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CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN PRE-MARITAL
AND MARITAL VALUES
By
Christopher Ryan Dooley
A SENIOR THESIS
In
GENERAL STUDIES
Submitted to the General Studies Council
In the College of Arts and Sciences
At Texas Tech University in
Partial fulfillment of
The Requirements for
The Degree of
BACHELOR OF GENERAL STUDIES
Approved
DR. P~ JOHNSON
Department of Sociology, Anthropology, and Social Work
Co-Chairperson of Thesis Committee
MS . LAURA ' BR':(P
Department of Family Studies
Co-Chairperson of Thesis Committee
Accepted
DR. MICHAEL SCHOENECKE
Director of General Studies
December 1999
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\G{(\^
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I would like to thank Dr. Paul Johnson and Ms. Laura
jyO jLr\ Bryan for their help in this thesis project.
Thank you for
helping balance my opinions with academic research.
Thank
you for giving your time to make my thesis project
successful as my Thesis Committee members.
I would also like to thank Ms. Linda Gregston, the
General Studies advisor, for helping me figure out a plan
for graduation.
I also want to thank Dr. Dale Davis,
former Director of General Studies, and Dr. Michael
Schoenecke, the current Director of General Studies, for
answering all my questions about the thesis.
I also owe a special thank you to Keeley Rabuck for
her countless hours of support.
I could not have been
successful without everyone who has helped me.
11
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
11
CHAPTER
INTRODUCTION
II.
TRADITIONAL CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN
PRE-MARITAL SEXUAL VIRTUES
3
Risks of Pre-Marital Sexual Activity
4
Sexually Transmitted Disease
5
Emotional Effects
6
Scriptural Interpretations
7
III. TRADITIONAL CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN
VIRTUES AND GENDER ROLES
10
Four Marks of Real Love
11
The Couple's Needs
12
Conservative Christian Gender Roles
13
IV. A SEXUAL REVOLUTION IN SECULAR SOCIETY
16
The Sexual Revolution
16
Sex in the Media
17
Sexual Promiscuity
20
111
V. RELIGIOUS EDUCATION STRATEGIES REGARDING
SEXUAL VALUES AND MARITAL VALUES
22
True Love Waits
22
Aim For Success
25
Christian Sex Education in the Church
26
The Responsible Sexuality Program
28
Marital Values
29
Preparations for Marriage
30
VI. CONCLUSION
32
SELECTED BIBLIOGRAPHY
IV
34
CHAPTER I
INTRODUCTION
Over the last fifty years the United States of America
has been overwhelmed with drastic changes.
Some of these
changes have benefitted the people, and some of these
changes have destroyed lives. Sexual activity between unwed
teens, as well as unwed adults, has risen at an alarming
rate.
We live in a country where 6.9 percent of men and 21
percent of women refrain from intercourse before their
honeymoon (Mackler, 1999).
As people begin to have sex
before marriage there is an increase in the risk of
sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.
Conservative Christians believe the Bible to be the word
of God.
They believe the scripture is clear on the subject
of bringing together men and women.
Genesis 2:18 says,
"And the Lord God said. It is not good that the man should
be alone; I will make a helpmate for him."
Conservative
Christians hold that God did not intend for men and women
to be alone.
God shows us that for man there is no
substitute, there is no better companionship than that of
his wife.
As far as the Bible talking about sex, it is
mentioned numerous times.
Genesis 2:24 also states:
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and
shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall become one
flesh."
Conservative Christians interpret these verses to
mean that God intended for human beings to become one in
the act of sexual intercourse (Wheat, 1977).
Sexual
intercourse does have its place in our lives, but according
to God's plan it should take place in the bond of marriage.
Matthew 5:27-28 states, "You have heard that it was said.
Do not commit adultery.
But I tell you that anyone who
looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery
with her in his heart."
So, not only is having sex outside
of marriage wrong; lusting after someone is just as wrong.
These pieces of scripture, taken from the New
International Version of the Bible, and the previous
statements can set a building block for this question.
As
youth enter the 21^^ century, what sort of religious
education will prepare them to preserve the traditional
values of conservative Christianity in terms of pre-marital
sexual virtues and post marital gender roles?
