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We’re in This Together What Every Family Should Know About Child Sexual Abuse and Trauma Information Provided By: TABLE OF CONTENTS WHAT IS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE? ...............................................................................................................2 ABUSIVE PHYSICAL CONTACT AND TOUCHING INCLUDES: ...........................................................................2 NON-CONTACT SEXUAL ABUSE INCLUDES: ..............................................................................................2 WHO ARE THE PERPETRATORS? ................................................................................................................2 WHO ARE THE VICTIMS? .........................................................................................................................3 WHAT IS TRAUMA? ................................................................................................................................3 KEY SYMPTOMS OF PTSD: ..............................................................................................................3 HOW DOES TRAUMA IMPACT CHILDREN?.....................................................................................................4 COMMON BELIEFS AND FEELINGS OF CHILDREN WHO EXPERIENCE THE TRAUMA OF SEXUAL ABUSE ................5 HOW DOES TRAUMA IMPACT PARENTS? ......................................................................................................6 HOW PARENTS CAN OFFER SUPPORT TO THEIR CHILD: ...........................................................................6 HOW DOES TRAUMA IMPACT FAMILIES?......................................................................................................6 YOUR FAMILY IS IMPORTANT TO US.............................................................................................................8 RECCOMENDED READING .........................................................................................................................9 1 WHAT IS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE? Child sexual abuse is defined as both contact and non-contact activities of a sexual nature that takes place between an adult and a child or between two children where one child has power over the other. Stop It Now!, a non-profit organization dedicated to the prevention of child sexual abuse, provides this list of harmful contact and non-contact behaviors: ABUSIVE PHYSICAL CONTACT AND TOUCHING INCLUDES: Touching a child’s genitals for sexual purposes Making a child touch someone else’s genital or play sexual games Putting objects or body parts inside the vagina, in the mouth or in the anus of a child for sexual purposes NON-CONTACT SEXUAL ABUSE INCLUDES: Showing pornography to a child Deliberately exposing an adult’s genitals to a child Photographing or videotaping a child in sexual poses Encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts Inappropriately watching a child undress or use the bathroom WHO ARE THE PERPETRATORS? When asked what a child molester looks like, most people describe a quiet male who appears out of place. It’s also a common belief that child molesters are “creepy, shady men” who are loners or strangers to the family. This image could not be further from reality. In 90% of child sexual abuse cases, the child knows and trusts the person who perpetrated the abuse. Most perpetrators are authority figures (coaches, teachers, clergy, parents, etc…) whom are innately trusted by the victim as well as the family. As a society, we raise our children to obey adult authority figures. Imagine, then, how difficult it can be for a child to say “no” to one of these people of authority. 2 WHO ARE THE VICTIMS? It is a nationwide estimation that as many as 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys are victims of some form of sexual abuse prior to age 18. It is very likely that you know a child who has been or is currently being sexually abused. Due to fear, confusion or embarrassment only 12% of victims will tell someone. Children who hide abuse, or children who disclose abuse and are subsequently denied belief, are at a much greater risk for psychological, emotional, and physical problems. Victims of sexual abuse are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, 6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol, 26 times more likely to abuse drugs and 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide. WHAT IS TRAUMA? A traumatic experience can be described in many different ways. According to The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, a traumatic experience is a frightening, often dangerous, and/or violent event or condition. There are many different kinds of potentially traumatic experiences; these experiences would most certainly include sexual violence and rape. After a traumatic event occurs, an individual often reports feelings of apprehension and fear. These feelings can be temporary (lasting only a short amount of time) or enduring (lasting several months or many years). There can also be a variety of mental, emotional, and behavioral issues that can arise after trauma. It is not uncommon for a person who experiences trauma to develop an anxiety disorder. Children and adolescents who develop anxiety disorders typically experience intense worry, fear, or uneasiness. Without treatment, these symptoms can be enduring and can significantly impact the victim’s life. It is also possible for people who experience trauma to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Young people with post-traumatic stress disorder report re-visiting the traumatic experience through vivid memories, flashbacks, or other kinds of upsetting thoughts. As a result, the victim may attempt to avoid places, people or objects associated with the trauma. They may also overreact when startled or have difficulty sleeping. KEY SYMPTOMS OF PTSD: 3 Persistent re-experiencing of the traumatic event: intrusive, distressing recollections of the event; flashbacks; nightmares; exaggerated emotional and physical reactions to reminders of the event; trauma-specific re-enactment or repetitive play, in which themes or aspects of the trauma are expressed. Avoidance of activities, places, thoughts, feelings, or conversation related to the trauma. A child may be unable to recall an important aspect of the trauma; may show markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities; may avoid feelings or intentionally detach from others; may show a restricted range of affect (emotional numbing) and be unable to have loving