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Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 Descriptive Writing Lesson 6 Student objectives: I. Grammar What are interjections? Parts of Speech: A review II. Figurative Language What are alliteration and assonance? III. Writing Are there words I should avoid using in my writing? Dead words What is descriptive poetry? How do I write descriptive poetry? Grammar What are interjections? Interjections Interjections are words used to express emotion. Many times, interjections express a complete idea and are not part of another sentence. Because interjections express emotions, they are sometimes followed by an exclamation mark. Examples: Hurray! We get to buy ice cream. Sorry! I didn’t mean to bump you. No, you should not have done that. Wow! I won the contest. Oh! Now I get it. When the girl stepped on the thumbtack, she shrieked, “Ouch!” Parts of Speech: A Review Noun: A noun names a person, place, thing, or idea. Adjective: An adjective describes or modifies a noun or pronoun. Adjectives tell us more information about the noun. Verb: A verb expresses what something does or is. Verbs are used to show action, to help other verbs, and to show a state or condition. Page 1 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 Adverb: An adverb describes or modifies a verb, an adjective, or another adverb. Adverbs give the reader more information about when, how often, where, the degree to which, or the manner in which something happens. Conjunction: A conjunction connects two or more words, word groups, or clauses. The following are some common conjunctions: and, but, or, nor, for, yet, and so. Preposition: A preposition is a word or group of words that shows how a noun or pronoun relates to another part of the sentence. Prepositions usually show relationship in regards to location or time. The following are some common prepositions: during, after, around, under, between, before, past, until, and over. (Other examples are listed in Lesson 3.) Interjection: An interjection is added to a sentence to expresses emotion. It is not grammatically related to any other words in the sentence. Because an interjection expresses emotion, an exclamation mark often follows the interjection. The following are some common interjections: Hey! Gee whiz! Ah. Oh! My goodness. Ouch! Parts of Speech: A Review Activity Read each of the following sentences. Each of the underlined words is a particular part of speech. Identify each words as a noun, adjective, verb, adverb, adjective, conjunction, preposition, or interjection. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Petunias bloom brightly in the spring. Running and biking are two of my favorite activities. Oh my goodness! I can’t believe you just said that. It took an amazing amount of courage for him to speak in front of the crowd. When the whales glided toward the open ocean, the marine biologists sighed with relief. 6. She walked through the door to an imaginary world. 7. Though she adored vanilla ice cream, she only indulged seldomly. Figurative Language What are Alliteration and Assonance? Alliteration is a figure of speech where consonant sounds repeat in two or more neighboring words. The repetitive sound is usually at the beginning of each word. Tongue twisters effectively use alliteration to maintain an amusing and entertaining tone, while alliteration in poetry can subtly (or sometimes not so subtly) catch and hold the readers’ attention. Page 2 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 Example: Example: Example: The ridiculously red rhinoceros ran rapidly toward the raging river. Quinella Quist quite quickly quelled the quarreling quartet. The bubbling brook sounded like music as it meandered in the meadow. Assonance is a figure of speech where vowel sounds within a word match the same sounds in words nearby, while the consonant sounds do not match. For example, stream and dream are rhyming words with assonance, and tune and food show assonance. Assonance helps with the flow of a story or poem. It gives a piece of writing a subtle fluidity. Example: Example: The fleeting feet of the sleeping geese sounded quietly in the night. Poetry is old, ancient, goes back far. It is among the oldest of living things. So old it is that no man knows how and why the first poems. ~Carl Sandburg, Early Moon In Robert Frost’s poem “Nothing Gold Can Stay,” he uses both alliteration and assonance to create a poem with wonderful fluidity. Try reading it aloud and appreciating the rhythmic nature of the alliterative and assonant sounds. NOTE: Frost also uses a rhyming pattern to further beautify the poem as it is read aloud. Nothing Gold Can Stay Nature's first green is gold Her hardest hue to hold Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. ~Robert Frost Now You Try It 1. Identify the alliteration in the following phrase by underlining the repeating consonant sound. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Page 3 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 2. Identify the assonance in the following phrase by underlining the repeating vowel sound. I must confess that in my quest I felt depressed and restless. (Thin Lizzy, “With Love”) 3. Create an alliteration using your name. Example: Jumping Ms. Julie _______________________ _______________________ 4. Find or create a phrase that contains assonance. _______________________________________________________________________ Writing Are there words I should avoid using in my writing? Dead Words There are many words in the English language that are useful in conversation but make writing boring, wordy, and vague. These dead words were helpful in getting you started learning to write. Now, you can use more specific, interesting language! Read the following two paragraphs and observe how the writer revised the dead words in his paragraph. (Note: Pronouns can be overused and become boring as well. Notice how the writer used more specific nouns to replace the nouns and pronouns.) Example: The mountains in the distance were pretty and nice. Seeing them made me feel great. They were really cool to look at. Being in nature gave me a good feeling that I will never forget. Revised example: The Sierra Nevada mountains in the distance were captivating and majestic. Observing them gave me a sense of awe. The Sierras were marvelous to view, and being in nature left me ecstatic. The mountains etched a photograph in my mind that I will never forget. We now must lay our dead words to rest and move on to more specific, interesting, and colorful words. I have created a list of dead words and alternative synonyms to help you. This is not a complete list of possible dead words. I encourage you to begin your own list of dead words to spice up your writing and keep your reader interested. Page 4 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 Dead Words Alternative Synonyms sad happy stuff fun cool scared get see do make feel great good funny melancholy, heartbreaking, depressing, miserable, cheerless content, jovial, ecstatic, delighted, pleased, cheerful, on cloud nine items, objects, name the specific nouns you are referring to amusing, enjoyable, entertaining, pleasurable wonderful, marvelous, fascinating, excellent, distinctive frightened, petrified, nervous, anxious, worried, afraid receive, obtain, acquire, buy, discover, succeed in observe, notice, witness, catch a glimpse of, spot, distinguish perform, fix, carry out, execute, act, achieve, accomplish create, build, craft, compose, assemble, produce sense, experience, suffer, believe, deem, consider, touch, handle wonderful, impressive, grand, celebrated, splendid, majestic superior, excellent, first-rate, exceptional, fine, lovely, delightful humorous, comic, hilarious, amusing, witty, laughable, jovial, unusual, unique, distinctive, odd, strange, peculiar extremely, exceedingly, fantastically, unusually, incredibly, intensely, truly, fully, especially, shockingly, bitterly, severely, surely, mightily pleasant, charming, fascinating, captivating, delightful, pleasing very, really nice Begin your own list of dead or boring words to avoid in your own writing. Be ready to share a dead word or two with some alternative synonyms in class! Dead Words Alternative Synonyms While revising the first draft of your poem this week, be sure to replace dead words with more specific and lively words. Page 5 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 What is descriptive poetry? Descriptive poetry is a short piece of imaginative writing, laid out in lines, that is meant to be read aloud. Unlike sentences and paragraphs, poetry does not need to follow grammatical rules or contain specific parts of a paragraph. A poem can be a song, or it can be a picture in words. Many poems rhyme, but free verse poems do not. All strong poems have one thing in common: they are made up of imaginative, colorful, and specific words, as well as various types of figurative language, to create an image, emotion, or other sensation in the mind of the reader. For example, read the poem below by Jack Prelutsky from his book, The New Kid on the Block. You will notice he works with a single focused topic, but he doesn’t reveal it until the end. Enjoy the poem, and think about which of Mr. Prelutsky’s ideas you would like to use in your own poem. Using the questions below, be ready to discuss this poem in our class. Louder Than a Clap of Thunder What do you enjoy about the poem? Louder than a clap of thunder, louder than an eagle screams, louder than a dragon blunders, or a dozen football teams, louder than a four alarmer, or a rushing waterfall, louder than a knight in armor jumping from a ten-foot wall. Louder than an earthquake rumbles, louder than a tidal wave, louder than an ogre grumbles as he stumbles through his cave, louder than stampeding cattle, louder than a cannon roars, louder than a giant’s rattle, that’s how loud my father SNORES! ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ How do you think Mr. Prelutsky chose his topic? ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ What words does Mr. Prelutsky use that you especially like? ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ~Jack Prelutsky Did Mr. Prelutsky use any “dead words” in his poem? If yes, what were they? _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ What types of figurative language did Mr. Prelutsky use in his poem? ______________________________________________________________________________ Page 6 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 What punctuation or grammatical structures did he use (such as capitalization, phrases, complete sentences, punctuation)? ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Was he consistent with this structure? _______________________________________________ In the following example, Christina Rossetti begins with a single focused topic: a caterpillar’s life. Enjoy the poem, and think about which of Ms. Rossetti’s ideas you would like to use in your own poem. Using the questions below, be ready to discuss this poem in our class. Caterpillar What did you enjoy about the poem? ______________________________________ ______________________________________ How do you think she chose her topic? ___________________________________ ___________________________________ Brown and furry Caterpillar in a hurry? Take your walk To the shady leaf or stalk, Or what not, Which may be the chosen spot. No toad spy you, Hovering bird of prey pass by you, Spin and die, To live again as a butterfly. What words did Ms. Rossetti use that you especially liked? _____________________ ~Christina Rossetti ______________________________________________________________________________ Did Ms. Rossetti use any “dead words” in her poem? If yes, what were they, and why do you think she used them? ____________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ What types of figurative language did Ms. Rossetti use in her poem? ______________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ What punctuation or grammatical structures did she use (capitalization, phrases, complete sentences, punctuation)? _________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Was she consistent with this structure? ______________________________________________ Page 7 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 How do I write descriptive poetry? The Writing Process works the same for poetry as it does for paragraph writing. The first step is the prewriting or brainstorming stage. Getting started is often easier if you warm up first. Choose one or more of the prewriting activities below to help warm up your brain. Step 1: Prewriting Word Play: This activity will help you get your rhyming gears working. Choose a word, any word; then, come up with a list of other words that rhyme. Begin with one syllable words and move on to two and more syllable words. Object Observations: Choose an object: a pet, a potato, an MP3 player, a brick wall, anything. Then write down everything you notice about that object. You may even want to observe that object at different times of the day and write down your observations each time. Synonym Silliness: Think of an adjective such as sad, happy, joyous, or angry. Then write down as many words as you can find that have a similar meaning. This may help you as you write your poem. Step 2: Choose your topic. Choose something you find interesting: a pet, a stuffed animal, your favorite place, playing your favorite sport, your sister or brother, your grandmother, a toy, an activity, and so on. Step 3: First Draft Take a long look at the subject or action that you have chosen, and ask yourself the following questions as you begin to write. o What makes your subject special? o Do you want your poem to rhyme? o Do you want your poem to be amusing or serious? o What are the little details that make your subject unique? Example: My dog has long ears that look like old socks. o How can you compare the details of your subjects to other things in the world? o What does your subject do? Does it have an end goal? o How can you show your subject to your reader rather than tell? Example: Rather than saying the sunset is colorful, you could say, “The sunset reminded me of watercolor paints swirling around each other.” o How can you use metaphors, similes, or hyperbole in the poem? Whatever you choose to write about, be sure that you describe something, even if it is silly. Page 8 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 Step 4: Take a break. Once you have finished your first draft, take a break. Take a walk outside, play a game with a family member, or read a book. Find some way to occupy yourself before returning to your poem. Step 5: Revise Read your poem. How could you change it to make it more effective? Ask yourself: o How do the words sound together? o Do the words create a picture in your mind’s eye? o Have other people read your