How can
learning these values prepare them to face the complexities
of life in a secular society in the wake of what is
generally conceived to be an increase in sexual promiscuity
in the 1960s and continuing until today?
CHAPTER II
TRADITIONAL CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN PRE-MARITAL
SEXUAL VALUES
Pre-marital sexual values begin soaking into our
brains when we are just small children.
Growing up in a
church, one can learn the essentials of what it means to be
a Christian.
From a Christian perspective the first thing
that must be considered when discussing pre-marital sexual
values is whether or not the person in which the values are
being instilled is a Christian.
For Christians sexual
promiscuity is simply a symptom of a much larger problem.
The problem is sin.
These are the views of the
conservative Christian community such as the Southern
Baptists and Bible church members.
Not everyone holds to
these ideas that are a part of these congregations.
It would be unwise to think that only non-Christians
would have problems holding to the biblical teachings of
abstinence.
In this short story from Christianity
Today,
a
Christian teenager struggles to maintain his virginity.
According to Thomas (1999):
The call came at 11:30 P.M. on a Saturday night.
"Miss Cathi," the teenage boy said, "I called you
because I really need help. I really want to have
sex, but I know I shouldn't." Cathi Woods recognized
his voice and knew the boy was calling from a "good
Christian home." He had just returned from a date
with his girlfriend and was terrified that their
passion was getting out of hand. "Both of us are
Christians," the boy explained, "but we went too far.
We didn't sleep together, but I'm worried about the
next time. You're the only person I can talk to." (p.
40.)
This young Christian man had a hard time holding back.
No
matter whether or not someone claims to be a Christian, sex
outside of marriage is a temptation that can grow out of
control.
In order to combat this problem we must take a
look at the standards set for conservative Christian premarital values.
Risks of Pre- Marital Sexual Activity
The Bible teaches that pre-marital sex is sinful and
leads not only to disease or unwanted pregnancy, but also
emotional trauma (Abstinence, 1996).
Just as the article
states, sex before marriage goes much deeper than hurting
one's body.
Exodus 20:14 states, "Do not commit adultery."
Disobedience of biblical teachings can create internal
feelings and emotions that may be psychologically harmful.
Guilt, which originates from disobedience, may negatively
effect emotions.
Sex can have a life-long negative effect
when it strays from God's plan.
Research done by Elizabeth
Thomson and Ugo Colella found that couples who had
4
cohabited prior to marriage reported greater marital
conflict and poorer communication than those who had not
cohabited before marriage (Colella and Thomson, 1992).
Sexually Transmitted Disease
The ideas of conservative Christians to preach strict
sexual virtues are intended to protect people from harmful
effects as well as keep their lives pure in God's eyes.
One of the most obvious risks facing youth today is the
rapid increase of sexually transmitted diseases.
In 1996
the Center for Disease Control reported 325,900 new cases
of gonorrhea in the United States.
The Human Papilloma
Virus has been estimated to have been spread to at least
5.5 million new people in 1998 (Kaiser Family Foundation,
1999).
The most dangerous and largest killer of the
sexually transmitted diseases is HIV (Human
Immunodeficiency Virus).
becomes known as AIDS.
As this virus distorts itself it
According to the Kaiser Family
Foundation, since 1989, the greatest proportionate increase
of reported AIDS cases has been among heterosexuals, and
this trend is expected to continue (1999).
Three quarters
of the AIDS infections were sexually transmitted.
These
figures represent the United States, but throughout the
world there are an estimated 5.8 million new HIV cases
annually, and over 30 million persons currently live with
HIV (Kaiser Family Foundation, 1999).
significant problem in society.
STD's are a
Harmful diseases could be
drastically diminished if sexual relations did not take
place before marriage.
It seems only logical that these
numbers would decrease if sexual intercourse were limited
to the context of marriage.
This would be in accordance
with conservative Christian teachings based on the Bible.
These are merely physical effects that take place and are
harmful when sex takes place outside of marriage.
Emotional Effects
Emotional effects are more difficult to measure, but
divorce, dissatisfaction with marriage, and a teenager's
heartache can be looked at when speaking of harmful effects
of pre-marital sexual relations.
David Whitman studied the
effects of cohabitation on young couples.
