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Prof. Millie Roqueta
CHAPTER 7 SUMMARY
Chapter 7
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
1. The process of interpersonal communication
2. Components of the communication process
3. General principles of nonverbal communication
4. Elements of nonverbal communication
5. Detecting deception
6. Significance of nonverbal communication in interpersonal relationships
7. Creating a positive interpersonal climate
8. Conversational skills
9. Self-disclosure
10. Effective listening
11. Communication apprehension
12. Barriers to effective communication
13. Beliefs about conflict
14. Types of conflict
15. Styles of managing conflict
16. Dealing constructively with conflict
17. Public communication in an adversarial culture
18. Application: Developing an assertive communication style
The Process of Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal
Communication
Interpersonal communication: an interactional process whereby
one person sends a message to another.
1. At least two people must be involved
2. It is a process
3. The process is interactional (i.e., not a one-way street)
The importance of communication:
1. Communication is an essential aspect of everyday life.
You cannot not communicate.
2. The quality of our communications can affect our
satisfaction in relationships.
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Components
of the
Communication
Process
There are six essential components of the interpersonal
communication process:
1. Sender: the person who initiates the message.

In a typical two-way conversation, both people serve
as senders (as well as receivers).
2. Receiver: the person to whom the message is targeted.
3. Message: the information transmitted from sender to receiver.

Senders encode ideas into messages; receivers
decode messages into ideas.

The primary means of sending messages is
language.

Nonverbal communications (facial expressions,
gestures, and vocal Inflections) also convey
messages. They are used to supplement (and
sometimes entirely change) the meaning of a verbal
message.
4. Channel: the sensory channel through which the message
reaches the receiver.
 Typically, people receive information from multiple
channels simultaneously.
 In addition to hearing what other people say, we also
see the person’s facial expressions, observe their
gestures, experience eye contact, and sometimes feel
the person’s touch.
 Messages from the various channels may be
consistent or inconsistent with each other, making their
interpretation more or less difficult.
 Hearing- or visually-impaired individuals send and
receive messages through alternate channels.
 Whenever two people talk, miscommunication can
occur.
5. Noise: any stimulus that interferes with accurately expressing
or understanding a message.
 Sources of noise can be environmental factors such as
street traffic, loud music, cellular phones, etc.
 Physical factors such as poor hearing, poor vision.
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 Noise can also have semantic origins, such as
emotionally loaded words, profanity, ethnic slurs, or
sexist language, which can cause a listener to
disregard the larger message.
 Psychological factors such as defensiveness and
anxiety can contribute to noise.
6. Context: the environment in which communication takes
place.
 Context can include the physical place.
 The nature of the participants’ relationship.
 The participants’ current mood.
 The participants’ cultural background.
Nonverbal Communication
Definition and
General Principles
Nonverbal communication: the transmission of meaning from
one person to another through means or symbols other than
words.
General principles of nonverbal communication:
1. Nonverbal communication is multichanneled.
 Nonverbal communications typically involve simultaneous
messages sent through a number of channels.
 Information may be transmitted through gestures, facial
expressions, eye contact, posture, and vocal tone.
2. Nonverbal communication is relatively ambiguous.
 The gestures we use can mean different things to different
people (for example, the meaning of a shrug or a raised
eyebrow).
 It is also difficult to know whether nonverbal messages are
being sent intentionally.
 Few nonverbal signals carry universally accepted
meanings, even within the same culture.
 Nonverbal cues are informative, but they are most reliable
when accompanied by verbal messages and embedded in
a familiar cultural and social context.
3. Nonverbal communication conveys emotions.
 We often communicate our feelings without saying a word.
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4. Nonverbal communications may contradict verbal messages.
 When confronted with contradictory messages, you’re
probably better off heeding the nonverbal signs.
5. Nonverbal communication is culture-bound.
 Like language, nonverbal signals are different in different
cultures.
Elements of
Nonverbal
Communication
1. Personal space: a zone of space surrounding a person that is felt to
"belong" to that person.
a. Proxemics: the study of people's use of interpersonal space

Four interpersonal distance zones have been identified
in middle-class encounters in American culture:
Zone 1 – Intimate Distance, 0-18”
Zone 2 – Personal Distance, 18” – 4’
Zone 3 – Social Distance, 4’ – 12’
Zone 4 – Public Distance, 12’+
b. Other animals show a similar tendency, called territoriality.
c. Size of personal space depends on the nature of the
relationship and the type of situation.

