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Supporting Parents of Teenagers
Kirsten Asmussen, Judy Corlyon,
Hanan Hauari and Vincent La Placa
Policy Research Bureau
Research Report RR830
Research Report
No 830
Supporting Parents of Teenagers
Kirsten Asmussen, Judy Corlyon,
Hanan Hauari and Vincent La Placa
Policy Research Bureau
The views expressed in this report are the authors’ and do not necessarily reflect those of the Department for
Education and Skills.
© Policy Research Bureau 2007
ISBN 978 1 84478 892 7
Contents
Acknowledgements................................................................................................1
Executive Summary................................................................................................3
Introduction and policy background ...............................................................3
Aims of the study and research methods ........................................................4
Findings ...............................................................................................................4
The literature review................................................................................4
Interviews with service providers ..........................................................5
Interviews with parents ...........................................................................6
Key messages and recommendations ..............................................................7
Chapter One: Introduction ...................................................................................9
1.1
1.2
1.3
1.4
Policy context...........................................................................................9
Supporting parents...................................................................................9
Discouraging anti-social behaviour ......................................................10
What works in supporting parents of teenagers...............................11
Aims and objectives of the current study ..........................................12
Structure of the report ..........................................................................13
Chapter Two: Methodology ...............................................................................15
2.1
2.2
Phase One...............................................................................................15
Literature review and scoping exercise ...............................................16
Interviews with professionals ...............................................................16
Typology of services...............................................................................16
Phase Two ..............................................................................................17
Case study selection ...............................................................................17
Telephone interviews with service staff ...............................................17
Interviews with service providers ........................................................19
Interviews with parents .........................................................................19
Difficulties identifying and accessing respondents.............................20
Data analysis...........................................................................................20
Validation workshop..............................................................................20
Chapter Three: Key Transitions in Adolescent Development ......................23
3.1
3.2
3.3
Introduction ...........................................................................................23
Physical changes associated with adolescence..................................25
Increased growth....................................................................................25
Sexual Maturation ..................................................................................26
Adolescent brain development .............................................................26
Intellectual development .....................................................................28
3.4
Psycho-social development..................................................................30
Parental influence...................................................................................31
Peer Influence .........................................................................................32
Summary............................................................................................................35
Chapter Four: The Parent-Teenager Relationship ..........................................37
4.1
4.2
4.3
4.4
4.5
4.6
4.7
The importance of parents ...................................................................38
‘Storm and stress’ and the parent/child relationship ......................38
Authoritative Parenting........................................................................40
Parental Monitoring..............................................................................44
Ethnicity and culture ............................................................................45
What teenagers want from their parents............................................46
Summary ................................................................................................47
Chapter Five: The needs of parents of teenagers ............................................49
5.1
5.2
5.3
Common stressors .................................................................................49
Parental insecurities ...............................................................................50
Additional stresses .................................................................................52
Families at risk ......................................................................................53
Divorce, remarriage and lone parent families .....................................53
Families with teenage parents...............................................................56
Families with a disabled child...............................................................57
Dysfunctional or ‘fragile’ families.........................................................58
Parental mental health problems and substance abuse issues ...........59
Parenting in poverty ..............................................................................60
Summary of parental needs.................................................................61
Chapter Six: Supporting parents of teenagers.................................................63
6.1
6.2
6.3
6.4
6.5
Parents matter........................................................................................63
Universally available services.............................................................65
Parent skills training ..............................................................................67
Preventive services.................................................................................68
Signposting .............................................................................................68
Services that support adolescent development ...................................68
Targeted services for higher need families .......................................69
Services for families going through a divorce .....................................70
Services for lone parents ........................................................................70
Services for parents of a pregnant teenager .........................................71
Services for teenagers with substance abuse problems.......................71
Specialist services for highly vulnerable families................................72
Services for families living in poverty ..................................................73
Characteristics of both targeted and universal services...................74
Key messages.........................................................................................75
Chapter Seven: Professionals’ perceptions of parents’ needs .......................77
7.1
7.2
7.3
7.4
7.5
7.6
7.7
7.8
7.9
7.10
7.11
7.12
7.13
7.14
7.15
Introduction ...........................................................................................78
The case study services.........................................................................78
Why parents of teenagers seek support ............................................81
A period of transition.............................................................................81
Actual or anticipated problems.............................................................82
Parents’ own issues ................................................................................83
Addressing the needs of parents of teenagers ..................................84
Dispensing support ................................................................................84
Relating support .....................................................................................85
Reflecting support ..................................................................................86
Times when parents of teenagers are most likely to need support88
Reaching parents: advertising and referrals.....................................89
‘Drip-feeding’..........................................................................................89
Personal contact......................................................................................90
Paid advertising......................................................................................90
Referrals ..................................................................................................91
Reaching specific groups ....................................................................92
Black and ethnic minority groups.........................................................92
Fathers .....................................................................................................95
Social class and parenting support .......................................................98
Reaching the hard to reach ....................................................................99
Parental ability........................................................................................99
Models of support...............................................................................100
Courses and individual support .........................................................100
Drop-in service .....................................................................................101
Helplines ...............................................................................................102
Delivery................................................................................................102
Staff.......................................................................................................104
Location of provision..........................................................................105
Schools...................................................................................................106
Children’s centres.................................................................................107
Home visiting .......................................................................................107
Type and source of provision .............................................................108
Universal and targeted services ..........................................................108
Voluntary and statutory sector provision ..........................................109
Working with other agencies..............................................................111
Barriers to seeking help.......................................................................113
Lack of knowledge ...............................................................................113
Shame, stigma, fear and failure...........................................................113
Previous experience .............................................................................115
Media reporting....................................................................................115
Timing ...................................................................................................115
Link to education..................................................................................116
Future provision...................................................................................117
Overcoming reluctance to seek help...................................................117
Involving teenagers..............................................................................118
Providing more funding ......................................................................119
Making messages clear ........................................................................120
7.16 Key messages from interviews with professionals .........................121
Chapter Eight: The perceptions of parents ....................................................125
8.1
8.2
8.3
8.4
Introduction .........................................................................................125
Generic services...................................................................................126
Service characteristics ..........................................................................126
Why parents attended the course .......................................................128
What parents learned from the service...............................................130
What parents liked best about the service..........................................134
What parents liked least about the service.........................................135
The response of fathers ........................................................................136
Prevention .............................................................................................137
‘Courses’ for horses ..............................................................................138
Summary of findings from generic service interviews .....................139
Targeted Services ................................................................................140
Service characteristics and participants..............................................140
Counselling Support ............................................................................141
Substance abuse....................................................................................145
YOT Support .........................................................................................147
Common experiences...........................................................................150
Summary of findings from targeted service interviews....................153
Key messages from the interviews with parents ............................154
Chapter Nine: Key messages and recommendations....................................157
9.1
9.2
9.3
Summary of key messages.................................................................157
Messages regarding service provision................................................159
Recommendations...............................................................................160
Improving awareness ..........................................................................161
Preventative services............................................................................161
Targeted interventions.........................................................................162
Conclusion ...........................................................................................164
A final recommendation ......................................................................164
Some concluding thoughts ..................................................................164
References ...........................................................................................................167
Appendix 1: Services supporting parents of teenagers .................................198
1 Exemplary programmes from the United States of America.............198
2 UK services ..............................................................................................201
Appendix 2: Topic guide for in-depth interviews with professionals in the
voluntary and statutory sectors.........................................................................222
Appendix 3: Topic guides for telephone interviews with frontline staff,
strategic staff and stakeholders ........................................................................226
Appendix 4: Topic guide for in-depth interviews with service providers..240
Appendix 5: Topic guide for in-depth interviews with parents ..................244
Acknowledgements
We are especially grateful to all those who agreed to take part in the research:
the professionals interviewed at the beginning of the study who pointed us in
the right direction; the frontline workers, strategic workers and stakeholders
in the services used as case studies; and the parents who had used these
services. All were generous in giving up their time, and without their help
this report would not have been possible.
We should also like to thank members of our Steering Group who provided
valuable guidance throughout. Special thanks are due to Nigel Gee and
Emma Garrett for their patience and encouragement while supervising the
research.
Judy Corlyon
Project Director
Policy Research Bureau
December 2006
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Executive Summary
Introduction and policy background
Adolescence is a period of significant transition for young people and their
families. During this time, teenagers experience rapid physical, intellectual
and psychosocial change at a pace unrivalled by any other period in their
development except infancy. Some teenagers appear to manage these
changes effortlessly, while others struggle. All teenagers, however, need
support and those in the best position to help them are most often their
parents.
The UK Government recognises this fact and is now in the process of
developing a range of policies and initiatives which aim to improve outcomes
for young people by providing support to their parents. Central to these
policies is the Change for Children programme introduced through the Every
Child Matters Green Paper. This initiative supports child and adolescent
development by promoting five core outcomes1 through a continuum of
universal and targeted support provided to parents and their children at the
local community level (ECM, 2006).
In a similar vein, the Respect Agenda, which sets out a number of measures to
address anti-social behaviour in young people, commits to providing a range
of services to parents of young people that support them in the parenting
process. Part of this programme is to establish a National Academy for
Parenting Practitioners. It is hoped that this academy will bring evidencebased practice to trainers of a variety of practitioners involved in family work
(including social workers, clinical psychologists, community safety officers
and youth justice workers) who can then promote and teach parenting skills
that are effective and responsible. It will also carry out research on effective
practice in working with parents.
The UK government is also committed to developing services that encourage
parental involvement in their children’s education. In particular, the
Department for Education and Skills’ (DfES) Five-Year Strategy (2004)
recognises that parents need ‘good quality help and advice’ and has made
support for parents during their child’s teenage years a particular priority. For
this reason, the DfES commissioned the Policy Research Bureau to review
what is currently known about ‘best practice’ in supporting parents with
teenagers in order to inform the development of services for families with
young people.
1
These outcomes are Be Healthy, Be Safe, Enjoy and Achieve, Make a Positive
Contribution and Achieve Economic Well-being.
3
Aims of the study and research methods
In order to understand the ways in which services can best support the needs
of families with teenagers, this study seeks to understand ‘what works’ and
‘what could work’ from three separate perspectives:
1) The evidence-base. This report begins with a comprehensive literature
review that considers the most recent research regarding adolescent
development, the parent/teenager relationship and what is currently
known through research and evaluation about services for parents
with teenagers.
2) The nature of the current supply. The report also provides an overview
of the results of a brief scoping exercise that considers what services
are currently available in the US and UK for parents of teenagers. This
overview is then followed by an in-depth examination of ten services
for families with teenagers that were sampled specifically for this
study.
3) The nature of existing demand. The report also considers the current
need for services from the perspective of practitioners and stakeholders
in the ten case studies, as well as 14 parents who used these services.
After exploring ‘what works’ from these three perspectives separately, the
report then triangulates the findings into a set of key messages and concludes
with a number of recommendations.
Findings
The literature review
The literature review brought together the most recent evidence regarding (a)
adolescent development in general, (b) the ways in which parents support
their teenagers, (c) the needs of parents with teenagers and (d) services that
are effective in meeting the needs of families with teenagers. The findings
from this exercise suggest the following:
• Hormonal processes that begin in early adolescence trigger a series of
physical, cognitive and social transitions. In particular, recent research
suggests that the adolescent brain goes through a period of physical reorganisation that makes teenagers more emotional and increases their
willingness to engage in risk-taking behaviour.
• These physical and psychosocial changes expose adolescents to a
number of developmental risks that include academic failure,
engagement in anti-social behaviour and unsafe sex. Vulnerability to
these risks begins in early adolescence, peaks around the age of 15 and
then slowly decreases as the teenager matures.
• The extent to which teenagers avoid the risks associated with
adolescence is largely influenced by environmental factors that include
the quality of their home life and their relationship with their parents.
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•
•
•
•
•
•
In particular, adolescents benefit from a set of parental practices that
include both an authoritative style of parenting and a consistent system
of monitoring.
Parental practices that are either highly punitive or extremely lax,
however, are likely to put teenagers at developmental risk. For this
reason, some parents are likely to benefit from perspectives and
strategies that enable them to parent more effectively.
Parents struggling with personal stresses are more likely to have
difficulty parenting their teenager effectively. In these instances,
parents are likely to benefit from additional support that enables them
to cope and improves their relationship with their adolescent child.
Families experiencing high levels of stress are likely to require greater
levels of support that occur over a relatively long period of time and
target a range of specific problems.
Research findings also suggest that services offering generic parenting
advice and support can improve adolescent outcomes, as well as
prevent problems from arising in the first place.
Effective provision for families with teenagers often supplies a range of
support that includes advice on specific issues and practices (e.g.
dispensing), the opportunity to reflect upon why these practices are
effective (e.g. reflecting) and practices that validate them in their role as
a parent (e.g. relating).
Interviews with service providers
A number of key findings also emerged from the interviews with the
professionals and service providers who participated in this study. These
findings suggest:
• Parents with teenagers generally seek support for one of two reasons:
1. In anticipation of the difficulties associated with adolescence as a
way of preventing problems from occurring.
2. Because of a specific problem with their teenager that is causing
disruption in their family.
• Parents are likely to want help at various points throughout their
adolescent’s development and this may occur when their child is as
young as ten or as old as 20.
• Information provided to parents at the onset of adolescence is more
effective than support and advice provided during the teenage years,
when problems may have already manifested themselves.
• Parents are sometimes reluctant to seek help because they are ashamed
of the fact that, despite having been a parent for so long, they are still
encountering problems with their children. For this reason, services
aimed at parents with teenagers should be non-stigmatising.
• Current levels of provision for parents of teenagers are still very sparse.
• A wide range of services is required to support a wide range of needs.
This includes preventative services as well as intensive, targeted
interventions.
5
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
For the most part, professionals thought that services for parents of
teenagers should be delivered by the voluntary sector, since they are
perceived as less threatening and less judgemental than are those
delivered by statutory agencies. This does not mean, however, that
statutory organisations should not be involved in the delivery of
services. An ideal scenario would involve joint working between the
two sectors.
Word-of-mouth and personal recommendations appear to be the most
effective way of advertising services.
Services should be easily accessible and offered in venues within the
local community and near to home.
Services should be offered at times which suit parents of teenagers –
during school hours and in the evenings (to meet the needs of working
mothers and fathers).
Staff should have experience of working and/or living with young
people and an understanding of the difficulties faced by parents of
teenagers.
Services should provide parents with a combination of support and
advice that includes basic information (dispensing advice), an
explanation of why teenagers behave as they do (reflecting advice),
and the opportunity to discuss their own specific problems (relating
support).
Parents of teenagers from black and minority ethnic (BME) groups are
not especially well served, although many of their problems are
identical to those of white parents. For this reason, BME parents
should be accommodated within mainstream provision, but measures
must be taken to ensure that service providers are suitably trained and
sensitive to relevant cultural and religious factors.
Fathers are less likely to attend courses, but are more likely to access
support through helplines and written information.
Interviews with parents
In many respects, the findings from the interviews with the 14 parents
participating in this study support the themes identified in the literature
review and the interviews with practitioners. However, a few additional
themes were identified:
• Parents’ satisfaction with a particular service is directly related to the
extent to which it meets their needs. However, parents attend services
for a wide variety of reasons. In this respect, ‘one size does not fit all’
since parents are likely to differ in terms of the kinds of support they
want and require.
• Parents resent provision that they believe is stigmatising or blaming.
For this reason, support for parents of teenagers should be offered in a
way that is positive rather than punitive.
• Intense problems require intense interventions. In particular, problems
involving academic failure (especially ADHD), substance abuse or
juvenile delinquency are likely to require interventions that include
6
•
•
multiple components, are offered over a long period of time, and
address a range of family problems.
More support is required for teenagers who struggle in school.
Although this study sampled only a small number of parents, six of the
14 participants had a teenage child who had a school-related problem.
In these instances, the parents felt that the educational system had
failed them in providing support for their child’s difficulty and also in
liaising with other services.
Parents want and benefit from preventative services. Nine of the 14
families participating in this study either accessed support for
preventative reasons or wished that these services had been available
when their child was younger.
Key messages and recommendations
Through the triangulation of the findings from the literature review and the
interviews with professionals and parents, several key messages emerge
which have bearing on future policy and practice:
• Different parents have different needs. For this reason, a wide range of
services should be made available to families with teenagers of all ages.
• Preventative services are wanted and needed. The importance of
prevention was a particularly strong theme throughout the study. This
finding suggests that services that include a preventative component
should be a priority for future policy.
• There are not enough targeted services. In addition, when targeted
support is available, it is still not adequate in meeting the needs of
many families.
• Parents benefit from a mixture of support. Parents often seek support
because they want advice (which includes general information and
strategies), understanding (parents with teenagers want to know why
the strategy works) and validation (e.g. support that provides them
with the opportunity to share their concerns and improves their
confidence).
• Parents will not attend services that they perceive as judgemental or
stigmatising. This means that services should aim to validate and
empower parents, rather than highlight their inadequacies.
• Services need to be accessible and friendly. Services should be
provided in a way that is convenient, preferably in the local
community and at a time that is convenient for both working and nonworking parents. In addition, parents are more likely to value support
from non-judgmental professionals who have an established history of
working with teenagers and their families.
• Word of mouth is the most effective means of advertising services.
Services need to make sure that they are meeting the needs of parents
who attend them, in order to receive further recommendations.
• Parents need and want to know about teenage brain development.
Professionals felt that this knowledge was an important part of their
7
service provision and the parents were enthusiastic when this
information was provided to them.
These key messages suggest that much more is needed in the way of support
for parents of teenagers. In fact, the findings indicate that parents would
benefit from support on three levels:
1. Universal support that improves parents’ awareness of adolescent
development and the needs of teenagers. More needs to be done to
ensure that parents receive responsible messages about parenting
and the important role they play in their teenagers’ lives.
Organisations such as Parentline Plus are particularly well suited to
provide all parents with general guidance and advice on the needs
of adolescents through newsletters and media campaigns.
2. Preventative support that is universally available at the
community level throughout England. In particular, the parents
participating in this study felt that universally-offered preventative
support, in the form of parenting classes, was especially needed
during the transition to secondary school. In addition, these
parents stated that they would not mind attending six or more
classes if they felt that the information was relevant and effective.
Such support should offer a mixture of advice, as well as provide
parents with the opportunity to share their own experiences.
3. Targeted support that is sufficiently resourced so that it can
flexibly address the needs of families with teenagers confronting
very serious problems. Particular gaps in service provision include
support for families with teenagers who have ADHD and services
for parents with children who engage in criminal or sub-criminal
behaviour. The report concludes with some specific
recommendations for future interventions that are proven to be
effective through evaluations conducted in the United States.
8
Chapter One: Introduction
1.1
Policy context
Parenting classes and parenting fines, introduced in the Queen’s Speech for
the State Opening of Parliament (2006), are the two most recent instalments in
UK policy aimed at reducing crime and improving outcomes for families with
teenage children. While on the one hand these policies highlight the
importance of parenting, on the other hand they have been interpreted as
meaning that some parents are not ‘good enough.’ Together, they reflect a
growing interest in what best supports youth development and the ways in
which families can be supported.
Over the past ten years, these concerns have developed from two separate
lines of policy: 1) initiatives that support children and their parents and 2)
legislation that aims to reduce youth crime by holding parents responsible for
their children’s behaviour. Initially, the majority of services were targeted at
parents of young children, through large-scale programmes such as Sure
Start, which addresses the needs of families with children under the age of
four, as well as the Children’s Fund (aimed at families with children between
the ages of 6 and 14) and On Track which provides support to children aged 4
to 12 and their families.
More recently, the attention has turned to the needs of young people in the
2005 Green Paper, Youth Matters. In particular, this report highlights the
importance of parents in adolescent development and the need for parenting
programmes to support them in their role. Following this, the subsequent
Youth Matters: Next Steps (DfES, 2006) sets out a number of innovations and
changes to services for young people aimed at improving outcomes for them.
As part of this package, parents will be able to access information and advice
so that they can support their teenagers in making appropriate career
decisions.
Supporting parents
In addition to large-scale initiatives, key policy documents, such as the Every
Child Matters Green Paper (ECM 2006), have identified the need to support
parents as a way of improving outcomes for children and young people. As
Chapter Three states, ‘in the past, public policy has paid insufficient attention
to supporting parents and helping families find solutions for themselves’ and
then proposes a ‘shift away from associating parenting support with crisis
interventions to a more consistent offer of parenting support.’ Similarly, the
Five-Year Strategy for Children and Learners (DfES, 2004) offers parents ‘better
support with bringing up children, and good quality help and advice about
childcare and other choices’ with a commitment to developing ‘a much more
coherent set of services both to support parents and to involve them
properly..... at all stages of education.’ (p. 22)
9
As part of the Five-Year Strategy, the Government has committed £680
million for the development of extended services in schools from 2006 to 2008.
One of the five core offers required from schools is the provision of parenting
and family support. This involves providing child behaviour management
courses and parenting skills programmes for parents of children of varying
ages, including teenagers. Transition information sessions for parents of
children in the reception class and in Year Seven are a further key feature of
the extended schools core offer. The aims of these sessions are to: 1) build
effective partnerships between parents and their child’s school; 2) engage
parents in discussion about wider parenting issues; and 3) provide
information on the wider services available for parents, through schools and
other local and national services. Voluntary organisations, such as the
National Family and Parenting Institute (NFPI)2 and Parenting UK (formerly
the Parenting Education and Support Forum), support local authorities and
schools in the delivery of these sessions. Currently, these sessions are taking
place as demonstration projects in ten local authorities, but the Extended
Schools commitment is to offer support to parents in all schools by 2010.
Most recently, the Pre-Budget Report of December 2005 (HM Treasury and
DfES, 2005) committed £20 million to pilot Parent School Advisers in primary
and secondary schools in 20 local authorities from October 2006. Their role
will be largely preventative in supporting children and families who are
vulnerable to a variety of risks associated with less optimal outcomes. Such
support might include a parenting programme or mentoring for the parent or
child.
Other initiatives aimed at supporting parents over particular issues have also
emerged. The Teenage Pregnancy Strategy, amongst its other provisions,
commissioned a national campaign to help parents discuss sex and
relationships with their children (Social Exclusion Unit, 1999). More recently,
the Public Health White Paper Choosing Health (2004) re-affirmed the
Government’s intention to support parents in helping their children make
informed choices on issues such as sex and relationships. Encouragement and
support for parents to help them to discuss sex and relationship issues with
their children has subsequently been made available through the ‘Time to
Talk’ initiative supported by the Parentline Plus helpline and website.
Discouraging anti-social behaviour
Alongside these policy initiatives, which are designed to support all parents,
are those which focus on parents in the prevention of offending and antisocial behaviour by young people. The most controversial of these are
Parenting Orders that were first introduced in 1998 under the Crime and
Disorder Act (1998). Such Orders provide judges and magistrates the option
of issuing parents with children between the ages of 10 and 17 with a civil
penalty in response to their child’s (not their own) anti-social behaviour.
2
Now known as the Family and Planning Institute
10
Originally, these Orders were enforced in cases of actual criminal misconduct,
but in 2003 were extended to include truancy and other educational
misdemeanours.
Parenting Orders carry with them a requirement that parents engage with a
parenting support and education service, in a form directed by the court or
their local YOT (Youth Offending Team), for some period, which is generally
around three months. Falling under the category of ‘supportive
interventions’, Parenting Orders are not prescribed as a form of punishment,
but rather as ‘a positive way of bolstering parental responsibility and helping
parents develop their skills’ (Respect Task Force, 2006). However, failure to
comply with the terms of the Order can result in criminal ‘breach’
proceedings, necessitating a return to court that may lead to a fine or to the
issuance of a further Order. For this reason, many have criticized the
legislation as simply a means for penalizing parents for the crimes of their
children (Coleman and Roker, 2006).
More recently, the Respect Action Plan (www.respect.gov.uk) has set out
national measures for improving parenting by providing additional support
to those who might need it the most, including parents who might be deemed
‘irresponsible.’ Such measures continue to include Parenting Orders, but also
involve Parenting Contracts (a voluntary contract between parents and YOTS,
or parents and schools), family counselling and parenting training
programmes. In most instances, these services are managed and delivered by
YOTs at the local authority level.
The most recent additions to the Respect agenda include the roll-out of a
National Academy for Parenting Practitioners and the introduction of
Parenting Fines. By autumn 2007, the Government hopes to have established
a training academy that will train a range of professionals involved with
supporting parents and families that include social workers, clinical
psychologists, community safety officers and youth justice workers. On the
more punitive side, Parenting Fines are currently being debated as ‘on-thespot’ monetary penalties to parents of children who commit crimes or breach
their ASBOs (Anti-social Behaviour Orders).
1.2
What works in supporting parents of teenagers
Although many parents state that the point at which they need more support
or advice is during the adolescent years, support for parents of teenagers is
less widely available than support for parents of much younger children
(Henricson and Roker, 2000). While a number of recently commissioned
studies consider the needs of parents in general (Ghate and Hazel, 2002;
Moran, Ghate and Vane der Merwe, 2004; Quinton, 2004) none of these
specifically address the needs of parents of teenagers. Given the fact that
more initiatives are now being developed for parents of teenagers, more
needs to be known about their needs. For this reason, the Department of
11
Education and Skills commissioned the Policy Research Bureau to consider
more specifically what constitutes best practice in supporting parents of
teenagers.
1.3
Aims and objectives of the current study
The primary aim of this study is to provide evidence-based pointers to assist
policy makers in developing the provision of services giving advice,
information and guidance to parents of teenagers. In doing so, this study
intends to establish the extent and nature of parents’ need for support services
and to identify what constitutes effective practice in the provision of such
services to the parents of teenage children. On a more specific level, it seeks
to understand support for parents of teenagers from three separate
perspectives:
1. The evidence-base. In order to understand what is already known
about the needs of families with teenagers, the study begins with the
findings from the literature review that considers adolescent
development in general, the ways in which parents support this
process and the efficacy of provision targeted at families with
teenagers. In this respect, the literature review aims to provide an
understanding of ‘what is needed,’ ‘what works’ and ‘what could
work’ in terms of support for parents of teenagers.
2. The nature of the current supply. In order to understand what is
currently available, this study provides a brief overview of services for
families with teenagers in England and abroad. This is followed by an
in-depth examination of ten services sampled for this study that offer a
range of support to parents of teenagers, including generically focused
parenting courses as well as individually tailored counselling services.
Each one of these services is considered in terms of its basic
characteristics (i.e. what is provided and why and how it is provided)
and the extent to which providers and stakeholders consider it to be
effective in meeting the needs of parents with teenagers.
3. The nature of current demand. In order to understand what parents
actually want and need, we first consider what service providers and
‘experts’ think parents of teenagers need and the extent to which
services are currently meeting these needs. We then consider the views
of parents who have used these services, first in terms of why they
accessed them and then in terms of the extent to which the service was
successful in meeting their needs.
In exploring these perspectives, we aim to gather sufficient evidence that will
allow us to make suggestions concerning effective and promising
interventions that support parents and their teenage children. To this end, we
do not intend to produce a simple definition of ‘best practice,’ but rather an
understanding of how the needs of parents from diverse backgrounds and
circumstances can be met through a constellation of effective services. This
understanding is then translated into a set of recommendations that may be
12
used to inform policy and practice in supporting teenagers and their families
at both the national and local authority level.
1.4
Structure of the report
The next chapter provides an in-depth description of the methods used for
this study. This is followed by the findings from the literature review that are
presented in four chapters that describe: 1) adolescent development, 2) the
parent-teenager relationship 3) the needs of parents with teenage children and
4) the evidence base regarding the effectiveness of services targeted at families
with teenagers. Chapters Seven and Eight then present the findings from the
interviews with service providers and parents respectively. Chapter Nine
concludes the report with a summary of the key messages arising from the
findings and a set of recommendations for taking them forward through
policy and practice.
13
14
Chapter Two: Methodology
2.1
Phase One
Literature review and scoping exercise
This study was conducted in two phases. The primary aim of Phase One was
understand the supply of services currently available for families with
teenagers. This phase included the literature review and a scoping exercise of
provision currently available in the UK for parents of teenagers. In searching
for services, the following definition of parenting support was used:
Any intervention for parents or carers (or about parenting) aimed at reducing
risks and promoting protective factors for their children in relation to social,
physical and emotional well being. (Moran et al, 2004)
In addition, the scoping exercise only considered services that included
provision for families with children aged between 13 and 17. The rationale
for this was the vulnerability of this age group for engaging in substance
misuse and risky sexual activity, alongside the educational transitions
affecting them.
Both the literature review and the scoping exercise involved manual and
computerised methods, searching both academic (Ovid, Science Direct) and
Internet data bases (e.g. Google scholar) as well as books and policy reports.
The literature review began with the search terms ‘parents,’ ‘teenager,’
‘adolescent,’ ‘services’ and ‘support.’ Unfortunately, these initial terms
yielded very few usable results, since most of the hits involved services for
teenage parents, rather than services for parents of teenagers. For this reason,
the search strategy shifted for each of the separate risk factors associated with
adolescence, involving terms such as ‘adolescence,’ ‘anti-social behaviour,’
‘parents’ and ‘services.’ In the end, ten separate searches were conducted
considering services for parents of teenagers under the categories of
‘substance abuse,’ ‘anti-social behaviour,’ ‘monitoring,’ ‘authoritative
parenting,’ ‘grandparents’ (services for parents of teenage mothers), ‘sexual
health,’ ‘divorce,’ ‘abuse,’ ‘single parent’ and ‘lone parent,’ ‘suicide,’ ‘mental
health,’ and ‘adolescence’ in general. To ensure that the review included the
most recent research, the literature review was restricted between the years
2000 – 2006, but was then expanded to include key studies that predated this
period. In sum, over 300 references were consulted for this report. The
findings from the literature review are presented in the next four chapters.
The scoping exercise utilised a similar strategy, entering combinations of the
terms ‘teenager,’ ‘adolescent,’ ‘parent’ and ‘services’ on Internet databases.
Interviews with professionals (see below) also provided us with information
regarding services available to families with teenagers. These search
strategies resulted in the identification of 67 UK and US –based services that
15
are summarised in Appendix 1. The findings from this exercise also informed
our selection of the case-study services (see below).
Interviews with professionals
During Phase One, we also conducted personal, semi-structured, face-to-face
interviews with nine representatives from a number of organisations that had
a theoretical or practical interest in support services for parents of teenagers.
The questions used for these interviews are provided in Appendix 2. The
purpose of the interviews was three-fold. First, we aimed to understand the
respondents’ views regarding what constituted effective practice for the
parents of teenagers. Second, we wished to identify relevant parenting
support services known to these organisations and any recommendations on
which services might be included in the case studies in Phase Two. Third, we
were hoping to draw on existing knowledge of the respondents in these
organisations to identify key frontline staff and other stakeholders for
interview in Phase Two.
Typology of services
The information gained from both the scoping exercise and literature review
was then used to produce a rough typology of services that informed the
selection of ten case studies that were conducted in Phase Two. The factors
we considered in developing this typology included the following:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Provider: local or national service /voluntary or statutory organisation
Location: region within the UK
Focus: universal (open to all) or targeted (designed to meet the needs
of specific groups of parents )
Timing: early (preventative) or crisis intervention
Objective: change in attitude, change in behaviour, enhancement of
skills, or provision of information
Referral mechanism: agency or self-referral
Attendance: compulsory or voluntary
Delivery: group work, individual support or remote but responsive
support (e.g. helplines and internet sites)
Trigger for accessing the service
16
2.2
Phase Two
Case study selection
The primary aim of Phase Two was to explore further the current demand for
services for parents with teenagers, from the perspective of both service
providers and parents. The first task of this phase of the investigation was the
selection of ten services for in–depth study. In order to guarantee that
different types of intervention were included in the case studies, we used the
information obtained in Phase 1 to develop a system for categorising services.
Although the intention was always to conduct ten case studies, we initially
selected twelve services because we were aware that service providers might
not wish to participate or might be difficult to contact. Following telephone
calls to all twelve services, we were able to identify the primary operational
(frontline) worker and enlist their support for the study. Upon further
investigation, however, it became clear that two of the services would be
difficult to study. One provided a telephone helpline and, in view of their
guarantee of confidentiality to callers, it was not possible for them to provide
us with details of any parent participants. In addition, this service had been
recently evaluated through a separate investigation, so we felt that there was
sufficient information regarding the service currently. The second service was
closed for a lengthy period over the summer months and was therefore
unable to supply us with information during our data collection period. Both
were replaced with services which did not adversely affect selection in terms
of obtaining the spread of services we were looking for. Table 2.1 provides an
overview of the services ultimately chosen for this study.
Telephone interviews with service staff
In order to understand fully the nature of each service, we carried out a short
(20-minute) qualitative telephone interview with a primary frontline worker.
At this time, we also asked for contact details for a key strategic worker in the
service, for one or two stakeholders and for two individual parents (or couples)
who were recent service users. Short qualitative telephone interviews were
then carried out with the strategic worker and the stakeholders.
Table 2.1: The characteristics of parenting services chosen for the ten case studies
Service
Provider
Location
Focus
Timing
Purpose
17
Referral
Attend-
Delivery
Reason
process
Self
ance
Voluntary
Parenting
Skills
Training
Self;
Agency
Prevention/
early
intervention
Parenting
Skills
Training
Targeted
Intervention
E.
Midlands
Urban
Universal
Statutory
South
Voluntary
local (but
supplies
national
training)
Large
national
voluntary
E.
Midlands
1.
Voluntary
large
national
North
Urban &
rural
Universal
Prevention
early
intervention
Parenting
Skills
Training
2.
Statutory
W.
Midlands
Urban
Targeted
Prevention
early
intervention
3.
Statutory
local
W.
Midlands
Urban
Universal
4.
Voluntary
local
London
Urban
5.
Voluntary
local (but
supplies
national
training)
6.
7.
8.
Urban
London
+ North
Groups
General
Voluntary
Groups
Printed
matter
Self;
Agency
Voluntary
Groups
Email
Printed
matter
Children with
mental
health
problems
General.
Solution
focussed
therapy
Self;
Agency
Voluntary
One to one
Counselling
Prevention
Parenting
Skills
Training
Self +
other
agencies
Voluntary
Groups
Targeted
Prevention/
early
intervention
Improve
child’s
behaviour
Agency
Voluntary
and
compulsory
Group/one
to one/
Parents of
youth
offenders
Universal,
but
targeted
at BME
groups
Targeted
Prevention/
early
intervention
Parenting
Skills
Training
Self
Voluntary
Groups
Early
intervention
Preventative/
Educational
Self/
Agency
Voluntary
Group
Information
on teenage
issues +
cultural
dimension
General but
specific
sensitivities
to gender,
disability
sexual
orientation,
ethnic
minorities
Sexual and
personal
education
Targeted
Mainly
crisis.
Some early
intervention
Self
Agency
Networking
Voluntary
1-1
Groups
Telephone
Drug or
alcohol use
of child.
General info.
Specific
event
Targeted
Crisis &
early
intervention
Behaviour
Parent/child
relationship
Skills (of
parents)
Provision of
information
Parental
skills
Provision of
information
Self
YOT
Voluntary
1-1
Groups
Info sharing
Substance
abuse
Urban
9.
10.
Voluntary
local org
(funding
from stat
sector)
North
Voluntary
E.
Midlands
Urban
local
Urban
Drugs, under
achievement,
challenging
behaviour &
bereavement
General
Appendix 3 provides a copy of the topic guide used for the telephone
interviews. This topic guide was tailored to each type of respondent
(frontline, strategic, or stakeholder), but utilised the same core set of
questions. The objective was to obtain information regarding the basics of the
service provision (delivery, referral, access, timing, etc.), as well as the
interviewees’ definitions of their users’ needs and the extent to which they
believed they were effective in meeting these needs. Respondents were also
asked to highlight issues regarding staff recruitment, retention and training;
identify any gaps in provision known to them; and voice their opinions on
18
how effective practice could be further developed within or outside the
current range of voluntary and statutory organisations and within the remit of
current policy.
During the telephone interviews, arrangements were also made to conduct an
in-depth, semi-structured interview with one service provider from each
service and two parent users. It had also been our intention to carry out
interviews with the children of these parents, who may, or may not, have
been service users themselves. However, this proved to be impossible (see
below). Table 2.2 provides an overview of the numbers of service providers
and parents who participated in this study.
Table 2.2 Overview of interview participants
Telephone interviews
Strategic
Stakeholders
Frontline staff
personnel
9
9
10
Face-to-face interviews
Providers
Users (parents)
9*
14
* One provider interviewed worked in two of the case study services
Interviews with service providers
The purpose of the interviews with service providers was to clarify the
information gathered during the telephone interviews, as well as gain further
insight into their opinion regarding key issues. Service providers were also
asked to provide an anonymised example of a situation where their service
successfully addressed the needs of a family, and another example of where it
was less successful. All of the interviews took place on the service premises
and were tape-recorded with the respondent’s permission. The typical length
of the interviews was one and a half hours. A copy of the topic guide used for
the interviews is in Appendix 4.
Interviews with parents
Each service was asked to provide the contact details of two families who
would be willing to participate in an in-depth interview. Five services
successfully recruited two parents to take part in the interviews, but in four
instances, only one parent was able to participate within the time-frame
established for the study. One service was not able to provide the names of
any willing parent, thus resulting in a final total of 14 parents who
participated in the in-depth interviews. Mothers participated in all of the
interviews, and in three instances, the father was also present. All of the
interviews took place in the parents’ home and were tape-recorded with their
permission. The typical length of the interviews was 45 minutes.
The topic guides used for these in-depth interviews (see Appendix 5) were
designed to consider each parent’s perception of the service – in terms of what
they knew about it, why they used it in the first place, and how they felt about
19
its cost. Parents were also asked to provide examples of how the service did
and did not meet their needs.
Difficulties identifying and accessing respondents
Obtaining the details for the strategic person was, in most cases, a relatively
straightforward process, but providers typically struggled to identify even
one stakeholder. Identifying parents inevitably took some time as permission
for us to contact them had first to be obtained. In one case, the contact details
of only one parent could be given as the ‘course’ had only involved two
parents of whom one did not wish to participate in the study. In another case,
no parents’ details were provided, because the service providers ultimately
decided that this would compromise their confidential relationships with
them. On two additional occasions, parents cancelled the appointment
shortly before the interview was scheduled to take place and then proved
impossible to contact.
On the whole, however, parents were willing to be interviewed and were very
helpful during the process. Originally, it was intended that ten teenagers
whose parents had used one of the case study services would also participate
in an in-depth interview. The purpose was to explore their perceptions of the
impact of the intervention on themselves and their parents. Unfortunately, it
was not possible to find any teenager who was able to participate in the
interview because they were either not available, or because they were not
interested. For this reason, this part of the study was abandoned, with the
sponsor’s agreement.
Data analysis
All qualitative interviews were taped with the respondent’s permission, and
transcribed in full and verbatim. They were then analysed using the
‘framework’ technique (Ritchie and Spencer, 1994). This involves interview
transcripts being indexed (a form of qualitative coding) according to key
themes, and the indexed data transferred onto charts that allow collective
(and creative) review of the data by the team. In this way key themes do not
get missed by the researchers, and, conversely, interpretations are not given
undue weight within the wider context of the messages as a whole.