He found that
virgin brides are less likely to divorce than women who
lost their virginity prior to marriage (Whitman, 1997) .
The women who were virgins felt a higher level of
commitment to their marriage partners.
Teenage heartache
can most certainly come in the form of pregnancy.
The
creation of a child is a beautiful symbol of love, but when
a teenage girl gets pregnant and is not married the burden
of motherhood often overwhelms the joy of birth.
Emotional
needs are difficult to measure and statistical information
measuring
broken hearts cannot be found, but there are
internal problems that can weigh on the heart of teenagers
participating in sexual practices.
Scriptural Interpretations
The Christian stance on sexual purity is one that is
backed up by biblical teachings and what Christians believe
God lays out for believers in scripture.
Many conservative
Christians believe God wants to preserve sexual activity
until He gives it to them in the bonds of marriage.
Genesis 2:24 states, "For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will
become one flesh."
According to Ellison and Goodson, many
conservative Christians believe the verse says that sexual
intercourse is intended to form a spiritual and physical
union between husband and wife (Ellison and Goodson, 1997).
Psalm 84:11 says, "For the Lord God is a sun and shield:
the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will he
withhold from them that walk uprightly. "
I Corinthians
6:18 reads,
"Flee from sexual immorality.
All other sins
a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins
sexually sins against his own body."
The desire of God is
for us to honor Him and, in turn, we will be honoring our
bodies as.
Conservative Christians believe God knows that sexual
sin can bring serious consequences to the individual and
that immorality cannot satisfy out needs, but can only
deepen them.
We can look at the story of Adam and Eve in
the Old Testament and realize that impurity can bring forth
guilt and low self-esteem because of the guilt.
Guilt
sometimes does not surface until years down the road, and
it can inhibit sexual happiness in marriage.
A study done on a sample of 1,587 high school students
showed that intercourse is negatively related with
religiosity (Werner-Wilson, 1998).
Those students who were
sexually active had negative feelings about religion.
The
study also showed that self esteem and sexual behavior are
negatively related for those who believe sex outside of
marriage is wrong (Werner-Wilson, 1998).
Remaining
sexually pure follows what most conservative Christians
believe to be the biblical standard.
Throughout this chapter, conservative Christian
thoughts regarding sexuality have been expressed and
discussed in terms of what conservative Christians desire
for teenagers.
These values could be listed as "do's" and
"don'ts," and these values could be seen as adults trying
to steal the fun away from teenagers, but the justification
of the values is for God's plan to be followed according to
conservative Christian teachings.
Conservative Christians
believe their view results in less grief and more marital
happiness.
Pre-marital sexual virtues of conservative
Christians can be summed up neatly by saying the virtues
entail maintaining sexual purity outside the bonds of
marriage.
CHAPTER III
TRADITIONAL CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN MARITAL
VIRTUES AND GENDER ROLES
In the United States, fifty percent of all Generation
X children come from divorced homes (Leo, 1999).
As the
divorce rate grows many questions need to be asked.
What
are the key ingredients that allow marriages to last?
do married couples work through difficult times?
How
How do
individuals know if they have married the right person?
What are the husband's and wife's roles in marriage?
These
questions can be answered, and throughout this next chapter
hopefully the answers will become clear.
In a random sample of 17 9 married couples in the
United States it was found that church attendance, duration
of marriage, and satisfaction of family life are major
predicators of structural commitment (Goltz & Larson,
1989).
The study showed that religious experience and
rituals, such as going to church, have a strong correlation
with marital satisfaction.
The reason for this is because
those who are more active in their religious life and
church are more likely to try to make the marriage work
because of the encouragement of the religious community
10
(Goltz & Larson, 1989).
Leading a life filled with
religion can help to maintain marital satisfaction.
Four Marks of Real Love
Many Christians believe that love can only reach its
fullest potential in the confines of marriage.
True
commitment to one's mate can open up one's life and does
not restrict it. According to Dr. John Trent, a marriage
and family therapist, real love consists of attraction,
integrity, security, and a spiritual foundation (Trent,
1999).
The first sign of interest in someone is physical
attraction.
The physical desire is great in humans.
