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English 9
Mrs. Helenius
Academic
Writing Guide
Cedar Springs HS
2015-2016 School Year
Table of Contents
Essay Structure
Standard Essay Structure .............................................................................................................. 2
Thesis Statements ......................................................................................................................... 3
Openings: Persuasive................................................................................................................... 4
Openings: Rhetorical Analysis ............................................................................................ 5
Openings: Showing.............................................................................................................. 6
Body Paragraphs / Topic Sentences .............................................................................................. 7
Body Paragraphs: Rhetorical Analysis ................................................................................. 8
Body Paragraphs: Argumentative ....................................................................................... 9-10
Other Sample Body Paragraphs ........................................................................................... 11
Six Argumentative Strategies ....................................................................................................... 12-13
Rebuttal / Responding to the Other Side ....................................................................................... 14
Conclusions (summary) ....................................................................................................... 15
Conclusions (non-summary) ................................................................................................ 16
Conclusions: Rhetorical Analysis ........................................................................................ 17
Using Textual Support When Analyzing or Responding to Literature
Guidelines for Literary Analysis................................................................................................... 18
Blending Quotations ............................................................................................................ 19
Leading into, Blending, and Explaining Quotations ..................................................................... 20
Introducing and Explaining Quotations: Sentence Templates ...................................................... 21
Multi-Source Essays or Research Papers: MLA Format
Citing Sources .............................................................................................................................. 22
Using Direct Quotations ............................................................................................................... 23-24
Text Formatting ............................................................................................................................ 25
Parenthetical Citations .................................................................................................................. 26
Works Cited Entries - MLA Format ............................................................................................. 27-29
Style
Using Showing Detail................................................................................................................... 30
Using Precise, Specific Language ................................................................................................ 31
Using Transitions ......................................................................................................................... 32
Templates for Argumentation ....................................................................................................... 33-35
Using Similes and Metaphors ....................................................................................................... 36
Avoiding Wordiness / Redundancy .............................................................................................. 37
Using Active Voice ...................................................................................................................... 38
Avoiding Sexist Language............................................................................................................ 39
Punctuation Guide
Elements of a Complete Sentence ................................................................................................ 40
Clauses and Phrases...................................................................................................................... 41
Relative Clauses ........................................................................................................................... 42
Avoiding Sentence Fragments ...................................................................................................... 43
Compound Sentences ................................................................................................................... 44
Avoiding Run-ons ........................................................................................................................ 45
Commas ....................................................................................................................................... 46
Semicolons/Colons ....................................................................................................................... 47
Apostrophes.................................................................................................................................. 48
Dashes .......................................................................................................................................... 49
Common Errors in Essay Writing
Parallelism ........................................................................................................................... 50
Subject - Verb Agreement ................................................................................................... 51
Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement .......................................................................................... 52
Awkward Constructions ...................................................................................................... 53
Illogical Constructions ......................................................................................................... 54
Common Word Errors .................................................................................................................. 55-56
Common Usage Errors ................................................................................................................. 57
Words to Describe Tone, Mood, and Language
Tone Words ......................................................................................................................... 58
Mood Words ........................................................................................................................ 59
Words to Describe Language ............................................................................................... 60
Syntax-Based Rhetorical Devices.......................................................................................................... 61-64
Sources for the Academic Writing Handbook ...................................................................................... 64
1
Standard Essay Structure
The graphic organizer below represents the structure of a standard academic essay. Most of the
essays that we write will be either five or six paragraphs in length. A five-paragraph essay
consists of an opening paragraph, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. A six-paragraph
essay includes a rebuttal paragraph which makes sure to directly address an argument made by
the other side.
1. Attention-getter / Big idea
The rebuttal
paragraph may be
placed elsewhere in
the body if it
logically fits. Some
people choose to
write a five
paragraph essay
which addresses the
other side in each
paragraph.
2. Connect to topic
3. Thesis
4. Three to four body
paragraphs
- Topic Sentence
(with a transition)
- Topic Sentence
(with a transition)
- Topic Sentence
(with a transition)
- Supporting
examples,
arguments, details
- Supporting
examples,
arguments, details
- Supporting
examples,
arguments, details
- Concluding
sentence that sums
up the paragraph
- Concluding
sentence that sums
up the paragraph
- Concluding
sentence that sums
up the paragraph
Summary
Conclusion
5. Refer back to thesis in a
new way
6. Summarize key points
7. Clinching statement
2
Rebuttal
Paragraph: often
used in persuasion
- Topic Sentence
identifies the other
side's point of view
- Either explain
why the other side is
wrong OR concede
a point to the other
side
- End with a
concluding sentence
or
Non-Summary
Conclusion
5. Continue the discussion
of the issue at hand / blend
thesis into your discussion
6. Clinching
statement
Thesis Statements
The thesis statement is a one or two sentence statement of the essay's central idea. A good thesis
should be clear, focused, and limited to fit the assignment.
GUIDELINES
SAMPLES
Good Thesis Statement
1. A good thesis states the
writer's clearly defined
opinion or analysis of some
subject.
Although cloning may have scientific benefits, it should be banned
because it is immoral, dangerous, and destructive.
Bad Thesis Statement
2. Do not use personal
expressions such as: I think,
I believe, in this paper, etc.
3. A good thesis asserts one
main idea.
I think cloning should be banned, but in some cases it might be all right.
Good Thesis Statement
Shakespeare's examination of youthful impulsivity is as relevant now as it
ever has been. *
*(A thesis without listing the three points is appropriate for 10th, 11th &
12th grade students in advanced literature courses.)
4. A good thesis is limited to
fit the assignment.
5. A good thesis is located at
the end of the first
paragraph in a short essay.
Bad Thesis Statement
Shakespeare's examination of youth is kind of relevant to today most of
the time, and he also shows how deceptions have unintended
consequences.
Good Thesis Statement
Parents should limit the amount of television a child watches in order to
improve the child’s mental, physical, and emotional health.
Bad Thesis Statement
Parents should limit the amount of television that their children watch and
should teach them to be polite.
Good Thesis Statement
Schools should offer more extra-curricular activities to meet the interests
of students, to improve academic performance, and to promote healthy
attitudes.
Bad Thesis Statement
I believe that schools should do more things for all kids.
3
Opening Paragraphs - Argumentative
An opening paragraph should pull the reader into the paper using some sort of attention-getting device. It
should then smoothly transition into the topic of the essay. Finally, it should conclude with a clear and
logical thesis statement. Below are a few different types of openings you might use.
CHALLENGE AN ASSUMPTION + THESIS
Many American citizens assume that the
BIG THEME + THESIS
When many of us think of creativity, we think of
development of new technologies and the increasing
artists: painters, musicians, or story-tellers. We don’t
speed of societal change are leading to a more
necessarily think of architects, engineers, or scientists.
“creative” world. Unfortunately, a 2010 report by
However, all of those professions often require
authors Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman suggests
creative thinking and problem solving. Unfortunately,
that the public’s “creativity quotient” has been on the
a 2010 report by authors Po Bronson and Ashley
decline since 1990. This report has led some school
Merryman suggests that the public’s “creativity
board members to consider adding a class in creativity
quotient” has been on the decline since 1990. This
to the school’s curriculum. Unfortunately, creativity is
report has led some school board members to consider
not a finite skill that can be taught within a one-hour
adding a class in creativity to the school’s curriculum.
time period each day. Creativity is the product of
But can our schools really “make” students more
active minds drawing exciting new connections
creative? Truly, the creative spark grows to a fire in
between different types of knowledge. Instead of
moments of inspiration. Creativity cannot be easily
offering a class in creativity, our school should
identified or taught; hence, it makes no sense for
simply offer students a wide-ranging curriculum
our school to offer a class that attempts to “teach”
that builds the creative capacity of every student.
creativity.
* Qualified thesis
* Thesis disagrees
REFER BACK TO A DETAIL FROM THE
PROMPT + THESIS
According to Professor Kyung Hee Kim at the
DEFINE BOTH SIDES OF ISSUE + THESIS
A 2010 report by authors Po Bronson and Ashley
Merryman suggests that the public’s “creativity
quotient” has been on the decline since 1990. This
report has led some to consider adding a class in
creativity to the school’s curriculum. Those who want
to add a class to the curriculum see creativity as a
series of skills that can be taught; they believe that
teachers can model thought processes that will help
generate innovation. Unfortunately, creativity is not a
finite skill that can be taught within a one-hour time
period each day. Creativity is the product of active
minds drawing exciting new connections between
different types of knowledge. Instead of offering a
class in creativity, schools should simply offer
students a wide-ranging curriculum that builds the
creative capacity of every student.
College of William and Mary, the decline in scores on
the Torrance Test, a widely-used test of creativity, have
been declining in a “serious way” for American
students in kindergarten through sixth grade. Research
such as this has led many to conclude that America is
facing a creativity crisis. Our children lack the skills to
think creatively, which involves coming up with novel
or innovative solutions to problems. What can our
community do to help our children think creatively?
The most logical answer leads us to the schoolhouse
door. In order to address a decline in creativity, our
school district should offer a class in creativity.
* Thesis agrees
4
Opening Paragraphs – Rhetorical Analysis

