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Whitty, Monica T.. (2004) Pushing the wrong buttons : men's and women's attitudes toward
online and offline infidelity. CyberPsychology & Behavior, 6 (6). pp. 569-579.
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Pushing the wrong buttons 1
Whitty, M. T. (2003). Pushing the wrong buttons: Men’s and
women’s attitudes towards online and offline infidelity.
CyberPsychology & Behavior, 6(6), 569-579.
Running head: PUSHING THE WRONG BUTTONS
Pushing the Wrong Buttons: Men and
Women’s Attitudes toward Online and Offline Infidelity
Dr. Monica Therese Whitty
lecturer
School of Applied Social and Human Sciences,
University of Western Sydney, Australia
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ABSTRACT
Despite current researchers’ interest in the study of online sexual addiction, there is a
dearth of research available on what constitutes online infidelity. This paper attempts
to redress this balance by comparing 1117 participants’ attitudes toward online and
offline acts of infidelity. A factor analysis was carried out which yielded three
components of infidelity: sexual infidelity, emotional infidelity and pornography.
More importantly, this study revealed that online acts of betrayal do not fall into a
discrete category of their own. A MANOVA was performed and revealed a
statistically significant difference on the combined dependent variables for the
interaction of gender by age, age by relationship status and Internet sexual experience.
The hypotheses were, in part, supported. However, counter to what was predicted, in
the main younger people were more likely to rate sexual acts as acts of betrayal than
older individuals. It is concluded here that individuals do perceive some online
interactions to be acts of betrayal. In contrast to some researchers’ claims, it is
suggested here that we do need to consider how bodies are reconstructed online.
Moreover, these results have important implications for any treatment rationale for
infidelity (both online and offline).
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Pushing the Wrong Buttons: Men and
Women’s Attitudes toward Online and Offline Infidelity
INTRODUCTION
The literature is replete with studies on attitudes towards offline infidelity.
However, there is a paucity of research available on what online acts men and women
consider to be unfaithful. Research that has investigated online infidelity has mostly
focused on addiction to cybersex and the available treatment for these cybersex
addicts and their partners.1-6 This paper, in contrast, focuses on how potential acts of
offline infidelity compare with potential acts of online infidelity. In addition, gender,
age, relationship status, and sexually experienced Internet user differences are
examined. In a world where online interactions continue to become more frequent, it
has become imperative for psychologists to understand the nature of these interactions
and the repercussions of these interactions. It is maintained here that it is critical to
investigate whether interactions online are perceived to be unfaithful and by whom as
such data will inform ways forward within clinical practice and therapy. For example,
while some therapists might be dismissive of online sexual acts or communication,
perceiving these as no ‘real threat’ to an offline relationship, research into attitudes on
online infidelity might reveal a different perspective. Rather than isolating potential
acts of online infidelity, this study considers both online and offline acts of betrayal
and whether, when taken as a whole, there are different types of infidelity.
Before deliberating on potential online acts of betrayal, this paper considers
what might constitute an act of offline infidelity. Most researchers would agree that
we need to consider other acts of infidelity in addition to sexual intercourse. For
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example, Roscoe, Cavanaugh and Kennedy 7 focused on undergraduates’ views on
acts of infidelity and found that participants indicated three principle behaviors:
dating or spending time with a different partner; having sexual intercourse with
someone else; and engaging in other sexual interactions with someone else, such as
kissing, flirting and petting. To supplement work such as Roscoe at al.’s 7 study,
Yarab, Sensibaugh and Rice Allgeier 8 investigated what extradyadic behaviors
individuals identify as unfaithful acts in the context of committed romantic
relationships. Yarab, et al.’s 8 study yielded an array of unfaithful behaviors in
addition to sexual intercourse, including, passionately kissing, sexual fantasies, nonsexual fantasies about falling in love, sexual attraction, romantic attraction, flirting
and behavior in dyads, such as studying, having lunch with, and going to a movie with
someone other than one’s partner. These researchers claim that ‘mental exclusivity’
might be considered as important as ‘sexual exclusivity’. Interestingly, Yarab and
Rice Allgeier 9 found that when considering sexual fantasies the greater the threat of
the sexual fantasy to the current relationship, the higher the fantasy was rated as
unfaithful. For instance, fantasizing about a partner’s best friend (a great potential to
disrupting the current relationship) was considered by most to be more of a threat, and
therefore more unfaithful than fantasizing about a movie star. In addition, these
researchers found that participants were more jealous about the idea of their partner
fantasizing about their best friend than fantasizing about a movie star.
