.)
Corrected:
The concert crowd had been waiting in the hot sun for two hours; many
were beginning to show their impatience by chanting and clapping.
(Comma has been changed to a semicolon.)
A rambling sentence is one that seems to go on and on. It is often the result of the overuse of
the word and.
Rambling:
The intruder entered through the window and moved sideways down the hall and
under a stairwell and he stood waiting in the shadows.
Corrected:
The intruder entered through the window. He moved sideways down the
hall and under a stairwell where he stood, waiting in the shadows.
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WRITING CLEAR SENTENCES
Writing is thinking. Before you can write clearly, you must think clearly. Nothing is more
frustrating for the reader than writing that has to be reread just to understand its basic meaning.
Look carefully at the common errors that follow. Do you recognize any of them as errors you
sometimes make in your own writing? If so, use this section as a checklist when you revise. Conquering
these errors will help to make your writing clear and readable.
An incomplete comparison is the result of leaving out a word or words that are necessary to
show exactly what is being compared to what.
Incomplete:
I get along better with Rosa than my sister. (Do you mean that you get along
better with Rosa than you get along with your sister? . . . or that you get along
better with Rosa than your sister does?)
Clear:
I get along better with Rosa than my sister does.
Ambiguous wording is wording that is unclear because it has two or more possible meanings. It
often occurs when sentences are combined.
Ambiguous:
Mike decided to take his new convertible to the drive-in movie, which turned out
to be a real horror story. (What turned out to be a real horror story—Mike’s taking his new convertible to
the drive-in, or the movie?)
Clear:
Mike decided to take his new convertible to the drive-in movie, a decision
that turned out to be a real horror story.
An indefinite reference is a problem caused by careless use of pronouns. As a result, the
reader is not sure what the pronoun(s) is referring to.
Indefinite:
In To Kill a Mockingbird, she describes the problems faced by Atticus Finch and
his family. (Who is she?)
Clear:
In To Kill a Mockingbird, the author, Harper Lee, describes the problems
faced by Atticus Finch and his family.
Indefinite:
As he pulled his car up to the service window, it made a strange rattling sound.
(Which rattled, the car or the window?)
Clear:
His car made a strange ratting sound as he pulled up to the service
window.
Misplaced modifiers are modifiers that have been placed incorrectly; therefore, the meaning of
the sentence is not clear.
Misplaced:
We have an assortment of combs for physically active people with unbreakable
teeth. (People with unbreakable teeth?)
Corrected:
For physically active people, we have an assortment of combs with
unbreakable teeth.
Dangling modifiers are modifiers that appear to modify the wrong word or a word that isn’t in the
sentence.
Dangling:
Trying desperately to get under the fence, Paul’s mother called him. (The phrase
Trying desperately to get under the fence appears to modify Paul’s mother.)
Corrected:
Trying desperately to get under the fence, Paul heard his mother call him.
(Here the phrase modifies Paul.)
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Dangling:
After standing in line for five hours, the manager announced that all the tickets
had been sold. (In this sentence, it appears as if the manager had been standing
in line for five hours.)
Corrected:
After standing in line for five hours, Ian heard the manager announce that
all the tickets had been sold. (Now the phrase clearly modifies the person who
has been standing in line: Ian.)
WRITING NATURAL SENTENCES
Samuel Johnson, a noted writer of the eighteenth century, was undoubtedly talking about one of
the greatest temptations facing writers—to use lots of words (big words, clever words, fancy words). For
some reason, we get into our heads the idea that writing simply, is not writing effectively. Nothing could
be further from the truth.
The very best writing is ordinary and natural, not fancy or artificial. That’s why it is so important to
master the art of free writing. It is your best chance at a personal style. A personal voice will produce
natural, honest passages you will not have to strike out. Learn from the following samples, which are
wordy and artificial.
Deadwood is wording that fills up lots of space but does not add anything important or new to the
overall meaning.
Wordy:
At this point in time, I feel the study needs additional work before the
subcommittee can recommend it be resubmitted for consideration.
Concise:
The study needs more work.
Flowery language is writing that uses more or bigger words than needed. It is writing that often
contains too many adjectives or adverbs.
Flowery:
The cool, fresh breeze, which came like a storm in the night, lifted me to the
exhilarating heights from which I had been previously suppressed by the
incandescent cloud in the learning center.
Concise:
The cool breeze was a refreshing change from the muggy classroom air.
A trite expression is one that is overused and stale; as a result, it sounds neither sincere nor
natural.
Trite: It gives me a great deal of pleasure to present to you this plaque as a token of our
appreciation. Let me read it.
Natural:
The words on this plaque speak for all of us.
Jargon is language used in a certain profession or by a particular group of people. It is usually
very technical and not at all natural.
Jargon:
I’m having conceptual difficulty with these employee mandates.
Natural:
I don’t understand these work orders.
A euphemism is a word or phrase that is substituted for another because it is considered a less
offensive way of saying something. (Avoid overusing euphemisms.)
Euphemism:
I am so exasperated that I could expectorate.
Natural:
I am so mad, I could spit.
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Wordiness occurs when a word (or a synonym for that word) is repeated unnecessarily.
Redundant:
He had a way of keeping my attention by the way he raised and lowered his
voice on every single word he spoke.
Concise:
He kept my attention by raising and lowering his voice when he spoke.
Double Subject: Some people they don’t use their voices as well as they could. (Drop they since
people is the only subject needed.)
Concise:
Some people don’t use their voices as well as they could.
Tautology:
widow woman, descend down, audible to the ear, return back, unite together,
final outcome (Each phrase says the same thing twice.)
A cliché is an overused word or phrase that springs quickly to mind but just as quickly bores the
user and the audience. A cliché gives the reader nothing new or original to think about—no new insight
into the subject.
Cliché:
Her face was as red as a beet.
Natural:
Her face flushed, turning first a rosy pink, then a red too deep to hide.
WRITING ACCEPTABLE SENTENCES
Shift in construction is a change in the structure or style midway through a sentence.
Shift in number: When a person goes shopping for a used car, he or she (not they) must be
careful not to get a lemon.
Shift in tense:
The trunk should be checked to see that it contains a jack and a spare tire that
are (not should be) in good shape.
Shift in person: One must be careful to watch for heavy, white exhaust or one (not you) can end
up with real engine problems.
Shift in voice:
As you continue to look for the right car (active voice), many freshly painted ones
are sure to be seen (passive voice).
Corrected:
As you continue to look for the right car, you are sure to see many freshly
painted ones. (Both verbs are in the active voice.)
Inconsistent (unparallel) construction occurs when the kind of words or phrases being used
changes in the middle of a sentence.
Inconsistent:
In my hometown, the people pass the time shooting bow, pitching horeshoes,
and at softball games. (The sentence switches from the –ing words, shooting and pitching, to at softball
games.)
Consistent:
In my hometown, the people pass the time shooting bow, pitching
horsehoes, and playing softball. (Now all three things being discussed are
–ing words—they are consistent, or parallel.)
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VOICE OF A VERB
Voice indicates whether the subject is acting or being acted upon.
Active voice indicates that the subject of the verb is acting—doing something.
Ben Franklin discovers the secrets of electricity.
Passive voice indicates that the subject of the verb is being acted upon. A passive verb
is a combination of a be verb and a past participle.
The secrets of electricity are discovered by Ben Franklin.
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