Download Test 12 Writing Explanations

Test 12: Writing Explanations
Section 7
3. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
1. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by reducing the subordinate clause
introduced by "being that" to the modifying phrase
"a Southern writer."
Choice (A) involves the use of an improper idiom.
The phrase "being that" is improperly used to
introduce a subordinate clause ("he was a
Southern writer") where it would be more
idiomatic to say, "William Faulkner, who was a
Southern writer."
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because it results in
an illogical sentence. The word "while" indicates a
contrast in ideas where there is no contrast.
Choice (D) involves the use of an improper idiom.
It provides the modifying phrase "in origin a writer
of the South" where it would be more idiomatic to
use a phrase such as "a writer originally from the
South."
Choice (E) results in an unsatisfactory sentence.
The sentence would be clearer if the awkward
phrase "because of him being" were deleted and
the simple modifying phrase "a writer from the
South" were left.
2. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by replacing the adverb “although,” which
indicates contrast, with the adverb “while,” which
indicates the time during which tadpoles change.
Choice (A) involves improper modification. The
adverb "although" illogically indicates a contrast
between the two parts of the sentence, which are
not contrasting ideas.
Choice (C) involves the use of a vague pronoun.
It is not clear what the pronoun “it” refers to.
Choice (D) results in an illogical sentence. The
phrase "due to" illogically indicates that the
development of tadpoles into frogs is caused by
their remaining in water.
Choice (E) involves the use of a vague pronoun.
The sentence is unsatisfactory because the
pronoun "which" appears to refer to an entire
clause ("Tadpoles... frogs").
Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by replacing the phrase "and no one
notices," with the more idiomatic and parallel
phrase "and have no one notice."
Choice (A) involves the improper use of an idiom.
It provides the phrase "and no one notices" where
it would be more idiomatic to use the phrase "and
have no one notice."
Choice (C) involves improper diction. The
sentence uses the word "notice" as a noun. This
use results in an illogical sentence because the
noun "notice" has a different meaning from the
verb "notice."
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the use of
the preposition "without," in combination with the
phrase "no one," results in a double negative.
Choice (E) involves wordiness. The phrase "the
result of" is awkward and unnecessary.
4. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (A) is correct. The verbs "begin" and
"culminate" are both in present tense, and the two
verbs join with prepositional phrases to produce
parallel constructions.
Choice (B) creates a sentence fragment. The only
verbs (“begin” and “culminate”) are in a
dependent clause introduced by “that,” so a
complete thought is not stated.
Choice (C) involves incorrect tense sequence.
The present perfect tense of the verb "have
begun" is not consistent with the present tense of
"culminate."
Choice (D) fails to maintain parallelism. The
verbal "culminating" is not parallel with the earlier
verb "have begun."
Choice (E) exhibits incorrect tense sequence. The
past tense of the verb "began" is not consistent
with the present tense of "are culminated."
5. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Explanation for Correct Answer D: Choice (D)
is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
using a clause with a clearly identified actor—the
pronoun "they" (which refers to "most
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Test 12: Writing Explanations
physicians").
Choice (A) involves loose modification and
inappropriate word order. The introductory phrase,
"Because of ignoring its potential," is far removed
from the only noun in the sentence it could
logically modify—"physicians."
Choice (B) uses an inappropriate idiom. After the
conjunction "because," the phrase "of their
ignoring" is less idiomatic than "they ignore."
Choice (C) creates a fragment. Since the phrase
contains no verb (only the verbals "ignoring" and
"rejecting"), it does not state a complete thought.
Choice (E) displays improper modification. The
verbal "caused" does not logically modify the
noun immediately before it, "physicians."
Choice (B) produces a sentence fragment. Since
the only verb, “equals,” is within a dependent
clause, the sentence does not state a complete
thought.
Choice (C) makes an illogical comparison. It
compares a person, “Clara Barton,” with the
influence of another person (“that of Florence
Nightingale”).
Choice (E) involves a sentence fragment. The
only verbs, "was" and "equals," are in dependent
clauses, so a complete thought is not stated.
8. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
6. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (A) is correct. The dependent clause
introduced by "which" comes immediately after
the noun it modifies, "park," and the adverb
phrase "During the summer months" comes near
the verb it modifies, "visit."
Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by replacing the vague pronoun "which"
with the noun "belief" to identify Willy Loman's
mistaken idea.
Choice (B) displays improper modification. The
introductory phrase ("Known for its waterfalls and
rock formations") cannot logically modify the noun
that immediately follows, "people."
Choice (A) exhibits loose pronoun reference. The
pronoun "which" refers to the idea expressed by
an entire clause ("that his sons have no flaws"),
not to any specific noun.
Choice (C) involves improper modification and
incorrect word order. Since the phrase "known for
its waterfalls and rock formations" cannot logically
modify the noun "months," the phrase needs to be
placed next to the noun it does apparently modify,
"park."
Choice (C) involves loose pronoun reference. The
pronoun "which" refers to the idea expressed by
an entire clause ("that his sons have no flaws"),
not to any specific noun.
Choice (D) displays wordiness. The phrase "of
which" is not needed.
Choice (E) uses improper coordination. It joins
two complete thoughts ("In Death . . . no flaws"
and "his believing . . . entire family") with only a
comma.
7. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Explanation for Correct Answer D: Choice (D)
is correct. It avoids the error of the original by
forming an independent clause with “Clara
Barton” as the subject and “was” as the verb.
Choice (A) creates a sentence fragment. Since
the only verb, “equals,” is within a dependent
clause, the sentence does not state a complete
thought.
Choice (D) uses incorrect word order. Since the
adverbial phrase "during the summer months"
tells when people went to the park (not when it
was known for its waterfalls and rocks), the
phrase is improperly separated from the verb it
modifies, "had visited."
Choice (E) exhibits incorrect word order. Since
the adverbial phrase "during the summer months"
tells when people go to the park (not when they
know about its waterfalls and rocks), the phrase is
improperly separated from the verb it modifies,
"visit."
9. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by including the noun "promises," to which
the pronoun "them" can refer.
Choice (A) exhibits vague pronoun reference.
The sentence contains no noun to which the
pronoun "them" (apparently meaning "promises")
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Test 12: Writing Explanations
can refer.
"American and European artists."
Choice (B) displays vague pronoun reference.
The pronoun "them" (apparently meaning
"promises") does not refer to any specific noun in
the sentence.
Choice (C) displays wordiness. The phrase "of the
period" is not needed since it merely repeats the
time specified earlier by the adjective
"contemporary."
Choice (D) involves vague pronoun reference.
The sentence provides no noun to which the
pronoun "them" (apparently meaning "promises")
can refer.
Choice (D) exhibits wordiness. The phrase "those
of" is not needed and confusing since the phrase
also contains the noun "pictures."
12. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (E) uses improper coordination. It joins
two complete thoughts ("The candidate's . . .
improve services" and "he failed . . . after the
election") with only a comma.
Corrected Sentence: By next year the old
vaudeville theatre will have been converted into
two small theaters in which films can be shown.
10. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by describing the need to be rescued in
an independent clause with the pronoun "they" as
its subject.
Choice (A) displays improper modification. The
phrase "having to be rescued" (presumably
referring to students) has no noun or pronoun to
modify.
Choice (B) uses improper coordination. It uses a
semicolon to join unequal sentence parts (a
complete thought before the semicolon and a
dependent clause after it).
Choice (D) involves improper modification. The
sentence contains no noun that the connecting
pronoun "which" can modify.
The error in this sentence occurs at (A), which
involves an improper sequence of tenses. The
pluperfect verb phrase, "had been," does not
agree with the phrase "By next year" or with the
tense of the verb phrase "can be shown" later in
the sentence.
There is no error at (B). The adjective "small"
properly modifies the noun "theaters."
There is no error at (C). The preposition "in"
properly combines with the pronoun "which" to
refer to the two small theaters where the films can
be shown.
There is no error at (D). The word "shown," a past
participle of the verb "to show," properly combines
with the phrase "can be" to produce an
appropriate verb phrase.
13. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (E) exhibits ineffective coordination. It
uses the connecting phrase "and so" to join two
complete thoughts, but this linkage incorrectly
suggests that the first clause describes a cause
and the second a result.
11. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by including the words "those by" so that
watercolors from China are compared with
watercolors from Europe and America.
Choice (A) contains an illogical comparison. It
compares things, "watercolors," with people,
"American and European artists."