feelings; or may have a sense of foreshortened future. Increased arousal: difficulty sleeping, irritability or outbursts of anger, difficulty concentrating, hyper-vigilance, and/or exaggerated startle response. HOW DOES TRAUMA IMPACT CHILDREN? Traumatic events cause extreme stress that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope. Trauma can have serious consequences for the normal development of children’s brains, brain chemistry, and nervous system. Trauma-induced alterations in biological stress systems can adversely affect brain development, cognitive and academic skills, and language acquisition. Traumatized children and adolescents display changes in the levels of stress hormones similar to those seen in combat veterans. These changes may affect the way traumatized children and adolescents respond to future stress in their lives, and may also influence their long-term health. Children who have experienced ongoing trauma may experience impairments in many areas of development and functioning that include the following: 4 Attachment: Traumatized children feel that the world is uncertain and unpredictable. They can become socially isolated and can have difficulty relating to and empathizing with others. Biology: Traumatized children may experience problems with movement and sensation, including hypersensitivity to physical contact and insensitivity to pain. They may exhibit unexplained physical symptoms and increased medical problems. Mood regulation: Children exposed to trauma can have difficulty regulating their emotions as well as difficulty knowing and describing their feelings and internal states. Dissociation: Some traumatized children experience a feeling of detachment or depersonalization, as if they are “observing” something happening to them that is unreal. Behavioral control: Traumatized children can show poor impulse control, selfdestructive behavior, and aggression towards others. Cognition: Traumatized children can have problems focusing on and completing tasks, or planning for and anticipating future events. Some exhibit learning difficulties and problems with language development. Self-concept: Traumatized children frequently suffer from disturbed body image, low self-esteem, shame, and guilt. COMMON BELIEFS AND FEELINGS OF CHILDREN WHO EXPERIENCE THE TRAUMA OF SEXUAL ABUSE Victims of abuse may have an array of thoughts and feelings that influence their behaviors in response to experiencing sexual abuse. Such beliefs and feelings may include: Guilt - It was my fault; I should not have gone back again; I should have stopped it from happening; It wouldn’t have happened if only I…; What happened to me makes me bad. A Sense of Personal Violation - I am no longer safe; I have no protection from danger; No one can be trusted; Love hurts. A Loss of Control – I can’t make decisions; I have no control over myself, my body or my life; If I am tough, weak, sick, perfect, or in control, I won’t get hurt anymore. Lowered Self-Esteem – I am worthless; I am not worthy of being loved; I am not lovable; What I did to survive is disgusting, therefore I am disgusting; I don’t deserve to have good things happen to me because of what happened to me. Anger – I hate myself; I hate everyone around me. Fear – I am afraid to be alone; I am afraid to love anyone again; I am afraid to be loved. Shame – I am bad and that is why s/he chose me; I let her/him touch me to get nice things; I know the bad will happen soon, so let’s just get it over with. 5 HOW DOES TRAUMA IMPACT PARENTS? The parent-child relationship Anger, disbelief, denial, guilt, shame and shock are all common feelings for parents who learn that their children have been victimized. These emotions, though normal, can cause further harm to the abused child if expressed in front of the child. When a parent responds with anger or disbelief, the child is likely to shut down, change his or her story or feel a great sense of guilt over his/her disclosure. Children who are victims of sexual abuse are vulnerable. A parent’s reaction to the disclosure of their abuse is critical. HOW PARENTS CAN OFFER SUPPORT TO THEIR CHILD: Believe your child and make sure s/he knows it. Thank the child for telling you and praise the child’s courage. Encourage the child to talk, but do not ask leading questions about the details. (Asking for details can alter the child’s memory of events.) If you must ask questions, keep the questions open ended: “What happened next?” Seek the help of professionals trained to interview the child about sexual abuse. Assure the child that it’s your responsibility to protect him or her and that you’ll do all you can. Report the abuse to the proper agency or take action. Don’t panic. Sexually abused children who receive support and psychological help can and do heal. Source: Darkness to Light; 7 Steps to Protecting our Children Remember that emotional responses vary to each individual situation. You may show one reaction or any combination reaction. The most important thing you can do for yourself and your child is to find support so that you can express your emotions in a healthy, adaptive manner. It is important that you take care of your emotional well-being so you can also take care of your child. HOW DOES TRAUMA IMPACT FAMILIES? When discussing the term “family” it is important to understand that there are many different types of families. According to The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, The term “family” refers to two or more persons who are related in anyway-genetically, legally, culturally, or emotionally. Families define themselves. Therefore, a family can be described as a system of individuals who offer support and care for one another. 