The general consensus has been that men and women hold different
viewpoints on offline monogamous relationships. For instance, Sheppard, Nelson, and
Andreoli-Mathie 10 have argued that men tend to view commitment and monogamy as
less attractive options than women do. It also seems that men and women enter into
extramarital relationships for different reasons; women more because they are seeking
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a friendship or emotional relationship, while men tend to be more interested in sexual
relationships.11 Satisfaction within a marriage is also often marked by these gender
differences, with men more likely to report sexual problems, and women more likely
to indicate problems with affection as the cause of discord within the marriage.12
Noticeably, men are more likely to at least own up to having some type of
extradyadic sexual experience compared to women.13,14 Yarab et al. 8 found that men
admitted more than women did to fantasizing about having sexual intercourse and
giving and receiving oral sex with someone else other than their partner. Moreover,
men in their study, were more likely to state that they had ‘hit on’ someone else.
Research has also considered gender differences in attitudes toward infidelity.
For instance, Taylor 15 found that men tend to judge a husband’s affair as more
justifiable than a wife’s affair. Furthermore, Sheppard et al. 10 found that male college
students were more likely to rate infidelity as more acceptable than women rated
infidelity. Paul and Galloway 16 found, in their sample of undergraduate students, that
women (52%) were much more likely than men (30%) to say they would end the
relationship if their partner was unfaithful to them. However, such gender differences
are not always supported. For instance, it has been established that men and women
tend to assess their own extradyadic behavior as more acceptable than that of their
partner.8 Furthermore, researchers have revealed that individuals are more forgiving
of extradyadic behaviors committed by members of their own gender compared to
individuals of the opposite gender.17 One of the reasons for these discrepancies could
possibly be the variations in samples being used, including people who are
experienced in relationships who are asked to reflect on their current relationship,
compared to non-experienced participants who are asked to imagine a hypothetical
cheating partner.
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In respect to what extradyadic behaviors cause more upset for each gender,
women more than men rate extradyadic emotional behavior as more upsetting than
extradyadic sexual behavior.18 However, it is also noteworthy that both men and
women report extradyadic sexual behavior to be more unacceptable and a greater
betrayal than extradyadic emotional behavior.18 Roscoe et al. 7 also identified gender
differences in what participants considered to be violations of infidelity. In their study
they asked participants to list what behaviors they believed constituted being
unfaithful to a dating partner who is involved in a serious dating relationship. They
found that men were more likely to state that a sexual encounter with a different
partner was an exemplar of infidelity. In contrast, women were more likely to state
that spending time with another and keeping secrets from a partner were acts of
infidelity.
One shortcoming of most of the research in this area is the heavy reliance on
college students as participants. This is clearly problematic given that these are
younger people who are often not married or in cohabiting relationships. Hence, their
lack of experience in long-term relationships could dramatically influence how these
individuals perceive acts of infidelity.
Admittedly, a few researchers have explored how age, cohort and period
effects have shaped attitudes towards sexuality activity19,20. These researchers mostly
contend that attitudes towards extra-marital sex have changed little since the 1960s.
Smith 20 argues that while there is some truth to the sexual revolution/
counterrevolution metaphor (where approval in premarital sex increased in the 1960s
to the early 1980s and then leveled off after this time) “the revolutionary imagery is
misleading because it does not clearly apply to sexual attitudes in general” (p.91).
Rather, he argues, there is much less evidence of a sexual revolution in regard to
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extradyadic relations. Moreover, in respect to age differences, Smith 20 provides data
that suggests (although no statistical analysis is presented) that older individuals are
more disapproving of extramarital sexual relations compared to younger people. He
also presents some interesting differences in respect to relationship status. He found
that those who had never been married were more approving of extramarital relations.
While it can be strongly argued that social researchers have still not unearthed
the whole story about attitudes towards offline acts of infidelity, the empirical
research available on attitudes towards Internet infidelity is even scarcer. It has been
contended that “Internet infidelity is, of course, behaviorally different from other
kinds of infidelity; however, the contributing factors and results are similar when we
consider how it affects the way partners relate” (p.29)3. Shaw 3, however, did not
qualify how online and offline infidelity are behaviorally different. Indeed, while
Shaw has made the assumption that infidelity, in essence, is a “refusal to relate
personally to one’s partner” (p.29)3 researchers have rendered little work on
specifying what online behavior people consider as unfaithful.