Choice (B) makes an illogical comparison. It
compares things, "watercolors," with people,
Corrected Sentence: Some scholars studying
the writings of Emily Brontë have become
increasingly interested in the relationships
between her siblings and her.
Explanation for Correct Answer D: The error in
this sentence occurs at (D), where an improper
pronoun case is used. The nominative pronoun
"she" is used in the prepositional phrase
introduced by the word "between" instead of the
objective pronoun "her."
There is no error at (A). The participle “studying”
properly introduces the modifying phrase,
“studying the writings of Emily Brontë,” which
modifies “scholars.”
There is no error at (B). The plural verb phrase
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Test 12: Writing Explanations
"have become" agrees with its plural subject,
"scholars."
16. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
There is no error at (C). The adverb "increasingly"
properly modifies the adjective "interested."
Explanation for Correct Answer E: There is no
error in this sentence.
14. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
There is no error at (A). The subordinating
conjunction "Although" properly introduces a
subordinate adverbial clause.
Explanation for Correct Answer E: There is no
error in this sentence.
There is no error at (A). The pronoun "who,"
which can be either singular or plural, agrees with
its plural subject, "John Moffet and Pablo
Morales," and is properly used to introduce a
subordinate clause.
There is no error at (B). The plural verb "were"
agrees with its plural subject, "who."
There is no error at (C). The past-tense verb "set"
functions logically within the 1984 time frame of
the sentence.
There is no error at (D). The plural noun phrase,
"world records," properly indicates that Moffet and
Morales had separate record-setting
performances.
15. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Corrected Sentence: Both Dorothy Sayers and
Carolyn Heilbrun have written scholarly works as
well as popular murder mysteries, demonstrating
a diversity of talents and interests.
The error in this sentence occurs at (A), where
the idiom is inappropriate. The connecting word
"plus" is not the correct term for use in a phrase
beginning with "both."
There is no error at (B). The plural verb "have"
agrees with its plural subject ("Dorothy Sayers"
and "Carolyn Heilbrun"), and the present perfect
tense is appropriate to indicate action begun in
the past and continuing to the present.
There is no error at (C). The phrase "as well as"
functions properly after the noun "works" to
indicate the addition of another item, "popular
murder mysteries."
There is no error at (D). The noun "diversity"
functions correctly as the object of the verbal
"demonstrating," and "of" is the appropriate
preposition to introduce a phrase modifying
"diversity."
There is no error at (B). The word "predicted"
combines with the word "had" to produce an
appropriate tense of the verb. The verb tense
indicates that the coach's prediction happened
before the fans' reaction. The relative pronoun
"that" properly introduces the noun clause to state
what the coach predicted.
There is no error at (C). The plural verb "were"
agrees with its plural subject, "fans," and its tense
combines logically with those of the other verbs in
the sentence.
There is no error at (D). The prepositional phrase
"of... players" correctly modifies the noun
"success."
17. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Corrected Sentence: Because they must
compete with a large chain of super-stores that
can afford to charge very low rates for certain
items, the owners of small hardware stores know
that they are unlikely to make much profit and
may, in fact, go bankrupt.
The error in this sentence occurs at (B), where
there is a shift of pronoun. The second-person
pronoun "you" does not agree with the thirdperson pronoun "they" earlier in the sentence
(which in turn refers to the plural subject of the
sentence, "owners").
There is no error at (A). The verb phrase "must
compete" agrees with its subject, "they."
There is no error at (C). The infinitive “to make”
modifies the adjective “unlikely” to produce an
appropriate idiom. Furthermore, the adjective
“much” properly modifies the noun “profit.”
There is no error at (D). The verb phrase "may...
go bankrupt," introduced by the word "and," is
properly parallel with the preceding verb phrase
"are unlikely... profit."
18. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
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Test 12: Writing Explanations
Corrected Sentence: Although science offers the
hope of preventing serious genetic diseases,
there are difficult ethical questions raised by the
possibility of altering human heredity.
The error in this sentence occurs at (B), where
there is a problem with subject-verb agreement.
In this inverted construction, the singular verb "is"
does not agree with its plural subject, "questions."
There is no error at (A). The preposition "of" and
the verbal "preventing" correctly introduce a
phrase that modifies the previous noun, "hope."
