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Interpersonal Attraction
• Of all the people you meet, how do you choose
those few who become your friends? Or your
girlfriend/boyfriend? Or who you marry?
• Interpersonal psychology is the branch of
psychology that deals with friendship and
romantic relationships.
First Dates
• Which of the following has the largest impact on
impressions during first dates?
•
•
•
•
Similarities of attitudes
Personality
Intelligence
Physical Attractiveness
True
Attractiveness
• When asked what they looked for in a potential date, most college students
put "physical attractiveness" at the bottom of their list.
True
• Elaine Hatfield randomly matched incoming students at the University of
Minnesota for a blind date. The students previously had been given a battery
of personality tests. Intelligence, masculinity, femininity, dominance,
submission, sensitivity and sincerity had little effect on liking.
True
• The one determinant of whether or not a couple liked each other and
actually repeated their date was their physical attractiveness.
True
• Another study, however, looked at long-term dating; it found that couples
who were well-matched in terms of physical attractiveness were more
deeply involved with each other after 9 months than were those who
differed from each other in physical attractiveness.
True
Childhood
• What about childhood? Women were asked to examine reports of
severe classroom disturbances, apparently written by a teacher. A
photo of the child involved was attached. In some cases, the child
was physically attractive, in others less attractive.
• The women tended to place more blame on the less attractive
children and to infer that this was typical of their everyday behavior.
True
• When the child was pictured as physically attractive, however, the
women tended to excuse the disruptive behavior. Attractive children
are given the benefit of a doubt.
True
• The work of attractive individuals is evaluated higher than the same
work attributed to a less attractive individual.
True
Competence
• There was a study done in which there were four experimental conditions.
Rank who was liked the best.
• a person of superior ability who bungled (spilled coffee on himself) 1st
• a superior person who did not bungle
2nd
• a person of average ability who bungled
4th
• an average person who did not bungle.
3rd
While a high degree of competence does make us appear more attractive,
some evidence of fallibility increases our attractiveness still further. It
could be that a person who has a great deal of ability makes us feel
uncomfortable - the person may seem unapproachable, distant,
superhuman.
Attractive bias?
Attractive individuals (v. Less attractive) are assumed to:
• be happier
• be smarter
• have better career opportunities
• socially better
• have desirable personality traits
• are given more assistance
• receive more cooperation in conflict situations
• receive better job recommendations
• receive better job recommendations from experienced
personnel consultants
• receive better job recommendations from experienced
personnel consultants even when personal appearance
could have no conceivable relationship to actual
job performance.
• receive more self-disclosure from others
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
TRUE
School
• Maria was new on campus and wanted to start
meeting other students, so she started:
• sharing her homework with students who were
behind in their classes
• sitting in the middle of the class
TRUE
• talking as much as possible in class
• looking for lonely people with whom to converse
Better Self-concepts
• Subjects were shown pictures of attractive or unattractive women, whom they
then had phone conversations with (the pictures did not depict their actual
partner). The subjects who thought they were talking with an attractive partner
rated her as more poised, humorous, and socially adept than did those who
thought they were talking with a less attractive woman.
TRUE
• When independent observers were allowed to listen to a tape recording of only
the woman's half of the conversation (without looking at a photograph) they
were far more impressed by the woman whose male partner thought she was
physically attractive.
TRUE
Since the male partner thought he was talking to an attractive woman, he
spoke to her in a way that brought out her best and most sparkling qualities.
Thus, physically attractive people may come to think of themselves as good
because they are continually treated that way.
Culture
• Mutual attraction or love is the most important
desired characteristic in a potential marriage partner
or spouse across all cultures.
FALSE:
Although in “Western” countries like the US this appears
to be true it is still not the universal truth. In fact, in
many non-western countries like China, India,
Pakistan, etc., “love” is given much less importance in
comparison to other characteristics such as family,
education, chastity, etc.
Classical conditioning
• According to a classical conditioning model of
attraction, if you saw a funny film with someone,
you would:
•
•
•
•
like the film more
think that the person was funny
like the person more
True
respond to the person as you normally would
Health
• According to research, what degree of correlation
exists between attractiveness and health?
