Download Admissions Essay Tip

TIMELY TIPS
WORDS MATTER, ESPECIALLY IF YOU WANT TO CRAFT A PERSONAL ADMISSIONS ESSAY
THAT MAKES YOU STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD.
CE THE ESSAY
CHOOSING A TOPIC
An essay isn't a mini-autobiography, so don't try to tell your entire life story. Instead, show how you handled a tough, complicated situation or
how you found unexpected joy.
And consider your audience:
You're not writing for your grandparents. Admissions officers want to know that you're interesting. They want to read about someone who
takes risks and isn't afraid to defy convention, but also questions their own decisions.
Don't write an essay about how you saved a stray dog, in other words, unless there was a compelling reason for you not to save that dog as
well.
Think of someone your parents' age that you consider a friend. What is an anecdote or story that they would like to hear and maybe even repeat
to others? That anecdote might feature vulnerability, humor, complicated decisions, unexpected developments and consequences, and unique
insights.
The anecdote you choose to write about should be recent enough that you recall particular details (what someone was wearing or what someone
said). But, you should also have enough distance and detachment from
the moment to process the significance of what occurred.
If you're having trouble finding a worthy anecdote to write about, try this: Close your eyes and think of a time when you made a decision you
now regret. Regret can make for good essay material; it signals a change in belief, which means you've experienced some growth and this
typically occurs when something significant is at stake.
Telling an anecdote works well in essays because readers are engaged by and tend to recall stories. You might also defend a controversial (or
surprising) belief or practice. Explain why you think birthday parties bring out the worst in everyone, for instance.
A void sports. Readers know the outcome of most sports contests in advance-a win, tie, or loss-and the stakes aren't usually as high as they
might seem for participants. If you are determined to write about sports, come at it from an unusual angle. You might examine why a player on
your team purposefully scored four goals for the opposition, or make an argument for why rock, paper, scissors is more complicated than chess.
Avoid anecdotes that involve alcohol, drugs, or reckless driving - and especially all three. Admissions officers are looking for risk-takers, but
not criminals or safety threats, so they don't want to hear about drinking beer, stealing a neighbor's pickup, and then flipping the truck by trying
to run over a squirrel.
ON BEGINNINGS
Readers can tune out after, or even during, the first sentence. Resist the urge to begin an essay like an academic paper: "I am going to talk about
how
I wish I had spent more time with my grandparents. I'll start by describing them, share some of our most memorable times together, and end
with what they mean to me now."
Avoid autobiographical beginnings, too: "I was born in Springfield, 111., got my first pet turtle at age three, and learned to ride a bike at age
three and a half (a few months before my sister Sheila)." These openings don't tell a reader what your essay will be aboutother than you,
generally.
Try starting a personal essay with one of these: a provocative quote
ON L1NE-BY-L1NE WRITING
It's better to describe one item in detail (a sofa with a teastain on one cushion, pillows that looked like they'd been filled with sand, a raised
velvet paisley pattern, etc.) than to briefly describe all the furniture in the room (a couch, a desk, a couple lamps, and a painting on the wall).
With one vivid description, readers will be able to imagine how the rest of the setting appears.
• BE SPECIFIC, NOT ABSTRACT
(Abstract) Some people came into the room and annoyed me. (Specific) Three lO-year-old girls, dressed for church, crowded through the door of our family room and started
throwing coasters around like Frisbees.
• AVOID USING "THERE" OR "IT"
Weak subjects like these don't evoke strong images in the reader's mind. Starting too many sentences with "I" can get tiresome, too.
• USE STRONG VERBS
"Is/was" should be used as a last resort. Search for just the right verb-"calculated," "designed," "miffed," "sculpted," and so on. If you choose the right verb, adverbs aren't
necessary. Eliminating adverbs might also help you slide under the word limit for your college essay.
ON ENDINGS
A fable delivers a moral. An essay asks thought-provoking questions that illuminate a particular event, idea, problem, or human experience.
In college, questions matter as much, if not more, than answers. College is where you learn and hone the questions you most want to answerabout yourself and the world. So write about how a particular experience opened your mind to the world's
(yours or someone else's), a controversial or surprising assertion, a question you will try to answer, or a vivid description that gives the reader a
sense of the setting or people in your anecdote.
And if you choose to tell an anecdote, consider starting in the middle, during the moment of highest tension. The reader will want to know not
only what happens next, but how you got into that predicament in the first place. Once the story is in motion and the reader is hooked, then fill
in relevant background information.
• BEWARE THE PASSIVE VOICE
A verb is active when its subject is performing whatever action the verb is describing. The verb is passive if its subject is being acted upon by something or someone else.
The passive voice
is composed of is, was, or has been, plus a past participle: (Passive) Horns were blown, bells were rung, ticker tape was thrown from the windows, and embraces were
exchanged. (Active) Horns blew, bells rang, ticker tape flew out the windows, and couples embraced.
• BE CONSISTENT WITH VERB TENSE
If you shift from present tense ("I jump to my left") to past ("and went out the door") or vice versa, you will trip up the reader. When talking about past events, stay in the past
tense.
• TRY TO INCORPORATE AS MANY SENSES AS POSSIBLE When you drag your reader through multiple ages and places, the essay's energy typically disappears. Once
you've chosen the story you want to tell, limit the number of scenes you describe. Fill these select scenes with sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures.
• WHILE ESSAYS ARE TRUTHFUL, IT'S OKAY TO AD LIB A BIT For instance, if you can't recall what food was served at
a wedding, you could say, "I'm pretty sure all the appetizers came out of cans or bags. Cheetos might have been involved."
complexity, rather than provide a neat, tidy answer.
Consider ending with a strong image, a quote, or a new question that's arisen in the process of writing your essay.
ON REVISION
Once you're done with your essay, set it aside for a few days. Then print it out in a different font and read it out loud. Because your eyes aren't
accustomed to its new appearance,
you will be more apt to catch mistakes. (And a beautifully written essay that's full of typos and other problems could overshadow all of your
good work.) SM
ERIC VROOMAN has taught creative writing, composition, and literature at Tulane University and Gustavus Adolphus College. His short fiction has appeared in The Kenyon
Review, The Cream City Review, Passages Norlh, Ninth Letter, and elsewhere.