There is no error at (C). The verbal "raised" and
the preposition "by" correctly begin a phrase that
modifies the noun "questions."
There is no error at (D). The noun "possibility" is
used correctly as the object of the preposition
"by," and the preposition "of" correctly begins
another phrase that modifies "possibility."
19. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Corrected Sentence: In the nineteenth century,
careers in business and law were prestigious, but
they did not require practitioners to hold college
degrees.
The error in this sentence occurs at (B), where
the number of the pronoun is incorrect. The
singular pronoun "it" does not agree with the
plural noun "careers," to which it refers.
is used in combination with the verb phrase “is
helpful,” where it would be more idiomatic to use
the phrase “in improving.”
There is no error at (B). The plural possessive
pronoun "their" is properly used to refer to the
subject, "chess players."
There is no error at (C). The subordinating
conjunction “even though” properly introduces the
subordinate adverbial clause, “even though no
chess-playing . . . championship.”
There is no error at (D). The word "won," the past
participle of the verb "to win," combines with the
word "has" to produce the appropriate verb tense.
21. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Corrected Sentence: Reaching lengths of twelve
inches, banana slugs are the largest of all the
slug species that inhabit North America.
The error in this sentence occurs at (C), where
the comparative term is incorrect. The phrase
"much larger" implies a comparison between only
two items, not a comparison of banana slugs with
all other slug species in North America.
There is no error at (A). The verbal "Reaching"
properly introduces a participial phrase that
modifies the noun "slugs."
There is no error at (B). The plural verb "are"
agrees with its plural subject, "slugs."
There is no error at (A). The plural verb "were"
agrees with its plural subject, "careers."
There is no error at (C). The verb in past tense,
"did require," is consistent with the earlier pasttense verb, "were," and the adverb "not" is the
appropriate negative word.
There is no error at (D). The verbal "to hold" is the
appropriate phrase to use between the nouns
"practitioners" and "college degrees."
There is no error at (D). The plural verb "inhabit"
agrees with the plural noun phrase "all the slug
species," and the present tense of "inhabit" is
consistent with the tense of the earlier verb "are."
22. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Corrected Sentence: Maya Madera proudly wore
her sisterʼs most popular invention, a watch for
winter campers that flashes the temperature in
lighted numerals and sends out a loud alarm
when one presses a button.
20. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Corrected Sentence: Chess players find that
playing against a computer is helpful in improving
their skills, even though no chess-playing
computer has yet won a championship.
Explanation for Correct Answer D: The error in
this sentence occurs at (D), where modification is
improper. The phrase "pressing a button" cannot
logically modify the noun just before it, "alarm," or
any other word in the sentence.
The error in this sentence occurs at (A), where an
improper idiom is used. The infinitive “to improve”
There is no error at (A). The adverb
"proudly" (telling how) is used correctly to modify
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Test 12: Writing Explanations
the verb "wore."
appropriate to begin a phrase that modifies
"concerns."
There is no error at (B). The noun phrase "most
popular invention" functions correctly as the direct
object of the verb "wore," and the noun "watch" is
placed properly as an appositive to "invention."
There is no error at (C). The dependent clause
"that flashes the temperature" correctly serves as
an adjective describing the watch.
23. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
There is no error at (D). The noun "plans" serves
correctly as the object of the preposition "about,"
and the preposition "for" appropriately begins
another prepositional phrase that modifies
"plans."
25. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Explanation for Correct Answer E : There is
no error in this sentence.
Corrected Sentence: Obviously, Whistlerʼs
paintings, unlike those of Klee, are conventional
in their subject matter.
The error in this sentence occurs at (B), where
the comparison is not logical. Works of art
("Whistler's paintings") are improperly compared
with an artist ("Klee").
There is no error at (A). The adverb "obviously"
correctly modifies "are" and indicates a high
degree of certainty.
There is no error at (C). The adjective
"conventional" is used appropriately after the
linking verb "are," and the preposition "in"
correctly introduces a phrase that modifies
"conventional."
There is no error at (A). The subordinating
conjunction "Although" properly introduces the
subordinate adverbial clause, "she considers...
complete."
There is no error at (B). The adjective "complete"
properly modifies the noun phrase, "her chemistry
research."
