Download Descriptive/Abstract

WRITING A DESCRIPTION
PAGES 234-240
June 15, 2011
What is Description?
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Description presents information in a way that
appeals to one or more of the five senses – sight,
sound, smell, taste and touch – usually creating an
overall impression or feeling.
“Biting into a tabasco pepper is like aiming a flame-thrower at
your parted lip”
Characteristics of Descriptive Writing:
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Sensory Details
Active Verbs
Dominant Impression
Effective Connotative Language
Comparisons
Organization
Characteristics of Descriptive Writing:
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Sensory Details
 Sight:
Create a “specific” mental picture for your
reader
 Sound: Onomatopoeia – use active verb words that
sound like what they describe: hiss, whine, sizzle
 Smell: Use nouns that evoke distinct odors, but leave it
up to the reader to imagine the smell.
 Taste: Flavor adjectives
 Touch: Texture, temperature, weight.
Characteristics of Descriptive Writing:
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Active Verbs
Use Active Verbs instead of Adverbs to create a more
lasting impression:
Original: The team captain proudly accepted the
award.
Revised: The team captain marched to the podium,
grasped the trophy and gestured toward the team.
Characteristics of Descriptive Writing:
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Dominant Impression
Overall attitude, mood or feeling about the subject
To write an effective description, you need to select details
carefully, including only those that contribute to the dominant
impression you are trying to create.
In “Eating Chilli Peppers” the author is focused on the their
firery hotness. Does he need to include details about size,
shape, texture?
Characteristics of Descriptive Writing:
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Effective Connotative Language
Denotation – the dictionary definition of a word
Connotation – the feelings and attitudes associated with a
word
Be careful of the connotations of words you choose. Make
sure they strengthen the dominant impression you want
to make:
fake/atificial
firm/stubborn
Characteristics of Descriptive Writing:
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Comparisons
When describing a person or an object, you can help
your reader by comparing it to something with which
they are familiar.
Metaphors, Similes, Personification
Characteristics of Descriptive Writing:

Organization
Effective description must follow a clear method of
organization
Spatial Order: terms of physical position of
its parts: top to bottom, left to right
Chronological – events or changes that
occur over time: changes in a child, a
flower, a day.
Most to least, least to most -
Example Paragraph
“Asparagus.”
The word itself made my fingers quiver. It was the length of a sharp
number two pencil but instead of lead it had diminutive leaves
attached to the tip. It had only one purpose which was to fool the
digester into thinking a pretty delicious gift was coming its way. It
was as if they curled around the pointed tip, but I was too smart to
be fooled. I knew that only misery waited under the dark green
lying leaves. It had pale pea-like lines that wrapped around the
forest-like stalks, leaving a quarter of an inch separating the filth
into four or five sections, of horror. Looking from the outside, it
seemed as if it was layered like an onion. It appeared that the first
layer was a sea green with a sheer touch of color from the inside of
a lime. The pigment grew more menacing the deeper the layers
went. The thought of this satanic vegetable going near any part of
my body was ultimately a chaotic nightmare.
Concrete vs. Abstract Language
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Concrete words add life and meaning to your
writing.
General: Store
Less General: Department Store
More Specific: Sears
Specific: Sears at the Galleria Mall
“The red flowers were blooming in our yard”
“Crimson and white petunias were blooming in the garden on
the west side of the garage”
Specific vs. Vague
To make your paragraphs concrete and SPECIFIC, use
the following guidelines:
1. Focus on who, what, when, where, how and why
2. Name names. People, Places, Brands, Objects
3. Use Action Verbs.
4. Use descriptive language to appeal to the senses
(smell, touch, taste, sound, sight)
5. Use adjectives and adverbs carefully.
Verbs
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Do Your Sentences Have Strong, Active Verbs?
 “To
Be” verbs and other linking verbs (feels, became,
seems, appears) which connect a noun or pronoun to
words that describe it, can make your writing dull.
Whenever possible, use stronger, more active verbs!
 “To
Be” Verb: The puppy WAS afraid of thunder.
 Action Verb: The puppy WHIMPERED and QUIVERED during
the thunderstorm.
 Linking Verb: The child LOOKED frightened as she boarded
the bus for her first day of kindergarten.
 Action Verb: The child TREMBLED and CLUNG to her sister as
she boarded the bus for her first day of kindergarten.
Passive/Active Verbs
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In a sentence containing PASSIVE VERBS (“to be”),
the subject does not perform the action of the verb
but instead receives the action. By contrast, in a
sentence with an ACTIVE VERB, the subject performs
the action.
 Passive:
It WAS CLAIMED by the cyclist that the motorist
failed to yield the right of way.
 Active: The cyclist CLAIMED that the motorist failed to
yield the right of way.
Verbs
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“TO BE” Verbs (Passive) am, is, are, was, were, be,
being, been
The car WAS REPAIRED by Tom
 Once a week, the house IS CLEANED by Jane
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Action Verbs (Active): Express physical or mental
activities.
The dog RAN down the street
 Jen THOUGHT the assignment was due.
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Passive vs. Past Tense
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Past Tense: I taught; I learned.
Passive Voice: I was (have been) taught [by someone]; It
was (has been) learned [by someone].
Present Tense: I teach; I learn.
Passive Voice: I am [being] taught [by someone]; It is
[being] learned [by someone].
Future Tense: I will teach; I will learn.
Passive Voice:I will be taught [by someone];It will be
learned [by someone].
Concrete vs. Abstract Language
Revise the following sentences by adding concrete,
specific details. Make sure to use active verbs!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The book I took on vacation was exciting reading.
The vase in the museum was an antique.
At the crime scene, the reporter questioned the witnesses.
The students watched as the instructor entered the lecture hall.
The house was old and needed updating.
Homework for Monday
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Bring 3 copies of your descriptive paragraphs,
typed and in MLA format. You may write about a
person or a place.
Narrative Frame and “Show, Don’t Tell”