Download GAMES ABUSERS PLAY:

Promoting resiliency in children
exposed to domestic violence
Jan Russell
Copyright: 2008 Jan Russell
Children and
domestic violence
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90% of children are aware of domestic
violence in the home
Children experience domestic violence in
several ways:
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Witness actual violence
Overhear violence
See the aftermath of violence, including injuries and
property damage
Effects of domestic violence on
children
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Boys (mostly) more aggressive and antisocial
(externalized behaviors)
Girls (mostly) more withdrawn and depressed
(internalized behaviors)
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College age women
Less ability to understand how others feel and to
empathize
Lower social competency, poorer peer relationships
Effects of domestic violence on
children
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Lower verbal and quantitative skills
Attitudes justifying their own use of violence
Limitations to the research
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Most studies:
do not distinguish between being abused and
witnessing abuse
failed to take into account
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level of violence in family
exposure to violence within that family
other stressors the child is exposed to
Limitations to the research
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Most research is done on children in shelter
settings
Is this population representative of battered
women and their children as a whole?
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more severe violence
less financial and other resources
Catching children at the most stressful
moment, may not reflect overall coping skills
Group trends v. individual responses
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Some research indicates that many children
are surviving with few or no problems
Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE)
Study
Child is victim of
 Recurrent physical
abuse
 Recurrent emotional
abuse
 Sexual abuse
 Emotional or physical
neglect
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One or no parents
Mother is treated
violently
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Household member is
 chronically
depressed,
mentally ill,
institutionalized or
suicidal
 Alcohol/drug
abuser
 Incarcerated
Extreme poverty
Health/behavioral consequences
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Alcoholism and drug
abuse
Smoking
Depression
Suicide attempts
Multiple sexual partners
Unintended
pregnancies
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COPD
Liver disease
Sexually transmitted
diseases
Ischemic heart disease
Fetal death
Protective Factors
Reoccurring themes
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Stress reduction
Self-esteem
Connections to family members, friends,
community
Empathy and ability to trust others
Positive view of the world
Innate abilities and characteristics
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Higher v. lower intelligence
Positive outlook
Hope for the future
Development of interests and talents
WOLAK & FINKELHOR 1998
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Makes child feel special
Acts as a distraction
Creates safe “space”
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Finding Flow
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Access to close relationships
with trustworthy adults
WOLAK & FINKELHOR 1998
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The more people who support a child, the better off
the child is
Look for appropriate role models of all kinds and of
both genders
Boys who witness domestic violence appear to
develop more strongly negative attitudes regarding
women than do boys who are abused directly by
their mothers (Liss & Stably 1993)
Access to close relationships
with trustworthy adults
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Robert’s story
Exposure to couples whose relationships
demonstrate equality
Abuser’s family?
Stepmother?
Ability to escape self blame
WOLAK & FINKELHOR 1998
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Child’s need to protect mother – blame
themselves when they can’t
Child feel responsible for the abuse and
everything that follows from it
Poor parent/child boundaries
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Involving children in adult issues
Ability to talk about abuse with
trustworthy adult(s)
Betsy McAlister Groves
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Children need help understanding what is
happening to them and their families
In the absence of careful adult explanations,
children create their own meanings for event
Need to know abuse is not their fault
Can mothers discuss abuse with children
when they are involved in court proceedings?
Strength of peer relationships
WOLAK & FINKELHOR 1998
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DV = isolation and secrecy
Children in domestic violence situations:
 spend
less time with friends,
 worry more about safety of friends,
 are less likely to have a best friend, and
 have lower-quality relationships than do other
children
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Graham-Bermann 1998
Strength of peer relationships
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Helps with trust issues
Increases support
Helps children feel that it is safe to have
friends
Ritualistic rule breaking
Physical and emotional safety
BANCROFT & SILVERMAN
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Safety planning
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Permission to take certain actions
Listening without judgment
Unconditional love
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Separate behavior from child
Structure, limits and predictability
BANCROFT & SILVERMAN
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Abuser’s efforts to undermine mother’s
parenting can result in timid or indecisive
parenting style
Single best predictor of behavior problems in
children exposed to domestic violence was
the mother’s level of parenting stress, not her
overall life stress (Holden, Ritchie 1991)
Strong bond to siblings
BANCROFT & SILVERMAN
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The relationships betweens siblings exposed
to domestic violence are marked by high
levels of sibling rivalry and jealousy – with
punishment, exploitation and scapegoating
passed down the sibling hierarchy from
eldest to youngest.
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Hurley and Jaffe 1990
Safe contact with battering parent
BANCROFT & SILVERMAN
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Forfeiture theory
What does contact with the abuser provide?
Make transitions easier
Okay to love abuser and to have fun with him
Don’t grill child about what happened with abuser
Avoid making the child choose between parents
Involvement with something bigger
than themselves
James Garbarino
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Spirituality
Community
Public Service
Promotes connection
Learn empathy and caring
Androgyny
Emmy Werner
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Combining traditionally feminine and
masculine traits
Model fun!
Jan Russell