Integrity, defined as uprightness of character and honesty,
can help to form a relationship between two people as they
continue to get to know one another.
Song of Solomon 1: 3
says, " Your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder
the maidens love you!" According to this what attracts the
women to her husband is his good name.
The feeling of
security in a marriage is another important component.
It
is important to feel a sense of value in the marriage
relatonship.
Finally a spiritual foundation, sharing the
same beliefs, provides a couple with a start on building a
marriage together (Trent, 1999) . These four marks of real
11
love can help couples to have a loving and lasting
marriage.
The Couple's Needs
Some of the most important factors to take a look at
in a marriage are the needs of the two individuals in the
marriage.
Every marriage has the potential to have some
bumps along the road, but if husbands and wives could
better understand each other' s needs the marriage might be
a little less conflicted.
Willard Harley, Jr. a Christian
family counselor, has met with hundreds of couples over his
career and discovered with consistency two sets of five
categories for both the husband's needs and the wife's
needs.
The man's five most basic needs in marriage are
sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an
attractive spouse, domestic support, and admiration.
The
woman's five most basic needs in marriage are affection,
conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and
family commitment (Harley, 1986).
The specific nature of
these needs will vary for different couples.
It is no wonder men and women have trouble adjusting
in a marriage.
If any of these needs are not being met the
marriage is vulnerable to problems.
12
All of this being
said, it is important for the spouses to understand one
another's needs. As they begin to understand these needs
they are able to learn how they coalesce as a couple.
Couples begin to figure out the roles that they will play
in their marriage.
Conservative Christian Gender Roles
In every marriage husbands and wives have different
roles that they play in order for the marriage to be
successful.
In the conservative Christian marriage, many
couples desire for the husband to be the leader of the
family.
This can be a delicate topic because of the
subject of the wives taking a submissive role in the
marriage.
It is not that the male wants to be domineering;
in this case he is just trying to follow what he believes
to be biblically correct.
Ephesians 5: 22-23 states,
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
For the
husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of
the Church, his body, of which he is the savior."
The
Apostle Paul, author of the book of Ephesians, was writing
this for readers to better understand God's eternal purpose
and grace.
God's orders do not stop there.
13
Ephesians 5:
25 goes on to say, "Husbands love your wives just as Christ
loved the Church and gave himself up for her."
In the book
of I Peter chapter 3 verse 7 it says, "Husbands, in the
same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and
treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs
with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will
hinder your prayers."
When Peter calls women the weaker
partners he is probably making references to physical
limitations.
A man who honors his wife as the weaker sex
will strive to protect her from physical danger or harm.
The Bible not only speaks of the husband's role in a
marriage, but also of the wife's roles.
In Rocking the Roles, by Robert Lewis and William
Hendricks, the best summary of the wife's role can be found
in scripture-
The Apostle Paul's words in this letter to
the young pastor named Titus must be looked at in Titus
2:3-5 to see a picture of the wife's role.
"Likewise,
teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live,
not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach
what is good.
Then they can train the younger women to
love their husbands and children, to be self- controlled
and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject
to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of
14
God."
Lewis and Hendricks do not believe Titus's
guidelines should fit with the Word of God (Hendricks &
Lewis, 1991).
The roles wives play are just as important
as the roles the husbands are playing.
like pieces of a puzzle.
They fit together
If couples remember the roles set
forth in scripture, Hendricks and Lewis believe marriage
can be a great success (Hendricks & Lewis, 1991).
15
CHAPTER IV
A SEXUAL REVOLUTION
IN SECULAR SOCIETY
Society is continually becoming infiltrated with
sexuality outside of marriage.
The number of sexually
active teenagers has continued to rise throughout the
years.
What is the American media saying about sex?
What
is society saying about pre-marital sex and how are young
people today dealing with what society says is acceptable?
During the 1960s a sexual revolution spread across the
United States preaching free love with little consequence
(Galium, 1996).
Now, those who live in the present are
adhering to some of these revolution principles, but they
are discovering that there are negative consequences.
The Sexual Revolution
Starting in the 1920s the number of women engaging in
pre-marital sex jumped to about 50 percent in the later
1920s.
After the World War II, values began to change and
consumer goods became a focal point.