Distance is regulated by social norms; varies by
culture.

Women seem to have smaller personal spaces than
men.

People of similar status tend to stand closer together.
d. Invasions of personal space elicit a variety of reactions.
2. Facial expressions
a. Generally convey emotions.
b. Six emotions associated with distinctive facial expressions:
anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, surprise.
c. Some facial expressions are universally recognized but many
expressions vary from culture to culture.
d. Display rules: norms that govern the appropriate display of
emotions.
e. People can regulate facial expressions to deceive others.
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3. Eye contact
a. Duration of eye contact is most meaningful.

In the U.S., high levels of eye contact are associated
with attentiveness.

High levels are also associated with effective social
skills, credibility.
b. Gaze is means of communicating intensity of feelings, but not
positive or negative emotion – those are conveyed through
context and vocal tone.
c. Culture affects patterns of eye contact.
d. Gender and racial differences have been found in the United
States.
4. Body language
a. Kinesics: the study of communication through body
movements.
b. Provides information about person's level of tension.
c. Body posture also conveys information

"Open" position conveys feeling of relaxation.

Leaning toward another person indicates interest,
positive attitude.

“Closed" position associated with lower status.
d. Hand gestures are primarily used to regulate conversations,
supplement speech.
5. Touch
a. Takes many forms and can convey a variety of meanings,
including support, consolation, and sexual intimacy.
b. Can also convey messages of status and power.
c. Strong norms about where people are allowed to touch each
other.
d. Gender differences in responses to touching:

Women generally respond more favorably.

Gender difference may depend on status differences.
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6. Paralanguage: all vocal cues other than the content of the verbal
message itself.
a. Relates to how something is said, rather than what is said.
b. Cues include intensity, speed, and rhythm of speech.
c. Aspects of vocalization can communicate emotions.
Detecting Deception

Loud vocalization often indicates anger.

High pitch may indicate anxiety.
1. It's possible to detect deception, but it isn't easy.
2. Vocal cues include excessive hesitations, stammering.
3. Visual cues include excessive blinking, dilation of pupils.
4. Liars nervously touch themselves more than normal.
5. Use of polygraph: device that records fluctuations in
physiological arousal as a person answers questions.
a. Called a "lie detector," it's really an emotion detector.
b. Monitors indicators of autonomic arousal (e.g., heart
rate, blood pressure, respiration rate, and perspiration).
c. Studies show polygraph is inaccurate one-fourth to onethird of the time.
The Significance of
Nonverbal
Communication
Although people are unaware of nonverbal communication, it
plays a central role in everyone’s life.
1. Negative feelings toward someone will "leak" through
nonverbal channels.
2. Research indicates that people with negative self-views are
not likely to detect negative, nonverbal messages.
3. Accuracy in reading emotions of others is related to social
competence, status.
4. More negative messages, fewer positive messages
associated with unhappy marriages.
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Toward More Effective Communication
Creating a
Positive
Interpersonal
Climate
1. Learn to feel and communicate empathy.
Empathy: adopting another's frame of reference so you can
understand his or her point of view.

Sensitivity to others' needs and acceptance of their
feelings are hallmarks of empathy.

Providing support does not mean you must also
endorse individual's behavior.
2. Practice withholding judgment.
3. Strive for honesty.

Mutual trust and respect are based in authenticity and
honesty.

Avoid “hidden-agendas”.

You can be honest without being hurtful.
4. Approach others as equals.