An opening for a rhetorical analysis essay, the type you are asked to write on the SAT and in AP Language
and Composition, should be SHORT and SWEET. It needs to grab the reader, address all parts of the
prompt, and clearly mention all of the elements that will be discussed in the essay.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION + THESIS
BIG THEME + THESIS
Perhaps no two early Americans are more famous for their
Being a parent is a constant balancing act. Parents want
personal communications than John and Abigail Adams. The
to show their children unconditional love, but they also want
now archived letters exchanged by this husband and wife
to raise children who will make them proud, children who
combination are filled with passionate intellectual exchanges
will uphold their cherished values and principles. Abigail
and tender words of love. The same is true of the letter
Adams demonstrates her formidable skills as a parent in her
Abigail Adams sent to her son John Quincy Adams back in
letter to her son John Quincy Adams, advising her son to
1780 regarding his travels abroad with his father. In this
travel with his father to France. In this letter, Abigail
letter, Abigail Adams uses reasonable arguments, effective
Adams uses reasonable arguments, effective
comparisons, and a passionate yet respectful tone to
comparisons, and a passionate yet respectful tone to
convince John Quincy that his travels abroad will benefit
convince John Quincy that his travels abroad will be
him.
good for him.
REFER BACK TO A DETAIL FROM THE PASSAGE +
THESIS
DIRECT APPROACH + THESIS
Back in 1780, Abigail Adams wrote a letter to her son
“[D]o honor to your country, and render your parents
John Quincy, advising him to accompany his father and
supremely happy, particularly your ever affectionate mother.”
brother on a trip to France. Over the course of this letter, she
These emotional words from former first-lady Abigail Adams
demonstrates her skills as both a parent and a persuader.
highlight the link between love and high expectations that
Adams uses reasonable arguments, effective
exists in so many parental-child relationships. In her letter to
comparisons, and a passionate yet respectful tone to
her son John Quincy, Abigail Adams demonstrates her skills
emphasize the benefits that John Quincy can gather from
as both a parent and a persuader. Adams uses reasonable
his travels.
arguments, effective comparisons, and a passionate yet
respectful tone to convince John Quincy that his travels
abroad will benefit him.
YOUR OPENING MUST identify the author and title, include the elements that you will refer to in the
essay, and address ALL elements of the prompt.
5
Opening Paragraphs – Showing Introductions
DISCUSS A LARGER THEME
Our modern world is full of tales of violence and atrocity. On a daily basis, countless individuals attempt to
flee countries stunted by war, poverty, and civil unrest to embrace life without fear. In 2001, 3,600 Sudanese boys
sought asylum in the United States, leaving behind gruesome memories of their families’ massacres, of animal
attacks, and of pursuing soldiers in order to adopt lives filled with study, sports, US pop culture, and fluent
English. In the same way, the characters in Chris Cleave’s novel Little Bee must come to terms with the
violence they have experienced, acknowledge the current atrocities surrounding them, and aspire to build a
better future for themselves and others.
USE A BRIEF, SHOWING STORY THAT CONNECTS TO YOUR THEME
Cuddled amongst five laughing cousins, Becky sits on the couch, waiting for one more picture to be taken.
Soon her family will open the mound of Christmas presents nestled under the tree. Smiling faces circle the large
living room and extend into the pictures on the mantel, capturing the progression of time, the growth of a family.
This is Grandma's house: a secure place of love and generosity, a place to meet and remember, an island oasis in
the undulating sea of family life. Like a grandmother's home, the garden in Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle
in Time serves as a symbol of Meg's security, connection, and growth.
PARAPHRASE A SCENE FROM THE WORK OF LITERATURE
Another Friday night and all of Odessa has assumed their seats in the stadium stands. Boobie Miles, the
ultimate athlete, is geared up and glowing in his suit of invincible glory, as college recruiters and his fans await
him. Boobie and the Odessa Panthers are up against Palo Duro, yet Boobie is starved for more. His hunger fuels
him to work the field as he pushes through and goes for fifteen yards. He reaches the fifteen yard line but strives
for more. He sees an opening and plants his left leg to stiff arm an oncoming tackler. His leg gets caught in the
pristine artificial turf, and as another tackler slams into his knee, the entire stadium goes silent. Boobie attempts
to bounce back only to find that he can barely put any pressure on his knee at all. Boobie's overzealous desire to
win big at the expense of his physical well-being, even in a scrimmage game, is the kind of misplaced priority
H.G. Bissinger often depicts in Friday Night Lights: A Town, A Team, and A Dream.
6
Body Paragraphs / Topic Sentences
A standard essay should include at least three body paragraphs that support the ideas expressed
in the thesis statement. Each body paragraph should express one argument, and this argument
should be clearly stated in a topic sentence at the beginning of the paragraph. The body of the
essay is where all of the "meat" is. In other words, this is where writers should use vivid
examples, relevant analogies, and logical arguments to back up their arguments.
A body paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence which is "thematically and
grammatically parallel to the thesis statement" (TPA Style Guide 9-10). Some teachers may
require that topic sentences be strictly grammatically parallel such that the subject and verb of
the thesis are repeated as the subject and verb of each topic sentence. While this is encouraged
early in the writing process, it should be discouraged in the 10th, 11th, and 12th grades.
Sample Topic Sentences
SAMPLE THESIS (Persuasive Essay):
immoral, and destructive.
Cloning should be banned because it is dangerous,
GOOD TOPIC SENTENCE: First of all, cloning human beings is a dangerous proposition.
BAD TOPIC SENTENCE: First of all, nobody should be cloning because it could cause major
problems.
SAMPLE THESIS (Literary Analysis): The river for Huckleberry, in Mark Twain's
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, serves as a symbol of refuge, a world that provides an escape
from the cruelties of everyday life, a place where hope and love prosper.
GOOD TOPIC SENTENCE: Symbolically, the river acts as a safe haven for Huckleberry.
BAD TOPIC SENTENCE: The river is a refuge for Huckleberry, and it provides an escape
from everyday life.
SAMPLE THESIS (Literary Analysis): Chaucer reveals three main areas of corruption in the
Medieval church: a focus on worldly pleasures, a violation of basic Christian theology, and an
exploitation of parishioners. These criticisms alert the reader to the human faults of the clergy;
like their parishioners, they, too, are people who sin and make mistakes.
GOOD TOPIC SENTENCE: Chaucer emphasizes the corruption of the Medieval church by
revealing the clergy's focus on worldly pleasures.
BAD TOPIC SENTENCE: The church that Chaucer presents is really corrupt. A lot of the
clergy just want pleasure, like when some of the monks seek out sex from poor widows.
7
Sample Body Paragraphs – Rhetorical Analysis
When writing a body paragraph in a rhetorical analysis paper, follow this structure:
1. Topic sentence identifies author’s last name, method being used, how the method is used
2. Lead into and blend multiple quotes (short words, phrases, or fragments)
3. Always be analyzing!! Don’t explain what the author is saying; explain how and why the author is saying it.
SAMPLE BODY # 1 (a few of the power verbs are in bold, 147 words long)
Throughout the first two paragraphs, Adams uses reasonable arguments that appeal to John Quincy’s respect for his mother’s
judgment. She asks her son to trust her because he is not yet “capable of judging what [is] most for [his] own benefit.” This classic
argument drives at the heart of the parent-child relationship: the child must accept his limitations and put his trust in the judgment
of the parent. Abigail Adams points out that because her son has “readily submitted to [her] advice” on prior occasions, he must
now act on it with dignity and honor. Here, the mother calls out to the son’s intellect and his sense of duty by calmly reminding him
that following his mother’s voice has worked well for him so far. Adams defines John Quincy as an obedient and honorable son,
leaving him with little choice but to seek out “daily improve[ment]” while he travels abroad.
USING TRANSITIONS & WORD GLUE TO CREATE COHERENCE
Topic sentences should begin with some sort of transitional word or phrase that moves the reader from the previous
paragraph to the current one. As the reader moves through the paragraph, word glue (transitional words and phrases,
synonyms, pronouns, or repeated words) should help connect sentences.
SAMPLE BODY # 2 (word glue / transitions in bold, 161 words)
Having appealed to her son on a personal level, Adams employs some effective comparisons to suggest John Quincy’s
potential for greatness. Adams compares John Quincy to a “judicious traveler” who is like a “river.” John Quincy is like
“certain springs, which, running through rich veins of minerals, improve their qualities as they pass along.” Adams’s use of
this metaphor suggests all of the gains that will come from his travels to France. Adams then uses a historical comparison,
reminding her son of “Cicero,” and suggesting that he would not have been as great an “orator if he had not been roused, kindled,
and inflamed by the tyranny of Catiline, Verres, and Mark Anthony.” By referencing the brilliance of Cicero, she leaves open
the possibility of her son’s own genius while also referencing the revolutionary spirit of the day. If John Quincy shows
“diligence,” perhaps he can become great like Cicero. Perhaps he can become even as great as his revered father.
* Notice that the words in bold all make reference to the previous sentence in some way. This use of word glue builds coherence.
USE APT, SPECIFIC DICTION TO SHOW YOUR COMMAND OF LANGUAGE
SAMPLE BODY # 3 (specific word choice in bold, 188 words)
As Adams nears the conclusion of the letter, her tone becomes increasingly passionate while continuing to be supportive.
Her language incorporates religious emotionalism, referring to the “scourges of the Almighty… [war], tyranny, and
desolation.” Having identified these evils, Adams argues that God is on the side of the American revolutionaries. In her
opinion, God is a “powerful ally,” who supports their “glorious defense of their invaded liberties.” By referencing the
Almighty, she seeks to work her son into an excited state, making him more willing to follow her advice and to learn from his
father. Adams then skillfully transitions from religion to family. She reminds John Quincy that he has a father who has
“discharged the trust reposed in him with so much satisfaction as to be honored with the important embassy which at present
calls him abroad.” This forthright reference to the father’s glory appeals to the son’s reverence for his father. It also
establishes John Quincy as an important heir of liberty who “will transmit this inheritance to ages yet unborn.” Adams’s
earnest words build her son up while appealing to his love for God and family.
8
Sample Body Paragraphs – Persuasion / Argument
BODY # 1 - Defining Creativity + Refutation of other side
Because I am going to refute the other side, I will begin by presenting the other’s sides definition of creativity. I
will then transition into my definition of creativity, a requirement of the prompt.
Any time you write an argumentative / persuasive essay, you MUST address the other side of the issue. In this
example, I make sure to concede some part of the argument to the other side, but I also make sure to clearly explain
what is wrong with the other side’s argument. I chose to support the qualified thesis which holds that schools
should offer a wide-ranging curriculum rather than teach creativity within the confines of one class (see the first
sample opening).
SAMPLE BODY # 1 (my definition of creativity + refutation / rebuttal are in bold, 151 words)
Supporters of offering a class in creativity believe that creativity is a skill that can be taught. They claim that
teachers can help students think “outside the box” in order to solve problems in new ways. Admittedly, it is
essential that teachers inspire students to think deeply; however, inspiration occurs when students are
deeply engaged with content. In Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers, he discusses the 10,000 hour rule, which
says that a person needs to practice something for roughly 10,000 hours before genius starts to emerge. The
implications of this rule are fascinating and suggest that true creativity comes from having deeply engaged and
worked in a particular field for years. Creativity is not a simple skill that schools can teach. It emerges from
years of practice or study. Therefore, schools are far better off letting students experiment in a wide variety of
classes so that each can find his/her passion.
* Notice how I conceded the point that teachers need to inspire students to think. This allows me to transition into my refutation. I also made
sure to define creativity within my refutation. I also used a reference to a book I have read, which is a great way to incorporate an
interesting, real-world example.
BODY # 2 – Supporting Argument + Powerful Word Choice
Now that I’ve addressed the other side, I am ready to build my own arguments. In each body paragraph, I want to
focus on one particular supporting point. My topic sentence should clearly define the argument and should echo the
thesis. I should develop my arguments using relevant details, examples, anecdotes, or appeals.
In order to show my command of language, I will use a variety of powerful verbs.
SAMPLE BODY # 2 (power vocabulary words are in bold, 103 words)
If students are allowed to discover their interests through a wide-range of study, they will be much more apt to
evolve into more sophisticated, free-thinking adults. Children who study math, science, literature, history, music,
drama, and language will likely find something that stimulates their interest. Once they find something they love,
they will be ready to fly. Students can then deploy all of their mental talents in an effort to delve into an area or
study, to master an instrument, or to explore new ideas. Why waste time with a class that purports to teach
creativity, when the key to creativity is passion?
* Notice that none of the words I have put in bold are incredibly challenging or obscure. They are simply powerful and varied. You don’t have
to “show off;” just show that you have a command of the language. Also notice that this body paragraph is fairly short. I can get away with this
because I am following a six-paragraph format.
9
BODY # 3 - USING TRANSITIONS & WORD GLUE TO CREATE COHERENCE
Topic sentences should begin with some sort of transitional word or phrase that moves the reader from the
previous paragraph to the current one. As the reader moves through the paragraph, word glue
(transitional words and phrases, synonyms, pronouns, or repeated words) should help connect sentences.
SAMPLE BODY # 3 (word glue / transitions in bold, 140 words)
Not only will a broad-based education help students pinpoint their interests, it will also help students build background
knowledge, which is essential to developing creativity. We have likely all heard the old maxim, “The more you know, the
more you know.” This saying is actually supported by research on brain development. The more background knowledge a
person gathers, the easier it is to acquire and understand more concepts. For instance, suppose Johnny knows a great deal
about history: he will find it easier to understand a piece of literature that includes references to World War II. The more
Johnny learns, the more connections his mind will be able to draw. More connections equal more creativity. Our schools
should reflect on this simple truth when developing their curriculum.
* Notice how the repetition of phrases like “the more” helps connect sentences together. Synonyms are also used to refer to information in the previous
sentence. Repetition and the use of synonyms are both effective “word glue” strategies to build coherence.
BODY # 4 – USING REAL-WORLD EXAMPLES
One of the best ways to develop your ideas is to incorporate as many real-world examples as possible.
Think of relevant examples or analogies from history, pop-culture, or from personal experience. As you
write, make sure to explain how the examples support your point.
SAMPLE BODY # 4 (real-life comparisons and examples in bold, 122 words )
Along with building background knowledge and providing choice, offering a wider curriculum will help
students study greatness, which will lead to creative inspiration. When a teenager obsessed with drama gets an
opportunity to see Shakespeare performed, he experiences genius. When an idealistic young woman
interested in politics reads “Civil Disobedience” or “Letters from a Birmingham Jail,” she better understands
the sacrifices needed to effect real change. These young people are just like young stand-up comedians who
watch tapes of George Carlin or Richard Pryor, or young scientists who study the works of Einstein or
Hawking. Creativity springs from years of study and from understanding the great minds that helped build our
world, not from taking a single class meant to “teach” creativity.
* By referencing real-world situations or examples, a writer establishes ethos (personal credibility) while also developing his/her ideas.
These references may also appeal to pathos (emotional appeal) if the reader has a strong connection with one of the examples presented.
10
Other Sample Body Paragraphs
SAMPLE BODY PARAGRAPH (Persuasive)
All students should engage in some extracurricular activity because from extracurricular
work they learn a great many valuable things that they won’t learn in a classroom. School is not just a
matter of learning the difference between lie and lay, or what caused the War Between the States; it is
learning to live and work with others. Students learn to work and play with others harmoniously, to give and
take, and to win and lose. When, as members of a club, a young people are given a job to do, they learn to
assume responsibility and to work unselfishly for the good of the group. In a radio club or a photography
club, students get additional knowledge which may be more valuable in the long run than the knowledge
they receive from doing homework or attending classes. Furthermore, if students work hard in dramatics or
in musical organizations, they will develop talents which will be satisfying throughout life, talents which
might never have been discovered had those teens thought of school as confined to the hours of the daily
schedule. Clearly, young people learn many vital things in the classroom; however, they can't learn it all.
That's where extra-curricular activities come in.
SAMPLE BODY PARAGRAPH (Literary Analysis)
Throughout the story, Eugenia Collier uses the actions and words of young Lizabeth to
highlight the painful confusion and mystery of adolescence. Lizabeth's bewilderment is first revealed
when the young children decide to pester Miss Lottie. Lizabeth is reluctant to "gather pebbles from the
dusty ground," but Joey's taunting convinces her to put aside her newfound maturity and to descend into
childishness (Collier 111). Collier is showing the reader how the young often respond to confusion by
acting out. Lizabeth doesn't know what to do, so she acts immaturely. In addition, Collier reveals
adolescence to be mysterious. After the taunting incident, Lizabeth becomes moody and is caught between
two worlds. The childish side of her personality "sulks," but the adult side "flinch[es] at the thought of the
malicious attack that [she] had led" (Collier 113). Obviously, this time of transition leaves Lizabeth
mystified and guilty. Collier conveys the message that youth is a time of unknowns - for Lizabeth, her guilt
springs from her ignorance. Finally, the pain of adolescence drives Lizabeth to destroy Miss Lottie's
marigolds. After hearing a frightening conversation between her parents, Lizabeth rushes out in the middle
of the night and tears up the flowers. When confronted by Miss Lottie, Lizabeth "gaze[s] up at that
immobile face with the sad, weary eyes, [and sees] a kind of reality that is hidden to childhood" (Collier
116). For Lizabeth, the pain and mystery of adolescence has been replaced with a newfound sense of
compassion. This compassion is the reward that comes at the end of a painful rite of passage, one that is
both puzzling and difficult.
SAMPLE BODY PARAGRAPH (Persuasive)
Along with deterring crime, the death penalty also prevents repeat offenses by criminals. It may
seem simple, but the fact remains that a dead criminal cannot be a repeat offender. The chances of a
murderer getting another chance to rejoin society via parole or escape are completely eliminated. For
example, let's look at the case of 12 year-old Polly Klaas. As long as Mark Allen Davis, the man who
tortured, raped and murdered Polly, is alive, the Klaas family has to worry about the possibility that he
could someday be paroled or that he could, unlikely as it may seem, escape. With the death penalty, this
fear is eliminated. Not only are the family's fears assuaged, but the death penalty sends a clear message to
the public that murderers will not be allowed back on the city streets. Only the death penalty can give us
this solid guarantee: murderers will never have a second chance to kill.
11
Argumentative Strategies
The most important part of any essay is the development of ideas. It's not enough to simply state
an opinion repetitively; the writer must be able to support his arguments with intelligent, logical
examples and details.
Below are six specific argumentative strategies that a writer can use to develop ideas and to
support a thesis. These strategies can be used in any type of essay.
Argument based on Generalization
Generalization is a very common form of reasoning. It assumes that what is true of a sample
of people is likely to hold for a larger group or population, or that certain things consistent
with the sample can be inferred of the group/population.
Sample Argument by Generalization:
Virtually every teenager recognizes the importance of extra-curricular activities. For instance,
sophomore Joe Smith has developed a strong work ethic thanks to his training for cross country.
Argument based on Analogy
Argument by analogy involves looking at similarities between one situation or event and
applying the lessons learned to a similar situation or event. When using an analogy, it's
important to make sure the comparison being made is relevant and accurate.
Sample Argument by Analogy:
When students participate in athletics, they are judged based on performance, not on appearance. No
coach is going to make young Johnny the starting pitcher simply because he has nicer cleats and a
more orderly exterior than his fellow players. Unfortunately, this is not true in academics. In many
cases, teachers tend to be subconsciously biased in favor of students who wear nicer clothes.
However, if a school adopts a uniform policy, students, like athletes, will be judged based on their
behaviors and work ethic, not on their looks.
Argument via Sign/Clue
Argument via sign or clue holds that certain types of evidence are symptomatic of some wider
principle or outcome. For example, smoke is often considered a sign for fire. Some people
think high SAT scores are a sign a person is smart and will do well in college.
Sample Argument via Sign/Clue:
The number of shootings taking place on school campuses demonstrates the dangers of our vicious
media culture. Young people numbed by gory video games are less likely to feel empathy for other
12
human beings and are more likely to act out sadistic fantasies generated by watching hundreds, maybe
even thousands, of hours of violent television.
Causal Argument
Causal argument occurs when the writer argues that a given occurrence or event is the result
of, or is effected by, a specific factor. Causal reasoning is the most complex of the different
forms of argument. It can be difficult to pull off because it is very easy to confuse causation
with correlation.
Correct Use of Causal Argument:
If police departments are allowed to use video cameras in public parks, criminals will know they are
being watched. As a result, pedophiles or potential kidnappers will be far less likely to try anything.
Incorrect Use of Causal Argument
The high school has a 16% drop out rate. The middle school, on the other hand, has a 0% drop out
rate. Clearly, the middle school teachers are doing a much better job than the high school teachers.
Argument from Authority
An argument from authority uses a quote or other information from an "authoritative" source.
This means that the person or group in question is well-respected and should have some
special insight into the matter.
Sample Argument from Authority:
Federal Judge Joseph Smith understands the dangers of mandatory minimums: "I can tell you
that there have been countless times when I have known that the punishment for a given crime
was much too severe. However, because of mandatory sentencing guidelines, I was forced to
send people to jail for much longer than necessary."
Argument from Principle
The writer locates a principle that is widely regarded as valid and shows that a situation exists
in which this principle applies. It is important to pick a principle that is widely accepted and
respected.
Sample Argument from Principle:
When crafting laws, legislators need to remember the principles of simplicity and clarity.
People need to be able to clearly understand the law if they are to be expected to follow it.
Confusion breeds disorder, and complex laws usually create confusion.
* Argumentative strategies adapted from the Toulmin Model of Argumentation, San Diego State University
13
Rebuttal Paragraph
In order to write an effective essay, the writer should always address the arguments of the
other side in his/her paper. A rebuttal paragraph may be included as a “fourth body paragraph,”
or it may be placed elsewhere in the body if it logically fits. The methods listed below help
explain how a writer can effectively address the arguments of the other side:
METHODS USED TO ADDRESS THE OTHER SIDE
1. Identify an argument made by the other side and shoot the argument down. In other words,
either specifically explain why the argument is weak or illogical or explain why the opponent's
argument is irrelevant or unimportant.
2. Strategic Concession: If you concede that the opposition has a point about something, this
can help you strengthen your argument. You may acknowledge that your opponent is right about
one particular point. However, if you concede a point to the opposition, you must make sure that
you explain why the opposition is STILL WRONG on the overall thrust of the argument.
SHOOT THE OTHER SIDE'S ARGUMENT(S) DOWN
Some of those who oppose the War in Iraq claim that the United States has only created more terrorists
by invading a country in the heart of the Middle East. However, intercepted communications from al Qaeda
members suggest that a different explanation is far more likely. The U.S. has not created "new" terrorists
but instead drawn those who were already involved in terrorist activity into Iraq where they now confront the
mightiest military force on the planet. In addition, al Qaeda's reputation has certainly not been enhanced by
the War in Iraq. Other Arabs now have the chance to witness al-Qaeda members slaughtering Muslim
women and children; this reality has actually reduced support for al-Qaeda in many parts of the Middle East.
The idea that the Iraq War has created more terrorism is both misleading and factually inaccurate.
(adapted from "Looking Back at Iraq..." by Victor Davis Hanson)
CONCEDE A POINT TO THE OTHER SIDE
Opponents of the Iraq War have repeatedly emphasized that no weapons of mass destruction have been
found; they have a point. U.S. forces have not been able to locate any functional chemical, biological, or
nuclear weapons. However, this does not mean that Saddam Hussein's regime did not pose any threat to the
United States. Weapons inspections and Iraqi government documents have revealed, in fact, that Hussein
clearly intended to restart his weapons program as soon as he could get inspectors out and sanctions lifted.
We also have evidence that Hussein's Iraqi government had given asylum to known terrorists; in fact, it's
quite possible that a working relationship with al-Qaeda could have developed had Hussein been left in
power. Clearly, Hussein's Iraq was an enemy of the United States, an enemy who had to be confronted.
14
Conclusions
We will be studying two different types of conclusions: the summary conclusion and the nonsummary conclusion.
A summary conclusion is simple. Basically, a summary conclusion reviews the key points
made in the paper and brings the paper to a logical conclusion. The writer rewords the thesis
statement, reviews key points, and ends with a clincher.
CONTINUE DISCUSSION AND END WITH A CALL TO
ACTION
Because creativity cannot be taught within the
REFER BACK TO YOUR OPENING / HOOK
Instead of expecting new technology or a single
class in creativity to somehow magically inspire our
confines of a single-class, our school board should set this
issue aside. Instead of trying to put creativity in a “box,”
we should simply focus on providing all kids with a wide
and varied curriculum. We already know what we have to
do; the time to act is now.
students, our schools need to focus on the fundamentals
of education. We can prevent a creativity crisis if we
simply provide students with a wide and varied
curriculum. Exposing kids to new ideas and letting
them think and share their thoughts will lead to much
The start of the conclusion picks up where the last body paragraph left
more creativity than a single class ever could.