There is no error at (C). The singular verb phrase
"has heeded" agrees with its singular subject,
"she."
There is no error at (D). The singular verb phrase
"is conducting" agrees with its singular subject,
"she," and properly introduces the second half of
the compound predicate of the main clause.
There is no error at (D). The plural pronoun "their"
agrees with the plural noun "paintings," to which it
refers.
24. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Corrected Sentence: A newly formed
organization of homeowners and business people
has met with the transportation department to
voice its concerns about plans for a shopping mall
in the community.
The error in this sentence occurs at (A), where
there is a problem with subject-verb agreement.
The plural verb "have" agrees with the interrupting
nouns ("homeowners and business people") but
not with its singular subject, "organization."
There is no error at (B). The infinitive "to voice"
correctly introduces a verbal phrase that modifies
"met" and indicates the purpose of the meeting.
There is no error at (C). The noun "concerns"
serves correctly as the direct object of the
infinitive "to voice," and the preposition "about" is
26. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Corrected Sentence: Princeton University
officials first broke with a tradition of awarding
honorary degrees only to men when they
awarded such a degree to author Willa Cather.
Explanation for Correct Answer D: The error in
this sentence occurs at (D), where the pronoun
reference is vague. The sentence contains no
singular noun to which the pronoun
"it" (presumably meaning an honorary degree)
can refer.
There is no error at (A). The past tense verb
"broke" is used correctly to describe action
already completed, and the preposition "with" is
used properly to begin a phrase modifying
"broke."
There is no error at (B). The preposition "of" is
used correctly to begin a phrase modifying
"tradition," and the verbal "awarding" functions
properly as the object of the preposition.
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Test 12: Writing Explanations
There is no error at (C). The prepositional phrase
"to men" is used correctly to identify those
awarded honorary degrees.
laryngitis usually causes the vocal cords and
surrounding tissue to swell, thus preventing the
cords from moving freely.
27. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
The error in this sentence occurs at (C), where
the idiom is inappropriate. After the verbal
"preventing" the phrase "to move" is not idiomatic.
Corrected Sentence: His love of politics led him
to volunteer in local campaigns as well as to work
in a government office in the state capital.
Explanation for Correct Answer D: The error in
this sentence occurs at (D), where there is a flaw
in parallelism. The noun phrase "a job" is not
parallel with the earlier verbal phrase "to
volunteer."
There is no error at (A). The past-tense verb "led"
correctly describes actions already completed.
There is no error at (B). Since the pronoun "him"
is the direct object of the verb "led," the objective
case is correct.
There is no error at (C). The connecting phrase
"as well" functions correctly to introduce an
additional activity.
There is no error at (A). The adverb "usually"
correctly modifies the verb "causes," and that
singular verb agrees with its singular subject,
"condition."
There is no error at (B). The connecting word
"thus" is used correctly to link a cause (swelling)
with its effect (prevention of movement).
There is no error at (D). The adverb "freely" is
used correctly to tell how the cords normally move
30. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (E) is correct. Information about the
amount of trash disposed of annually in the state
explains how the state's landfills came to be full.
Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because it deals with
other states; it does not explain how landfills in
the writer's own state became full.
28. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Corrected Sentence: Now that Michiko has
finished the research, she feels reasonably
confident about writing her paper on the rise of
the progressive movement in the United States.
The error in this sentence occurs at (A), where
the tense sequence is incorrect. The past tense of
the verb, "finished," is inappropriate because the
adverb "now" indicates action begun in the past
but continuing until the present (action described
correctly by the present perfect tense).
There is no error at (B). The adjective "confident"
is used correctly after the verb "feels," and the
adverb "reasonably" properly modifies "confident."
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because what is
needed is a sentence about landfills, not
alternatives to landfills.
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because the
information that would fit most logically is not
about the number of landfills but the amount of
garbage that goes into them.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because polluted
water, a byproduct of landfills, is discussed later in
the essay; what is needed here is information
about how the landfills themselves became full.
31. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
There is no error at (C). The prepositional phrase
"about writing" functions properly as an adverb
modifying the adjective "confident."
There is no error at (D). The noun "rise" serves
appropriately as the object of the preposition "on,"
and the preposition "of" introduces another
prepositional phrase that modifies "rise."
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by providing a passive verb phrase, "has
been proposed," and gets rid of the vague
pronoun "they."
29. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because it involves
the use of a vague pronoun. Neither the sentence
nor its context mentions anyone to whom the
pronoun "they" can logically refer.
Corrected Sentence: The condition known as
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the past
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Test 12: Writing Explanations
tense of the verb does not fit logically into the
context, which describes the situation entirely in
the present tense.
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because there is
nothing in the sentence to which the pronoun
“they” can logically refer. Furthermore, the adverb
“previously” does not make sense in the context
of the sentence.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because it results in
an illogical sentence. It makes no sense to speak
of proposals that are made to solutions; proposals
are made not to solutions, but to people or groups
of people.
32. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (C) is correct. It combines the two
sentences using the same grammatical structure
in both clauses and linking them with the word
"and."
Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because it involves
improper coordination: the two clauses are
improperly linked with both "and" and "whereas."
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the wordy
phrases “While on the one hand . . . on the other
hand” illogically indicate a contrast between the
two ideas. Also, the sentence does not make
clear the link between landfills and polluted runoff
water; it merely says that both exist.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because it is a
fragment; the sentence has no main verb.
Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the verbs
"is" and "is" do not indicate causal connections;
also, the word "new" changes the meaning of the
first clause, probably making that statement
inaccurate.
33. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (C) is correct. The main clause completes
the sentence by describing a negative reaction
and needs no connecting word to link it with the
introductory dependent clause.
Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because the
coordinating conjunction "and" is used incorrectly
to join an independent clause ("owners of
apartment complexes and other businesses
complain") to an introductory dependent clause
(“Although recycling can be an effective solution”).
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the
coordinating conjunction "yet" is used incorrectly
to join an independent clause ("owners of
apartment complexes and other businesses
complain") to an introductory dependent clause
(“Although recycling can be an effective solution”).
The contrast signalled by "yet" is unnecessary
since "Although" is now at the beginning of the
sentence.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the adverb
"mostly" is unnecessary and alters the meaning of
the original.
Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the past
tense of the verb "complained" is inconsistent with
the present tense of the earlier verb "can be."
34. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (B) is correct. The subordinating
conjunction "Because" clearly establishes a
cause-effect relationship between the benefits
described in the introductory clause and the
tendency described in the main clause.
Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because the
conjunction "as" may suggest only that the two
conditions exist at the same time, not that one
causes the other.
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because it uses
incorrect coordination. Two complete thoughts
("However, local governments enjoy . . . from
business and industry" and "they tend . . . to
recycle") are joined by only a comma.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the phrase
"In addition to" does not suggest a cause-effect
relationship.
Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the pronoun
"they" unnecessarily repeats the subject of the
sentence, "Local governments."
35. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (B) is correct. The dependent clause
"who are concerned" is an appropriate idiom to
follow the pronoun "us," and the entire phrase
uses no unnecessary words.
Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because, after the
pronoun "us," the verbal phrase "being
concerned" is less idiomatic than the dependent
clause "who are oncerned."
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Test 12: Writing Explanations
Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because it
inappropriately separates the pronoun "those"
from the prepositional phrase "of us."
volcano"). The opening phrase ("Haleakala...
high") now has no verb and is left unattached to
the sentence.
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the phrase
"being among those" is not needed.
Choice (C) results in a sentence fragment. The
use of an improper verb form ("being" instead of
"is") leaves the sentence grammatically
incomplete.
Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the words
"those being" are not necessary.
Choice (E) involves improper coordination. The
clause preceding the semicolon is incomplete
because it has no main verb.
Section 10
3. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
1. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by changing the second independent
clause to a verb phrase ("have endangered") that
is parallel to the earlier verb phrase ("have
overbuilt") in the new compound predicate.
Choice (A) uses improper coordination. It joins
two complete thoughts ("In their zeal . . .
developers have overbuilt" and "thereby they
endanger fragile coastlines") with only a comma.
Choice (B) displays improper coordination. It
places one complete thought ("they endanger
fragile coastlines as a result") immediately after
another ("In their zeal . . . developers have
overbuilt") with no conjunction or punctuation
between them.
Choice (D) exhibits improper coordination. It uses
a semicolon to join unequal sentence parts (a
complete thought before the semicolon and a
phrase after it).