By the 1960s
businesses began to cater to non-marital sex, bringing to
life the "singles bar" (Stossel, 1997).
16
In the 1950s, less
than 25 percent of Americans felt sex before marriage was
acceptable.
By 1970, this number had grown to 75 percent.
Stossel describes a study done by Adweek magazine noted
that single people as a percentage of the total American
adult population rose from 28 percent in 1970 to 41 percent
(Stossel, 1997),
The sexual revolution was in full effect
because of the increased number of singles not remaining
abstinent.
The introduction of the "Pill" catalyzed the
sexual revolution while the AIDS virus made a strong effort
in putting an end to the revolution.
Conservative
Protestants believe the availability of birth control has
made sexual intercourse more casual and non-marital sexual
encounters more feasible (Ellison and Goodson, 1997).
happened to the sexual revolution?
What
Sex in America has
slowed down considerably since the height of the
revolution, but many teenagers today are still believe that
promiscuity is okay.
Taking a look at American culture can
tell a story of compromising morals and a relaxed attitude
toward sex.
Sex in the Media
In 1975, television networks agreed to set aside the
first hour of prime time television, seven P.M. to eight
17
P.M. central, as family hour.
This lasted for only one
year because it was then challenged by the Writers Guild of
America and other groups on First Amendment and anti-trust
grounds (Johnson, 1996) . More recently, during a fourweek period a survey was completed by USA Today on sexual
content during family hour programming during the weeks of
September 21, 1995 through October 19, 1995.
They focused
on the broadcast networks ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, UPN and WB.
During this one-month period, forty instances of premarital sex were found.
sex eight to one.
These cases outnumbered marital
"Friends," a popular television show,
portrayed pre-marital sex in every episode during the month
it was surveyed.
On September 26, 1995 on a Fox television
movie called "Weird World" a woman seduced a co-worker
because she heard he was good in bed (Johnson, 1996).
This
survey shows that teenagers who watch television are likely
to observe the casual attitude of Hollywood towards sexual
intimacy.
There are other instances besides the previously
mentioned survey where sexuality is being flaunted on
television.
A University of California Los Angeles study
finds that three out of ten prime-time shows aimed at
children now include sex talk (Zinsmeister, 1999) .
18
"University of North Carolina professor, Jane Brown, who
has studied this subject in depth, concludes that TV is so
filled with sex it's hard for any kid, even a critic, to
resist.
I think of the media as our true sex educators"
(Zinsmeister, 1999).
A Los Angeles Times poll noted that
seven out of ten people say television encourages sexual
immorality.
Taking a look at the studies reveal that media
seems to be saying that sex outside of marriage is
acceptable behavior.
The question that needs to be answered is whether or
not teenagers can decipher between fantasy and reality?
Research on this topic is conflicting.
A study was done
using a sample of 1,043 high school students.
The greatest
majority of the students believed television to be their
greatest pressure to become sexually active (Long,
Rothfuss, & Strause, 1995).
Another survey given to 214
adolescents by the same researchers wanted to see the
effects of watching sexually suggestive music videos.
Students who watched MTV, Music Television, were no more
likely to be sexually permissive than those who did not
watch (Long, Rothfuss, & Strause, 1995).
Rivadeneyra and
Ward also studied the contributions of television to
adolescent's sexual attitudes and expectations.
19
They
surveyed 157 college freshmen.
The students watched 25
hours of prime time television in a single month and then
answered questions regarding their sexual attitudes.
The
research showed that the females in the study related
television with their sexual attitudes more than the males.
Men were less likely to use television to learn about
interpersonal relationships than females (Rivadeneyra and
Ward, 1997).
The conclusions are unclear whether or not
watching television shows with sexual content can lead to
sexual permissiveness.
The results vary with different
studies as well as with different variables.
Sexual Promiscuity
The Standard College Dictionary defines promiscuity
as, "Indiscriminate, especially in sexual relations."
In
1984, Ronald Reagan worried publicly that Americans were
having too much pre-marital sex.
He said, "Promiscuity has
become acceptable, even stylish" (Stossel, 1997).
The word
promiscuity has been replaced with "sexually active" in
society today.