off.
REWORD THE THESIS + CLINCHER (relates to the
future)
Clearly, our school board should focus on providing
students with a wide and varied curriculum instead of
DISCUSS BIG THEME + REWORD THESIS
Yes, it would certainly be nice if creativity was a
simple skill that could be taught during a one-hour
class period. Unfortunately, creativity is a magical,
trying to design a class in creativity. A wide and varied
curriculum will help students discover their passions, build
background knowledge, and study greatness. If we focus
on providing students with choices, we will be able to look
forward to a bright and creative future.

In the first sample opening, the hook refers to technology.
I refer back to this at the start of my conclusion.
This is the go-to conclusion if you’re stuck and need to write
quickly. Very little thinking is required. Reword your thesis,
list off your key points, and end with a look to the future.
mysterious thing, which usually emerges after years of
deep thought or practice. The best way to build
creativity is to expose our children to a. wide and
varied curriculum; only then will they discover their
passions and the creative spark.
The paragraph starts out by simply discussing the concept of
creativity. It then rewords the thesis which leads to the clinching
sentence.
A clincher is a sentence that brings an essay to a close. There are many different ways to create
a strong clincher.
TYPES OF CLINCHERS
1.
2.
3.
4.
Emphasize the importance of the topic.
Relate the topic to the future.
End on a universal note (relates to everybody).
End with a strong statement that emphasizes the point of your paper.
15
Non-Summary Conclusions
A non-summary conclusion is more sophisticated. Instead of simply summarizing arguments,
the writer continues the discussion, makes a connection to a larger theme, and blends the thesis
into a discussion of this larger theme. For a clincher, the writer might refer back to the attentiongrabber for the introduction, or the writer might even make a reference to a major detail from the
body of the essay.
SAMPLE NON-SUMMARY CONCLUSIONS
Sample Non-summary Conclusion: Persuasive
The controversy surrounding the death penalty may be infuriating to some, but it is also very
encouraging. The fact that citizens of America are able to argue about the moral, legal, and ethical
implications of capital punishment demonstrates the civilized nature of American democracy. Truly,
there is nothing uncivilized about citizens in a democracy making the conscious choice to protect
themselves from depraved, immoral, evil killers. Using the death penalty is not barbaric. Failing to
fully protect the innocent citizens of America from psychopaths is.
Sample Non-summary Conclusion: Literary Analysis
Bissinger uses stories of the people of Odessa to demonstrate how misplaced priorities affect the
present and hinder the future. The people of Odessa in Friday Night Lights: A Town, A Team, and A
Dream are so blinded by their need to have a winning season that they are unable to see past football
and victory. The adult citizens of the town are handcuffing the children to the present football
obsession and holding the future of these children hostage. The athletes devote much of their time to
football and not enough time to anything else. Football is perceived as the only ticket out for the
Odessa players, and when their plans fail, they are left with broken dreams and lost paths. The desire to
attain a goal can create an obsession that colors the present and darkens the future.
Sample Non-summary Conclusion: Literary Analysis
In Meg’s ever-changing world, the garden remains a constant place in time, alternating with the
seasons just as Meg must do. She leaves from it and returns to it, but in order to be a true garden, it
must be seeded, bear fruit, and return to earth. The garden must change. While traveling through
tasseracts and fighting the power of the all-controlling IT, Meg must give up her fear and her selfreliance in order to save her family. Just like struggling students must at some point realize that their
future success depends on discipline and determination, Meg must change in order to grow and succeed
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Rhetorical Analysis – Conclusions

Don’t feel like you need to spend much time drafting a conclusion. It is more important
to have a detailed, well-developed body than a brilliant closing. Your conclusion should
simply consist of one to three sentences that offer your final observations.
DISCUSS THE FINAL LINES OF THE
PASSAGE
REFER BACK TO YOUR OPENING / HOOK
Through her use of rhetoric, Adams succeeds in
Adams ends her letter with an appeal to John
balancing* love with authority. She advises her
Quincy’s honor. By acquiring “manly virtues”
son by appealing to his emotions and to his duty
such as “justice” and “fortitude,” he can earn the
as a son, and shows herself to be both a skillful
esteem of both “country,” “parents,” and, most
parent and persuader.
importantly, an “affectionate mother.”
Bombarded with rhetoric like that, what else can a
* The writer is referring back to the opening
which discussed parenting as a balancing act.
son do but enjoy his journey and make his mother
happy?
REWORD THE THESIS
DISCUSS OVERALL PURPOSE + REWORD
THESIS
Adams’s use of reasonable arguments,
Throughout her letter, Adams advises her son
effective comparisons, and a passionate yet
to use his time abroad to improve himself and to
respectful tone ultimately help her skillfully
prepare himself for greatness. Her use of
explain how this trip to France will benefit him.
reasonable arguments, effective comparisons, and
Her success demonstrates her skill as both a
a passionate yet respectful tone serve this purpose
parent and an artful persuader.
well, preparing her son for a distinguished and
honorable future.
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Guidelines for Literary Analysis
Responding to or analyzing a work of literature is at the heart of academic writing. When
discussing a work or works of literature, the writer generally wants to use a formal, professional
tone. This type of writing also involves using a great deal of textual evidence (quotes,
paraphrases) to support a thesis.
1. Your analysis should always be written in present tense. ("Knowles uses biblical allusions..." not
"Knowles used biblical allusions...")
2. When you first refer to the author, refer to him/her by his/her full name. After that first reference,
always refer to the author by last name only.
3. Use a third person point of view (he, she, it, they). Avoid first or second person (I, me, my, you,
your, we*, our*).
*Sometimes, it is acceptable to use the universal “we” or “our” – (based on instructor preference).
4. Do not refer to the "quote” or the “reader.” In other words, avoid saying, "In this quote,
Steinbeck shows that..." or “Steinbeck shows the reader that…”
5. Explain things in a persuasive manner. Do not give vague statements about the text.
(Incorrect) Imagery is important.
(Correct) Thomas uses vivid sea imagery to recreate the smells, tastes, and sounds of an ocean beach
on a hot summer day.
6. Always cite the page number (or line number in a poem) of every quote in parentheses. Notice
that the period is moved to the end of the parentheses.
(Correct) Using alliteration, Thomas provides us with a humorous image of Mr. Prothero "smacking
at the smoke with a slipper" (2).
7. Always use the author's exact words when including a quote. BE ACCURATE!!!!
8. Generally, students should use the active voice (i.e., “Elizabeth reads Darcy’s letter…”) rather than
the passive voice (“Darcy’s letter is read by Elizabeth”) in their writing. The passive voice is preferable
in some cases, but students should be cautious to avoid overusing it. The best strategy to avoid
unnecessary use of passive voice is for students to consciously use action verbs and not forms of the
verb “to be” whenever possible.*
9. Always LEAD INTO, BLEND, AND EXPLAIN quotations from the text.
* Example 8 is adapted from the Tempe Preparatory Academy Style Guide.
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Blending Quotations
The learner should know how to effectively blend quotations from a source into a paper.
METHODS FOR BLENDING QUOTATIONS
1. Use a comma to introduce a quotation after explanatory words (he says, she says, she explains, etc.).
*When a quotation is introduced with a phrase such as “He says,” “She asks,” and the like, the first
letter of the quotation must be capitalized.
Jerry reveals that he is becoming more adventurous when he says, "I'd like to go and have at a look at
those rocks down there" (Lessing 93).
Mary Bennet claims, “A person may be proud without being vain” (Austen 47).
2. Use a colon to introduce a longer quote (one complete sentence or more) that follows a complete
stop.
Jerry now longs to challenge himself at the rocky beach and sees the sandy beach as being a place of
immaturity: "It was a torment to him to waste a day of his careful self-training, but he stayed with her
on that other beach, which now seemed a place for small children, a place where his mother might lie
safe in the sun" (Lessing 98).
3. Simply embed quoted material into your sentence.
*When embedding quoted material, either a complete sentence or fragment, into a longer sentence, if
the first letter is capitalized in the original material, it is entered as a bracketed lower-case letter in the
citation:
Mary Bennet shares her opinion that “[a] person may be proud without being vain” (Austen 47).
Jerry now views the sandy beach as a "place for small children" (Lessing 98). He says that it is "not his
beach" (Lessing 98).
4. Use an ellipsis to omit unnecessary words or to demonstrate that the quote is only part of a
compound sentence.
Jerry now longs to challenge himself at the rocky beach and sees the sandy beach as being a place of
immaturity: "It was a torment to him … but he stayed with her on that other beach … a place for small
children … where his mother might lie safe in the sun" (Lessing 98).
5. Use brackets when you alter part of a quote to fit smoothly into your paper.
Jerry feels a need to push himself, "but he [stays] with her on that other beach, which now [seems] a
place for small children" (Lessing 98).
* Examples are adapted from the Tempe Preparatory Academy Style Guide.
19
Leading into, Blending, and Explaining
Quotations
Whenever you're using textual support in a paper, it is important to always lead into, blend, and
explain each quotation. Take a look at the sample paragraph below. Notice how the writer
always follows these three steps:
1. Lead into the quotation. In other words, make sure to set the scene or prepare for the coming
quotation.
2. Blend the quotation smoothly using one of the approved methods. Generally, it is suggested that you
try to embed a piece or fragment of a quote with your own words.
3. Explain the significance of the quotation. (What does this quotation reveal? How does it add to the
author's message or theme? How might it connect to the modern world? What impact does it have upon
the reader? What mood or tone is created?)
SAMPLE PARAGRAPH - Analyzing the Use of Metaphors
In Langston Hughes’ poem “Dreams,” two key metaphors are used to create a message
about the importance and power of human aspirations. The first stanza introduces this theme,
focusing on the need to hold on to dreams. Hughes compares a life without dreams to a “brokenwinged bird / That cannot fly” (3-4). This vivid metaphor suggests the damage that a lack of
hope can do to a person. A man or woman without a goal or dream is stuck on the ground just
like that injured bird. Hughes communicates the pain experienced by impoverished, hopeless
human beings who feel trapped in their own bodies, unable to soar. In the second stanza, Hughes
explores this theme again. Instead of dreams dying, they “go,” leaving behind a life without
meaning. Hughes says that without dreams, “Life is a barren field / Frozen with snow” (7-8).
The image of the cold, lifeless field suggests a world without meaning or beauty. Hopeless
people are not only trapped like “broken-winged bird[s],” but they are also left behind in a
sterile, heartless world. To survive in this world, people need ambitions and hope for the future,
or they will be stuck with to a life without meaning.
20
Introducing and Explaining Quotations:
Sentence Templates
RESEARCH / SYNTHESIS
Explaining a Quotation
Introducing a Quotation










X states, "__________________" ( ).
As the prominent _________ X puts it,
"_____________" ( ).
According to X, "_______________" ( ).
X himself states, "_______________" ( ).
In her book, ____________________, X
maintains that "_______________" ( ).
Writing in the magazine
___________________, X complains that
"________________" ( ).
In X's view, "___________________" ( ).
X agrees when she says, "_______________"
( ).
X disagrees when he claims,
"___________________" ( ).
X complicates matters further when he
asserts, “_____________" ( ).







