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Ashley Wolfe
CMST 101W
1
I love people watching. It is my favorite thing to do when I am in a crowded area. There
are so many people around and it is very fun to watch the way the act and to see all of their
nonverbal cues. Our textbook defines nonverbal communication as a behavior other than written
or spoken language that creates meaning for someone. Nonverbal communication can include
things such as eye contact, tone of voice, posture, movement and even facial expressions.
Nonverbal communication is very important when it comes to any sort of relationship you want
to have with a person. “Nonverbal communication is a primary source of relationship
cues”(Beebe, 2014,p. 188). You need to be able to read and interpret a person’s nonverbal
communication so you can understand their unspoken messages. Nonverbal communication is
constant within human interaction, even when you are asleep you are using nonverbal
communication. It is only when you are dead that you no longer using nonverbal communication.
“ Nonverbal communication is the primary way in which we communicate feelings, attitudes and
emotions” (p.189). There are eight different dimensions when it comes to nonverbal
communication; kinesics, haptics, proxemics, paralinguistics olfactics, appearance, territoriality
and chronemics. Nonverbal communication is very important in our every day lives. With
nonverbal communication you can really see who a person is or how they are feeling, far more
than you could if the person was using just verbal communication. Our book has a lot of good
point on why nonverbal communication is important. Since nonverbal communication is the
primary way we express our feeling and emotions, it is much easier to believe a nonverbal
message than a verbal message. A person could be saying one thing to you, but you know it is
not true based on their nonverbal cues. Nonverbal communication is very important because it
works with the actual verbal message to create some sort of meaning. “Specifically, our
nonverbal cues can substitute for verbal messages, as well as repeat, contradict, or regulate what
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we say” (p.190). Nonverbal communication is also a great way to respond and adapt to others’
actions. We can see certain nonverbal messages a person is giving out, whether it is a grimacing
look on their face, or a very happy expression, we interpret those messages and interact with
them accordingly. Lastly, our book talks about how nonverbal communication plays a very big
role within interpersonal relationships. Whether you are meeting someone for the first time, or
you are comforting someone who is upset or stressed, your nonverbal messages are very
important. Especially within a romantic relationship, nonverbal messages play a huge role. Those
nonverbal cues are what help develop and mature the relationship. Nonverbal communication is
a continuous thing in our lives; some people don’t even know the specific messages they could
be giving out. When these nonverbal cues are used in a way to break social norms, which is
when things get interesting.
The first dimension of nonverbal communication I did my experiments on is proxemics.
Proxemics is the study of how close or far away from people and objects people position
themselves. According to our book, there is an anthropologist names Edward T. Hall who
noticed that there are four spatial zones that people in Western cultures occasionally define for
themselves unconsciously. The four zones include: intimate space, personal space, social space,
and public space. The first zone, intimate space is most often used for intimate and personal
interactions. This zone ranges from 0 to 1 ½ feet between individuals. The second zone is
personal space. This zone is used for conversations between family and friends. The zone ranges
from 1 ½ to 4 feet in between individuals. Next is social space, which is a zone used for group
interactions. Social space has a range of 4 to 12 feet in between individuals. The last zone is
public zone. Public zone is most often used by public speakers or anyone speaking to a large
group of people. This zone ranges anywhere beyond 12 feet from the individual speaking.
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For my experiment I chose to go to the TJ Maxx in Mankato and do some shopping. I
chose this store because it has several aisles within the store and in each aisle there are many
racks with clothing on them. In order to test some social norms based on proxemics, I had to get
awkwardly close to my victims. My first victim was a sweet old lady who looked to be in her
60s. She didn’t have a cart or anything with her that she could put in between us. I started this
experiment but walking in the same aisle as her. Once she started flipping through the shirt
selection, I began to look at the same selection. I continued to get closer and closer to her until
we were looking at the exact same shirt. We were very close to each other. I wasn’t touching her
but I was definitely within her intimate or personal space. I didn’t have a tape measure with me
to gage how for apart we were, but I would say there was 1½ feet between us. She noticed that I
was very close to her and she backed away, to let me look at the shirt. When I noticed she was
still standing behind me, waiting for me to walk away, I just stood there. I just stood in the exact
spot that she was trying to get to. I wanted to see if she would come closer to me in order to look
at the shirt. She never did, and she ended up walking away to another aisle. My next victim was a
guy around my age; I would say he was in his early 20s. He was probably a student at MSU –
Mankato or one of the other colleges around this area. This guy was shopping in the women’s
section of TJ Maxx. My guess would be for a girlfriend, sister or his mother. I could tell that this
young man was already out of his element being in the women’s section, so I thought I would try
to make it even more awkward for him. Just like my first victim, I started off looking at clothes
within the same aisle as him, and I gradually got closer and closer to him. He was one who
wouldn’t let me get within maybe 3 feet of him. As I would inch towards him, he would inch in
the same direction to get away from me. I could tell he was uncomfortable; he was fidgeting and
he would check his phone. It wasn’t long that we had this inching game before he walked away.