•
•
•
•
moderate negative
moderate positive
high positive
no consistent correlation
True
• Comparative psychology research suggests that in
other species attractiveness may be interpreted as an
indicator of good health and good genes.
True
Self-esteem
• The more insecure we feel, the more we like someone who
likes us.
TRUE
• A person who feels insecure may even seek out a lessattractive person in order to diminish the possibility of being
rejected.
TRUE
One study found that males with low self-esteem are attracted
more to a traditional woman, and males with high self-esteem
tend to be attracted more to a nontraditional (i.e. feminist) woman.
Male prejudice against feminists and other nontraditional women
may stem, in part, from a man's attempt to bolster his self-esteem
in the face of a perceived threat. A self-assured man has no need
to derogate an assertive, independent woman.
Scripts
• A series of experiments at the University of Wisconsin used actors
following various scripts to find out what to say to make one college
student most attractive to others. The script that worked best
involved:
1) Making it seem that other people are attracted to you.
2) Showing that you are selective and don't merely like everyone
you meet.
3) Reciprocal liking: Tell the person you like them,
• PUT THEM ALL TOGETHER: "Lot's of guys ask me out, and I
mostly turn them down. But I'll go out with you."
• When it comes to interpersonal attraction, which of
the meanings behind the following proverbs is most
supported by research?
• Opposites attract.
• Birds of a feather flock together.
True
• Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
• Out of sight, out of mind.
Similarity
• People are attracted to those that they perceive to be similar.
TRUE
• The effect is very small for superficial features like clothes or race but
very strong for perceived similarity of attitudes.
TRUE
We like people who seem to agree with us because
• a) we think they're smart,
• b) we'll probably get along, and
• c) they'll probably like us too.
• To pretend to agree with someone even when you don't really, for the
purpose of getting something they can give you, like a job, is called
ingratiation. In general this works best if you pretend to agree as much as
possible.
FALSE. In general this works best if you pretend to agree about
70%. Research shows that less is not enough, and more is both
suspicious and boring.
Similarity
o The matching principle is our tendency to become
involved with others who are closely matched to us in
terms of physical attributes and social status
• Reasons for the similarity effect
• Social comparison: verification of attitudes and
behaviors
• Predictability: We believe we can predict the behavior
of similar others better than dissimilar others
• Reciprocal rewards: Greater rewards may be derived
from affiliation with similar others
• Reciprocity of liking: We like those who like us back
Proximity
• Research by Festinger, et al. (1950) and Sigal (1974) found that
within a housing complex for married students two factors affected
friendship formation:
• The sheer distance between houses
TRUE
• The direction in which the house faced
TRUE
o One of the strongest predictors of who forms a relationship with
another person is the distance between them
• There are several reasons for the proximity effect
• Proximity increases the likelihood of meeting someone
• You are able to get more information about people who are close
to you
• You are more likely to interact with a person who is close to you,
which is rewarding for us. The mere anticipation of interaction is
rewarding
• The mere exposure effect: Repeated exposure to a neutral or
mildly positive stimulus increases liking
Men versus Women
• Researchers have found many trends regarding
preferences in romantic relationships to occur across
cultures. Which of the following are True or False:
• Men and women prefer a physically attractive partner.
TRUE
• Women demand more faithfulness from men than men
demand from women.
False
• Men are more interested in sexual variety than women.
TRUE
• Many men will accept almost any partner for a short-term
sexual relationship.
TRUE
Men versus women
• Evidence suggests that women tend to be more self-disclosing (telling
another person private information about oneself) than men.
TRUE
• Women are more talkative than men.
FALSE
• The study looked at college students in the US and Mexico. They found
no cultural differences but couples are a lot more verbose more than
singles
TRUE
• Women are more likely than men to touch other people when they are
interacting with them.
TRUE
• Imagine ads were placed for the following
potential dating partners. What would you
expect the results were:
Men versus Women
• Research finds it is women that control early interactions, from
first signaling the man to approach to deciding whether to engage
in sex.
TRUE
• The Need for Affiliation is our need to establish and maintain
relationships with others.