Scott Stossel says, "Reagan's comments
represent a typical version of the traditional
conservative's interpretation of the sexual revolution"
(Stossel, 1997).
Many liberals would say that the sexual
20
revolution brought about changes for the better, such as
broader rights for homosexuals and a wider use of
contraceptives.
On the other hand, conservatives insist
that the sexual revolution undermined traditional social
and religious bonds and that the loosening of morals caused
the attack of sexually transmitted disease.
People began
to feel free to express their sexuality in society.
Not
everyone displayed a reckless attitude toward sex, but as
time has elapsed there has definitely been a more casual
attitude toward sex.
In a study done by Paul Haerich, 204 college students
were surveyed (79 male, 125 female).
The subjects were
considered to be either intrinsic or extrinsic according to
Allport's Religious Orientation Scale (Haerich, 1992).
The
extrinsic subjects were found more likely to be non-virgins
before they get married.
The intrinsic subjects' high
level of church attendance was related to decreased sexual
promiscuity among them.
The results showed that extrinsic
individuals were more sexually promiscuous because they
focused on his or her own comfort and security rather than
let religion play a factor (Haerich, 1992).
21
CHAPTER V
RELIGIOUS EDUCATION STRATEGIES
REGARDING SEXUAL VALUES AND
MARITAL VALUES
There are certain times in a person's life that can
have an everlasting impact on the way they live their
lives.
The teenage years of a person's life can be a time
of tremendous growth physically, spiritually, and
emotionally.
This time in life can be used to teach,
inculcate, and reinforce strategies regarding their sexual
values.
Youth can learn about sexual values from society,
but these values may leave them feeling empty.
Children
can be taught at a young age to follow the Bible's
guidelines for sex which may help them fight the desires
they have and protect them from a society that tells them
to do what feels good.
There are several programs
available for young children today that can help to counter
the values that are evident in society.
True Love Waits
True Love Waits is a campaign to promote biblical
sexuality and pre-marital abstinence for teens.
22
The True
Love Waits program was launched at the Youth Ministry
National Conference on April 21, 1993 (Lifeway Christian
Resources, 1999). The program has since been adopted by
Roman Catholics in the United States, the Wesleyan Church,
Assemblies of God, the Pentecostal Church of God, and Youth
for Christ (Lifeway Christian Resources, 1999).
True Love
Waits lists its purpose as an international campaign
designed to challenge students to remain sexually abstinent
until marriage.
It then breaks the campaign down into four
parts:
Guide students to make a commitment to sexual
abstinence until marriage. Second, allow students who
have made a commitment to abstinence a chance to
reaffirm that promise and challenge others to do so.
Third, guide parents of students to make or reaffirm a
commitment to biblical standards of sexual behavior
and model a life committed to sexual purity. Finally,
give adults a tangible way to affirm and encourage
students making a commitment to sexual abstinence
until marriage.(LifeWay Christian Resources, 1999, p.
1)
Students are taught basic principles of sex and how God
intends sex to be used in the context of marriage.
True
Love Waits teaches what many conservative Christians
believe to be an important lesson for youth.
The theme for
the program carries an important meaning:
True Love for God. Obeying God's commandments is a
pure way to show your love for him. True love for
yourself. Your concern for yourself can allow you to
choose to avoid that which leads to guilt, broken
23
relationships, disease, and even death. True love for
your family. Honoring and obeying your parents and
siblings is a natural result of honoring God in life.
True love for friends. Sex before marriage always
hurts people. You can choose not to hurt others
through sexual misbehavior. True love for your future
mate and future children. You can begin now loving
the mate and children that God will give you. (LifeWay
Christian Resources, 1999, p. 1)
These principles are taught over a period of time,
usually by youth ministers at a church or by adult Sunday
school teachers.
After children have had an opportunity to
hear the message presented by the campaign, they have an
opportunity to sign a pledge card.
program really leads to.
This is what the entire
Youth pledge, "Believing that
true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my
family, my future mate, and my future children to be
sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a
biblical marriage relationship" (LifeWay Christian
Resources, 1999, p. 1). The key to the program is to honor
the pledge.
Hundreds of thousands of young teenagers have
signed a pledge card to remain abstinent until marriage.
On July 29, 1994, 500,000 signed cards were put on display
at the Capitol Mall in Washington D.C.