Most people dislike being reminded of another’s higher
status or greater ability.
5. Express opinions tentatively.

Conversational
Skills
Rather than coming across as a “know-it-all”, let others
know that you are flexible and open to their ideas.
Some people can launch right into a conversation with a stranger with
no problem, while others break into a sweat just thinking about it.
Here are some general guidelines to improve your conversational
skills:
A. Principles of making conversation:
1. Give others your attention and respect.
2. Focus on the other person instead of yourself.
3. Use nonverbal cues to communicate interest in other
person.
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B. Breaking the ice in conversation:
1. Use ritual questions (e.g., "Are you from around here?")
2. Ask for information
3. Give a compliment
4. Use humor
5. Use current events
6. Try being direct
Self-Disclosure
Self-disclosure: the voluntary act of verbally communicating
information about yourself to another person.
1. Self-disclosure is of critical importance to psychological
adjustment.
a.
Sharing problems with others plays key role in
mental health.
b.
Emotional self-disclosures lead to feelings of
closeness.
c.
Self-disclosure in romantic relationships is related to
relationship satisfaction.
2. Reducing the risks of self-disclosure.
a.
Use the strategy of gradual self-disclosure.
b.
Be discriminating about sharing personal
information:

Pay attention to verbal, nonverbal cues from
conversational partner.

Look for reciprocation of self-disclosure.
3. Self-disclosure and relationship development:
a.
Emotional disclosures lead to feelings of closeness.
b.
Self-disclosure varies over course of relationship,
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with higher levels at beginning.
c.
Movement away from equal exchanges of selfdisclosure is based on needs that emerge as
relationship develops.

Need for support

Need for privacy
d. Self-disclosure changes when relationships are
in distress.
4. Culture, gender, and self-disclosure:
a. Individualistic and collectivistic societies show
differences in self-disclosure.
b. In United States, women tend to self-disclose
more than men, although difference is not as
large as once believed.

Difference is greatest in same-gender
relationships.

Gender differences are attributed to
socialization.

Men tend to self-disclose more with
strangers; with friends, they share activities
rather than talk.
Effective Listening A. There are three main points to keep in mind in effective
listening:
1. Communicate your interest in the speaker by using
nonverbal cues
2. Engage in active listening
a) Pay careful attention, process information
b) Ask for clarification
c) Use paraphrasing
3. Pay attention to nonverbal signals
B. The key is to devote active effort to the task.
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Communication Problems
Communication
Apprehension
Communication apprehension: anxiety caused by having to talk
with others.
1. Bodily experiences include increases in heart rate, cold
hands, and dry mouth.
2. Four responses to communication apprehension.
a. Communication avoidance – a reaction that occurs
when people confronted with a communication situation
can choose whether they want to participate.
b. Communication withdrawal – occurs when people
unexpectedly find themselves trapped in a
communication situation that they can’t escape.
c. Communication disruption - the inability to make fluent
oral presentations or to engage in appropriate verbal or
nonverbal behavior.
d. Excessive communication – a relatively unusual
response to high communication apprehension where
people dominate the social situation by talking nonstop.
3. People with high levels of communication apprehension are
likely to have difficulties in interpersonal relationships.
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Barriers to
Effective
Communication
There are a number of barriers to effective communication:
1. Defensiveness
a. The most basic barrier to effective communication.
b. Threat need not be real to elicit defensive behavior.
2. Motivational distortion
a.
People sometimes hear what they want to hear.
b.
Selective attention may cause distortion.
c.
Tendency to distort occurs most often in discussions
of issues that people feel strongly about (e.g.,
politics).
3. Self-preoccupation
4.
a.
Self-preoccupied people rarely listen attentively.
b.
Self-preoccupied people can cause negative
reactions in others.

Content of remarks is usually self-serving.

