Download Writing Research

Writing Research
Session 1: reader-centred writing, basic skills and editing
Part of Celebrating Research
month at JCU
Convenor: Liz Tynan
JCU Graduate Research School
13 September 2011
Some opening thoughts

“I do not like to write - I
like to have written.”
American writer Gloria Steinem

“…a horrible, exhausting
struggle, like a long bout of
some painful illness.”
English writer George Orwell
Data gathering is only half the story

Bad writing can slow down
or prevent the publication
of good research.

Researchers can gather
excellent data but unless
that data can be turned
into good writing, its
importance can be lost.
Darwin didn’t like writing either
 …a
naturalist’s
life would be a
happy one if he
only had to
observe and
never to write.
Charles Darwin
(Fortunately he did get around to
doing some writing, however)
The guiding principle of clarity 1

Clarity relies upon a robust understanding of the
rules and conventions of English expression.

Clear, grammatical and well-punctuated
sentences transmit thought to the audience
without confusion.

Every sentence carries the possibility both
of clear communication & of serious
misunderstanding.

Clarity needs strong writing and editing skills.

Editing holds each word, phrase, clause, sentence
and paragraph to the flame.
The guiding principle of clarity 2

Another consequence of the iron rule of
clarity is that you have to be exactly clear
what you want to say.

Ensure this inner understanding by
beginning writing earlier rather than later
in the process.

Clarity comes from moving words around
both in your head and on the page.
The guiding principle of clarity 3

Question lazy but pervasive
habits, such as overuse of
jargon and hackneyed
expressions.

Readers respond to fresh
expression.

New ideas demand fresh
writing, and fresh writing aids
clarity.
Sentences that fail the clarity test

A large mass of literature has accumulated on the cell walls
of staphylococci.

The resulting disease has been described in detail in
salmon.

This book includes discussion of shock and renal failure in
separate chapters.

[Professor Colin Woolf] presented evidence that women
who smoke are likely to have pulmonary abnormalities and
impaired lung function at the annual meeting of the
American Lung Association.
(Examples from Robert A Day, How to Write and Publish a Scientific Paper, fifth edition,
Oryx Press, Westport, 1998, p. 203.)
The reader-centred approach

Detach yourself from your work to
empathise with your readers.

Imagine one individual and write for
that person.

It is your job to make the meaning
clear, not the reader’s job to interpret
meaning.

The reader is the most important
person in this communication
transaction.

“What is written without effort is in
general read without pleasure.”

Samuel Johnson
What academic readers want

A clear summary at the beginning (the abstract)

An introduction and conclusion to match

Clear definitions of terms

Clearly presented evidence and reasoning

Concise writing

Concrete, not abstract, writing

No jargon, circumlocution, tautology or clichés

Good use of English: grammar, spelling,
punctuation and style
Grammar

Good English usage is essential for good
research writing.

You can’t fully control your writing without
understanding the basic logic and
technicalities of language.
Parts of speech

Noun

Adjective

Verb

Adverb

Preposition

Pronoun

Conjunction

Interjection

Plus their equivalents: adjectival phrase,
adverbial clause, etc
Numbers, cases, voices, persons and moods

Two “numbers”: singular and plural;

Five “cases”: particularly subject
(nominative), object (accusative) and
possessive (genitive);

Three “persons”: first, second & third;

Two “voices”: active and passive;

Five “moods”: indicative (or declarative),
subjunctive (or optative), imperative,
interrogative and infinitive.
…and tenses

English verbs have 15
“tenses”.

The large number of verbal
tenses ensures that nuanced
action can be reported in
sentences.

Today we will only consider
the basics of past, present
and future.
Nouns and their cases

All the cases relate to nouns and their
relative position in a sentence.

When a noun is in the nominative case it is
the subject of the sentence.

Placing the grammatical subject at the start
ensures the most efficient information
delivery system.

Begin your sentences with strong key words
and not strings of dead words.
Pronouns

Pronouns such as I, we, it, him, her, their,
this and many others are useful for
making the language flow more smoothly.

The noun to which a pronoun refers is
known as its antecedent.
Floating pronouns

Problems arise when pronouns float around
without an obvious antecedent, which is why it
may be unwise to use them to start a sentence.

Consider this example:

The rise in the dollar has been marked by
reduced exports in the cattle industry. This
has worried some economists.

Does this say that the rise in the dollar or the
reduced exports have worried economists?
Verbs and tenses

The finite verb shows whether the action
is taking place in the past, present or
future.

Sentences can only be animated by finite
verbs.