Other researchers have also made an attempt to define sexual acts unique to
the Internet. For example, cybersex has been defined as involving “two online users
engaging in private discourse about sexual fantasies. The dialogue is typically
accompanied by sexual self-stimulation”(p.60)6. Moreover, Young et al. 6 have
defined a cyberaffair as “a romantic and/or sexual relationship that is initiated via
online contact and maintained predominantly through electronic conversations that
occur through e-mail and in virtual communities…” (p.60). Young and her
colleagues, however, have mostly focused on cybersex addition 4-6.
Sex addicts are not the only individuals who peruse the web for erotic
material. Cooper, Putnam, Planchon and Boies 21 identified three categories of
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individuals who access Internet erotic material, including, recreational users, sexual
compulsive users (these individuals are addicted to sex per se, and the Internet is but
one mode where they can access sexual material) and at-risk users (these individuals
would never have developed a sexual addiction if it were not for the Internet). In
addition, Cooper, Delmunico and Burg’s 22 research extended upon past anecdotal
data of clinical cases, to focus on individuals who access the Internet for sexual
purposes. These researchers found that most of their participants who surfed the web
for erotic material did not experience significant problems in their lives.
In addition to findings on who are cybersex consumers, other researchers have
outlined the potential erotic communication available online.23,24 Mehta and Plaza 25
examined images from newgroups in 1994, and found differences in the type of
material posted by commercial and non-commercial users. Commercial users posted
explicit pornographic material, and illegal sexual acts such as bestiality, more than
non-commercial users. Kim and Bailey 23 proposed that the Internet is a haven for
individuals with a paraphilia. Although the sexual preferences for paraphiles have
changed little in recent times, the Internet does provide another mode for such
individuals to live out their sexual fantasies. Durkin and Bryant 24 have listed a
number ways the Internet can be used for erotic entertainment, including some
bulletin boards and chat rooms, where consenting individuals can exchange x-rated
messages and pictures. In 1995, Levy estimated that on a monthly basis up to 500 000
users visit sex newsgroups 26. Durkin and Bryant 24 also proposed that the Internet
offers a certain kind of erotic talk, which they named ‘hot chatting’. ‘Hot chatting’,
they state, is moving beyond light-hearted flirting, and can galvanize one’s offline sex
life. In the literature, theorists have also made a distinction between ‘hot chatting’ and
‘cybersex’, purporting that cybersex also involves obtaining sexual gratification.
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The research on online lascivious material demonstrates a need to consider
other types of activity, besides cybersex, as potential acts of infidelity. Moreover,
given that accessing erotic material is not restricted to addicts, distinguishing potential
acts of online infidelity is important to consider for the maintaining of committed
romantic relationships.
This current study explores individuals’ views on what constitutes an act of
infidelity online and compares this with perceptions of offline acts of infidelity. In
addition, gender, age, relationship status, and sexually experienced online users
differences are explored in respect to both online and offline infidelity. Given the
importance placed on gender differences in previous studies on offline infidelity, this
study, in turn, took into account gender differences. To address the limitation of the
focus on college students in previous research on infidelity, the sample in the present
study included individuals ranging from 17 to 70 years. Relationship status was
considered, since it is possible that being involved or uninvolved with another might
shape one’s perception of what constitutes an act of infidelity. Finally, Internet sexual
experience was taken into account, as this factor, may also shape one’s perception of
Internet infidelity. Four hypotheses were formed for this study:
H1: Women will be more likely to consider all of the acts as violations of fidelity
compared to men. This hypothesis is based on the literature outlined above.
H2: Older people will be more likely to consider all of the acts as violations of fidelity
compared to younger people. Whilst, most research has focused on college students’
attitudes towards infidelity, this hypothesis was constructed around the premise that
younger people have more liberal attitudes towards sex compared to older individuals.
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H3: Those who are currently in a relationship will be more likely to rate acts as
violations of fidelity than those not in a relationship. This is based on the assumption
that those in a relationship are more likely to imagine the ‘real’ impact of an act of
betrayal than individuals not in a relationship.
