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Test 12: Writing Explanations Section 7 3. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS 1. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by reducing the subordinate clause introduced by "being that" to the modifying phrase "a Southern writer." Choice (A) involves the use of an improper idiom. The phrase "being that" is improperly used to introduce a subordinate clause ("he was a Southern writer") where it would be more idiomatic to say, "William Faulkner, who was a Southern writer." Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because it results in an illogical sentence. The word "while" indicates a contrast in ideas where there is no contrast. Choice (D) involves the use of an improper idiom. It provides the modifying phrase "in origin a writer of the South" where it would be more idiomatic to use a phrase such as "a writer originally from the South." Choice (E) results in an unsatisfactory sentence. The sentence would be clearer if the awkward phrase "because of him being" were deleted and the simple modifying phrase "a writer from the South" were left. 2. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by replacing the adverb “although,” which indicates contrast, with the adverb “while,” which indicates the time during which tadpoles change. Choice (A) involves improper modification. The adverb "although" illogically indicates a contrast between the two parts of the sentence, which are not contrasting ideas. Choice (C) involves the use of a vague pronoun. It is not clear what the pronoun “it” refers to. Choice (D) results in an illogical sentence. The phrase "due to" illogically indicates that the development of tadpoles into frogs is caused by their remaining in water. Choice (E) involves the use of a vague pronoun. The sentence is unsatisfactory because the pronoun "which" appears to refer to an entire clause ("Tadpoles... frogs"). Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by replacing the phrase "and no one notices," with the more idiomatic and parallel phrase "and have no one notice." Choice (A) involves the improper use of an idiom. It provides the phrase "and no one notices" where it would be more idiomatic to use the phrase "and have no one notice." Choice (C) involves improper diction. The sentence uses the word "notice" as a noun. This use results in an illogical sentence because the noun "notice" has a different meaning from the verb "notice." Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the use of the preposition "without," in combination with the phrase "no one," results in a double negative. Choice (E) involves wordiness. The phrase "the result of" is awkward and unnecessary. 4. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (A) is correct. The verbs "begin" and "culminate" are both in present tense, and the two verbs join with prepositional phrases to produce parallel constructions. Choice (B) creates a sentence fragment. The only verbs (“begin” and “culminate”) are in a dependent clause introduced by “that,” so a complete thought is not stated. Choice (C) involves incorrect tense sequence. The present perfect tense of the verb "have begun" is not consistent with the present tense of "culminate." Choice (D) fails to maintain parallelism. The verbal "culminating" is not parallel with the earlier verb "have begun." Choice (E) exhibits incorrect tense sequence. The past tense of the verb "began" is not consistent with the present tense of "are culminated." 5. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Explanation for Correct Answer D: Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by using a clause with a clearly identified actor—the pronoun "they" (which refers to "most Page 1 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations physicians"). Choice (A) involves loose modification and inappropriate word order. The introductory phrase, "Because of ignoring its potential," is far removed from the only noun in the sentence it could logically modify—"physicians." Choice (B) uses an inappropriate idiom. After the conjunction "because," the phrase "of their ignoring" is less idiomatic than "they ignore." Choice (C) creates a fragment. Since the phrase contains no verb (only the verbals "ignoring" and "rejecting"), it does not state a complete thought. Choice (E) displays improper modification. The verbal "caused" does not logically modify the noun immediately before it, "physicians." Choice (B) produces a sentence fragment. Since the only verb, “equals,” is within a dependent clause, the sentence does not state a complete thought. Choice (C) makes an illogical comparison. It compares a person, “Clara Barton,” with the influence of another person (“that of Florence Nightingale”). Choice (E) involves a sentence fragment. The only verbs, "was" and "equals," are in dependent clauses, so a complete thought is not stated. 8. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS 6. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (A) is correct. The dependent clause introduced by "which" comes immediately after the noun it modifies, "park," and the adverb phrase "During the summer months" comes near the verb it modifies, "visit." Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by replacing the vague pronoun "which" with the noun "belief" to identify Willy Loman's mistaken idea. Choice (B) displays improper modification. The introductory phrase ("Known for its waterfalls and rock formations") cannot logically modify the noun that immediately follows, "people." Choice (A) exhibits loose pronoun reference. The pronoun "which" refers to the idea expressed by an entire clause ("that his sons have no flaws"), not to any specific noun. Choice (C) involves improper modification and incorrect word order. Since the phrase "known for its waterfalls and rock formations" cannot logically modify the noun "months," the phrase needs to be placed next to the noun it does apparently modify, "park." Choice (C) involves loose pronoun reference. The pronoun "which" refers to the idea expressed by an entire clause ("that his sons have no flaws"), not to any specific noun. Choice (D) displays wordiness. The phrase "of which" is not needed. Choice (E) uses improper coordination. It joins two complete thoughts ("In Death . . . no flaws" and "his believing . . . entire family") with only a comma. 7. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Explanation for Correct Answer D: Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by forming an independent clause with “Clara Barton” as the subject and “was” as the verb. Choice (A) creates a sentence fragment. Since the only verb, “equals,” is within a dependent clause, the sentence does not state a complete thought. Choice (D) uses incorrect word order. Since the adverbial phrase "during the summer months" tells when people went to the park (not when it was known for its waterfalls and rocks), the phrase is improperly separated from the verb it modifies, "had visited." Choice (E) exhibits incorrect word order. Since the adverbial phrase "during the summer months" tells when people go to the park (not when they know about its waterfalls and rocks), the phrase is improperly separated from the verb it modifies, "visit." 9. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by including the noun "promises," to which the pronoun "them" can refer. Choice (A) exhibits vague pronoun reference. The sentence contains no noun to which the pronoun "them" (apparently meaning "promises") Page 2 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations can refer. "American and European artists." Choice (B) displays vague pronoun reference. The pronoun "them" (apparently meaning "promises") does not refer to any specific noun in the sentence. Choice (C) displays wordiness. The phrase "of the period" is not needed since it merely repeats the time specified earlier by the adjective "contemporary." Choice (D) involves vague pronoun reference. The sentence provides no noun to which the pronoun "them" (apparently meaning "promises") can refer. Choice (D) exhibits wordiness. The phrase "those of" is not needed and confusing since the phrase also contains the noun "pictures." 12. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (E) uses improper coordination. It joins two complete thoughts ("The candidate's . . . improve services" and "he failed . . . after the election") with only a comma. Corrected Sentence: By next year the old vaudeville theatre will have been converted into two small theaters in which films can be shown. 10. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by describing the need to be rescued in an independent clause with the pronoun "they" as its subject. Choice (A) displays improper modification. The phrase "having to be rescued" (presumably referring to students) has no noun or pronoun to modify. Choice (B) uses improper coordination. It uses a semicolon to join unequal sentence parts (a complete thought before the semicolon and a dependent clause after it). Choice (D) involves improper modification. The sentence contains no noun that the connecting pronoun "which" can modify. The error in this sentence occurs at (A), which involves an improper sequence of tenses. The pluperfect verb phrase, "had been," does not agree with the phrase "By next year" or with the tense of the verb phrase "can be shown" later in the sentence. There is no error at (B). The adjective "small" properly modifies the noun "theaters." There is no error at (C). The preposition "in" properly combines with the pronoun "which" to refer to the two small theaters where the films can be shown. There is no error at (D). The word "shown," a past participle of the verb "to show," properly combines with the phrase "can be" to produce an appropriate verb phrase. 13. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (E) exhibits ineffective coordination. It uses the connecting phrase "and so" to join two complete thoughts, but this linkage incorrectly suggests that the first clause describes a cause and the second a result. 11. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by including the words "those by" so that watercolors from China are compared with watercolors from Europe and America. Choice (A) contains an illogical comparison. It compares things, "watercolors," with people, "American and European artists." Choice (B) makes an illogical comparison. It compares things, "watercolors," with people, Corrected Sentence: Some scholars studying the writings of Emily Brontë have become increasingly interested in the relationships between her siblings and her. Explanation for Correct Answer D: The error in this sentence occurs at (D), where an improper pronoun case is used. The nominative pronoun "she" is used in the prepositional phrase introduced by the word "between" instead of the objective pronoun "her." There is no error at (A). The participle “studying” properly introduces the modifying phrase, “studying the writings of Emily Brontë,” which modifies “scholars.” There is no error at (B). The plural verb phrase Page 3 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations "have become" agrees with its plural subject, "scholars." 16. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS There is no error at (C). The adverb "increasingly" properly modifies the adjective "interested." Explanation for Correct Answer E: There is no error in this sentence. 14. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS There is no error at (A). The subordinating conjunction "Although" properly introduces a subordinate adverbial clause. Explanation for Correct Answer E: There is no error in this sentence. There is no error at (A). The pronoun "who," which can be either singular or plural, agrees with its plural subject, "John Moffet and Pablo Morales," and is properly used to introduce a subordinate clause. There is no error at (B). The plural verb "were" agrees with its plural subject, "who." There is no error at (C). The past-tense verb "set" functions logically within the 1984 time frame of the sentence. There is no error at (D). The plural noun phrase, "world records," properly indicates that Moffet and Morales had separate record-setting performances. 15. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Corrected Sentence: Both Dorothy Sayers and Carolyn Heilbrun have written scholarly works as well as popular murder mysteries, demonstrating a diversity of talents and interests. The error in this sentence occurs at (A), where the idiom is inappropriate. The connecting word "plus" is not the correct term for use in a phrase beginning with "both." There is no error at (B). The plural verb "have" agrees with its plural subject ("Dorothy Sayers" and "Carolyn Heilbrun"), and the present perfect tense is appropriate to indicate action begun in the past and continuing to the present. There is no error at (C). The phrase "as well as" functions properly after the noun "works" to indicate the addition of another item, "popular murder mysteries." There is no error at (D). The noun "diversity" functions correctly as the object of the verbal "demonstrating," and "of" is the appropriate preposition to introduce a phrase modifying "diversity." There is no error at (B). The word "predicted" combines with the word "had" to produce an appropriate tense of the verb. The verb tense indicates that the coach's prediction happened before the fans' reaction. The relative pronoun "that" properly introduces the noun clause to state what the coach predicted. There is no error at (C). The plural verb "were" agrees with its plural subject, "fans," and its tense combines logically with those of the other verbs in the sentence. There is no error at (D). The prepositional phrase "of... players" correctly modifies the noun "success." 17. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Corrected Sentence: Because they must compete with a large chain of super-stores that can afford to charge very low rates for certain items, the owners of small hardware stores know that they are unlikely to make much profit and may, in fact, go bankrupt. The error in this sentence occurs at (B), where there is a shift of pronoun. The second-person pronoun "you" does not agree with the thirdperson pronoun "they" earlier in the sentence (which in turn refers to the plural subject of the sentence, "owners"). There is no error at (A). The verb phrase "must compete" agrees with its subject, "they." There is no error at (C). The infinitive “to make” modifies the adjective “unlikely” to produce an appropriate idiom. Furthermore, the adjective “much” properly modifies the noun “profit.” There is no error at (D). The verb phrase "may... go bankrupt," introduced by the word "and," is properly parallel with the preceding verb phrase "are unlikely... profit." 18. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Page 4 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations Corrected Sentence: Although science offers the hope of preventing serious genetic diseases, there are difficult ethical questions raised by the possibility of altering human heredity. The error in this sentence occurs at (B), where there is a problem with subject-verb agreement. In this inverted construction, the singular verb "is" does not agree with its plural subject, "questions." There is no error at (A). The preposition "of" and the verbal "preventing" correctly introduce a phrase that modifies the previous noun, "hope." There is no error at (C). The verbal "raised" and the preposition "by" correctly begin a phrase that modifies the noun "questions." There is no error at (D). The noun "possibility" is used correctly as the object of the preposition "by," and the preposition "of" correctly begins another phrase that modifies "possibility." 19. