Download LANGUAGE GUIDELINES FOR WRITING LAB REPORTS in

LANGUAGE GUIDELINES FOR WRITING LAB REPORTS in CE 328
For the CE 328 Laboratory, we will add three more tools:
Tool 9. Use pronouns correctly
Tool 10. Avoid usage errors
Tool 11. Limit sentence length to 30 words
Tool 12. Combine these sentence tools to form robust paragraphs
For additional information, examples, and “self tests” on writing correct sentences, refer to the
Self-Study modules in CTC’s website, www.ctc.buffalo.edu under “resources”. Also, consult the
small, excellent book, “The Elements of Style”, by W. Strunk Jr. and E.B. White, 4th edition, Allyn
and Bacon, 2000.
Now we’ll study each tool more closely.
TOOL 9: USE PRONOUNS CORRECTLY
First, let’s do a short quiz. Fill in the correct pronoun in the following sentences:
a. Bob gave the book to Nancy and
(I or me),
b. The professor gave the assignment to
(she or her, and I or me).
c. The students submitted the homework to you and
(I or me).
d. Students in CE 328 received awards from you and (him or he).
e. Mary gave
(he or him) her data from the experiment.
To understand the answers to the quiz, we’ll first briefly review our initial discussion of pronouns
in Tool 4A.
The PRONOUN, literally defined as “instead” of the noun”, PRO / NOUN, has several forms:
personal, impersonal, demonstrative, relative, possessive. Here we will mainly consider the first
three forms.
- Personal – As subjects, these pronouns include: I, you, she, he in the singular; and we,
you, they in the plural. Another property of pronouns, “person”, is a key factor in
determining SUBJECT/VERB agreement.
- Impersonal – These pronouns, mainly “it” and “one”, are in the singular.
- Demonstrative – Pronouns in this category include mainly “this” in the singular and “these”
in the plural.
Table 1 on page 2 summarizes these pronoun properties.
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Table 1: Pronoun properties
Personal
Number
Person pronoun
Singular
1st
I
2nd
rd
Plural
you
3
he , she
1st
we
nd
2
3rd
Impersonal Demonstrative
it, one
you
they
this
these
In that discussion, we focused mainly on pronouns as the subject of the sentence. Then, we
focused on subject-verb relationships.
Now we need to consider pronouns as the object of the sentence , starting with…
…PERSONAL PRONOUNS
Structures or forms
Our initial discussion of language covered six basic sentence structures. The first structure was
the simplest:
1. S
+V
+ [O]
Subject + Verb + Object
for example:
The student sang.
The student sang
a song.
S
+V
+ [O]
Notice that BOTH these sentences are COMPLETE. The first has only a noun-subject and a
verb. But, in the second sentence, the verb is followed by a noun-“OBJECT” – i.e., a word that
answers the verb’s question, “what?” Thus we see that the same nouns could be subjects or
objects.
However, when we use personal pronouns, we notice that most of them CHANGE FORM when
they change from subject to object. Only the pronoun “you” remains the same. See Table 2 on
page 3.
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Table 2: Changes in personal pronoun forms and properties
Number
Person Subject
Object
st
Singular
1
I
me
2nd
you
you
3
he , she
him, her
1st
we
us
you
they
you
them
rd
Plural
nd
2
3rd
Functions
However, though the subject always relates to a verb, the object can relate to either a verb or a
preposition. This difference in form is often referred to as “case”—the “subjective case”, and the
“objective case”.
For example:
1, I gave the baby to his mother. The noun “baby” is the object of the verb “gave”.
2. I put him in the carriage.
The pronoun “him” is the object of the verb “put”.
But we also have pronouns that are the “objects” of a preposition.
For example:
3. I gave the baby to her.
The pronoun “her” is the object of the preposition “to”. Other typical
prepositions are: for, by, from, with, before – words that direct our attention to time, place, or
transfer.
This “object-of-a-preposition” case-rule applies to both single and multiple pronouns.
For example:
4. They gave the book to you and me.
If we reversed the sentence, we would also reverse the “case” of the pronouns:
For example:
5. You and I received the book from them.
In addition, we can differentiate between a direct and an indirect object.
For example, we can alter example 3 above to read:
6. I gave her the baby. Here, “the baby” is the direct object of “gave”. The word “her” is the
indirect object, placed be fore the direct object. Placing the indirect object
in this position
enables us to delete the word “to” in sentence 3.
Notice that the “object” in a sentence usually answers the verb’s or preposition’s question: “what”
or “whom”.