Validation workshop
On completion of a draft report of our findings, we convened a chaired group
discussion for the sponsors and the practitioners involved in the case studies
(one per service). The aim of this discussion was to validate our findings and
to explore any areas meriting further attention. Seven practitioners and five
members from the DfES attended this workshop to discuss the key messages
arising from this study, and consider ways in which they could be developed
into future policy and practice. By and large, the practitioners agreed with
20
the findings and their remarks are reflected in the recommendations that form
the conclusion of the report.
21
22
Chapter Three: Key Transitions in Adolescent
Development
Box 3.1: Key findings regarding adolescent development
This chapter summarises the findings from the first part of the literature
review that considers the most recent research regarding adolescent
development. Key messages for policy and practice include the following:
• Hormonal processes that begin in early adolescence trigger a series
of physical, cognitive and social transitions.
• Recent research suggests that the adolescent brain goes through a
period of increased plasticity and restructuring that is determined by
both genetic and environmental factors.
• These changes expose adolescents to a number of developmental
risks that include academic failure, engaging in anti-social behaviour
and unsafe sex.
• Vulnerability to these risks begins in early adolescence, peaks
around the age of 15 and then slowly decreases as the teenager
matures.
• The extent to which teenagers avoid the risks associated with
adolescence is largely influenced by a set of educational and sociocultural factors that are determined and moderated by their parents.
• While peers are more influential during adolescence than they are
during any other point in child development, they are still not nearly
as influential as parents are. In fact, parenting processes moderate
the effects peers have on their teenager children.
• This evidence suggests that experiences in adolescence are at least
as influential in determining adult outcomes as they are in infancy.
• The findings also emphasise the need for high quality educational
and home-life experiences for determining positive adolescent
outcomes.
3.1
Introduction
The teenage years are commonly characterised as a time of rebellion,
emotional angst and careless risk-taking. Enduring portrayals of adolescents
include the ‘can’t be bothered,’ sex-obsessed ‘Kevin the Teenager’ and the
brooding, near psychotic Holden Caulfield from the Catcher in the Rye.
These characterisations suggest that adolescence is a turbulent time and thus
the phrase, ‘storm and stress’ first coined by psychologist G. Stanley Hall
(1904) to describe this period appears as fitting today as it was 100 years ago.
23
There are clear reasons for the turbulence that teenagers experience. As
Graber and Brooks-Gunn (1996) note, adolescents go through several
dramatic biological, intellectual and social transitions between the ages of 11
and 18. Each is marked by a significant systemic re-organisation of key
processes related to thought and behaviour. For example, the onset of
puberty marks the beginning of physical and hormonal restructuring, as well
as a re-organisation of neural pathways in the brain (Dahl and Hariri, 2005;
Giedd, 2004). These changes, in turn, trigger significant shifts in how young
people conceptualise the world and respond to it. During this time, teenagers
must also confront very real changes in their social circumstances, as they
move from relying on their parents to relying on themselves.
Researchers in adolescent development typically do not define this period as a
single transition, but separate it into three distinct phases (DeBord, 1999):
• Preadolescence (age 9 to 13) – beginning with the onset of puberty and
marked by the most rapid growth spurt
• Middle adolescence (age 14 to 16) – a time when the need for
independence becomes increasingly apparent
• Late adolescence (age 17 to 19) – the time during which teenagers begin
to disengage with their families and there is a gradual shift towards
economic and emotional independence.
These stages differ dramatically between children in terms of their onset and
length. Puberty can begin as early as nine for some girls and as late as 14 for
some boys. Likewise, the period of middle adolescence can be relatively
short or long. Thus, some parents are faced with the issues traditionally
associated with the ‘teen’ years already when their child is 12, whereas others
do not encounter disruptions until their son or daughter is 15, or even older.
In some instances, the shift towards economic and emotional independence
may last well into the 20s and early 30s.
These transitions put teenagers through a tremendous deal of stress, although
some undoubtedly experience more stress than others. A number of the key
risks associated with these changes include the following (Kelly, 2004; Resnick
et al 1997):
• risks associated with sexual activity, including teenage pregnancy and
life-threatening sexually transmitted diseases
• delinquent behaviour
• onset of mental health difficulties, including substance abuse, eating
disorders, depression and suicide
• involvement in accidents
• the need for more advanced skills to gain employment in an
increasingly competitive job market
• involvement in separate youth cultures, such as gangs or religious cults
(this trend is increasing throughout the world).
Teenagers need support in managing these transitions and their associated
risks. More specifically, young people need support in making wise decisions
24
that will help them meet their developmental challenges. In most instances,
this support will come from their parents.
Although many parents worry about the risks associated with the teenage
years, it is important to remember that negative outcomes remain the
exception and not the rule (Rutter and Smith, 1995). The vast majority of
teenagers and their families successfully manage the challenges posed during
the teenage years and most young people mature into responsible, caring
adults. However, many parents are likely to welcome additional support for
helping their teenagers if it is accessible and relevant to their needs. The
following section provides an overview of the physical, intellectual and
psycho-social transitions that take place during adolescence, describing the
developmental needs of teenagers and the ways in which their parents can
best support them.
3.2
Physical changes associated with adolescence
The explanation most often given for the confusion adolescents experience is
the rapid physical development that occurs during the pre-teen years. During
this time, the body and brain enter a period of dramatic re-organisation
unrivalled by any other point in development except infancy. This reorganisation starts with the onset of puberty that typically begins with a
marked growth spurt occurring between the ages of nine and ten (Dahl, 2004;
Paikoff and Brooks-Gunn, 1991). Puberty then triggers a series of biological
changes that are linked to the following behaviours and risks:
• changes in sleep/arousal regulation
• increased appetite
• sexual interest
• mental health disturbances, including depression, eating disorders and
substance abuse
• romantic involvement
• emotional intensity
• increases in risk taking, novelty seeking and reward/sensation seeking.
Increased growth
The rapid rate in growth that begins in puberty usually results in changes in
both appetite and sleeping habits (Dahl, 2004; Laberge et al, 2001). For
example, it is not uncommon for parents to worry that their teenage sons are
eating too much and their teenage daughters are eating too little. Many
parents also find that their teenagers are staying up half of the night and
sleeping through half of the day during the weekends, as their bodies adjust
to new circadian rhythms. These changes rarely result in negative outcomes,
although health problems occasionally occur when teenagers do not eat the
right foods or obtain the required amount of sleep.
25
Sexual maturation
Sexual maturation also begins during puberty with a surge of growth and sex
hormones that trigger the development of secondary sexual characteristics.
This begins with the development of breasts for girls (typically occurring at
age 10.5 years) and the descending of testicles for boys (between 11 and 12).
Physical and sexual changes then proceed at a rapid pace until sexual
maturity, which begins with the girl’s first menstrual period (typically
between 12 and 13 years) and the boy’s first sperm release (usually between
13 and 14 years). The body continues to grow after this point, although at a
much slower rate, until it reaches full maturity - which usually happens
between the ages of 15 and 18 for women and men respectively.
The rate and timing of sexual maturity often has significant developmental
consequences (Graber et al, 1997). Children whose sexual maturation occurs
at the same time as their peers are likely to continue to develop competently
and confidently. However, the early onset of puberty is associated with
adverse outcomes for both sexes. Early maturing girls are significantly more
likely to suffer from depression or develop eating disorders, whereas early
and late maturing boys are more likely to abuse alcohol and/or struggle
academically. The late onset of puberty in girls appears to play a protective
function, however, as it has been positively linked to higher academic
achievement in girls.
The onset of sexual maturation also activates an interest in sex and romantic
relationships that is linked to certain risks, particularly those associated with
sexually transmitted infections and unwanted teenage pregnancies. Early
romantic involvement also appears to trigger mood-swings that can
sometimes lead to depression and low self-esteem (Collins, 2003). However,
research also suggests that adolescent romances are not much different from
adult relationships and may provide healthy opportunities for some young
people to gain additional emotional support (Levesque, 1993). In a recent
American survey, a quarter of twelve year-olds reported being involved in a
romantic relationship. This figure grew to 50% of all 15 year-olds and peaked
to over 70% at age 18 (Collins, 2003). Larson et al (2002) predict that the
significance of romantic relationships during the teenage years will increase
throughout the twenty-first century, as young people seek more support to
cope with the greater demands of an increasingly complex society.
Adolescent brain development
Puberty also marks the beginning of a rapid re-organisation of the brain.
Until the past decade, neuroscientists believed that the brain was fully
developed by early adolescence. However, recent advances in neuro-imaging
have revealed that the brain continues to develop and re-organise itself
throughout the teenage years until it reaches full maturity during the mid
twenties (Dahl and Hariri, 2005; Giedd, 2004). This period of re-organisation
takes place in two regions of the brain: the prefrontal cortex and the limbic
26
system (Geid, 2004; Kelly et al, 2004). These sections of the brain develop and
change at different rates, thus creating periods when the adolescent brain
becomes ‘out of sync’ with itself.
The first changes begin in the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is
responsible for a variety of executive functions that underpin the ability to
control impulses (Blakemore and Choudhury, 2006a). During late childhood
(typically at the age of nine), there is a rapid increase in the connections
between the brains cells (often referred to as neuronal pathways) in the
prefrontal cortex that continues until the child is around the age of 12
(Blakemore and Choudhury, 2006b; Giedd, 2004). At this time, the brain
enters a period of ‘synaptic pruning’ – whereby the most frequently used
neuronal pathways become strengthened and the less frequently used
connections die off. This process ensures that the most important connections
remain nourished, thus creating an adult brain that has fewer, but stronger
and more selective, neuronal connections than it did in childhood.
Before maturity, however, the excess synaptic activity reduces the adolescent
brain’s efficiency in processing information and controlling impulses. This
non-essential synaptic activity also interferes with the teenager’s ability to
manage the strong emotions governed by the brain’s amygdale - a region in
the lower limbic system responsible for anger and fear (Baird et al, 1999; Geid,
2004; Kelly et al, 2004). Surges of testosterone that occur during puberty
cause the amygdala to swell, making both teenage girls and boys more
aggressive and irritable. Unfortunately, this increase in negative emotions
occurs at a time when the prefrontal cortex is least able to manage them, thus
resulting in the mood swings typical of early and mid-adolescence.
To complicate matters further, the teenage brain also undergoes shifts in
levels of key neurotransmitters (the chemicals that support synaptic activity
between brain cells), particularly serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin is a
neurotransmitter responsible for inhibitory behaviour and levels appear to
drop temporarily during mid-adolescence – usually between the ages of 15
and 16. At the same time, for reasons that have yet to be fully understood, the
teenage brain appears to crave higher levels of dopamine that are produced
during the elevated arousal states related to thrill-seeking and substance
abuse (Wallis and Dell, 2004).
These research findings suggest that changes in the teenage brain result in a
temporary, but necessary period of disorganisation. Fortunately, through the
appropriate amount of trial and error, most teenagers survive this period of
confusion and develop into adults with brains that can make well-informed
decisions, retrieve important information, plan future activities and control
strong emotions. However, there is growing evidence to suggest that
disruptions in adolescent neurodevelopment contribute to the onset of several
serious psychiatric disorders. For example, some researchers theorise that the
adolescent onset of schizophrenia is caused by congenitally related
27
malfunctions that occur during the synaptic pruning process (Landau, 2000;
Walker, 2002).
For these reasons, it appears as though many of the difficulties associated
with the teenage years are related to the biochemical and structural changes
that take place during post-pubescent brain development. However, these
findings do not suggest that problematic teenage behaviour is simply a result
of ‘nature running its course’ and nothing can be done to alter it. Rather, the
neurological findings underscore the importance of ‘nurture’ in determining
adolescent outcomes, since learning experiences govern the course of the
synaptic pruning process. For example, some scientists now believe that
ongoing verbal and physical abuse during adolescence may reinforce the
development of less productive neuronal pathways that interfere with
emotional regulation in early adulthood (Glod and Teicher, 1996; Landau,
2000; Navalta et al, 2006; Walker, 2002). These facts have widespread
implications for educational and social policies, including those that support
positive parenting.
3.3
Intellectual development
Recent advances in the neurosciences have also shed light on the welldocumented changes that take place in adolescent thought (Hall, 1904;
Erikson, 1950; Freud, 1954). Piaget (Piaget and Inhelder, 1958) originally
observed that adolescents engage in ‘formal operations,’ which include the
ability to form hypotheses and test them through deductive and inductive
reasoning. Piaget and Inhelder (1958) argued that this kind of thinking was
qualitatively different from younger children’s and enabled young people to
regulate their own thought processes.
While the dramatic shift in adolescent thought originally documented by
Piaget has been challenged by many (see Keating, 2004 for an overview) there
is no question that teenagers think differently from both children and adults.
During this time of development, many young people demonstrate amazing
sophistication in their ability to grasp complex concepts and re-invent them in
creative and innovative ways. This is due to improvements in the ‘executive
functions’ that include a better active working memory, more efficient
information processing skills and greater self-inhibition (Luna et al, 2004;
Luciana et al, 2005). Adolescents are also able to think more flexibly and
utilise more sophisticated problem-solving strategies than younger children
(Kuhn, 2006).
Adolescents’ newly found cognitive skills allow them to engage in ‘higher
order’ thought processes, such as critical analysis, logical reasoning and metacognition—the ability to think about one’s own thinking (Kuhn, 2006). As
teenagers mature, they become less egocentric and better able to appreciate
the perspectives of others (Selman, 1980). For many young people,
improvements in thinking processes continue until the early twenties.
28
However, these higher levels of rational thought are not achieved by
everyone. Piaget and Inhelder (1958) first observed that only two-thirds of
the population consistently use formal operational reasoning, and research
continues to suggest that many individuals have difficulty understanding
evidence that conflicts with their own personal beliefs (Stanovich and West,
1997, 1998). In fact, many adults (of all ages) cease to show any development
in higher order thinking processes beyond the levels typically achieved by 12
year-olds.
What contributes to this wide variation in adolescent and adult thought? It
would be easy to conclude that some young people are simply ‘smarter’ than
others. On the other hand, it may not be necessary for all young adults to
develop ‘higher order’ thinking skills. While logical or rational problemsolving is often used as a way of testing individual differences in adult
thought, it is likely that other, equally sophisticated (although perhaps less
logical) thinking processes are developed when engaging in other kinds of
worthwhile activities. For example, logical/rational thought processes are
routinely reinforced in maths and the sciences, but are not as significant in the
creative arts. Thus, logical/rational problem solving skills develop when they
are used and needed, since experience ultimately determines which neuronal
connections become stronger and which eventually die off. In this respect,
adolescence becomes a period of specialization, where what you do directly
affects what you know and how you think about it.
These facts are not new. Parents and educators have long understood that
positive intellectual development is directly related to high quality learning
experiences. However, recent discoveries in the neurosciences underscore
this point, suggesting that adolescence may be a second ‘critical period’ in
human development, similar in magnitude to infancy (Kuhn, 2006). In this
respect, it is likely that optimal levels of cognitive stimulation during
adolescence contribute to improved intellectual functioning in adulthood in
the same way that appropriate levels of stimulation during infancy determine
improved developmental outcomes in childhood. Conversely, a lack of
appropriate stimulation (or too much inappropriate stimulation) in
adolescence may reverse or impede otherwise positive childhood trajectories
(Glod and Teicher, 1996; Navalta, et al 2006). Indeed, evidence from the
British Cohort Study suggests that experiences in later childhood and
adolescence are as least as influential in determining adult outcomes as they
are in infancy (Feinstein and Bynner, 2004).
Unfortunately, parents cannot control an adolescent’s experiences in the same
way that they can an infant’s. Adolescents have much greater choice in terms
of their educational activities and their leisure time (Lerner, 2002). For the
most part, adolescents spend their time engaging in activities that they enjoy
and that they believe themselves to be good at. The risk, of course, is that
adolescents may not choose their activities wisely, or, even worse, may not
have appropriate activities to choose from. Thus, parents must not only help
their teenagers understand what kinds of quality educational and leisure
29
experiences are available to them, they also need to make sure that their
children make sensible decisions regarding how they spend their time and
that their learning opportunities remain salient and rewarding.
3.4
Psycho-social development
The re-organisation of thought triggered by adolescent brain development
often results in young people questioning everything – their family, their
culture, their society, and ultimately themselves. Many adolescents
experience a ‘loss of innocence’ as their maturing intellect forces them to
confront the uncertainties of life and their own vulnerability. During this
time, many teenagers also go through an identity crisis (Erikson, 1950) as they
‘try on’ a variety of roles and ideas as a way of understanding who they are
and how they best fit into society. In fact, some have argued that teenagers
need to go through a period of rebellion and experimentation in order to
develop a strong sense of self and a high degree of emotional autonomy
(Marcia, 1966; Schiedel and Marcia, 1985).
In a recent reworking of Erikson and Marcia’s ideas, Nurmi (2004) suggests
that adolescents need to learn how they fit into society on two levels: in terms
of production and reproduction. Entrance into production involves learning how
to contribute to society as an economically independent individual. In order
to accomplish this, teenagers need to make assessments of what they are good
at, so they can make appropriate decisions involving their education and
career. Reproduction involves a young adult’s ability to produce and raise
children. In order to contribute to society on this level, individuals must
learn how to form romantic relationships and remain in them, as well as
engage in the activities required for maintaining a family and caring for
children. The ways in which adolescents meet these two general challenges
defines the individuation process (i.e. the emotional and economic separation
from the childhood family) and lays the foundation for adulthood and the
formation of a stable identity.
Nurmi asserts that four sequential processes are involved in adolescent
psychosocial development: channelling, selection, adjustment and reflection
(Figure 3.1). It is beyond the scope of this report to provide an in-depth
summary of the full theory (a comprehensive review is available in Nurmi,
2004), but a few key points should be highlighted in order to underscore the
ways in which parents contribute to the individuation process.
Figure 3.1: Adolescent individuation mechanisms: Channelling, selection,
adjustment and reflection in socio-cultural and interpersonal environments
30
SOCIOCULTURAL
ENVIRONMENTS
Positions
Reflection
Feedback
Opportunities
Adjustment
Selection
INTERPERSONAL
ENVIRONMENTS
Parents
Peers
Channelling
Reproduced from Nurmi (2004) Socialization and Self Development in Lerner and Steinberg
(Eds.) The Handbook of Adolescent Psychology, Second Edition. Hoboken, New Jersey: John
Wiley and Sons, p. 88.
As Figure 3.1 suggests, the first mechanism in the individuation process is
channelling. This concept involves the socio-cultural environments that define
the range of educational and relationship opportunities that adolescents have
to choose from that, in effect, channel adolescents’ developmental trajectories.
These environments consist of the social expectations held by parents,
teachers and peers who, in turn, set standards for behaviour and determine
the options adolescents have to choose from. Within this pre-defined (or
channelled) set of opportunities, adolescents then make decisions or selections
regarding their future life goals. These selections are informed by personal
motives and interests that, in turn, determine the choices adolescents make
regarding their education, peer group and leisure time. Within these
pursuits, teenagers achieve specific outcomes that are accompanied by
feedback from parents, teachers and friends. This feedback is then used to
make ongoing adjustments to behaviour and goals, as they continue to engage
in educational and personal activities. At various points during this process,
adolescents make use of their newly found meta-cognitive skills to reflect on
their individual characteristics, achievements and social position. These
reflections then inform the teenager’s evolving self-concept or identity.
Parental influence
It is clear that parents play a critical role in each one of these processes, as the
research literature summarised below suggests:
• Channelling. Parents lay the foundation for the channelling process
through their beliefs and values, as well as the educational
opportunities they provide for their teenagers. For example, research
31
•
•
•
consistently links family income and parental values to the timing of
educational transitions (Crockett and Bingham, 2000; Mortimor and
Larson, 2002). Teenagers from lower socio-economic backgrounds
typically make the transition from education to work at a much earlier
age than do adolescents whose parents have achieved higher
educational degrees. Similarly, mothers’ beliefs regarding traditional
sex roles are significantly related to their daughters’ educational
choices and their career goals (Hogan, 1985).
Selection. Parents are instrumental during the selection process,
particularly when it comes to their teenagers’ goal setting, which in
turn, determines how they spend their time and who they spend their
time with (Wilson and Wilson, 1992; Jenkins Tucker et al, 2001).
Parents also inform the strategies teenagers use to pursue these goals.
For example, research conducted by Rueter and Conger (1998) found
that parents who adopted a flexible approach to problem solving and
consistently provide positive emotional support were significantly
more likely to have teenagers who could flexibly solve problems and
engage in effective planning (Greenberger, McLaughlin and Caitlin,
1998).
Adjustment. Through feedback, parents also play a critical role in
helping their teenagers adjust their attitudes and reformulate
strategies, especially when it comes to coping with failure. For
example, the use of authoritative parenting (see Section 3.3) is
associated with a problem-focussed approach to dealing with failure,
whereas more negative parental styles are affiliated with emotionbased forms of coping (Higgins, 1991; Stern and Zevon, 1990; Dusek
and Danko, 1994). Parents also influence their teenager’s causal
attributions regarding success and failure (i.e. was the failure
determined by the teenager or external circumstances). For example,
research consistently suggests that high levels of achievement are
related to adolescents’ ability to attribute success to their own efforts
rather than external factors (Dweck, 1999; Georgiou, 1999). The ability
to take credit for one’s successes has its roots in a positive attachment
history, as well as parents who adopt an authoritative approach to
care-giving (Greenberger et al, 1998; Aunola et al, 2000a and b).
Reflection and identity formation. A considerable amount of evidence
suggests that adolescents’ beliefs about themselves are linked to their
perceptions regarding their parents’ attitudes towards them (Baldwin
and Hoffmann, 2002). For example, Frome and Eccles (1998) found
that teenagers’ self-concepts were more highly associated with their
parents’ attitudes towards them than they were with their actual school
grades.
Peer Influence
Although parents remain highly influential throughout their children’s lives,
the role of peers and the peer group becomes increasingly significant during
early adolescence and remains so throughout the teenage years. In fact,
32
Steinberg and Silverberg (1986) observed that young people ‘trade’ their
dependency on parents for a dependency on peers, especially when it comes
to emotional support. Within the peer group context, teenagers learn how to
develop and maintain relationships (Piaget, 1958; Sullivan, 1953; Youniss and
Smollar, 1985), as well as experiment with different personas through their
affiliation with various cliques and crowds (Brown, 2004).
The importance of the peer group appears to peak at the age of 15 and then
gradually diminishes. In addition, peer influence is consistently stronger
amongst boys than it is girls (Steinberg and Silverberg, 1986; Sim and Koh,
2003). While some parents encourage their children to become involved in a
wide network of friends, others feel that peers pose a threat to their
relationship with their child (Silverberg and Steinberg, 1990). Parents often
miss the closeness that they once had and some fear that peers will exert
pressure on their children to engage in delinquent or otherwise undesirable
behaviour. Indeed, research suggests that peers are highly influential in
terms of teenagers’ decisions regarding risk-taking behaviour, misconduct,
drug abuse, sexual activity and gender identification (Dishion and McMahon,
1998; Patterson and Dishion, 1985; Smith and Leaper, 2005; Steinberg, 2004).
Why are peers so important during the teenage years? Many have argued
that peer approval is a natural part of the individuation process, since peers
also provide valuable feedback which adolescents use to inform their
developing self-concepts (Cole et al, 2001; Harter, 1999; Hart et al, 1993;
Nurmi, 2004; Rosenberg, 1986). However, this heightened need for peer
approval sometimes creates tensions at home, as the values of the peer group
and parents are not always similar.
The desire to ‘fit in’ also causes many teenagers to become hypersensitive to
the opinions of others and in some cases, extremely self-conscious. While selfconsciousness is common amongst both sexes, girls tend to rate themselves as
more self-conscious than boys, most likely because of a greater concern for
inter-personal relationships (Colarossi and Eccles, 2000; Jarvinen and
Nicholls, 1996). Typically, feelings of self-consciousness are evident in early
adolescence and then increase, peaking between the ages of 13 and 15, and
then very gradually decrease (Rankin et al, 2004). In some cases, however,
teenagers (especially young women) remain highly self-conscious throughout
their teenage years. For a few individuals, this self-consciousness becomes an
enduring feature of their personality well into their adult years (Rankin et al,
2004).
Despite this heightened reliance on peers for external validation, the power of
the peer group may not be as strong as some parents fear. For example,
research suggests that ‘peer pressure’ is a bit of a misnomer, since teenagers
rarely use overt pressure to force each other to engage in specific kinds of
behaviours (Brown, 2004). A case in point is drug, tobacco and alcohol use,
which is more strongly predicted by the presence of peers and family
members who model these behaviours, rather than by any direct ‘pressure’
33
peers might use with each other (Ennett et al, 2001; Farrington, 1996;
Hundelby and Mercier, 1987; Kandel and Andrews, 1987).
Peers also influence each other through conversations that include gossip and
teasing. These conversations often reinforce the normative expectations of the
group, but rarely contain any overt pressure for compliance (Eder et al, 1995;
Macleod, 1995). For example, Paxton et al (1999) found that friendship cliques
reinforced eating and dieting habits – not through direct pressure, but
through conversations regarding other people’s weight and comparisons of
body shapes. While these conversations predicted group members’ preoccupation with body image and extreme weight loss behaviour, the authors
noted that there appeared to be a certain degree of self-selection amongst the
teenage girls participating in these groups, suggesting that they were likely
formed by individuals who already shared similar values regarding body
image and appearance.
It therefore appears that adolescents actively seek out peers who share similar
values to their own, but it is also likely that parents play a critical role in this
process (Malmberg, 1996; Ryan, 2001). Brown and his colleagues (1993) have
identified a pattern of parenting practices that suggests that while parents
rarely chose their teenagers’ friends, parental values and practices (especially
those that encourage academic achievement, the monitoring of leisure time
and parent-child decision making) indirectly determine their adolescents’
choice of peer group or ‘crowd.’ Once these peer groups are established,
parental values receive further reinforcement through the activities of the
group (Figure 3.2).
34
Figure 3.2: Conceptual model of the connections between parenting
behaviours, peer group affiliation and adolescent behaviour.
Parenting
Practices
Adolescent’s
Behaviour
Crowd
affiliation
Crowd norms &
peer pressure
As Brown’s model suggests, parenting behaviour influences the teenager’s
interests and goals. In turn, the teenager seeks other friends who share these
values. These interests then receive further reinforcement through the
activities of the peer group, and ultimately contribute to each adolescent
member’s ongoing identity formation. An example of this model would be a
family where the parents highly value academic achievement and pass these
values down to their children. In turn, their teenagers seek out friends who
are similarly academically motivated and thus high achievement is further
reinforced through the activities they pursue with their friends.
Summary
The findings presented in this section give credence to Lerner and Galambos’
(1998) conception of adolescence as a discreet developmental period
‘beginning in biology and ending in society’ (p. 414). As the previous
sections suggest, hormonal processes that begin in early adolescence trigger a
series of physical, cognitive and social transitions that affect the way young
people interact with their environment and involve themselves in society once
they reach adulthood (Lerner and Galambos, 1998; Nurmi, 2004; Steinberg,
1999). Unfortunately, each one of these transitions exposes teenagers to
certain developmental risks, which include unwanted pregnancies,
delinquent behaviour, school failure, substance misuse and poor mental
health. Vulnerability to these risks begins in early adolescence, peaks around
the age of 15 and then slowly decreases until the teenager reaches full
maturity. The extent to which adolescents avoid these risks and mature into
successful adults is largely influenced by a set of educational and sociocultural factors that are, for the most part, determined and moderated by their
parents. The next section considers the specific ways in which parents
influence their teenagers’ development and the skills necessary to ensure that
their contribution is positive.
35
36
Chapter Four: The Parent-Teenager Relationship
Box 4.1 Key findings regarding the parent/adolescent relationship
This chapter considers the ways in which parents support adolescent
development. Key findings that have bearing on policy and practice include
the following:
• Moderate amounts of parent/teenager conflict may be a necessary
part of adolescent development. Research suggests that the
successful negotiation of conflict within the context of an otherwise
warm and nurturing relationship is likely to improve parent/child
bonds and the teenager’s autonomous development.
• Arguments are most frequent in early adolescence. Most arguments
are about mundane issues, such as chores, homework and style of
dress.
• Family arguments upset mothers more than they do teenagers or
fathers.
• Most families only experience moderate increases in conflict when
their child becomes a teenager. High levels of conflict between
teenagers and their parents occur in less than 25% of all families. In
the majority of these cases, serious problems had already occurred
prior to the onset of adolescence.
• An authoritative style of parenting is particularly important during the
adolescent years. Research consistently demonstrates that
authoritative parenting predicts improved academic performance, a
secure identity, higher self-esteem, greater social responsibility and
a greater resistance to peer pressure, substance misuse and early
sexual activity.
• An authoritative style of parenting is linked to more positive
outcomes, regardless of culture or ethnicity.
• Teenagers report that they prefer an authoritative approach from
their parents.
• Autonomy granting is a key feature of authoritative parenting, as it
encourages the development of reasoning and self-reliance.
• Parental monitoring within the context of supportive and authoritative
parenting also improves academic achievement, higher self-esteem
and greater resistance to peer pressure.
• Parental practices that are either highly punitive or extremely lax, are
likely to put teenagers at developmental risk.
37
4.1
The importance of parents
Despite the increasingly important role of peers, parents remain the most
important influence in the lives of their children throughout their teenage
years (Steinberg, 2001). Research consistently suggests that parents are
particularly influential when it comes to shaping their teenagers’ moral and
religious attitudes, their educational goals and their willingness to use
cigarettes, alcohol and drugs (Brown, 2004; Brown, 1990; Hart and Carlo,
2005; Resnick et al, 1997; Nurmi, 2004; Malmberg, 1996; Steinberg et al, 1992).
In addition, a nurturing relationship with their parents is considered to be a
key protective factor in keeping young people from engaging in anti-social
behaviour (Loeber and Farrington, 1998).
This section considers the ways in which parents influence their teenagers and
protect them from the risks typically associated with this age. It does so first
by considering the nature of the parent/teenager relationship and the extent
to which this period really is characterised by ‘storm and stress’ as the
popular literature suggests. The section then goes on to consider the ways in
which specific parenting practices predict positive and negative
developmental outcomes. The discussion then concludes with a brief
summary of what teenagers say they want from their parents.
4.2
‘Storm and stress’ and the parent/child relationship
As mentioned in the previous section, the teenage years are often referred to
as a time of conflict and rebellion, during which adolescents question and
reject many of their parents’ values and opinions. Popular media portrayals
of teenagers often depict them as easier to annoy their parents through any
means possible, including their style of dress and the music they listen to.
Research, however, suggests that these portrayals exaggerate what actually
occurs in most households (Collins and Laursen, 2004). While it is clear that
most teenagers ‘de-idealize’ their parents during this period (Lamborn and
Steinberg, 1993), high levels of family conflict are by no means typical (Gillies,
Ribbens McCarthy and Holland, 2001; Henricson, 1999; Smetana, 1996;
Steinberg, 1990; 2001). Rather, most families experience a decrease in
emotional warmth and physical expressions of affection, and only moderate
increases in actual conflict (Collins and Laursen, 2004; Steinberg, 1981, 1987a,
1988). Conflicts between parents and teenagers occur most frequently in early
adolescence (with arguments generally occurring twice a week) and then very
gradually decrease until the child is 18 (Granic et al, 2003; Laursen, Coy and
Collins, 1998; Larson, et al, 1996; Laursen and Collins, 1994). Mothers and
daughters appear to experience the highest amount of conflict over a longer
period of development, followed by mothers and sons, fathers and sons and
fathers and daughters (Paikoff and Brooks-Gunn, 1991).
38
For the most part, parents and their teenagers actually agree on many issues
(Smetana, 1988; 1994). For example, parents and teenagers agree that parents
should have the final say over moral or conventional issues and that teenagers
should have jurisdiction over their own personal matters. Disagreements
arise, however, in terms of how parents and teenagers classify these issues.
For instance, many parents categorise a clean bedroom as a conventional issue
(e.g. ‘it’s good practice to keep a clean room’) or even a moral issue (e.g.
‘cleanliness is next to godliness’), but many teenagers regard the maintenance
of a clean room as a personal choice. Other similar debates include
teenagers’ rights to dress as they please, when, how and whom they should
date, and how much time they should spend on their homework. Although
both parents and teenagers appear capable of understanding each other’s
perspectives during these conflicts, such arguments are commonplace for
many families throughout the duration of adolescence (Smetana, 1988).
Thus, it appears that moderate amounts of conflict between parents and
teenagers are normal and have little to no lasting negative effects on either
party (Collins and Laursen, 2004). In fact, many have argued that
parent/teenager conflicts are a necessary component of adolescent
development, since they facilitate the individuation process by providing a
context within which teenagers can assert their independence (Maccoby, 1984;
1992; Smetana and Asquith, 1994; Steinberg, 1990; Steinberg and Silk, 2002).
Healthy amounts of conflict also allow parents and teenagers to accomplish
the following:
• Align expectations and facilitate communication (Collins, 1995;
Steinberg, 1990)
• Develop strategies for managing conflict
• Realign and redefine family ties as the relationship between parents
and teenagers become more peer-like and egalitarian (Collins and
Laursen, 2004; Hartup, 1989; Larson, et al, 1996; Maccoby, 1984; 1992).
For these reasons, many believe that parent/teenager conflict is a necessary
part of growing up. In fact, research suggests that adolescents who report
moderate levels of conflict with their parents receive higher marks in school
and have fewer adjustment problems than do those who report either no
conflict or very frequent conflict (Adams and Laursen, 2001). Moderate levels
of parent/child conflict have also been linked to improved ego development
and self-esteem (Grotevant and Cooper, 1985; 1996; Cooper and Cooper,
1992).
It is therefore clear that teenagers actually benefit from moderate levels of
conflict with their parents – but how do the parents fair? Steinberg (2001)
asserts that unfortunately a fair number of parents find these day-to-day
disputes stressful – not because of their content (since the majority of issues
tend to be mundane), but because of their repetitiveness. Parents are
particularly more likely to be upset by these arguments if 1) their child is
actively going through the individuation process, 2) they are parents of the
same-sex teenager, 3) they have not invested much in their career or marriage,
39
4) they are divorced. Furthermore mothers, appear to be particularly upset by
these interactions (Silverberg and Steinberg, 1990). This may due to the fact
that some mothers perceive themselves as the peacemakers of the family and
the ongoing arguments with their teenager represents their failure in this role
(Vuchinich, 1987).
Unfortunately, a significant minority of families experience a high degree of
conflict during the adolescent years and this has been consistently linked to
psychosocial problems in adolescence and later on in life (Henricson, 1999;
Smetana, 1996). Intense levels of parent teenager conflict are significantly
associated with higher levels of delinquent behaviour, mental health
concerns, running away and school failure (Laursen and Collins, 1994).
However, such problems are also almost always predicted by additional
problems within the parent/child relationship that were present during the
preadolescent years (Collins and Laursen, 2004). For example, children who
had an insecure attachment or otherwise strained relationship with their
parents at an earlier stage in their development are much more likely to
encounter further and more intense problems once they become teenagers
(Allen and Land, 1999). In this respect, the conflict experienced during the
teenage years is likely to make an unstable relationship even worse. On the
other hand, the successful negotiation of parent/teenager conflict within the
context of a good relationship is likely to further strengthen any positive
bonds previously established during childhood (Collins and Laursen, 2004).
4.3
Authoritative Parenting
As the previous sections make clear, day-to-day disagreements between
parents and their teenagers are a common and even a necessary component of
adolescent development. Youniss and Smollar (1985) noted that as young
people achieve greater autonomy, the parental role shifts from one of
unilateral authority to mutuality. Through this process, parents must
relinquish some of their power and ‘grant’ a certain degree of autonomy to
their child by allowing him or her to enter what Maccoby (1992) calls a
‘system of reciprocity.’ This means that parents create a context within which
teenage children develop their own opinions and challenge their parents’
authority, even if this is, at times, stressful for the parents (Steinberg, 1990;
2001; Steinberg, Elmen and Mounts, 1989).
A large body of research led by Diana Baumrind (1967, 1971, 1987, 1991)
suggests that autonomy granting is best achieved through an authoritative
style of parenting. Authoritative parenting is beneficial at all points in
children’s development, but is especially important during adolescence since
it actively encourages autonomy and responsibility through the following
practices:
• A democratic style of parenting. Parents surrender some of their own
authority and limits are set through mutually agreed decisions. Limits
are firmly enforced, however, once they have been established.
40
•
•
•
Warmth, affection and mutual respect. Parents make clear that they
fundamentally value their teenager’s opinion and contribution, as well
as demonstrate confidence in their child’s potential. Parents permit the
appropriate rights and responsibilities within this context.
An open style of communication. Parents encourage open discussion
during disagreements and listen to their teenagers before demanding
that their teenagers listen to them.
Mutual trust. Parents expect honesty from their children and are
willing to give it in return.
The above descriptions suggest that while the authoritative approach places
high demands upon the child, it is fundamentally child-centred, as it
recognises the child as a valued contributor to the interaction. These practices
contrast sharply to those of authoritarian parents, who also place high
demands on their children, but from their own, parent-centred perspective.
An authoritarian style of parenting is characterised by less warmth and
considerably less verbal give and take. Permissive parents, on the other hand,
are much more accepting and positive towards their children, but set
relatively few, if any limits or standards for their child’s behaviour. Instead,
their approach is entirely child-centred and has been characterised by some as
indulgent, since permissive parents allow their children to set their own
standards and regulate their own behaviour (Maccoby, 1980; Scarr, Weinberg
and Levine, 1986).
A vast amount of research conducted over the past thirty years suggests that
an authoritative style of parenting predicts improved child and adolescent
outcomes regardless of culture, parental education, economic wealth or
family structure (Steinberg, 2001). This is because specific authoritative
practices, such as allowing teenagers to engage in decision-making, facilitate
the development of specific skills required in adulthood. Positive
developmental outcomes associated with authoritative parenting include the
following:
• A secure identity. Research has shown that parents who are warm and
accepting and create an atmosphere where it is easy to express one’s
feelings are more likely to have teenagers who have a strong ego
identity, are able to solve problems flexibly, and are empathic to others
(Hauser et al, 1984; Powers et al, 1983).
• Higher self-esteem. Buri et al (1988; 1989) observed that teenagers who
are allowed to contribute to family decisions and feel valued in this
role are more likely to rate themselves higher on standardised
assessments of self-esteem. Teenagers who perceive their parents as
using an authoritarian style, however, consistently rate their selfesteem lower than others. Permissive parenting styles are not linked to
teenagers’ ratings of self-esteem.
• Greater autonomy. Research suggests that authoritative parenting,
particularly with respect to shared decision-making, is linked to higher
levels of autonomous functioning amongst teenagers – i.e. the ability to
hold and express their own views (Allen et al, 1994; Collins and
41
•
•
•
•
•
Laursen, 2004; Fuhrman and Holmbeck, 1995; Lamborn and Steinberg,
1993; Steinberg, et al 1994; 1991; Weiss and Schwarz, 1996).
Higher levels of morality, social responsibility and pro-social
behaviour. Parents who model high standards for behaviour and
communicate their expectations clearly within the context of a warm
and loving relationship are more likely to have teenagers who maintain
pro-social values and engage in higher levels of moral reasoning
(Eisenberg, 1990; Eisenberg and Morris, 2004; Grotevant Cooper, 1998;
Walker, Hennig, and Krettenauer, 2000; Walker and Taylor, 1991).
