Download Silent Samaritan newsletter Volume 1, Issue 2

THE CENTER, A
SAMARITAN CENTER •
SILENT SAMARITAN
NEWSLETTER
Women of
Strength
V O L U M E
1 ,
I S S U E
2
A U G U S T
2 0 0 9
Women in Need
INSIDE
THIS ISSUE:
Brunch
1
Donor
Spotlight
2
Counselor
Spotlight
2
Depression
3
My
Journey
3
Charter mem- 4
bers
Last Silent
Samaritan Brunch at
Karen Graves’ home
This issue of Women of Strength focuses on Depression. There are many forms and
treatments for depression. On page two you will meet a Silent Samaritan who started a
support group for women suffering from post-partum depression. On page three, you
can read the story of a “Women in Need” suffering from depression and anxiety written
in her own words. Her name is excluded from the article to protect her privacy. You
will also find an informational section written by a staff psychologist. On the back there
is a list of the Charter Members of Silent Samaritans. With a generous challenge grant
from the Messick Charitable Trust, 87 memberships were donated within the first
month. These Women of Strength have helped fund over 300 sessions with a licensed
therapist for Women in Need. It is not too late to become a charter member. By
donating a membership in 2009, you can be included in our Charter Membership list. If
you know a Women of Strength, recommend Silent Samaritans to them. Charter
members will receive special recognition on our annual list of Silent Samaritans.
Silent Samaritan Brunch
Many people who want to donate to an organization are inundated with requests to
attend this or that fundraising event – a luncheon, or dinner, or golf tournament, or
auction. Silent Samaritans is different: To make a contribution, you don’t have to
attend a fundraising event! This is not to downplay the significance of educational and
awareness-building socials for Silent Samaritans. If you choose to come to one of our
brunches you will not be asked to give, but to learn more about The CENTER, about
women’s issues, and about counseling. It is also a great opportunity to meet and talk to
other Silent Samaritans.
Mignon DeShon and Karen Foley have graciously
volunteered to host the next Silent Samaritan Brunch on
September 26th at 10:30am. The event will take place
at the DeShon home at 2810 Ashland Ave. One of The
CENTER’s therapists will speak about the warning signs
and treatment of depression. If you are interested in
attending this educational brunch and meet other
members of Silent Samaritans, please RSVP to
[email protected] by September 18th.
If you are interested in hosting a Silent Samaritan
Brunch, please contact Jennifer Rhoad at 816-383-3150
or [email protected]
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2
Silent Samaritan Spotlight
Suzanne Kissock saw a need for a postpartum depression group
No one was more surprised than me on that sunny day in the summer of
2004 when I brought my beautiful baby girl home from the hospital.
Instead of experiencing joy and bliss I had crippling anxiety and
overwhelming fear. Fear that I was inadequate to be the mother that this
angel deserved, fear that I would be asleep when she needed me most,
fear that I would make mistakes that would scar her for life, fear that I
could not go on without her, the list went on and on. I knew how to
provide care for an infant and I knew that images of motherhood in the
media were not accurate but rational thinking was not in control.
Nothing I was feeling made any sense.
Suzanne with her daughter Mary
WOMEN
OF
STRENGTH
The first step in my journey was to reach out and admit how I was feeling to
those around me. There is no doubt there was a strong desire to pretend
everything was fine for the sake of preserving the image that I longed for and for fear
I would be judged by others. Fortunately, my husband provided a safe and supportive
place for me to be honest. The second was to shatter the preconceived notions I had
about motherhood and to embrace reality. This step did not occur without my
husband and an army of angels. My army was made up of women who provided
unconditional and nonjudgmental support. These wonderful women included family,
friends, some strangers, and an amazingly supportive obstetrician. They called often
to see how I was, brought food, stopped by to hold the baby while I showered,
provided tons of advice, and made me laugh (a lot). The third step in my journey was
to reach out and help other women who find themselves in a similar situation. After I
was feeling better I decided to see what was available for new mothers. I assumed
there was a ready made army for every new mother who needed it. What I found was
quite different. No support groups. No one to provide the unconditional support and
follow-up needed unless the new mother sought individual counseling on her own. I
was so grateful to come through these dark emotions and I wanted to show others
they could do it too. There is no need for a mother to suffer alone and in silence
when so many have been there and know the way out.