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My third and final victim for this experiment was a women, she was probably in her late 20’s.
She had a cart with her; it looked like she was doing some serious shopping. I approached her
just like my other two victims. I got to around two feet away from her and looked at clothes that
were close on the rack to the clothes she was looking at. I stayed in that area for a little while and
she didn’t move. She seemed perfect fine with me being in her personal space. She did have her
cart, which she used as a barrier between her and me, but once I was on the other side from her,
she couldn’t exactly move the cart in order to divide us again, so I think she just dealt with it. I
didn’t get as close with her as I did my first victim but I was pretty surprised at how comfortable
she was with having me within her personal space. It was for only a few minutes, but still
impressive.
When I first set out to do this experiment I was a little nervous. I don’t like to bother
people when they are minding their own business. I was interested to see how different people
would act in that situation though. The results I found were similar to how I thought things
would go. I felt so awkward and uncomfortable doing this experiment, I couldn’t imagine what
my victims were thinking about me. None of my victims said anything to me, which I was glad
about. If one of them were to approach me about being so close to them I would have been so
embarrassed.
For my second experiment I chose to use the dimension of kinesics, which is the study of
human movement and gestures. This dimension is a very extensive; there are many things that
can be categorized as kinesics. Several scholars and researchers studied kinesics and found a
handful different ways to categorize different kinds of kinesics, from paradigms to courtship
behaviors to the focus on behaviors that label people as warm and friendly, to cold and distant.
According to our book there were two psychologists who classified gestures and movements
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according to their function. These two psychologists were Paul Ekman and Wallace Friesen.
They categorized the gestures into five categories; emblems, illustrators, affect displays,
regulators, and adaptors. First there is emblems, which are nonverbal cues that have specific and
generally understood meanings within a culture and may substitute for a word or phrase. For
example, if you want someone to be quiet, you put your index finger up to your pursed lips. Next
category is illustrators. Illustrators are nonverbal behaviors that accompany a verbal message,
and it either contradicts, accents or complements it. Some examples could be shaking your fist at
someone, using gestures while you are describing directions to someone, or even showing
someone with your hands the size of the spider you saw in your room the night before. Affect
displays is the next category and it is defined as the nonverbal behaviors that communicate
emotions. Standing tall to show that you’re confident would be an example, or even smiling at
someone while they are talking to show that you are listening and understanding. The next
category is regulators, which are nonverbal behaviors that help to control the intersection or flow
of communication between two people. An example of this would be rolling your hand to tell
someone to speed up, or when you are eager to answer a question you will raise your hand high
to signal openly that you want to talk. The last category is adaptors. Adaptors are nonverbal
behaviors that satisfy a personal need and help a person adapt or respond to the immediate
situation. An example of this would be adjusting your glasses, scratching a mosquito bite, or
even combing your hair. “Understanding these five categories of nonverbal behavior can help
you understand interpersonal communication by giving you a new and more precise way to think
about your own behavior” (p.194).
For my second experiment I chose to do kinesics, specifically eye contact. I chose to do
this in a classroom setting, so I did this part of the experiment in one of my classes. I chose a
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victim in the beginning of the class, I chose someone who was towards the opposite side of the
classroom and in an area where they could eventually notice that I was starting at them. My first
victim was a guy in my class. Although we have had class together for about 8 weeks now, we
don’t know each other, we have never even talked. Some time during the middle of the class I
began to stare at him. It took maybe a minute or so before he noticed I was starting at him, but as
soon as we made eye contact he looked away. There are some moments when you make
awkward eye contact with someone that you just want to look away right away to make it not
awkward anymore. I continued to stare at him once he looked away. I only stared at this poor kid
for maybe 4 or 5 minutes, although it seemed like an hour. As I was staring at him, he would
periodically peak over at me to see if I was still looking at him, and as soon as he saw me he
would quickly look away again. I could tell that he was very uncomfortable with me staring at
him. Once I decided I had enough mental notes of how he reacted I focused myself back to the
front of the classroom and I never looked over to his side of the room for the duration of the
class. After the class was done I felt like a creep so I had to go up to him and explain what I was
doing and why I stared at him for five minutes. He said that he was really creeped out; that made
me feel just wonderful. My second victim was on a different day in a different class. I directed it
in the same way as the first victim except I chose to start right before the end of class so I
wouldn’t have that awkward time after I finished staring at my victim. This girl in my class I
didn’t know really just like my first victim. This victim glanced over in my direction first, then
did a double take and noticed that I was staring at her. Right away I knew she was uncomfortable
because she looked down at her desk and started to pretend that she was writing stuff down or
doodling. She would peak towards my direction a few times to see if I was still staring but she
would never check by looking at me directly. I stared at her for around 3 or 4 minutes and that
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ended up right at the end of class. Again, like my first victim, I felt so weird and creepy that I
had to confront her after class and tell her what I was doing. She thought it was a funny
experiment and thought it would be fun to try on her own. My third victim was in my class as
well and she had my favorite reaction. Just like the last experiment started around 10 minutes
before the end of class, and I stared at her for around 4 minutes. Once she noticed I was staring at
her, she immediately began to rub her face and wipe her nose, as if she was trying to get
something off. She was self conscious that there was something on her face and I was staring at
her because of it. She then whispered over to the girl next to her and asked if she had anything on
her face. Her friend replied no. This victim then looks back at me to point and whisper over to
her friend about me staring at her. I immediately break and started to laugh, I was so
embarrassed. Luckily the class ends just minutes later and I was able to confront her and tell her
what I was doing. She told me she was so paranoid that she had something on her face.