Higher achievement and school competence. Research repeatedly
demonstrates that not only are authoritative parents more likely to be
involved in their children’s education, this involvement (in the form of
high levels of acceptance, supervision and ‘autonomy granting’) leads
to higher levels of school engagement and school achievement (Brody
et al, 2002; Baumrind, 1991; Connell, Spencer and Aber, 1994; Steinberg
et al, 1992). Conversely, authoritarian and permissive parenting is
significantly related to lower levels of academic performance
(Dornbusch et al, 1987; Pittman and Chase-Lansdale, 2001).
Greater resistance to peer pressure. Research consistently suggests that
peer influence is moderated by the parent/child relationship,
demonstrating that a positive relationship with one’s parents
significantly reduces the likelihood of a teenager engaging in negative
behaviour endorsed by their peers (Steinberg, 1986; 1987b; Steinberg
and Silverberg, 1986). Conversely, authoritarian parenting appears to
increase the likelihood that teenagers will rely on their peers for advice
and support. For example, Fuligni and Eccles (1993) found that peer
reliance was greatest amongst teenagers who lived in households
where they believed their parents to be overly strict and had few
opportunities to participate in the decision-making process.
Authoritative parenting has also been linked to improved social ties
with peers and other significant adults, such as teachers (Cui et al,
2002).
Less risk of mental health problems. A US based survey of over 12,000
adolescents in grades 9 – 12 found that perceived parental warmth was
significantly linked to less emotional distress, fewer suicidal thoughts
and a lower interest in violence (Resnick et al, 1997). Conversely, a
poor relationship with parents has been consistently linked to higher
levels of adolescent psychopathology, including suicide (Brody,
Neubaum and Forehand, 1988; The Priory, 2005; Steinhausen, Bosiger
and Winkler Metzke, 2006).
Later onset of sexual behaviour. The above study (Resnick et al, 1997)
also found that teenagers were less likely to engage in risky sexual
behaviour and postpone intercourse if they had a supportive
relationship with their parents. This finding is consistent with other
studies that demonstrate that strong parental disapproval towards
sexual activity, communicated within the context of an otherwise
warm and supportive relationship, significantly postpones the timing
of teenage girls’ sexual debut (Meschke, Bartholomae and Zentall, 2000;
42
•
Rodgers, 1999). However, teenage girls who feel less connected to their
mothers are more likely to engage in sexually risky behaviour at an
earlier age, whether or not their mothers approve of it (Ford et al, 2005;
Pittman and Chase-Lansdale, 2001; Seiverding et al, 2005; Sieving,
McNeely and Blum, 2000; Woodward, Fergusson and Horwood, 2001).
Resistance to substance use and abuse. Parents who set clear
expectations regarding drug and alcohol use (as well as sexual
behaviour—see above) within the context of an authoritative
relationship, are significantly more likely to have teenagers who
comply with these expectations and refrain from using these
substances (Baumrind, 1991; Brody et al, 1998; Brody et al, 2000,
Cleveland et al, 2005; Resnick et al, 1997; Whitaker and Miller, 2000;
Weiss and Schwarz, 1996), as well as exhibit greater overall self control
(Brody et al, 2002).
These findings suggest that an authoritative style of parenting serves to
protect teenagers from many of the developmental risks they face. This
occurs because key authoritative practices, such as autonomy granting and
open communication, foster the development of specific skills that enhance
adolescent development. Conversely, authoritarian and permissive parenting
appears to increase the likelihood that teenagers will encounter problems as
they mature, since many of the practices associated with either of these
approaches either inhibit or interfere with optimal adolescent development.
Other parenting factors that place teenagers at developmental risk include
parental psychopathology (Graber, 2004; Brooks-Gunn and Petersen, 1991),
substance abuse (Ohannessian et al, 2004; The Priory, 2006) and high levels of
secretive behaviour (Delsing et al, 2005). In addition, life stresses external to
the parent/child relationship, such as divorce, also place teenagers at risk,
since they interfere with parents’ ability to provide a warm and supportive
environment. These external stressors are discussed in greater depth in
Chapter Five.
43
4.4
Parental Monitoring
Research consistently suggests that in addition to authoritative parenting,
parental monitoring ‘protects’ teenagers from a variety of problems that
include delinquency, substance abuse and unsafe sex (DiClemente et al, 2001;
Dishion, Nelson and Bullock, 2004; Laird et al, 2003a and b; Patterson and
Stouthamer-Loeber, 1984; Steinberg et al, 1994). This is related to the finding
that teenagers who spend large periods of unsupervised time ‘hanging-out’
with each other are significantly more likely to engage in delinquent or
otherwise dangerous behaviour (Coley, Morris and Hernandez, 2004; Dishion,
1998; Patterson and Dishion, 1985). However, teenagers are far less likely to
get into trouble if their parents carefully monitor their leisure time and limit
the amount of time they allow them to be with their friends unsupervised
(Galambos and Maggs, 1991; Pettit et al, 1999; Steinberg, 1986). Parental
monitoring in this respect includes knowing where their teenagers are, who
they are with, what they are doing and how they are getting there. Teenagers
who are well monitored are also more likely to do well at school and report
greater satisfaction with their relationship with their parents (Fletcher,
Steinberg and Williams-Wheeler, 2004).
It is important to note, however, that this definition of parental monitoring
does not mean parental control. As mentioned in the previous section, high
levels of parental control actually contribute to impaired psychosocial
development and encourage an over-reliance on peers (Fuligni and Eccles,
1993; Gray and Steinberg, 1999). These findings raise the point that parental
monitoring is more likely to be effective if it occurs within the context of an
authoritative relationship, where parents are willing to allow their teenager a
fair degree of autonomy and choice (Fletcher, Steinberg and WilliamsWheeler, 2004; Roker and Stace, 2006). Furthermore, parents who have
established a warm and trusting relationship with their child are more likely
to gain accurate knowledge of his or her whereabouts (Kerns et al, 2001; Kerr
and Stattin, 2000; Smetana et al, 2006; Stattin and Kerr, 2001). In this respect,
parental monitoring reinforces the bonds of trust already established within
the context of a warm and supportive relationship. Research suggests that
adolescents who have experienced high degrees of monitoring throughout
their childhood are more willing to tell their parents where they are and what
they are doing, since they have come to believe that their parents’ interest in
their whereabouts serves a caring and protective function (Laird et al, 2003a;
Roker and Stace, 2006; Smetana and Daddis, 2002).
Interestingly, it may be that a good deal of parental monitoring takes place
during family meal times. A recent US survey conducted by The National
Centre for Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA,
2005) found that teenagers who dined with their parents between five and
seven times a week were half as likely to use cigarettes or alcohol and had
one-third of the chance of using marijuana than were teenagers who dined
with their parents three nights a week or less. Teenagers who had frequent
meals with their family were also 50% more likely to report a positive
44
relationship with their parents, and 40% more likely to report high grades in
school. Conversely, those who had dinner with their parents fewer than three
times a week wished that they could have meals with them more often.
What happens during these meals that supports positive adolescent
development? The results from the survey suggest that conversations during
mealtimes typically cover the following topics:
• School and sports (86%)
• Friends and social activities (76%)
• Current events (63%)
• Family issues or problems (58%)
Mealtimes, therefore, appear to be a good time for parents to find out what
their teenage children are doing.
The above findings have been replicated in numerous studies, demonstrating
that frequent family meals reduce the likelihood of not only drug abuse, but
also of mental health risks such as depression and suicide, as well as
adolescent obesity (Eisenberg et al, 2004; Tavares, 2005). It should be kept in
mind, however, that frequent mealtimes, in and of themselves, do not
necessarily improve adolescent outcomes. Rather, frequent family meals
together are likely to be the result of other ‘third factor’ variables, such as twoparent households and consistent work schedules, which also contribute to
positive developmental outcomes. In the same vein, it should be remembered
that frequent meals together do not necessarily keep problems from
occurring, nor are problems caused by infrequent meals together. For
example, approximately one third (30%) of the teenagers that dined with their
parents five or more times per week still drank alcohol (as opposed to 50%
from the less than four group), and over half of those who ate fewer than four
meals were still more likely to go to their parents if they had a serious
problem. Nevertheless, it is likely that family dinners provide an excellent
opportunity for parents to monitor their children’s activities, as well as a daily
context for reinforcing the more positive aspects of the parent and child
relationship.
4.5
Ethnicity and culture
A potential limitation of much of the research described above is that the
majority of it was conducted with white, middle-class teenagers residing in
Western societies. Research tells us, however, that family values and
traditions vary widely across cultures (Feldman and Rosenthal, 1991; Fuligni,
1998; Hofstede, 1980; Nurmi, 2004; White, 1987). This raises the question of
whether the advantages of authoritative parenting are culturally specific, or if
they embody a set of universal principles of optimal childcare. Indeed, initial
theories involving parenting in African American families suggested that an
authoritarian approach to parenting served to protect children growing up in
45
particularly harsh neighbourhoods (Landsford et al, 2004; Gonzales et al,
1996; Julian, McKenry and McKelvey, 1994).
More recent research suggests, however, that this is not the case. Subsequent
studies now demonstrate that African American teenagers also fare better if
raised in authoritative households (Pittman and Chase-Lansdale, 2001;
Steinberg, 2001; Steinberg et al, 1991) although there may be some differential
effects with regard to the use of physical discipline within White European
and Black African families (Lansdford et al, 2004; Deater-Deckard and Dodge,
1997; Deater-Deckard et al, 1996). In addition, a growing body of
international research suggests that, despite cultural differences, authoritative
parenting practices are evident in most societies and that teenagers do much
better when their parents adopt this approach (Dmitreiva et al, 2004;
Steinberg, 1990, 2001; Vazsony, Hibbert and Blake Snider, 2003). Taken
collectively, these findings suggest that a core set of practices define ‘good
enough’ parenting during the teenage years, regardless of culture, ethnicity
and social standing (Steinberg, 2001).
4.6
What teenagers want from their parents
Although the majority of research suggests that authoritative parenting is
what teenagers need, it is not always clear whether this is what teenagers
want. The popular view is that teenagers want independence from their
parents, and the more, the better. Research, however, tells us that most
teenagers do not mind having a few limits imposed upon them, and they
value the relationship they have with their parents. For example, a study
conducted by Kelley, Hood and Mayall (1998) found that teenagers actually
welcome parental control as long as it is not too constraining and they
perceive it to be protective. In another study conducted by the Family and
Parenting Institute (FPI) (Henricson, 1999) the majority of teenagers stated
that they valued clarity from their parents regarding what is right and wrong.
The majority of these participants also felt that it was important for children
and their parents to spend time together. Moreover, just less than three
quarters of the teenage participants felt that it was important that children felt
listened to and understood, as opposed to only 41 percent of the parent
respondents. These findings are further supported by the results from the
BBC’s 2003 ‘Talking Teenagers’ survey that found that the majority of
teenagers highly value the love and support their parents give them.
Taken together, these findings suggest that for the most part, teenagers do not
want to retaliate against their parents, but rather, need and want a close and
supportive relationship with them. Moreover, teenagers do not mind being
monitored if they understand the protective function monitoring serves and
are involved in the decisions regarding what does and does not get
monitored. However, findings from the above surveys also suggest that
many teenagers understand that it is sometimes difficult to be a parent. For
example, nearly half of the young people participating in the NFPI study
46
observed that parents needed high levels of self-esteem and confidence in
order to parent effectively. Forty percent of the young people participating in
the BBC study said that the worst thing about their parents was that they
were too moody and irritable. These findings suggest then, that parents, too,
need a fair degree of emotional support in order to meet the needs of their
children effectively.
4.7
Summary
The findings presented in this section consistently underscore the vital role
parents play in preparing their teenagers for adulthood. Although this period
of development is marked by greater autonomy and an increased reliance on
peers, teenagers continue to want and need high levels of support and
guidance from their parents. In particular, teenagers benefit from a set of
parental practices that facilitate the individuation process and prepare them
for adulthood. These practices include both an authoritative style of
parenting and a consistent system of monitoring. Conversely, parental
practices that either over or under regulate adolescent behaviour are likely to
put teenagers at developmental risk. These findings are supported by a
growing amount of international research that suggests that not only are
authoritative approaches to parenting identifiable within most cultures, they
are universally beneficial when they are used. Furthermore, teenagers
themselves report that they prefer an authoritative style of parenting, but also
observe that parental stressors can interfere with this process. The following
section considers what these stressors might be and the potential ways
services could reduce them.
47
48
Chapter Five: The needs of parents of teenagers
Box 5.1 Key findings regarding the needs of parents with teenagers
This chapter considers what is known through research regarding the
needs of parents with teenage children. Key findings that have implications
for policy and practice include the following:
• Some parents experience a number of insecurities when their child
becomes a teenager. These insecurities include uncertainty
regarding their parental authority, confusion regarding how to parent
a teenager effectively, and fears generated by the media regarding
drug abuse, pregnancy and delinquency.
• Having a teenager also coincides with midlife for many, bringing on
additional stresses, such as career uncertainty, the additional care of
a grandparent, and self-doubt created by the aging process.
• Family problems, such as divorce and bereavement, also make
parenting a teenager more difficult. The event of a divorce appears
to create serious risks for some families – especially those where
the parents had not adopted an authoritative approach to parenting
in the first place.
• Other stresses that interfere with parenting efficacy during the
teenage years include having a disabled child and living in poverty.
• Parenting is particularly impaired during the teenage years in highly
dysfunctional families. Teenagers living in these families are likely
to mature into adulthood with unmet developmental needs.
• In these instances, parents are likely to benefit from additional
support that enables them to cope with and improve their
relationship with their adolescent child.
• Families experiencing high levels of stress are likely to require
greater levels of support that occurs over a relatively long period of
time and targets a range of specific problems.
While a great deal is known about the needs of teenagers, relatively little is
known about the needs of their parents. When compared with the vast
amount of research involving the processes that support adolescent
development, only a handful of studies consider what is needed to support
their parents. What we do know tells us that parenting teenagers can be
stressful and that parents often need help coping. In fact, the phrase ‘storm
and stress’ may more accurately describe parents’ experiences than it does
teenagers’. What are the factors that contribute to this parental stress and
what systems are needed to support them?
5.1
Common stressors
49
Parental insecurities
Parents, too, go through a period of transition when their children become
teenagers. This transition can bring on a variety of uncertain feelings that
create stress and doubt in some parents. The following lists a few of the more
common insecurities parents of adolescents might feel:
• Uncertainty regarding one’s role as a parent. As teenagers mature and
take on increasing responsibilities, parents may feel uncertain about
their role and duties. For example, as Coleman (1997) observes, most
parents continue to schedule doctor’s appointments for their teenagers,
even though doctors are required to keep information gained from
their teenage patients confidential. Parents wonder when and how
they should relinquish their responsibilities towards their child.
• Fear. Every day the media is filled with reports regarding delinquent
and drug abusing adolescents. Some parents, particularly those who
are parents of teenagers for the first time, worry that their teenagers
will become addicted to drugs or have an unwanted pregnancy. For
these reasons, some parents come to face the teenage years with a sense
of dread (Coleman, 1997; NFPI, 2001; ParentLine Plus, 2006;
Sidebotham et al, 2001).
• A change in practice. Although the principles of effective parenting do
not change during the teenage years, the practices do (Naguib and
Kurtz, 2004). For example, it is unlikely that a ‘naughty chair’ will
effectively deal with most teenagers’ bad behaviour, so some parents
become insecure about how best to discipline their teenage child
(NFPI, 2001; ParentLine Plus, 2006).
• A history of conflict with their own parents. Parents may also lack
confidence because they are uncertain about how to parent effectively.
Research suggests that parents are likely to learn how to parent from
the example given to them by their own parents (Belsky et al, 2001;
2005; Das Eiden, Teti and Corns, 1995; Patterson, 1998). A lack of
confidence with regard to parenting may have its roots in previous
negative experiences, leaving some parents feeling unsure about how
best to communicate with their teenager.
• A lack of knowledge. Parents may also lack knowledge about
parenting because they have forgotten what it is like to be a teenager.
Henricson and Roker (2000) have observed that postponing childbirth
may distance some parents from their own childhood, causing them to
lose touch with many of the key issues.
• A sense of loss. As mentioned in Section 3.1, the parent-teenager
relationship undergoes a transformation which creates a clear threat to
the parents’ authority status and results in greater distance between
parents and their child (Steinberg, 1981, 1987a, 1988). Some parents
may experience a sense of loss during this time, either because they
miss the close and affectionate relationship they once had or they wish
to re-establish their previous authority within the relationship (Paikoff
and Brooks Gunn, 1991).
50
•
•
•
•
•
•
Discomfort with sexual maturation. Some parents may be
embarrassed or uncomfortable with the physical changes taking place
in their child because of the cultural or moral taboos they associate
with sexuality (Coleman, 1997; Paikoff and Brooks-Gunn, 1991). In
addition, the onset of puberty may raise parents’ awareness of their
own changing sexuality (i.e. the aging process), which may also trigger
uncomfortable feelings (Paikoff, Brooks-Gunn and Carlton-Ford, 1991).
Identity concerns. Parents with teenagers often experience their own
stresses as they struggle with mid-life issues (Paikoff, Brooks-Gunn
and Carlton-Ford, 1991; Rogers and Small, 1997). Silverberg and
Steinberg (1990) found that parents were particularly negatively
affected by the changes in their adolescent if they did not have a career
or strong self-identity. These parents become anxious about the
decreasing importance of their role, since their sense of self was
primarily determined by their care-giving status.
Ongoing arguments. As mentioned in Section 3.2, many parents tire of
the continual debates and arguments with their teenage children
(Sidebotham, et al, 2001). Mothers, in particular, bear the brunt of
these conflicts, partially because they are most often the parent with
the closest relationship with their child (and hence have more frequent
disputes), but also because the arguments represent a threat to some
mothers’ self-view as the family peacemaker (Collins and Russell, 1991;
ParentlLine Plus, 2006; Vuchinich, 1987).
A lack of time. Many teenagers are very active. Parents find it difficult
to stay on top of all of their children’s activities along with their other
responsibilities. Ensuring that their children are doing their homework
and fulfilling their other responsibilities requires a fair amount of time
and forethought which may be especially difficult for parents who
have to cope with the demands of a full-time job. These parents often
worry whether they will be able to meet their teenager’s needs when
there are so many other demands on their time (NFPI, 2001;
Sidebotham et al, 2001).
Their children’s stress. Teenagers are also under a lot of stress,
particularly to achieve, and parents often worry that their children are
coping with too much (Sidebotham et al, 2001). These feelings are
compounded if parents know that their child is coping with a
particular difficulty, such as rejection by peers at school, mental health
problems, learning difficulties or behavioural problems. Parents are
often uncertain whether the stress their teenager experiences is normal,
or whether it is the sign of more serious mental health problems
(Mandel, 2005).
Financial stresses. Teenagers can be expensive, especially when
compared to younger children, as the after-school courses, clothing and
food bills accumulate. Teenagers themselves can also be materially
demanding, especially if they want expensive clothing so they can fit in
with the ‘right’ crowd. The BBC survey, ‘Talking Teens,’ found that
46% of the teenage participants felt that one of the best things about
their parents was the money they gave them. Parents participating in
51
•
the survey were less likely to share this view, however. Evidence
suggests that parents worry that they are either giving their children
too much or too little in the way of money and material goods (NFPI,
2001; Sidebotham et al, 2001).
The desire to be a perfect parent. Parents themselves generate
expectations of what a ‘good enough’ parent ought to be. Society has
become increasingly more youth-centred and many parents believe
that family life should be organised around their children’s needs.
Although this is predominantly a positive trend, it has also increased
the expectations society has of parents. Many parents now worry that
they are letting their teenager down if they are not able to provide their
children with the opportunities and material goods they desire. Some
also wonder whether they are positive role models (NFPI, 2001;
Sidebotham et al, 2001).
Additional stresses
There are a number of additional circumstances, external to the parent-child
relationship, which also create stress for parents with teenagers. These
stressors include:
• Increased marital problems. Parental reports of marital disharmony
increase in families with adolescent children (Crawford et al, 2001;
Macmillan, McMorris and Krutschnitt, 2004). Evidence suggests that
conflicts between parents and teenagers contribute to the tensions
between partners, and thus result in a substantial decrease in marital
satisfaction (Steinberg and Silverberg, 1987). Some marriages weather
this storm, whereas others do not (Gottman and Levenson, 2000).
• Stressors related to midlife. Many parents with teenagers are also
more likely to be entering the ‘storm and stress’ of midlife themselves.
This period in adult development comes with its own challenges which
include health problems, bereavement, coping with an aging parent,
employment and the aging process. Although each family is unique in
terms of the constellation of stressors they face (and the extent to which
they affect them), any one of these problems can add to the anxiety that
parents face when raising their teenagers (Aldwin and Levenson, 2001,
Conger, Patterson and Gee, 1995).
As Section 3 makes clear, parents need patience, self-control, self-confidence,
time and energy to support their teenagers effectively. Any one of the
stressors listed above has the potential to limit parents’ capacity and in some
cases, diminish the quality of their parenting. While it is unlikely that a
stressed parent will become a bad parent, factors that compromise their sense
of efficacy are likely to trigger feelings of guilt, which may result in even more
parental stress. At the very least, it is likely that some parents would
welcome support that reduces the levels of stress they experience, especially if
this stress is self-induced because of personal insecurities (Henricson and
Roker, 2000; Sidebotham, 2001).
52
5.2
Families at risk
As mentioned in Section 3.2, approximately one quarter of families - a
significant minority - encounter high levels of conflict when their children
enter adolescence (Henricson, 1999). In the majority of cases, this turmoil is
predicted by factors that may have been problematic prior to the teenage
years. In other instances, high levels of conflict between parents and
teenagers may be brought on by family transitions, such as divorce,
remarriage, or the death of a parent. In some cases, high levels of family
conflict are determined by multiple risk factors, which may also include
parental mental health problems and economic hardship. In these instances,
it likely that parents will need high levels of support in order to cope and
parent their teenager effectively.
Divorce, remarriage and lone parent families
Nearly one third of all UK marriages end in divorce. Divorce rates reach their
second highest peak at the time the first-born child reaches age 14 (Gottman
and Levenson, 2000), which is supported by the fact that in the last year, 20%
of all couples divorcing in the UK had children between the ages off 11 and 16
(ONS, 2005). These facts suggest that divorce is a common experience for
many families with teenagers.
There is no question that divorce places families under a great deal of stress.
Along with the inevitable increases in conflict between parents, children also
often experience negative changes in their financial circumstances, their place
of residence and/or a re-location to a new school or neighbourhood. These
changes inevitably destabilise the parent-child relationship and interfere with
parents’ ability to discipline effectively (Collins and Laursen, 2004; Fauber et
al, 1990; Hetherington and Stanley-Hagen, 2002; Lewis, Feiring and Rosenthal,
2000; Smock, Manning and Gupta, 1999). The two years following a divorce
are usually the most stressful (Amato, 2004; Brody, Neubaum and Forehand,
1988; Hetherington and Clingempeel, 1992), although some studies have
observed decreases in parent-child arguments after the divorce is finalised
(Hetherington and Stanley-Hagan, 2002; Smetana et al, 1991).
The negative effect of divorce on children, especially teenagers, has been
widely documented (Amato and Keith, 1991; Buehler and Gerard, 2002;
Collins and Laursen, 2004; Fauber et al, 1990; Floyd, Gilliam and Costigan,
1998; Henricsen, 1999; Hetherington and Clingempeel, 1992; Hipke et al,
2002). The primary reason for this is that the divorce process and aftermath
significantly decrease parents’ ability to provide appropriate emotional and
disciplinary support for their children. Divorced parents are more likely to
use harsh discipline, use less supervision and monitoring, engage in more
conflict with their teenagers and be more disorganised in their approach to
parenting. Teenagers receiving less support from their families are
subsequently more likely to disengage from the family, seek support from
53
their peers and engage in delinquent activities (Brody, Neubaum and
Forehand, 1988).
These findings do not, however, suggest that unhappy couples should
necessarily stay together. Children and adolescents are equally susceptible to
adverse developmental outcomes if they remain in homes where there are
high levels of marital conflict (Amato, 2000; Cummings and Davies, 2002:
Bolgar, Zweig-Frank and Parish, 1995; Buchanan, Maccoby and Dornbush,
1991; Hetherington and Stanley-Hagan, 2002; Vandewater and Lansford,
1998). In these instances, parents are even more likely to be preoccupied with
their relationship problems and less likely to provide their children with the
support that they need. Although teenagers with divorced parents are at
greater risk for adverse outcomes than are those living with both parents, the
effect size between these groups is relatively small (Capaldi and Patterson,
1991; Martinez and Forgatch, 2002). In addition, outcomes for children and
teenagers improve within two years after the separation, especially if there
were high levels of conflict between the teenager and the non-resident parent
beforehand (Brody, Neubaum and Forehand, 1988; Jekielek, 1998; Katz and
Gottman, 1993; Videon, 2002). However, it appears as though these
improvements are short lived, since evidence also suggests that the gap in
psychological well-being between children from divorced and non-divorced
families grows wider over time (Amato, 2000; Chase-Lansdale, Cherlin and
Kiernan, 1995; Cherlin et al, 1998).
Teenagers are more likely to cope successfully with the disruption of divorce
if the following factors are in place: 1) there is not a substantial decrease in
economic circumstances (Amato, 2000; Morrison and Cherlin, 1995); 2) there is
a substantial decrease in marital conflict (Amato, 2000; Bolgar, Zweig-Frank
and Parish, 1995; Buchanan, Maccoby and Dornbush, 1991; Vandewater and
Lansford, 1998); 3) the teenager is able to maintain a warm and supportive
relationship with their resident parent, who in most cases is the mother,
(Buehler and Gerard, 2002; Farrington, 2004; Hetherington, 1989); and 4) the
resident parent is able to maintain or adopt an authoritative approach. In fact,
an authoritative style of parenting appears to be the most important factor in
protecting teenagers from the adversities associated with divorce
(Hetherington and Clingempeel, 1992; Martinez and Forgatch, 2002;
Steinberg, 2001). Unfortunately, teenagers are significantly less likely to cope
with the divorce transition in situations where the parent-child relationship
was historically troubled and/or authoritative practices were never used
(Amato, 2000).
Over half of divorced parents of children will re-partner and form a
stepfamily before their children are sixteen (ONS, 2005). Interestingly,
however, remarriage does not reduce the risk divorce creates for teenagers,
despite the fact that it generally improves the parents’ overall well-being
(Amato, 2000; Hetherington and Stanley-Hagan, 2002; Wang and Amato,
2000). Research suggests that remarried parents are less likely to engage in
effective parenting practices because they continue to be preoccupied by the
54
demands and excitement of their new relationship (Brody, Neubaum and
Forehand; Hetherington and Clingempeel, 1992; Kirby, 2006). Furthermore,
step-parents are less likely to be involved parents (Garbarino, Sebes and
Schellenbach, 1984). For example, stepfathers are more likely to adopt an
authoritarian style with their stepchildren, if they are involved in their
upbringing at all (Hetherington and Stanley-Hagan, 2002; Hetherington,
1989).
Half of those who remarry will divorce again, and 25% of these divorces will
take place within one year of the remarriage (ONS, 2005). Within this group,
there is a small subset of families who engage in serial marriages or
partnerships and these repeated transitions appear to be particularly
destabilising for children (Brody, Neubaum and Forehand, 1988). For
example, Furstenberg and Seltzer (1986) observed a process whereby
consecutive family transitions (e.g. repeated divorces and remarriages) expose
children and teenagers to increasing levels of psychosocial risk. In this
respect, children who experience one divorce are at greater risk than those
from intact families; those whose parents go on to remarry experience further
risk and the risks continue to increase with each subsequent separation and
re-coupling.
Children experiencing multiple family transitions suffer not only from the
compounded stress these transitions create, but are also more likely to have
parents who are less committed to family life in general. As Rutter (1998)
proposes, the risk created may have more to do with the person (i.e. the
parent) than the experience. For example, Capaldi and Patterson (1991) found
that mothers who engage in serial partnerships are more likely to engage in
antisocial behaviour, make unwise decisions about their marriage partners
and have poor parenting skills.
The research is mixed regarding whether the outcomes for children growing
up in lone parent households are better or worse than they are for children
living in stepfamilies. Early research suggested that lone parent households
were at the highest risk, because these families were exposed to problems
associated with economic instability, as well as those created by diminished
parenting capacity (Amato, 2000; Dornbush et al, 1985; Hetherington and
Clingempeel, 1992; Weinraub, Horvath and Gringlas, 2002). Studies also
suggest that lone parents are more likely to suffer from mental health and
interpersonal problems (Amato, 2000). However, the differences between
children living in stepfamilies and lone-parent families are relatively small
and indicate that child and adolescent outcomes (both positive and negative)
are related to a variety of factors that include the child’s age, gender, family
income and the personality characteristics of both parents. Furthermore,
research consistently suggests that a warm and authoritative approach to
parenting protects children and teenagers from adverse outcomes, regardless
of whether they are raised in intact, divorced, remarried or lone-parent homes
(Brody et al, 2002; Buehler and Gerard, 2002; Farrington, 2004; Hetherington,
55
1989; Hetherington and Clingempeel, 1992; Martinez and Forgatch, 2002;
Steinberg, 2001; Weinraub, Horvath and Gringlas, 2002).
Families with teenage parents
A teenage pregnancy creates high levels of stress for the entire family.
Parents and teenagers find that they must realign their roles as their child
rapidly becomes a parent and the parent becomes a grandparent. These
complexities place the entire family system at risk, as many grandparents
struggle to meet the developmental needs of both their child and their
grandchild (Clemmens, 2003; Moore and Brooks-Gunn, 2002; Sadler,
Anderson and Sabatelli, 2001).
There is no question, however, that grandparents can add significant value to
both their daughter’s and grandchild’s lives (Borcherding, SmithBattle and
Kraenzle Schneider, 2005; SmithBattle, 2003). A positive relationship
between a teenage mother and her parents can serve as a protective factor in
an otherwise high risk situation. Teenage mothers who receive warm and
authoritative support from their own mothers are more likely to maintain
positive mental health, continue with their education and be better mothers
themselves. Parents of teenage mothers can also be a positive source of
support for the newborn child (Sadler, Anderson and Sabatelli, 2001; Sadler
and Clemmens, 2004; SmithBattle, 2003).
More often than not, however, teenage mothers have difficulty maintaining
positive relationships with their own parents. In many instances, difficulties
existed between the teenage mother and her own mother prior to the baby’s
birth (Sadler and Clemmens, 2004; SmithBattle, 2003; Spencer et al, 2002). The
additional economic strain of a new baby may also be a source of conflict
between parents and their teenagers. Although teenage mothers stand to
benefit from residing with their parents for at least two years after their
child’s birth, conflict between the teenager and her own mother often results
in lower quality parenting (Brooks-Gunn, Chase-Lansdale and Zamsky, 2004;
Coleman and Dennison, 1998; Moore and Brooks-Gunn, 2002). However,
teenage mothers living away from home remain at high risk of mental health
problems, including substance abuse and depression, poor educational
outcomes and impoverished living circumstances (Clemmens, 2003). Such
circumstances significantly interfere with these young women’s chances of
completing their education and entering the workforce. Mothers who had
their first child when they were under the age of 15 are particularly
vulnerable, and in most instances must remain with their parents, whether or
not they have a supportive relationship with them (Moore and Brooks-Gunn,
2002).
Research suggests that the grandmother’s wellbeing significantly predicts
positive trajectories for the adolescent mother and her infant child, but
unfortunately many women find this role highly stressful (Sadler, Anderson
and Sabatelli, 2001). For this reason, services that provide support for the
56
grandmother, as well as the teenage parent and child, are likely to be
beneficial for everyone. However, most policy initiatives aimed at teenage
parents either focus on prevention, or the teenage mother’s future education
and employment. In fact, in some instances health and social workers
purposively exclude the mothers of teenage mothers, since the conflict that
often exists between mother and grandmother can be disadvantageous for the
young child (Brooks-Gunn et al, 1994; Corlyon and McGuire, 1999). In the
majority of cases, however, parents (particularly mothers) retain a strong
connection to their daughter, which may or may not be adaptive. Future
initiatives may want to consider ways of supporting, rather than ignoring this
relationship (Borcherding, 2005; Spencer et al, 2002).
Families with a disabled child
Effective parenting is critical for ensuring positive outcomes for teenagers
with special needs. However, parenting a disabled child is an extremely
challenging process. Clearly, parents who are preoccupied with the needs of
a disabled child have less time to parent their other children. While advice
regarding family management is available through national support groups
affiliated with specific disabilities, many parents still find it difficult to
balance their time between their disabled and non-disabled children.
Parents with a disabled teenager face particular challenges, since the
complexities of the disability often become amplified by the stresses all
teenagers face (CHADD, 1996: Goldstein, 1997; Teeter, 1998). Parents of
disabled teenagers also have to deal with the stress created by difficult
decisions regarding their child’s future education, employment and living
circumstances. In situations involving mental retardation and serve physical
impairments, parents experience additional discomfort as they lay to rest any
hopes of their child overcoming his or her disorder and confront the fact that
their child may have to remain with them indefinitely (Hauser-Cram and
Wyngaarden Krauss, 2004).
Parents with a teenager who has a learning difficulty also face significant
challenges during adolescence. For example, teenagers who have experienced
chronic failure often become learned helpless which, in turn, leads to low selfesteem and more serious mental health problems, such as substance abuse
and depression (Goldstein, 1997). Parents with a teenager who has ADHD
face particular challenges, since the disability often intensifies self-regulatory
problems. Although many teenagers outgrow the hyperactive behaviour that
was problematic during their childhood, most continue to have difficulty
paying attention and managing their emotions. For these reasons, teenagers
with ADHD are at greater risk for all of the negative outcomes associated
with the teenage years, especially academic failure, substance abuse,
delinquency and low self-esteem. In addition, research suggests that ADHD
teenagers are significantly more likely to seek novelty and engage in risky
behaviours than are their non-ADHD peers (Barkley, 1997; CHADD, 1996;
Goldstein, 1997).
57
The problems of teenagers with ADHD are compounded even further if the
diagnosis was made during adolescence. In these situations, the child may
have been struggling with school failure and conduct problems for a number
of years and maladaptive behavioural patterns may be deeply entrenched. In
these situations, parents need to be extra vigilant with their ADHD child and
are likely to benefit from behavioural management training that will help
reverse some of the conduct and academic problems many ADHD teenagers
face (Barkley, 1997; Goldstein, 1997).
Dysfunctional or ‘fragile’ families
As mentioned in Section 3.2, extremely negative teenage outcomes, such as
delinquency, drug abuse and teenage pregnancy, rarely occur ‘out of the
blue,’ but are instead often related to dysfunctional family processes that were
evident before puberty. In this respect, problematic adolescent behaviour is
the result or ‘symptom’ of a constellation of other maladaptive processes,
embedded within the family system that might include ineffective or abusive
parenting (Biehal, 2006; Farrington, 1996; Patterson, 2002; SCRA, 2003; Todd,
2000). This is particularly true in the case of teenage delinquency. While it is
clear that some children are more difficult to manage than others (and this is
especially true for children with ADHD, see above), more often than not,
parenting factors also contribute to problematic teenage behaviour. For
example, research consistently shows that anti-social parents are more likely
to have anti-social children and that delinquent behaviour is more likely to
occur when parents use authoritarian or overly harsh disciplinary practices
(Amato, 2000; Capaldi et al, 2003; Farrington, 2004; 1996).
Antisocial behaviour has also been linked to extremely lax parenting
practices, such as poor parental supervision (Farrington, 2004; Dishion et al,
1991; Loeber and Dishion, 1983; Patterson and Stouthamer-Loeber, 1984;
SCRA, 2003). Dishion, Nelson and Bullock (2004) observed that delinquent
behaviour occurs more frequently in situations where parents give their
children too much autonomy during their preteen years. Once the
misconduct occurs, a pattern sets in whereby parents provide even less
supervision as their teenager continues to engage in delinquent behaviour. In
these instances, parents and their teenagers appear to have entered into
pattern of ‘mutual disengagement’ whereby the distance between them
created in early adolescence receives further reinforcement as the child
becomes more reliant on the peer group and parents become increasingly
alienated by the delinquent behaviour (Dishion, Nelson and Bullock, 2004;
Laird et al, 2003a and b).
Adverse teenage outcomes, such as school drop-out, drug abuse, delinquency,
running away, pregnancy, depression and suicide are also strongly correlated
with child abuse and neglect (Biehal, 2006; Bentovim, 2006; Martinez, 2006).
Rates of abuse against teenagers are at least as high, if not higher than, rates of
abuse amongst younger children (Rees and Stein, 1997). In particular,
58
teenagers are more susceptible to emotional and sexual abuse than are
younger children. It is likely that the risk of abuse increases during the
teenage years because the challenges of parenting adolescents push some
vulnerable parents over the edge. Teenagers are also more likely to fight
back, thus compounding the levels of conflict and abuse that occur in their
homes (Garbarino, Sebes and Schellenbach, 1984; Rees and Stein, 1997).
In the majority of cases, parents who abuse or adopt an overly harsh or
authoritarian approach with their children are likely to have been abused or
neglected in their childhood (Belsky, 1993, 2005; Das Eiden, Teti and Corns,
1995; Egeland, Jacobvitz and Sroufe, 1988; Patterson, 1998). Other reasons
parents abuse their children include the following:
• a lack of parenting knowledge
• social isolation
• the unmet emotional needs of parents
• a hostile personality
• drug or alcohol related problems
• the parent regarding the child as special or different
• the family experiencing multiple crises and no longer able to cope
• harsh or violent punishment condoned as a method of discipline
(Belsky and Stratton, 2002; Bentovim, 2006; Smith and Brooks-Gunn,
1997).
These findings suggest that maladaptive parenting is deeply embedded
within the context of other parental problems, and therefore higher levels of
support and intervention are probably needed to improve both parent and
child outcomes.
Unfortunately, very few families receive the support they need until the
situation has reached a crisis point. By this time, most maladaptive
behaviours are deeply entrenched within the family system (Biehal, 2005,
2006; Bentovim, 2006). Furthermore, the majority of support offered to
families with problematic teenagers is often targeted at the teenager and not
their parents (Biehal, 2006). For example, interventions for adolescent drug
abuse often centre on the child abuser and fail to address the lack of parental
supervision that contributed to the drug abuse in the first place, although this
appears to be changing (Dishion, Nelson and Bullock, 2004; Wagner et al,
1999; Williams and Chang, 2000). This is also true in cases of child abuse,
where the first priority is to remove the teenager from the abuser and provide
the child with emotional support (Bentovim, 2006). While this level of
intervention is likely to deal with more urgent problems, it is unlikely to
address longer term developmental needs, since the teenager will continue to
lack optimal levels of parental support unless he or she is fortunate to
establish close bonds with a foster parent (Biehal, 2006; Stace and Lowe, 2006;
Wilson, 2006).
Parental mental health problems and substance abuse issues
59
It is clear that the parenting process is severely impaired when parents are
mentally ill or misusing drugs or alcohol. For example, maternal depression
has been consistently linked to adverse child outcomes at all ages (BrooksGunn and Petersen, 1991; Cummings and Davies, 1994; Graber, 2004). While
treatments are available to improve the parenting of mothers who suffer from
depression during the post-natal period (Cooper et al, 2003), interventions
have yet to be developed to support the needs of depressed mothers with
teenage children.