6 There are many different ways in which trauma can impact the family. For example, when a child encounters a traumatic experience (i.e. sexual abuse) the experience not only affects the child, but it also heavily impacts other members of the family. This includes parents, siblings, grandparents, etc. This can be largely due to the families need to adapt to their new and unfamiliar circumstances. Many established family dynamics can change and evolve throughout this process. Sibling Relationships: Sibling relationships are very important. They can be experienced as a strong support, a friend, a companion, and a person of comfort to the victim. However, if the relationship becomes unbalanced the sibling relationship can turn into a relationship that revolves around rivalry and conflict. In order for the relationship to move past any negative experiences, it’s important for the siblings to participate in actively listening to each other’s needs and practicing effective communication. Extended Family and Kinship: In today’s hectic and busy world, we sometimes lose sight of those we do not see every day. Months fly by like days, and eventually we realize that we have gone an extended period of time without making contact with extended family. There is no need to fret over this issue, it happens to us all and is a common occurrence. However, it’s important to remember that these people are still very important in our lives. In cases of trauma, it’s important to seek out any family member or friend that you can trust. These people can help you process the traumatic event, but it also gives them an opportunity to be there for you and support you during your time of need. Traumatic events can leave families feeling drained emotionally, financially and physically. When this occurs, families can have a difficult time carrying on with day to day schedules. The support that extended family and kinships offer help to sustain unique and vital family traditions that consolidate the family. This unity aids in personal healing and strength. The Family as a whole: Once a family member discloses abuse, initial familial distress is likely. There are no set limits for this initial distress. Every situation and every person is different. It is important for the family as a whole to pull together and support each other during this stressful time. This can include providing safety, love, food, shelter, heath and education for one another. Traumatic experiences often drain families of important resources that can add additional stress and unfamiliar burdens (e.g. court proceedings, moving into a new residence, transitioning into a new school, etc.). When faced with these challenges, it is more important than ever to unite the family and sustain vital traditions that bind the family together. 7 After a traumatic experience it is common for a family to experience high levels of stress. These high levels of stress can generate large gaps in communication. Once communication fails, many additional problems will quickly compile on top of one another. A lack of communication rapidly leads to a tumultuous home in which emotions are difficult to manage. Lack of effective communication can also produce a deficit in intimacy, which increases the chance of separation or even interpersonal violence. It is important to practice effective communication with all members of the family in order to reduce these problems. YOUR FAMILY IS IMPORTANT TO US The Purchase Area Sexual Assault and Child Advocacy Center is a 501(c)3, non-profit organization that has been providing direct services to victims of crimes since 1989. The mission of the Purchase Area Sexual Assault and Child Advocacy Center is to improve the health and well-being of our community by reducing the impact and prevalence of sexual violence. We engage in all phases of support for victims of sexual crimes including advocacy to better support victims and families through the criminal justice system and beyond. PASAC advocates provide support to victims and families throughout the duration of the criminal justice process. The investigation and court process can be overwhelming. We offer support to families at the beginning of the investigation during forensic interviews and/or medical exams. We also offer advocacy throughout the criminal justice process; providing court education and accompaniment services. Because we understand each family is unique and has a variety of needs, PASAC advocates work to help your family meet your individual needs. We do this by utilizing community resources and helping to connect victims and families to organizations that can aim to aid the family in their time of need. If at any time, you experience an emerging need, we will work to help provide relief and hopefully decelerate any impending stress. This can include housing, employment, education, and (most importantly) safety. Here at PASAC we also offer help to utilize the Kentucky Crime Victims Compensation (CVC) program. CVC is a government program that helps to reimburse victims of violent crimes (such as sexual assault) as well as their families for many of their out-of-pocket expenses. This can include medical or mental health counseling expenses as well as lost wages which directly result from the crime. Please let us know if there are any such expenses your family has incurred or if you anticipate any such expenses and we will gladly assist you with filing a CVC claim form. Finally, we also offer a non offending caregiver support group. It is common for caregivers to focus on the direct needs of their children and sometimes neglect themselves. We know your role as a caregiver is vital to the health and healing of your child so we want 8 to help you understand the nature of trauma and its effects on the child and the family. By offering support and education while focusing on your personal self care plan, this group is intended to offer a safe and supportive environment to guardians as they work towards healing from what is often one of the most difficult situations that a parent will ever have to endure. We understand that sexual abuse is a traumatic and life altering experience. If at any time you feel a need for further support, we will be happy to help you in any way we can. You may contact our victim and family advocate Amberly Walker by calling 270-534-4422 during normal business hours (9:00am-5:00pm) or you may also speak to any of our staff members. hope. heal. grow. ©2011 Purchase Area Sexual Assault & Child Advocacy Center Services provided in whole or in part by state and federal funds. RECOMMENDED READING 9 Darkness to Light – 7 Steps to Protecting Our Children; A Guide for Responsible Adults. Available at www.d2l.org. Stop It Now! – Prevent Child Sexual Abuse: Facts About Sexual Abuse and How to Prevent It. Available at www.stopitnow.org. Stop It Now! – Let’s Talk: Speaking Up to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse. Available at www.stopitnow.org. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network – Coping with the Shock of Intrafamilial Sexual Abuse. Available at www.nctsnet.org. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network – Questions and Answers about Child Sexual Abuse. Available at www.nctsnet.org. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network – What To Do If Your Child Discloses Sexual Abuse. Available at www.nctsnet.org. The Pennsylvania Child Welfare Training Program – Behaviors Related to Sex and Sexuality in Children. Available at http://www.pacwcbt.pitt.edu/curriculum/CTC/MOD5/Hndts/HO17_BhvrsRltdTo SxAndSxltyChldrn.pdf 10