No English sentence, at least in three of
the four moods, can properly exist without
at least one noun and one verb, in direct
relationship to each other.
Verbs of many tenses

wrote [past]

writes [present]

will write [future]

he had written (past perfect)

he is writing (present continuous)

he will be writing (future continuous)
Consistency of tense

Changing tenses randomly is annoying for
the reader and may be confusing.

Have a firm of idea of what the dominant
tense in the piece of writing should be.

Some academic papers are in the past
tense, some are in the present and some
dabble in the future tense.

Aim for consistency.
Classic declarative sentence

The classical sentence construction is
“subject-verb-object”, often shortened to
SVO. For example:

“Annette writes the paper.”

The verb connects the topic of sentence,
Annette, to the thing being acted upon, the
object, also known as the predicate, or
comment, or “accusative case”.

In this sentence, the object is “the paper”.
Efficient delivery system

The SVO sentence is the
essential information
delivery system in English.

The logical simplicity of the
SVO sentence allows
simple but powerful prose.
Verb power

To be correct, sentences have to be
powered by a finite verb.

In our SVO example, the finite verb is
“writes”.

It can be changed to indicate past,
present or future tense: wrote, writes,
will write.
A common error

A common error is attempting to use the
word “being” as the driving force of the
sentence.

This construction is wrong:

This being the ideal environment for
coral.
Fixing the error

The word “being” is not be able to create
an SVO sentence.

It can become be grammatical if it is part
of a bigger sentence:

The seawater around the reef is
pristine, this being the ideal
environment for coral.
Other ways to fix it

Another way would be to change the verb
to something suitable. For example:

This is the ideal environment for coral.

Even better, considering the need to
emphasise the grammatical subject, to
avoid a floating pronoun and to provide the
extra information would be:

Coral grows best in pristine seawater.
More complicated sentences

Complex sentences: a main clause and
attached sub-ordinate clause/s

Compound sentences: contains clauses
of equal grammatical status.

Limit your sentences to no more than two
or three clauses.

If your sentence has six clauses, you will
have to restructure it.
Complex sentences

Subordinate clauses are joined to the
main clause either by a conjunction or by
a semi-colon:

“The Prime Minister yesterday
announced a sweeping review of the
1992 Broadcasting Act, though it was
unlikely to reform the sector.”
Compound sentences

“The Prime Minister yesterday announced
a sweeping review of the 1992
Broadcasting Act and the Communications
Minister established an enquiry into the
commercial radio sector.”

In this case both clauses can stand alone
grammatically, once you remove the “and”.

This can’t happen with the subordinate clause.
Subject-verb agreement

The subject of a sentence must “agree” with the
finite verb of the sentence.

Singular subject = singular verb

Plural subject = plural verb.

The lawyer discusses her strategy.

…and not:

The lawyer discuss her strategy.

Most people with a reasonable grasp of English
will have no problem understanding SV
agreement here.
Less clear-cut S-V agreement

What happens when the sentence is less
clear-cut? Consider these sentences:

The bittersweet flavour of youth – its trials,
its joys, its adventures, its challenges – are
not soon forgotten.

OR

The bittersweet flavour of youth – its trials,
its joys, its adventures, its challenges – is
not soon forgotten.
Active and passive voice

“Annette writes the paper”: active voice, because
it follows the SVO construction.

“The paper is written by Annette”: passive
voice.

What was the object now starts the sentence.

The former subject (Annette) is now called the
agent – “by Annette”.

You must add in a new word to the verb, in this
case “is”, to preserve the original meaning. The
original verb also changes, from writes to written.
Sometimes passive voice is necessary

Passive voice guarantees a more wordy sentence:
passive verbs are always at least two words.

But you can’t always avoid passive voice.

It may be necessary if the active subject is
unknown or not easily stated:

“Walter’s father was killed in the Second World
War”.

In this case, there can be no “agent” because we
don’t have enough information to be able to say
who carried out the action of the sentence.
It can be used to conceal

Sometimes, even when the “agent” is known, it is not
stated. Passive voice can be used to distance the writer
from the reader and from responsibility for the action in the
sentence. For example:

“The hospital beds have been shut down.”

No agent stated, so no-one has responsibility. Maybe the
sentence could correctly be rendered as:

“The hospital beds have been shut down by the
Health Department.”

…in which case it could be rewritten in active voice as:

“The Health Department shut down the hospital
beds.”
How can you tell what the voice is?

You can usually identify a
passive voice sentence if it
has a compound verb like
“was written” and if the word
“by” is used to indicate the
passive agent.