Parental alcohol and drug abuse also interferes with the parenting process
and substantially increases the likelihood of child abuse and neglect
(Gogineni, 2006; Ohannessian et al, 2004; Martinez, 2006; The Priory, 2006).
Parental alcoholism, in particular, has been linked to negative adolescent
behaviours, where teenagers either ‘act out’ their frustrations through their
own alcohol or substance abuse or develop internalising symptoms such as
depression and low levels of self-esteem (The Priory, 2006; Ross and Hill,
2001). The unpredictable behaviour of alcoholic parents can also create high
levels of stress that may interfere with teenagers’ academic performance and
subsequent adjustment during adulthood (Brown and Tapert, 2004; Clare and
Genest, 1987; Haugland, 2005; The Priory, 2006). In many families, both
parents abuse alcohol, which severely diminishes their capacity to provide
appropriate care for their children. However, families with one alcoholic
parent suffer almost equally, since the non-abusing parent is often
preoccupied with the problems created by the abusing spouse. Collectively,
these findings suggest that interventions for substance abusers need to
address the needs of the entire family and should include strategies to help
non-abusing parents remain emotionally available to their children
(Haugland, 2005; Price and Emshoff, 1997).
Parenting in poverty
Poverty significantly impairs parents’ ability to care effectively for their
children at all points during their development. This occurs because
impoverished circumstances often perpetuate multiple problems, such as
unstable relationships, social isolation, substance abuse, unemployment and
poor mental health (Forehand et al, 1991). These multiple adversities, along
with the ongoing strain of financial worries, increase the frequency of
arguments between parents, as well as between parents and their teenagers.
These conflicts, in turn, amplify the stress parents and children face on a dayto-day basis (Conger et al, 1994; Evans and English, 2002; Johnston et al, 2000;
Macmillan, McMorris and Krutschnitt, 2004; Parke et al, 2004).
This ongoing turmoil poses a significant threat to the parent-teenager
relationship. Continuous and chaotic negative life events often compromise
parents’ ability to respond appropriately to their children, and thus reduce
their ability to form warm and supportive relationships with them (Waters,
Hamilton and Weinfield, 2000). In addition, the stresses associated with
poverty significantly increase the likelihood that parents will adopt overly
60
punitive or inconsistent approaches to discipline (Deater-Deckard, 1998;
Deater-Deckard and Dodge, 1997; Deater-Deckard et al, 1996; Hashima and
Amato, 1994; Landsford et al, 2004; Park, et al, 2004).
Living in an impoverished community also significantly increases the
probability of teenage delinquency, since poor environments contain
increased opportunities for substance abuse and criminal behaviour. These
ongoing risks, combined with poor schools and inadequate social services,
serve to decrease parents’ ability to supervise their teenagers, which in turn,
significantly increases the likelihood that they will become involved in gangs
and other deviant peer groups (Brooks-Gunn, Duncan and Aber, 1997;
Duncan and Brooks-Gunn, 2000; Ceballo and McLoyd, 2002; Coley, Morris
and Hernandez, 2004).
For these reasons, childhood poverty appreciably reduces the chances
teenagers have of successfully meeting the challenges of adulthood.
Furthermore, poverty that occurs in late childhood and early adolescence
stands to reverse positive trajectories previously established in infancy and
middle childhood (Johnston et al, 2000). For example, Weinfield, Sroufe and
Egeland (2000) found that children classified as having a secure attachment
during their childhood were more likely to be classified as insecure if they
were living in impoverished circumstances in their teenage years.
Conversely, the teenager’s attachment generally improves if the family’s
financial circumstances improve. For instance, Macmillan, McMorris and
Krutschnitt (2004) found that the risks associated with antisocial behaviour
significantly decrease in situations where the mother’s material circumstances
improve substantially.
5.3
Summary of parental needs
Parenting teenagers can be a stressful process for many parents. Although
teenagers usually cope with moderate increases in conflict, their parents often
do not. Such disputes frequently raise fears and insecurities amongst parents,
which sometimes interfere with their ability to cope. For this reason, all
parents are likely to benefit from extra support that increases their
understanding of teenage behaviour and improves their self-confidence.
During the teenage years, it is likely that some parents will also have to cope
with additional stresses which may impair their ability to parent effectively.
These stresses might include divorce, remarriage, mental illness, a child’s
disability or difficult financial circumstances. In these instances, families are
likely to benefit from higher levels of support that include strategies that will
help them to maintain a positive relationship with their child, despite their
otherwise adverse circumstances.
Unfortunately, in some situations parents and teenagers will struggle with
multiple stresses that may include poverty and/or highly maladaptive
61
patterns of behaviour. In these cases, families are likely to need high levels of
support to address problems that are more deeply embedded within the
parent-teenager relationship. The following sections consider how targeted
services can support the needs of highly stressed parents and teenagers, as
well as the ways in which universal services can reduce stress and prevent
problems from occurring.
62
Chapter Six: Supporting parents of teenagers
Box 6.1 Key findings regarding services for parents of teenagers
This chapter provides an overview of the results of a scoping exercise
covering over 60 US and UK-based services for families with teenage
children. Many of these services have been rigorously evaluated and a
number of promising practices are highlighted below:
• Effective provision for families with teenagers often supplies a range
of support that includes advice on specific issues and practices (e.g.
dispensing), the opportunity to reflect upon why these practices are
effective (e.g. reflecting) and practices that validate them in their role
as a parent (e.g. relating).
• Examples of universally available support include books,
newsletters, websites, helplines, television shows and educational
campaigns.
• Evaluation evidence suggests that newsletters, helplines and
educational campaigns are an especially effective way of getting
information to parents of teenagers and may improve adolescent
outcomes.
• While television shows can provide parents with good information,
they often highlight negative teenage behaviour and perpetuate
parental fears.
• Research suggests that services offering generic parent training can
improve adolescent outcomes, as well as prevent problems from
arising in the first place.
• Targeted support is required in situations where families are
struggling with more serious issues, such as divorce, singleparenting, poverty, substance abuse, delinquency and poor mental
health.
• Families struggling with more serious issues are less likely to benefit
from more generically focused services.
• All family members benefit from services that support teenage
development in general, such as quality schools and well-managed
after-school programmes.
6.1
Parents matter
As the previous sections indicate, adolescent development is a complex
process. Puberty marks the beginning of a series of biological changes that
include dramatic transformations in the brain’s synaptic connections. While
‘nature’ largely governs how and when these changes begin, recent research
tells us that ‘nurture’ primarily determines their outcome.
63
Recent research also tells us that parents play an important role in this
process. Effective parenting practices not only protect teenagers from the
developmental risks they face, they also prepare them for adulthood. For
example, specific authoritative practices, such as ‘autonomy granting,’
directly enhance teenagers’ ability to plan, solve problems flexibly and take
responsibility for their own actions. In this respect it is clear that what
parents do, matters.
Parents, however, come with their own vulnerabilities that sometimes
interfere with the parenting process. This implies that parents, like their
teenagers, need support. Evidence from this literature review suggests that
parents are likely to benefit from at least three different kinds of support.
First, parents need help coping with the increased worries and frustrations
that come with having a teenager in the house. For this reason, many parents
are likely to welcome services that give them the chance to share their worries
and gain reassurance (Miller and Sambell, 2003).
Second, parents need help supporting their teenagers. To this end, parents
need to know why their role is important, understand the practices that are
effective and have the confidence to execute them. This suggests that many
parents would benefit from training programmes that promote authoritative
parenting practices and provide practical tips for implementing them. Such
courses are also likely to improve parental confidence, since parents are apt to
perceive themselves as more effective once they put their newly learned skills
into practice.
Third, a small percentage of parents are likely to need high amounts of
support to reverse maladaptive processes established in their past. Although
these parents are also likely to benefit from services that promote positive
parenting, it is highly probable that they will need more intensive support
over longer periods of time. This support is likely to be effective if it comes in
the form of one-to-one therapy that addresses the needs of both the parent
and the teenager.
So what kind of support is currently available for parents with teenagers?
Appendix 1 provides a comprehensive list of US and UK services aimed at
providing support to families with teenage children. This list was amassed
via a scoping exercise that included both a literature review and an Internetbased search. The search first considered all of the services currently
providing general support for parents of teenagers. This was then followed
by a second search that looked for additional services within the specific risk
and protective categories (e.g. services for parents of teenage mothers).
While Appendix 1 is by no means an exhaustive list of all services, it is a fair
representation of what currently exists, providing the details of 62 agencies
and affiliated services for families with teenagers. The sections below provide
an outline of the different kinds of services available, with examples of those
that appear to be particularly effective.
64
6.2
Universally available services
Miller and Sambell (2002) observed that parents of teenagers are likely to seek
and value help that falls within at least one of three distinct categories dispensing, relating or reflecting support. Dispensing support generally comes in
the form of specific information or advice that aids parents in ‘fixing’ their
child. An example of dispensing support might include advice on how to set
limits. Parents are likely to pay greater attention to dispensing advice if they
know that it is coming from an expert. Relating support, on the other hand,
does not involve advice, but instead addresses parents’ emotional needs.
Within this model, parents seek validation in their role as a parent and
reassurance that their feelings are normal. Examples of relating support
include opportunities for parents to vent their frustrations and feel listened to.
The third category, reflecting support, includes any form of information or
training that enhances parents’ understanding of their children. This goes
beyond wanting to know what one should do as a parent (the dispensing
model), but why one should do it.
Miller and Sambell found that parents of teenagers seek and desire all three
kinds of parenting support, but were particularly interested in reflecting
support. Not only do parents want strategies for managing their teenagers,
they want to know why these strategies work. These findings have
implications regarding the kinds of services that may be the most effective for
parents of teenagers. Below is a description of universally available services
that provide various combinations of dispensing, relating and reflecting
support.
Information based services
•
Books. There is an increasing number of self-help books available for
parents of teenagers (Smith et al, 2003). Most of these books offer both
dispensing and reflecting support by providing information on teenage
development, the importance of authoritative parenting and limit
setting, and practical tips for discipline. The top three bestselling titles
currently available on Amazon UK include: Whatever!: A Down-toEarth Guide to Parenting Teenagers (Hines and Baverstock, 2005); How to
Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk (Faber, Mazlish
and Coe, 2006); and Confident Teens: How to Raise a Positive, Confident
and Happy Teenager (Lindenfield, 2002).
•
Newsletters. Newsletters are an inexpensive way of getting
information to high numbers of parents who share a common interest,
such as a school or community. A recent study by Roker and Shepard
(2006) found that at least half of the parents who received newsletters
read them, and the majority of this group found them interesting and
entertaining. In particular, not only do parents find the dispensing
information they contain useful, they also enjoy reading about other
65
families’ problems and concerns, thus benefiting from their relating
content as well. Additionally, a study conducted by Bogenschneider
and Stone (1997) showed that parents of teenagers who have access to
newsletters demonstrated improved parenting skills such as
monitoring, communication and emotional support when compared to
a control group who did not receive the newsletters. Furthermore, the
parents who showed the greatest improvements were those who were
living in the most adverse circumstances.
•
Websites. Parents often turn to websites when seeking advice,
especially dispensing information that might solve an immediate
problem (Roker, 2006). There are a number of US and UK based
websites that contain useful information regarding parenting,
presented in a ‘top tips’ format, which is what parents appear to want
in these situations. Three UK based sites that include information
regarding teenagers include: http://www.raisingkids.co.uk,
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/parenting/teens/ and
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting.
•
Helplines. ParentLine Plus is an example of a helpline that provides
easily accessible support to parents with children of all ages. Its
primary intention is to provide information and advice to parents,
since this is what parents say they want (Akister and Johnson, 2002).
However, a recent evaluation of ParentLine Plus suggests that parents
of teenagers are more likely to call for information and emotional
support (i.e. dispensing and relating) once they have reached a crisis
point with their child (Boddy, Smith and Simon, 2005).
•
Television. Television programmes about parenting are becoming
increasingly popular, although the majority of these shows deal with
younger children. One exception is ‘Brat Camp,’ a Channel Four
programme that follows the trials and tribulations of ten difficult
teenagers attending an authoritarian style camp in the western US
which aims to change their challenging attitudes and anti-social ways.
Despite receiving an International Emmy, the show has been highly
criticised as irresponsible for its unrealistic portrayal of the wilderness
camp as a ‘cure-all’ for the adolescents’ difficulties, and for not
providing them with enough follow-up support after the programme is
over (James, 2006; Potter, 2006). In reality, many of the participants go
home to their original problems, causing some critics to wonder if the
experience is, in fact, exploitative (Weiss, 2005). Others feel that it
portrays teenagers in an overly negative light. As one reviewer stated
‘Brat Camp [is] like porn for people who hate teenagers . . . ‘
(Anderson, 2005). Although it is likely that much can be learned from
responsibly produced programmes regarding the parenting of
adolescents, ‘Brat Camp’ is an example of how the media perpetuates
damaging myths associated with teenagers which also support many
parents’ worst fears.
66
•
DVDs videos, audiotapes and computer based training programmes.
An increasing amount of information on parenting is now available in
visual and audio formats. For example the Trust for the Study of
Adolescence offers a range of audiotapes, DVDs, videos, cd-roms and
training packs that concentrate on various aspects of adolescent
development.
•
Educational campaigns. A variety of parental advocacy groups use
educational campaigns as a way of informing families about specific
parenting issues. One such group, ParentLink in the US, has launched
a series of campaigns through their website, helpline and community
events on topics relevant for parents and adolescents such as drinking
and driving, staying safe, and teenage stress (Mertensmeyer and Fine,
2000).
Parent skills training
While it is clear that parents may be able to obtain a good deal of advice and
some emotional support from information-based services, the extent to which
these services actually improve outcomes for parents and teenagers remains
unclear. Although many parents remarked that they found the advice and
support they received via ParentLine Plus helpful (Boddy, Smith and Simon,
2005), it is unlikely that these services can fully replace what is offered
through training and family support groups.
In 2000, Henricson and Roker did a thorough review of what was available
for parents with teenagers at that time. Two of the services identified are
noteworthy in that they offer a reflecting model of support via a theoretically
based curriculum aimed at improving teenage behaviour and family
functioning. The first of these, Parent Network, which is no longer offered in
the UK, was run by trained parents, rather than professionals. Parent Network
courses were generally delivered over 13 weeks and covered common
parenting issues, such as discipline and parent-child communication. It
adopted an informal approach that allowed parents to share their problems
with each other through group discussion before they addressed one of the
weekly topics with their trained parent facilitator.
A similar US based service, Parents Who Care (PWC; Catalano and Hawkins,
1996) is an educational skills-building program created for families with
children between the ages of 12 and 16. The objectives of the programme are
to reduce the risks and strengthen protective factors within family settings
associated with substance abuse, delinquency, and other behavioural
problems. The programme consists of five to six two-hour workshops where
a trained facilitator leads parents through discussions that are based upon
video segments that follow four ethnically diverse families confronting
common issues parents and teenagers face. These discussions are structured
around three central themes: 1) the risk and protective factors associated with
67
the teenage years; 2) effective communication; and 3) family management. A
US evaluation of the service suggested that parents participating in the
programme demonstrated significant short term improvements in three areas
related to optimal teenage development - family discipline, less tolerance of
antisocial behaviour, and family bonding.
Preventive services
In the US there is a growing number of services similar to PWC that
preventatively target key behaviours during the preteen years to protect
teenagers from adverse outcomes (see Kumpfer, 1999 for a full review). Many
of these programmes are distinctive in that they provide joint training to
parents and their children in order to develop a shared understanding within
families on the issues covered in the course. In addition, these initiatives are
based upon empirically supported developmental theories regarding the
ways in which specific parenting practices (e.g. limit-setting) reduce the risks
and increase the protective factors associated with adverse teenage outcomes.
For example, there is a number of effective sex education programmes offered
through US schools (see Meschke, Bartholomae and Zentall, 2000 for a full
review). These are designed to improve parent-teenager communication with
regard to sexual activity, since open communication regarding sexual issues is
associated with more responsible sexual behaviour amongst teenagers.
Meschke et al’s review argues that, while these programmes may be highly
effective in reducing sexual activity in the early teenage years, additional
services may be necessary to ensure that young people continue to behave
responsibly as they mature into adulthood.
Signposting
Studies repeatedly suggest that parents have difficulty finding support when
they need it (NFPI, 1999; Boddy, Smith and Simon, 2005). In response to this,
the NFPI has included in their website a nation-wide directory of services for
parents, http://www.nfpi.org/templates/psd/, in addition to the leaflets and
articles they publish. The Trust for the Study of Adolescence offers a similar
service at http://www.tsa.uk.com/info/org_parents.html. Data from the
Trust’s website suggests that they receive between 1,750 and 2,250 hits per
month and the Trust’s co-director believes that the majority of these hits come
from service providers rather than parents (personal correspondence with
Debi Roker, 6 November 2006).
Services that support adolescent development
As described in Section Two, adolescent development is a complex process
and teenagers often need as much support as they can get. In this respect, any
service that supports optimal adolescent development will also support their
parents. For example, research suggests that teenagers benefit when offered
more opportunities and choices that are tailored towards their interests and
skills (Pittman, Diversi and Ferber, 2002). In this respect, high quality schools
68
and well-managed leisure activities not only support positive teenage
trajectories, but also help parents monitor their children more effectively
(Mahoney and Cairns, 1997; Mahoney and Stattin, 2000). In response to this
need, communities across the US are developing after-school programmes
that provide teenagers with opportunities to develop their personal talents
and pursue their vocational interests (Chaskin and Baker, 2006). Connexions
provide a similar function in the UK, and it is anticipated that the extended
schools initiative will also provide teenagers with improved opportunities
and choices to develop personal skills and interests.
6.3
Targeted services for higher need families
It is unlikely that the kind of support offered through universally available
services will meet the needs of highly vulnerable families. For example,
Riesch, Henriques and Chanchong (2003) found that parents from families
who scored as either highly enmeshed or highly disengaged on a family
communication scale were less likely to improve their interaction after
attending a course on improving family communication. Parent training
programmes also appear to be less effective with parents struggling with
mental health issues (Hipke et al, 2002; Reyno and McGrath, 2006).
Furthermore, parents are unlikely to benefit from services unless they,
themselves, perceive a need for them. Unfortunately, parents confronting
more serious issues do not always seek support because they are either in
denial about the problem or otherwise preoccupied (McCurdy and Daro,
2001). This implies that there is a subset of parents who are unlikely to access
services voluntarily, even if they would benefit from them. For this reason,
targeted services need to develop methods to ensure that they reach and
retain the parents who need them the most. Below is a description of some of
the services available to more vulnerable teenagers and their families.
69
Services for families going through a divorce
Because of the known risks to children associated with divorce, an increasing
number of states in the US are requiring separating couples to receive parent
education support (Amato, 2000). Some states simply require parents to read
a book and complete handouts, whereas others expect attendance at a
designated parenting course. One such course, New Beginnings, is aimed at
helping divorcing mothers and their children by targeting four factors that
commonly place families at risk: 1) the quality of the residential parent’s
relationship with their children; 2) the maintenance of effective discipline
post-divorce; 3) exposure to inter-parental conflict; and 4) access to the nonresident parent. Both mothers and their children attend sessions where
mothers receive parent training and children are provided with coping
strategies. While attendance on this course is not mandatory, parents are
strongly urged to participate at the time they petition for divorce. An
evaluation of New Beginnings (Hipke et al, 2002) found significant
improvements for parents and their children, but these were related, in part,
to the mother’s mental health and the child’s self-regulatory skills prior to
enrolment. The study found that mothers who were emotionally unstable
and children with self-regulatory problems did not benefit to the same extent
as the rest of the participants. The authors suggest that mothers with mental
health problems and children with behavioural difficulties may need
additional support during the divorce process to address their emotional
needs.
Services for lone parents
Gingerbread is a UK based voluntary support network that offers advice and
training to lone parent families. This support is available to parents with
children of all ages and includes information on a range of issues connected
with lone parenting, such as child support and employment, as well as
activities for lone parents and their children. Very little of the support,
however, addresses parenting skills per se. More recently, however, the
organisation has launched The United Teens Project involving a series of
regional activities for lone parents and their teenagers. Because of the
initiative’s success, Gingerbread is now developing a set of training materials
so that parents, themselves, can sponsor fun activities for their teenagers.
Services for families with children who have ADHD or other disabilities
Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
(CHADD) is a US based voluntary organisation dedicated to providing
support and information to individuals afflicted with ADHD. Formed in the
1970s as a way of helping parents with hyperactive children to cope, it now
provides information to both adults and children via support groups located
across the globe. The organisation also has its own website that serves as a
clearing-house of information, containing the most recent research and
educational legislation regarding the disorder.
70
ADDiSS (ADHD Information Services) provides a similar service to CHADD
in the UK. It is a national charity that provides advice and support to families
with a member who has ADHD, through information printed on its website
and national awareness campaigns. The agency also sponsors an
international conference and runs training events for education professionals.
It is currently in the process of establishing a network of regional ADHD
support groups, but this is still in it initial stages.
The ADHD UK Alliance also provides support to those with ADHD and their
families through newsletters and a lobbying service. Other services that
address the needs of families who have behavioural and educational
problems include BEST teams (see Appendix 1). These multi-agency groups
work through local authorities to promote school attendance and positive
emotional well-being amongst children and teenagers who are at risk for
developing behavioural problems. Educational psychologists are also
available through most schools to help children with learning disabilities,
although the extent to which they provide support specifically for parents is
not clear.
Families with teenage children afflicted with more serious disabilities often
find advice and support through charities established specifically for the
disorder. In addition, the National Association of Parents with Children in
Special Education (http://www.napcse.org/) provides information and
support to families via their website, as well as through parent-support
groups located across the UK.
Services for parents of a pregnant teenager
Sure Start Plus is a UK initiative aimed at providing comprehensive support
to teenage mothers and their children. This support includes help and advice
regarding health, parenting, father involvement and links to Connexions for
information on training and employment. However, it appears that there are
no specific services for the mothers of teenage mothers, although
grandparents receive support in their care-giving role through Sure Start
Children’s Centre services.
Services for teenagers with substance abuse problems
Appendix 1 contains a section on substance abuse services in the UK. Many
of these services are offered by voluntary agencies and multi-agency teams,
with an emphasis on intervention rather than prevention. A few agencies,
such as Drug and Alcohol Teams (DATS) and FRANK, also run public
awareness campaigns targeted at teenagers through schools and the media.
In the US, a number of successful preventative drug programmes are
operating in a variety of states (see Kumpfer, 1999 for a review). One highly
successful example is Guiding Good Choices, a programme for parents of
71
children between the ages of 8 to 13 that targets risk and protective factors
associated with drug abuse in adolescence (Spoth et al, 1999). Trained
workshop leaders provide support and advice via two-hour sessions that take
place over five consecutive weeks. These workshops focus on establishing
ground rules on drug and alcohol use, anticipating and avoiding trouble,
improving family communication and bonding, and family conflict
resolution. The sessions are interactive, with opportunities for parents to
practise new skills and receive feedback from workshop leaders and their
peers. Multiple evaluations of the service consistently demonstrate significant
reductions in children's antisocial behaviour, higher academic achievement,
improved pro-social behaviour, and reduced drug use. Parenting skills also
improve as a result of the intervention.
Similar results have been achieved in the US through the Family Matters
home-based drug and tobacco prevention programme. This service combines
the newsletter and helpline approach by providing families with four booklets
via the post along with follow-up telephone calls with health educators. A
recent evaluation of the service (Bauman et al, 2002) found that participants
were 1.4 times less likely to have smoked cigarettes and 1.3 times less likely to
have drunk alcohol than those in the control sample. An advantage of this
service is that it is well-liked by families and is easy to implement.
Specialist services for highly vulnerable families
In a recent review of services aimed at preventing family breakdown, Nina
Biehal (2006) observes that very little work takes place within social services
departments to prevent problems from happening, since these teams
generally only have the capacity to deal with crisis situations. Although few
studies have evaluated the impact of social work support, those that have
suggest that positive change is more likely in cases where the issues are less
severe. Unfortunately, many family problems are often deeply entrenched
once they reach the crisis point, and thus positive outcomes for teenagers and
their parents are usually the exception and not the rule (Biehal, 2005).
Nevertheless, a number of interventions show some promise. The first of
these is Multisystemic Therapy (MST). This service was originally targeted at
young offenders and their families (Borduin, 1999) but has since proven
successful with teenagers struggling with a variety of social, emotional and
behavioural difficulties. MST entails a combination of cognitive behaviour
therapy (CBT) and family support. Services are more intensive than
traditional family therapies and include several hours of treatment per week
that combine individual and family sessions.
Evaluation studies show MST to be effective with troubled teenagers,
consistently demonstrating significant decreases in peer aggression,
recidivism and incarceration. However, findings from these evaluations are
mixed with regard to MST’s effects on parenting. For example, Huey et al
(2000) found improvements in parental monitoring and communication, but
more recent investigations that considered improvements in parenting skills
72
and family functioning were less positive (Woolfenden et al, 2003). While the
intervention appears helpful in reducing criminal behaviour, it appears less
effective for improving specific parenting skills that are known to support
other aspects of teenage development.
Solution Focused Strategic Parenting for Challenging Teens is a US-based
parenting course that does result in positive changes in parenting behaviour.
This course is offered in conjunction with family therapy to parents with
teenagers who have a history of problems with drugs, delinquency, mental
health, suicide and gang violence (Todd, 2000). The course adopts a reflecting
approach by providing information on teenage development, as well as the
principles that underpin key parental practices, such as monitoring, open
communication and conflict management. Evaluations of the service suggest
that it is useful in stabilising high-risk situations, as well as improving
parenting practices. Participating parents especially appreciate the emphasis
on developmental theory and have remarked that this approach was not used
in other parenting courses they attended.
The Parenting Order is a recent UK initiative that involves a mandate for
parents to attend a parenting course if their teenager has engaged in
significant degrees of misconduct, such as offending or truancy. Under the
terms of a Parenting Order, parents must engage with a parenting support
and education service in a form directed by the court or their local multiagency Youth Offending Team (YOT). Failure to comply with the terms of the
Order can result in criminal ‘breach’ proceedings, a return to court, and
potentially a fine or the issuance of a further Order.
YOTs are charged with the responsibility of providing and/or identifying
suitable services for these parents, as well as for other parents who are not in
receipt of an Order, but who may nevertheless benefit from a preventative
intervention. A recent evaluation of the initiative found that the courses
provided to parents varied widely among YOT teams (Ghate and Ramella,
2002), but that their impact was largely positive, demonstrating significant
short-term improvements in parents’ self reports of parent-child
communication, supervision and monitoring, and improved coping. Parental
participation in the course was also linked to a substantial reduction in
reconviction rates, although there was no way of determining whether these
changes were attributable to the parenting course or additional interventions
targeted at the teenager.
Services for families living in poverty
Economic hardship is a threat throughout the course of child development,
but is particularly problematic during the teenage years, since it compounds
the risks associated with teenage development and impedes entry into the
work force (Larson, Wilson and Mortimer, 2002). Sure Start and the
Children’s Fund are recent UK initiatives that comprehensively address child
development in impoverished communities, although no similar initiatives
73
exist for teenagers and their parents. While Connexions provides some
support to parents, it is largely education-focussed and does not contain a
preventative component (Biehal, 2006).
The US similarly does not have a nationally-based initiative targeting the
needs of families with teenagers living in poverty. However, there are a
number of regionally based services that look promising. One such initiative
is The Strong African American Families Program (SAAF; Brody et al, 2004; 2005).
This programme is available in African American communities in the
southern United States and aims to prevent delinquency, substance use and
early sexual activity by targeting specific parental and child behaviours
associated with these risks. It is offered universally to families receiving
unemployment benefits with preteen children and consists of seven 2.5 hour
sessions (with two booster sessions). During the first half hour of the session,
participants are served a meal so that families and group leaders can build
rapport with each other. During the next hour, parents and children attend
separate meetings where trained facilitators address issues specific with these
two groups. After this session, everyone comes together for a group meeting.
All sessions are videotaped. Once the course is completed, all parents and
adolescents will have received 14 hours of prevention training.
A recent evaluation of SAAF suggests that the initiative is an effective means
of reducing youth crime, drug use and irresponsible sexual behaviour. Parent
participants were observed to engage in more regulated, communicative
parenting than parents in the control group. Similarly, young people who
participated in the SAAF program reported higher levels of protective factors
than those who did not participate. In addition, positive parenting skills and
adolescent protective factors actually declined in the control families from pre
to post-test. These striking results suggest that participation in the SAAF
program serves a significant, protective function for families living in
impoverished communities (Brody et al, 2004).
6.4
Characteristics of both targeted and universal services
A common theme amongst family support programmes is that enrolment is
low and attrition is high. This is particularly true of services targeted at
families with teenagers. For these reasons, services need to adhere to several
key principles to ensure success in recruiting and retaining parents (McCurdy
and Daro, 2001; Moran et al, 2004):
• Informal is better than formal – most of the time. Parents are put off
by plenary sessions that do not provide scope for discussion. Parents
enjoy having the opportunity to share their experiences with others.
Services, nevertheless, benefit from some structure. Successful services
tend to offer a balance of teaching and group discussion.
•
Parents like expert advice. Parents appear to be more motivated to
attend and listen if they feel as though the information is coming from
a trained professional.
74
•
•
•
•
•
6.5
Professionals should be warm and engaged. Parents also like to feel as
though service facilitators care about them as individuals and that they
are empathetic and concerned about parents’ needs.
Services need to provide information that is easy to understand.
Parents will not engage in services that overload them with technical
information. Well-produced videos and DVDs appear to be a
particularly effective way of engaging parents.
Services need to provide practical, do-able advice. Even though
parents of teenagers appreciate reflecting advice, they still want
dispensing advice. They need to have concrete examples of how
theory translates into practice.
Services need to be non-stigmatising. This point is especially
important for parents of teenagers, since studies suggest that parents
worry that others will perceive them as a ‘bad parent’ if they seek help
(Henricsen, 1999; 2000).
Services should target ethnic and minority groups, as well as diverse
family structures. Although the principles are similar for most
parenting classes, programmes that market themselves in a way that
suggests that they are sympathetic to the needs of specific parenting
subgroups (e.g. black and minority ethnic groups, or lone parent
families) are more likely to attract these communities. Strengthening
Families, Strengthening Communities in the UK and SAAF in the US
are good examples of how this approach can be successful.
Key messages
As the world becomes progressively more complicated, teenagers will require
increasing levels of support to prepare adequately for their future, and those
in the best position to provide this support are their parents. In reviewing the
literature regarding the needs of parents and their teenagers, three themes
resonate. First, parents matter. Science now tells us that the teenage brain is
far less developed and far more malleable than was once originally assumed.
This finding places an increased emphasis on the role of the environment and
more importantly, the role of parents. Parents, however, come with their own
needs and in many instances require extra support to provide optimal levels
of care for their children. Evidence from this literature review suggests that,
at the very least, parents need to know what effective parenting practices are,
have some understanding as to why they are effective and feel reassured that
they are applying them correctly. In some cases, parents need further support
to manage more serious problems, such as mental health or financial
difficulties, which have the potential to impair significantly their ability to
parent effectively.
A second theme identified in this review is that quality parenting counts. In
this respect, effective parenting involves much more than the provision of
food, shelter and love. Effective parenting also involves specific mechanisms
that support the development of adolescent skills and thought processes. For
75
example, parents who actively resolve family conflict through patient
discussions are more likely to raise teenagers who exhibit greater self-control
and adopt a reflective and flexible approach to problem-solving. Therefore,
support for parents of teenagers should include information that promotes
effective parenting processes, not just family relationships in general.
Finally, when it comes to service provision, the theme that echoes the loudest
is prevention, prevention, prevention. Research repeatedly suggests that
preventative services are far more likely to improve teenage trajectories than
crisis interventions, since problems are often deeply entrenched once
interventions are required. As Utting (2003) observes, however, there are
currently few services available for parents and their teenagers that focus on
prevention. The findings from this scoping review provide further support
for this claim, suggesting that current statutory provision in the UK primarily
focuses on intervention at the time of crises. While a fair number of universal
services for parents of teenagers exist (such as helplines, etc), the extent to
which these services actually prevent problems from occurring remains
unclear. Findings from this literature review and scoping exercise suggest
that more preventative services are, therefore, required – especially those that
target specific parental processes known to reduce developmental risks. The
following sections consider these issues from the perspective of service
providers and parents, with the aim of understanding what is currently
working and what still needs to be done.
76
Chapter Seven: Professionals’ perceptions of parents’
needs
Box 7.1 Summary of findings from the interviews with professionals
This chapter presents the findings from the 46 interviews conducted in
person or by telephone with professionals who either provided or had an
interest in support services for parents of teenagers. The main points
arising from these interviews are as follows:
• The main reasons why parents seek support are to help them
through a period of transition – when their children are entering or
leaving secondary education – or when their children’s behaviour
and/or their own ability to cope have reached a crisis point.
• Parents of teenagers are often too embarrassed to seek help
because they feel they should know how to parent by this stage in
their children’s life.
• They are also reluctant to seek support for fear of being blamed and
stigmatised.
• When parents do decide to seek help, they are typically unsure of
where to find it.
• Advertising services can be useful but personal recommendation is
more effective in bringing parents to services.
• In general, provision of services for parents of teenagers is relatively
sparse, but provision suitable for BME parents is especially poor.
• Fathers are less likely to attend generic parenting courses and more
likely to seek help when a problem is serious or is not being
addressed by the mother. Imaginative methods are needed to attract
fathers to courses.
• Generic courses improve parents’ confidence and reassure them
that other parents have similar experiences and anxieties.
• One-to-one support is appropriate for parents with specific problems.
• Early intervention can prevent problems arising at a later date.
Therefore, general information about teenagers should be routinely
available to parents before their children enter the teenage years.
• Parents should be able to obtain support, including crisis
interventions, until their children reach the age of 20.
• A range of provision is needed for parents which should include
courses, one-to-one support, newsletters, drop-ins, and telephone
and Internet helplines.
• Interventions should take place in the community, but ideally not in
schools or children’s centres.
• Parents appear to prefer provision from voluntary organisations,
especially for generic courses, but are not uniformly averse to
statutory sector interventions. Ideally, the voluntary and statutory
sectors should provide services jointly.
77
7.1
Introduction
The material for this chapter is drawn from the series of interviews with
professionals who were involved either directly or indirectly, or had an
interest in, the provision of services to parents of teenagers. These include
professionals working in the wider parenting field who were interviewed as
part of our Phase One scoping exercise, and representatives of and
stakeholders in the ten case study services in Phase Two (See Table 2.1). The
purpose of the interviews was to explore how those with knowledge and
experience of the support available to the parents of teenagers thought that
services are or could be best provided to meet parental needs. This chapter
reports the findings from those interviews, focusing on the following:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
The reasons why parents of teenagers seek help
Support which addresses their needs
Times when parents are most likely to need or seek help
Reaching parents
Engaging specific groups of parents
Location
Type and source of support
Models of support
Delivery
Staff
Working with other agencies
Barriers to seeking help
The direct quotes used to illustrate the findings stem chiefly from recorded,
face-to-face, in-depth interviews with professionals in Phase One of the study
and with service providers in Phase Two. All other interviews were
conducted on the telephone and were not tape-recorded. Consequently, there
is a limited amount of speech written verbatim during the interview which
can reliably be used for direct quotes. However, information from all
interviews has been used to generate the findings reported in this chapter.
All quotes are followed by a reference which indicates their source but
preserves the anonymity of the respondent. Phase One respondents are
denoted by ‘P1’ followed by a letter of the alphabet allocated to that
respondent. Provider, frontline, strategic and stakeholder quotes are followed
by the number of the service to which that person is attached. Numbers
correspond to those in the categorisation chart in Chapter Two (See Table 2.1).
Where two stakeholders from one service were interviewed, they are
distinguished by ‘a’ or ‘b’ after their service number (e.g ‘Stakeholder 6a).
7.2
The case study services
78
Our case study sample consisted of one national service, three local services
delivering a national programme and six local services, one of which had
national advocacy but only local delivery. None of them was a provider
exclusively of services for the parents of teenagers: all provided either
interventions for other groups of parents or young people or other
interventions related to their area of expertise (e.g. drugs work).
One (statutory) service only accepted referrals from other agencies, and three
were based entirely on self-referrals, though recommendations about use of
the service might be made by workers in other agencies. In the remaining six
services, parents could either refer themselves or be referred by an agency.
Some services provided a selection of delivery models for the parents of
teenagers, while others were confined to one mode of delivery only. In the
latter category were one which provided only a one-to-one intervention and
three which offered only group work. A further two provided groups plus
another form of help such as a translation service or provision of information
on a website. Four services offered a much wider menu of activities which
might include groups, one-to-one work, helplines and web-based
information.
Half the services provided a generic intervention, dealing with the wider
issues of bringing up teenagers and available to all parents or carers (and, in
one case, other professionals). The other half dealt with specific issues, such as
drug use, sex education and anti-social behaviour, or were targeted at specific
groups of parents, i.e. those from ethnic minorities. Only one service
involved teenagers directly and one other might have done but they usually
elected not to attend.
The table below sets out the number of parenting courses run by each of the
nine services between January and April 2006 and the total number of parents
who attended these groups. The number of attendees ranged from 8 to 515.
Table 7.1. Number of groups and users, January to April 2006
Service
Number of
Total number of parents attending
groups run
1
2
16
2
1
6-8*
3
4
52
5
10
73 (11 couples)
6
3
19 (1 couple and 18 young people)
7
2
26
8
9
515 (1% couples)
9
4
24 (‘not many’ couples)
10
6
24
* The subsequent interview with the service provider indicated that only three parents had attended.
The table below shows the number of parents using the one-to-one
intervention provided by five organisations between January and April 2006.
79
Table 7.2. Number of users of one-toone interventions, January to April
2006
Service
Number of
parents attending
4
68 (15 couples)
5
83
6
80
9
80
10
130
Of the nine organisations which delivered services on a group basis, four ran
them during the daytime only, two during the evening only and three ran
them at both times. The five organisations which operated on a one-to-one
basis (including the provision of a telephone helpline) ran services during the
daytime and evenings. Most respondents reported that the main factors
influencing delivery times were related to the preferences of their actual and
potential users.
Thus, services operated at times which fitted around parents’ employment,
children’s school times or the cultural, religious or domestic requirements of
the family. Those services which ran helplines either opened for very long
periods of each day or at times which their in-house research had shown to be
the most popular. Only one worker – in the statutory sector – stated that
delivery times were constrained by the availability of staff and premises.
With the exception of one organisation which was funded by the statutory
sector, services generally operated with a minimum number of staff. Of the
nine for which we have information, three services operated with no full-time
staff and a further three had only one person employed full-time. One relied
heavily on the use of volunteers. It is also worth noting that very few full or
part-time staff had permanent contracts. The table below shows the numbers
of full- time and part-time paid staff and unpaid volunteers working in each
service.
Table 7.3. Number of staff in services
0
1
Number of staff/volunteers
2-3
4-5
6-8
9-10
80
11+
Dk
No. of services with this
number of full-time paid
staff
No. of services with this
number of part-time paid
staff
No. of services with this
number of unpaid
volunteers
3
3
1
2
3
1
6
1
2
1
1
2
1
1
1
1
Most services operated some system of monitoring or evaluation, and some
used more than one method. These are set out in the table below. Seven
services reported that they would consider conducting an evaluation in the
future.