poem. What do they feel? How do they imagine what you are describing? o Do you need to add more details? o How can you rewrite the poem at least once? (Jack Prelutsky once rewrote a poem 100 times!) Stick with your poem until your heart tells you it is finished. If you get stuck, take another break or sleep on it. Sometimes, getting away from the poem will inspire you to make it even stronger at a later time. Just remember to come back to it, though. Step 6: Edit Check your poem for spelling errors. Are you consistent in using grammatical rules? Step 7: Publish Add a picture or drawing, if you like. (Not required.) Send it to your teacher as an attachment. Feel free to check out http://teacher.scholastic.com/writewit/poetry to publish your poem online. Page 9 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 To the right is an example of a free verse poem by Janet S. Wong from her book, The Rainbow Hand: Poems about Mothers and Children. Enjoy! And remember, poems do not need to rhyme to be engaging. In Mother’s Shadow I walk behind Mother through the woods careful not to touch the poison oak she points to with her stick. She sees snakes before they move. She finds her way by the smell of the trees. The very moment my shoes grow heavy, she gives me water, gives me shade in her steady shadow. ~Janet S. Wong Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 Assignments: When typing your assignments, please make sure to use MLA format. When naming your documents, please be sure to include the class name (DW), your name, and the assignment number. Example: DW-Your name-6A Also, when you e-mail your assignments to me as an attachment, be sure the subject line of your email includes the name of your assignment. If you attach several assignments, your subject line should look like the sample below: Example: DW-Your name-6A, 6B, 6C (and so on) 6A. Vocabulary: For this week’s vocabulary, please choose two new words from a book you are reading. Make sure to choose words that you do not know. You will need to look up the definition and synonyms for each of your words. You will also use the word in your own sentence. Do not copy the sentence from the book. Using Word or Open Office, you should create two word entries using the following format: Page 10 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 Word: Definition: Synonyms: Part of Speech: Sentence: Remember to use MLA format! 6B. Figures of Speech Journal: In a book you are reading or in another text, find two examples of alliteration or assonance. Then on one side of an index card or a piece of paper, copy down the example of alliteration or assonance and beneath it draw a picture to represent it. Please feel free to be silly and have fun with it. On the other side of the card or paper, identify the figure of speech as alliteration or assonance and explain why your example shows alliteration or assonance. I highly encourage you to hand write and hand draw these cards. When you have finished your cards, type out each of them (minus the picture) into Word or Open Office. These must be written in complete sentences. Example: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A picture of a small animal cutting wood. This is an example of alliteration. The “ch” and “ck” sounds repeat at the beginning, middle, and end of the words. 6C. Descriptive Writing Assignment: In this assignment, you will write a descriptive poem. There is not a minimum number of lines that you need to write; however, you need to create a complete image and/or feeling in the mind of your reader. Also be sure that you use consistent grammatical patterns. (Example: Begin each new line with a capital letter, or you may choose to only capitalize the letter at the beginning of each sentence. The important point is that you remain consistent.) Please spend time revising your poem with all of the tools we have practiced in this lesson and this class. Page 11 of 12 Descriptive Writing – Lesson 6 You will need to include an example of alliteration or assonance in addition to using MLA format. I would also love to see examples of other forms of figurative language that we have used in this class. Enjoy this poetry assignment, and please send me a message if you have any questions. Step 1: Prewriting. (Choose a prewriting activity to warm up your descriptive juices.) Step 2: Choose your topic:________________________________________________________ Step 3: Write your first draft using ideas you brainstormed in your prewriting activity. (Please remember to include at least one example of alliteration or assonance.) Step 4: Take a break, and do something else for a short time. Step 5: Revise your poem. Try rewriting it at least once. (Please remember to check that you have included at least one example of alliteration or assonance.) Step 6: Edit your poem. Be sure that you have corrected all errors in spelling and that your grammatical patterns are consistent. Step 7: Publish your poem and share it. Page 12 of 12