Download LECTURE 9: THE LANGUAGE IN COMMUNICATION II

LECTURE 9: THE LANGUAGE
IN COMMUNICATION II
Unit Objectives
• At the end of the unit, you will be able to:
• define and describe the major principles of verbal messages;
• explain some of the ways in which to communicate criticism, praise,
and appraisal;
• list the reasons why people lie and explain dimensions of lying;
• define confirmation and disconfirmation and provide examples; and
• state the main barriers to effective speech communication and
suggest corrective measures
• describe racist, sexist, and heterosexist language and explain their
impact on communication practice.
Exclusive and
Inclusive Talk
• Exclusive Talk
– talk that is of interest only to one particular group;
– other groups are 'excluded' from the topic of conversation
– e.g. communication between a group of doctors in the presence
of non-doctors; talking about one's country to others of the same
nationality within a heterogeneous group of people from various
countries.
– Exclusive talk also includes self-talk that centres on the self
exclusively and on little else.
• Inclusive Talk
– making an attempt to include everyone involved in the
conversation,
– making people feel a part of the communication situation.
Downward and
Equality Talk
• Downward Talk
– the sender creates a message that is condescending or
patronising, and manipulative or directive
– the speaker puts himself or herself above others and addresses
them from this position of power. E.g. "I know you probably don't
realise this but…" or "You probably don't keep abreast with
developments in computer technology, so…."
– the speaker tells people how they should feel e.g. "Don't be silly,
you'll pass the course", or "Forget about the cheat. You'll meet
someone better pretty soon", or even "Lots of people are worse
off. Don't feel sorry for yourself!"
– the speaker interrupts others rudely to have his or her say in the
matter at hand.
• Equality Talk
– opposite of downward talk
– sender treats everyone involved as an equal;
everyone has a right to speak and has a right to be
heard
• Power Play
– special type of talk that puts the listener down to allow
the sender to get what s/he wants often using more
elaborate ways e.g. by expressing ignorance of the
rules of social etiquette: "I didn't know you don't want
me to look into your mail-box, so I took the liberty
to…", "Do you want me to knock before I come into
your office next time?" and so on.
•
Management Strategies (particularly for
controlling downward talk)
– Express your feelings about the message
– Describe the behaviour you object to
– State/Suggest a co-operative response that
both parties can live comfortably with
Criticism, Praise,
and Honest Appraisal
• Criticising is not simply finding fault with a
person's behaviour or character.
– we have to highlight both strengths and weaknesses
with a view to help shortcomings
– must be constructive to be worthwhile for the parties
concerned.
• Praise is communication that is meant to
compliment or to say something positive about
people and/or their behaviour.
• Appraisal involves added judgement or value.
• Important to distinguish when a person is asking
for a compliment, a critique and/or appraisal.
How to Criticise
• A few tips on how to extend criticism:
– Focus on the event or behaviour, not on the person
– Take responsibility for your criticism (criticism is
owned by the speaker rather than the listener).
– State concern for the other person along with the
criticism.
– Be specific to make the criticism work better.
– Avoid mind reading. E.g. "Don't you ever care
enough about …..” compared with "I'd use a stronger
introduction and friendlier style to address the
interests of the readers."
Giving Praise
• Praise is positive feedback that is given to a
person or group of people:
– Use I-messages e.g. "I thought your performance in
the play was good. I particularly liked the way you…"
is certainly better than "Your performance in the play
was good."
– Use positive non-verbal feedback to support the
verbal message (provided these are appropriate to
the cultural context of the speaker and/or the listener)
e.g. touching the forearm, patting on the shoulder,
smiling, etc.
– Be specific by extending the I-message (see
example in 1 above)
Lying and Honesty
• 'Lying' may be defined as the act of
deliberately misleading another person by
giving false information (commission)
and/or providing incomplete information
about an issue/topic/matter (omission).
• Reasons for lying
– Gain some kind of reward and/or to escape
punishment
– Basic needs - lies told to gain or to retain objects that
fulfil basic needs such as money and food
– Affiliation - lies told to increase desired
affiliation/association or to decrease undesired
affiliations
– Self-esteem - lies told to protect or increase one's
self-esteem of oneself, the person one is interacting
with or some third party
– Self-gratification - lies told to achieve some personal
satisfaction such as humour
• Two dimensions of lying:
• The ethical dimension to lying concerns
deciding or at least thinking about what is right
and what is wrong about not telling the truth.
• The effectiveness dimension is about whether
the lie succeeds or fails to gain the reward or
avoid the punishment that gave rise to the lie in
the first place.
• One has to examine one's own beliefs and
communication practice within the relevant
cultural context(s).
Gossip and
Confidentiality
• Gossip is idle, third party talk, which might
include rumour, especially about the personal or
private affairs of others.
• Some problems of gossip:
– Confidentiality broken
– Invasion of privacy
• Ethical implications of gossip:
– revealing information that you have promised to keep
secret
– Knowing something to be false and yet passing it on
– Being invasive by invading people's privacy