Basically, X is saying
_____________________.
In other words, X believes
___________________.
In making this comment, X urges us to
_________________.
X is corroborating the age-old adage that
_______________.
X's point is that ___________________.
The essence of X's argument is that
__________________.
Here, X asserts / claim / declares / maintains /
emphasizes / highlights /
LITERARY / RHETORICAL ANALYSIS
When analyzing a work, you should try
to embed short fragments, phrases, or
words into your own sentences. Avoid
using longer quotes unless absolutely
necessary.
Throughout the first two paragraphs, Adams
uses reasonable arguments that appeal to
John Quincy’s respect for his mother’s
judgment. She asks her son to trust her
because he is not yet “capable of judging
what [is] most for [his] own benefit.” This
classic argument drives at the heart of the
parent-child relationship: the child must
accept his limitations and put his trust in the
judgment of the parent. Abigail Adams
points out that because her son has “readily
submitted to [her] advice” on prior
occasions, he must now act on it with
dignity and honor. Here, the mother calls
out to the son’s intellect and his sense of
duty by calmly reminding him that
following his mother’s voice has worked
well for him so far. Adams defines John
Quincy as an obedient and honorable son,
leaving him with little choice but to seek out
“daily improve[ment]” while he travels
abroad.
WHY is the author using this method or technique? WHAT is he/she trying to
accomplish?








This ____________ suggests (hints at, implies) that…
By presenting ____________ in this manner, X reveals…
Here, X communicates a message of…
Here, X suggests (asserts, reveals, etc.)
X’s use of _______________ at this point emphasizes how…
Having characterized ___________ as being ______________, X now
_______.
Using this metaphor, X _______....
In X’s view, ____________.
What technique, method, or element is the author using? (literal level)
X uses
utilizes
X employs
X draws on
X makes use of
X applies
X
HOW is the author using this method, technique, or element?
to emphasize, highlight, accentuate
to repudiate, rebut,
to evoke, bring to mind, stir up feelings of
to elicit, bring forth
to appeal to…
to create, generate
to establish credibility
to characterize, portray, humanize, depict
to suggest, hint at, imply
to contrast, juxtapose
embody
* Adapted from They Say, I Say by Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenste
21
to define, delineate
to alter, change
to build, construct
to reveal, show, illustrate, convey
to assert, declare, affirm
to inspire, motivate, encourage
to elucidate, clarify, illuminate
to compare, to reveal similarities
to explore, investigate
to symbolize, represent, signify,
Citing Sources
Many students are confused when it comes to citing others’ work in their papers. Anytime an
idea is not your own, you should reference it as a source.
Whether set off from your writing or blended into it, quoted material is usually preceded by a
colon if the quotation is formally introduced and by a comma or no punctuation if the quotation
is an integral part of the sentence structure.
Sample Quotes
Shelley held a bold view: “Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the World” (794).
Shelley thought poets “the unacknowledged legislators of the World” (794).
“Poets,” according to Shelley, “are the unacknowledged legislators of the World” (794).
Parenthetical citations are also used for a paraphrase or a summary. A paraphrase is generally
the rewording of a sentence or two from a source into your own writing, and a summary usually
condenses material. For example, you may summarize a paragraph or two from a source into
one sentence of your own. With paraphrases and summaries, there will not be a direct quotation
or quotation marks, but the idea still needs to be credited.
Example Summary
Roland Fryer Jr., a Harvard economist conducted a randomized study in four cities to find out.
He used mostly privately-donated money to pay 18,000 students a total of $23 million dollars
and brought in a team of researchers to analyze the results (Ripley).
Another misconception is that direct quotations can only be dialogue or something
someone said. This is not true. A direct quotation can be any group of words that you have
directly lifted from another piece. These direct quotations always require quotation marks.
Example Dialogue—Direct Quotation
Roland Fryer Jr., a Harvard economist, challenges, "One thing we cannot do is, we cannot
restrict ourselves to a set of solutions that make adults comfortable" (Ripley).
Example Informational—Source without Dialogue—Direct Quotation
Roland Fryer Jr., a Harvard economist, is convinced that the answer for education is a
“combination of reforms” more than any one change in “isolation” (Ripley).
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Direct Quotations
Effective direct quotations are used selectively and are to be as brief as possible. It is preferred
that quotations are blended with your sentences/writing.
Example Original Text
Kids may respond better to rewards for specific actions because there is less risk of failure.
They can control their attendance; they cannot necessarily control their test scores. The key,
then, may be to teach kids to control more overall--to encourage them to act as if they can
indeed control everything, and reward that effort above and beyond the actual outcome
(Ripley).
Example from Research Paper with Direct Quotations
Interestingly, the emphasis needs to be on “specific actions” that students can control such as
reading, attendance, and turning in homework, where there is “less risk of failure” (Ripley).
Ellipsis (Three or four periods typed with a space before and after)
Whenever you omit a word, phrase, a sentence, or more from a quoted passage, you need to
make sure you are being fair to the author you are quoting, and you want to match the
grammatical format of your writing. Note also, that if you only quote two or three words, you do
not need to use ellipsis, as it is obvious that you omitted part of the original.
Example Original Text
Chyna is an eighth-grader at the Takoma Education Campus in Washington . . . . When I ask
her how she did it, she says, "I tried my hardest." She adds, "I tried to wear my uniform,
because I knew I wanted some money because my birthday is next week." She has saved her
past four paychecks for this reason. The money, she says, gives her just enough incentive to
hold her tongue.
"For the most part, I'm still Chyna," she says. "But once in a while I just snatch it back, 'cause
I know that paycheck is coming" (Ripley).
Two or Three Word Quotation—No Ellipsis Required
Chyna, an eighth-grader at Takoma Education Campus in Washington, D.C., responded that
she wore her uniform because she wanted to earn money for her birthday, and when she was
tempted to saying something inappropriate, she would “snatch it back” in order not to
jeopardized her paycheck (Ripley).
23
Part of a Sentence Removed—Middle of Quotation
Chyna, an eighth-grader at Takoma Education Campus in Washington, D.C., responded, “I
tried my hardest . . . because I knew I wanted some money because my birthday is next
week” (Ripley).
Part of a Sentence Removed—End of Quotation
Chyna, an eighth-grader at Takoma Education Campus in Washington, D.C., responded, “I
tried my hardest . . . because I knew I wanted some money . . .” (Ripley).
One or More Sentences Removed from Original—Note Four Ellipses
Chyna, an eighth-grader at Takoma Education Campus in Washington, D.C., responded, “I
tried my hardest . . . ‘cause I know that paycheck is coming” (Ripley).
Alterations of Direct Quotations
Anytime you change a direct quotation from its original form, you must use square brackets to
indicate the change. Sometimes this is done because a statement is unclear, and sometimes it is
done to grammatically fit your writing.
Example with Unclear Statement
When asked how she earned the money, she responded, “I tried my hardest . . . [b]ut once in a
while I just snatch it [her language] back, ‘cause I know that [my] paycheck is coming”
(Ripley).
Example with Changes to Match Writing
Fryer explains, “The typical reform helps girls more that it helps boys. [This] is the opposite .
. . [A]ll the results are being driven by the boys. That’s fascinating” (Ripley).
24
Text Formatting: MLA
Use a readable font, such as Times New Roman or Arial, size 12. Set your margins at 1” on the
top, bottom, and left and right sides. Set your spacing at double spacing throughout the paper.
In the header at the right margin, type your last name and the page number. Make sure the page
number changes with each page. The heading is as follows: your first and last name, your
teacher’s name, the class name, and the date. The date is formatted as day, month, year—no
abbreviations or commas. The title is double-spaced from the heading and is centered—no
underlining, bolding, etc. Each paragraph thereafter should begin with a ½” tab or indentation.
Works Cited Page
This is the last page of your paper and includes only sources you have cited in your paper;
therefore, it is entitled Works Cited, without any quotation marks, underlining, or bolding. It is
centered at the top of the page.
You acknowledge these sources by keying brief parenthetical citations in your text, so the first
word of your source on your Works Cited page should be the word in your parenthesis in your
text. The entries on this page are also double-spaced and placed in alphabetical order by the first
word, and the first line of each entry starts at the margin, and subsequent lines are indented ½” or
a tab.
25
Parenthetical Citations
A parenthetical citation is a method used to give credit to a source within a paper.
Parenthetical citations are placed after ANY information that is taken from an outside source
(quotation, summary, or paraphrase). Failure to include parenthetical citations equals plagiarism.
An attribution tag is a phrase used to credit the speaker of a quote or the source of a piece of
information. It will often come at the beginning of a sentence.
EXAMPLE: According to Educational Researcher Thomas Smith, ...
If you are citing a print source, put the author's last name and the page number in parentheses. If
you are citing a web-only source, put only the author's last name. If the source has no author,
use the first word or two of the article title.
ONE AUTHOR / Print source
In fact, “Research shows that after the school began to use uniforms, disciplinary referrals
dropped by 56%” (Smith 3).
ONE AUTHOR / AUTHOR’S NAME ALREADY MENTIONED / Print Source
According to Educational Researcher Thomas Smith, “Research shows that after the school
began to use uniforms, disciplinary referrals dropped by 56%” (3).
NO AUTHOR / PARAPHRASE / Web-Only Source - Use the first word of the article title.
Put it in quotes.
The King County School Board unanimously approved extension of the school uniform policy
in 1996 (“Uniforms”).
MORE THAN ONE AUTHOR / PARAPHRASE / Web-Only Source
The overall movement toward school uniforms seems to have slowed since its heyday in the
1990’s (Barrett and Sanchez).
SPEAKER of QUOTE and AUTHOR are NOT THE SAME
According to University of Minnesota Professor Joe Pickering, "Uniforms appear to have a
noticeable effect on student behavior" (Smith 4).
INFORMATION SOURCE for PARAPHRASE and AUTHOR are DIFFERENT
Researchers at the University of Minnesota found that over 78% of students who attended the
Beecher school actually preferred wearing uniforms (Smith 3).
26
Works Cited Entries
Print Publications (such as magazines and newspapers) must include the following and in this
order: author’s name (last name first), title of article (in quotation marks), name of periodical
(italicized), date of publication (day, month, and year if available), inclusive page numbers,
medium of publication (Print), and any other supplementary information.
General Example for Magazines / Newspapers
Last name, First name. “Article Title.” Title of Publication Day Month Year: Pgs. Print.
Example Magazine Article
Smith, MaryLou. “Paying Students.” Business Week 6 May 2011:93-94. Print.
Example Newspaper Article (with two authors)
Wood, Robert, and Mary Wilson. “Cash for Grades: Paying Students.” Wall Street Journal
4 Dec 2011:C1+. Print.
Example Anonymous Article (no author)
“Students Working for Prizes.” Economist 22 Mar. 2012:89, 95. Print.
Example Book
MacLugh, Tyler. Incentives for Students. New York: Levine-Scholastic, 2010. 103-119. Print.
Example Work in an Anthology
Burns, Robert. "A Red, Red Rose." England in Literature. Ed. John Pfordresher, Gladys V.
Veidemanis, and Helen McDonnell. Glenview, IL: Scott, Foreman, and Company, 1991.
441. Print.
Example Editors’ Writing in an Anthology
Pfordresher, John, Gladys V. Veidemanis, and Helen McDonnell, ed. "Biography: Robert
Burns." England in Literature. Glenview, IL: Scott, Foreman, and Company,
1991. 438. Print.
27
Web Publications
Just by the fluid nature of web-exclusive publications, citing them can prove more challenging.
Remember, the intention of citing a work both in-text with parenthesis and in your Works Cited
page is to allow your reader to verify and further explore your sources, so the goal of any citation
is for it to be easily traceable.
This is the usual sequence for a Web-only citation: name of author or compiler/editor, title of
the work (italicized), title of overall Web site (italicized), version or edition used, publisher or
sponsor of site (if not available use N.p.), date of publication (day, month, year, as available—if
not available, n.d.), medium of publication (Web), and the date of access (day, month, year).
The URL is not required unless the reader cannot locate your source without it. If you supply the
URL, it immediately follows the date of access, a period, and a space. Enclose the URL with in
angle brackets and conclude with a period. If the URL must be divided between two lines, break
it only after a single or double slash.
General Example of Web Article
Last name, First name. “Article Title.” Title of Print Publication. Title of Online Publication,
Day Month Year. Web. Date of Access.
Example Web Magazine Article
Green, Joshua. “The Working Student.” Newsweek. Newsweek, 16 Sept. 2010. Web.
18 May 2011.
Example Web Newspaper Article (no author)
“The Scientists Speak.” Editorial. New York Times. New York Times, 20 Nov. 2010. Web.
22 April 2011.
Example Online Encyclopedia Entry
“Tobacco Industry.” Encyclopedia Britannica Online. Encyclopedia Britannica, 2011. Web.
15 June 2011.
Example University Home page (with an editor an no date)
Liu, Alan, ed. Home page. Voice of the Shuttle. Dept. of English, U of California, Santa
Barbara, n.d. Web. 15 May 2011.
28
Web-Cited Publications with Print Publication Data
This is when the web publication you are using also has a print publication. This can be when a
web magazine or newspaper has previous or concurrent publication in print. It could also
pertain to a book scanned for access in a database. Cite inclusive page numbers from the print
publication. It they are not available, use N. pag.
Example Database Entries
Berger, Joseph. "Cash for Graduates: Should Students--and Adults--Get Paid Just to Do the
Right Thing? New York City Is Giving the Idea a Try." New York Times Upfront 14
Jan.
2008: 22+. General OneFile. Web. 5 Nov. 2010.
Kelly, David. "Overview of 'A Red, Red Rose.'" Poetry for Students. Ed. Mary K. Ruby and
Ira
Mark Milne. Vol. 8. Detroit: Gale Group, 2000. Literature Resource Center.
Web. 26 Apr. 2011.
Maxwell, Lesli A. "D.C. Program to Pay Students for Attendance, Performance." Education
Week 28.01 (2008):4. Academic OneFile. Web. 5 Nov. 2010.
“Robert Burns (1759-1796).” Literature Criticism from 1400 to 1800. Ed. Jelena O. Krstovic.
Vol. 40. Detroit: Gale, 1998. 94-95. Literature Criticism Online. Gale. Grand Valley
State University. 26 April 2011.
Example Magazine in Print and on Web (no author)
“Black Swans.” The Week 8 April 2011:13. The Week. Web. 26 April 2011.
Example Newspaper in Print and on Web
Thoms, Sue. “West Michigan Doctors Join Effort to Save ‘Miracle Cures.’” The Grand Rapids
Press 20 April 2011:A1-2. MLive.com. Michigan Live LLC. Web. 26 April 2011.
*MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers: Seventh Edition was the source for this handout.
29
Showing Detail
Great writers use concrete images (images of real things that can be captured by the five senses)
to create a mental picture for the reader. Showing details may come from personal experience,
observation, or the imagination. The most important rules for providing showing detail are...
"Show, don't tell."
"Always be specific!! Avoid boring, general statements."
PERSONAL NARRATIVE PARAGRAPH WITH SPECIFIC, SHOWING DETAILS
Most of my knowledge and love of fishing came from that same man who told me to "Go
ahead and jump." Since I can remember, I have always fished. My father probably taught me
to fish before I could walk. At first he taught me the basics: tying a swivel to a line, threading
the line through the pole, removing hooks from any part of the body that they may enter, how
to get a lure out of a tree, why to check the inside of hip boots that have been sitting in the
garage all year before putting them on, if the sign says "No Fishing - Violators Will Be
Prosecuted," it probably means it, and, probably most importantly, what to do if you have to
go to the bathroom while on the boat. Occasionally, he also revealed a hot tip while fishing,
such as, "See this lure, son? This one is going to catch the big one. It's only legal in two
states, and this isn't one of them."
* adapted from Creating Writers by Vicki Spandel
LITERARY ANALYSIS USING SPECIFIC, SHOWING DETAILS
Weak example - lacks showing detail
When Gregor does not leave for work, his father becomes angry, but Gregor’s commitment to
his family does not waver.
Strong example - contains showing detail
From the moment he wakes up as an insect, Gregor is determined to go to work. Years of
working in a job he hates have not lessened his determination to “catch the train” (Kafka 786).
While his family is concerned when he does not appear on time, his father’s impatience
quickly becomes anger. Still seeking to fulfill his obligations, Gregor is “not in the least
thinking of deserting his family” (Kafka 789). Even after his father pelts him with apples,
Gregor’s love does not waver.
30
Using Precise, Specific Language
Effective writers use precise, specific language. This means avoiding vague, general statements
at all costs. Vague statements are not specific and tend to be very abstract. In other words, this
means that it is very hard to picture what the writer is describing.
VAGUE STATEMENT
I felt terrible.
SPECIFIC STATEMENT
Chills rattled my body all day, and my throat was tender and scratchy.
VAGUE STATEMENT
Television is bad for your mind.
SPECIFIC SHOWING STATEMENT
When a teenager watches hours of television, his mind is held hostage in a world of flashing
images – images of shiny cars, beautiful women, magical shaving cream fairies, and, of
course, the occasional ad for Pepto-Bismol or some other gastro-intestinal product. These
images crowd out the young man’s imagination, leaving behind a cluttered mind, less capable
of creating on its own.
VAGUE STATEMENT
Extra-curricular activities help students learn social skills.
SPECIFIC SHOWING STATEMENT
Extra-curricular activities help students learn many social skills: how to work with someone
they may not like, how to take criticism from an angry coach, how to pick up a teammate
who’s having a bad night, and how to get back up off the turf and fight back after being
knocked down.
31
Transitional Words and Phrases
A good writer will use transitional words or phrases to connect related ideas. These signal
phrases help your writing flow smoothly from point to point. It is not necessary to use a
transition at the start of every sentence. However, it's a good idea to work a variety of transitions
into your writing.
TRANSITIONS TO USE WHEN ADDING IDEAS:
also
furthermore
another
additionally
in fact
indeed
equally important
in addition
moreover
TRANSITIONS TO USE WHEN YOU MAKE A CONTRAST:
however
on the contrary
on the other hand
nevertheless
notwithstanding
by contrast
although
even though
nonetheless
conversely
all the same
TRANSITIONS TO USE WHEN YOU COMPARE:
likewise
similarly
equally
in comparison
along the same lines
in the same way
TRANSITIONS TO USE WHEN YOU CITE AN EXAMPLE:
for example
for instance
as an illustration
in other words
specifically
consider
in fact
after all
TRANSITIONS TO USE WHEN YOU SHOW RESULTS:
accordingly
as a result
hence
thus
consequently
therefore
TRANSITIONS TO USE WHEN YOU REINFORCE AN IDEA:
especially important
especially relevant
above all
a significant factor
most noteworthy
most of all
TRANSITIONS TO USE WHEN YOU ELABORATE (expand upon a point):
actually
to put it bluntly
in other words
by extension
in short
ultimately
to put it another way
to put it succinctly
TRANSITIONS TO USE WHEN CONCEDING A POINT:
admittedly
of course
although it is true that
naturally
granted
to be sure
TRANSITIONS TO USE WHEN YOU CONCLUDE:
clearly
hence
consequently
obviously
therefore
thus
in short
all in all
32
Sentence Templates: Academic Writing
Introducing What "They Say"