Take up more than their share of
conversation time.
Game playing
a.
Games: manipulative interactions progressing
toward a predictable outcome, in which people
conceal their real motivations
1. Involve use of ambiguous, indirect, or
deceptive statements
2. Games are destructive element in
relationships
5.
Collusion
a.
Collusion: when two people have an unspoken
agreement to deny some problematic aspect of
reality in order to sustain their relationship
b.
Involves mutual denial, suppression of discussion.
Interpersonal Conflict
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Beliefs About
Conflict
Interpersonal conflict: exists whenever two or more people
disagree.
Beliefs about conflict:
1. Although many people assume that conflict is bad, it is neither
inherently bad nor inherently good.
2. Collectivistic cultures often avoid conflict, whereas
individualistic cultures tend to encourage direct confrontations.
3. When dealt with constructively, interpersonal conflict can lead
to valuable outcomes.
a. Bring problems out into the open.
b. Put an end to chronic sources of discontent in
relationship.
c. Lead to new insights.
Types of Conflict
1. Pseudoconflict
a. A false conflict.
b. Key to management is to recognize game, avoid being
drawn in.
2. Fact-based conflicts
a.
Disagreement about issues of factual nature.
b.
Check facts, don't dwell on who was right and wrong.
3. Policy conflicts
a.
Disagreements about how to handle a situation.
b.
Best solutions usually address the problem and the
feelings of both parties involved.
4. Value conflicts
a.
Disagreements on personal values (e.g., religion).
b.
A particular problem in intimate relationships.
c.
People may have to take turns obliging each other.
d.
Better to match up with person who has similar values.
5. Ego conflicts
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Styles of
Managing
Conflict
a.
People tend to view outcome as measure of selfworth.
b.
Associated with negative personal judgments.
c.
Key is to recognize them, return to content level.
A. Two dimensions underlie the different styles:
1. Interest in satisfying one's own concerns.
2. Interest in satisfying other's concerns.
B. The five styles:
1. Avoidance

Characterized by low concern for self and others.

Generally just delays the inevitable clash.
2. Accommodation

Low concern for self, high concern for others.

May lead to feelings of resentment.
3. Competition
4.

High concern for self, low concern for others.

Likely to lead to post-conflict tension, resentment.
Compromise

Moderate concern for self and others.

A pragmatic approach that is fairly constructive.
5. Collaboration

High concern for self and others.

Involves a sincere effort to find a solution that will
maximize satisfaction of both parties.

Most productive approach for dealing with conflict.
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Dealing
Constructively
with Conflict
1. General principles
a. Approach other person as an equal.
b. Define the conflict as a mutual problem.
c. Choose a mutually acceptable time to work on resolving
conflict.
d. Show respect for the other person's position.
e. Communicate your willingness to modify your position.
2. Explicit guidelines
a. Make communication open, honest. Use “I” language.
b. Phrase statements about other person's annoying habits in
terms of specific behaviors, not global traits.
c. Avoid "loaded" words.
d. Use positive approach.
e. Limit complaints to recent behavior, present situation.
f. Assume responsibility for own feelings, preferences.
Public
1. According to sociolinguist Deborah Tannen, contemporary America
Communication
is "the argument culture”.
in an
Adversarial
2. Contributing factors
Culture
a. Adversarial nature of America's individualistic culture.
b. Tendency to see things in terms of opposites (e.g., good
versus bad).
c. Face-to-face communication is on decline.
1. As function of advances in technology.
2. People spend more time on their own, don't learn to
interact effectively with others.
d. Exposure to high levels of physical, verbal aggression,
especially on television.
1. Contributes to development of aggressiveness in
some children.
2. Viewers become desensitized to violence.
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3. Restoring productive public communication
a. Social institutions (e.g., government, media) could institute
changes.
b. Individuals can create positive interpersonal climate.
c. Parents have special role.
1. Can limit children's exposure to physical, verbal
aggression.
2. Can encourage non-aggressive ways of resolving
childhood conflicts.
Application:
Developing an
Assertive
Communication
Style
A. The nature of assertiveness (acting in your own best interests by
expressing your thoughts and feelings directly and honestly)
1. Submissive communication is consistently giving in to others on
points of contention.
2. Aggressive communication

Not the same as assertive communication.