H4: Those who have had online sexual experience will be less likely to rate acts as
violations of fidelity compared to people with no online sexual experience. This
hypothesis was devised based on the assumption that these individuals will have more
liberal sexual attitudes compared to those who have not had online sexual
experiences.
METHOD
Participants
Participants were recruited both online and offline. Although it may appear
sufficient to recruit participants for a study of this kind by placing a survey on the
Internet, this was deemed inappropriate for this current study. Rather, it was
considered imperative that, in addition, participants be recruited offline, since
participants who have had little or no Internet experience might nonetheless have a
view about what constitutes an act of betrayal online (e.g., their partner might be
engaging in these activities).
One thousand, one hundred and seventeen individuals were included in the
final sample, of which 468 were men (42%) and 649 (58%) were women. (Note:
although individuals of any sexual orientation were encouraged to participate in the
study, only 6 homosexuals and 2 bi-sexuals participated. As a consequence they were
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omitted from the final sample). Ages ranged from 17 to 70 years, with a mean of 30
(SD = 10.53) years. A detailed account of the Internet and offline demographic
characteristics of the sample are given in Table 1. In the MANOVA age was broken
into four categories, according to Levinson’s 27 theory of life stages. These age
categories included: the transition from adolescence to adulthood 17-22 years (31%),
early adulthood 23-44 (57%), and middle adulthood to later adulthood were combined
as there were too few in the late adulthood category to warrant a separate grouping 45
– 70 years (12%). Internet sexual experienced was defined based on definitions
offered by 22 who have defined ‘hot chatting’ as socializing with a member of the
opposite sex (same sex if gay), that has moved beyond light hearted flirting.
Participants had to provide a ‘yes’/’no’ response to this question. Thirty sex percent of
the sample admitted to having had some experience of hot chatting.
Although it was not a condition to have used the Internet in order to participate
in the study, all of the participants used the Internet for at least 1 hour on average each
week (see Table 1 for breakdown of hours spent online each week). Ninety six
percent of the participants used email, 36% chat rooms, 31% newsgroups, and 94%
web-sites. Three hundred and fifty three Australians filled out the survey offline,
while the remainder of the sample filled out the survey online. Of the entire sample,
39% resided in Australia or New Zealand, 52% in the Americas, 3% in Europe, 1% in
Asia, and 1% in the Middle East.
INSERT TABLE 1
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Materials
For this study, a survey was constructed which focused on potential acts of
infidelity both online and offline. Past research on offline infidelity was considered in
the construction of this survey. In addition, seemingly equivalent online acts of
infidelity were included in the study. These items, were in part, drawn from the
literature on Internet sexual acts discussed in the literature to date. Because it was
difficult to ascertain which acts might be online equivalents, an exploratory factor
analysis was performed to determine how items might be grouped together, if at all.
Since it was deemed important to avoid constructing a lengthy survey, it was
decided to limit how many items were investigated. Lengthy surveys on the web can
be problematic for two main reasons. Firstly, poor connection can lead to a survey
crashing prior to completion, and secondly, an extensive survey on the web might be a
deterrent for many, thus leading to a poor response rate (although response rate is
difficult to determine when placing surveys on the web).
Participants were asked to rate on a 5-point likert scale (from not considered
as infidelity to extreme infidelity) whether they thought the activity was unfaithful to
their partner. In each instance, it was specified that the act was carried out without
one’s partner. The potential acts of infidelity included: going to strip clubs, viewing
pornographic videos or magazines, viewing pornographic pictures on web sites,
viewing porn sent via an email, engaging in hot chat with strangers online, engaging
in hot chat regularly with the same person online, engaging in hot chat with a
stranger, just the once, engaging in cybersex with strangers online, engaging in
cybersex with a stranger, just the once, engaging in cybersex regularly with the same
person online, engaging in intercourse/sexual acts offline, sharing deep emotional and
or intimate information with a person of the opposite sex (same sex if homosexual)
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offline, sharing deep emotional and or intimate information with a person of the
opposite sex (same sex if homosexual) online, maintaining a non-sexual relationship
with someone of the opposite sex offline (same sex if homosexual), maintaining a
non-sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex online (same sex if
homosexual). Because the terms cybersex and hot chatting might have been
unfamiliar to many a definition was provided for each of these items. Cybersex was
defined as obtaining sexual gratification whilst interacting with another person online.