A number of _______________ have recently suggested that _______________.
It has become common today to dismiss ____________________.
In their recent work, Y and Z have offered harsh critiques of _______________.
Introducing "Standard Views"






Americans today tend to believe that _______________________.
Conventional wisdom has it that ___________________.
Common sense seems to dictate that _____________________.
The standard way of thinking about topic X has it that _______________.
It is often said that ___________________.
Many people assume that ___________________.
Introducing Something Implied or Assumed



One implication of X's treatment of __________________ is that _______________.
Although X does not say so directly, she apparently assumes that _______________.
While they rarely admit as much, _________________ often take for granted that ________.
Introducing an Ongoing Debate

In discussions of X, one controversial issue has been _________________. On one hand,
__________ argues ___________. On the other hand, ____________ contends __________.
Others even maintain ___________________. My own view is ______________.

When it comes to the topic of _________________, most of us will readily agree that ________.
Where this agreement usually ends, however, is on the question of _____________. Whereas
some are convinced that ____________, others maintain that ___________.
Capturing the Author's Thoughts or Actions













X acknowledges that ____________.
X agrees that _________________.
X argues that _________________.
X believes that ________________.
X denies that ______________.
X does not deny that __________________.
X claims that __________________.
X complains that ____________________.
X concedes that __________________.
X demonstrates that _____________.
X deplores the tendency to ___________________.
X celebrates the fact that _________________.
X emphasizes that ____________________.
33








X insists that ________________.
X observes that _____________.
X questions whether ___________.
X refutes the claim that _____________.
X reminds us that ________________.
X reports that __________________.
X suggests that ____________________.
X urges us to ____________________.
Introducing a Quotation










X states, "__________________" ( ).
As the prominent philosopher X puts it, "_____________" ( ).
According to X, "_______________" ( ).
X himself writes, "_______________" ( ).
In her book, ____________________, X maintains that "_______________" ( ).
Writing in the magazine ___________________, X complains that "________________"
( ).
In X's view, "___________________" ( ).
X agrees when she writes, "_______________" ( ).
X disagrees when he writes, "___________________" ( ).
X complicates matters further when he writes, _________________" ( ).
Explaining a Quotation






Basically, X is saying _____________________.
In other words, X believes ___________________.
In making this comment, X urges us to _________________.
X is corroborating the age-old adage that _______________.
X's point is that ___________________.
The essence of X's argument is that __________________.
Naming Your Naysayers or Opponents





Here many feminists would probably object that ______________.
Of course, social Darwinists would certainly take issue with the argument that
__________.
Biologists, of course, may want to question whether __________________.
Nevertheless, critics of Malcolm X will probably argue that __________.
Although not all Christians think alike, some of them will probably dispute my claim that
_____
34
Making Concessions While Still Standing Your Ground



Proponents of X are right to argue that ___________. But they are exaggerating when
they claim that _______________.
While it is true that ________________, it does not necessarily follow that
_____________.
On the one hand, X is right to say ____________. On the other hand, it is still true that
______________.
Disagreeing, with Reasons




X is mistaken because she overlooks ___________________.
X's claim that ___________________ rests upon the questionable assumption that
_______.
X can't have it both ways. One the one hand, she argues _________. On the other hand,
she also says __________.
By focusing on _____________, X overlooks the deeper problem of __________.
Establishing Why Your Claims Matter





X matters because __________________.
Although X may seem trivial, it is in fact crucial in terms of today's concern over
_________.
Ultimately, what is at stake here is ______________.
These findings have important consequences for the broader domain of __________.
Although X may seem of concern to only a small group of ______________, it should in
fact concern anyone who cares about _________________.
* Adapted from They Say, I Say by Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein.
35
Using Similes and Metaphors
One way to spice up academic writing is to include vivid similes and metaphors.
1. Simile: a comparison between two unlike things using like or as
“[T]hose days are ill-defined in my memory, running together and combining like a fresh
water-color painting left out in the rain” (Collier 109).
2. Metaphor: a direct comparison between two unlike things
“Poverty was the cage in which we were all trapped … ” (Collier 108).
Qualities of Effective Similes / Metaphors
1.
2.
3.
4.
Compares two things that are not obviously alike
Original and clever: not a cliché
Vivid, descriptive detail
Creates a mental picture for the reader
BAD SIMILE
She felt used like a used car.
GOOD SIMILE
She felt used and unwanted, like the two halves of an Oreo cookie after someone has already
licked the cream out of them.
BAD SIMILE
Her date was as nice as a friendly pedestrian.
GOOD SIMILE
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was like a movie, this guy would
be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man.”
BAD SIMILE
The criminal fell twelve stories, hitting the pavement like a sack of potatoes.
GOOD SIMILE
The criminal fell twelve stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable
soup.
* adapted from Creating Writers by Vicki Spandel
36
Avoiding Wordiness and Redundancy
Avoid wordiness and redundancy by taking out unnecessary words or phrases or by taking out any
words or phrases that repeat themselves. You can also avoid wordiness by eliminating unnecessary
helping verbs (am, is, are, was, were) and using active rather than passive voice.
Eliminate unnecessary words.
WORDY: In spite of the fact that I like you, at this particular point in time I will not be investing.
REDUCED: Although I like you, I won’t be investing now.
You can trim “It is” or “There are” from virtually any sentence.
WORDY: There are three rivers that run through this county.
REDUCED: Three rivers run through this county.
WORDY: It is the satisfaction of completing a project that makes construction work rewarding.
REDUCED. The satisfaction of completing a project makes construction work rewarding.
Eliminate redundant expressions.
REDUNDANT: Joe is going to fix the broken heater, which is not working.
CORRECT: Joe is going to fix the broken heater.
REDUNDANT: The Lions lost six consecutive games in a row.
CORRECT: The Lions lost six consecutive games.
Avoid using helping forms of “to be” (am, is, are, was, were) whenever possible.
WORDY: Eurylochus is serving as a foil for Odysseus.
REDUCED: Eurylochus serves as a foil for Odysseus.
Use active rather than passive voice.
WORDY / PASSIVE VOICE: America was discovered by Christopher Columbus.
BETTER / ACTIVE VOICE: Christopher Columbus discovered America.
WORDY / PASSIVE VOICE: Hester is forced to look inward and to question the central tenets of
Puritanism by her isolation.
BETTER / ACTIVE VOICE: Hester’s isolation forces her to look inward and to question the central
tenets of Puritanism.
DIRECTIONS: Make these wordy sentences more concise.
1. There are a great deal of people at this particular time in history who avoid making any statements that
might be considered controversial.
2. Dimmesdale is prevented from finding redemption throughout the action of the novel by cowardice.
37
Using Active Voice
Generally, a writer should USE ACTIVE VOICE instead of passive voice. The writer should also
avoid shifting from active to passive voice (or vice versa).
ACTIVE VOICE = the subject is doing something
PASSIVE VOICE = something is being done to the subject
USING ACTIVE VOICE TO AVOID AN AWKWARD CONSTRUCTION
PASSIVE VOICE = awkward

The new hit was sung by Beyonce.
(In the above example, the “new hit” is the subject; unfortunately, the “new hit” isn’t doing anything.)
ACTIVE VOICE - Much more direct:

Beyonce sang the new hit.
(In the above example, Beyonce is the subject. She is doing something – singing.)
PASSIVE VOICE = awkward

Joseph’s diary is read by Annabeth.
ACTIVE VOICE = direct

Annabeth reads Joseph’s diary.
The best strategy to avoid unnecessary use of passive voice is for students to consciously use action verbs
and not forms of the verb “to be” whenever possible.
INCORRECTLY SHIFTING VOICE
INCORRECT: Joe fractured his toe; therefore, the race was lost by him.
(switches from active voice to passive voice)
CORRECT: Joe fractured his toe; therefore, he lost the race.
INCORRECT: Screams of joy could be heard (passive) as the rescue boat approached (active).
CORRECT: The survivors screamed joyfully (active) as the rescue boat approached (active).
Proper Use of the Passive Voice
Use the passive voice when you need to emphasize the action rather than the actor.
CORRECT: I was baptized in the Mississippi River. (The active voice – My minister baptized me
in the Mississippi River – falsely emphasizes the minister.)
CORRECT: The boys were injured in an automobile accident. (The active voice – An automobile
accident injured the boys – suggests that the accident was actively trying to injure the boys. )
DIRECTIONS: Rewrite each of the following sentences in the active voice.
1.
I was invited by Steve to the movies.
2.
Several difficult challenges are faced by first-year teachers.
38
Avoiding Sexist Language
To avoid the appearance of gender preference in writing, many academic institutions have adopted
guidelines regarding sexist language. At CSHS, teachers have the prerogative to establish such
guidelines for their classes. However, CSHS endorses the following general principles:







