Download Listening - MRS. NEWTON`S CLASSES

LISTENING
Listening Facts . . .


. . . 45% of people’s time
is spent listening . . . (vii)
As one moves up the
corporate ladder, the
percentage of time
increases to 55%. (vii)

. . . the idea of listening as a “skill” is unfamiliar.
Communication as a “skill” is a common enough
concept.

Yet, of all the time we spend in communication, by
far the greatest is spent in listening:
 40%
Listening
 35% Talking
 16% Reading
 9% Writing (2).

We spend 70% of our waking hours in verbal
communication. (2)



When we think about listening, we tend to assume it
is basically the same as hearing.
This is a dangerous
misconception because
it leads us to believe
effective listening is instinctive.
As a result we make little
effort to learn or develop
listening skills and unknowingly
neglect a vital communication function. (3)

Consequently, we create unnecessary problems for
ourselves:
 Misunderstandings

Consequently, we create unnecessary problems for
ourselves:
 Misunderstandings
 hurt
feelings

Consequently, we create unnecessary problems for
ourselves:
 Misunderstandings
 hurt
feelings
 confused instructions

Consequently, we create unnecessary problems for
ourselves:
 Misunderstandings
 hurt
feelings
 confused instructions
 loss of important information

Consequently, we create unnecessary problems for
ourselves:
 Misunderstandings
 hurt
feelings
 confused instructions
 loss of important information
 Embarrassment

Consequently, we create unnecessary problems for
ourselves:
 Misunderstandings
 hurt
feelings
 confused instructions
 loss of important information
 embarrassment
 and frustration.

We also lose the opportunity to improve our
professional and personal relationships. (3)



Listening involves a more sophisticated mental
process than hearing.
It demands energy and discipline. Listening is a
learned skill.
The first step is to realize that effective listening is
an active, not a passive process. (3)

What is listening, then? One way to answer this
question is to ask two other questions:
 What
does it feel like to really listen to someone else?
 What does it feel like when someone really listens to
you? (3)

The answers to these questions provide a definition
of effective listening . . .
Definition of Effective Listening

Listening is
 (a)
taking in information from speakers, other people or
ourselves, while remaining nonjudgmental and
empathetic;
Definition of Effective Listening

Listening is
 (a)
taking in information from speakers, other people or
ourselves, while remaining nonjudgmental and
empathetic;
 (b) acknowledging the
talker in a way that
invites the communication
to continue; and
Definition of Effective Listening

Listening is
 (a)
taking in information from speakers, other people or
ourselves, while remaining nonjudgmental and
empathetic;
 (b) acknowledging the talker in a way that invites the
communication to continue; and
 (c) providing limited,
but encouraging, input
to the talker’s response,
carrying the person’s
idea one step forward.
Definition of Effective Listening
This definition stresses the listener’s
responsibility in the communication
process. Although listening is one
of the most demanding aspects
of communication, it is also one
of the most rewarding. (3)

Listening as a way to acknowledge someone often
increases self-esteem. It is a way of saying to the
talker, “You are important, and I am not judging
you.” (5)


People who are being listened to usually
appreciate the people who are doing the listening
and cooperate with them.
Why? Acknowledgment is
a basic, universal, human
need. We are more likely
to respond positively to a
person who meets these
needs than to one who
does not. (5)

Listening is a potent force for reducing stress and
tension. True listening builds teamwork, trust, and a
sense of belonging to a group.

When people know they are talking to a listener
instead of someone who sits in judgment, they
openly suggest ideas and share thoughts. (5)

A request for listening
is usually not a request
for giving advice. It is a
request to be listened
to nonjudgmentally,
from the heart. (6)

Active listening alleviates a problem by giving the
person a chance to talk it through while
experiencing emotional release and at the same
time providing limited and empathetic input that
conveys to the talker your concern and
nonjudgmental attitude. (6)

Given the opportunity to solve their own problems,
people tend to feel more confident in their abilities.
(6)

Employees/students/people who are listened to will
not bottle up their feelings. Listening tells the
person, “Your feelings are legitimate.”

People who are not listened to get the message that
their feelings are not important. (6)
SELF-AWARENESS

Effective listening involves not only tuning in to
others, but tuning in to ourselves. Listening carefully
to what we say and how we say it can teach us an
immense amount about ourselves. (6)
SELF-AWARENESS

Statements we make about ourselves or others reflect
our own self-concept, our thought patterns, and our
belief systems. If, for example, you heard yourself
making the following statements, what would you learn
about yourself?
“I’m not very artistic—can’t draw a straight line with a
ruler.”
 “I can’t get a promotion—I don’t have a degree.”
 “I can’t get to anything on time.”
 “I’d like to tell my boss how I feel, but I can’t.”
 Someday I’m going to find time to get organized.”
 “I can’t handle angry people.”



Bosses/teachers who listen earn the respect and
loyalty of their staff/students. They discover
important things about how the business/class is
going. (8)
The same applies to
students: students who
listen to their teachers
earn the respect and
loyalty of their teachers.


Employees/students frequently have excellent ideas
about improving productivity of the work
environment.
Managers/teachers who
listen for these ideas solve
more problems than those
who do not. These managers/
teachers create a sense of
concern for their staff/students
while receiving better-quality
information/learning. (8)

All of us listen at different levels of efficiency
throughout the day, depending on the circumstances
and the people involved.

For instance, most often people have difficulty
listening effectively when in a conflict situation,
when dealing with emotional people, when criticism
is being directed at them, when they are being
disciplined, or when feeling anxious, fearful, or
angry.

Others listen effectively on the job but tune out
when they get home. (13)
Three Levels of Listening:
 Level
 At
1: Empathetic Listening.
this level, listeners refrain from judging the talker and
place themselves in the other’s position, attempting to see
things from his or her point of view. The overall focus is to
listen from the heart, which opens the doorway to
understanding, caring, and empathy.
Three Levels of Listening:
 Level
 At
2: Hearing words, but not really listening.
this level, people stay at the surface of the communication
and do not understand the deeper meanings of what is
being said. They try to hear what the speaker is saying but
make little effort to understand the speaker’s intent.
 At Level 2, the speaker may
be lulled into a false sense
of being listened to and
understood.
Three Levels of Listening:
 Level
3: Listening in spurts.
 Tuning
in and tuning out, being somewhat aware of others,
but mainly paying attention to oneself. One follows the
discussion only enough to get a chance to talk.
 Often a person listening at this level is faking attention while
thinking about unrelated matters, making judgments, forming
rebuttals, or advice, or preparing what
he or she wants to say next.
 The listener may display a blank stare
and is more interested in talking than
listening. (14)

Most of us listen at all three levels during the course
of a day. However, the goal is to listen at level 1 in
all situations. (14)
Let’s become aware
of the power of listening!!!