This gesture shows
that young people across the country are making commitments
to follow the plan that conservative Christians believe to
be biblically correct (Thomas, 1999).
24
Aim For Success
Aim for Success is a relatively new concept being
taught in many Christian Schools across the country.
Scofield Memorial Church in Dallas, Texas, uses this
curriculum in its Christian school.
They use the materials
designed by Marilyn Morris in her book entitled Choices
That Lead To Life Long Success.
The book makes sure that
children know the true facts about sex, sexually
transmitted diseases, pregnancy, and emotional pain caused
by pre-marital sex.
It also helps to equip children with
the self-esteem, self-discipline, self-control, and
knowledge to make good choices in all areas of their lives.
Morris does not believe a child can be told to just "not do
it."
It is up to those who teach the programs to provide
truth about possible consequences of their actions (Aim for
Success, 1999).
The book and presentations that are given at schools
have earned great reviews from those who have participated.
Paul A. Warren, a pediatrician and author, said, "This book
is truly a book about choices that lead to lifelong
success" (Aim for Success, 1999) . Ninety-five percent of
those who attended the presentation rated it excellent or
good.
Eighty-nine percent indicated that the presentation
25
gave them something new to ponder.
These numbers come from
anonymous surveys taken from the students at the end of
each presentation (Aim for Success, 1999).
This program
has helped teenagers to remain sexually pure and continue
to fight the growing popularity of teenage sexual activity.
Christian Sex Education in the Church
Children are learning about sex from television,
movies, magazines, and even their friends.
Sex education
programs need to be implemented in order for young people
to get correct information about sex.
The most critical
component of a Christian sex education program is
leadership.
Those who lead programs need to understand
that sex deals with much more than just anatomy.
Emotional
factors need to be taken into account and leaders of the
programs must be sensitive, understanding, and competent if
they are going to make students feel comfortable (Brown,
1968).
It is important not to set aside sex education as a
major emphasis.
Sex education needs to be set in a context
of a regular youth fellowship program at the church where
sex is a Christian concern and fits into an ongoing
education program for youth.
26
Brown believes one of the best ways to teach Christian
sex education is through question and answer sessions.
In
these sessions the leader collects anonymous questions from
all in the program.
The leader then answers the questions
in front of the entire group continuing to be sensitive and
assuming that every student was curious about every
question.
The program needs to fit a few basic needs.
First, it should help students to understand human
sexuality in light of the Bible's message and to assist
students in corresponding and dealing with their own
sexuality.
Second, the program needs to help students
understand the processes of reproduction and to see that
this is appropriate for adults in the context of marriage.
Finally, the program should help students express and deal
with additional concerns about sex, which they are able to
bring up in the program (Brown, 1968).
Christian sex
education programs can help to teach youth how God intended
sex to be a beautiful and wonderful experience.
Teaching youth about sex can be a beneficial way to
help to ensure that one aspect of their life will remain
healthy.
Teaching the before-mentioned programs can be
done in a Christian school and can even be done in a church
setting.
One way or another young people need to hear
27
about Christian pre-marital sexual values.
It can be a
corner stone in prevention of any regret later on down the
road when they meet their future mate.
Whether in school
or at church, teenagers can benefit from learning what many
conservative Christians believe to be the correct way to
tell them about sex.
The Responsible Sexuality Program
In 1991 two medical students at the University of
Western Ontario started the Responsible Sexuality Program.
After a few years of revisions, the program was implemented
into the Canadian school system.
The program contained an
emphasis on self-confidence, date rape, and breaking down
sex role stereotypes (Griffiths and Kassirer, 1997),
The
program is short, consisting of three one-hour sessions and
is incorporated into the health component of the physical
education curriculum.
Medical students educated as peer
facilitators work with small groups of between five and
eight ninth graders.
The sessions use student discussions,
scripted role-plays, and anonymous question and answer
sessions concentrating on abstinence and sex stereotypes.
The program also teaches safe sex methods (Griffiths and
Kassirer, 1997).
This brief educational intervention
28
showed positive results.
Females were the most effected by
the program and showed changes in knowledge, behavioral
intent, and attitude toward sex.