The use of “he,” “his,” etc. to refer to people in general (masculine and feminine) is acceptable.
Similarly the use of “man” or “mankind” to refer to humanity as a whole is likewise acceptable.
Students may use “she,” “her,” etc. if they wish, in place of the masculine.
Students may also choose to use “he/she,” “his/her,” etc., although this is discouraged in order to
avoid awkward writing.
Whichever format students choose, it should be followed consistently within an assignment.
The “epicene they” (i.e. “If a person wishes to avoid sexist language, they should follow the
above directions.”) is never acceptable in CSHS assignments as it is grammatically incorrect.
Some teachers may choose to require students to use the plural form throughout the essay (i.e. If
people wish to avoid sexist language, they should follow the above directions.”)
* adapted from the Tempe Preparatory Style guide
39
Elements of a Complete Sentence
An independent clause is a clause containing a subject, a verb, and a complete thought. An independent
clause can stand alone as a sentence.
INDEPENDENT CLAUSE by itself = SENTENCE:
Steve excels in the classroom.
Subject
Verb
The subject of a sentence is the person,
place, thing, or idea that is doing or being
something.
a word used to show an action or to indicate a state of being
V
S
Joe purchased a new car.
A subject is not always one word.
Sometimes an entire phrase (in these
cases gerund phrases) acts as the
subject.
Joe purchased a new car.
V
The car is red.
S
Being on time for work is important.
S
Doing things for others generates
happiness.
Linking Verbs
Helping Verbs
verbs that indicate a state of being
a verb that works with a main verb to create a verb phrase
am
be
seem
is are
been
was were
look
appear taste
am
is
are
was
were
be
been
being
have do
has
does
had
did
can
could
should
would
may
must
might
will
shall
V
Joe seems tired.
V
The window is open.
HV
HV
MV
Gary should have went to the party.
If a group of words lacks a subject, a verb, or a complete thought, it is not a complete sentence.
Instead, it is called a sentence fragment.
A sentence fragment is a group of words that is not a complete sentence. Sometimes, writers will intentionally use
fragments in a piece of literature. However, in most formal compositions, we want to avoid unintended sentence
fragments.
FRAGMENT: The quarterback near the ten-yard line.
FRAGMENT: Shifted into lower gear.
FRAGMENT: Because I really enjoy football.
(What is the quarterback doing? No verb.)
(Who shifted? No subject.)
( No complete thought)
Label the subjects and verbs / verb phrases in the following examples. Then, determine whether or not each word
group is a sentence (S) or a fragment (F). Remember, an independent clause / sentence must contain a subject, a
verb, and a complete thought.
1. Joe plays the piano.
_____
2. The waitress had cleaned off the table.
_____
3. Two stuffed animals on the bed.
_____
4. Seeking the truth is the job of a good reporter.
_____
5. While the waitress had cleaned off the table.
_____
40
Clauses and Phrases
An independent clause is a clause containing a subject, a verb, and a complete thought. An independent
clause can stand alone as a sentence.
INDEPENDENT CLAUSE by itself:
Steve excels in the classroom.
INDEPENDENT CLAUSE as part of a sentence:
Because he studies regularly, Steve excels in the classroom.
TWO INDEPENDENT CLAUSES joined in a compound sentence:
Steve is not a great athlete, but he excels in the classroom.
A dependent clause contains a subject and a verb but does not express a complete thought. It cannot stand
alone as a sentence.
DEPENDENT CLAUSE as part of a sentence:
Because he studies regularly, Steve excels in the classroom.
Steve excels in the classroom because he studies regularly.
AAAWWUBBIS is an acronym to help you remember the basic subordinating conjunctions. An
AAAWWUBBIS turns a sentence/independent clause into a dependent clause.
After Although As
When/Whenever While Until/Unless
Because Before If
Since
SENTENCE: I studied for the test.
DEPENDENT CLAUSE / FRAGMENT:
Although I studied for the test.
CORRECT: Although I studied for the test, I still did poorly.
A phrase is a group of words that does not contain its own subject or verb. It cannot stand alone as a
sentence.
PHRASE ALONE / FRAGMENT: Hoping that his mother would soon arrive.
CORRECT: Hoping that his mother would soon arrive, Steve paced impatiently.
PHRASE ALONE / FRAGMENT: Joe dribbled up court. His sparkling new Nikes squeaking with each cut.
CORRECT: Joe dribbled up court, his sparkling new Nikes squeaking with each cut.
CORRECT: Joe, his sparkling new Nikes squeaking with each cut, dribbled up court.
DIRECTIONS: Identify the boldfaced portion as either an independent clause (IC), a dependent clause (DC), or a phrase (P).
1. Until you learn how to play defense, you will have to sit the bench. ___
2. Embarrassed and emotionally-drained, Ron locked himself in his room. ____
3. The students worked on their tests while the teacher graded papers. ____
4. Most of the students, even the ones with failing grades, respected the teacher. ____
5. Until you learn how to play defense, you will have to sit the bench. ___
6. Embarrassed and emotionally-drained, Ron locked himself in his room. ____
7. The students worked on their tests while the teacher graded papers. ____
8. Most of the students, even the ones struggling to pass the class, respected the teacher. ____
41
Using Relative Clauses
A relative clause is one kind of dependent clause. It has a subject and verb, but can't stand alone as a sentence. A relative
clause will always begin with a relative pronoun (who, whom, whose, that, which). Look at how the relative clauses
below are used to combine two sentences.
I like the person. The person spoke to me on the subway.
I like the person who spoke to me on the subway.
I dislike the cat. The cat killed my pet hamster.
I dislike the cat that killed my pet hamster.
I am moving to Grand Rapids, Michigan. It is hometown of Floyd Mayweather.
I am moving to Grand Rapids, Michigan, which is the hometown of Floyd Mayweather.
A relative clause always begins with a “relative pronoun,” which substitutes for a noun or a pronoun when sentences are
combined.
RELATIVE PRONOUN
who
USED FOR
People
whom
People
whose
that
People – shows
possession
People or things
which
Things
SUBSTITUTES FOR
subjects (people performing an action) – think of names or pronouns such
as he, she, we, they
objects (people receiving an action) – think of names or pronouns such as
him, her, us, them
possessive nouns or pronouns (his, hers, ours, their)
Subjects or objects – only used in essential / restrictive clauses – never set
off with commas
Subjects or objects – used in non-restrictive causes – set off with commas
Essential (or restrictive) relative clauses give information that is needed to define the noun. NEVER use commas to set
off an essential clause.
I like the sculptures that are in front of Warriner Hall.
Students who complete all of their work will pass this class.
I hope to hear from the girl whom I spoke with last night.
I hope to hear from the girl with whom I spoke last night.
Non-essential (or non-restrictive) relative clauses give extra information that is not essential to the meaning of a
sentence. Use a comma or commas to set off non-essential relative clauses.
My brother, who teaches at Grandville High School, is an avid hunter and fisherman.
I am planning on growing broccoli, which I find quite delicious.
Steve is teaching a Sunday School class with four and five year-olds, which can be quite demanding.
Identify whether each boldfaced claused is essential (E) or non-essential (NE). If the clause is non-essential,
insert commas where needed.
1. _____ Gary who won the spelling bee became the first one in our class to receive an award.
2. _____ John’s wrist which he broke last fall is still too weak for him to throw discus.
3. _____ Few stockbrokers who claim to be able to navigate the market can actually do so.
4. ______Were Mr. Stark’s directions which seemed rushed understandable to the class?
5. ______ The home that was destroyed by fire belonged to Reverend Hitzeroth.
42
Avoiding Sentence Fragments
A sentence fragment is a group of words that is not a complete sentence. Sometimes, writers will
intentionally use fragments in a piece of literature. However, in most formal compositions, we want to
avoid unintended sentence fragments.
COMMON CAUSES OF A SENTENCE FRAGMENT
1. Missing subject or verb
FRAGMENT: The quarterback near the ten-yard line.

What is the quarterback doing? (no verb)
FRAGMENT: Shifted into lower gear.

Who shifted into lower gear? (no subject)
2. Dependent clause (AAAWWUBBIS) left alone
FRAGMENT: Because I really enjoy football.
CORRECT: Because I really enjoy football, I’m going to purchase Lions’ season tickets.
3. PHRASE left alone
FRAGMENT: Stranded in the middle of a darkening forest. Laura desperately searched for civilization.
CORRECT: Stranded in the middle of a darkening forest, Laura desperately searched for civilization.
FRAGMENT: Hoping that his mother would soon arrive.
CORRECT: Hoping that his mother would soon arrive, Steve fiddled and paced impatiently.
FRAGMENT: Mark slipped away. Leaving his empty cereal bowl on the table.
CORRECT: Mark slipped away, leaving his empty cereal bowl on the table.
4. Generally, try to avoid beginning a sentence with “And, Which, But, Or, Such as...” unless you're
doing it KNOWINGLY and with a PURPOSE.
FRAGMENT: Steve graciously stopped and waited for Leeann. Which impressed her mother greatly.
CORRECT: Steve graciously stopped and waited for Leeann, which impressed her mother greatly.
FRAGMENT: Many problems infest our cities. Such as crime, a crumbling infrastructure, home
foreclosures, and poor public services.
CORRECT: Many problems infest our cities, such as crime, a crumbling infrastructure, home
foreclosures, and poor public services.
43
Compound Sentences
An independent clause is a clause containing a subject, a verb, and a complete thought. An independent
clause can stand alone as a sentence.
INDEPENDENT CLAUSE by itself:
Steve excels in the classroom.
INDEPENDENT CLAUSE as part of a sentence:
Because he studies regularly, Steve excels in the classroom.
TWO INDEPENDENT CLAUSES joined in a compound sentence:
Steve is not a great athlete, but he excels in the classroom.
FANBOYS is an acronym representing the seven coordinating conjunctions (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so).
You can use a comma + one of the FANBOYS to join two sentences together.

I'd love to go to the dance with you, but I'm going to be in Colorado.

Joe will be on time tomorrow, or he will be fired.
A semicolon can also be used to join two sentences. You can use the semicolon by itself, or you can use the
semicolon with a transition.
The editor puts together the newsletter; the publisher distributes it.
I'd love to go to the dance with you; unfortunately, I'm going to be in Colorado.
Put brackets around the independent clauses in the following compound sentences. Then, label the subjects and
verbs / verb phrases in each independent clause. Remember, an independent clause / sentence must contain a
subject, a verb, and a complete thought. Do not include coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS) as a part of the
independent clause. Think of the coordinating conjunctions as a train hitch, linking two independent clauses.
1. Fans of the Detroit Tigers dislike the Chicago White Sox, but they hate the New York Yankees.
2. Lisa will turn in her paper, or she will not receive credit for the semester.
3. Gary manages day-to-day operations; Andrea handles marketing.
4. The team is better; still, it remains in last place.
44
Avoiding Run-Ons
A run-on occurs when two sentences are improperly connected together. A common misconception is
that a run-on is a really long sentence. That's not necessarily true. A sentence can be really long as long
as it is properly punctuated.
Most run-ons actually occur because writers either forget end punctuation or try to use a comma to join
two complete sentences.
HOW YOU GET A RUN-ON
1. Lack of punctuation
RUN-ON: The contestant hesitated the buzzer sounded.
2. Comma splice (using a comma improperly to connect two sentences)
RUN-ON: The judge entered the courtroom, everyone rose.
HOW YOU FIX A RUN-ON
RUN-ON: The judge entered the courtroom, everyone rose.
1. Use a period.
The judge entered the courtroom. Everyone rose.
2. Comma + FANBOYS
The judge entered the courtroom, so everyone rose.
3. Semicolon
The judge entered the courtroom; everyone rose.
4. Semicolon + transition (conjunctive adverb)
The judge entered the courtroom; thus, everyone rose.
45
Commas
A comma indicates a pause. It can either separate something, or it can connect two sentences if used with one of the
FANBOYS.
WHEN TO USE A COMMA:
1. Use a comma after an opener (introductory word, phrase, or clause). An opener is a single word or fragment that is located at
the start of a sentence and is followed by a comma.



Furthermore, I find the wording of your proposal to be offensive.
Broken and bruised, Diaz was ready to call it a day.
Because she had a sore throat, Janna was unable to sing her solo.
2. Use a comma to set off an interrupter (a nonessential phrase or clause) - a word or phrase that interrupts the flow of a
sentence. You can tell if something is an interrupter by checking to see whether or not it is essential to the sentence. If you can
take it out, and the meaning of the sentence doesn't really change, the interrupter is nonessential, and should be set off with
commas.


William, in fact, made the all-state hockey team.
Timmy, the smallest of the boys, was teasing my sister.
3. Use a comma to set off a closer - a fragment that is added after an independent clause (could be a complete sentence) and is
preceded by a comma.


Joe dribbled up court, his sparkling new Nikes squeaking with each move he made.
There sat Steve, blissfully unaware of the chaos he had created.
4. Use commas to separate items in a series.
 Getting to school on time, doing all my assignments, and behaving well are all things I can do to ensure my success in
school.
5. Use a comma + one of the FANBOYS to make a compound sentence.
 I’d love to help you finish your project, but I have to be to work by nine.
 Gary will turn in his final project, or he will flunk the class.
6. Use a comma to introduce a quotation when used with explanatory words like he said or she exclaimed.
 “Wait,” demanded Stevie, “you can’t leave yet.”
 Jerry said, "I want some swimming goggles."
7. Use a comma in dates and addresses.


On September 11, 2001, the United States was attacked.
I lived at 13768 Fruit Ridge Avenue, Kent City, Michigan, for thirteen years.
When NOT to use a COMMA...
1. Don't use a comma if the dependent clause (AAAWWUBBIS) comes second.
INCORRECT: The boy knocked on the door, while I was eating.
CORRECT: The boy knocked on the door while I was eating.
2. Don't automatically use a comma just because you see one of the FANBOYS.
INCORRECT: We sat down at the table, and began to talk.
CORRECT: We sat down at the table and began to talk. (In this case, and is connecting two verbs, not two complete
sentences.)
3. Don't use a comma to set off an ESSENTIAL phrase or clause. Ask yourself this question: if you were to take the phrase or
clause out of the sentence, would the basic meaning of the sentence change? If the answer is yes, then the phrase or clause is
essential.
INCORRECT: I recognized many of the students, who stood with me, in front of the school.
CORRECT: I recognized many of the students who stood with me in front of the school.
46
Semicolons ;
Colons
A semicolon is stronger than a comma but
weaker than a period. It is used to link two
independent clauses with similar ideas, or it can
be used to avoid confusion when there are
already too many commas in a sentence.
A colon indicates a stop and then introduces
something. In the words of Jeff Anderson,
“The colon acts like a drum roll, announcing
what will follow.”
When to use a Semicolon
When to use a Colon
1. Use a semicolon to join two independent clauses,
creating a compound sentence.
1. Use a colon after a stop to introduce a list.

2. Use a semicolon and a transition (conjunctive
adverb) to join two independent clauses, creating a
compound sentence.


Students with jobs lose focus on their school
work; their grades begin to slip and their
futures dim.
:
Our guide told us to bring the following
items: a lantern, a sleeping bag, and a tent.
2. Use a colon after a stop to introduce a quotation.

Students with jobs lose focus on their school
work; hence, their grades begin to slip and
their futures dim.
The President's attitude was cold and
detached: "We must not let emotion
interfere with our mission."
3. Use a semicolon to separate items in a series that
contain commas.

My cousin has lived in Detroit, Michigan;
Cleveland, Ohio; and Las Vegas, Nevada.

Bobby hired Joe, the carpenter; Larry, the
mason; and Steve, the electrician.

On this plan, I can eat whole-grain breads,
pastas, and tortilla chips; citrus fruits, green
vegetables, and some ruffage; and lean
meats, such as turkey or fish.
3. Use a colon after a stop to introduce another
sentence or a summary.