Hot chat was defined as online socializing that has moved beyond light-hearted
flirting.
Procedure
Participants were recruited offline by placing notices in libraries, cafes, and
community centers throughout Sydney, Australia, inviting people to fill out a
hardcopy of the survey which was to be placed in a locked box on completion.
Participants were recruited online by placing notices in newsgroups and by placing
links on webpages inviting people to fill out the survey online (which was placed on
the web for approximately 6 months). In both conditions participants were ensured
anonymity and were able to withdraw consent up until the time of submitting the
survey.
RESULTS
The means and standard deviations for each of the items are displayed in
Table 2 below.
INSERT TABLE 2
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As demonstrated in Table 2, the means for sexual intercourse, hot chatting and
cybersex are reasonably high, whereas the means for pornographic items and nonsexual relationships are fairly low.
The Infidelity Scale formed an internally consistent scale, with Cronbach
α(1101) = 0.93. Ratings on the Infidelity scale were subjected to an exploratory factor
analysis. The Principle Axis Factoring revealed three factors with Eigen values > 1.0,
which accounted for 80% of the total variance. The Kaiser-Meyer-Olken measure of
sampling adequacy was .88, well above the value of .6 usually considered to be
necessary for a good factor solution.28 These factors were separately rotated
orthogonally (Varimax) and obliquely (Direct Oblimin, delta = 0). In each case, the
same items loaded on the same three factors. However, to allow for the possibility of
inter-correlation among factors, the solution provided by the oblique solution was
chosen. The oblique rotation is reported in Table 3 (the higher factor loading for each
item appears in boldface type to aid interpretation of the factor structure). It took 6
iterations to produce these factors. Most of the loadings were above .71, which
according to Comrey and Lee 29 are excellent.
INSERT TABLE 3
Factor 1 was labeled as ‘sexual infidelity’. This factor included both online
and offline sexual acts; including offline sexual intercourse, cybersex and hot
chatting. Factor 2 was labeled ‘emotional infidelity’ and included both online and
offline sharing of intimate details with a person of the opposite sex and developing a
cross-sex non-sexual relationship. Finally, factor 3 was labeled ‘pornography’ and
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included viewing pornographic material both online and offline; including on the web,
via email, in magazines as well as going to strip clubs. Factor based scales were
derived by initially standardizing each variable using a z-transformation before
summating them. Each of these scales formed internally consistent scales, with α values of .95, .90 and .94 for ‘sexual infidelity’, ‘emotional infidelity’ and
‘pornography’ respectively.
The factors were moderately to slightly correlated with one another. Sexual
infidelity correlated significantly with emotional infidelity (r = .41, p < .001) and
pornography (r = .52, p <.001). Emotional infidelity correlated significantly with
pornography (r = .41, p < .001). Gender was found to be significantly related to
sexual infidelity (r = .23, p < .001), emotional infidelity (r = .08, p < .01) and
pornography (r = .15, p < .001). Age was significantly related to sexual infidelity (r =
-.15, p < .001) and pornography (r = -.15, p < .001). Internet sexual experience was
significantly related to sexual infidelity (r = .31, p < .001), emotional infidelity (r =
.13, p < .001), and pornography (r = .19, p < .001). Relationship status was
significantly related to emotional infidelity (r = -.06, p < .05).
A MANOVA was performed using the dependent variables sexual infidelity,
emotional infidelity and pornography, and the independent variables were gender,
age, relationship status, and Internet sexual experience. (It should be noted that
originally country of origin was to be included as a co-variate; however, given that it
was not significantly correlated with the dependent variables it was excluded from the
analysis). Applying an α-level of 0.05, there was a statistically significant difference
on the combined dependent variables for the interaction of gender by age F(6, 2182) =
2.21, p = .039; Wilks’ Lambda = .98; partial eta squared = .01, for the interaction of
age by relationship status F(6, 2182) = 2.67, p = .014; Wilks’ Lambda = .99; partial
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eta squared = .01, and for Internet sexual experience F(3, 1091) = 13.21, p < .001;
Wilks’ Lambda = .97; partial eta squared = .04. The dependent variables were then
considered separately. It is noteworthy, to point out that according to Cohen 30 these
effect sizes are relatively small. Table 4 presents the significant Univariate F-tests,
using a Bonferroni adjusted α-level of .017.