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IMPERSONAL AND DEMONSTRATIVE PRONOUNS
Table 1 on page 2 highlights the main impersonal pronouns, it and one, and the main
demonstrative pronouns, this and these.
First, we’ll examine the impersonal pronouns, “it” and “one”.
IT can assume four structures and functions:
1. “It” as the subject or object of a sentence – e.g. it came with an instruction book (subject).
OR, I gave it to you (object).
2. “It” as in “idiomatic it” – e.g., it is estimated that…
3. “Its” = the possessive version of “it”. E.g., Its usefulness is questionable.
4. “It’s” = the abbreviation of “it is”. E.g., It’s cold outside.
Each of these structures (or forms) of it need careful attention so they can function properly – and
help readers grasp information rapidly.
1. “Regular it” always refers to a PREVIOUS word, phrase, or reasoning sequence.
Thus, you must make sure this previous referral is ABSOLUTELY clear.
For example:
“The experiment scale arrived yesterday. It came with an instruction book. I left it in your
office. Its usefulness is questionable.”
Here, the “it” in the second sentence clearly refers to the word “scale” in the previous sentence.
However, the “it” in the third sentence COULD REFER to either the “scale” in sentence 1, or the
“instruction book” in sentence 2.
Such ambiguity is unacceptable. Technically, we assume the “it” refers to the CLOSEST
PREVIOUS NOUN – i.e., “the instruction book”. In fact, however, the writer was referring to the
“scale”.
Then, our dilemma grows: in the 4th sentence, what does “its” refer to? the scale? the instruction
book? or your office (the technically correct “prior noun”, often called the “antecedent”)?
But watch out for ludicrous mistakes such as...
“When the baby is done drinking, it must be unscrewed and laid under a faucet. If it
does not thrive on fresh milk, it must be boiled”.
2. For “idiomatic it”, see the discussion in editorial Tool 3.
3. Note that the “its”, the possessive form, does NOT have an apostrophe – unlike the normal
possessive forms of nouns.
For example: we can correctly write – “the student’s notebook” (in the singular). OR,
-- “the students’ grades” (in the plural)
Thus, the possessive form, “its”, is counter-intuitive.
But students are often very creative! In addition to often writing “it’s”, people try to get around this
“doesn’t feel right” intuition by writing” its’ “ (as in the plural nouns’ use of apostrophes).
WRONG !!!
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4. On the other hand, “it’s” is a perfectly correct way to ABBREVIATE “IT IS”. Just remember:
“it’s” has no other function.
ONE is an impersonal pronoun you should avoid. True, “one” has the advantage of representing
either “he” or “she”. However “one” has a greater disadvantage in technical writing BECAUSE
“ONE” IS ALSO A NUMBER.
THEREFORE, using “one” as a pronoun violates our “word choice” rule: don’t select words with
more than one meaning. Because we frequently need to use numbers in technical documents
and presentations, we should save “one” for numerical use.
Thus, for example, instead of writing:
One can assume that x = ………………………
…choose a different word as the subject:
We can assume that……………………..
OR, you, they, the author, the reader….. can assume that…..
Demonstrative pronouns
Here we’ll focus particularly on “this”.
The reason: the wholesale use of the word “this” – STANDING ALONE, by itself.
For example: A long descriptive paragraph about an experiment might end with -“This shows that the equipment doesn’t function right.”
As with “it”, we need to know clearly: What does “this” refer to? the method for operating the
equipment? the data from an experiment using this equipment? a mathematical analysis? the
reasoning leading to the conclusions derived from the experiment results?
THUS, our conclusion is: Do NOT use the demonstrative pronoun “this” by itself. Instead,
use the demonstrative “this” as an adjective – a descriptor. Remember to ask yourself: THIS
WHAT?
For example: to clarify the previous sample sentence, we could write:
“This data set shows that the equipment was not functioning consistently.”
OR
“This statistical analysis leads us to conclude that…”
The second sentence also has the advantage of ACCOUNTABILITY: it says WHO is concluding
on WHAT basis.
TIP: As you read the newspapers or other students’ reports (as well as your own!) notice how
frequently “standalone” this appears.
TOOL 10: AVOID USAGE ERRORS
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Both in school and in the workplace, your professors and employers expect you to employ
accepted, correct English – WITHOUT errors in usage – in words and spelling. This tool is not
merely a question of word”choice” but of word “accuracy”.
Although the spellchecker is a useful start for error detection, students (and practicing engineers)
often rely on the spellchecker to proofread a document or presentation. This reliance is mistaken
because the spellchecker does not usually catch errors in usage!