Table 7.4. Monitoring and evaluation
Evaluation Method
Pre and post questionnaires
Feedback and assessment from users
Monitoring referrals and data
Internal evaluation
External evaluation
Numbers
3
2
2
1
4
Future provision of services was, according to frontline workers, dependent
on a variety of factors which included demand/interest from parents and
referrals from other agencies. Staff time and availability were also seen to
influence what happened in the future, as were the priorities of the agency,
re-organisation and, inevitably, funding.
7.3
Why parents of teenagers seek support
According to the professionals interviewed in this study, parents of teenagers
typically looked for support for one of two reasons. The first was in
anticipation of the transitions taking place in all families during the teenage
years, such as the move to secondary school and the need for greater
independence. The second was in response to problems already occurring,
such as a teenager’s current behaviour, or habits and attitudes which had
become difficult to manage.
A period of transition
The transition to secondary school was recognised by professionals as
marking a particularly difficult stage in the life, not only of the child but of the
parents, too. During the primary school years, the parental presence in and
around school was usually accepted by children and welcomed by teaching
and support staff. For teachers, parental involvement was not only conducive
to better outcomes for the child, but might also be seen as an additional
source of help within the classroom (for example, with reading). At
81
secondary school neither of these was the case. Children became embarrassed
by their parents’ presence, and the specialised staff no longer needed or
wanted their help. As one professional remarked:
The relationship between the staff and the parents is much more distant. I
mean, some of these heads of primary schools, they’re very much like
controlling their flock, it’s a very different sort of relationship with the
parents, you know, with the head or a teacher at a secondary school, the whole
subject changes, there isn’t just one person they relate to, there are all these
different subject teachers … (P1.D)
Thus, parents who once might have been able to discuss child-related
problems with school staff or informally amongst themselves, now found
themselves dealing with problems on their own. As a result, parents who
might previously have felt wanted, or at least accepted, now felt superfluous
and abandoned. This could easily lead to a situation where parents believed
themselves to be the only ones facing problems with their teenagers. As one
interviewee pointed out:
It becomes a family unit on its own… I’ve no doubt that one of the struggles
is with a sense of isolation and loneliness. … you shut the front door and
nobody knows what the problems are in this house. ... And a sense of ‘we’re the
only family that goes through this.’ (P1.A)
Furthermore, where formal avenues of support were open to them at
secondary school level, the issues confronting the parents of teenagers might
be the very ones that were not appropriate for discussion in such a setting.
Parents of teenagers can be extraordinarily isolated. They’re not hanging
around the school gates anymore, and the difficulties are often such that they
don’t feel comfortable about talking to friends, or even going to something at
the school. For example, if they’re worried about the friends that their teenager
is mixing with, then actually going to a school- based parenting programme
might confront them with the parents of those teens. …, or if their teenagers
are doing something that’s illegal, they then need confidentiality, and they
don’t want to disclose things in front of other parents who are known to them.
(P1.C)
Actual or anticipated problems
Professionals recognised – and this is borne out by our interviews with
service users – that a small number of parents of pre-teens might be aware
that the teenage years could be difficult for all the family and wished to take
pre-emptive action. This might mean equipping themselves with information
about what is ‘normal’ behaviour and what they might anticipate witnessing
in their teenage children, and then arming themselves with the requisite skills
to deal with the issues which arose.
82
However, for many parents the trigger for their seeking support was likely to
be a particular incident which had been fuelled by a series of events and
circumstances. Although the incident might be of a serious nature, such as
the beginning of criminal proceedings against the child, it was just as likely to
be an everyday occurrence such as an argument, or even an unrelated
domestic event. As one professional described:
It will be about a straw having broken the camel’s back. So it might be that the
child promised faithfully that this week they really would do all their
homework, and go to school, and Monday morning comes and it’s all gone
belly up, and the parent just can’t bear it anymore, and thinks ‘No, I can’t do
this on my own’ … Often, there’ll be a long and well established pattern of
quite difficult and destructive and damaging behaviour, but something will
have happened … but sometimes not very obviously linked. So sometimes it
might be ‘The washing machine broke down, and I found myself howling’ … I
remember years ago doing some work with a group of mental health users
about when was a crisis a crisis, and it was the same sort of thing, but the
thing that was most frequently mentioned was the washing machine breaking
down. The final straw, ‘Now I can’t even do the washing. My daily life is no
longer possible, I must be in crisis.’ (P1.C)
Parents’ own issues
In addition to the problems arising directly out of the parent/teenager
relationship, were issues related to the parents’ own circumstances. Several
professionals highlighted the stresses associated with parental conflict,
separation, divorce and re-partnering and the impact that these could have on
children.
I think the biggest cause … if you’re looking in the parenting field, is parents
who are in conflict with each other. It used to be very harsh parenting and
then research showed it was inconsistent parenting. And now more and more
it’s coming out that where there is a lot of conflict within the family that leads
to a higher risk of offending. (Provider 6)
If you dig around, a lot may have gone wrong in that family in the past, there
might have been domestic violence, or divorce, or a bereavement. (P1.C)
One pointed to the unfortunate fact that midlife issues and marital problems
often coincided with the teenage years.
The two prime times when people split up (are) when the kids were young, so
between 0 to 2 years ... But as far as I’m aware the second big split is when the
kids become teenagers, when families hit rock bottom and split…. kids become
teenagers (and) they’ve got a need to express themselves and listen to the
music and play the instruments, so they’re loud. But then you’ve got the
parents, (and) … the parents are going through a phase when they, it could be
some mid-life stuff going on. You’ve got the teenager who is expressing him or
83
herself, being loud. And the parent may be retreating almost, saying hang on,
gather the troops and what am I going to do, and am I happy in this job and
am I happy with my husband or wife? So there’s a funny dual thing. (P1.A)
In situations where the parents were separated, the parents’ subsequent
relationships with new partners occasionally affected the teenagers’
behaviour and this became the trigger for parents seeking help. While repartnering was not a sudden event, the point at which a parent re-married, a
new partner moved in with the family, or a parent had another child from a
new relationship, brought home the reality of a situation.
7.4
Addressing the needs of parents of teenagers
The professionals participating in this study provided many different
examples of the reasons why parents sought help. Though not specifically
categorised as such by professionals, the ways in which parents’ needs could
best be addressed generally fell into the categories of dispensing, relating and
reflecting support, originally identified by Miller and Sambell, 2002 (See
Section 6.2).
Dispensing support
It was clear that most parents wanted information on specific issues, and sex
and drugs were a primary focus of concern. One worker remarked that
parents were concerned about sex and relationships because ‘our society is so
sexualised.’ Another professional observed that while sex-related questions
were not necessarily the primary reason parents called helplines, it usually
emerged as an area of concern.
This is an area that parents find difficult to talk to their kids about, you know,
part of the overall British culture and lack of openness around sexual
relationships, but I guess it’s also an area where there’s opportunity for big
conflict within families. (P1.G)
Potential rather than actual teenage drug use was an area of major disquiet for
many parents. As one worker pointed out:
You know they are terrified, terrified beyond all reason and perspective about
drugs. So that comes up all the time. (Provider 3)
For those where problematic drug or alcohol misuse was a reality, the
problems often were acute and required urgent help on legal issues. Because
their immediate need was for information, these parents were likely to use the
Internet or a telephone help-line initially, though they might subsequently
access other forms of parenting support once the urgent problem was sorted.
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Other factors that triggered parents’ need for dispensing advice included:
issues pertaining to their teenagers’ under-achievement or potential
disengagement from school; bullying and being bullied; the adverse influence
of peers and older children; criminal activities; self-harming or challenging
behaviour at home. In some cases, this challenging behaviour might be a
result of ADHD or high levels of ongoing conflict within the home.
Relating support
The professionals also observed that most parents sought support or
reassurance that they were ‘good enough’ and that their child was ‘normal.’
As one professional remarked, some parents wondered whether they were
worrying about the right things.
Are they, for example, supposed to be worried because their child has taken to
staying in bed all day? Is it a sign of depression or is it normal behaviour for
teenagers? (P1.F)
Unsatisfactory communication was also a primary source of concern.
And it’s more than a joke that teenagers simply don’t communicate with their
parents. And parents find this is very, very difficult. I was just talking with
somebody today and she was telling me her son, who is 13, is going through
the stage of just grunting. You know, and this is kind of what happens. You
know, perfectly nice normal boys or girls suddenly turn into teenagers and
cease to communicate with their parents, and parents find this really, really
difficult. (P1.B)
In addition, the professionals observed that parents sought reassurance for
many of the same concerns originally cited in the literature review (see
Section 5.1). For example, some felt that the ongoing negative press teenagers
receive troubled some parents unnecessarily.
I think the media doesn’t do us any help… because all of the coverage is very
sensationalist and hysterical and, you know, nobody could be blamed for
thinking that teenage pregnancies were on the increase, when in fact they’re
not. (P1.G)
Others observed that parents were often unsure about how to redefine their
relationship with their child as he or she became older, while others wanted
to restore the sense of closeness they had had with their child when he or she
was younger.
I think that people are more unsure this generation than they have been before
‘cos I think they partly want to be their (teenage children’s) friends but then
… they just don’t know quite where they fit in with it all. (Provider 1)
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You know you get like, ‘Well we do shout at each other, we never have fun any
more, those sort of things.’ (Provider 2)
You know, it may be something in the way of wanting a better relationship
with their child, it may be that they want to feel better, or more able to deal
with the problems. (Provider 4)
A teenager’s increased need for privacy was a source of concern for others:
Tensions in relationships which lead to secret lives that children cannot own
up to and parents cannot confront. (Stakeholder 9a)
You know, the secrecy bit. The boy becoming very secret about what’s going
on in his bedroom or, you know, this business of staying up late. (P1.B)
There was another group of parents, however, confronting very serious
problems with their teenager and whose needs were more ‘desperate’.
Relating support was particularly important for these individuals, since many
had completely lost confidence in their ability to parent effectively.
(The main issue is) loss of parental confidence and parental authority. They
can feel bullied by the situation … They want to restore their parental role.
(Strategic 4)
Some parents, they really are feeling out of control in their house, but putting
very, very simple strategies in place gives them back, in a very positive way
some control. And then their confidence grows as a parent and they can start
asserting themselves in a different way. (Provider 3)
A lot of what we do is about … empowering people to have greater control
within their own family. (Provider 10)
Reflecting support
Although parents did not always seek help for ‘reflecting’ reasons, the
professionals believed that this was a key factor in effective service delivery.
They made the distinction between parents’ need for facts and their need for
self-awareness. The former included accurate information about common
issues, such as drug and alcohol use and sexual activity, so that parents could
gain a sense of reality and combat their media-driven fears. An example of
this was given by a professional working with black and minority ethnic
(BME) parents who commented that they typically perceived the world in
which their teenagers lived to be more dangerous than it actually was.
Furthermore, many practitioners felt it was important that parents
understood why their teenagers behaved as they did. In order to do this, one
practitioner spent a great deal of time researching adolescent neurological
development, so that she could share this information with the parents
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attending her course. She believed that if parents understood what was
happening in teenagers’ minds, they would become more tolerant of their
behaviour.
On the … course, the key, the absolute key is an understanding of where the
behaviour might be coming from. (Provider 3)
This practitioner felt the knowledge would then help parents modify their
attitudes so that they could develop more effective strategies for dealing with
their teenager. For some parents, this meant changing their expectations and
not setting too many goals or placing their teenager under too much pressure.
For others, it meant ‘letting go’ and allowing their children to move towards a
greater level of independence within secure and agreed limits.
You can see some parents who want to keep a very tight hold of their children as
they did when they were tiny tots. … And it’s this letting go. Letting them
grow into independence is so difficult. It’s not a criticism of the parents, it’s
really difficult to do. … How do you suddenly start letting go? … If you
haven’t been progressively moving towards that and you haven’t allowed you
know, maybe your children, maybe to have to sleepovers with their friends and
allowed them to have some input into their school, their choice of holidays and
things. If you’ve done everything for them, you know some people, some young
people are resenting this. They really desperately want to break away and be
their own person. … (T)hey probably do need some boundaries. But they don’t
want to be strangled by them. (P1.B)
In a similar vein, another professional observed that parents’ behaviour was
often connected to their own past histories, and it was therefore necessary for
them to reflect on the reasons for this, before it would be possible to modify
their own behaviour.
And so it’s about asking the group members to go back as to how they were
parented. … What they carried into their own parenting. And how
appropriate is that. … Your own background, your own family values can
be imposed if you like on young people in a very unfair and inappropriate way.
… So I suppose it (the course) would have been built around not looking
always at the other party. In other words not looking at the teenager, but
looking at ourselves first and foremost. . … How they (parents) behave, so
often reflects how they were brought up. (P1.B)
‘…throughout the group she recognised how she had been parented herself. In
fact how the parent had been parented. And how that had made her change
how she parented, to the detriment of their relationship. … So she was
basically saying when she was parented she was parented in a very strict,
authoritarian way where she was beaten. And that she'd come out of that
thinking ‘Well, I'm not going to parent like that. I'm going to be much better
and nicer parent.’ But she'd actually gone the other way. She'd not put any
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boundaries in place for her teenager. She'd not… she'd been too soft, in her
words really. (Provider 5)
7.5 Times when parents of teenagers are most likely to need
support
During the interviews, we also explored professionals’ views regarding when
parents were most likely to need help. As mentioned in the previous section,
they typically made a distinction between crisis-driven help and the need for
general information. For the former group, the trigger for accessing support
could occur at any age, but was most likely to happen when the teenager was
between 14 to 16 years. However, parents seeking general, or preventative
support, could have a teenager of any age - as young as eleven or as old as 19.
These lower and upper ages were usually related to times of transition, such
as the transfer from primary to secondary school, already discussed, or the
final move out of school and into employment or higher education.
(We) deal with a lot of 18,19 and 20 year-olds that have yet to make that
transition out of school and into employment or higher education. The young
people can be isolated individuals who are not functioning socially. (Strategic
4)
… the late teens, parents have difficulty in letting go of their teenage children to
go to university or vice versa, of course: putting enormous pressure on them to
go to university. (P1.B)
Some professionals considered that there was a gender difference and that
help with parenting boys and girls might be required at different ages.
However, there was no general consensus on when this might be. While one
professional thought that girls probably required earlier intervention (around
the age of 12), another believed that this help should come at age 14 or 15 and
that for boys it should be provided anytime between 11 and 18.
The main consensus amongst the professionals was that preventative support
would be the most beneficial – in other words, before the transition to
secondary school, typically when children were as young as nine years.
During this time, parents might typically be seeking advice with regard to
their child’s education, and strategies learned at this time could actually
prevent problems occurring later.
All the evidence suggests that intervening during the pre-teen years will lessen
the likelihood of intervention during later years. (Strategic 8)
One worker pointed out that engaging parents of ten year-olds was
particularly appropriate for BME groups.
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… before transition to secondary school. This can sometimes be a shock to
BME parents who find it difficult to engage with schools. (Frontline 7)
Some professionals cautioned against being too prescriptive in terms of age,
however. They believed that the developmental stage rather than the actual
age of the child should influence when support would be most effective.
They all mature at different times so … one child you may find that they, you
know, at twelve or thirteen are really battling against any kind of rule whereas
sometimes it can sort of be fifteen, sixteen and sometimes it can go on later..
(Provider 1)
And because adolescent development is so individual, when they go through
the different stages, it’s very difficult to identify a particular time to focus on, I
think. Because some of the emotional development of adolescence takes place at
different times according to, you know, their previous history and all the rest
of it. And their maturity in other ways. So I think there’s a slight danger in
focusing on a particular age group. I think it’s back to their developmental
stage rather than their sort of chronological age. (Provider 6)
7.6
Reaching parents: advertising and referrals
When we ask parents how they’ve heard about us, they often say ‘The phone
book’. Now we think that means someone told them, or they heard someone or
saw something and then looked us up. We can’t really believe that parents just
open the phone book … and go ‘Oh yes, I’ll go to them.’ (P1.C)
How to ensure that parents were aware of services was identified as a major
question for services. The issues encompassed the medium, place and cost of
advertising, and balancing demand and supply. But the crux of the matter
appeared to be that no matter where or how often services were advertised,
parents appeared unlikely to absorb the information unless it was found at a
time of need.
‘Drip-feeding’
The most frequently used method of advertising was what one respondent
described as ‘drip-feeding’ - through leaflets made constantly available in
GPs’ surgeries, health centres, libraries and local schools. Churches were also
cited as places for publicising services. One practitioner had particular
success with a course run at a parish centre and began mailing to a number of
local churches. This manager felt that churches’ interest in families and
family welfare made it more likely that they would promote parenting
services.
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The professionals remarked that schools often ‘drip fed’ information via
mailshots taken home by pupils. However, this method of advertising was
unreliable, since there was no guarantee that the leaflets would be delivered,
or even received if the teenager were truanting from school. As one
professional observed ‘Sending stuff home in the school satchel doesn’t work. …
The stuff isn’t getting there.’ (P1.D)
Personal contact
Face-to-face visits to GPs’ surgeries were effectively adopted by workers in a
statutory service. Their objective was to provide information about the
intervention, partly to encourage referrals and partly to discourage
inappropriate referrals. However, their experience was that the visits to
surgeries had to be made on a regular basis to achieve this.
Nevertheless, face-to-face contact and word-of-mouth appeared to be among
the most useful methods of getting services known in local communities. One
service, which had initially struggled with recruitment, found that it was no
longer necessary to advertise their course, after it had become so well-known
in the community through personal recommendations. Conversely, another
respondent described a situation where it proved impossible to recruit
parents, because of a lack of support from the community.
What we know has been hopeless, is we lay on a course, and the school or
family centre say ‘It’s fine, we’ll get the parents there.’ Forget it. That will
work after we’ve been working with that venue for a year, because actually it’s
word of mouth that will work. So the school can say, have built a good
relationship with the parents, but the parents still need to know from other
parents that it’s okay, and word of mouth in local areas is increasingly
important … other parents recruiting and telling about it. (P1.C)
Paid advertising
Some services reported taking out advertisements in local newspapers, but
generally resented the cost of this publicity, especially in relation to their
overall effectiveness. Obtaining free coverage in the local press often came
with conditions which were unacceptable to providers and users.
We advertise every so often in local newspapers but again it’s the cost factor. If
we’ve got something new going ahead, like we had a re-launch of one of the
local groups last month, and we’ll ask the local newspaper to come down and
do a bit of a freebie if they can. But again it’s hit and miss. Sometimes they’ll
do it, and the other side we’re always very wary of is when … you’re talking
about families, they want the nitty gritty, they want to interview a client, they
want their heart and their soul, and that’s when we have to say no. So there
are ways of publicising it, but what we find hard is the media without the,
without them wanting your blood and guts basically. (Provider 9)
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More wealthy, national, organisations used a variety of means, such as the
media, adverts on bus shelters and inside buses - but the cost of these was
usually outside the range of most services’ budgets. However, one of the less
wealthy services (a charity with statutory funding) felt that high-profile
advertising was extremely effective, especially if professionals were going to
be used to transmit the message.
… going round communities, going into GPs’ surgeries, asking to speak to
practice managers, asking to do presentations at people’s team meetings so we
can raise awareness. Leave posters, leave cards, you know, so you’re really
putting it in somebody else’s hand and you’re saying, you know, ‘if a family
member comes in and you think that they need support, will you please give
them our card’, so that they can then self refer. (Provider 9)
On the other hand, expensive advertising and a high media profile did not
always result in greater awareness among parents. One of our respondents
cited research exploring how parents use the Internet to find help. This
showed that the sites that they look at are the ones that have a name they
recognise and trust, such as the BBC or DfES. However, parents appeared
more suspicious of sites that did not come across as ‘proper’ – that is, sites
without a history or a professional endorsement. Even if parents found these
sites to be helpful initially, they were unlikely to revisit them.
Many of the professionals agreed that a balance needed to be struck between
attracting clients and not exceeding supply. The main issue appeared to be
staying in the public eye.
We don’t advertise to the point where we just can’t cope, because that
wouldn’t be fair on parents. (But) we see the public education as just a
constant, we just want to be out there all the time. … Because our view is
people only think they need you at the point at which they need you, and
therefore you can’t say ‘Oh, we’ll do our annual advert – and tough luck on
everybody that hasn’t seen it.’ (P1.C)
Referrals
Professional referral was another way services ‘advertised’ themselves. For
example, parents were often referred by education or health professionals or
the youth court system to statutory services offering support. Referrals from
statutory services to voluntary parenting organisations were less likely,
however. One respondent speculated on the reasons:
We do (get some referrals) but we don’t get a lot and that’s a bit of a query
really because you’d think you’d get a lot more. I mean I don’t know if it’s
something about the nature of the contact that Social Services can have with
parents where it maybe feels less voluntary. Parents perhaps feel a bit more
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sent than wanting to go somewhere they want to go themselves. We have had
some and we certainly would see more if we could. (Provider 4)
As we have already seen, those working with parents in this sector were keen
for other services to provide information so that parents could refer
themselves and thus retain a degree of autonomy. Self-referrals to the
statutory services in this sample were possible, though in one case the
procedure was so complicated and the paperwork so overwhelming that
parents were advised to approach a professional to request a referral.
7.7
Reaching specific groups
Researchers were asked during the in-depth interviews if there were specific
groups whose needs were not well served by current provision, and, if so,
how they could be encouraged to access support during their children’s
teenage years.
Black and ethnic minority groups
It is clear that most parenting services struggle to engage BME families
regardless of their child’s age. However, having very few parents from these
groups in our case study sample, we are unable to add a great deal from the
parents’ perspective. Parentline Plus recently carried out consultations with
BME parents through a general web-based survey and through specific focus
groups held with Afro-Caribbean mothers, Gujarati mothers and fathers,
Pakistani fathers and Punjabi mothers. The research concluded that ethnic
minority parents do not wish to be treated differently from other parents
seeking support but would like services to show an understanding and
respect for their culture and value-system. Moreover, BME groups should not
be perceived as homogenous, and differences between cultures should be
recognised and addressed in service delivery.
For parents of teenagers who were consulted in the Parentline Plus study,
there were particular concerns about their children’s adherence to parental
belief systems and codes of conduct. The movement of teenagers between
firmly rooted cultural or religious traditions in their home or community and
what might be seen as a majority culture with different values, was a potential
source of anxiety for these parents, over and above the anxieties that beset
most parents of teenagers. In some cultures, for example, teenage dating especially for girls - was not acceptable but was commonplace among their
white peers.
The Parentline Plus research pointed to a potential problem for some BME
parents arising from the fact that their customary reliance on family, friends
and community elders did not serve them well when it came to concerns over
their teenagers’ behaviour. Issues such as drug and alcohol use, mental
health problems, sexual relationships and teenage pregnancy outside
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marriage, were generally taboo topics because they were considered to be a
source of dishonour. Therefore, BME families might have difficulty accessing
help on these matters within their own communities. Nevertheless, one of the
professionals interviewed in our own research was of the opinion that some
parents were happy to discharge their responsibility for discussing delicate
topics to other family members.
But for Muslim and Sikh parents there were issues around it just not being an
issue that was discussed within the family particularly, but an acceptance that
they would be going to older siblings and sort of friendly aunts and uncles for
those sorts of discussions, and perfectly happy for that to happen, you know, as
long as they felt they had somebody they could go and talk to. … Even if that
person wasn’t proactively trying to be their sex educator, they were a point of
support if it was needed, or if they were confused about something, or didn’t
understand something, they would be the person to go to. That’s part of that,
just sort of broader, extended family role, that maybe doesn’t exist quite so
much in our culture these days. (P1.G)
Overall, the Parentline Plus research pointed to a need for services that
provided information, advice and support to BME parents in a sensitive
manner. Providers of generic services in our study were conscious of this,
and believed that they could do more to ensure that services were appropriate
for all families. In some cases, lack of provision was due to the fact that few
BME families lived in their catchment area.
That’s another area that we specifically need to look and try and develop … we
have a very small percentage but we’re not the only service in S and the county
to have very small numbers. I think it’s different in the city; they’re obviously
dealing with a lot more people. (Provider 9)
Another service provider, who had initially attracted parents of different
cultural backgrounds to her generic parenting course, described a situation
where funding conditions restricted the families they could access.
It’s difficult because since we’ve had to draw our horns in and concentrate our
efforts on this post-coded area because of the funding, that’s changed the
dynamics of my groups, because I’m now in a predominantly white area.
(Provider 3)
Interestingly, this provider found that parents from other countries did not
necessarily want consideration of their own culture. Instead, these parents
felt it was important to learn about the culture in which their teenage children
would be growing up.
But (a recent group) had a lady who’d come from Zambia recently with children.
And she was coming in because her children’s teenage experience would have
been very different at home and she was trying to get a bit of an idea of how it
was going to be for her here. (Provider 3)
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One service had black staff among its workforce and would usually appoint
one of them to be the main worker for service users from their own
community. However, there was no automatic assumption that families
would prefer a worker from the same background as themselves and
discussions would always take place with users about who their key worker
might be.
Another provider pointed to the importance of recognising the individuality
of all families, not only those from BME backgrounds, and of taking all
cultural values into account.
I think it’s also trying to be aware of every parent having differences, you know,
and … particularly working in a borough with a lot of different ethnic groups,
different cultures, it’s certainly taking each individual family’s culture into
account and wanting to, having to work within that, having to take note of that
and wanting to respect what people’s circumstances are. (Provider 4)
Whether workers in other services were adequately prepared to address the
needs of parents from different backgrounds was not clear. One provider
considered that, despite the previous absence of BME parents from the
service, the content of the course manual would be sufficiently flexible to
cover the circumstances of all parents.
The manual is being written at the moment but it’s adaptable enough to
address different groups. We haven’t had ethnic groups probably because of
the nature of (the county). (Provider 6)
On the other hand, another worker stressed the ramifications of inadequate
preparation and the need for relevant training to have been received.
Although we welcome anybody, I would be concerned that one of my workers
was talking to somebody with, I don’t know, a Muslim or, you know, a
background that maybe couldn’t enforce boundaries and didn’t have control of
situations. I would want sufficient training for the workers first because the
last thing you would want to do is go and upset somebody. Because it is, they
are a close knit… (community). … that you only, you do it wrong the first
time or once and that’s gonna go round, you know, which disadvantages
people even more. (Provider 9)
However, meeting the needs of BME parents appeared to extend more widely
than providers being more aware or ‘trying a bit harder’. Professionals were
conscious of the fact that reaching some sectors of the community required an
initial investment of resources which, typically, was not within their budget.
Services generally operated with low levels of funding or staff – and often
both – and the development work needed to provide services for groups who
were not attracted to existing provision was beyond their means. Addressing
this required recognition from policy makers and funders that it was an
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essential aspect of the work, not an optional extra.
With black and minority ethnic community families, again, our experience is
that they need to feel that it’s going to be safe and appropriate, and the best way
you can do that is offering things at community venues that are of their own
community, working jointly with community based organisations, working in
their own language, either because you’ve got bilingual staff, or because you
have interpreters, but you know, you’ve got to meet them where they are. And to
learn and do all of this, and learn who to work with involves intensive and very
time-consuming outreach and development work. And one of the things we keep
trying to explain to policy makers is that if you’re trying to reach groups that
who wouldn’t ordinarily access services, then the cost of the delivery must
include the outreach and development work. (P1.C)
Fathers
The majority of service providers mentioned that they had difficulty
attracting fathers. This was particularly the case with voluntary parenting
courses. However, there was some evidence to suggest that fathers were not
averse to using other models of parenting support, suggesting that it might be
the classes, rather than the support, that they were avoiding.
One respondent pointed to the fact that, in her experience, fathers had a
different method from mothers of asking for help: they were more likely to
approach a service with a request for a specific piece of information, rather
than admit that they needed help.
Fathers are much more likely either to say ‘I want you to give me some
information about …’, and only talk about it after you’ve offered to send a
leaflet. ‘Oh yes, we’ve got a leaflet. Would you like to talk about it?’ and then
they will, but the start point is they want information. (P1. C)
Furthermore, in the view of the same respondent, fathers might believe that
their presence was not necessary when the situation was not urgent.
They’re much more likely to ring, either because they’re not resident, or because
a crisis has hit about particular things. So they won’t ring about what they
would consider to be more run of the mill, they would leave that to the mum, but
if they feel very withdrawn and isolated and unable to influence, they’ll ring,
and if they think something is going badly adrift and mum isn’t dealing with it
properly, or isn’t dealing with it at all, or needs help in dealing with it, then
they’ll ring. (P1. C)
On this hypothesis, fathers were unlikely to participate in generic parenting
courses which were most often used to address less serious concerns or to
prevent problems from occurring. However, they might be more inclined to
access one-to-one counselling support and helplines which were typically
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used at a time of crisis, when attention to the situation could not be postponed
or ignored.
It was clear from our interviews with providers who had failed to persuade
fathers to attend courses that their lack of success did not stem from lack of
trying. Advertising strategies and amended delivery times had still failed to
attract fathers.
And we’ve tried all, we’ve tried advertising at different places. We’ve tried you
know different sorts of publicity, we’ve tried, I don’t know, we’ve tried, oh I
don’t know, all sorts of things. But it’s not something they readily access. ...
We’ve tried evenings, … you know like a twilighting course, we’ve tried an
evening course. … It didn’t work. (Provider 3)
Even those providers with many years’ experience of managing and
delivering courses still found that they encountered problems with fathers’
attendance.
Like two weeks ago, X and I did a Dads and Lads session in a family centre
where we’re both based and not many turned up. And things like that are really
important aren’t they, for me as a worker. Because I could just sit there and go
to this conference and say, ‘Yeah, it’s easy. Just put the leaflets out and you ask
a few dads, and - boing - they come.’ But it’s a bit of a reality check isn’t it.
And I haven’t got a magic wand. (P1.A)
Professionals struggled to find an explanation of why fathers of teenagers
were consistently reluctant to attend services. One respondent considered
that paternal non-involvement during the teenage years was merely a
continuation of their lack of involvement since their child’s birth. Those who
wanted to become more involved as their child got older still had no idea how
to change the status quo.
Dads so often don’t regard this as being of value. They think that parenting is
still the mother’s province if you like…. Now some dads are happy with being
sidelined and leaving mum to do the child rearing, but others aren’t. Others
actually would like to be more involved, but how do they get involved? It’s very
difficult. When they are the only dad down at the school gates for example, they
are viewed very suspiciously. (P1.B)
Long working hours and the pressures of (often) being the sole financial
provider for the family also reduced fathers’ ability to attend parenting
services. However, fathers were even less likely to attend services if they were
unemployed, despite their increased availability. At such times, the father
might feel emotionally as well as practically sidelined, and these feelings
might be particularly acute when the children were teenagers.
And this is a very typical classic example of what happens where dad was the
sole bread winner really. It was dad who brought the wages in, it was dad
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who was the head of the family. Children, pre-teenage children, of course
looked up to dad. Now dad hasn’t got a job anymore and once the euphoria of
the redundancy money has kind of worn off, dad realises life’s getting a bit
tough here, the money has started to run short so mum has to go out and
work. And what you’ve got there is of course that dad is no longer the
principal bread winner. And what we’re finding then is that often dad then
starts to withdraw because actually this is not good for his self-esteem at all.
Child ceases to look up to dad because he is no longer the head of the family, he
doesn’t even see himself as head of the family because he’s not earning. He’s
not, if you like, pulling his weight in the family and he’s spending his time
with his old comrades and he’s having a drink and what have you and
generally getting quite despondent. Mum is going out to work, mum’s the
chief bread-winner and still holding the family together and the children are
siding more with mum so dad is getting more and more polarised. (P1.B)
Another respondent felt that, irrespective of the father’s role in the family, the
problems were compounded as children grew older and more inclined to
challenge parental authority, making it difficult for some fathers to adapt.
Well I think if you look, you know this is not based on any sort of scientific
research, but the feedback from the groups that I’ve had is, you know, men’s
parenting style is so much more in the sort of authoritarian style. … The sense
that you can negotiate, compromise, listen… No. ‘They’ll be walking all over us.
Can’t do this, we’ll lose control.’ You know, it’s scary. They are scared by the
prospect …. I don’t think they have such an open mind if you like, as the women
that access the course. They (mothers) are not all coming because they’ve got
problems. You know sometimes they’re coming because they can see that things
are changing and they don’t feel equipped. It’s just that ‘I need more
information, I need more skills.’ But it’s having that open mind, not only to
identify that you need them but that actually you can go and get them.
(Provider 3)
This difference in parenting styles between mothers and fathers could have
further repercussions when a father not only did not attend, but also did not
necessarily support the mother’s involvement in the course and thus refused
to support the mother’s new strategies.
We measure (parental) laxness, verboseness, and over-reactivity… I’ve never
measured like a mum’s and a dad’s so I don’t know. We don’t tend, we only
measure whoever’s come to the group. So I suppose it must be frustrating if
they realise they’ve got better on a certain scale but like the dad’s not being
consistent with that parenting style. Actually those sort of issues tend to be
questions raised throughout the group. (Provider 2)
But it is usually mums that come, or female carers. … And a lot of the
frustration is then, is trying then to introduce new things into their parenting.
It’s very difficult. That’s a challenge in itself. … I mean sometimes I lose women
because of the conflict it’s causing at home. And it’s easier not to come, it’s
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easier not to continue than to try and carry on and the frustration that that then
brings. (Provider 3)
You know, you may have come on the course and your husband's a controlling
parent and … they haven't come on the course. (How effective?) Well, who
knows when they actually go back, and I think it's a hard one. (Provider 1)
Despite the negativity surrounding fathers’ involvement, some respondents
were able to suggest what might be effective. Interventions that focused on
fathers and (usually, though not exclusively) their sons appeared to have the
most success. One course offered some ‘lads and dads’ one-day workshops
which were based around joint, practical activities. According to one of the
professionals interviewed in Phase 1, this was the solution to involving
fathers.
.. .you can have a group of mums who would sit around and have a cup of coffee
and have a chat. But with a group of men, they wouldn’t really do that. It’s not
really the done thing. … So what we do is through the back door really. So we
encourage the father to come with the son. And sometimes girls come as well, so
it’s not exclusive, but it tends to be more geared towards the boy. And the father
feels more at ease to come with the boy because he’s not coming on his own if
you like. And the father’s got a bit more of an excuse if you like, because he’s
not really coming. He’s coming because of the boy. So they come together to
this activity. And once you’ve then got them in your building, you can then,
over time, when you’ve developed a relationship with this father, you can then
say, ‘Well do you want to do a course together?’ (P1.A)
Social class and parenting support
One theme that arose during the in-depth interviews was the relationship
between social class and participation in parenting course. Through these
interviews, it appeared as though two contradictory myths existed regarding
who did and did not seek support. One myth suggested that middle-class
parents were more likely to seek parenting support, while the other implied
that the middle classes were, in fact, less likely to seek help. The professionals
interviewed for this study were inclined to debunk both of these myths.
There has been a bit of a fantasy in the past that we’ve got kind of nice, cosy,
middle-class families, because they’re the ones that ring helplines, and it’s kind
of lightweight problems, it’s not serious. But I’m afraid one quiet listen to calls
will tell you that that is not the case, and you know, middle-class families are
not immune from serious difficulties with teenagers, but we certainly get the
full spectrum in terms of social class, and the range of difficulties are really
severe. (P1.C)
There is a difference between a family living in a well-off neighbourhood and a
family living on an estate. There is a difference. But it’s not, and this I
suppose is the good news for the class divide if you like, it’s not the be all and
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end all, it really isn’t. You can still find really desperate families on middleclass estates or families that are so isolated. … I don’t think it’s black and
white where you live that determines the level of problems you’ve got. (P1.A)
Reaching the hard to reach
While fathers and BME families might prove difficult to engage, the
practitioners were also aware of families who were almost impossible to
reach. In most instances, these were families living in poverty or on low
incomes.
I mean we’ve got specific areas that we would very much like to sort of bring
all sorts of learning into. … I mean I’ve worked in lot of very difficult, very
diverse areas of the city and it’s, to me the hardest to reach groups are the
white, predominantly white groups. … And certainly those are the sort of
estates that we struggle with. … I mean two of the ones that I’ve got in mind
are, you know, they’ll be on the government’s poverty statistics, figures, tables
whatever they are. And trying to engage with those parents. And you see then
schools don’t work because the parents predominantly are not engaged with
their children’s education. So trying to get in with a link through school is
very difficult. Sure Start has made it a little bit easier in some of these areas.
But then it’s the same faces you know, you go back, it’s the same faces that are
accessing the Sure Start project. And there are so many more sitting behind
the doors that you can’t, you just can’t get at. It is that learning, that fear of
learning, their previous negative experience of education. And I think a sense
that so much in their life can’t be changed, why would this be any different.
Why would I be able to make this any different? (Provider 3)
For this respondent the only solution to the problem would be to provide a
service within the community, with the constant presence of an outreach
worker who could establish a trusting relationship with families.
Parental ability
During the interviews, two of the service providers (representing statutory
sector generic parenting courses) remarked that their courses required a
certain level of parental literacy or cognitive ability. In one case, the written
materials associated with the course were not suitable for all parents. The
service provider remarked that those with lower levels of literacy were only
provided with ‘some funny things that they can just circle with their teenager.’
(Provider 6). In the other case, parents were, in effect, assessed and,
irrespective of need, could not be accepted on the course if their cognitive
ability did not match the requirements of the course.
We do a screening. So that would assess suitability for (Service 2). (It) requires
a certain sort of cognitive ability. There’s a lot of writing, … It’s a two-hour
bombardment essentially of information. And it’s homework as well. … And
obviously they’ll come to a few and they won’t come back if it’s not suitable. So
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it’s not in their interest or ours to offer it if it’s not suitable. So we would
screen. Or if it’s come from an appropriate source who knows about (Service 2)
then we would probably accept that referral. (Provider 2)
It seemed possible that a literacy requirement might, unfortunately,
discriminate against some parents, including those who were most needy.
7.8
Models of support
Courses and individual support
Professionals were asked about the ways in which models of support met the
needs of parents with teenagers. Such models of support ranged from groupbased training services to individual therapy. Some of the respondents
highlighted the dangers of thinking of parenting support only in terms of
formalised course-based learning.
We probably need to be aware of how parenting support is discussed – we tend
to refer to it in terms of parenting courses and parenting groups, but it can be
in written form and from a GP. There are so many ways parents can access
information. It could be problematic if it becomes over-formalised because it
won’t suit all parents. (P1. F)
But I don’t think that running parenting groups is the only answer, or even
the answer. … But for an awful lot of people you know, a different kind of
model would work as well, if not better. (P1. E)
Providers of courses and groups considered that one of their main advantages
was helping to reduce the isolation of parents and dispel the belief that they,
alone, were faced with particular difficulties.
And then they're all looking round at everybody else and they're going ‘Yeah,
everybody else kind of feels a bit like they've, like they’re not doing such a good
job.’ (Provider 1)
As they were invariably attended by mothers, courses could instil a
reassuring sense of solidarity among women who were, according to our
respondents, largely responsible for dealing with their family circumstances
and any problems which arose. They offered an opportunity to share both
their anxieties and their own proven strategies for addressing situations,
which most parents appreciated.