However, in sentences where
the subject is not known or
where the agent is being
concealed the word “by” is
not used.
Distorted passive

1. Acid-etching removed the rust. Active voice acceptable

2. The rust was removed by acid etching.
Passive voice - acceptable

3. Removal of the rust was facilitated by acidetching. DP - unacceptable

The problem with sentence 3 is that the real verb
that shows the action (remove) is lost in a weak
noun (removal), so another verb must be
supplied.
Rewriting distorted passive

Check for a weak verb such as facilitated,
undertaken etc.

Find the hidden verb earlier in the
sentence (in our example it was “remove”
from the noun removal).

Use this hidden verb as a direct verb in
the sentence.
Apostrophes
Apostrophes are used:

To indicate contraction: “It’s
[It is] a pity that people don’t
[do not] care about
apostrophes.”

To show possession (in
nouns, not pronouns): “The
editor’s lament” for singular;
“The editors’ lament” for
plural.
Beware the greengrocers’ apostrophe

Apple’s, pear’s, avocado’s
The iron rule

Simple plurals never need an
apostrophe.

Look at a word and see whether it is a
contraction or a possessive and then apply
the apostrophe accordingly.

If the word is neither of these things, do
not use an apostrophe.
Grrrr

Also common is leaving out apostrophes when
they are clearly needed, such as:

The prawns whiskers
The projects results
The managers decisions.


They must be edited to the correct versions:



The prawn’s whiskers/The prawns’ whiskers
The project’s results/The projects’ results
The manager’s decisions/The managers’ decisions
Not needed here

Modern Australian style dictates that you
do not use an apostrophe in, for example,
the 1970s or to show the plural of
acronyms such as QCs or MPs.

Here, just a lower case “s” is sufficient and
it keeps it simple and elegant.
Possessive apostrophes

Possessive pronouns such as its, his, hers,
ours, theirs, yours never have an
apostrophe.

In “The cat chased its tail” the
possessive pronoun “its” does not have an
apostrophe.

Consider whether the word “its” is a
contraction, in which case it must have an
apostrophe, or whether it is possessive, in
which case there is no apostrophe.
Commas

Commas are used to separate
ideas in a sentence and to
otherwise make meaning clear.

They provide natural pauses
within a sentence, to regulate
rhythm in ways that assist
meaning.
Commas can make meaning

The trend in standard Australian English is
to cut down on commas where possible.

However, commas can change the
meaning of a sentence:

The politicians, who liked to talk, were
appointed to the committee.

The politicians who liked to talk were
appointed to the committee.
Rules of comma use
To avoid ambiguity:
 “When the father finished washing, the children went to the
beach.”
Between adjectives before a noun:
 A large, black van.
In a list to separate the elements:
 The basic stages of writing an article are: outlining,
researching, drafting, checking and confirming facts,
redrafting and editing.
To distinguish parenthetical words and phrases:
 My view, therefore, is that editors should always be
consistent.
Parenthetical commas

Pay special attention to parenthetical words
and phrases.

Commas must always be used in pairs in
this case. You cannot open such a phrase
with a comma and not close it.

In “My view, therefore, is that editors
should always be consistent”, not
placing the second comma after “therefore”
would be grammatically incorrect.
Do you need a pair of commas?

See if the word or phrase could be taken
out without damaging the grammatical
integrity of the sentence.

If it can be taken out, then you must use
two commas around it.
No comma between S and V

You must not let a comma stand between
a grammatical subject and its verb:

“A grammatical subject links strongly to
its verb.”

Do not write:

“A grammatical subject, links strongly to
its verb.”
A small complication…

The complication arises when you are inserting a
descriptive phrase:

“The woman, who was increasingly
impatient, waited in line.”

The grammatical subject, “the woman” does have
a comma after it.

The commas enclose a parenthetical phrase that
could be taken out without disrupting the
grammar of the sentence
Commas after linking devices











Similarly,
On the other hand,
In conclusion,
Therefore,
In fact,
That is,
More importantly,
Namely,
Of course,
Furthermore,
Put simply,
Semi-colons

The semi-colon substitutes for
a conjunction, as well as
separating elements of a list.

It is not interchangeable
with commas.

“Mary Shelley’s works are
entertaining; they are full of
engaging ideas.”

Here the semi-colon is taking
the place of a conjunction such
as “because”.
A related function

They can be used to separate two thoughts in a
compound sentence. For example:

“They failed to convince the jury; however,
the judge issued a suspended sentence.”

Another way of expressing this information would
be in two separate sentences.