It's obvious why you're tired: you're staying
up too late.
DIRECTIONS: Insert semicolons or colons where needed in the following sentences.
1. I’d like to help you out unfortunately, I don’t have the time.
2. The principal made the following announcement “School will be closed at 12:30.”
3. Joe has worked in Austin, Texas, Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Boise, Idaho.
4. I grabbed everything I would need a fishing pole, bait, and my water bottle.
5. The writer’s job is to write the editor’s job is to edit.
6. You failed the test for one reason you didn’t study.
47
Apostrophes
An apostrophe shows possession or contraction. Make sure you understand how to use apostrophes
properly in your writing.
WHEN TO USE AN APOSTROPHE
1. To show possession, use an 's after any singular noun or any word that does not end in s.
Jimmy's car
the clock's hands
the school's furnace
Arianna's bike
the children’s toys
Ross’s house
2. To show possession, use an s’ if a plural word ends in s.

All of the teachers' desks were moved out into the hall.

Some of the drivers' cars were damaged.
(teachers is plural)
(drivers is plural)
3. Use an apostrophe in contractions.

she's = she is

We'll succeed.

They're going to be late.
hasn't = has not
they're = they are
won't = will not it's = it is
4. Avoid using an apostrophe when using a possessive pronoun.
POSSESSIVE PRONOUNS (don't need apostrophes)
Singular
Plural
my
our
your
your
his her its
their
The car had lost its wheel.
Jenna left her book in her locker.
The team members left their equipment behind.
Whose file is this?
5. If two or more people share possession of something, you only need to use an apostrophe with name of the
last owner mentioned.
Steve and Lisa’s apartment was destroyed.
If each person individually possesses something, you need to use an apostrophe with each name.
Gary’s and Arthur’s clothes were destroyed in the fire.
DIRECTIONS: Edit and correct any errors in apostrophe usage.
1. “Its time for you to leave,” said Lindas mother.
2. The group of hikers has lost it’s way.
3. Its parents night at the high school, so Steve and Lisas dad wont be home.
4. If you were absent, copy either Andreas or Eastons notes.
48
Dashes
Dashes may be used to set off a major interruption within a sentence. Dashes can replace commas, but
only in cases in which the writer wishes to indicate a stronger break than a comma would provide.
A writer may also use a dash to set off a summary or explanation that follows a list. In this case, the
dash acts almost like a colon in reverse.
Use dashes sparingly. If overused, they can create a choppy rhythm and damage the coherence of a
composition.
Dashes may be used to set off a
major interruption within a
sentence.
My father – and it is hard to blame him given the poverty in which
he grew up – grows very angry if he feels that someone is
denigrating the poor.
My uncle – I strongly suspected – knew nothing about remodeling
houses.
Things I used to be good at – crossword puzzles, trivia games, and
chess – became exercises in frustration after my head injury.
A writer may also use a dash to Volkswagen, BMW, and Mercedes – these are all German auto
set off a summary or
companies.
explanation that follows a list.
Joe, Jason, and Cliff – they all objected to Marc’s engagement to
Clarissa.
DIRECTIONS: Insert dashes where necessary in the following sentences.
1. Mr. Jones the type of person who could silence of a room filled with dozens of hyperactive band
students was at a loss for words around the group of kindergartners.
2. Chemistry, Algebra II, and American Government these courses were all required for graduation.
3. Even my closest friends Sue, Daniel, and Alyssa would not support me.
49
Parallelism
When we talk about items in a sentence being parallel, we mean that each of the items is presented in
the same form as the others. It is important to maintain parallelism when listing or comparing things.
INCORRECT: Even before he arrived at school, Jonas was anxious, restless, and felt that everyone was
staring at him.
PARALLEL: Even before he arrived at school, Jonas was anxious, restless, and self-conscious.
INCORRECT: Most kids would rather eat a hamburger, chips, and cookies.
PARALLEL: Most kids would rather eat hamburgers, chips, and cookies.
INCORRECT: We saw her lack of interest and how negatively she acted around the counselors.
PARALLEL: We saw her lack of interest and her negative attitude toward the counselors.
INCORRECT: She likes taking hikes better than to play tennis.
PARALLEL: She likes taking hikes better than playing tennis.
EXAMPLE USING CLAUSES:
The main results of the “reforms” instituted by the new superintendent were that teachers grew frustrated
with the new curriculum, students resented the constant testing, and parents started a petition calling for
the superintendent to be fired.
* The results of the reforms listed are all in parallel form. Each follows a simple subject / verb construction.
DIRECTIONS: Revise the following sentences to correct lapses in parallelism.
1. The story you just told me demonstrates Scott’s kindness, generosity, and how he could understand
other people’s problems.
2. Hester notices Chillingworth’s dark features and that he has grown bitter.
3. Schools should require students to wear uniforms in order to limit the distractions caused by
inappropriate clothing, eliminating social distinctions based on economic status, and for the
improvement in the school environment.
50
Subject-Verb Agreement
In any sentence, the subject and verb must agree. This simply means that the correct verb form must be used
depending upon whether the subject is singular or plural.
Usually, native speakers don't even have to think about subject-verb agreement. If it's wrong, it sounds really
wrong. For example, if someone says, "Joe and I is going to the store," that just doesn’t sound right.
However, there are some circumstances in which subject-verb agreement errors are trickier to notice.
A subject and a verb His social status, along with his income, is going to take a hit.
that are separated
The audience of teenagers is about to explode.
must agree.
A mob of people is overtaking the streets.
The herd of cows (sleep / sleeps ) in the barn.
Compound subjects
(joined by and) take
plural verbs. A
present tense plural
verb does NOT end
in –s.
Gary and I take turns.
In either / or
situations, the verb
must agree with the
subject nearest to the
verb.
Joe’s lack of ambition and his poor energy level eventually lead his
girlfriends to dump him.
Joe and Steve (is / are ) best friends.
The principal’s kindness and strength ( make / makes ) him a good leader.
Neither Lisa nor Betty is attending.
Either Joe or Gary brings a recorder to every meeting.
Neither the owner nor the manager ( help / helps) with inventory.
Neither Jan nor his friends (eat / eats) sushi.
Nobody here knows the answer.
If the subject of the
sentence is a singular
Everyone is here.
indefinite pronoun,
use a singular verb
form.
SINGULAR
INDEFINITE
PRONOUNS:
each
one
no one
anybody
every
everybody
everyone
nobody
someone
either
anyone
neither
somebody
The men are bringing shovels.
(men is plural)
Each of the men is bringing a shovel.
(each is singular)
The workers ( is / are ) attending the meeting.
Every one of the workers ( is / are ) attending the meeting.
51
Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement
A pronoun must agree with its antecedent in number and gender. The antecedent is the word that the pronoun
has replaced.
You have to figure out if the sentence is
talking about each person individually or
about more than one person.
Then, you have to use the appropriate
pronoun.
Singular Personal Pronouns
he, she, it, his, her, its

You have to use “he or she” or “his
or her” if a singular noun is used
and gender is unknown.
A student left his or her bag in Mr. Stark's classroom.
When students participate in community service, they learn to be
more responsible.
An athlete must be in command of _________ body.
Athletes must be in command of _________ bodies.
WRITING TIP: Because his/her sounds awkward, it is
recommended that you generally use the plural construction in your
writing.
Plural Personal Pronouns
they, we, their, our
Singular indefinite pronouns can cause
confusion. That's because all of these
pronouns are singular, but we often
mistakenly think of them as referring to
multiple people.
SINGULAR INDEFINITE PRONOUNS:
each
one
no one
anybody
every
everybody
everyone
nobody
someone
either
anyone
neither
somebody
Sometimes you may be referring to a
group of people in the collective sense. If
the group is working together as a unit, you
will use the pronoun it or its.
The team members have an obligation to give ____________ best.
Everybody has an obligation to give __________best effort.
Justin and Ben brought _______________ guitars.
Neither Justin nor Ben brought _____ guitar.
Joe left ___________ book in Mr. Stark's room.
Somebody left _________________ book in Mr. Stark's room.
The committee gave _____________ opinion on the matter.
Each member of the committee gave ________ opinion on the
matter.
EX. The team did not achieve all of its
goals for the season.
If you are referring to each member of a team
in an individual sense, use his or her.
EX. Each member of the committee
expressed his or her opinion.
For simplicity's sake, it is recommended that
you try to consistently use the plural form
when you're writing a paper. This makes it
much easier to avoid errors in subject-verb
agreement.
The group said that ______ purpose was to protect the Great Lakes.
Every member of the group presented ______ thoughts during the
meeting.
CORRECT: When students participate in extra-curricular
activities, they tend to earn better grades.
CORRECT, but awkward: When a student participates in an
extra-curricular activity, he/she tends to earn better grades.
INCORRECT: When a student participates in an extra-curricular
activity, they tend to earn better grades.
DIRECTIONS: Revise the following sentence, correcting any errors in pronoun-antecedent agreement.
1. When a teacher is given more autonomy, their attitude and sense of well-being improve.
52
Awkward Constructions and Unclear Sentences
Fix awkward constructions and unclear sentences by
1. simplifying the sentence using active voice,
2. placing any descriptive words, phrases, or clauses next to the thing they are modifying,
3. and making sure descriptive words, phrases, or clauses have something to modify.
Simplify the
sentence using
active voice.
CONFUSED: My brother has his cell phone, which he is totally absorbed in
playing with, raising his head only when somebody specifically calls his name.
CLEAR: My brother loses himself in his cell phone, raising his head only when
someone calls his name.
Make sure to place
any descriptive
words, phrases,
or clauses are
NEXT to the
word they are
modifying.
Otherwise, you get
a misplaced
modifier.
MISPLACED MODIFIER: Joe packed all of his unwanted clothes and house
wares into his truck, which he was donating to Goodwill.
CLEAR: Joe packed all of his unwanted clothes and house wares, which he was
donating to Goodwill, into his truck.
MISPLACED MODIFIER: Having run out of gas, John was late for dinner.
CLEAR: Because his car ran out of gas, John was late for dinner.
MISPLACED MODIFIER: Last week during the tornado, I nearly lost all of the
shingles on my roof.
CLEAR: Last week during the storm, I lost nearly all of the shingles on my roof.
A dangling
modifier occurs
when the noun that
a phrase or clause
is supposed to
describe is not
stated directly.
Thus, the phrase or
clause “dangles”
without anything
to clearly modify.
DANGLING MODIFIER: Naïve and idealistic, teaching would be easy for me.
(“Naïve and idealistic” is a dangling modifier. The person who is “naïve and
idealistic” is not clearly connected to the phrase.)
CLEAR: Naïve and idealistic, I thought teaching would be easy.
DANGLING MODIFIER: To increase strength, weights should be lifted.
(Who needs to lift weights?)
CLEAR: To increase their strength, athletes should lift weights.
Revise the following sentences, eliminating awkwardness or misplaced / dangling modifiers.
1. My brother, pointing to the television when I asked him a question, is a guy who watches hours of sports,
hating to be interrupted.
2. Angry and excited, my heart began to race inside of me.
3. Ethan served ice cream to his friends in Styrofoam bowls.
53
Avoiding Illogical Sentences
When constructing sentences, it is extremely important to make sure that your sentences are logical. This means
that you need to use transitions or conjunctions correctly. You also need to make sure to make logical
comparisons and to logically link your subject and verb.
Don't use a coordinating
conjunction (one of the
FANBOYS) to make an
illogical connection.
ILLOGICAL: The real power in the company lies with Mr. Costanza, and he
currently owns 55 percent of the stock.
Use a logical transitional
word or subordinating
conjunction
(AAAWWUBBIS) when
connecting clauses.
INCORRECT: Because in order to fix the television, we need to hire a repairman.
LOGICAL: The real power in the company lies with Mr. Costanza because he
currently owns 55 percent of the stock.
CORRECT: In order to fix the television, we need to hire a repairman.
INCORRECT: Bobby’s Automotive Service was the only car repair place in town;
however, he did great business.
CORRECT: Bobby’s Automotive Service was the only car repair place in town;
therefore, he did great business.
INCORRECT: These new technologies provide a student with the chance to access
a huge amount of information. For example, they also present a student with many
distractions.
CORRECT: These new technologies provide a student with the chance to access a
huge amount of information. ____________, they also present a student with many
distractions.
INCORRECT: These types of reading experiences are helpful although they help
students develop comprehension strategies.
CORRECT: These types of reading experiences are helpful _____________ they
help students develop comprehension strategies.
When comparing two
things, make sure that the
two things are equal.
Compare apples to
apples.
INCORRECT: Her salary was lower than a teacher.
CORRECT: Her salary was lower than a teacher’s.
INCORRECT: The museums in New York are as impressive as any other large city.
CORRECT: The museums in New York are as impressive as those in any other
large city.
Make sure that your
subject and verb fit
together logically.
INCORRECT: According to researchers, the ages of twenty to thirty are subject to
the most stress.
(The "ages" are not subject to the most peer pressure, the people of those ages are.)
CORRECT: According to one source, twenty to thirty year-olds are subject to the
most peer pressure.
INCORRECT: The low cost of internet classes may soon replace teacher-led
courses.
(The "low cost" will not replace the courses. The internet classes will.)
CORRECT: Low-cost internet classes may soon replace teacher-led courses.
54
Common Word Errors
The following are all common word errors that often appear in student writing. Make sure to avoid
these errors in your writing.
then = indicates the passage of time
than = indicates comparison
First, prime the walls. Then, paint.
I'd rather watch than participate.
could've = the contraction form of could have
INCORRECT: Joe could of been a college athlete.
"Could of" is not an expression. It should
NEVER be used
CORRECT: Joe could've been a college athlete.
effect = a result
affect = to influence or change
The effect of higher gas prices was felt by all.
Jesus' teachings have affected Joe's life.
your = possessive pronoun
Your car is damaged.
you're = you are
You're going to be late.
its = possessive pronoun
The car lost its wheel.
it's = contraction for it is
It's time to go.
their = belonging to them
Their boat is over there.
there = tells a place
There is the man for whom we were looking.
they're = contraction form of they are
They're very nice people.
weather = climate conditions
The weather is frightful.
whether = if
I don't know whether or not I like him.
who's = contraction of who is
Who's waiting outside?
whose = belonging to whom
Whose signature is this?
55
who = used as a subject (does something)
Who ordered this pizza?
whom = used as an object (receives
something)
To whom should I deliver this pizza?
loose = free or untied
Joe did not want to lose the loose tooth.
lose = to fail to win or to misplace
Did your team win or lose?
Who should always be used to refer to
people.
CORRECT: The person who stole the saddle off the
ostrich is a criminal.
Don’t use that or which to refer to a person. INCORRECT: The person that stole the saddle off the
That or which refer to objects / animals.
ostrich is a criminal.
That begins a restrictive and necessary
clause. Which begins a nonessential or
unrestrictive clause.
Never use more than one would in a
sentence.
CORRECT: Michigan is a state that has a budget
problem.
CORRECT: Michigan, which has a budget problem,
faces many challenges.
INCORRECT: If you would have put the banana in
your ear, you would not have heard me.
CORRECT: If you had put the banana in your ear, you
would not have heard me.
A lot is two words.
CORRECT: I have a lot of friends.
* The last four entries were adapted from the Tempe Preparatory Style Guide.
56
Common Usage Errors
The following usage errors are fairly common in writing. Be careful to avoid them.
Avoid Double Negatives.
A double negative occurs when you use
two negative words in the same sentence.
CORRECT: The Michigan defense did nothing to stop
the Michigan offense.
NEGATIVE WORDS
not
never
nowhere
can't
INCORRECT: The Michigan defense couldn't do
nothing to stop the Michigan State offense.
nor
nobody
wouldn't
won't
neither
nothing
didn't
CORRECT: The Michigan defense couldn't do anything
to stop the Michigan State offense.
Adjective vs. Adverb
An adjective modifies a noun or pronoun.
An adverb usually modifies a verb.
ADJECTIVES
good
bad
real
sure
ADVERBS
well
badly
really
surely
INCORRECT: She doesn't sing so good.
He wants that job bad.
CORRECT: She doesn't sing so well.
He wants that job badly.
INCORRECT: This was a real good clambake.
He sure doesn't look happy.
CORRECT: This was a really good clambake.
He surely doesn't look happy.
Incorrect Use of a Preposition
Make sure you're using the correct
preposition.
INCORRECT: We had waited for years to make this
trip among California.
CORRECT: We had waited for years to make this trip
through California.
57
Tone = speaker’s attitude; how a writer speaks to the audience
Positive Tone Words
 admiring, approving,
complimentary,
laudatory
 adoring, affectionate
 bemused, mystified
 benevolent, kind-hearted
 blithe, carefree, casual
 calm, placid, relaxed,
tranquil
 celebratory, cheerful,
ebullient
 comic, funny, humorous
 compassionate, comforting,
empathetic, tender
 conciliatory, peace-making,
pacifying
 confident, self-assured
 contented, satisfied
 earnest, sincere, fervent
 excited, ecstatic, elated,
effusive, euphoric
 encouraging, supportive,
reassuring
 facetious, flippant, teasing,
tongue-in-cheek
 forthright, straightforward
 introspective, reflective,
wistful
 jovial, mirthful, playful
 lively, whimsical, lighthearted, sprightly
 modest, humble,
unassuming, reserved
 nostalgic, sentimental,
poignant,
 optimistic, sanguine,
hopeful, expectant
 passionate, emotionallycharged
 proud, prideful
 respectful, reverent,
worshipful
 romantic, idealistic,
impractical
 scholarly, cerebral, bookish
Neutral Tone Words
commanding
direct
impartial
indirect
meditative
objective
questioning
speculative
unambiguous
unconcerned
understated
* Keep in mind that when words
are grouped together, this does
not necessarily mean that they
are synonyms. The words in
groups share similarities, but
they do not necessarily mean the
same thing.
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Negative Tone Words
 acerbic, biting, bitter, caustic
 ambiguous, vague, uncertain
 ambivalent, apathetic, indifferent,
resigned
 angry, annoyed, enraged, furious,
hostile, inflammatory
 antagonistic, belligerent, indignant
 bewildered, confused
 bossy, demanding
 cold, stolid, emotionless,
indifferent
 conceited, haughty, arrogant,
pretentious, patronizing
 condescending, smug
 contemptuous, derisive, derogatory,
curt, rude, terse, harsh
 cynical, pessimistic, doubtful,
skeptical
 desolate, despairing, fatalistic,
gloomy, grim, hopeless
 desperate, insecure
 diabolic, psychotic, sinister
 disrespectful, insolent
 disenchanted, disillusioned,
crestfallen, embittered
 disbelieving, incredulous
 embarrassed, self-conscious
 fearful, frightened,
 foreboding, ominous, threatening
 frantic, uncertain, uneasy, impatient
 grave, serious, severe, solemn,
stern,
 holier-than-thou,
 irreverent, mocking, mischievous,
sly, clever
 melancholy, mournful
 paranoid, nervous, suspicious
 pedantic, finicky, (like a know-itall)
 reticent, restrained,
uncommunicative
 sarcastic, sardonic, wry, ironic,
scornful
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Terms to Describe Language: different from tone, language describes the
force or quality of the diction, images, or details