While parenting courses and groups might be seen as the most effective way
of engaging the maximum number of parents, our findings from the
interviews with frontline workers suggest that the courses did not always
achieve this (See Section 7.2). Low take-up sometimes led to courses being
cancelled, or run with only two participants. This occasionally created
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delivery problems, since courses generally relied upon parents contributing
examples of their own experiences, which was difficult when very few
parents were present.
According to our data from interviews with frontline workers, one-to-one
support appeared to be almost as effective as courses in terms of its reach.
However, the two models of intervention are not truly comparable in terms of
their function. While groups and courses could provide general information,
understanding and strategies, they could not be tailored to individual needs.
Even those which claimed to be client-led were generally (in accordance with
good practice) using a manual or following a set programme which only
allowed parents to contribute at specific points. Workers typically made
themselves available for individual conversations with parents before and/or
after a session but, inevitably, these were usually brief. One-to-one support,
on the other hand, could cover the full range of parents’ needs. Input might be
generalist but could also be tailored to parents’ own particular problems and,
crucially, take into account background factors, which could impact on the
success of the intervention.
We try and take into account individual circumstances all the time. … The
initial assessment that we do, we’re trying to make sense of how best to tailor
the support to people’s individual needs. (Provider 10)
Consequently, while one-to-one interventions could successfully provide both
generic (universal) advice and targeted support, the same was not true of
parenting courses. Parenting courses were only effective for addressing
generic problems, and thus created the risk of parents feeling frustrated and
unheard when their specific issues were not addressed. As one professional
remarked:
People don’t want a sort of ‘There, there’ but they do want empathy, and they
do want someone to give them enough attention to actually hear, properly,
what’s going on, and to respond to what’s really going on, rather than give
them some sort of trite piece of information, you know, ‘Oh, why don’t you do
that, it’ll be fine.’ (P1. C)
Drop-in service
Staff in one of the case study services located in the statutory sector also
worked in a local drop-in service for parents and their children. This was run,
initially as a pilot project, by the statutory agency, with funding from an SRB5
grant designed to help areas of the city with high indices of deprivation. The
service functioned in the school during lunchtime once a week, theoretically
for two hours, but, when demand was great, a session might stretch to four
hours. The service could be used by parents or children or both together, and
both self-referrals and referrals from teaching staff and school nurses were
accepted. While not designed exclusively for parents with teenage children, it
was, apparently, well used by them. The issues brought were often around
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parental separation, teenage behaviour or bullying in school, and while most
of them were relatively minor and amenable to early intervention, they could
include more serious matters requiring onward referral. Its reported
popularity suggested that it was favoured by parents and/or their children,
though one barrier to its use was its provision by a mental health service,
which had negative connotations for some parents and their children. One of
the purposes of the drop-in was, in fact, to prevent non-serious cases clogging
up the mainstream mental health services.
It’s actually a canny system of keeping referrals out of the main service.
Because if we can deal with more minor problems which do tend to sort of be
more behavioural stuff in areas such as (this), then that keeps our main
waiting list down. (Provider 2)
Helplines
Telephone and Internet helplines are, like one-to-one services, able to deal
with both the generic and the specific and have the added advantage of
offering virtually instant access. Their downside might be the lack of
personal, face-to-face contact but this could also be construed as a positive
aspect, particularly for parents of teenagers who might wish to discuss
children’s illegal activities or matters which they themselves found
embarrassing. Some professionals felt that this form of communication had a
special appeal to fathers, who did not usually access helping agencies, but
that it should not be seen as a substitute for personal contact.
I think parents of teenagers, I think they probably do like the helpline. … I can
see men sitting in front of a computer and this sense of getting support,
anonymous support if you like, through email, through the web. I know
there’s chatrooms and all that but I think the helpline is anonymous, isn’t it.
That’s the great thing about it. You don’t have to turn up at a community
centre and everybody looks at you and says, ’Oh, you’re here.’ They can just
ring somebody up. … I do think that’s a good way for parents of teenagers.
But ultimately the best way is face-to-face contact with a trusted adviser and
somebody who has a heart for people and wants them to do well. (P1.A)
The use of email could appeal to parents who have difficulty articulating their
problems. One respondent pointed out that feedback from their evaluation of
this service indicated that merely spelling out the problem helped some
parents make sense of it and could remove the need for external input.
Tapping into parents’ increasing use of modern technology offers interesting
possibilities for future provision.
7.9
Delivery
Flexibility within interventions was considered to be a critical factor if
parents’ individual needs were to be adequately addressed. Courses operated
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to a specific structure, usually with a manual and/or a series of handouts for
each session, but the degree of flexibility within this structure varied
considerably. One course operated with such fidelity that each session was
rigidly time-controlled and within each session a very specific amount of time
was allocated to each part of it. The provider conceded that this could cause
problems but, nevertheless, thought that parents coped well.
Yes, it’s very, very difficult to manage the time. Very, very difficult, yeah.
You have a lot of standard sort of phrases that you would use. Especially
because the groups are great because the fact that they’re generating most of
the discussion and most of the ideas. It really feels very uncomfortable to sort
of put that to a halt, you know, if they’re sort of mid-flow. … (But) they
understand that. It sort of becomes a running joke at the end of it. You know,
they’ll say, ‘Oh are you just going to tell me to stop in a minute?’ You know,
in a very nice sort of way. But I think they sort of get the gist of it by a couple
of sessions in that it is quite fast-moving. (Provider 2)
Other providers were less constrained by the course requirements and able to
be much less rigid in their approach. They typically began by ascertaining
what parents wanted to gain from the course and then adapting the structure
to ensure that the relevant topics were addressed.
In that manual there are session plans for each session, which you can, you
don’t have to follow to the line, because it's got a quite open session plan. But
there are session plans for each session. And there's also a series of handouts
that could or couldn’t be used with the parents. (Provider 5)
Although we have got a scheme that we need to work to in order for them to
attain accreditation, each group really is slightly different. In the very first
session, I give them all out little Post-It notes and completely anonymously
they’re able to identify what it is they would like to achieve by coming on the
course. Because they all bring different issues potentially. And that’s then,
that then becomes the focus of the course. So they will see their issue, if you
like, at some point during the course. (Provider 3)
All course providers relied on parents’ contributions to provide examples of
situations in which they had found themselves vis-a-vis their teenagers and of
approaches to dealing either with their behaviour or with their own reactions
to it. In this way the course was less didactic and more reflective, which kept
parents involved and acknowledged the skills and expertise which they
already possessed. This was considered important in view of the fact that
many parents of teenagers were experiencing a crisis of confidence in their
ability to bring up their children. A style of delivery which allowed for more
reflection was thought to be particularly suitable in working with parents of
teenagers who, unlike the parents of babies and small children, did have a
considerable body of experience on which to draw. Some parents, however,
preferred more direction, and even if this went against the ethos, providers
would meet that need.
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The way that (we) work with this, … we don't say ‘What you want to be doing
is this’… but sometimes they want to be, I would say they probably want more
directive things. I had one woman who pushed it so long that I just told her
what she should do… and she was happy so I thought ‘Well fine’. (Provider 1)
At the same time as involving parents directly, workers did ensure that
information which would help them was provided. For some providers, a
key part of this was giving them facts about the changing nature of the
teenage brain, which would help parents to understand what was happening
and, therefore, tailor their strategies accordingly.
I think it makes the possibility for change much greater if you understand why
you’re doing it, rather than somebody saying ‘Well, you shouldn’t do it like that,
you should do it like this.’.. But I’ve actually, from when I first did it, it’s
actually more complex information now than it was. … Because people were
just fascinated, as I was when I found it, just fascinated by what was happening
and why it was happening and when it was happening and it explained so many
things. (Provider 3)
7.10 Staff
The desirable qualities of those who work with parents of teenagers were, to a
large extent, considered to be identical to those of workers providing support
for parents of children of any age: warmth, empathy, good communication
skills, a non-judgemental attitude, and, where appropriate, the ability to
manage a group so that everyone was included. Over and above these were
an understanding of the particular difficulties faced by parents of teenagers
and, preferably, workers’ experience of having dealt with similar problems
themselves.
I think for a lot of parents initially if they can, if they can offload, and know
that you’re listening, and know that you understand, it just, it builds so much
trust that everything else comes with it. Everything comes from there really.
(Provider 9)
… parenting programmes are only as good as the facilitator of each one. And I
very much think that the way that you can have a meaningful discussion
about what’s in this family’s best interests at this precise time. Quality, is
that the right word? Experience. I’m not quite sure what I ought, what word
I ought to be using. But it’s very much the rapport you’re able to build up on
a personal basis. (Provider 6)
According to professionals, this rapport could most easily be effected by
workers who ‘have been there and done that’ but still did not claim to have all
the right answers. One worker thought that one of her childless colleagues
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would struggle to run the course which she, according to parents who had
been on it, delivered very effectively. She attributed her success to the
personal experience that she shared with participants and the fact that she
was both unshockable and non-judgemental.
I think the fact that, you know, I’m quite honest about my parenting
experience. I’ve got four children. A son I clung on to by the skin of my teeth.
And I think because, although I’m very careful about the detail that I share, I
think the fact that I’m not standing there saying ‘I’ve done it right and I’ve
got it right’, I think people relate to that …. I think there’s very little that
people can say to me that I haven’t got some experience of. I’m not easily
shocked, and I don’t think you judge. You know, if you’ve been a parent and
you’ve kind of had a bit of experience of that, you don’t perhaps look at it in
the same perspective. (Provider 3)
This was echoed by another course facilitator who was, likewise, the parent of
teenagers, but also had counselling skills and experience of working with
young people which, she felt, were similarly vital tools at her disposal.
Parenting experience was considered desirable not only for those responsible
for running courses but also for those who served as parent volunteers.
Because they are the very people who have experienced what it feels like being,
living with a difficult teenager and hopefully have made different levels of
progress themselves. So they're the very people who can support other parents
with those difficulties. Because they have more empathy and understanding
and they are far more likely to be listened to by the parents in their groups and
respected for their opinions and thoughts than we are. (Provider 5)
Equally important for specialist outreach workers was an understanding and
knowledge of the local people and the communities in which they lived.
Because they know what’s going on in the community, they know what, they
know how to access people. I mean in … the smaller villages … they’re really
hard to reach clients. So to have somebody in that community that knows the
people, that knows how people work, that knows, it’s like the underground, it’s
like the routes isn’t it, it’s, you just wouldn’t access half the people that we can
without that inner knowledge. (Provider 9)
7.11 Location of provision
There was general agreement among professionals that interventions based in
the community were most appropriate to parents’ needs. More of an issue
was exactly where in the community they ought to be located. Several
respondents pointed out that parents wanted services delivered in a venue
with which they were familiar and which was conveniently located. Parents
were unwilling or unable to travel any distance. An apparently splendid
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building in the ‘wrong’ location could lead to the cancellation of an
intervention.
We used the R Centre in X which is a smashing locale. It’s a wonderful place.
A beautiful building with lots of indoor sports facilities and what have you
and it was, I think it cost about £1.4 million... But it’s out of town. … It’s
fine - if you’ve got a car. …This next (course) in X, we’re doing it in a
community centre in what is the centre of town and very much the most
deprived area in X so we’re taking it right to where we think it’s probably
most needed. No transport problems and basically no charge. (P1.B)
The issue with community learning is people won’t travel. I mean they won’t
get off the next bus stop. It is as simple as that. … They really want it where
they drop the children off, or you know at the community centre that they
walk past. They really do want it very, very close to them. (Provider 3)
Schools
Schools generally fitted the bill for parents in terms of proximity, and some
providers considered that, within certain parameters, they were acceptable
locations.
Well, interestingly, they did like schools, because we provided other venues,
and they didn’t use them. … It’s convenient, almost universal, and they get to
hear a bit more, and they know where it is and all that. (P1.D)
Where you’ve got a school that sort of welcomes parents and keeps parents
involved and up to date with newsletters and things like that, there’s always
that that we can tap into. (Provider 3)
I think the schools have very good links you know with parents. So they get
very good attendance in terms of seminars and things like that. But whether
you’d actually be getting the parents that you need to get in the course ...
(Provider 2)
However, schools’ suitability as locations was called into question by their
association with a learning environment which might have negative
associations for parents. This appeared to cast doubt on the future use of
extended schools as appropriate venues for the provision of parenting
support.
There’s a lot of parents who hate going into schools. And that’s partly their
own background. Their own experiences. If their own experiences were
dreadful then it’s the last place to get them to go in. We discussed this very
recently actually about trying to work in schools and how do you overcome
that? … And of course you can’t. (P1.B)
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I think there was a problem with the extended schools model in that some of
the parents who are the most disaffected are least likely to accept services in a
school setting because they’re going to be the ones who hate school and have
had a bad experience of it. So there are worries about that. And actually
secondary school anyway I think, you know, my own experience of trying to
get parents interested in doing anything in a secondary school setting I would
say, kids don’t want you involved and most parents don’t want to go
anywhere near the place. (P1.E)
I think once difficulties have become much more entrenched, or more acute,
and if they’re about illegal activity, then I think schools are quite high risk for
parents, and quite often they won’t go. … We think that extended schools, if
they’re really serious about reaching out to parents, will need to be thinking
about community-based work, that takes its base from the school, but actually
doesn’t happen in the school …. You may hope to get there ultimately, but it’s
difficult for schools because they’ve got other statutory responsibilities, where I
think, you know, if illegal things are happening, it’s genuinely difficult for
them to say ‘Yes, this can be confidential’, and if they’re going to be charged
with penalty notices and all the rest of it, it’s not going to be problem-free for
the school or the parent. (P1.C)
Children’s centres
Some of the issues around locating services in children’s centres are similar to
those applying to schools.
One of the pluses seems to be that people would then know where they have to
go. At the moment it is a bit random. It’s harder for people to find out where
the specific service is that they may need. … Downside is that a lot of people
will be put off that it could be seen as being associated too closely with services
that people have got previous negative experiences of. (Provider 10)
Many families wouldn’t be seen dead walking into a children's centre. …
Because it's got a social services banner across the wall and… that's what it's
seen as. (Provider 5)
But one provider (9) had already worked successfully, by invitation, within a
Sure Start local centre, providing a drop-in facility for parents. The
organisation would be willing to repeat this in a children’s centre but could
not do so out of its current core funding.
Home visiting
In some cases, and especially where parents were not easy to engage in
services, home visiting was perceived to be most appropriate. It was also used
by some providers as an initial step in encouraging parents to take up a
service.
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Another thing that is much more time-consuming but can be so rewarding as
well is the home visits … And then you’ve almost honoured a person by
saying, ‘No, I’m not just saying to you, “Come to me, I’m the expert and I’m
going to give you some advice.”’ … So home visiting is something that is also
very useful. Because in one fell swoop you get to know people a lot better.
(P1.A)
I think for hard to reach, really hard to reach, there’s no way other than going
to their homes. (P1.D)
7.12 Type and source of provision
Universal and targeted services
Respondents were asked to consider the relative merits of services available to
all parents (universal or generic) and those designed to address the needs of
certain groups (targeted or specific). Universal services are generally regarded
as a form of early intervention and are of relatively short duration. Targeted
services characteristically provide intervention of a therapeutic nature once
problems have become more established and may - though not necessarily –
be of a longer duration. Our sample of services included both types.
Interviewees mainly considered that both types of service were needed but
that universal services were better placed to meet the needs of the majority of
parents. They had the advantage of allowing parents to refer themselves and
thus retain autonomy of the process. Crucially, they believed, they were seen
by parents as less disapproving and less critical of their behaviour, and thus
more accessible. Furthermore, they had the advantage of preventing problems
from arising or escalating, thereby reducing the chances of teenage behaviour
becoming a serious issue.
Universal (services), available to all, will reduce stigma; and preventative
(services) are needed to reduce the need for targeted services and therapy.
(Frontline 5)
Universal. Parents need to identify the need for help themselves and they are
capable of doing this. Services need to be accessible and parents respected.
(Strategic 4)
Targeted services, however, were also required to address more entrenched
problems and to provide support to parents experiencing specific difficulties
which needed specialist help.
Therapeutic and targeted but not traditional medical psychotherapy but
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something that provides alternatives to bleak lives. (Stakeholder 9)
While professionals believed both types of intervention were needed, they felt
that prominence should be given to universal, preventative services,
especially as they had the capacity to reduce the need for more intensive and
intrusive intervention at a later date.
Different people need different services. No one size fits all. Self-help is effective
if it is structured and supported, as is formal parent training. (Strategic 10)
It’s a bit like the chicken and egg question. Parents who are alerted to problems
are those most likely to attend, so any service that is able to highlight this, be it
universal or targeted, preventative or treatment is beneficial. However the
emphasis must be on prevention. (Strategic 8)
Voluntary and statutory sector provision
A further question to interviewees was whether they thought that parents
preferred services to be provided by the voluntary or the statutory sector.
Very few thought that it mattered to clients, though this depended on their
level of need and on whether the service was perceived as trustworthy.
Whether it’s the voluntary or statutory sector doesn’t seem to be important.
What matters is that the organisation is known and trusted. (P1.F)
I think it depends on their level of despair. When they reach utter despair they
don’t give a monkey’s, as long as they get something. Generally though, they
prefer voluntary because it’s perceived to be less stigmatising, less judgemental,
more confidential, and safer. (P1.C)
One major difficulty with statutory agencies, highlighted by some
respondents, was the high threshold for referrals which effectively barred
many parents from receiving their services.
My experience is that they may seek help, they probably won’t get it when they
seek it. The reality is they’ll only get it when something happens. … And I
don’t mean that they wouldn’t get any kind of advice but they would probably
get a very minimal bit of advice, close the case… I mean certainly looking at case
files, and again it’s all very impressionistic, very small-scale, but you know I
could, every single case that had gone to have statutory intervention, you know,
core assessment or whatever, had had several referrals, seeking advice and
nothing happening prior to some event happening - a child’s non-attendance at
school became critical or they’d got involved with criminal behaviour. (P1.E)
It’s also our experience that those parents who have been given Parenting
Orders, all the ones we’ve ever worked with have been asking for help for years
and years and years. We’ve never worked with a parent that’s been offered
anything before.…. They also, parents also, when they’re really desperate, when
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they lose all dignity and stigma, when they’re really desperate, they’ll go
anywhere and ask for anything, but what they then try and do is wrap up the
problem in a way they think an agency might hear. … So they will present to
Social Services, ‘You’ve got to take this child into care… I’m dangerous to them,
I’m going to harm them.’ And social workers are quite astute at interpreting
that actually this parent isn’t a danger to their children … Because of their
tight funding, and therefore eligibility criteria, they’re not therefore at risk, so
the response is no. (P1.C)
Other providers, including those from the statutory sector, pointed to the
potentially adverse reaction from parents who did become engaged with
statutory services and might be required to undertake a parenting course.
…the parent who goes with their child to a Referral Panel because the child has
got a Referral Order. And the panellist will say, ‘We really would like you to
accept some help.’ And they might be quite resentful of that. (Provider 6,
statutory service)
Yes, that has been a problem because parents have been coerced into doing it.
Almost, not as a bribe, but you know, ‘If you do this parenting course you’re
showing you’re willing to, you know, you’re showing us that… ‘ It’s almost
like a bargaining tool. And it’s those parents that don’t turn up. Or they’ll turn
up for one and won’t come back. (Provider 2, statutory service)
I have a lot of parents that come to the groups who have various inputs from
social services. And what they like about the groups is … they don’t feel that
there’s any other agenda. You know sometimes they can become quite defensive
and if they’ve had a very negative experience of social services then that might
be carried through. …Whereas I don’t have that, I don’t have any of that. I’m
seen as being completely neutral. (Provider 3, community-based service
with statutory funding)
Some professionals considered that the restrictions and outcome-focused
targets imposed on the statutory sector did not necessarily fit well with the
ethos of providing client-led support to parents in need.
I think the heart works from the voluntary sector whereas statutory is more,
you know, like we said before, hard outcomes, you know, ‘You don’t get your
money if you can’t produce this, this, this, and this’, and I guess you’re more
led by somebody in the statutory sector. For example, … the PCT have got
very hard and fast rules of what you can and what you can’t do. … I think
we’re very lucky as a service because we’ve got the both, we’ve got the
statutory side but we’ve also got the voluntary side, so if we can’t meet
something in this box, we can do it with this one. Which, it feels sometimes
you’re bending the rules a little bit but if it gets you the outcome for that client
that you need, then… (Provider 9)
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Although more advantages in voluntary sector than statutory sector provision
could be articulated, it was clear that this was not an ‘all or nothing’ scenario.
There appeared to be a place for both kinds of provision, with the ideal being
co-operative working between the two sectors.
Both. … I think statutory sector has got to have responsibility for making sure
that the need is met, but that voluntary organisations are able to react more
quickly, be more responsive, be more alert to stuff. (Provider 10)
… we each have got a part to play really. I think we each have got a role in
providing services. And I think if you work together in the way that we work,
when we work together and provide a service, you’ve got far more skills.
(Provider 5)
7.13 Working with other agencies
Respondents who were able to take advantage of joint working in the manner
described above, considered it beneficial to both users and providers.
It’s really good to have someone from another background there because she
can help with a lot of the schooling issues that we wouldn’t be so experienced
in. And we can deal with more the clinical ones. So that can be really
beneficial. (Provider 2)
So the workshop is one of the main interventions that we use. It’s a multiagency one. So there are always four facilitators (predominantly from the
statutory sector). … All the different agencies have joined in that. … Very
often … we have a family group meeting and we might invite social care and
health, or you know, another key person to that. So yes, all the time we’re
working with different agencies. (Provider 6)
One service manager pointed to the organisation’s good links with the local
social services department, with whom they had been working for many
years. These good links seemed largely attributable to their policy of always
presenting social services in a positive light, encouraging users to see it as an
enabling rather than a judgemental agency.
One provider was appreciative of the non-financial help from one of their
funders from the statutory sector which was viewed as being highly
instrumental in supporting their operation. This included access to specialist
training and recognition of ‘our need to actually be a bit more flexible about how
we provide the service and stuff.’ (Provider 10).
But another provider who extolled the virtues of inter-agency working,
nevertheless found that unless a service level agreement specified the amount
of input from other agencies, the situation in terms of provision could be very
difficult.
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The… service level agreement that we have… All that says in it is that as a
centre and with the agencies that we work with, we will produce nine groups
per year. But it doesn’t say how. So it doesn’t have in it ‘and therefore we will
give you so many staff to do this job.’. And I think in retrospect, looking back,
we could have done with a service level agreement which (laid out) who was
going to produce the staff, at a very clear level, a strategic level right from the
very outset of the project. Because what we tend to do now is scratch around
all the time to find people to do it. And then (statutory) agencies will say, ‘We
can't release our staff because they have too much work to do’. …(I’m) ringing
up and begging managers to release their staff. (Provider 5)
For one worker there were difficulties in finding suitable, like-minded
partners with whom to engage in joint bids for funding. However, for many
other service providers, attempting to work co-operatively with statutory
agencies such as social services, CAMHS and education was merely a source
of frustration. One service manager described how, having accepted an
invitation from a social services team leader to talk to her team about his
service, he had then heard nothing more and sadly concluded after a few
months that ‘maybe they’re too busy to really kind of remember those things.’
(Provider 4)
One of the issues stated was the reluctance of CAMHS to accept referrals for
families in crisis, because of their high entry threshold, or to place them on an
overly long waiting list during which time the problems intensified. On the
other hand, the disinclination of statutory agencies to make referrals to
community-based interventions, both generic and specialist, was an equal
source of irritation to providers of such services.
Another area we’ve identified is that schools and other agencies are quite often
dealing with or meeting with parents where, if you like, entry to drugs and
substance misuse stuff is arising. And they’re clearly not identifying us as
services for those parents. (Provider 10)
The short-sightedness of this approach was clear to providers who believed
that the model of early intervention which they offered could, in many cases,
avoid statutory agencies picking up more serious problems at a later date.
I think there is a point at which other organisations and other agencies could
think outside the box a little bit. … Well somebody like me couldn’t meet those
very, very specialist needs later down the track. .. But I could have done
earlier on. And it’s this linking, it’s this multi-agency approach. (Provider 3)
Another described how some schools could be totally resistant to offers of
joint working, to the extent that it might take three years to convince them of
the mutual benefits. Alternatively, education-based interventions which
occurred at the same time as parents were accessing help, could be
detrimental to the success of the parenting intervention.
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I think there is always a slight - difficulty probably would be a bit too… I’m
not quite sure what word I should be using there, with the Education. In that
they might have an agenda for taking the young person to court for nonattendance. We might be quite happy with that. But there again it might be
coming in at the same time as we’re trying to do some really good family
reconnecting work. So that can be a problem, yes. (Provider 6)
However, for some workers, the lack of direct connection with statutory
services worked to the benefit of their clients who, despite being in crisis,
would still not wish to be associated with public sector mental health or social
services. One voluntary sector provider was seemingly ambivalent about
whether the statutory sector was an appropriate bedfellow for the voluntary
sector.
We are doing a lot more work recently with the local authority, trying to
highlight our position as well as what we could do for them. But I think the
other side of that is that the separation is actually quite important. The fact
that we are a voluntary service, the fact the we have a very discreet kind of
front to our building, that parents can come here without being on records
that they may be concerned about. You know, people who have a high profile.
And it is that thing about being in the voluntary sector that it is quite nice,
that you can have this kind of separateness. (Provider 4)
7.14 Barriers to seeking help
Lack of knowledge
Respondents considered that a major reason why parents did not access
parenting support was that they did not know what it consisted of or where it
was to be found. While conscious of the fact that things were going badly,
they might not be able to articulate the nature of an intervention which would
help them with the difficulties they were facing.
You know, parents do not happily turn up at the school gate and say ‘I would
like to do a course on setting boundaries with my teenager.’ (P1.C)
As we have already noted, providers themselves appreciated that the effect of
their advertising was often limited and that, unless they had received a
referral or a personal recommendation, parents did not always know where to
go for help. But even if they did, other obstacles presented themselves.
Shame, stigma, fear and failure
Every professional in our sample referred to shame, stigma and fear of being
judged as the main reasons why parents of teenagers did not access help. To
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some extent, these feelings stemmed from ingrained cultural factors, but were
exacerbated by the nature of this particular problem.
For as long as there is a stigma in this culture about seeking help of any form,
which there is, then seeking help about something as private and intimate as
your parenting, is even more difficult. (P1.C)
While these were, to an extent, hurdles to be overcome by most parents,
irrespective of the age of their children, they were raised to a higher level for
parents of teenagers. The proliferation of books, magazines and services
aimed at parents of babies and young children meant that these parents found
it increasingly acceptable to ask for information, advice and support on how
to bring up their children. They have been increasingly reassured that they
were not expected to know what to do. This was far from true for parents of
teenagers, however. Though services such as Connexions might be available
to provide advice and information to young people, there was nothing similar
for their parents. Sources of written information were scarce. Parents of
teenagers inferred that they should know how to bring up a child who had
been living in the family for 12 or 13 years. The realisation that they did not,
heaped self-induced shame upon them. This alone could prevent them from
seeking help.
Yeah, and then there’s also a sense of shame isn’t it? I mean that’s the one big
thing that’s stopping people from going on a course. You feel ashamed that
your family has got issues and problems and you’re in a vicious circle and you
feel ashamed about the stigma of asking for help. (P1.A)
(It’s) something to do with the length of time: ‘I've got to this age, I've been
parenting for twelve years, therefore I must know how to do it. If I haven't got
the hang of it now it's a problem’, rather than recognising, as you do right at
the beginning (of child-rearing) that this is a different stage. (Provider 1)
The matter was made worse by the fact that, though parents were now
encouraged to seek support, this was against a backdrop of criticism and
blame on those who did not control their children. A sense of failure was
then added to the fear of judgement.
If the Criminal Justice System becomes involved or there are concerns about
behaviour or, you know, options for parenting classes, they’re more likely to feel
a sense of failure, once the child is sort of past 12, than when they’re babies.
(P1.D)
Parents have a great deal of concern about being criticised and told off. The
issues around parenting orders haven’t helped. I know they can sometimes work
but there are all the issues about failure, criticisms and imprisonment. They
need to know that genuine support is out there and that parenting support is a
partnership (with them) and not a professional telling you off. (P1.F)
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Previous experience
For parents who had past contact with statutory services, either in respect of
themselves or their children, the situation was far worse because it was based
on reality, not probability. This made the task of finding a suitable way to
help such parents very difficult for one voluntary sector worker.
(Parents who’ve) had a lot of difficult relationships with services like social
services and mental health services. That it just kind of, you know, it gets
very, well it’s hard to actually find a thread, hard to find one thing that you
can actually do here in the time you’ve got, because they’ve got so much and
such a history of confusion and difficulty that, you know, … it’s hard to make
sense of it.… I think parents have been very, well quite disturbed, angry and
as if they find it very hard to take anything in. … My memory is that while
there may be things that teenagers are doing, it’s more about perhaps how the
parent may feel labelled and judged by the services. … And that gets very
difficult, because, you know, I don’t want to be joining with the parent against
services, at the same time not wanting to join with services against the parent.
(Provider 4)
It was, therefore, not surprising if parents fought shy of asking for help unless
the situation had reached an intolerable level.
I should think things have to go pretty much wrong before a parent would go
anywhere. (P1.D)
No family will walk through a door that says ‘Failure.’ (P1.A)
Media reporting
Adverse publicity in the media meant that some parents were much more
likely to feel labelled as actual or potential failures than others, particularly
those who were able to equip themselves with enough knowledge to realise
that they might benefit from more.
I don't know whether it's a class thing again, ‘cos it tends to be more sort of
middle-class are not so worried about the stigma and they read everything and
they, you know, some of these woman who come on the course, I think ‘Do you
want to take over ‘cos you know more than I do.’ You know, kind of thing.
But, so I think it's probably lower class actually, that would be less likely to
come and ... might feel more stigmatised. (Provider 1)
Timing
Timing of an intervention could be another barrier to parental involvement.
The advantage of helplines and web-based information was their availability
at the point when parents wanted help – which was any time. Courses were
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provided at specific times, very often based on providers’ own research into
what appeared to suit parents.
And the most successful time is when it’s ten till 12. And they’ve found that
over a couple of years of running lots of groups. Afternoon ones don’t get a
very good take-up at all. (Provider 2)
A popular time appeared to be during school hours but this then precluded
the attendance of parents in employment. This was a particular issue around
fathers’ involvement, though it was not clear from our interviews with
professionals whether timing was the main barrier to fathers’ take-up of
courses.
Link to education
Some of the parenting courses among our case studies were accredited by the
Open College Network (OCN). For some providers this was a distinct
advantage because it allowed parents to access help without the emotional
baggage: courses were just another form of learning, and they saw this as the
way forward in overcoming barriers to parental involvement. According to
one worker, some BME groups in particular appreciated opportunities for
learning and were keen to attend education-based parenting interventions.
While some parents might be attracted to the idea of gaining a qualification,
nevertheless their previous unsatisfactory experiences of learning might deter
them from taking the first step back into education. Alongside this is the fact
that, for many parents of teenagers, their formal learning ended some years
ago and they had no wish to resume it. Providers were generally aware of
this problem from their own experiences and attempted, where possible, to
ease parents’ pathways back into education. Home visiting prior to the
course, discussed above, was often an effective method of providing parents
with reassurance that the experience would not be akin to their past
experiences of education.
The first course I went to was a school course and I know how scary that was
for me. … You don’t, you never forget. And then when I went to college to do
the college course, I mean I think I went back to my car four times (before
going in). (Provider 3)
When I did my first parenting course, to me that was a slow route back into
adult education. Whereas before, I loved these adverts around adult education
and gremlins where you’ve got this guy and he’s walking through the door
and the gremlin’s there and he’s saying, ‘Oh don’t go there, it’s terrible,
everyone will laugh at you,’ and all that. And I think 99 out of 100 adults
would be like that. So a parenting course could be a step, a small step into,
back into, ‘Actually it’s not that scary. I’ve been on this parenting course. I
did all right. I didn’t look stupid. And I can maybe do something else.’
(P1.A)
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Some workers thought that the focus on education acted as a deterrent to
parents, because it required a relatively long-term commitment (eight or ten
weeks) which many parents could not easily undertake. In one case, low
take-up led to the course being shortened.
Although the programme is eight modules, it was designed for eight modules
and designed for 22 hours, can you believe. Which is actually what, four days,
or eight evenings. We have found from our experience that parents … won’t
commit to eight evenings. (P1.B)
However, our interviews with parents indicated that in some cases they
would have liked more sessions than were provided (See Chapter 8). The
issue might be more related to the fact that parents did not feel able to commit
themselves in advance to a lengthy course but would continue attending if it
were offered as an ongoing programme which initially required only shortterm commitment.
… parents who are, if you like, the neediest, living in more chaotic
circumstances, and with a view that they have failed at school, are hugely
unlikely to sign up for fourteen weeks, it’s just too big a commitment.
However, what we have discovered, which is an operational nightmare, but if
you agree with the venue that you will have a rolling programme that lasts
fourteen weeks, and they don’t have to sign up for fourteen weeks, they will
turn up for fourteen weeks, on the trot. (P1.C)
7.15 Future provision
Overcoming reluctance to seek help
The view of professionals was that the proliferation of television programmes
on parents and parenting had been instrumental in overcoming some parents’
reluctance to ask for help. They served to reassure parents that their own
problems were not as great as those of some other parents, to instigate a
culture that seeking help did not bring disapproval, and to reduce the fear of
being judged.
You know lots of parents, and I think I’ll probably put myself in the same
bracket, you’ve this sort of expectation, and if you’re not quite meeting this,
what’s considered to be this expectation, you’re doing something wrong and
somebody’s going to judge you… But I think those sort of television programs,
they took away all of that…. Suddenly, with them on the television and people
watching them, there was a sense, initially there was a sense of, ‘Mine aren’t as
bad as that, you know.’ …‘I’m not such a terrible mother,’ sort of thing. And,
well, an acceptance that it was okay… And ‘I can do that.’ (Provider 3)
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But not all were equally acceptable or appropriate in the eyes of the
professionals. Advocating the use of programmes that had no evidence base
was seen as irresponsible. And simply offering strategies for dealing with
behaviour, without exploring background issues or providing any
understanding of why children behave as they did, was perceived as selling
parents short.
You get these silly programmes like ‘Brat Camp’ and things like that. (P1.E)
You see, they’re not evidence-based, they’re good TV, entertainment. But
they’re not evidence-based. Whereas we would recommend things like ‘Little
Angels’, ‘Driving Mum and Dad Mad’, because they are, you know, from a
sound theoretical knowledge base. (Provider 2)
… that terrible Super Nanny. … I think she should be taken out and shot at
dawn. It was the most horrendous, horrendous thing. … (Why?) I think she’s
very negative. I think she’s got one strategy that she expects to fit all children,
there’s this naughty spot, or naughty stair or naughty step. Tanya Byron I love,
I think she’s very positive, she’s very enthusiastic. You know. Her strategies are
based on an understanding of child development. It’s a totally different attitude.
(Provider 3)
Involving teenagers
The vast majority of the case study services did not involve teenagers in the
intervention provided for parents (though in some cases they did have a
separate service for young people). One provider preferred to work with both
parents and teenagers together and viewed them as equal partners in any
agreements that were reached.
That’s how I prefer to work. Obviously some initial work with the parent
separately. But then I would engage the teenager in the work. If we’re doing,
contracting or drawing up a simple contract between them then I always
insist that the teenager has got the right to ask the parent to do something
different. In the same way as the parent has got the right to ask the teenager to
do something. (Provider 6)
Another was willing to see teenagers at the same time as their parents but
found that they very seldom came along to sessions. One especially flexible
and client-led service supporting parents with specific problems about their
children would see the child if the parent requested, even though it was not
strictly within their remit to do so. But others felt that the services
(particularly courses) they were offering had been designed with parents, not
their children, in mind and that teenagers could not be effectively included.
However, there were occasions when, they thought, working with parents
and teenagers together could be very useful.
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You couldn’t, you know, essentially it’s a parenting programme. And that
would introduce like a completely different dynamic, I think, into the group if
there were children there. But … a lot of the homework involves the children.
(Provider 2)
It wouldn’t work for (this service). But it could work if you were working with
the family, in mediation or, you know, in that kind of way. (Provider 5)
One suggested way forward was to run parallel courses for parents and their
teenagers, bringing the two sets of participants together at strategic points.
One worker felt that this would be a helpful way of giving teenagers
information about their parents which might facilitate the relationship
between them.
You need to try and give the teens, bearing in mind all the stuff that’s going on
for them, an understanding of their parents and perhaps why this happens
sometimes. Why their parents behave like this sometimes. And why it’s been
inconsistent sometimes. (Provider 3)
Providing more funding
More services
Increased service provision was cited as essential if parents of teenagers were
to receive the support they both wanted and needed. The fundamental
requirement to achieve this was more money. Professionals were in total
agreement that access to funding would enable them to see, listen to or
provide courses for a greater number of parents than was currently possible.
It can only be making it more available shall we say. You know if I had more
trainers and more capacity, shall we say, we could put it on in different
locations. So you know there could be a means to make it happen, either sort of
locally, or regionally if you like. So we could put in a bid for some funding to
cover the expenses and so on. (P1.B)
More funding would also mean widening provision by providing services
that could work in, for example, health settings, and thereby extend the
parenting agenda beyond education and into health.
I was thinking about utilising GPs surgeries these days. … Because there’s no
doubt if you get parenting right, the health issues, not just for parents, but
more particularly for teenagers, have a much greater chance of being reduced,
haven’t they? (P1.B)
It would also mean that services could be taken to the literally hard-to-reach
parents living in rural and isolated areas who were currently ill-served.
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Consistent and accessible provision
Over and above that, there was a stated need for provision to be consistent
and set within a national framework that stressed the importance of the
teenage years in the development of children and young people. Accessibility
for parents was also considered important, and, in particular, that cost should
not prevent parents from accessing help. Providers were unsure whether
offering free services made them appear less valuable to recipients, but it is
clear from our interviews with professionals that many parents who might
benefit from services would be unable to pay the full - or in some cases any –
cost for them.
More qualified workers
Workforce expansion was the inevitable corollary of greater service provision
and this was something that professionals stated they would like to see. But
two issues arose here. The first is that more workers meant more adequately
qualified and trained workers and this did not necessarily match the current
ethos.
Currently they appear to be downgrading the skills required to work with
parents. They are not promoting clinical skills amongst professionals working
with parents. Many of those working with parents are not professionally trained
and do not have the experience to cope with the ‘hair-raising’ experiences of
parents. (Strategic 4)
The second was that more male workers should be recruited as they were
seen as part of the solution to engaging more fathers, especially in parenting
courses.
My bugbear is that there are so many women working in parenting education.
And maybe that’s something again the Government can be aware of. If a whole
ream of work is purely and mostly done by women then it will affect the
outcome. And you will get more disengagement from men. (P1.A)
Attracting fathers is key. I know this is difficult, but we saw how well the
newsletter format worked for them. One of the services in the school-based
project was parenting groups for fathers only, with a male worker and the
fathers valued that (the male worker)… It’s not always the case that the male
worker is important but it was for that. (P1.F)
Making messages clear
The first message that would assist in moving parenting support forward was
around what, exactly, it should be expected to achieve. While professionals
generally were not against target-setting, and some specifically favoured it as
a means of demonstrating that objectives had been achieved, targets
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nevertheless needed to be realistic and tied to what parenting support was
supposed to be about.