I now have two beautiful little girls. I still am far from the perfect mother. But I do
the best I can to be a good parent and love them to pieces everyday. I have learned
that loving them means living in the moment, enjoying the chaos, and finding comfort
in the unpredictability of life both now and in the future.
Counselor Spotlight
Kay Partamian, PhD, L.P., RHSP
Kay is one of The CENTER’s two psychologists. She is the
clinical coordinator for the professional staff. She works
with adolescents and adults with a wide range of
anxiety, depression and adjustment disorders. She also
works with couples on relationship and marriage, as well
as parenting issues. Kay has worked at The CENTER for
11 years. She enjoys working at The CENTER because
she can make her services “available to women who have no access to a psychologist
otherwise.”
WOMEN
OF
STRENGTH
VOLUME
1,
ISSUE
2
PAGE
Inside the Battle
A women in need tells her story in her own words
My Journey
“Why isn’t it OK to just be yourself?” The first time my counselor asked me that question a
couple of years ago, I had no answer. I’m still thinking about it, but with my counselor at the
Center, I’m getting closer.
I knew what he meant. But it seemed to me that being myself couldn’t get me what I wanted.
It never had.
I wanted respect. I wanted to follow my heart, to express my creativity in my own way, and
to be recognized for my strengths rather than hammered for my weaknesses. But every time I
tried, it brought me nothing but trouble. I just didn’t fit in with the expectations I believed
everyone had for me. I would have traded all my abilities and talents for a chance to be like
everyone else, to function the same way they did. I don’t know when or how it happened, but
somewhere along the line, trying so hard to meet the expectations I had internalized, I lost
track of who I really was.
When I examine who I really am today, I like what I find. But at the same time, I feel guilty
for that, not because I think it’s noble or something to dislike oneself, but because who I have
become is not who I am “supposed to be.” By liking myself, it’s as though I’m giving in,
accepting second best, admitting that I’ll “never amount to anything.” I might amount to
something different than what I always expected, but that isn’t the kind of person I was
taught to value. My old role models have less and less to offer me, but breaking completely
new territory can be scary.
My journey isn’t done. It might never be. But with patience, determination, and my
counselors’ insightful guidance, it’s becoming more manageable. Wherever I end up, at least
I’ll have myself, and maybe that will finally be OK.
Inside Depression
By Dr. Kay Partamian
It helps to recognize that there is a difference between ordinary transient or
temporary sadness and depression and what is called Clinical Depression. Everyone
has experienced times of sadness due to specific reasons, an event, an unmet
expectation, being away from a loved one temporarily, inability to meet a need, loss
of a loved object, etc. Everyone has also experienced a sense of feeling down and
heavy, or a blah feeling that may last a whole day or two without having a specific
reason to account for it, referred to as being depressed. These various degrees of
sadness and depression that everyone may experience at one time or
another are normal. They are considered part of life and do not interfere
with life.
Clinical depression on the other hand is the experience of sadness and
feeling down accompanied with negative thoughts that prevents us from
enjoying other aspects of our lives; it interferes with normal life activities.
There are various types of Clinical Depression based on intensity, duration,
and other unusual features and symptoms that may be co-present. Clinical
Depression impacts one’s sleep, appetite, energy level, and self-worth.
Included in the symptoms are negative attitude, feelings of guilt and selfblame, irritability and pessimism. These can negatively impact one’s
physical health and family and social relationships. Clinical Depression can gradually
lift and end on its own, but come back every few months, or it can get more severe
with the passage of time. Anyone who experiences the above mentioned symptoms
for two weeks or longer should consult with a mental health professional.
THE CENTER,
A SAMARITAN
CENTER •
SILENT
SAMARITAN
NEWSLETTER
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