However, wanting the two facts to be placed
together in a sentence is legitimate and this is
the way to do it. Don’t use a comma.
Colons

A colon informs the reader that what follows
proves and explains, or simply provides elements
of, what is referred to before:

“The system is designed to be foolproof: a
user cannot access the system without three
different user names and five passwords.”

The material after the colon explains how the
system is foolproof, providing back-up to the first
part of the sentence.
Quotation marks (inverted commas)

Consistency is important.

Stick with either single or double marks
throughout your academic paper.

Familiarise yourself with the style guides of
the journals you write for.

Some insist on single quote marks, others
on double quote marks.

Don’t mix them randomly in the same
sentence.
Quotes within quotes

She said, “I think Lynne Truss is right
when she says ‘It’s tough being a stickler
for punctuation these days’.”

Note that the quote within a quote is
completed inside the sentence, so you
close that quote before you close the
larger quote.
Editing mindstates

These are the varied forms of focus that
enable you to do effective edits.

They involve a lofty view of the big
picture: the whole meaning, the logic and
structure of the piece.

You then switch to a different state to
investigate the fine detail, looking at each
word individually.
Stage 1: substance

Review the whole document to examine
substance.

Read through as though you are new to
the topic and ask yourself at the end what
you have obtained from the writing.

Ensure that the concept is correctly and
logically in place and that the piece of
writing works to honour its intentions.
Your overall aim

You are looking for cohesion, context and
depth.

Does the whole document actually make sense?

Do the individual sections make sense?

Does the reader know more at the end of the
document than at the start?

Have the stated intentions of the piece been
fulfilled?

Were you left with nagging unanswered questions
at the end?
Stage 2: structure

The structure edit examines logical flow.

Ensure that the introduction provides a
roadmap to the whole document.

Ensure that the sections exhibit a logical
structure that aids the argument and that
the reader can follow easily.

Think about what the reader needs to
know and expects from the document.
Editing for structure

An effectively written piece has coherency,
internal logic and argument.

Logic and intellectual sophistication come
from good editing.

You will see new patterns of information as
you carry out a deep edit.

Broad statements of theme should be set at
the beginning, after which the document
elaborates in a sensible order, from the
general to the particular to the synthesis.
Eliminate repetition

The structure edit also involves tracking
down and eliminating needless repetition.

While there is a place for repeating points,
just absently saying the same thing again
has to go.

A good structure is streamlined and
lean.
Stage 3: language pedantry

The next editing state of mind is the
word-by-word read.

Think about each word, each phrase, each
clause and each sentence.

Ensure that each word is fulfilling its
grammatical function.
Look for:

Subject-verb agreement

Correct use of pronouns, including care
with pronoun antecedents and ensuring
there are no “floating” pronouns

Correct use of prepositions

Correct use of verbs

Elimination of dangling or hanging
modifiers
Avoid using nouns instead of verbs

Using nouns instead of verbs can be longwinded. For example:

“The factory will begin production of more
engines next year.”

Make this stronger and simpler:

“The factory will produce more engines
from next year.”
More examples






X: Territory size was found to vary with
population density.
√: Territory size varied with population density.
X: The typhoon had the effect of a destructive
force on the manufacturing industry.
√: The typhoon destroyed the manufacturing
industry.
X: The data provided supporting evidence for the
results of Jones et al.
√: The data supported Jones et al.’s results.
Eliminate redundancies

all of

all-time record

at this moment in time

both shared

completely full

completely destroyed

consensus of opinion

early pioneer

first origins

for him personally

future plans

general consensus

in actual fact
•including for example
•estimated at about
•final outcome
•essential condition
•integrated together
•join together
•living memory
•long period of time
•original source
•past history
•4pm in the afternoon
•blue in colour
•four hectares of land
•new innovation
Flabby vs slim

















Flabby
a large portion
a number of
behind schedule
filled to capacity
gained entrance to
in addition to
in close proximity
in excess of
in order to
in short supply
in spite of the fact
in the near future
made an approach to
owing to the fact that
previous to
the majority of
Slim
much
many, several
late
full
got in
also, too, and, besides, as well
near
more than
to
scarce
though/although
soon
approached
since or because
before
most
Abstract vs concrete

Abstract: Prosthetics have advanced
beyond mere substitution to the ability to
restore function.

Concrete: Prosthetics have advanced
beyond wooden legs and glass eyes to
new devices, such as cochlea implants for
the ears, which restore the patient’s use
of the missing or defective body part.
A closing thought for now…
A
writer is unfair
to himself when
he is unable to be
hard on himself.
American writer Marianne Moore