So I really do worry about you know, the kind of rubbishing of projects that
have only been able to demonstrate that the people who have been involved in
them have actually found them very helpful. I mean, I think especially with
supporting parents of teenagers. I’m not so sure that you would actually
expect very much more than that as a good outcome. ... But actually the
Government would probably want to measure in terms of, did the teenager get
a job, stop offending and get five A to Cs. (P1.E)
The second message concerned consistency. Professionals, on the whole,
thought it was very perplexing for parents who were struggling to establish
boundaries for their teenage offspring which were acceptable to the
community, only to find that Government boundaries shifted according to the
type of parent they were perceived to be. This could lead to parents feeling
‘out of synch’ and further confused about what they were supposed to be
doing.
The most inconsistent message, and bewildering for parents and providers
alike, was whether parents of teenagers should be helped or castigated.
Because of parenting orders, some parents confuse parenting support with
criticism and punishment and the basic premise is problematic if you want to
promote parenting support, but there’s this idea of failure and punishment
around. We need more information from the Government that they genuinely
want to support parents, not criticise them. (P1.F)
For many professionals, the punitive approach to dealing with parents of
teenagers was simply not appropriate.
What they (parents) don’t need, which you may be about to ask me, but I’ll tell
you anyway. They don’t need to be punished, they don’t need to be
stigmatised, they don’t need to be blamed, they don’t need to be fined. (P1.C)
7.16 Key messages from interviews with professionals
A number of key messages emerge from our interviews with professionals
involved in this study. One of the most important is that there is an obvious
demand for support from the parents of teenagers. The reasons why parents
want help are, mainly, two-fold. Firstly, their child is reaching a specific stage
in his/her life, such as the transition into or out of secondary school, which is
recognised as stressful for both him/her and for the parents. In this case the
timing of the trigger is well-known and the resulting gun-shot can be
anticipated. Secondly, parents are experiencing problems either with their
teenager’s behaviour or attitude, or with their own lack of confidence and
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inability to cope. The associated triggers can, to some extent, be anticipated in
that many parents appear to feel generally disenfranchised when dealing with
teenage children, but they can also be totally unanticipated, when, for
example, they are occasioned by the teenager’s misuse of drugs or alcohol or
their engagement in criminal or sub-criminal activities.
Support for parents should be available before their children enter the teenage
years and remain available until they exit them. Professionals believed that
providing parents with information about bringing up a teenager before they
became one was more effective than waiting until later. This was not only
about pre-empting problems but also about reaching parents while their
children were still in primary schools, an easier task than reaching parents of
secondary-school-age children.
The reasons why parents do not seek help revolve predominantly around
their sense of shame and failure at having been a parent for so long and now
being unable to deal with their children. The stigma attached to help-seeking,
common in our culture and not only among parents, is magnified by their
own perception that they ought not to be asking for help at this late stage in
their parenting career. It is also magnified by current Government initiatives
designed to help parents of unruly, disruptive and truanting teenagers which
are typically interpreted as critical and punitive.
A reason why parents often do not receive help is that provision is currently
very sparse.
Well, it’s scary, because we have only got fourteen local offices … but we are
by far and away the biggest provider of parenting skills services. But I think
that’s worrying, because that means that there’s bugger all out there. (P1.C)
However, providing more services does not mean blanket coverage of the
same intervention. Professionals were clear that parents’ needs could only be
met by the provision of different types of support that covered a wide range
of factors and addressed the varying reasons why parents looked for or were
offered help. In particular, thinking only in terms of parenting courses was
too narrow. Professionals considered that parents benefited from receiving
help in different, and often multiple, ways and that mothers and fathers had
different preferences for accessing help. These might include not only formal
courses but also informal support groups, one-to-one support, telephone and
Internet helplines, information on leaflets and on the web, and newsletters.
Help, in whichever form, should be available to address the whole spectrum
of need, from prevention and early intervention to avoid problems escalating,
to intensive support for more entrenched problems. However, supply should
be focused at the lower end of the continuum: professionals believed that
many adolescent problems could be avoided or minimised by providing
parents with information, skills and strategies at an early stage in their
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children’s teenage development. Nevertheless, where problems were deeprooted, intensive, individual and tailored support was needed.
On the whole, providers believed that services for parents of teenagers should
be delivered by the voluntary sector as this was perceived as less threatening
and less judgemental than the statutory sector. This did not preclude delivery,
or possibly supervision, by statutory services. An ideal scenario would be
joint working between the two sectors where complementary skills and
knowledge could be utilised.
Greater co-operation between agencies could lead to an increase in referrals
and more awareness among parents of the existence of support interventions.
Parents often do not know where to access help, and advertising has only
limited success. Word-of-mouth and personal recommendations appear to be
the most effective in bringing parents to sources of help.
Services should be accessible to parents. This means that they should be
located in places where parents felt comfortable, preferably within the
community, near to home, but not in schools or children’s centres which had
negative associations for many parents. They should be open at times which
suit parents of teenagers - during school hours and in the evenings (to meet
the needs of mothers and fathers in employment). Staff should have
experience of working and/or living with young people, and an
understanding of the difficulties faced by parents of teenagers.
Professionals believed that what was most helpful to parents in terms of
content was a mix of: basic information (on drugs and sex education, for
example); an explanation of why teenagers behave as they do (brain
development); strategies for dealing with teenage behaviour; and, where
personal contact was an aspect of delivery, space to discuss specific problems.
Parents of teenagers from black and minority ethnic groups are not generally
well served. Many of their problems are identical to those of white parents,
though added difficulties arise when their religious or cultural beliefs clash
with the value systems and behaviour of their teenagers’ white peers. BME
parents should, predominantly, be accommodated within mainstream
provision by ensuring that staff are suitably trained and sensitive to relevant
cultural and religious factors.
The view of professionals was that fathers preferred to access parenting
support through helplines and the written word, but they would attend
individual sessions when parenting hit a crisis. They did not readily attend
courses, but imaginative methods, such as making the intervention activitybased, could attract them. This could be the way forward if fathers’
involvement in parenting is considered important for policy and practice.
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Chapter Eight: The perceptions of parents
Box 8.1 Summary of findings from the in-depth interviews with parents
This chapter summarises the findings from the in-depth interviews
conducted with 14 parents who attended one of the ten case study
services. It should be kept in mind that this is a very small sample, and
thus no generalisable conclusions can be made. However, a number of
noteworthy themes were identified:
• Parents of teenagers seek support and advice on a wide range of
issues, based upon their personal circumstances and their families’
specific needs.
• Parents with younger teenagers (under the age of 15) are more
likely to make use of generically focused support, whereas parents
with older teenagers are more likely to want help that is tailored to
their individual needs and problems.
• The parents participating in this study wanted and benefited from
preventative services. Nine of the 14 families either accessed
support for preventative reasons or wished that these services had
been available when their child was younger.
• Some parents who sought advice had done so routinely throughout
their child’s development.
• Parents seek and benefit from dispensing, relating and reflecting
support.
• Parents also value the opportunity to share their problems with other
parents and understand that ‘they are not alone.’
• Parents also report improved confidence after attending generically
focused training workshops.
• Parents’ satisfaction with a particular service is directly related to the
extent to which it meets their needs.
• Fathers are less likely to attend services unless there is a more
serious or urgent problem.
• Parents resent and avoid provision that they believe is stigmatising
or blaming.
• More support is required for teenagers who struggle in school.
• Intense problems require intense interventions. In particular,
problems involving academic failure (especially ADHD), substance
abuse or juvenile delinquency are likely to require interventions that
include multiple components, are offered over a long period of time,
and address a range of family problems.
8.1
Introduction
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As explained in the methodology section, the ten organisations selected for
our case studies reflect a mix of targeted and universally available services
offered by voluntary and statutory organisations across the country. Each
one of these services was asked to provide the names of two parents who
were willing to participate in the in-depth interviews. Five services
successfully recruited two parents to take part in the interviews, but in four
instances, only one parent was able to participate within the time frame
established for the study. One service was not able to provide the names of
any willing parent, thus resulting in a final total of 14 parents who
participated in the in-depth interviews. Mothers participated in all of the
interviews, and in three instances, the father was also present.
The interviews were based on a semi-structured framework and considered
parents’ general satisfaction with the service, its accessibility (including cost),
what parents learned and the degree to which it met their expectations. When
relevant, parents were also asked why they accessed the service in the first
place, whether they attended it with their partner, and whether or not they
would recommend it to other parents. In addition, parents were asked to
comment on what they liked the most and least about the service, what
aspects of it were the most helpful and the extent to which the course
influenced their parenting behaviour and their relationship with their child.
Findings from the interviews suggest that parents accessed the services for a
variety of reasons which generally fell into one of two categories: 1) those
who were seeking general information and advice about how to parent
effectively (i.e. generic support) and 2) those that were looking for help for a
more specific, and quite often urgent, problem. With only two exceptions,
those who wanted general advice attended generically focused training
classes and those who were dealing with more problematic issues (such as
delinquent behaviour or substance abuse) attended services that provided
more targeted support. For this reason, the interview findings will be
summarised separately in terms of those who attended generic and those who
attended targeted services.
8.2
Generic services
Service characteristics
Four of the services sampled offered generic advice to parents in the form of
parenting workshops and seven of the parents participating in the interviews
had recently enrolled in one of these courses. All four of the courses took
place during the day and were predominantly attended by mothers, although
fathers and grandfathers occasionally visited. Interestingly, in several cases
parents remarked that service providers (other than the course facilitator) also
attended the course, so that they, too, could improve their understanding of
the needs of parents and teenagers. Four of the parents participating in the
interviews attended the training course with a friend.
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The parents learned about the courses through a variety of means. Three of
the parents said that they saw the course advertised on a leaflet and three
others heard about it from a professional (an employee of CAMHS or a link
worker). A seventh parent found out about the course through her
daughter’s school.
All four of the courses were offered in a community based setting (a parish
centre or school) and parents appeared to be generally satisfied with this,
although there was the occasional complaint about parking or the venue’s
atmosphere (i.e. lighting, temperature). Friday mornings appeared to be a
popular time for the workshops and all were between two and three hours in
length. One course consisted of three sessions that were provided on a
weekly basis, another offered five sessions with telephone support and two
consisted of ten sessions. Only one of the courses charged a fee (£45), but all
of the participants said that they would have been willing to pay somewhere
between £40 and £60 for the course. In fact, one mother who attended a free
course remarked that:
If I could pay the woman who runs the course ten times what's she's paid, she's
worth it. Because it was such a life changing course for me. It was fantastic! I
couldn't sort of recommend it to enough people. (Parent 3b)3
Although it was clear that a majority of the participants were currently in
some kind of employment, it was evident that this work was not full-time,
and their time on the course would have otherwise been spent on activities
such as gardening, shopping or housework.
The participants’ descriptions suggest that all of the courses offered a mixture
of advice and support that included some time for general discussion, some
role play, video-taped presentations and homework. However, the courses
varied in terms of their formality, which was largely determined by how the
facilitator managed the sessions. All of the parents were positive about their
course facilitator and especially appreciated it if the individual appeared
sensitive and supportive.
As I say, she had a very easy manner and she was obviously very experienced at
running these courses. So she could hold the group together through difficult
moments. … And get people talking. (Parent 1a)
In fact, one parent who was initially reluctant to come to the training changed
her mind once she met the facilitators.
Well . . . the first time I went I was absolutely nervous and I just thought ‘Oh
my God, what have I let myself in for?’ . . . And I can just, I picture myself, you
3
The coding (e.g. Parent 3b) allows the reader to link the parent to the service by referring back to Table 2.1, where the service
type is identified with the numbers 1 – 10. Thus, Parent 3 is a user of service 3. The letters a and b are used when more than one
parent from a service participated in the interviews.
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know like when you get the hot sweats, you go all clammy and you’re just really
nervous, knots and everything in your stomach. And I walked in, welcome with
a cup of tea. And it was just, the atmosphere was friendly. And the people who
were doing the group, they were really nice. And they never once told you what
to do. They offered advice and you got a lot of advice from the parents, which
was really valuable. And it was just, it was just totally different, calming
atmosphere. (Parent 5)
Parents also mentioned that they valued the opportunity to discuss their
problems individually with the facilitator when this was offered to them.
[The facilitator was] such a lovely, lovely lady. I mean she gave us sort of
contact numbers for her for college and whatever. If we'd got any problems she
was willing to stay at the end of the group. Or we could see her before the group
if there was anything… You know, if we had a particular issue that we needed
some sort of help with. (Parent 3b)
In addition, the parents especially appreciated it if the facilitator was also a
parent of teenagers. As one parent put it:
I just thought [the fact that she’s a parent herself] is really good because it’s not
like ‘I know it all, it’s all obvious, what are you lot of failures doing in this
room, this is so easy.’ It’s like ‘this is tough and I struggled with my son and I
still struggle with my son but let’s learn this together, this is what we have to
do.’ (Parent 3a)
Another remarked:
You know, if you had a spinster there you would sort of feel a little bit [like]…
‘What do they know?’ (Parent 1a)
However, in the one instance where the course was facilitated by individuals
who did not have children, the parent said that this did not diminish their
credibility, since they were professionally trained psychologists and she
trusted their advice.
Why parents attended the course
For the most part, the parents who enrolled in the course were looking for
general support in managing a teenager. For five out of the seven
participants, this teenager was also their firstborn child. In three cases, the
parents remarked that they had previously attended courses in parenting. In
fact, one parent commented that she had been on numerous parenting
courses:
I mean I’ve done parenting courses since I’ve been a parent . . . All the way
through because I’ve always felt very vulnerable in that area of my life and I’ve
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done lots and lots of parenting courses and I did one … I suppose it must be 18
months ago now . . . (Parent 3a)
Another felt that in general, courses were a good use of her time:
And first of all, me . . . everywhere there is training, even if it is for the parents
or something else, I have to just go, when I have time. I see that I have no
appointment, my children are at school. . Maybe I will get someone to look for
me, or there is a place, they will take a crèche for me, they are going to pay. I’ll
just take it. (Parent 7)
However, it was also clear that all of these parents were concerned about
improving their relationship with their teenager. For example, one parent
was hoping to end the arguments with her daughter:
Just home life and the constant clashes that I was having with my daughter. . .
Yeah. I mean everything was a battle. And I thought well anything that can
help me, in sort of making our family life better. I was willing to try. (Parent
3b)
Two others felt that they needed help setting limits for their teenage son and a
fourth wanted new techniques for managing her daughter’s angry outbursts.
In two instances, however, the parents attended because they were having
serious problems with their child. In one case, a fifteen year-old daughter was
beating her mother and playing truant from school. Initially, this mother did
not feel that it was necessary for her to attend the course, since she believed
that the problems were largely the fault of her daughter and her ex-partner.
So they said by the time it went to court, she’d probably [have] left school
anyway. And then they’re saying ’Oh, go on this parent group.’ And I thought
‘Well, I ain’t that bad a parent.’ Me son, who’s like just under three years
younger, he’s a star. He was really good. And they’re telling me I’ve got to go
to school, as I thought it was, and be taught how to become a parent. I mean I
got it wrong, but…(Parent 5)
Another mother attended the course because she was specifically seeking
advice on how to manage the difficult behaviour of her thirteen year-old son
who had been recently diagnosed with ADHD. Her contact at CAMHS
believed that the course would be useful, particularly because it was
facilitated by psychologists. Unfortunately, in this instance, the parent was
not able to find the support she needed, since the course material did not
provide strategies for some of the more extreme behaviour ADHD children
exhibit.
Let’s say if a child misbehaves, [you] take something off them, which is natural
you do, you punish them. [But] you can’t always do that with a child with
ADHD. You know if [my son] does something wrong and I’ll ground him, you
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know, he’s stuck in these four walls, which makes his ADHD worse. So there’s
quite a stark difference I think, doing it with a normal well-adjusted teenager
and a child that had got behavioural problems. (Parent 2)
It is important to note that in both of these cases the parents had sought help
on previous occasions and did not receive it. They were not necessarily
seeking support by way of a parenting group – both mothers remarked that
they had asked for advice from a statutory agency when the child was
younger.
I’d been involved with social services anyway because of the violence towards me
. . . but I didn’t get no joy. And they didn’t even say ‘Well there’s places where
you can go.’ (Parent 5)
Yes but as I say there is nothing there. You basically you go... if you’ve got a
teenager that has behavioural problems you go to your GP. ... Get to fill in a
CAMHS questionnaire--and that’s the parent and the school--and then they
make the diagnosis based on what they say. But basically then you just get this
diagnosis on a piece of paper, but very little help. (Parent 2)
Unfortunately, neither of these families received any kind of support until
their child was in the court system, despite the fact that they had previously
asked for it.
What parents learned from the service
All of the parents remarked that their participation in the course provided
them with valuable information and strategies that improved their parenting
skills and enhanced their relationship with their children. Many of the
strategies learned reflected the principles of good parenting outlined in the
literature review, such as autonomy granting, setting limits and managing
conflict. For example, five of the parents remarked that the course provided
them with strategies to de-escalate arguments.
We used to have a shouty house . . . [ but then I found out] you agree an
acceptable volume. You imagine, you know, like a volume control on a stereo,
and everybody agrees on a certain acceptable level. And then when voices are
raised above that level. You just sort of say to them calmly, ‘What level are you
at? And where should we be?’ And the kids have said it to me. ‘What level are
you at?’ . . .And it has made such a difference. It's brilliant. I mean I'm not
saying I don't still shout, because obviously I do . . . (Parent 3b)
It was my attitude that changed, to be fair. Because I [used to think] ‘Well, I
ain’t having her screaming and shouting at me. I’ll scream and shout back.’
And then I went to a session one week, and they said ‘The more you argue, the
more they’re gonna argue back. Because they’re getting all the attention.’ . . . So
then I started being like the same and I used to say ‘No’ and I used to mean ‘No’
I mean, it was hard, don’t get me wrong. It’s not as easy as it sounds when
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you’re sitting there saying it. But it, I mean it must have took weeks and
probably months .. . (Parent 5).
I’ve learnt a few strategies to calm myself down or just stop and think about it
from [my daughter’s] point of view a bit more. The other thing that changes is I
treat her with much more respect rather than as a child, . . . trying to sort of
gauge where she’s child, where she’s adult and finding that middle path there. . .
she seems to behaviour much better if she feels like she’s gaining some respect
from me. Then she respects me more. So it was worth that risk (laughs). You
know, things pay off. (Parent 3a)
As the above statement suggests, this mother also learned the importance of
granting autonomy and creating an atmosphere of mutual respect between
herself and her daughter. Another parent remarked that she learned
strategies for setting limits with her son.
[I’ve learned to be] a little bit stronger with him. I suppose in some ways with
[my son] I have sort of let him get away with things in the past a little bit. You
know but being a bit stronger and... I think learning you to speak to your child
in a different way. Instead of telling them off all the time. Are you doing this...
To be more positive with the child rather than negative. I think I learnt that out
of it. (Parent 2)
Another parent remarked that she learned some important things about
herself.
[I’ve learned a lot] about myself. And you think maybe I was being… Maybe I
was being slightly more unrealistic before I went. [I learned] to focus on less of
the detail. (Parent 1a)
Dispensing support
Throughout the interviews, it was clear that all of the parents gained various
kinds of advice and information that fell within the dispensing, relating and
reflecting categories identified by Miller and Sambell (2002) first described in
Chapter Six. In fact, all seven of the parent participants were able to give at
least one example of dispensing advice (i.e. a practical strategy) that they
eventually put into practice. Certainly, the conflict management strategies
described above fell within this category, as did information regarding
teenage safety, the division of household chores and substance abuse. One
parent was particularly impressed with the drugs advisor who spoke with her
group.
That was a real eye opener! I mean, working in a school we have these drugs
awareness days and whatever. But to see these people and they gave us little
packets... I mean, obviously, it wasn't sort of drugs. And they were saying, you
know, ‘What do you think this is? What do you think that is?’ And we were,
"Phew!" It was so flabbergasting to realise that, you know, you know absolutely
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nothing. Really. In real sort of day-to-day terms. You could sort of pick up this
and say well it might be dried herbs from my kitchen. You know. It might not.
I don't know. (Parent 3b)
Another parent remarked that dispensing advice, in the form of strategies,
was the primary reason she attended the course. In fact, this parent had
already attended several parenting courses, and remarked that she sometimes
resented the therapeutic approach that facilitators of other courses took.
One of the things that always frustrates us, I mean it’s been very helpful, don’t
get me wrong, but one of the things that always frustrates us is … that we just
want something to go away and try rather than just … unpack it all the time.
So … with, you know, it’s often in counselling situations you know, that that, I
mean counselling is different isn’t it? So you are trying to understand and
unpack it and paint different scenarios and do role playing and stuff, whereas
actually, what I was looking for on that course, which is your question, was
more sort of ‘try this’ . . . Real strategies, something to try, something a bit
more directive, is that the right word? A bit more directive . . . give me
something to try, something that maybe I haven’t tried before or a different way
to try it. (Parent 3a)
Reflecting support
During the in-depth interviews, parents also provided examples of reflecting
advice – in other words, material that provided them with the theory as well
as the strategy. For example, one course had a session that included
information about the neurological changes that take place within the teenage
brain. While both mothers attending this course found this information to be
helpful, one was particularly enthusiastic:
We went through sort of how teenage brains are rewired. . . . It just makes so
much sense! It explains so much of my family life. I thought, God, why has
nobody ever told me this? . . . Once I could understand sort of what was going
on, it was just like sort of looking at sort of the whole thing from a different
view. I could sort of take the step back and not sort of just… Phew! Go
steaming in and saying, ‘Blah, blah, blah’. Because I could see that she was
doing this because that was happening. (Parent 3b)
During the interviews, it was clear that the courses also provided information
about the different approaches to parenting (i.e. the authoritative,
authoritarian and permissive approaches) and how these styles influence
teenage behaviour. For example, one mother described how this helped her
reflect upon why some of her strategies had previously been ineffective.
Seeing where my parenting style … could be making matters worse. So there
was that sort of … connecting going on there. So I would try different ways of
being a parent with her and see how that helped. That sort of thing, quite a lot
changed really, and it’s still changed, I haven’t reverted. (Parent 3a)
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Relating support
During the interviews, all of the parents remarked that they particularly liked
the ‘relating’ support they received during the workshops – in other words,
that extra piece of assurance that they were doing the right thing. As one
mother put it:
Well it was reassuring [to know] that I actually wasn’t doing such a bad job. I
know that sounds really horrid, but… And I think, you know, obviously I’ve
only just started on this teenage thing. And I’m sure, you know, [my son’s]
only just thirteen and got a long way to go. You know, it is in my subconscious,
you know, and I think it will help. (Parent 1b)
A second parent remarked:
I think it helped us in a different sort of way actually, that’s what I’m, what am
I trying to say? I think it helped [that] they were desperately trying to
encourage us that we were ok really . . . and I was sitting there … screaming
out in my head ‘But you should’ve seen the argument we had yesterday. What
do I do? How do I handle this?’ You know, so in some ways it was, it was
helpful because there was a word of encouragement coming my way, which is
always helpful . . . (Parent 3a)
A third talked about the sense of pride she experienced when she was able to
offer helpful advice to another parent:
It was like a revelation. And she went on, ‘I’m just looking at it completely from
the wrong way’. So I thought really… I felt really good. Go me! (Parent 1a)
In this instance, it was evident that this mother’s insecurities stemmed from
experiences in her past related to the way she, herself, had been parented.
I was still hanging on to things the way my mother had done things. And [the
course] actually [gave] me permission to do things in a different way. And not
to feel too bad about things as well. (Parent 1a)
A fourth mother described how participation in the course helped her
confront insecurities related to the fact that her daughter was growing up and
moving away from her. In the beginning of the interview, this mother said
that this was one of her primary reasons for taking the course:
I was scared of losing my relationship with [my daughter] and where that would
go as the years went on. And I didn’t want that. (Parent 3a)
However, as the interview continued, it was clear that the strategies learned
in the course helped this mother confront and manage her fears.
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What [the facilitator] said was is to ask yourself the question as to why you're
saying no. Are your reasons for saying no justified reasons for saying no, or is it
just your fears that you're saying no to. She says,... If your reasons for saying
no aren't just your, you know, fears, then maybe you are justified to say no. But
if it is then just sort of this might happen and that might happen . . . and
something else might happen--then maybe your reason for saying no isn't
justified, and that you should let them go. (Parent 3b)
In fact, it was clear that most of the mothers’ confidence in their parenting
improved as a result of attending the course.
Yeah. I mean I think listening to other people’s problems made me realise how
lucky I am. You know, so it was almost better from that point view. And there
was also the confidence that I felt, yes, I’m… You know, I’m not doing a bad
job. I mean, obviously, we have conflicts, but on the whole fairly… fairly good.
(Parent 1b)
My confidence changed. 'Cos I just… the dog walked all over me. Everybody
in the house just walked over me, I just took, and done everything they wanted
to do. You know, even the dog wouldn’t listen. And then I just… I think it
helped as well because I thought ‘I ain’t on my own.’ I went to this group, and I
thought ‘Yeah, I’m not the only one. There must be loads of parents out there
exactly the same as me.’ And then I just thought ‘So why take all the crap?
Why not just say no? Why not just put rules back into place?’ (Parent 5)
What parents liked best about the service
At the end of the interviews, parents were asked to describe what parts of the
course they liked the best and in which ways it was helpful. For four of the
parents, their favourite aspect of the course was the opportunity to share their
experiences with other parents with the understanding that they were not
alone. As one mother put it:
It gave you a little boost at the time when you were doing the lesson because you
were in with other people in the same situation so you didn’t feel so alone.
(Parent 2)
Another remarked:
I suppose it was just a forum to talk about your problems really. Because I could
have gone and looked things up in books and stuff myself. I think it was that
sort of supportive listening from other parents and gaining ideas from them.
(Parent 1a)
Another liked the fact that she could be honest about her family situation and
not feel judged:
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I liked [the facilitator’s] honesty. And the fact that you could go and you could
say, ‘Oh God! You know, home’s been absolute hell this week!’ You could just
go warts and all and say and not be judged. It was so nice. And to have
somebody who would say, ‘Oh well. You know. Try this or…’ (Parent 3b)
Two others particularly valued the new strategies and perspectives that they
learned:
I felt like I, each week I came home with a new thought … that helped me relate
to [my daughter] better. … And that’s precious. (Parent 3a)
The best thing was, the best thing was how you are going to act with your
children or talk to your children. (Parent 7)
What parents liked least about the service
Parents also were asked to comment on what they disliked about their course.
One parent remarked that she disliked nothing and thought it should not be
changed. Four other parents said that the only problem with the course was
that it was not long enough.
I just felt at the time it should have been longer. I suppose, 'cos things, like were
beginning to change and things were starting to, I got some good bits in life and
then I suppose I thought ‘Well is it gonna go bad again 'cos I’m not coming
here?’ (Parent 5)
In fact, two of the parents said that they felt that it would have been helpful if
there had been a ‘booster’ or follow-up session a number of weeks after the
course had ended to ensure that they had not forgotten anything.
Well, I suppose, if I'm really honest, it was that it was too short. You almost felt
that you could have done with a meeting - a sort of see how you're going after it
had finished. . . it's the sort of thing that you forget and you don't put it into
practice. (Parent 1a)
Two of the parents, however, had specific dislikes. The first of these had a
child who was recently diagnosed with ADHD and felt that the course did not
address her needs and concerns.
Whilst I was doing the course, because you do it with two psychologists anyway
. . . They knew... Well they obviously know how bad children are with ADHD.
But you know . . . how can you help me with my child if he does this? There’s
none of that. (Parent 2)
In another instance, the mother felt that the course was, at times, overly
judgemental of parents in general.
It was very much the emphasis on the parent’s problem. If there was gonna be a
problem, it was really the parent’s problem. … Not the child’s problem. And
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that slightly annoyed me, because I think when they’re little you could possibly
say it is the parent’s problem. But I think when they’re . . . they’re bigger and
teenagers, I don’t think you can blame every single problem on a parent.
Because I feel that… You know, there’s other influences on a teenager. Be it
schools, peer group, you’ve got music. And I did feel that [the facilitator] was
very, very much of the school that actually it’s your problem, but… I don’t
think you can be held account for… for everything a teenager does. And I think
there’s far too much about blaming on parents for the total lot …(Parent 1b)
In fact, many of the parents were concerned that participation in these
parenting courses might be viewed negatively by some.
I think as kids get older, you get more embarrassed talking about their problems
really. Well, somehow because they seem to reflect more on you, than young
kids do. And I don’t know whether that’s my perception. But I think there’s
more of a diffidence really. (Parent 1a)
It almost seems in some respects when they’re sending [you] on parenting
courses they’re blaming you for the child’s behaviour. (Parent 2)
I thought I was going to be judged, because I’d been judged by social services
and they basically told me to get a grip and sort it out on my own. So I
presumed that they would be a bit like social services, they’d tell you what to do
and you’d have to do it, and that was it. And then when I got there, it was
totally the opposite of what I thought. (Parent 5)
In one instance, the mother remarked that her daughter felt her participation
in the course marked her out as a problematic child. In describing how she
found out about the course, the mother remarked:
[My daughter] goes to secondary school in the area and she came back with a
flyer to tell me about [the course]. And … she was very angry when she saw me
reading it, she said ‘I suppose, you know, I’m such a rotten teenager that you’re
gonna have to go on that course to learn how to do it’ and she had a very
negative reaction to it. (Parent 3a)
Another parent remarked how she valued the fact that the facilitator went out
of the way to be non-judgemental.
From the outset of the course [the facilitator] said, ‘I'm not here to judge you, or
your parenting methods.’ She said, ‘Because, you know, each family unit is
different. And what is good for one isn’t necessarily good for another.’ She said,
‘They're your children, you bring them up as you see fit.’ You know. (Parent
3b)
The response of fathers
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As mentioned previously, none of the parents participating in the interviews
for the generic services were fathers, although in one instance, the mother
stated that her husband had attended one session. Parents were not asked
explicitly if they had a partner, but for four of the families, it was clear that the
mothers were married. In these instances, the mothers were asked whether
their husbands would have liked to have attended the course and responses
to this question were mixed. Two of the mothers were clear that their
husbands would not have attended, even if it had been offered in the evening.
No way in a million years would he have gone. He would have seen it as some
kind of happy clappy thing. He’s just not like that at all. … He’d say ‘there’s
not a problem, so why would I face it’. . . he’s much more laid back than me. I
mean the children adore him and everything. He’d have said… He’d have said
‘well look we’re doing fine.’ (Parent 1b)
Well, I certainly made the point that I would like... I’d liked my husband to have
gone but, obviously, the morning... And they've actually set up an evening one.
. . but actually my husband hasn't booked in. Our eighteen-year-old is going off
to university and I think he thinks he's getting older and, you know. . . (Parent
1a)
However, the other two mothers said that their husband might have attended
had the course been held in the evening.
In addition, three of the mothers remarked that what they learned during the
course drew attention to differences in the way in which both partners
parented. As one mother said:
I think the main problem we’ve had is try, trying to make it consistent and, you
know, with, with daddy as well because he’s … it’s very difficult, you know …
we still have issues where I want to try something that [the facilitator]
suggested as a strategy but I haven’t got him on, 100 percent on board ‘cos he
hasn’t heard where it’s come from perhaps. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s
dismissing it, but he hasn’t maybe got hold of it properly. So I, I think that’s,
the main disadvantage is that we didn’t do it together. (Parent 3a)
Prevention
Another theme that arose repeatedly during the interviews was prevention.
In two cases, parents said that they had attended to prevent problems from
occurring in the first place.
I felt that the more information you have, you can pre-empt it. A bit like
childbirth really, the more you know about it, and you haven’t got rigid
decision… You haven’t got rigid ideas to start with. And you can collate all the
information and then you can use it as appropriate really.. . . . Because by the
time there’s a problem, you haven’t actually done anything about it. It’s
probably a major, major problem. (Parent 1a)
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In another instance, the parent remarked that she wished that such a course
had been available when her child was younger.
I think it’s the sort of course, to be honest myself, if I can look back now with
me, that if you’re coming up to the age of a child that’s seven or eight and
starting to present behaviour difficulties, I think when you go to your doctor’s
you should be put forward to that so you can put the routines in place at a
younger age to be honest. I think it’s very hard. But a teenager becomes sort of
set in their own ways by the age of twelve, thirteen and it can be very difficult to
break their routines. I think it needs to be done a lot earlier. (Parent 2)
In fact, two parents felt so strongly about the importance of prevention, that
they felt that a course for parenting teenagers should be offered to all parents
before their children became teenagers.
It might be good to have a course aimed at primary school to take into primary
schools. … For an evening session on, you know, preparing for teenage. Don’t
put [like]… there’s a problem, but you know, and make it you know an
information[session] where you give information out about courses, and just
give a complete overview of the things that would be covered. And how
interesting it is! (Parent 1b)
And I will add, I think every parent should do something like this. I think it
should be done before you even, your kids hit teenagers. It should be a process
that, the Government they’ve got money for loads and loads of different crap.
Why can’t they put it into this, and just say to parents ‘When your kids start
school, have a place… whatever, say two months. Just come on it for two
months and just do, do it, and then just…’ ‘Cos you’ll learn stuff that you never
even knew existed. (Parent 5)
‘Courses’ for horses
Despite the high degree of praise parents had for these generically focused
classes, it was clear in a number of instances that these course did not fit the
needs of all parents, particularly in cases where there was a more serious
problem. This was especially true in the case of the mother who had attended
in the hope of obtaining help for her son with ADHD. In this case, it
appeared as though her involvement in the workshop created even more
stress for her as she came to understand that it was not meeting her needs:
There’s no help for me either, a parent under that amount of stress. When I
think of what I’ve been through this year and I’ve come through it. This last five
weeks I’ve had a lot of migraines. I felt like I was going to have a breakdown. But
if I go to my GP all they offer me is antidepressants, which if I can’t cope with
him in my normal state how am I going to cope with him if I’m doped up on
antidepressants? So there’s no one there for parents either. (Parent 2)
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Although the other mothers who participated in the interviews did not have
such serious problems, two of them remarked that their workshop had
attracted a few families for whom it was not working:
There was one lady who just didn’t turn up afterwards. And she had the most,
oh, awful son. And it… I felt awful the whole weekend when I’d seen her.
Because she had such an issue with her children. And her children were so
awful to her. I felt anything I had was just, or could have possibly had was
nothing. Compared to what she’s got. But maybe it was the wrong course for
her. (Parent 1b)
I think there was a mistake at the first meeting. There was a lady there with her
son who was a school refuser. And who was actually quite uninhibited. And
quite abusive to his mother while we were there. And it was quite a challenge
for the group leader actually. Because she obviously realised that somehow
they’d got there... Well, he shouldn't really have been there. And then the whole
situation was a bit embarrassing for people. And actually they left early. . .
(Parent 1a).4
Summary of findings from generic service interviews
The findings from these interviews suggest that, for the most part, parents
were satisfied with the support they received from their parenting courses.
Five of the seven parents were looking either to prevent problems within their
family or to reduce moderate to low levels of family conflict. The parents’
responses suggest that the courses were particularly successful in meeting
their needs and it was also clear that the advice they received provided them
with greater confidence and a sense of improved efficacy.
In one instance, however, a mother came with much more serious problems.
In this case, her daughter was physically abusive towards her, was playing
truant from school, and was previously involved with the youth court system.
Fortunately in this instance, the parenting course was extremely effective in
meeting this mother’s needs. As the mother stated:
I don’t really think I knew what I was gonna get out of it. And I didn’t think I’d
get what I did get out of it. I just thought ‘Yeah, gets me out the house for two
hours a week. I ain’t got no crap from the kids.’ And I’d just sit, have a cup of
tea, and do whatever. And to think it’s changed me, completely changed me as a
person, I just never thought I’d get that, ever. (Parent 5)
Unfortunately, however, it appeared that for the mother with the teenager
who had ADHD, the parenting course was not sufficient. In this situation, the
family’s needs were much more urgent and the generic advice the mother
received did not address the specific problems she and her son were
experiencing. In this case, it is highly likely that the family would have
4
Although both of these parents attended the same course, it was held at different times of the year, so it is not possible that they
are both referring to the same family.
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benefited from some more targeted support that provided specific advice on
managing the child’s disability. The following section considers in greater
depth the ways in which targeted services attempt to meet the needs of
families with more serious problems, including those with teenagers who
have learning problems.
8.3
Targeted Services
Service characteristics and participants
Five of the services investigated in this study offered free, targeted support to
families coping with specific problems. The kinds of targeted services
sampled, and the extent to which they were represented in the parent
interviews, are as follows:
• Two services provided support to families who had a member (not
necessarily a teenager) who was abusing drugs. One of these services
provided the contact details of two parents who were not currently
using the service, but had relied on their support at a previous time in
their child’s development. The second service refused to provide the
details of families, since they felt that this breached their confidentiality
agreements.
• One YOT team provided the contact details of two families who were
currently receiving support from them.
• One counselling service provided the contact details of two families
who had recently used their service.
• One group-based service that provided advice on sex and sexuality
gave the contact details of one parent participant. However, the child
of this parent was only four years old, so the findings from this
interview were not used in this study.
As a result, the findings reported are based on six interviews. Three of these
interviews involved the mother only—those receiving YOT support and one
mother who used the substance abuse service. Both the father and mother
participated in the other three interviews – two of these couples were referred
by the counselling service and the other had utilised the substance abuse
service several years previously.
All of the parents using these services (with the exception of the father who
attended the sexuality course) sought support for a very serious problem. In
two of the cases, the teenager had attempted suicide and was engaging in selfharming behaviour. In two other cases, the parent had at least one child who
was addicted to heroin. The two families receiving support from the YOT
team had a child who had recently been in contact with the police.
Since the reasons for seeking assistance were so serious and so specific, the
structure and types of support offered by the targeted services sampled in this
study varied considerably. For these reasons, the following sections will first
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summarise the findings from the in-depth interviews in terms of each service
separately, and then identify several key themes that they hold in common.
Counselling Support
Accessing services
The service sampled for this study provided one-to-one counselling to parents
who were concerned about their relationship with their teenage child. This
support was initially provided in the form of six appointments with the
parents only, where parents worked with a trained professional to discuss
their feelings and explore strategies for dealing with their child’s difficult
behaviour. Parents also had the option of receiving additional counselling if
it was deemed necessary, and one-to-one therapy was available for the
teenager, if he or she wanted it. It was clear during the interviews that both
couples had received ongoing counselling for ten weeks or longer, but that
this support did not include individual work with the teenager.
The counselling service sampled for this study was flexible in that it offered
appointments in the evening and during the day. In addition, this service was
not affiliated to any of the local health agencies, although it took referrals
from them. One of the parents remarked that this made her feel more
comfortable about using the service.
But the other thing is . . .there was absolutely no sense that you were in some
sort of health environment. I think that that actually was quite important. I
think the fact that it’s out of a health environment, had nothing to do with the
health service or anything like that, and as I say I don’t even know who they are,
God knows where I got the name from and everything . . .But I think that is
actually quite important. (Parent 4a)
This service also took referrals from parents themselves and this was, in fact,
how the parents who participated in the interviews got in touch with the
counselling service. In both cases, the parents contacted the service because
of mounting pressures related to a long term difficulty with their teenager.