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Corrected Sentence: In the nineteenth century, careers in business and law were prestigious, but they did not require practitioners to hold college degrees. The error in this sentence occurs at (B), where the number of the pronoun is incorrect. The singular pronoun "it" does not agree with the plural noun "careers," to which it refers. is used in combination with the verb phrase “is helpful,” where it would be more idiomatic to use the phrase “in improving.” There is no error at (B). The plural possessive pronoun "their" is properly used to refer to the subject, "chess players." There is no error at (C). The subordinating conjunction “even though” properly introduces the subordinate adverbial clause, “even though no chess-playing . . . championship.” There is no error at (D). The word "won," the past participle of the verb "to win," combines with the word "has" to produce the appropriate verb tense. 21. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Corrected Sentence: Reaching lengths of twelve inches, banana slugs are the largest of all the slug species that inhabit North America. The error in this sentence occurs at (C), where the comparative term is incorrect. The phrase "much larger" implies a comparison between only two items, not a comparison of banana slugs with all other slug species in North America. There is no error at (A). The verbal "Reaching" properly introduces a participial phrase that modifies the noun "slugs." There is no error at (B). The plural verb "are" agrees with its plural subject, "slugs." There is no error at (A). The plural verb "were" agrees with its plural subject, "careers." There is no error at (C). The verb in past tense, "did require," is consistent with the earlier pasttense verb, "were," and the adverb "not" is the appropriate negative word. There is no error at (D). The verbal "to hold" is the appropriate phrase to use between the nouns "practitioners" and "college degrees." There is no error at (D). The plural verb "inhabit" agrees with the plural noun phrase "all the slug species," and the present tense of "inhabit" is consistent with the tense of the earlier verb "are." 22. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Corrected Sentence: Maya Madera proudly wore her sisterʼs most popular invention, a watch for winter campers that flashes the temperature in lighted numerals and sends out a loud alarm when one presses a button. 20. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Corrected Sentence: Chess players find that playing against a computer is helpful in improving their skills, even though no chess-playing computer has yet won a championship. Explanation for Correct Answer D: The error in this sentence occurs at (D), where modification is improper. The phrase "pressing a button" cannot logically modify the noun just before it, "alarm," or any other word in the sentence. The error in this sentence occurs at (A), where an improper idiom is used. The infinitive “to improve” There is no error at (A). The adverb "proudly" (telling how) is used correctly to modify Page 5 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations the verb "wore." appropriate to begin a phrase that modifies "concerns." There is no error at (B). The noun phrase "most popular invention" functions correctly as the direct object of the verb "wore," and the noun "watch" is placed properly as an appositive to "invention." There is no error at (C). The dependent clause "that flashes the temperature" correctly serves as an adjective describing the watch. 23. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS There is no error at (D). The noun "plans" serves correctly as the object of the preposition "about," and the preposition "for" appropriately begins another prepositional phrase that modifies "plans." 25. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Explanation for Correct Answer E : There is no error in this sentence. Corrected Sentence: Obviously, Whistlerʼs paintings, unlike those of Klee, are conventional in their subject matter. The error in this sentence occurs at (B), where the comparison is not logical. Works of art ("Whistler's paintings") are improperly compared with an artist ("Klee"). There is no error at (A). The adverb "obviously" correctly modifies "are" and indicates a high degree of certainty. There is no error at (C). The adjective "conventional" is used appropriately after the linking verb "are," and the preposition "in" correctly introduces a phrase that modifies "conventional." There is no error at (A). The subordinating conjunction "Although" properly introduces the subordinate adverbial clause, "she considers... complete." There is no error at (B). The adjective "complete" properly modifies the noun phrase, "her chemistry research." There is no error at (C). The singular verb phrase "has heeded" agrees with its singular subject, "she." There is no error at (D). The singular verb phrase "is conducting" agrees with its singular subject, "she," and properly introduces the second half of the compound predicate of the main clause. There is no error at (D). The plural pronoun "their" agrees with the plural noun "paintings," to which it refers. 24. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Corrected Sentence: A newly formed organization of homeowners and business people has met with the transportation department to voice its concerns about plans for a shopping mall in the community. The error in this sentence occurs at (A), where there is a problem with subject-verb agreement. The plural verb "have" agrees with the interrupting nouns ("homeowners and business people") but not with its singular subject, "organization." There is no error at (B). The infinitive "to voice" correctly introduces a verbal phrase that modifies "met" and indicates the purpose of the meeting. There is no error at (C). The noun "concerns" serves correctly as the direct object of the infinitive "to voice," and the preposition "about" is 26. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Corrected Sentence: Princeton University officials first broke with a tradition of awarding honorary degrees only to men when they awarded such a degree to author Willa Cather. Explanation for Correct Answer D: The error in this sentence occurs at (D), where the pronoun reference is vague. The sentence contains no singular noun to which the pronoun "it" (presumably meaning an honorary degree) can refer. There is no error at (A). The past tense verb "broke" is used correctly to describe action already completed, and the preposition "with" is used properly to begin a phrase modifying "broke." There is no error at (B). The preposition "of" is used correctly to begin a phrase modifying "tradition," and the verbal "awarding" functions properly as the object of the preposition. Page 6 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations There is no error at (C). The prepositional phrase "to men" is used correctly to identify those awarded honorary degrees. laryngitis usually causes the vocal cords and surrounding tissue to swell, thus preventing the cords from moving freely. 27. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS The error in this sentence occurs at (C), where the idiom is inappropriate. After the verbal "preventing" the phrase "to move" is not idiomatic. Corrected Sentence: His love of politics led him to volunteer in local campaigns as well as to work in a government office in the state capital. Explanation for Correct Answer D: The error in this sentence occurs at (D), where there is a flaw in parallelism. The noun phrase "a job" is not parallel with the earlier verbal phrase "to volunteer." There is no error at (A). The past-tense verb "led" correctly describes actions already completed. There is no error at (B). Since the pronoun "him" is the direct object of the verb "led," the objective case is correct. There is no error at (C). The connecting phrase "as well" functions correctly to introduce an additional activity. There is no error at (A). The adverb "usually" correctly modifies the verb "causes," and that singular verb agrees with its singular subject, "condition." There is no error at (B). The connecting word "thus" is used correctly to link a cause (swelling) with its effect (prevention of movement). There is no error at (D). The adverb "freely" is used correctly to tell how the cords normally move 30. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (E) is correct. Information about the amount of trash disposed of annually in the state explains how the state's landfills came to be full. Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because it deals with other states; it does not explain how landfills in the writer's own state became full. 28. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Corrected Sentence: Now that Michiko has finished the research, she feels reasonably confident about writing her paper on the rise of the progressive movement in the United States. The error in this sentence occurs at (A), where the tense sequence is incorrect. The past tense of the verb, "finished," is inappropriate because the adverb "now" indicates action begun in the past but continuing until the present (action described correctly by the present perfect tense). There is no error at (B). The adjective "confident" is used correctly after the verb "feels," and the adverb "reasonably" properly modifies "confident." Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because what is needed is a sentence about landfills, not alternatives to landfills. Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because the information that would fit most logically is not about the number of landfills but the amount of garbage that goes into them. Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because polluted water, a byproduct of landfills, is discussed later in the essay; what is needed here is information about how the landfills themselves became full. 31. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS There is no error at (C). The prepositional phrase "about writing" functions properly as an adverb modifying the adjective "confident." There is no error at (D). The noun "rise" serves appropriately as the object of the preposition "on," and the preposition "of" introduces another prepositional phrase that modifies "rise." Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by providing a passive verb phrase, "has been proposed," and gets rid of the vague pronoun "they." 29. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because it involves the use of a vague pronoun. Neither the sentence nor its context mentions anyone to whom the pronoun "they" can logically refer. Corrected Sentence: The condition known as Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the past Page 7 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations tense of the verb does not fit logically into the context, which describes the situation entirely in the present tense. Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because there is nothing in the sentence to which the pronoun “they” can logically refer. Furthermore, the adverb “previously” does not make sense in the context of the sentence. Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because it results in an illogical sentence. It makes no sense to speak of proposals that are made to solutions; proposals are made not to solutions, but to people or groups of people. 32. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (C) is correct. It combines the two sentences using the same grammatical structure in both clauses and linking them with the word "and." Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because it involves improper coordination: the two clauses are improperly linked with both "and" and "whereas." Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the wordy phrases “While on the one hand . . . on the other hand” illogically indicate a contrast between the two ideas. Also, the sentence does not make clear the link between landfills and polluted runoff water; it merely says that both exist. Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because it is a fragment; the sentence has no main verb. Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the verbs "is" and "is" do not indicate causal connections; also, the word "new" changes the meaning of the first clause, probably making that statement inaccurate. 33. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (C) is correct. The main clause completes the sentence by describing a negative reaction and needs no connecting word to link it with the introductory dependent clause. Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because the coordinating conjunction "and" is used incorrectly to join an independent clause ("owners of apartment complexes and other businesses complain") to an introductory dependent clause (“Although recycling can be an effective solution”). Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the coordinating conjunction "yet" is used incorrectly to join an independent clause ("owners of apartment complexes and other businesses complain") to an introductory dependent clause (“Although recycling can be an effective solution”). The contrast signalled by "yet" is unnecessary since "Although" is now at the beginning of the sentence. Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the adverb "mostly" is unnecessary and alters the meaning of the original. Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the past tense of the verb "complained" is inconsistent with the present tense of the earlier verb "can be." 34. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (B) is correct. The subordinating conjunction "Because" clearly establishes a cause-effect relationship between the benefits described in the introductory clause and the tendency described in the main clause. Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because the conjunction "as" may suggest only that the two conditions exist at the same time, not that one causes the other. Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because it uses incorrect coordination. Two complete thoughts ("However, local governments enjoy . . . from business and industry" and "they tend . . . to recycle") are joined by only a comma. Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the phrase "In addition to" does not suggest a cause-effect relationship. Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the pronoun "they" unnecessarily repeats the subject of the sentence, "Local governments." 35. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (B) is correct. The dependent clause "who are concerned" is an appropriate idiom to follow the pronoun "us," and the entire phrase uses no unnecessary words. Choice (A) is unsatisfactory because, after the pronoun "us," the verbal phrase "being concerned" is less idiomatic than the dependent clause "who are oncerned." Page 8 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations Choice (C) is unsatisfactory because it inappropriately separates the pronoun "those" from the prepositional phrase "of us." volcano"). The opening phrase ("Haleakala... high") now has no verb and is left unattached to the sentence. Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because the phrase "being among those" is not needed. Choice (C) results in a sentence fragment. The use of an improper verb form ("being" instead of "is") leaves the sentence grammatically incomplete. Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because the words "those being" are not necessary. Choice (E) involves improper coordination. The clause preceding the semicolon is incomplete because it has no main verb. Section 10 3. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS 1. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (C) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by changing the second independent clause to a verb phrase ("have endangered") that is parallel to the earlier verb phrase ("have overbuilt") in the new compound predicate. Choice (A) uses improper coordination. It joins two complete thoughts ("In their zeal . . . developers have overbuilt" and "thereby they endanger fragile coastlines") with only a comma. Choice (B) displays improper coordination. It places one complete thought ("they endanger fragile coastlines as a result") immediately after another ("In their zeal . . . developers have overbuilt") with no conjunction or punctuation between them. Choice (D) exhibits improper coordination. It uses a semicolon to join unequal sentence parts (a complete thought before the semicolon and a phrase after it). Choice (E) involves improper coordination. It joins two complete thoughts ("In their zeal . . . developers have overbuilt" and "the fragile coastlines are endangered by this") with only a comma. 2. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by providing the verb "is" to complete the predicate of the sentence. Choice (A) is a sentence fragment. The sentence is grammatically incomplete because it has no main verb. Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because the word "it" introduces an independent clause ("it is... Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by using a colon between the main clauses as is appropriate when the second clause explains the idea in the first clause. Choice (A) involves the use of an improper idiom. The word "being" is used to introduce the clause, "it was her plan," where it would be more idiomatic to introduce it with "because" or to separate the clauses with a colon. Choice (B) is unsatisfactory because it involves the use of an improper idiom. The clause, "she should have credit for it," is introduced by the phrase, "being that," where it would be more idiomatic to introduce it with "since" or "because." Choice (C) involves the use of a vague pronoun. It is not clear to whom the pronoun "they" refers. Choice (D) involves a lack of clarity. The confusing word order makes the meaning of the sentence unclear. 4. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by providing the adverb "When" instead of the repetitive adverbial phrase, "At the time at which." Choice (A) involves unnecessary repetition. The phrase "At the time at which" is used to introduce the subordinate clause, where the adverb "When" would be simpler and clearer. Choice (C) involves an improper sequence of verb tenses. It provides a past-tense verb ("approached") instead of the present-tense verb that is needed to match the present-tense verbs in the main clause of the sentence. Page 9 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations Choice (D) is unsatisfactory because it involves an improper sequence of verb tenses. The pluperfect verb "had approached" does not match the present tense of the other verbs in the sentence. Choice (E) involves the use of an improper idiom. It provides an infinitive phrase ("to leave... innovation") where it would be more idiomatic to use a subordinate clause introduced by the relative pronoun "that." Choice (E) involves the use of an improper idiom. It provides the phrase "While temperatures approaching absolute zero," where it would be more idiomatic to use a clause introduced by the adverb "When." 7. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by changing the vague phrase "in Russia" to "those of Russia," where the pronoun "those" clearly refers to musicians. 5. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (B) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by using two parallel nouns, "information" and "program," to name the two things participants expect. Choice (A) fails to maintain parallelism. The verbal phrase "gaining information" is not parallel with the earlier noun "program." Choice (C) does not maintain parallelism. The verbal phrase "being informed" is not parallel with the earlier noun "program." Choice (D) has a flaw in parallelism. The verbal phrase "being informed" is not parallel with the earlier noun "program." Choice (E) exhibits improper coordination. It places one complete thought ("in addition . . . gain information") immediately after another ("Participants . . . of outstanding speakers") with no conjunction or punctuation to connect them. Choice (A) involves the use of a vague modifying phrase. It is not clear whether the phrase "in Russia" refers to inspiration or to musicians. Choice (C) involves the use of a vague pronoun. It is not clear what the pronoun "this" refers to. Choice (D) results in an illogical sentence. There is nothing in the sentence to which the pronoun "which" can logically refer. Choice (E) is unsatisfactory because it results in an illogical sentence. There is nothing in the sentence of which Russia could logically be an example. 8. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by providing the noun "watches" in place of the vague pronoun "they." 6. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (A) involves the use of a vague pronoun. There is no plural noun in the sentence to which the pronoun "they" can logically refer. Choice (A) is correct. It appropriately uses a subordinate noun clause, introduced by the relative pronoun "that," to describe a result of the editor's management style. Choice (B) involves the use of an improper idiom. It uses the phrase "it was standard equipment for... watches" where it would be more idiomatic to say "watches were standard equipment." Choice (B) involves noun-pronoun disagreement. It improperly uses the plural pronoun "they" to refer to the singular phrase "the editor's management style." Choice (C) results in an illogical sentence. The linking word "with" illogically indicates that the issuing of watches to military personnel was a part of the improvement in watchmaking technology rather than a result of it. Choice (C) involves the use of a vague pronoun. There is nothing in the sentence to which the pronoun "their" can logically refer. Choice (D) results in an illogical sentence. The phrase "innovation has so little room left from it" makes no sense. Choice (E) involves the use of a vague pronoun. It is not clear what the pronoun "it" refers to. 9. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by using the specific noun "swimming" to Page 10 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations replace a wordy phrase ("work in this") containing a vague pronoun, "this." Choice (A) involves wordiness and use of a vague pronoun. In the phrase "work in this," the meaning of the pronoun "this" is unclear. Choice (B) displays improper coordination. It joins two complete thoughts ("Nancy and Carlos will represent . . . swimming competition" and "they have done excellent work this year in this") with only a comma. Choice (C) uses an ambiguous pronoun. The pronoun "this" could refer either to swimming or to swimming competition. Choice (E) exhibits wordiness. The phrase "work as swimmers" can be reduced to one word, "swimming." 10. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by replacing the clause introduced by "it was" with an appropriate modifying phrase, "established... Omaha Indian," to describe the hospital. Choice (A) involves improper coordination. Two complete thoughts are linked by only a comma. Choice (B) involves awkward and illogical phrasing. The sentence does not make sense because the word "and" makes the hospital appear to have existed before it was established. Choice (C) involves an improper sequence of tenses. The tense of the verb phrase “has been established” does not combine logically with the tense of the verb phrase “could use” earlier in the sentence. Choice (D) involves the use of a vague pronoun. It is not clear what the pronoun "it" refers to. Choice (B) contains an improper idiom. After the word "same," the conjunction "than" is inappropriate because it indicates difference rather than similarity. Choice (C) fails to maintain parallelism. The clause "if one eats" is not parallel with the earlier verbal "eating." Choice (E) exhibits wordiness. The words "it does when" are not needed. 12. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (E) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by making the singular verb "has" agree with its singular subject, "one." Choice (A) has an error in subject-verb agreement. Even though the plural verb "have" agrees with the interrupting noun "students," it does not agree with its singular subject, "one." Choice (B) contains an error in subject-verb agreement. The plural verb "have" agrees with the interrupting noun "students," but not with with its singular subject, "one." Choice (C) exhibits an error in subject-verb agreement. While the plural verb "have" does agree with the interrupting noun "students," it does not agree with its singular subject, "one." Choice (D) displays loose modification. This word order fails to make clear exactly what the verbal phrase "having better than a C grade on a single test" modifies. 13. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (A) is correct. The singular pronoun "its" agrees with the earlier singular pronoun "each." 11. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (B) involves a shift in pronoun number. The plural pronoun "their" does not agree with the earlier singular pronoun "each." Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by using the word "as," which pairs with the earlier word "same" to create an appropriate idiom indicating similarity. Choice (C) uses ineffective subordination. The conjunction "when" incorrectly suggests that the main relationship between the two clauses is temporal. Choice (A) uses an improper idiom. After the word “same,” the conjunction “than” is inappropriate because it indicates difference rather than similarity. Choice (D) displays disagreement of subject and verb and also of noun and pronoun. Although the pronoun "which" refers to the plural noun "games," neither the singular verb "has" nor the Page 11 of 12 Test 12: Writing Explanations singular pronoun "its" agrees with that noun. Choice (E) uses improper coordination. It joins two complete thoughts ("In neighborhoods . . . rope-jumping games" and " they each . . . of their own") with only a comma. 14. ANSWERS AND EXPLANATIONS Choice (D) is correct. It avoids the error of the original by making the singular verb "is" agree with its singular subject, "flurry." Choice (A) has an error in subject-verb agreement. Even though the plural verb "are" agrees with the interrupting noun "books," it does not agree with its singular subject, "flurry." Choice (B) contains an error in subject-verb agreement. The plural verb "are" agrees with the interrupting noun "books," but not with with its singular subject, "flurry." Choice (C) uses inappropriate idioms. After the verb "is inspiring," the phrase "into doing" is less effective than "to do," and "repairing" is less effective than "repairs." Choice (E) creates a sentence fragment. Since the phrase has no verb (only the verbal forms "inspiring" and "to repair"), it does not state a complete thought. Page 12 of 12