Involves an intention to hurt or harm another.
3. Assertive communication is more adaptive than either submissive or
aggressive communication.
B. Steps in assertiveness training
1. Understand what assertive communication is.

Process can be critical for people to whom assertive
communication is unfamiliar.

Should use consistent nonverbal messages.
2. Monitor your assertive communication.
3. Observe a model's assertive communication.
4. Practice assertive communication.
5. Adopt an assertive attitude.
Discussion Questions
1.
How does the physical place in which a conversation takes place influence
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the kind of communication that occurs? How would a conversation with a
close friend be different if it took place in the privacy of an apartment in
contrast to a public place such as fast food restaurant or a shopping mall?
2.
A form of interpersonal communication that generally includes nonverbal
aspects is flirting behavior. Can you think of some examples of nonverbal
behaviors you've engaged in to communicate to someone that you find him
or her attractive?
3.
Look around the classroom. Can you identify any examples of people
marking off their personal space? In general, how does territorial behavior in
humans compare to that in other animals?
4.
Do you think it’s possible for people to exert conscious control over the facial
expressions that are used to convey basic emotions (e.g., anger, disgust,
fear)? What kinds of people are likely to be particularly skillful at
manipulating their facial expressions?
5.
Have you ever been in a situation in which someone you didn’t know very
well showed a tendency to engage in prolonged eye contact with you? What
was your reaction?
6.
Do you tend to touch other people during conversations with them? What
kinds of reactions does this behavior tend to elicit?
7.
In the discussion of polygraphs, your textbook mentions that some people
can lie without experiencing physiological arousal. What other kinds of
personality traits might such people exhibit?
8.
Some people seem to be prone to revealing their innermost secrets to people
who are not interested. Have you ever been the receiver of self-disclosure
that you felt was inappropriate? What kind of impression did you form of the
other person in this case?
9.
Research findings suggest that women are generally more likely to engage in
self-disclosure than men. Is this consistent with your own experiences? Can
you think of any possible explanations for this gender difference?
10.
The textbook discusses self-disclosure in verbal communication, but it is also
possible to self-disclose in written form (i.e., in a letter) or through electronic
mail. Do you think people may be more willing to self-disclose in situations
other than face-to-face interactions? Why or why not?
11.
With our increased reliance on technology and computer networks, a lot of
interpersonal communication is done via electronic mail and chat rooms on
the Internet. What advantages and disadvantages do you see with this form
of communication?
12.
The textbook discusses the importance of empathy in verbal communication.
Do you think it's possible for a person to convey empathy toward another
individual without actually feeling empathetic? How might you recognize that
another person was being deceptively empathetic?
13.
The textbook mentions the breadth and depth of self-disclosure. Do you
think either of these characteristics is more important than the other in an
intimate social relationship? Why?
14.
Do you agree with Deborah Tannen’s characterization of contemporary
America as “the argument culture?” What kinds of public behavior have you
witnessed that would support this claim?
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Chapter Summary References:
Adapted by Roqueta, M. (2002), from Weiten, W., & Lloyd, M. A. (2003), Psychology
applied to modern life: Adjustment in the 21st Century. Belmont, CA:
Wadsworth/Thomson Learning.
Table References:
None.
Websites:
Center for Nonverbal Studies: The home page of the Center for Nonverbal Studies,
an interesting multidisciplinary research group. Features a fascinating Nonverbal
Dictionary.
Dispute Resolution: Fascinating website featuring many links to information on conflict
management strategies for many contexts.
Effective Communication: A business-oriented website that explores four different
channels of communication.
Mind Tools - Communication Skills: This Mind Tool page focuses on communication
skills.
Psychological Self-help: This self-help online chapter focuses on Methods for
Developing Skills in Communication.
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