The number of students
involved in sexual activity after the program dropped from
around twenty students to twelve students (Griffiths and
Kassirer, 1997).
This is simply a pilot program, but results show that
it can be effective and that there are reasons to further
investigate the programs use in public schools.
Marital Values
Getting married is a natural part of life whether it
takes place at a relatively young age or at a later time in
life.
As people continue to get married year after year
people are also getting divorced year after year.
In the
United States an average of one out of every two marriages
fails.
One possible reason is the lack of knowledge about
marriage.
People are not sure what they should expect when
they get back from their honeymoons.
unique and interesting potential.
"Marriage contains
Marriage is the only
game in town where both players can either win or lose"
(Roberts and Wright, 1978 p. 4).
29
Dr. David and Teresa Ferguson feel that there are four
ingredients that can lead to marital closeness.
is affectionate caring.
The first
It consists of giving one's
partner undivided attention when they are speaking and
giving priority to affectionate time with one another.
Second, vulnerable communication leads to marital
closeness.
Sharing hopes and feelings is a sign of trust
in the relationship.
Then, joint accomplishment can say
that there is an overwhelming need for each other.
Doing
household projects together and setting family goals
together can bring forth closeness.
Finally, mutual giving
to one another can let partners know that they are loved.
Surprising one another with a special gift or doing
anything unexpected can show that focus has been put on
them (Ferguson, 1997).
Preparation for marriage can be a
very beneficial tool leading to a successful marriage and
practicing closeness in a marriage can help with intimacy.
Preparation for Marriage
One of the most common ways to prepare a couple to be
married is through pre-marital counseling.
This is often
done by the minister who will be presiding at the wedding.
The Christian marriage is not a basic binding legal and
30
social contract.
Christians need to understand that
marriage is a covenant made under God.
Such a pledge
endures, not because of force or law, but because an
unconditional covenant has been made (Roberts and Wright,
1978).
Counseling before a marriage can help couples to
understand that marriage is a covenant that needs not to be
broken.
Dr. Larry Crabb writes in his book The Marriage
Builder that the goal of marriage is Spirit Oneness, Soul
Oneness, and Body Oneness (Crabb, 1982).
The deepest needs
of security and significance, in which many are looking for
in a marriage cannot be satisfied by a marriage partner.
We need to turn to God first to satisfy our needs (Crabbs,
1982).
Dr. Crabb also identifies three building blocks
essential to a Christian marriage, the grace of God, true
marriage commitment, and acceptance of one's mate.
God's
grace is a defining factor in Christianity and this grace
can allow two people to find comfort in their marriage.
Spending time and energy in preparing for responsible
sexuality in marriage can provide for a greater chance of
marital happiness than the patterns of pre-marital sexual
promiscuity.
31
CHAPTER VI
CONCLUSION
Because the United States of America continues to be
challenged with problems of sexually transmitted disease, a
growing rate of unsuccessful marriages, and sexual
promiscuity among teenagers, people need to remember that
there are answers.
Conservative Christians believe that
God has set forth a perfect plan in the Bible that can
guide society in a harmless and positive direction.
In
contrast to conservative Christian teachings, society is
filled with images of sexual material, whether magazines or
television.
Conclusions are not clear whether or not
images of sexual activity on television leave a lasting
impression on young teenagers' minds.
Paul Haerich's study
shows that there is a inverse correlation between
religiosity and sexual promiscuity.
Religious sex
education programs can help to prevent teenagers from
making mistakes and provide teenagers with an opportunity
to hear about sex from a Biblical standpoint.
Programs
such as True Love Waits and Aim For Success provide
information and an opportunity for adolescents to make a
commitment regarding their sexual activities.
32
As these
teenagers mature they may enter into the bonds of marriage.
Learning the four marks of real love and learning what is
best for their mates can help to make a successful
marriage.
Most of the conservative Christian community
believes that living life according to the principles of
the Bible and learning the sexual practices conservative
Christians believe to be correct can help youth to be
prepared to face the growing challenges of a sexually
permissive society.
The training programs described to combat sexual
promiscuity and teach teenagers about human sexuality need
to be further investigated.
More research needs to be done
to show the long-term impact of each of the various
training programs.
33
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