Download HFCC Learning Lab Sentence Structure, 4.63 A POSITIVE

HFCC Learning Lab
Sentence Structure, 4.63
A POSITIVE APPROACH TO EFFECTIVE EXPRESSION
Explanation:
Well composed and “correct” sentence are essential to effective composition.
Moreover, the total impact of a composition may be weak-ended because a few sentences
may have awkward grammatical constructions or contain sentence errors. The handout
deals with faulty parallelism, the use of verbal’s and passive voice. By studying
sentences that contain error, you may be able to avoid similar errors in your own
sentences.
I. Faulty Parallelism
Whenever you write a sentence involving two equal elements (or a series
of them), these sentence elements must have the same (parallel)
grammatical form. (for a further discussion of parallelism see 4.61)
Examples:
1. Not parallel: Patrick likes to fish and swimming.
(Infinitive)
(gerund)
Parallel: Patrick likes to fish and swing.
(both infinitives)
2. Not Parallel: Jim started to collect stamps to learn about geography
(infinitive phrase) because he wanted to please his father. (adverb clause)
Parallel: Jim started to collect stamps to learn about geography (infinitive
phrase) and to please his father (infinitive).
3. Not parallel: Renowned in his own country, Winston Churchill was a
distinguished statesman (predicate noun) and who was respected by
political leaders throughout the word (relative clause).
In this sentence, both sides of the "and" must be parallel; that is, if one
dependent clause is used, then another must come before the “and.”
Parallel: Winston Churchill was a distinguished statesman who was
renowned in his country (relative clause) and who was respected by
political leaders throughout the world (relative clause)
4. Not parallel: Tess’ success is the result of perseverance (prepositional
phrase) and the fact that she works hard (adjective clause)
Parallel: Tess’ success is the result of perseverance and of hard work
(adjective phrase)
5. Parallel form must be used with these correlative conjunctions:
Either… or…..
Neither….. nor….
Not only… but also…..
Both…. And….
Put the conjunctions just before the parallel for.
Not parallel: Either you must obey the rules or pay the penalty.
Parallel: You must either obey the rules or pay the penalty.
Exercise A. Parallelism
Directions: correct all errors in parallel structure by rewriting the sentence so that ideas of
equal importance are expressed in the same grammatical structure. Some sentences may
not require any change.
1. Fred is a good math teacher, and who is willing to tutor on the side.
2. Swimming is healthier than a jog or tennis.
3. Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and a few to be chewed and
digested.
4. I decided to swim, jog, and start doing some exercises every day.
5. Some people drink to be sociable, to show off, to experiment, or because they like
the taste of a particular alcoholic beverage.
II. Active and Passive Voices
Generally, it is preferable to write sentence in the active voice, for the
word “active” well describes what happens to an idea written in the active
voice; that is, the sentence is “active.” The passive voice, if used
excessively, creates a passive, indirect style.
The passive voice is easy to recognize since it is formed by the
combination of the verb to be (am, is, are, was, were, etc.) and a past
participle verb (jumped, swum, sung, etc.).
Notice the difference between the active and the passive voice in the following
sentences.
Active: My son fixed the computer.
Passive: the computer was fixed by my son.
In the active voice, the “fixer “of the computer, or the doer (or agent) of the action is the
son; the subject son does something to the object which is the computer. However, in
passive voice, the doer of the action is not the subject of the grammatical subject of the
sentence. The passive voice is of course, a legitimate grammatical construction in the
English language and does have some practical uses. For example, if a writer finds that
he needs a distant or formal tone, he might write.
It has been determined that your job is no longer necessary and you are hereby
laid off.
Another example of the impersonal tone created by the passive voice:
Air travel is used when the conversation of time is the utmost importance.
Other uses of the passive voice include a desire for sentence variety and an attempt to
vary the emphasis by shifting the normal word order. Consider this passive sentence:
Henry was scolded by the teacher.
In this sentence, Henry is the receiver of the action and, therefore, normally would be the
object. But with “Henry” as the subject, emphasis is placed on him.
The passive is also useful when there is no performer of the action:
The Titanic was lost in a tragic accident in the Atlantic.
If the subject of the sentence is unknown, the passive voice works well:
The policemen are being pelted with rocks.
The passive can also be used when the subject is unimportant:
The real estate book was written in eight years.
Finally, the passive can be used when the performer or the doer is less important than the
action:
The meeting was delayed because of poor attendance.
Exercise B: The Active and Passive Voice
Directions: Indicate the voice of the verb in the following sentences by writing “A” for
active and “P” for the passive in the blanks.
1. The symphony begins at noon.
2. The foreign language can be learnt in 6 weeks.
3. Some of the soap appears are written by prominent writers.
4. Laura is seen by the audience as a lively, pretty lady.
5. Why don’t we combine the assets of both companies.
6. The book was laid there by the librarian.
7. Spelling is emphasized in many college writing courses.
8. Students should have a quiet study area in their homes.
9. The essay presents a strong argument against gun control.
10. The car should be ran at 55 mph or lower for the first 1,000 miles.
Exercise C: Using the Active Voice.
Directions: Rewrite the following sentences, making the verbs active.
1.
2.
3.
4.