academic,
bookish,
educated ,
scholarly
antiquated,
archaic
artificial, fake
bombastic,
long-winded,
overbearing
casual,
informal,
relaxed
charming,
quaint
clear, simple ,
straightforward,
transparent
coarse, crude,
tasteless, vulgar
colloquial,
folksy,
homespun,
rustic
commonplace,
conventional,
ordinary
concrete, exact
connotative,
suggestive,
evocative

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

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
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conversational,
informal
convoluted,
elaborate,
drawn-out
cultivated,
cultured,
refined,
sophisticated
denotative,
literal
detached, flat
didactic,
instructive,
moralistic
emotional ,
subjective
erudite, learned,
intellectual
esoteric,
obscure, arcane,
pedantic
euphemistic,
suggestive,
manipulative
factual,
informative,
objective
fanciful,
fantastic
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figurative,
symbolic,
metaphorical
formal, proper,
ceremonial
grotesque,
monstrous
hackneyed,
worn-out, tired,
overused
imprecise,
vague
incisive,
perceptive,
penetrating
incongruous,
absurd,
inconsistent
inflated,
exaggerated,
overblown
insipid, dull,
bland, obtuse,
unintelligent
ironic, satiric
jargon (n.),
technical
gobbledygook
lyrical,
melodious,
poetic


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
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mature
moralistic,
righteous
mundane, trite,
pedestrian
orderly, logical
ostentatious,
showy
pompous,
pretentious
plain, practical
picturesque,
sensuous
precise,
particular,
specific
provincial,
dialect (n.),
vernacular (n.)
reasoned,
logical, rational,
lucid
unpolished,
unsophisticated
SYNTAX-BASED RHETORICAL DEVICES
Anacoluthon
 Definition: The term literally means “not following.” It refers to an abrupt change in grammatical or syntactical
structure.
 Effect: Grammatically, anacoluthon is an error, yet in rhetoric it can be used to dramatize a speaker’s passion or
confusion.
 Example: Agreements entered into when one state of facts exists — are they to be maintained regardless of
changing conditions? – John George Deifenbaker
Anadiplosis ***
 Definition: The term literally means “to double back.” It refers to a repetition of the last word of one phrase, clause,
or sentence at or very near the beginning of the next.
 Effect: Can be generated in series to give a sense of logical progression. Generally, it is used for emphasis of the
repeated word or idea, since repetition has a reinforcing effect:
 Examples: Aboard my ship, excellent performance is standard. Standard performance is sub-standard. Sub-standard
performance is not permitted to exist. — Herman Wouk, The Caine Mutiny
Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. — Yoda, Star Wars
Anaphora (antonym – Epistrophe)
 Definition: The term literally means “carrying back.” It refers to the repetition of the same word or words at the
beginning of successive phrases, clauses, or sentences, commonly in conjunction with climax and with parallelism
 Effect: Creates especially strong emphasis and sense of continuity between rhetorical points.
 Example: We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing-grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the
streets, we shall fight in the hills. – Winston Churchill
Anastrophe
 Definition: Word order is reversed or rearranged.
 Effect: Draws emphasis to a different part of the sentence; varies style in order to emphasize
Example: “Unseen in the jungle, but present are tapirs, jaguars, many species of snake and lizard, ocelots,
armadillos, marmosets, howler monkeys, toucans and macaws and a hundred other birds, deer bats, peccaries,
capybaras, agoutis, and sloths.”
Antithesis
 Definition: The term literally means “setting opposite.” It describes the creation of a clear, contrasting relationship
between two ideas by joining them together or juxtaposing them, often in parallel structure.
 Effect: Useful for making relatively fine distinctions or for clarifying differences which might be otherwise
overlooked.
 Example: To err is human; to forgive, divine. – Alexander Pope
Apophasis ***
 Definition: The term literally means “to say no.” It describes a process of inductive reasoning that attempts to
define an object or idea by what it is not rather than by what it is. More commonly, it refers to the rhetorical tactic
of mentioning an idea by denying that it should be mentioned.
 Effect: To make an audience aware of a subject while simultaneously creating distance between the speaker and that
subject if it is dangerous or undesirable.
 Example: We will not bring up the topic of my opponent’s numerous affairs in this discussion.
Apposition ***
 Definition: the placing next to a noun another noun or phrase that explains it
 Effect: draws emphasis; used to help explain, detail, or define a concept
 Example: Pollution, the city’s primary problem, is an issue.
Apostrophe ***
 Definition: The term literally means “turning away.” It refers to an interruption of discourse in order to directly
addresses a personified thing, either present or absent.
 Effect: Its most common purpose in prose is to give vent to or display intense emotion, which can no longer be held
back.
 Example: O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? – 1 Corinthians 15:55

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Asyndeton
 Definition: A deliberate omission of conjunctions between words, phrases, or clauses.
 Effect: To speed up the rhythm of speech; to create the effect of improvisational speech; to make an idea more
memorable.
 Example: I came, I saw, I conquered. – Julius Caesar
Chiasmus ***
 Definition: Named after the Greek letter “chi,” indicating a criss-cross. The term refers to a reversal in the order of
terms in the second of two parallel clauses. This is sometimes described as AB-BA structure.
 Effect: Expresses a truth through complement or contrast in order to provoke thought in the reader.
 Example: Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. – John F. Kennedy
Climax
 Definition: The term comes from the Greek word for “ladder.” It refers to the arrangement of words, clauses, or
sentences in the order of increasing importance, weight, or emphasis. Parallelism usually forms a part of the
arrangement, because it offers a sense of continuity, order, and movement-up the ladder of importance.
 Effect: Creates a sense of tension or grandeur, ultimately placing rhetorical emphasis on the final word, phrase, or
clause.
 Example: I think we’ve reached a point of great decision, not just for our nation, not only for all humanity, but for
life upon the earth. – George Wald
Ellipsis
 Definition: When words are left out of a sentence, but the meaning is understood.
 Effect: To speed up the rhythm of speech; to create the effect of improvisational speech; to make an idea more
memorable.
 Example: My brother took the top bunk, my sister the bottom.
Epanalepsis
 Definition: Refers to the repetition of the first word of a clause or sentence at the end.
 Effect: Creates rhetorical emphasis.
 Example: In the world, ye shall have trials, but be of good cheer—I have overcome the world. –John 16:33
Expletive
 Definition: A single word or short phrase, usually interrupting normal syntax.
 Effect: Generally used to lend emphasis to the words and emotions immediately proximate to the expletive.
 Example: in fact, of course, to be sure, indeed, I suppose, I hope, you know, you see, clearly, in any event, in effect,
certainly, remarkably.
Hypophora ***
 Definition: Consists of raising one or more questions and then proceeding to answer them, usually at some length.
A common usage is to ask the question at the beginning of a paragraph and then use that paragraph to answer it.
 Effect: Allows the speaker to anticipate and answer questions the listener may have; alternatively, allows the
speaker to convince the listener of the importance of questions he/she may have never considered.
 Example: Since we have come so far, whom shall be rash enough to set limits on our future progress? Who shall
say that since we have gone so far, we can go no farther? Who shall say that the American dream is ended? For
myself, I believe that all we have done upon this continent is but a prelude to a future in which we shall become not
only a bigger people but also a wiser people, a better people, an even greater people. – Adlai Stevenson
Litotes
 Definition: A particular form of understatement generated by denying the opposite or contrary of the word which
otherwise would be used.
 Effect: Depending on the tone and context of the usage, litotes either retains the effect of understatement, or
becomes an intensifying expression.
 Example: And truly, their suffering was not small. – William Bradford
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Parallelism
 Definition: The term describes any structure that displays recurrent syntactical similarity.
 Effect: Several parts of a sentence or several sentences are developed and phrased similarly to show that the ideas in
the parts or sentences are equal in importance. Parallelism also adds balance and rhythm and, most importantly,
clarity to the sentence.
 Example: The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessing; the inherent virtue of socialism is the
equal sharing of miseries.
Parenthesis
 Definition: This term refers to the insertion of a word, phrase, or whole sentence as an aside in the middle of
another sentence. Parenthesis can be circumscribed either by dashes--they are more dramatic and forceful--or by
parentheses (to make the aside less stringent).
 Effect: The violence involved in jumping into (or out of) the middle of a sentence to address the reader momentarily
about something has a pronounced effect. This device creates the effect of extemporaneity and immediacy.
Pleonasm
 Definition: This term refers to the use of more words than required to express an idea; being redundant.
 Effect: Generally this is a syntactical error, but it is done on purpose on rare occasions for emphasis:
 Example: This was the most unkindest cut of all. – Shakespeare, Julius Caesar
Polysyndeton
 Definition: The use of a conjunction between each word, phrase, or clause; structurally the opposite of asyndeton.
 Effect: The rhetorical effect of polysyndeton is one of multiplicity, energetic enumeration, and building up.
 Example: And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle,
and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only
remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark. – Genesis 7:22-24
Procatalepsis
 Definition: This term refers to the rhetorical act of anticipating an objection and answering it
 Effect: This tactic permits an argument to continue moving forward while taking into account points or reasons
opposing either the train of thought or its final conclusions.
 Example: It is again objected as a very absurd ridiculous Custom,… But this Objection is I think, a little unworthy
so refined an Age as ours. Let us argue this Matter calmly… -- Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal
Zeugma
 Definition: This term refers to a grammatically correct linkage (or yoking together) of two or more parts of speech
by another part of speech. Examples of zeugmatic usage would include one subject with two (or more) verbs, a verb
with two (or more) direct objects, two (or more) subjects with one verb, and so forth.
 Effect: The main benefit of the linking is that it shows relationships between ideas and actions more clearly. The
technique is often used to promote satiric effect.
 Example: You held your breath and the door for me. – Alanis Morrisette
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SOURCES USED WHEN PREPARING THIS ACADEMIC WRITING
GUIDE
Ideas included in this writing guide were inspired by the works cited below.
Works Cited
Degen, Michael. Crafting Expository Argument. Dallas, TX: Telemachos Publishing, 2000. Print.
Graff, Gerald, and Cathy Birkenstein. They Say, I Say: The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing.
New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2010. Print.
Hansen, Victor Davis. "Looking Back at Iraq." NationalReview.com. National Review, 2006. Web. 26
April 2006.
MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers: Seventh Edition. Modern Language Association. New
York: The Modern Language Association of America, 2009. Print.
"Sample Essays, Score 6." ACT.org. 2011. Web. 1 August 2011.
Spandel, Vicki. Creating Writers. NewYork: Addison Wesley Longman, Inc., 2001. Print. "Student
Sample, Grade Nine, Argument: The True Meaning of Friendship." English Language
Arts Appendix C. CoreStandards.org. 2010. Web. 1 August 2011. AcademicOneFile:
57.
Tempe Preparatory Academy. TPA Style Guide. Tempeprep.org. 1996. Web. 1 August 2011.
"The Toulmin Model of Argumentation." SDSU. San Diego State University. Web. 1 August 2011.
<www-rohan.sdsu.edu/~digger/305/toulmin_model.htm>.
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