INSERT TABLE 4
An inspection of the mean scores for the factor sexual infidelity indicated that
that those who stated they had no Internet sexual experience (M = 1.42, SD = 5.39)
scored higher than those with Internet sexual experience (M = -2.5, SD = 6.41).
Furthermore, for the factor pornography those who stated they had no Internet sexual
experience (M = 0.52, SD = 3.88) scored higher than those with Internet sexual
experience (M = -0.92, SD = 3.07).
The interaction effect of gender and age on sexual infidelity is shown in
Figure 1 below.
INSERT FIGURE 1
Figure 1 clearly shows an interaction between gender and age on the factor
sexual infidelity. It demonstrates that women overall were more likely to believe that
sexual acts were an act of betrayal than the men did. Overall, the younger group (17 –
22 years) believed that these sexual acts were acts of betrayal more than the older
groups. The 23 – 44 year old men were also more likely to rate sexual infidelity
higher than the oldest group of men (45 – 70 years). However, the interaction effect
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occurred for the older women (45 – 70 years) who rated this factor higher than the 23
– 44 year old women.
The interaction effect of age and relationship status on sexual is shown in
Figure 2 below.
INSERT FIGURE 2
Figure 2 shows an interaction between age and relationship status on the factor
sexual infidelity. The younger individuals (17 – 22 years), who were currently in a
relationship, believed that these sexual acts were acts of betrayal more than the 17 –
22 years olds not in relationship. Moreover, the 17 – 22 years olds in a relationship
rated this factor higher than any other individuals. Interestingly, this pattern is
reversed for the 23 – 44 years olds, where those who were not in a relationship were
more inclined to rate the factor sexual infidelity as an act of betrayal, compared to the
23 – 44 year olds in a relationship. Again contrasting results occur for the 45 – 70
year olds, where those individuals not in a relationship rate this factor the lowest
compared to other individuals; however, the drop in scores was not as dramatic for the
45 – 70 year olds in a relationship.
DISCUSSION
The results of this study suggest that individuals do perceive that some
interactions that occur online can be considered as acts of betrayal. An inspection of
the means for each of the individual items, prior to the factor analysis, suggests that
some acts, such as sexual acts both offline and online pose a greater threat than other
acts such as viewing pornography. This is an interesting finding, given that physical
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bodies are not actually touching each other during the sexual online encounters, and in
fact, more visual nudity is probably available for those viewing pornography. What
does this mean about individuals’ perception of infidelity? It is perhaps not the
amount of physical contact or the idea that one’s partner is masturbating, but rather
that their partner has desire for another and is seeking out a sexual encounter with
another individual other than themselves. In line with Yarab et al.’s 9 claim that when
considering sexual fantasies the greater the threat of the sexual fantasy to the
relationship, the more likely the fantasy is considered to be unfaithful. It is probable
that participants perceived that sexual acts such as cybersex and hot chatting were
more of a threat than pornography, since they are more likely to meet face to face
with their cyber-loves than they are with porn stars.
An interestingly and important finding from this study was that the factor
analysis revealed that there are separate components of infidelity that we need to
consider, these being sexual infidelity, emotional infidelity and pornography. This too
fits with other theorists understanding that we need to consider other aspects besides
sexual intercourse as acts of infidelity 8. However, what is unique to this study is the
finding that online acts of betrayal do not fall into a discrete category of their own. As
can be seen in the factor analysis, each factor consisted of both online and offline acts
of infidelity.
The findings from this study challenge the notion that acts that occur in
cyberspace cannot have a ‘real’ impact on an individual’s life. Many theorists have
placed a strong emphasis on the absence of the body in cyberspace, 31,32 focusing on
cybersex as an action that does not involve the ‘real presence’ of bodies. Such
researchers focus on the importance of a ‘meeting of minds’. In contrast, this study
found that individuals separate disclosing intimate details with another online
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(emotional infidelity) and engaging in sexual activities (sexual infidelity) online with
another. This current study suggests that people at least perceive online acts of
infidelity as authentic and real as offline acts. Certainly, there are no physical bodies
present online; however, this in turn does not mean that the action is ‘unreal’. Instead,
Internet relationships are better understood if we focus on the reconstruction of the
body online, which is imperative to the success of many online interpersonal
interactions. 33 In line with this view, engaging in virtual erotic communications
online with someone other than one’s partner can pose a real threat to couples.