Choice (E) involves improper coordination. It joins
two complete thoughts ("In their zeal . . .
developers have overbuilt" and "the fragile
coastlines are endangered by this") with only a
comma.
2. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by providing the verb "is" to complete the
predicate of the sentence.
Choice (A) is a sentence fragment. The sentence
is grammatically incomplete because it has no
main verb.
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the word "it"
introduces an independent clause ("it is...
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by using a colon between the main
clauses as is appropriate when the second clause
explains the idea in the first clause.
Choice (A) involves the use of an improper idiom.
The word "being" is used to introduce the clause,
"it was her plan," where it would be more
idiomatic to introduce it with "because" or to
separate the clauses with a colon.
Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because it involves
the use of an improper idiom. The clause, "she
should have credit for it," is introduced by the
phrase, "being that," where it would be more
idiomatic to introduce it with "since" or "because."
Choice (C) involves the use of a vague pronoun.
It is not clear to whom the pronoun "they" refers.
Choice (D) involves a lack of clarity. The
confusing word order makes the meaning of the
sentence unclear.
4. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by providing the adverb "When" instead of
the repetitive adverbial phrase, "At the time at
which."
Choice (A) involves unnecessary repetition. The
phrase "At the time at which" is used to introduce
the subordinate clause, where the adverb "When"
would be simpler and clearer.
Choice (C) involves an improper sequence of
verb tenses. It provides a past-tense verb
("approached") instead of the present-tense verb
that is needed to match the present-tense verbs
in the main clause of the sentence.
Page 9 of 12
Test 12: Writing Explanations
Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because it involves
an improper sequence of verb tenses. The
pluperfect verb "had approached" does not match
the present tense of the other verbs in the
sentence.
Choice (E) involves the use of an improper idiom.
It provides an infinitive phrase ("to leave...
innovation") where it would be more idiomatic to
use a subordinate clause introduced by the
relative pronoun "that."
Choice (E) involves the use of an improper idiom.
It provides the phrase "While temperatures
approaching absolute zero," where it would be
more idiomatic to use a clause introduced by the
adverb "When."
7. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by changing the vague phrase "in Russia"
to "those of Russia," where the pronoun "those"
clearly refers to musicians.
5. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by using two parallel nouns, "information"
and "program," to name the two things
participants expect.
Choice (A) fails to maintain parallelism. The
verbal phrase "gaining information" is not parallel
with the earlier noun "program."
Choice (C) does not maintain parallelism. The
verbal phrase "being informed" is not parallel with
the earlier noun "program."
Choice (D) has a flaw in parallelism. The verbal
phrase "being informed" is not parallel with the
earlier noun "program."
Choice (E) exhibits improper coordination. It
places one complete thought ("in addition . . . gain
information") immediately after another
("Participants . . . of outstanding speakers") with
no conjunction or punctuation to connect them.
Choice (A) involves the use of a vague modifying
phrase. It is not clear whether the phrase "in
Russia" refers to inspiration or to musicians.
Choice (C) involves the use of a vague pronoun.
It is not clear what the pronoun "this" refers to.
Choice (D) results in an illogical sentence. There
is nothing in the sentence to which the pronoun
"which" can logically refer.
Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because it results in
an illogical sentence. There is nothing in the
sentence of which Russia could logically be an
example.
8. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by providing the noun "watches" in place
of the vague pronoun "they."
6. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (A) involves the use of a vague pronoun.
There is no plural noun in the sentence to which
the pronoun "they" can logically refer.
Choice (A) is correct. It appropriately uses a
subordinate noun clause, introduced by the
relative pronoun "that," to describe a result of the
editor's management style.
Choice (B) involves the use of an improper idiom.
It uses the phrase "it was standard equipment
for... watches" where it would be more idiomatic to
say "watches were standard equipment."
Choice (B) involves noun-pronoun disagreement.
It improperly uses the plural pronoun "they" to
refer to the singular phrase "the editor's
management style."
Choice (C) results in an illogical sentence. The
linking word "with" illogically indicates that the
issuing of watches to military personnel was a
part of the improvement in watchmaking
technology rather than a result of it.
Choice (C) involves the use of a vague pronoun.
There is nothing in the sentence to which the
pronoun "their" can logically refer.
Choice (D) results in an illogical sentence. The
phrase "innovation has so little room left from it"
makes no sense.
