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Why this Whyisdo wehard? need to 1. What you mean to communicate? say 1. To survive 2. What you actually 2. For say relationships 3. Whatisthe other What person hears communication? 4. What theofother Process person thinks they conveying hear feelings, 5.What the other attitudes, person saysacts, 6. What youand think the beliefs ideas other person said • • • • The Idea Encoding Transmission Receiving Decoding Understanding Feedback Noise External Internal Or Passive listening because there is no verbal feedback Key element is feedback: helps communication, develop relationships and people to work together Nonverbal Communication • • • • Can relate to the verbal message in 3 ways: It can reinforce the verbal message It can replace the verbal message It can contradict the verbal message • Facial Expressions • Vocal Qualities • Gestures • Touching • Personal Space • Distances • Intimate distance: 18” • Personal Distance: 18” - 4’ • Social Distance: 4’ – 12’ • Public Distance: 12’ + • Physical Environment • Clothing • Silence •Semantics •Assumptions •Emotional Phrases • You wouldn’t understand, After all I’ve done for you, You wouldn’t do that if you really cared about me, When I was your age… • Males: status and independence • Females: Connection and intimacy • Communication: both genders could adapt some of the othes style Much more than hearing and seeing: an active process. Most often, 75% of communication is ignored, misunderstood or forgotten • • • • • Ignoring Pretending Selective Attentive Empathetic Listening • • • • • • • • • • • • Judging Criticizing Behavior instead of personalities No “you” messages Observations instead of judgments Don’t do it when angry or upset Don’t give advice Advising Interpreting Supporting Questioning Understanding Active Listening • Posture • Open ended questions: What, where, when, how, etc? • Close ended questions: Answered with yes or no • Minimal Encourages • Reflective Responses Other Listening Activity Questioning Activity • Tell your group members: • The best thing that happened to me in 2008 happened at the_____ (location). • Ask 10 open ended questions to learn what happened. When, who were you with, what were you wearing, etc. [You cannot ask “What happened?] • Then switch to, “The worst thing that happened to me in 2008 was at the____ . • This time use 10 close ended questions to find out more. Yes / No questions • Were you swimming at the time? Were you with your sibling? Were you with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Etc.