This experiment was uncomfortable to do for me, like I said earlier; I don’t like bother
anyone and I definitely don’t like creeping people out. If I did this experiment to my friends, it
would have been a lot easier; I stare at them sometimes during class to be funny and make them
laugh. But this experiment was different because I didn’t know these victims. I had no clue what
to expect with this experiment, so seeing their reactions was very interesting.
For my last experiment I chose to do territoriality. Territoriality is the study of how
animal and humans use space and objects to communicate occupancy or ownership of space.
When people announce their ownership of a space they use territorial markers, which are
tangible objects that are used to signify that someone has claimed an area or space. An example
you see a lot would be in the library. If you have to leave your table to print something off, or go
to the bathroom, you leave your backpack or your coat at the table in order to show others the it
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is taken. It also happens in the classroom when it comes to seating. Most students sit in the same
spot throughout the whole semester and it becomes “their spot”. I chose to do my last experiment
messing with that idea. I did this experiment in my classes as well.
In one of my classes, there are a group of girls who sit in the row before me. They are all
friends, and they all sit in the same seats every day. For my first victim I decided to sit in one of
their spots. Even though it wasn’t their chair, the friends were confused and they seemed to be a
little bothered that I was sitting in their friend’s spot. Once my first victim came into the
classroom and saw that I was in her spot, she immediately looked at her friends and gave them a
look as if to say “what is this b***h doing in my spot?!” She has a little bit of a panic attack,
than sits in the row behind me and her friends. She was still close enough to her friends so she
survived. For my second victim I chose to do it in a different class. This victim was an older lady
in my class, and she always sits in the same seat in the first row. This lady is always one of the
last to get to class, so by the time she was walking into our classroom; our whole class was
sitting down. As she walks into the room, she notices me sitting in her spot. I can see her stop in
her tracks for a quick second, almost as if she thought she was in the wrong classroom. She
approaches me and asks me if she could sit there. She tells me that she doesn’t have the best eyes
and sitting up in the front is easier for her to see the smart board. Of course I got up for her and
walked to the back of the classroom where I usually sit. This all happened in front of our whole
class. It was so embarrassing. I wasn’t able to explain what I was doing so I felt like I looked like
such a jerk. Since that was such an embarrassing and awkward experiment, I chose to switch
things up for my last victim. For this last experiment I chose to sit in my normal spot in the
classroom, but I took the desk in front of mine, pull it back towards me, and use it as a footrest.
This chair is usually the seat of my last victim. This girl is usually in the classroom before I get
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there, so I had to get to class extra early that day. As my last victim walks into the classroom, she
doesn’t notice that I have my feet on her desk until she is right next to it. I had my friend next to
me watch her reaction while I played on my phone. I really didn’t want be approached again. So
my friend noticed that she seemed bothered. She looked at me, and then my feet, and then at the
chair next to her normal spot. She lets out a huge breath as if she’s really annoyed that I took her
spot, and then she sits in the chair next to my feet. It was as close as she could get to her normal
spot without sitting on my feet.
I chose to do territoriality because I remember last semester some girl sat in my spot (in a
huge lecture hall, mind you) and I was furious. I was so bothered by her sitting in my spot. I
remember complaining to my mom, and my friends, and they thought it was so funny on how I
described how upset and bothered I was. I’m hoping she was doing this experiment for her class
assignment or otherwise she is just a mean person! I thought this would be a great experiment to
do to see if people reacted the same way I did.
Overall I think this was a very interesting experiment. Although in some cases it was very
uncomfortable for me, I’m sure my victims were even more uncomfortable. In some cases I
could really see it in their faces, like when I was staring at my victims in my experiments on
kinesics. All I was doing was staring at their faces for a few minutes so that’s all I could see the
whole time was their faces and how uncomfortable they were. It is crazy to think about how
some things are social norms. No one writes a rulebook about what is socially acceptable and
what isn’t. Everyone just knows, and when those are broken, people really don’t know what to
do with themselves. During my experiences, I got mostly nonverbal reactions. Whether it was
inching away from me as I inch towards them, or wiping their faces to make sure there is nothing
there as I stare at them. I feel nonverbal reactions are more common that verbal when it comes to
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social norms being broken. I only had one victim approach me and react to my experiment with
verbal communication and that was because she had to explain why she wanted to or needed that
specific desk. Before doing this project I never really though about social norms, they are just
things everyone knows about but never talk about. It like it is second nature to everyone. Once
those social norms are broken, things can get really awkward. And no one likes awkward
situations.