Choice (E) involves the use of a vague pronoun. It
is not clear what the pronoun "it" refers to.
9. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by using the specific noun "swimming" to
Page 10 of 12
Test 12: Writing Explanations
replace a wordy phrase ("work in this") containing
a vague pronoun, "this."
Choice (A) involves wordiness and use of a vague
pronoun. In the phrase "work in this," the meaning
of the pronoun "this" is unclear.
Choice (B) displays improper coordination. It joins
two complete thoughts ("Nancy and Carlos will
represent . . . swimming competition" and "they
have done excellent work this year in this") with
only a comma.
Choice (C) uses an ambiguous pronoun. The
pronoun "this" could refer either to swimming or to
swimming competition.
Choice (E) exhibits wordiness. The phrase "work
as swimmers" can be reduced to one word,
"swimming."
10. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by replacing the clause introduced by "it
was" with an appropriate modifying phrase,
"established... Omaha Indian," to describe the
hospital.
Choice (A) involves improper coordination. Two
complete thoughts are linked by only a comma.
Choice (B) involves awkward and illogical
phrasing. The sentence does not make sense
because the word "and" makes the hospital
appear to have existed before it was established.
Choice (C) involves an improper sequence of
tenses. The tense of the verb phrase “has been
established” does not combine logically with the
tense of the verb phrase “could use” earlier in the
sentence.
Choice (D) involves the use of a vague pronoun.
It is not clear what the pronoun "it" refers to.
Choice (B) contains an improper idiom. After the
word "same," the conjunction "than" is
inappropriate because it indicates difference
rather than similarity.
Choice (C) fails to maintain parallelism. The
clause "if one eats" is not parallel with the earlier
verbal "eating."
Choice (E) exhibits wordiness. The words "it does
when" are not needed.
12. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by making the singular verb "has" agree
with its singular subject, "one."
Choice (A) has an error in subject-verb
agreement. Even though the plural verb "have"
agrees with the interrupting noun "students," it
does not agree with its singular subject, "one."
Choice (B) contains an error in subject-verb
agreement. The plural verb "have" agrees with the
interrupting noun "students," but not with with its
singular subject, "one."
Choice (C) exhibits an error in subject-verb
agreement. While the plural verb "have" does
agree with the interrupting noun "students," it
does not agree with its singular subject, "one."
Choice (D) displays loose modification. This word
order fails to make clear exactly what the verbal
phrase "having better than a C grade on a single
test" modifies.
13. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (A) is correct. The singular pronoun "its"
agrees with the earlier singular pronoun "each."
11. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (B) involves a shift in pronoun number.
The plural pronoun "their" does not agree with the
earlier singular pronoun "each."
Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by using the word "as," which pairs with
the earlier word "same" to create an appropriate
idiom indicating similarity.
Choice (C) uses ineffective subordination. The
conjunction "when" incorrectly suggests that the
main relationship between the two clauses is
temporal.
Choice (A) uses an improper idiom. After the word
“same,” the conjunction “than” is inappropriate
because it indicates difference rather than
similarity.
Choice (D) displays disagreement of subject and
verb and also of noun and pronoun. Although the
pronoun "which" refers to the plural noun
"games," neither the singular verb "has" nor the
Page 11 of 12
Test 12: Writing Explanations
singular pronoun "its" agrees with that noun.
Choice (E) uses improper coordination. It joins
two complete thoughts ("In neighborhoods . . .
rope-jumping games" and " they each . . . of their
own") with only a comma.
14. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS
Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the
original by making the singular verb "is" agree
with its singular subject, "flurry."
Choice (A) has an error in subject-verb
agreement. Even though the plural verb "are"
agrees with the interrupting noun "books," it does
not agree with its singular subject, "flurry."
Choice (B) contains an error in subject-verb
agreement. The plural verb "are" agrees with the
interrupting noun "books," but not with with its
singular subject, "flurry."
Choice (C) uses inappropriate idioms. After the
verb "is inspiring," the phrase "into doing" is less
effective than "to do," and "repairing" is less
effective than "repairs."
Choice (E) creates a sentence fragment. Since
the phrase has no verb (only the verbal forms
"inspiring" and "to repair"), it does not state a
complete thought.
Page 12 of 12