In addition to the above explanation, whilst many sexual encounters do initiate
online, it has been suggested that a large proportion of individuals continue these
relationships offline 33-35. Previous work has found that many individuals hope to
eventually meet up face to face with their cyber-mates 33. Whitty and Gavin 36 have
argued that continuing a relationship that initiated online to offline represented
increasing levels in trust and intimacy in a relationship. Hence, it is likely that some
individuals see their partners’ erotic interactions with another on the Internet as a real
threat to their relationship.
This study, in part, supported the hypotheses. It found that women were more
likely than men were to perceive sexual acts as violations of fidelity. This is not
surprising considering the general agreement in the literature that women are more
upset by offline acts of infidelity compared to men. However, contrary to previous
studies 18, women in this study did not score significantly higher than men did on
extradyadic emotional behavior, or pornography. Perhaps the types of questions
individuals are asked can explain this difference. In this current study participants
were asked to rate items on infidelity, while others 18 have asked participants to rate
how upset they would be by these behaviors.
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Although we did find that women tended to rate sexual infidelity higher than
men did, the results obtained in this study found an interesting gender by age
interaction effect on sexual infidelity. That, in the main, younger people rated sexual
acts as an act of betrayal more than older individuals; however, the 45 – 70 year old
women considered this to be the case more than the 23 – 44 year old women. These
results do not support the age hypothesis formed for this study, that young people are
more sexually liberated; but rather suggest the opposite to be the case. Of course, it is
difficult to ascertain from a cross-sectional study whether these reflect age effects or
cohort effects. Possibly the women’s movement has effected the cohort of 23 – 44
year old women and the sexual counter-revolution have swung attitudes around to
being more conservative for the 17 – 22 years olds.
This study also highlights the value in considering age differences and
relationship status in attitudes towards sexual infidelity. An age by relationship status
interaction occurred for the factor sexual infidelity. There is a plausible explanation
for why younger people in a relationship rate sexual acts of infidelity higher than
other individuals. Courtship has been described as “a ‘trying-out’ period that
individuals use to assess the qualifications of each as a more permanent mate”
(p.403)37. These younger individuals, who are more likely to be in a trying out phase
in a relationship, are perhaps less tolerable of any sexual form of betrayal.
Interestingly, the result is reversed for the older adults (23-44 years) with those not in
a relationship more likely to rate sexual as an act of betrayal than those in a
relationship. Moreover, the oldest individuals not in a relationship (presumably some
of which are widows) rated sexual acts of infidelity lower than any other group.
Again it is important to recognize here the limitation of exploring age
differences in isolation to cohort and historical effects. While the higher ratings in
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infidelity from the younger individuals might, in part, be explained by the sexual
conservative backlash, which has been a consequence of the AIDS epidemic, this
cannot be confidently accounted for in a cross-sectional design. Hence, future
researchers might consider carrying out longitudinal studies on attitudes towards
online and offline infidelity.
As predicted an Internet sexual experience difference was obtained. This
occurred for two of the factors: sexual infidelity and pornography. Perhaps these
individuals perceived these acts as less of a threat, given that they are more aware of
what these acts entail. Alternatively, perhaps they are more sexually liberated and less
prudish than the rest of the population. However, one wonders what their partners
would say if they were aware of their online sexual encounters.
While this study does not claim to have all the answers on what constitutes an
act of infidelity and by whom it has revealed new gaps in the literature that need to be
taken-up in future studies. It should be noted that the effect sizes were fairly small for
many of the significant differences obtained, suggesting that there are other variables
we also need to consider. For example, in addition to sexual experience future studies
might consider offline sexual experience. A further breakdown in categories of
relationship status could also highlight some important differences. Other aspects of
infidelity might also be considered. Future research might also find differences in
levels of jealousy in respect to online acts, since it might be the case that people feel
jealous about a certain behavior, but do not consider the behavior to be a violation of
fidelity.
Despite, these limitations, this study does present some interesting findings on
a topic that has great bearing on functioning in today’s society. As the Internet
increases as a popular means of communication, researchers need to start seriously
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questioning how the use of this technology impacts on our every day relationships.