My sister likes school very much, and homework is done by her every day.
Gardening is now taught by teachers in elementary school.
Books for the blind are being tapped by volunteers.
The garage was built by my son.
III. Verbal’s
Because verbal’s (participles, gerund, and infinitives) are sometimes mistaken
for verbs, the use of verbal’s can often cause sentence errors.
Verbal’s are words derived from verbs but are not action words themselves;
they do not function as the predicates in sentences. The following example is a
typical illustration of a verbal mistakenly used as a predicate, resulting in the
sentence fragment.
The lecture is intended for high school seniors. Males and females looking for the right
college with little success.
(Participle)
“Looking” appears to be a predicate (verb), but in reality it is a verbal (participle)
modifying the nouns “males and females.” The following is a suggested revision of the
fragment.
The lecture is intended for high school seniors. It is designed for both males and
females, looking for the right college with little success.
A. Participles
A participle is a word that combines the qualities of an adjective and a
verb. Consider the following sentence.
The half eaten sandwich lay on the table.
(Past participle) (Sub) (Predicate)
The word “half eaten” serves two functions: (1) since it modifies the noun
“sandwich” ( the subject of the sentence, it functions as the adjective; (2)
“half-eaten” had the properties of a verb because of its verb form, the is,
the en ending, and so the adjectival and verbal qualities of “half-eaten”
combine to make the word participle.
However, it is not usually the past participle that causes problems.
It is the present participle that is confusing for student writers.
Common errors in the use of participles is (1) misplacing them in a sentence so that they
appear to modify a word they are not instead supposed to modify (thus the name dangling
modifier) and (2) using them as main clauses. Note the following:
clause)
Incorrect: Driving the car down the street. (A participle has been used as a main
(Participle)
Correct: Driving the car down the street, Harry waved to a friend.
(Participle)
(Sub) (Predicate)
(Participle)
Incorrect: By practicing a little each day and taking an art course will help to learn
a great deal about art. (The opening participle does not clearly modify any noun)
Correct: By practicing a little each day and by taking an art course, a student can
learn a great deal about art. (The opening modifier clearly modifies a student)
Incorrect: The dog bit a policemen foaming at the mouth. (In this sentence the
participle modifier “foaming at the mouth” is next to the wrong noun. Thus it is a
dangling modifier.
Correct: The dog, foaming at the mouth, bit a policeman.
Exercise A. Correct the errors involving participles. In some cases the participle may be
next to the wrong noun; in other cases the participle may be “dangling,” that is, it will
have no noun to which it is attached. Also, the sentence might have a participle but no
subject or predicate.
1. The driver lost sight of the landmark having turned in the wrong direction.
2. Running into the room, the light was turned on.
3. Being the only local library in town, I was disappointed that it had but a small
supply of magazines.
4. Looking everywhere for clues, no detail was overlooked by the police.
5. Looking through his field glasses, the boat sailed away.
6. The teacher lectured to the class reading from notes.
7. When running track, his ankle was injured.
8. Following the Tigers very closely, their standing in the league was something he
knew already.
Gerunds
The gerund, like the present participle, ends in –ing, but it functions as a noun, not an
adjective. The word swimming, for example, could be a gerund or a participle. Compare
the following:
Gerung as a noun
1. Swimming is fun,
2. They use the lack for swimming.
Participle as Adjective
1. The boy swimming is Jack.
2. Henry praised his swimming coach.
Gerunds, like participle, sometimes give problems.
Incorrect: She disliked him swimming.
Correct: She disliked his swimming.
The object is not him but swimming. She did not dislike him, but the fact that he was
swimming. The possessive pronoun his functions as an adjective and the object is the
gerund “swimming.” Thus, the possessive form of the pronoun should be used before the
gerund.
Incorrect: We all enjoy Ray dancing.
Correct: We all enjoy Ray’s dancing.
The use of the gerund can also help in eliminating wordiness and the vague use of the
pronouns this and which.
Vague: import quotas should be set on all goods shipped from foreign countries.
This could be one way of creating jobs for all Americans,
Clear: setting import quotas could be one way of creating jobs for Americans.
Analysis: The problem of vagueness occurs because there is no clear antecedent
for pronouns this and which.
Exercise B: Improve or correct the following sentences.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Study a little every day. This could be one way of avoiding low grades.
His mother was angry at him smoking.
The president raised taxes again, and it really made the people angry.
It is easy to avoid bad tires. But this court disasters.
By exercising every day, one’s health may improve.
Answer Key
Exercise a Note: Answers may vary. Show answers to a lab instructor.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
The driver, having turned in the wrong direction, lost sight of the landmark.
Running into the room, John turned on the light.
I was disappointed that the only library had a small supply of magazines.
Looking everywhere for clues, the police did not over look any details.
Looking through his field glasses, he watched the boat sail away.
The teacher, reading from notes, lectured to the class.
When running track, he injured his ankle.
Following the tigers closely, he knew their league standing immediately.
Exercise B.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
7/28/2010
Studying a little every day could be one way of avoiding low grades.
His mother was angry at him smoking.
Raising taxes again really made people angry at the president.
Ignoring bad tires courses disaster.
By exercising every day, one may improve his/her health.