• Women, on average, have a higher need for affiliation than men
TRUE
• The Need for Intimacy is our need to develop and maintain
relationships with others extends beyond merely being with others.
• Women tend to have a stronger need for intimacy than men
TRUE
Men versus Women
• Men were more likely to prefer chat-up lines
involving sex.
TRUE
• Women preferred humor.
TRUE
• The types of chat-up lines whose effectiveness was
under-estimated by men were those involving offers
of help to women, handing control of the interaction
to women and (subtly) displaying wealth.
TRUE
Bars
• What is the effect of having participants listen to
pleasant background music while they rate a
stranger?
• The stranger will be liked more
TRUE
• The stranger will be liked less
• The music will have no effect
Pick up lines - Study
• Chat-up lines may be a way for men to select for a
particular type of woman. In other words, men using
sexually-loaded remarks are looking for a certain
type of woman.
• Similarly, at the other end of the scale, men who use
character-revealing or culture-based openers are
probably trying to show they are a good mate
looking for a long-term partner.
Pick up lines - Study
'lines' were collated from a variety of sources and clustered into the
following categories. Here are a few examples:
• Good mate
• these included comments that made reference to culture, character
or wealth.
• "You know I saw this fantastic piece in the Tate Modern".
• “Hi, my names William, I’m one of the owners here, would you
like to dance?”
• Compliments.
• "You remind me of a parking ticket because you've got fine
written all over you."
• “So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the girl of
my dreams!”
• Sex.
• "I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make your bedrock."
• Humor
• "Can I buy you an island?"
Pick up lines - Study
Subjects complete the Dating Partner Preference Test. An
analysis of these results suggests women see men as generally
falling into a few types:
Nice guy
• Sensitive
• Sentimental
• Sympathetic
• Helpful
• Warm
• Considerate
Leader
• Strong
• Assertive
• Ingenious
• Inventive
• Foresighted
Bad boy
• Confident
• Handsome
• Hardheaded
• Conceited
• Opportunistic
Pick up lines - Study
• There was support for the idea that chat-up lines select for
women with particular personalities.
• Women high in extraversion preferred the male 'leaders'.
• Women high in neuroticism preferred the 'nice guys'.
• Women high in psychoticism rejected 'nice guys', preferring the 'bad
mate'.
• It does seem, then, that the type of chat-up lines men choose
does have a measurable effect on the types of women who
respond to them. This can effectively allow men to make a
quick assessment of a woman's personality by their response
to a particular type of approach. Those looking for a 'bad
mate' might use a sexually-loaded remark or a compliment,
while those wanting an extrovert should use a joke.
Love
• Mild forms of attraction are relatively stable, more intense forms
are more volatile.
TRUE
• Romantic love often has a swift onset, while liking often appears to
grow gradually
TRUE
• Individuals' perceptions of their romantic partners seem to reflect
their ideals for a partner more than reality.
TRUE
• According to Hazan and Shaver, romantic love is an attachment
process, and people's intimate relationships in adulthood follow the
same form as their attachments to their preschool playmates.
FALSE
Marriage
• What are characteristics of successful marriages?
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•
•
•
•
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Partners have similar attitudes and personalities.
Both partners find the relationship sexually satisfying.
They earn an adequate income for their lifestyle.
The husband feels pride in his job.
The wife was not pregnant before the couple married.
The couple’s parents also had successful marriages.
T
T
T
T
T
T
Marriage
• A person with low self-esteem tends to choose?
• Critical
• Unexpressive
• Complimentary
True
• The "marriage squeeze" - we have a norm that
husbands are slightly older than their wives.
TRUE: The norm is about 2 years. This has
created a shortage of eligible spouses, because
of declining birth rates.
Marriage
• Trying to save a troubled marriage:
• The results of marriage counseling are not encouraging.
• Usually one partner has given up before the counseling starts.
• Marriage counselors often give well-meaning advice that
does not work.
• Couples need encouragement to treat each other with respect
during periods of stress and turmoil.
• Every marriage has troubled times, and it is important to try
to repair problems quickly when they arise.