Obviously, such findings highlight that any treatment rationale for infidelity will need
to consider that some online behaviors can pose a real threat to relationships. Indeed,
further research of this kind is imperative if psychologists are to be successful in
counseling partners who believe they have been betrayed by an online affair.
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TABLE 1. CHARACTERISTICS OF THE SAMPLE BY PERCENTAGES
Variable
Entire
Internet
Offline
sample
Gender
Men
42
44
35
Women
58
56
65
17-22 years
31
24
53
23-44 years
57
63
37
45-70 years
12
13
10
In a relationship
73
74
70
Not in a relationship
27
26
30
1-5 hours
28
19
60
6-10 hours
24
26
18
11-15 hours
16
18
9
16-20 hours
12
13
8
21-25 hours
6
7
2
26+ hours
14
17
3
Primary school
1
1
1
High School
40
33
40
Age
Relationship Status
Internet experience
Education
table continues
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Variable
Entire
Internet
Offline
sample
Certificate/diploma
18
17
18
Degree
30
35
30
Postgraduate
11
14
11
36
41
18
Australia/NZ
39
44
99
UK
4
100
0
Americas
52
100
0
Asia
1
100
0
Europe
3
92
1
Middle East
1
100
0
Internet sexual experience
Country
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TABLE 2. MEANS AND STANDARD DEVIATIONS FOR THE ITEMS IN THE
SURVEY
Item
M
SD
Sexual intercourse
4.74
0.81
Cybersex regularly with the same person
4.10
1.21
Hot chat regularly with the same person
3.94
1.21
Cybersex regularly with strangers
3.89
1.30
Cybersex with a stranger-just the once
3.69
1.34
Hot chat regularly with strangers
3.61
1.27
Hot chat with a stranger-just the once
3.22
1.29
Sharing deep emotional and/or intimate
2.34
1.29
2.34
1.29
Strip clubs
2.23
1.32
Pornographic pictures on web sites
1.98
1.26
Pornographic pictures sent via email
1.97
1.28
Pornographic videos and magazines
1.96
1.28
Non-sexual relationship online
1.77
1.17
Non-sexual relationship offline
1.75
1.19
information offline
Sharing deep emotional and/or intimate
information online
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TABLE 3. FACTOR PATTERN MATRIX
Factor 1
Factor 2
Factor 3
Eigenvalues
(7.81)
(2.28)
(1.87)
Explained variance
52%
15%
12%
Cybersex regularly with the same person
.95
-.00
.02
Cybersex regularly with strangers
.92
-.01
-.05
Hot chat regularly with the same person
.88
.01
-.06
Cybersex with a stranger–just the once
.85
.02
-.11
Hot chat regularly with strangers
.83
.01
-.16
Hot chat with a stranger–just the once
.70
.03
-.28
Sexual Intercourse
.54
.02
.14
Share emotional intimacy with opp sex offline
.04
.87
.04
Non-sexual friendship with opp sex online
-.02
.84
-.03
Share emotional intimacy with opp sex online
.13
.84
.04
Non-sexual friendship with opp sex offline
-.10
.77
-.05
Videos/magazines
-.02
.02
-.96
Pornographic pictures on the web
.01
-.00
-.96
Pornographic pictures sent via email
.03
.05
-.80
Strip clubs
.09
.03
-.76
Note. The higher factor loading for each item appears in boldface type.
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TABLE 4. SIGNIFICANT RESULTS FOR SEXUAL INFIDELITY, AND
PORNOGRAPHY
SS
df
F
η2
p
Sexual
Gender x Age
268.59
2
4.34
.013
.01
Age x Relationship
469.82
2
7.59
.001
.01
Internet sexual experience
1217.25
1
39.35
.000
.04
156.40
1
12.43
.000
.01
Pornography
Internet sexual experience
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TOP
3
2
Sexual (mean)
1
0
-1
Age
-2
17-22 years
-3
23-44 years
-4
45-70 years
-5
men
women
Gender
FIG. 1. Interaction for gender age by age on sexual
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TOP
2
Sexual (mean)
1
0
-1
-2
Relationship status
-3
-4
17-22 y ears
no relationship
in a relationship
23-44 y ears
45-70 y ears
Age
FIG. 2. Interaction for age by relationship status on sexual
33