Here is a short list of frequent usage-errors we find in students’ assignments: often these
mistakes consist of a similar sounding word, or a word with the same letters in a different
arrangement.
Instead of…
Do to
Steal
Affect
Form
Alternate
Summery
Alternate
Irregardless
Principal
You may mean…
Due to
Steel
Effect
From
Alternative
Summary
Alternative
Regardless
Principle
Note also that these plural “foreign” words have a different singular form:
Plural
Singular
Data
Datum
Bacteria
Bacterium
Phenomena
Phenomenon
Media
Medium
Criteria
Criterion
Other common errors include:
Omitting the articles “a” and “the”
Using “i.e.” instead of “e.g.”
Confusing Literary and Literature
Proper use of homophones, e.g.:
There, they’re, and their
Your, you’re
Two, to, and too
To avoid these errors, take the following steps:
1. Look up these word-sets in the dictionary
2. Keep a list with the definitions and explanations
3. Add typical usage errors to this list as you come upon them
4. If you are unsure of a word’s meaning or of an expression, consult a dictionary or thesaurus
5. Use the self-study modules in CTC’s (the Center for Technical Communication)
website: www.ctc.buffalo.edu -- under “resources
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TOOL 11. LIMIT SENTENCE LENGTH TO 30 WORDS
Use all the editorial tools we have covered to reduce long sentences to this approximate limit.*
Tool 1: Construct complete, efficiently structured, readily grasped sentences
Tool 2: Avoid “clutter” words, e.g., delete unnecessary words
Tool 3: Ensure accountability: a) avoid “idiomatic it”
Tool 4: Match subjects and verbs: Use subjects correctly; use verbs accurately
Tool 5: Use “AND” correctly … and minimally: e.g., break sentences in two (or three)
Tool 6: Strongly prefer the accountable “active” over the weak, passive voice
Tool 7: Choose precise words
Tool 8: Put the precise word in the right place in the sentence
Tool 9: Use pronouns correctly
Tool 10: Avoid usage errors
Tool 11: Limit sentence length to 30 words*
For example, review the next 62-word sentence that a practicing engineer wrote:
“Once promising opportunities for process modifications have been identified, obtain bids from
several equipment manufacturers (or on-site or off-site equipment modifiers) and several process
or material suppliers (if specific processes or materials are involved) giving costs and timeframes
involved, so that one can use these data in making final decisions regarding the desirability of
carrying out process modifications on selected operations.” – 62 words in one sentence!
Note how hard it is to understand the point the author is trying to convey.
What would YOU do?
Here are some tools YOU can already use to reduce sentence length:
- Delete unneeded words
- Use strong, active, action verbs instead of long nouns and weak, passive verbs
- Delete over-detailed parenthetical inserts
- Delete the pronoun “one”
- Cut the sentence in two
One editor’s version follows:
“After identifying promising opportunities for process modifications, obtain time and cost
bids from several equipment manufacturers or modifiers, and from several process or
materials suppliers. Using the bid data, decide which, if any, processes to modify. “
2 sentences of 25 and 10 words. 35 words in total = a 45 % reduction in word-count.
* Research on reading comprehension has shown a direct correlation (called the Fogg Index)
between the number of words and syllables in a sentence and the grade-level readers need to
comprehend the sentence. Thus, readers need to have at least a 12th grade education to read a
complex, 30-word sentence. For 8th grade level reading comprehension, sentence length
decreases to about 20 words. Interestingly many newspapers aim their reporting for
6th grade-level readers.
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Now, consider two questions:
- What percent-improvement in ease-of-grasp does the edited version have?
- Could you shorten this sentence even more – without seriously changing the meaning?
However, if your sentence has several relevant inclusions that swell the word count, consider
using bullets.
For example:
“The industrial accident occurred for several reasons:
§ Maintaining high room-temperatures
§ Bending to reach packages
§ Lifting heavy boxes onto the conveyor belt
§ Running the conveyor belt too fast
§ Fatiguing the operators’ muscles”.
But, because all these bulleted points are additive, they must also be PARALLEL. In this
example, each point starts with a “present participle” (a verb-form ending in “ing” –
see Tools 7 and 8).
NOTE: For CE 328, you will be responsible for learning and applying Tools 1 to 11. However, to
use these tools productively, please review the previous Tools we have covered, and the section
on Strategy in your previous notes.
*****
TOOL 12: USE ALL THE SENTENCE TOOLS TO WRITE STRONG PARAGRAPHS
Next semester we will continue with TOOL 12. This tool will focus on integrating all the sentence
TOOLS into clear, concise, easy-to-grasp paragraphs that convey accurate and useful
information to your audience.
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