As one mother explained,
I mean, there were lots of little triggers along the way. I mean, she, she tried to
commit suicide and, that’s probably it, you know, it was a cry for help . . . So I
was finding myself driving down to [where she lives] . . . I’d get a phone at three
o’clock in the morning, you know, ‘I’ve just taken pills and I’m in the hospital.’
(Parent 4a)
In this instance, the parents were also concerned that their daughter might not
respond adequately to therapy on her own.
It felt safer as well, because I think people don’t take it into account if you’ve got
somebody who’s quite delicate mentally, that you don’t always want to put
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them, as I said, into the vulnerable position of being analysed themselves. And I
think we felt safer to actually be the ones… (Parent 4a)
The parents went on to report that they chose this service because it offered
support to themselves without requiring participation from their child.
I have a friend who’s a social worker, and she said to me ‘You know that one of
the best things is for parents, if parents are having problems with a kid, . . . is
for the parents to go and talk to somebody on their own.’ And that was the first
person that had ever said that to me. . . And that kind of triggered something in
us where we kind of thought, ‘Well hang on a moment, yeah. If we could get
somebody to help us deal with how we deal with her, that would make, perhaps
would make sense.’ And it wasn’t something we’d ever considered before.
(Parent 4a)
The second couple attended this service for similar reasons. Their son had
also attempted suicide and they were looking for support in managing his
volatile behaviour.
There were a number of incidents. Around about Christmas he… said he'd
taken an overdose and we took him [to the hospital] and they said he probably
hadn't. They kept him in. And then he saw a social worker who said ‘Do you
know he's been cutting himself?’ So things began to escalate a bit. And he,
there was a big bust up at home. He ran off and the police were involved in
tracking down where he was . . . [so it was] becoming incredibly difficult to
manage him. (Parent 4b)
Interestingly, in both of the cases it was clear during the interview that the
teenager in question had struggled for most of his or her life with a serious
learning disability.
It’s very complex because in a sense her dyslexia is so bad and we just had a
report . . . which revealed just how bad. Her organisation skills are absolutely
the pits. So it means her short-term memory is very, very bad. So that meant
that she became very reliant on the home environment for making sure that she
ever got anywhere on time, she can’t, she still can’t read a map. . . . And also
the fact that she had had such a problem at school and that she’d failed
continuously. Despite having got through her GCSEs . . . it’s like she managed
to survive and get through stuff but on a certain level she constantly felt she
was failing. (Parent 4a)
[Our son] has . . . become more and more and more difficult. He was sort of
diagnosed as ADHD, whatever that means. He's been in mainstream school,
but it's been difficult. And he has been under the child and adolescent mental
health service, [lists a number of agencies and their use of them over a long
period of time].. So there's a history of . . . [and] the last year, when he was
doing his GCSEs, it became difficult and he became increasingly difficult .. .
(Parent 4b)
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Content of the service
On intake, the parents reported that they were asked to complete a form that
consisted of 50 or 60 questions. From this, a family profile was produced and
this provided the initial framework for the counselling. As the counselling
progressed, the parents were gently guided to reflect on their past histories
and the decisions they had made in response to their child.
[Our parent advisor] talked a lot about our own childhoods, which meant that
we could actually start to define a little bit what made our attitude, where our
attitudes were coming from. Not in a kind of sickly way, but just kind of just
awareness. And he also sometimes said really quiet things. Like one thing that
really stuck in my head very early on was, we were saying that [our daughter]
wasn’t living at home. And then we kind of half said ‘Oh God, don’t think you
know, don’t think it’s a good idea for [our daughter] to live at home, you know?’
And he just very quietly said ‘Why?’ And it was like that really stuck in my
head. Because actually, I don’t think I said it to you at the time, but . . . I
actually do think he was kind of going ‘Maybe that’s what she needs. She needs
to come back home.’ But he never said it. But he gave us the means to reconsider
how we were strategising, so we could make other possibilities possible in a way.
(Parent 4a)
In this instance, it was clear that the parents did not mind having to discuss
their current problems in light of their past experiences. As was mentioned
in the previous section, parents seeking generic support sometimes minded if
the course required them to ‘unpack’ their situation in any kind of therapeutic
way. The second family receiving counselling support also remarked that
they valued the opportunity to ‘work things through.’
And I think, from my point of view, the greatest benefit was that he just sort of
very quietly said the things he said. His approach was to let us work through . .
. in that he reinforced the importance of boundaries and that each family works
out what their family rules are as such. And presumably if some of them you
thought were unreasonable, you'd have said so. (Parent 4b)
Both of these couples remarked that the non-judgemental approach of the
parent advisor made it easier for them to accept therapy as a means for
confronting the problems they were facing. As the above parent elaborated:
I suppose what I would have, what I would have felt, it’s this kinda, what I
suppose my fears were that we would feel judged, and I never really felt that. I
mean I felt there were times when, well sometimes I felt judged, but it was kind
of, but I think [our parent advisor] was very clever to always sort of, kind of like
go ‘I don’t really think what you’re doing there is a very good thing’, but at the
same time, kind of like always make you feel that all, you know, as a whole, you
know, you were doing your best and to empower you really. So in that way it
was very good. (Parent 4a)
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What parents learned from the service
A common theme for both of the above cases was the parents’ role in
supporting a teenager who was in the process of assuming the responsibilities
of an adult. Both couples described how the counsellor helped them work
through this.
He did actually talk about the power that parents can have and use. And he did
talk about her needing to take responsibilities as an adult. He did sort of analyse
the situation as he heard it. (Parent 4a)
They are, you know, certainly until he's 18, . . . in this in between stage of 16,
17-- is a bit difficult. 'Cos he's got as it were ‘Rights’ as he says. He's got his
rights. And we have some responsibility still. So that, we've made it very clear
that we honour our responsibilities, but the responsibility about funding him is
only insofar as he is in full time education. (Parent 4b)
Through these discussions, the couples remarked that they gained greater
confidence and clarity about how to set limits with their child.
To kind of go ‘No’ to somebody in that state is tough, you know. We really had
to learn tough love. (Parent 4a)
I don't know that we'd have been able to be as clear with [our son] if we hadn’t
had the support . . . , We really did feel that we were more confident about what
we should do and putting very firm boundaries around him as a result of being
here. (Parent 4b)
What parents found most helpful
Although the situation with their child had not yet been entirely rectified,
both couples remarked that the service not only gave them greater confidence,
but also provided them with peace of mind.
To have the problems and conflict are actually perfectly natural and that there
are ways of dealing with these things and actually in a way bring, making
yourself hear your own voice again, so you can actually listen to your own voice
of reason and caring and so on. (Parent 4a)
Well it rescued us, I don’t know, I mean, you know, I’m really seriously not
sure that we’d be sitting round the kitchen table feeling the way we do now.
(Parent 4b)
Throughout these interviews, it was clear that the parents not only valued the
strategies they developed through the counselling service, but they also
appreciated having gained a new perspective. When asked what they
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disliked about the service, one family said nothing and the other stated ‘Oh, I
don’t know. . . I suppose the carpet.’ (Parent 1a)
Substance abuse
Accessing services
The substance abuse service sampled for this study offered an array of
support to families with a member who was addicted to drugs or alcohol.
This support included:
• a telephone helpline that family members could access at all times of
the day and the better part of the night
• group support facilitated by an individual who has had a similar
experience
• one-to-one support in families’ homes,
• prison work – aimed at improving communication between families
with a drug abuser who is incarcerated
• relaxation therapies, such as Reiki and Indian Head massage, to help
reduce stress.
In both cases, the families participating in the interviews accessed this service
when they discovered that their teenager (or teenagers, as was the case in one
family) was/were addicted to heroin. One mother found out about the
service from her sister-in-law and the other through her GP’s surgery. The
parents in both families were devastated at finding out about their teenager’s
addiction:
Despair, if you like. I mean it’s not being theatrical. It’s the truth, because you
can’t… You can’t get your head around it can you? And then you think… Then
you read more things. Obviously, you’re more aware of what’s happening. Then
you start… I mean I rang all around the country for rehabs. You know, thinking
‘Oh, he’ll go in there. He’ll be alright’. But it’s not the case, because it’s got to be
when they’re ready. Mentally, and like some people have got to be in the gutter .
. . (Parent 9a)
I wanted to end my life initially and ran into a hospital in Lincoln and they kept
me there for a week before moving me to relations. (Parent 9b)
Content of the service
In the early days, both families made heavy use of the telephone helpline.
One mother said that she used it continuously, making calls that would last
over an hour and a half. The other asserted that she would call at all times of
the day and night, and estimated that she had spent over 24 hours receiving
telephone support. Both families also found the one-to-one sessions in their
home to be beneficial. The group sessions also gave participants the
opportunity to share their feelings with others and provided a forum for
disseminating useful information as well.
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They did give me [books and information]… But they don’t force them on you. I
think it’s at the stage you’re at, whether you can take all this information in.
About what Johnny did here and there. You know. And what happens and where
they inject and stuff like that. But they did give me quite a few books if I wanted
them. (Parent 9a)
The parents also remarked that they made use of the Reiki and Indian Head
massage. In one case, it was clear that the service provided the family with
additional support and advice during the time their son was in prison. This
support proved to be a critical part of his recovery process. Also, during the
interviews, it was evident that the families valued the fact that this support
came from someone who had personally experienced the agony created by a
loved one suffering from an addiction. In the words of one mother, ‘a person
who has been through this terrible trauma… You know, you just listen to them.’
(Parent 9a)
What parents learned from the service
In both cases, it was clear that a primary objective of the service was to help
the parents detach themselves from their child’s problem. As one mother put
it, ‘I learned to say no. The heroin problem is theirs not mine. I changed my attitude’.
(Parent 9b) The other mother stated:
I was getting more information on how a drug person would act. You know.
And so then I knew more what to look for in my son, you see. So then he
couldn’t… Well, he did con me for quite a few years, but he did… I began to
realise what they were saying to me at [the service] made me stronger to like deal
with the situation. Because… then I knew all the angles . . . So that support
from [the service] eventually enabled me to become stronger and stronger. But it
did take a while. . . (Parent 9a)
What parents liked best about the service
When the parents were asked to describe what they liked best about the
service, they remarked that it was incredibly reassuring to have someone able
to listen and empathise with their problems.
Just that they were there for you. Well 24 hours really. And I know if I was
desperate I could pick the phone up and ring. And there was somebody on the
other end who would know exactly what you’re going through and where. And
what stage you’re at. And, you know, that was the whole thing of somebody
knowing… Somebody who’d been through it. (Parent 9a)
I was at rock bottom. It’s good [the service] was there. I’d probably not be here
now. I was very nervous [and fearful] of being isolated, but the shame has all
gone now. (Parent 9b)
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The parents also valued the non-judgemental approach of the facilitator:
They [the service] were like friends in a way. You come to, you know, think they
won’t judge me. You know, they’re not judgmental. Because lots of people are,
aren’t they? Let’s face it. When it comes to drugs. . . . Especially drugs. Yeah.
Alcohol I suppose as well. But they didn’t judge me. I could say what I wanted.
And I knew they wouldn’t think ‘Oh, you know, she’s so, you know, whatever’.
I knew they wouldn’t think that. (Parent 9a)
What parents liked least about the service
When the parents were asked to describe what they liked least about the
service, one mother stated that there was nothing. However, the other mother
remarked that it was sometimes difficult to be as tough with her son as she
wanted to be.
I think sometimes when they tried to move me on a little bit. And me being me
I’m so… Well, I suppose really soft. I suppose sometimes you think ‘Oh no, I
can’t do that. I can’t do that what you’re asking me to do’. You know, like in
terms of don’t give him money. But they were doing it for my benefit really. You
know, they were trying to move me on a little bit further to come to terms with
it. (Parent 9a)
In the end, however, the service gave her the resolve to stay firm with her son,
which ultimately led to his improvement. Once they forced their teenage son
to leave home, he ended up in prison. At this point, he hit his personal ‘rock
bottom’ and was ready to admit his problem with heroin and seek the
support he needed. His parents were then in the position to guide him
through to a full recovery, with the help and advice provided to them by the
service. This support included a referral to a doctor who inserted the implant
that ultimately helped him overcome his addiction.
YOT Support
Accessing services
Two mothers receiving support from a YOT team participated in the in-depth
interviews. This support came as the result of the teenage child’s involvement
with the police. In the first instance, a fourteen year-old with anger
management problems became involved in a physical fight and injured
another youth.
He just gets very angry, yeah and swears . . . but I wouldn’t have got in contact
with them if it wasn’t for the police business. But it wasn’t all to do with him, he
reacted, someone started on him, he reacted and hurt him as well and they had to
go to the police. And then I don’t know how the Youth Offending Team got in
touch really, oh it was to do with anger management yeah. And it just went
from there really. (Parent 6a)
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In the second instance, the child refused to attend school because he was
concerned about his mother’s welfare.
He’d shut his self in his bedroom and he wouldn’t talk to us and that, cause I
kicked his Dad out, as well, and then of course it just built up from there, he
thought he had to protect me from the whole world, he was a hero. (Parent 6b)
Although the mother had sought help from her son’s school, none was
available until the police came to his home on account of his truancy.
No, it wasn’t ‘til then that it sort of all, they sent the police knocking on the door
one day, and I dragged him down the stairs, I said, ‘Look, if you think you can
get him to school, you try,’ cause he was thumping and kicking me by then, and
the police said, ‘No, that’s it, you need help with this child’, and then everything
sort of moved along quite quickly. (Parent 6b)
Content of the service
Once the YOT teams became involved, the families were offered a mixture of
services that included home visits, telephone support and a day long
workshop. Both the parent and their teenager attended the workshop, where
they participated in a variety of activities that included role play and a series
of games. Both of the parents described this as a positive experience:
Well I didn’t want to go in the first place and I didn’t think he wanted to go but
when we got there it was a really good day. We had like time together, just me
and him and we were like working together, and he really enjoyed it, and it was
a shame there wasn’t any more. It was just a one off. (Parent 6a)
Well you done ones on your own, where they got the parents, and then the
kiddies in another room, but they had to have the door open because [my son]
had like a panic, cause he couldn’t see me, so they opened the door . . . until he
was comfortable . . . Then we done ones together, we had to build a tower, see
who could build the tallest tower. So that . . . we won that. (Parent 6b)
However, one mother was less positive about the telephone and visiting
support she received from the YOT team. In her instance, she did not feel that
the advice she received during the three home visits was adequate for
addressing her son’s difficult temper.
Just if he gets angry he had to write a diary and why does he get angry, and then
she sort of showed him a tape of someone that got in trouble. And then he had to
see a film of what he thought was, who would get in trouble, the person that was
doing it or the other person. And that was that really, but I didn’t see her very
long and she left apparently, and that was that really. (Parent 6a)
What parents learned from the service
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From the parents’ descriptions, it appeared as though they received a mixture
of dispensing and relating support from the YOT workers, similar to that
which the parents attending the generic training services described. One
mother told of how she was offered advice on controlling her own anger and
setting limits with her child.
He [the YOT worker] sort of told me a few things that, just little things like
breathing exercises and another thing he said, like, a child’s like a puppy, you’ve
got to be firm with them, but you’ve got to reward ‘em, which sometimes I forget
to do. Just little things, but taking it all in is like . . . oh God. (Parent 6a)
The second mother talked about the advice she received about improving
communication with her son.
Yeah . . . we talk, if he’s got a problem, now he’ll come back and tell me what’s
going on, and he’ll tell me what’s happening at school and, he tells me more now
than what he did before, before it was, he’d tell me problems, but he wouldn’t tell
me much, but now he tells me more, and that, so yeah. Cause when he was going
through the trouble it’s like a shell, there wasn’t a boy there, it was just like
having a shell, but now I’ve got my [son] back. (Parent 6b)
In this instance, it was also clear that she had worked out a strategy with the
YOT team for persuading her child to attend school again on a full time basis,
by giving him a series of choices. This approach was successful in the end, as
her son had already returned to school full-time at the time of the in-depth
interview.
What parents liked best about the service
When asked what they liked best about the service, both of the mothers
remarked that it felt good to be able to ring someone up and talk to them.
They listened to you . . . I mean I’ve been in tears on the phone to them before
and they don’t seem to rush you, they talk to you. And they say ‘What can you
do?’ And if you want to talk they say just to ring them back again, so that was it
really. (Parent 6a)
In addition, both mothers remarked that they were relieved to find out that
they were not the only parent experiencing problems with their teenager.
You [can] think, ‘Ooh, no, no, there isn’t, there’s no other parent like me’ . . .
[And then you find out the whole world’s there?]. . . Yeah, yeah, it was nice
actually knowing that other people are struggling, exactly the same as you . . .
(Parent 6b)
It sounds awful but I think, I mean some of the kids there and the parents you
could see they were, compared to [my son] . . . he was an angel there and I think
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they knew that we came from, he came from a, well I think he comes from a good
family, whatever. And I think they knew it was, he wasn’t too bad really. He’s
not an awful child. (Parent 6a)
What parents liked least about the service
During the interviews, it was clear that one mother felt that the service did
not adequately address her needs and that there were still open issues
regarding her child, especially when it came to managing his anger.
Because, I’m not very happy because she did come this lady, a lovely lady, she
rung up and she said that she was leaving and she thinks [my son] needs to be, I
don’t know, ‘cos he was quite angry. But then it sort of, nothing happened . . .
I’ve never had no one back about anger again. (Parent 6a)
In the second case, the mother was pleased with the YOT service in general,
but was very disappointed with the support she received from the school –
both during the time her child was not attending and then again, when they
were negotiating his return.
I took him to the school, and one of the teachers . . . spoke to him as though he
was bit of thing on the bottom of your shoe, and that was it, that set him right
back, he wouldn’t go to school after that . . .I felt awful cause they, they were
sort of passing the blame on to me, I felt that it was me that was doing it wrong
and, you know, it was my fault he wasn’t coming to school. (Parent 6b)
In this instance, it was clear that the mother felt that the school was actually a
problem to be overcome, rather than a source of support.
Common experiences
Tough love
Although all three of the targeted services described in this section differed in
terms of the problems they addressed, there were some similarities that
existed across the families that are worth mentioning. First, in all six cases the
teenage child was exhibiting problematic behaviour that carried the risk of
either prison or death. In response to these problems, all of the services
provided support and advice regarding limit-setting. The families who
participated in the counselling and the substance abuse service all remarked
how it was necessary to learn ‘tough love’ and detach themselves from their
child’s problems, while at the same time set limits and enforce consequences.
Three of the parents stated explicitly that this was a difficult lesson to learn,
which required a gentle ‘push’ from their practitioner. It was also clear that
one push was usually not enough. Rather, it was necessary to repeat the
message, either through one-to-one counselling or phone support, before the
parents finally gained the confidence to be firm with their child.
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So it was, I just can't reiterate how helpful it was those months when we had
[our parent advisor] to work through with us. Because I don’t know whether we
would actually have had the courage to be as hard line with him as we were.
And that has certainly paid off. Because, well, he has already at this college had
a couple of difficult situations. (Parent 4b)
An older, more troubled child
A second commonality between the families attending the targeted services
was that they typically had a child who was in their later teens. For this
group, all of the children were over the age of 14, and four were over 17. This
is in stark contrast to the parents who attended the generic services where all
of the teenagers were aged 15 or younger. This suggests that problems often
become more serious as teenagers become older, requiring more targeted and
intensive support. As one mother put it:
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Because I think sometimes the sort of seriousness of the problem escalates rather
than going down. You know, you kind of think they’ll sort of be straightening
out at eighteen and I’m looking around me at some of the answers and they’re
not. (Parent 4a)
Father involvement
Another interesting commonality amongst the users of targeted services was
that fathers were more likely to become involved if the parents were together
as a couple. As mentioned previously, in three of the cases, the father
participated in both the service and the interview. Once again, this is likely to
be related to the severity of the problem. In fact, one father remarked that
initially he was reluctant to attend the service. As he explained it, ‘. . . it’s a
man thing . . . that sort of conservative, traditional kind of reluctance to seek advice
kind of thing’ (Parent 4a). However, as the problems with the child
progressed, it was clear they were negatively impacting upon the couple’s
ability to communicate, and in some cases, threatened their marriage. In this
respect, it was clear that the parents benefited from the service’s ability to
provide couples therapy when it was necessary. One partner described the
process as follows:
[The parent advisor] got down to our perspectives, where [there was] sometimes
a sort of quarrel between us. . . . He saw the two perspectives, he would then
find a way that was a way of helping us see each other’s perspectives – which
would then make it possible to kind of come together in a shared perspective.
(Parent 4a)
Another mother said that the service had, in fact, saved her marriage:
Oh crikey, I really don’t know [what I would have done without this service]. . .
I’d probably have been divorced. . . . Because … I know men and women are
different and they look at things very differently anyway. They handle things
differently. [My husband] and I we were really pulling apart over this. And they
really helped me in that respect of ‘now you’ve got to see it from your husband’s
side as well because he’ll be hurting, but probably can’t speak about it you see’.
Which is I think a lot of men cannot speak freely probably as women can.
(Parent 9a)
A third parent remarked that while the problems with her son had not yet
completely subsided, she was grateful to be getting along with her husband
again.
Certainly it's a terrible strain on the family. It's a strain on my husband and me
and has been and is terribly destructive. So it's terribly destructive for the whole
family. So we're, we get on much better . . . (Parent 4b)
It is also noteworthy that in two of the cases, no father was present. In both of
these instances, the mother had, in fact, suffered abuse from her partner, and
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needed targeted support in managing her child on her own. Fortunately, it
appeared as though these services were equally effective in meeting the needs
of single parents.
Schools
A final theme common amongst four of the families using the targeted
services was that the child had had a long term history of problems with his
or her school. As mentioned previously, in three of these cases, the child had
a learning disability and as a result, had experienced a high degree of failure
at school. In both of these cases, the school appeared to be at a loss as to how
to manage the problem or provide support to the family. As one mother
described it:
It was a bit . . . like a cat and mouse, where we were having problems with what
the school was doing, trying to rely on the help… You know, it’s a bit like trying
to get them to help the situation that we know was created by the school
sometimes in, in for example dashing her expectations, or exposing her to
ridicule in some way, by basically putting her in a group and then promptly
taking her out of a group again .. . And so they [the school] were very ambitious
and they didn’t like to have any failure in school. And so the minute they saw
any possibility of failure, she’d get it in the neck. (Parent 4a)
As mentioned previously, it was clear that these parents felt that the school
was a part of the problem rather than the solution, and for this reason, had
become wary of statutory support in general.
Summary of findings from targeted service interviews
For five out of the six families participating in the in-depth interviews, it was
clear that the service they accessed was successful in meeting their needs. In
four of these cases, the service provided flexible and long-term support that
was tailored specifically towards each family’s needs. For example, the
families who attended the substance abuse service received as much support
as they wanted, when they wanted it (through the telephone support line),
and for as long as they wanted it, which for both of these families was a
number of years. In one case, this support began when the parents first
discovered that their child was a heroin addict, continued during the time he
was in prison, and then advised them on their son’s successful anti-heroin
implant.
Those accessing counselling also received individually focused support that
helped them to generate solutions for their specific circumstances. Although
their problems were not completely resolved by the time of the interview, it
was clear that in both cases the parents benefited from increased confidence
and a new perspective gained through their participation in the service.
Both parents receiving support from the YOT teams also found this service to
be helpful. For the most part, however, their responses were less enthusiastic.
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This is partially because the service did not offer enough support. As
mentioned previously, one mother was disappointed that she only received
three visits from a YOT worker and then no further contact. This amount of
support contrasts starkly against the ongoing, multi-year support that the
families accessing the counselling and substance abuse services received. In
addition, both mothers felt that the YOT support was not flexible enough in
meeting their needs. For example, one mother wanted specific advice on
anger management and did not receive it. The other mother needed help in
getting her child back into school. While she was successful in developing a
strategy for this with her YOT worker, she remained disappointed and
frustrated with the lack of help provided by the school and the lack of coordination between the two agencies.
Although these findings represent the views of only a handful of parents, they
do suggest that flexibility and a certain degree of intensity are required to
assist families who are facing very serious problems with their teenagers. In
four of the cases, their parents sought and found a service that provided them
with enough support—i.e. the appropriate dosage to successfully manage the
situation. It is highly likely that three home-visits and a series of telephone
calls, which is what was provided by the YOT teams, is simply not enough for
addressing the needs of families with very serious issues. The ways in which
statutory services are (and are not) meeting the needs of families with
teenagers will be discussed more fully in the concluding chapter.
8.4
Key messages from the interviews with parents
In considering the findings from the parent interviews in aggregate, a number
of key messages for policy become apparent. First, it is clear from these
findings that one size does not fit all. Parents of teenagers seek support and
advice for a wide range of issues, based upon their family’s specific needs.
Although it appears as though all parents want support that falls within the
dispensing, relating and reflecting categories, the way in which they will
access this information and utilise it will vary according to their personal
circumstances. Furthermore, it is clear that parents’ satisfaction with a service
is directly related to the extent to which it meets their needs. For example,
parents attending a generically focused parent training course did not
necessarily appreciate the more therapeutic aspects of the service, whereas
parents struggling with a family crisis wanted and benefited from this type of
intervention.
Second, parents resent interventions that blame or judge them in any way,
shape or form. It was evident throughout all of the interviews that not only
did parents appreciate their facilitator’s non-judgemental approach, but also
several of them felt that the Government was creating a culture of blame. As
two parents observed in their closing remarks:
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And also I think far too much influence is the fact that they [the Government]
blame the parents for absolutely everything. And I hate that. ‘Cos, you know,
sometimes it isn’t. And it’s all very well taking a snapshot of that one child, but
you’ve no idea what’s happening in that family. Circumstances. And also quite
often things have been brewing up, so it’s not just that one incident that’s made
somebody do something. It’s a build up of lots of things and finally you snap, or
something happens. And I think it’s far too judgemental . . . (Parent 1a)
Well there is a stigma attached to it but then you’ve got the other side that
you’re reading in the paper all day that [parents are] breeding a culture of
children that are yobs. So it’s sort of... if the Government are supposed to be
coming down on this yob culture that we’re supposed to be so severely in, then
they should have these things there to prevent them if you look at it logically. . .
I think the Government as well I think they just don’t have enough for teenagers
to do. There’s nothing for teenagers to do. . . There’s no youth clubs. There’s
nothing for the children to do . . . (Parent 2)
Such statements suggest that support for parents of teenagers should be
offered in a way that is positive rather than punitive.
Third, intense problems require intense interventions. This point was
particularly evident from the interviews with parents who were utilising
targeted services. For these families, there was no quick fix, and the more
successful interventions (such as the substance abuse service) addressed a
range of issues associated with their problem. In addition, parents became
particularly embittered when it was clear that the service was not sufficient
for meeting their needs. This was especially true in the case of the mother
who was sent on a generic training course as a way of addressing her son’s
difficulties with ADHD. This was also true in the example of the family who
only received three visits from the YOT team which were not adequate for
helping the teenager to manage his temper.
Fourth, more support is required for teenagers who struggle in school. Six of
the families participating in the study had a child who had either a learning or
behavioural difficulty that affected their performance at school. In each case,
the parents stated that they had sought help from their child’s school when
the problem was first evident and found little help. In fact, in four of the
cases, support was only available once their child had entered the criminal
justice system, and in the other two examples the parents were fortunate
enough to find support on their own. While it should be kept in mind that
this is a very small study and the findings may not be representative of all
schools, it is clear that in these six cases the educational system was
inadequate in meeting the families’ needs.
Finally, the findings from the parent interviews echo those from the literature
review, suggesting that prevention is key. This was clearly the case for the
families attending the generically focused training course, since five of the
participants said this was one of the reasons why they came to the sessions
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initially and the other two stated that they wished that such support had been
available to them at an earlier point in their child’s life. Prevention was a core
issue for the families utilising the targeted services as well – since four of the
families stated that they had been searching for adequate levels of support
long before the issues became serious. For these reasons, it is likely that any
future policy that supports ‘best practice’ for parents of teenagers should also
include a preventative component.
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Chapter Nine: Key messages and recommendations
9.1
Summary of key messages
The primary aim of this study is to understand what constitutes effective
practice in supporting parents of teenagers from the perspectives of the
evidence base, the views of professionals who have an interest in parenting
support and the experiences of parents who have used them. In many ways,
the findings in this report reinforce the themes identified in a number of other
recent studies that consider the needs of parents in general. They are, for
example, consistent with those found elsewhere (Ghate and Hazel, 2002;
Moran et al, 2004; Quinton, 2004) which suggest that services need to be easily
accessible, that parents enjoy sharing their experiences with other parents,
and that parental satisfaction is determined by the extent to which services
meet their personal needs.
This report, however, also identifies a number of factors that are particularly
important for parents of teenagers and these messages are summarised below.
Understanding adolescent neurological development
The first key finding from this study indicates that parents benefit from
knowing about teenage brain development. The recent evidence regarding
the significant changes that occur in the adolescent brain suggests that parents
play a particularly important role during this time of child development and
that quality parenting counts. The professionals interviewed in this study
also recognised this fact and felt that an understanding of teenage brain
development should be included in service provision targeted at parents of
teenagers because it improves parents’ understanding of teenage behaviour.
Parents, too, espoused high levels of enthusiasm for this information when
they received it. As one mother put it, ‘It just makes so much sense! It explains so
much of my family life. I thought, God, why has nobody ever told me this?’ (Parent
3b)
Different services for different needs
A second theme of this study is that different parents have different needs.
The professionals emphasised this fact in particular, suggesting that parents
accessed support in multiple ways which included parent training courses,
informal support networks, one-to-one therapy, telephone and Internet
helplines, information leaflets and newsletters. The service providers also
observed that parents seek support for various reasons at all points of their
teenagers’ development. While some may want preventive advice when their
children are as young as ten, others may first seek support when their
teenager is leaving secondary school. However, the findings from the
interviews with both the service providers and the parents suggest that
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parents with preteens or younger teenagers (under the age of 15) are more
likely to make use of generically focused support, whereas parents with older
teenagers are more likely to want help that is tailored to their individual
needs and problems.
Prevention
A third theme arising from this study is the importance of prevention.
Findings reported in the literature review suggest that well-delivered
preventative services consistently contribute to improved outcomes for
teenagers and their parents. This finding was reinforced during the
interviews with the service providers, with many observing that problems
could be avoided if parents had access to advice and information at an earlier
stage in their child’s development. The parents participating in the in-depth
interviews also recognised this need. In many instances, parents had sought
support for preventative reasons, and several others regretted the lack of
availability of services when their children were younger. In fact, two of the
parents felt strongly that early support should be universally offered to all
families before their children entered secondary school.
The ongoing need for targeted and intensive support
The findings from this study equally suggest that more targeted services are
needed for families with teenagers of all ages, since problems might arise at
any point in a teenager’s development. When serious problems do develop,
they often require intensive levels of support which are flexible and
responsive to a wide range of needs. Both the service providers and parents
participating in the in-depth interviews felt that many statutory services were
currently not meeting the needs of families struggling with serious issues.
The reasons cited for this observation included the fact that statutory services
are often under-resourced, and that high referral thresholds had, in fact,
overloaded the system with cases that were extremely severe.
In addition, the findings suggest that teenagers who struggle with learning
problems are particularly vulnerable. The families participating in the
interviews provided repeated examples of the deleterious effects of school
failure. In three cases, the teenager had been recently diagnosed with ADHD
and in all these instances, the parents were at a loss as to where to find
appropriate support. This finding supports results from the literature review
and scoping exercise which suggests that provision for families with children
who have ADHD is not yet readily or consistently available in the UK. While
there are a number of support groups operating within individual
communities, a national network had not yet been fully established. This
reflects a significant gap in service provision.
Services should dispense, reflect and relate
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In addition, findings from this study suggest that parents benefit from a
combination of support that includes the dispensing, reflecting and relating
categories originally identified by Miller and Sambell (2002). Parents of
teenagers not only want to know what to do, they also want to know why
they should do it. The service providers, in particular, felt that understanding
the reasons why was especially important for parents of teenagers, since this
knowledge would enable them to adopt flexible approaches to parenting that
could be used throughout their teenagers’ development. Parents, however,
emphasised a need for services that provide relating support. In fact, most of
the parents interviewed in this study said that one of the things they liked
best about the service they used was the discovery that they were not alone in
their problems. As one mother remarked, ‘I could have gone and looked things
up in books and stuff myself. I think it was that sort of supportive listening from
other parents and gaining ideas from them [that was the most helpful].’ (Parent 1a)
Parents do not want to be judged or punished
Another related theme is that parents with teenagers need to feel listened to in
a way in which they are not judged or stigmatised. In fact, the professionals
who participated in this study felt that the fear of stigmatisation was the
primary reason parents with teenagers did not seek support. Furthermore, a
few service providers felt that some Government policies were creating a
culture of blame that was actually discouraging parents from accessing help.
As findings from the literature review suggest, parents with teenagers
frequently struggle with a variety of insecurities, many of which stem from
their past and/or midlife issues. For this reason, parents with teenagers are
more likely to benefit from gentle support that improves their confidence,
rather than policies that highlight their inadequacies. As one parent
respondent remarked, ‘I feel like they [the agencies] are blaming me all of the time
and quite frankly, I’ve had enough of that.‘ (Parent 6b)
Messages regarding service provision
As mentioned previously, a diverse range of services is required to meet the
diverse needs of parents of teenagers. However, the interviews with the
service providers and parents suggest that services are likely to be more
successful if they include some of the following features:
• They need to be located in places that are non-threatening, easily
accessible and comfortable, in order to reduce any perception of
stigmatisation. This suggests that services need to be situated within
parents’ local communities, near to their homes, but not in schools or
children’s centres which have negative associations for many
individuals.
• Providers and parents participating in this study were largely in
agreement that voluntary agencies were less stigmatising and therefore
more acceptable. This does not preclude the involvement of statutory
agencies, however, especially when it comes to their expertise and
organisational stability. In fact, these findings suggest that a multi159
•
•
•
9.2
agency approach would be most beneficial and an ideal scenario would
be joint working between the two sectors where complementary skills
and knowledge could be utilised.
Services should be open at times which suit parents of teenagers –
during school hours and in the evenings (to meet the needs of working
mothers and fathers).
Staff should adopt an informal and non-judgemental approach.
However, they need to demonstrate at the same time that they have
experience of working and/or living with young people and an
understanding of the difficulties faced by parents of teenagers.
Word-of-mouth appears to be the most effective means of advertising
services. This means that services need to be well-liked and effective,
in order to receive recommendations. Some form of advertising may
be an effective form of publicity, however, if services have not yet
become fully established.
Recommendations
The findings from this study suggest that much more is required in the way of
support for parents of teenagers. In fact, the findings indicate that parents
would benefit from support on three levels:
1. Support that improves parents’ awareness of adolescent development
and the needs of teenagers.
2. Preventative support that is universally available at the community
level throughout England.
3. Targeted support that is sufficiently resourced so that it can flexibly
address the needs of families confronting very serious issues with their
teenagers.
By synthesising the messages summarised in the previous section, it is
possible to develop a set of recommendations regarding how this threepronged approach might be developed.
Improving awareness
In light of the recent findings in adolescent brain development, Laurence
Steinberg concluded his 2001 presidential address to the Society for Research
on Adolescence with the following remarks:
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The next step should be the development of a systematic, large-scale, multifaceted, and ongoing public health campaign to educate parents about
adolescence that draws on the collective resources and expertise of health care
professionals, scientists, governmental agencies, community organizations,
schools, religious institutions, and the mass media. It is time to be as vigorous
and serious in our efforts to educate parents of teenagers as we have been in past
efforts to educate parents of infants. The wealth of knowledge generated over
the past quarter century has provided the scientific foundation to realize this
important goal. It is now up to us to bridge the gap between research and
practice. After all, we know some things. (p. 16)
A sub-theme that has resonated throughout this report is the role of the media
in providing parenting advice and support to families with children of all
ages. However, many of the service providers participating in this study
noted that this advice was not always accurate, nor was it always presented in
a way that was responsible, especially when it came to portraying the needs
of teenagers and their families. More needs to be done to ensure that parents
receive responsible messages about parenting and the important role they
assume in their teenagers’ lives.
As mentioned in the literature review, ParentLink in the US has been
successful in creating this awareness through strategically launching
educational campaigns and staging local events. A recent evaluation of the
service (Mertensmeyer and Fine, 2000) suggests that its overlapping
constellation of services is one of the keys to its success. Much like ParentLine
Plus, this service offers a helpline, a website and information regarding
community-based services. Additionally, however, it sponsors large-scale
educational campaigns through its website and the media via well-placed
advertising and television announcements.
In this respect, ParentLine Plus is similarly suited to educate the public
through the media and community-sponsored events. Already it is engaged
in a public awareness campaign for parents on teenage sex and relationships.
It is likely that respected and well-known organisations, such as the DfES and
the BBC, could do more to promote public awareness of ParentLine Plus and
the issues confronting parents of teenagers.
Newsletters, too, may be a cost-effective way of making parents aware of
what to expect during the teenage years. As mentioned in the literature
review, ‘age-paced’ newsletters sent to parents at key points in their
teenager’s development are a proven method of improving parenting
practices, especially in poorer, low income communities.
Preventative services
Both the service providers and the parents participating in this study
identified the need for universally available, preventative services offered to
parents at the time their child is transferring to secondary school. The Parent
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Information Point (PIP) was a recent UK attempt at supporting parents of
teenagers during significant transition points, including the transfer from
primary to secondary school, and then again at age 14, when teenagers are
making decisions about their GCSEs. Findings from the PIP evaluation
(Bhabra and Ghate, 2004) suggest that parents who attended these events
demonstrated significant short-term improvements in their knowledge of
child development in general and greater confidence in their parenting skills.
It should be kept in mind, however, that these classes were one-off events,
and the evaluation was unable to consider the longer term impact of parents’
attendance on their parenting. It is likely that parents would benefit even
further from multiple information sessions offered over the span of several
weeks.
Parents participating in the current study indicated that they did not mind
attending courses that lasted between six to ten weeks, and in some instances,
wished that they were longer and that booster sessions were available. This
suggests that many parents would be receptive to universally available
parenting classes offered at key transition points in their teenager’s
development. Case Study Service Three proved to be particularly popular
with the parents who participated in the in-depth interviews, since both were
able to provide specific examples of the ways in which the advice they
received (that included information on adolescent brain development)
improved their parenting skills and their relationship with their child. This
course is accredited by the Open College Network and it is likely that it could
be offered throughout the country, although it has yet to be evaluated.
An example of a preventative service that was recently evaluated is The Strong
African American Families Program that is summarised in the literature review.
This service is delivered to both parents and preteens from disadvantaged
families via seven 2.5 hour sessions that provide parents with both dispensing
and reflecting advice regarding key issues associated with adolescence. This
programme also gives parents the opportunity to relate to each other by
providing them with a meal. Another key feature of this service is that it also
provides support to teenagers during the weekly sessions. The evaluation
findings suggest that not only does the service improve outcomes for families
with teenagers, it prevents problems from happening in the first place.
Although the service was originally developed for vulnerable BME families, it
is likely that this model, or the similar Strengthening Families, Strengthening
Communities programme, can be adapted for use with a variety of
communities.
Targeted interventions
As mentioned previously, targeted interventions that provide one-to-one
support are extremely important for families dealing with serious problems.
Parents’ satisfaction with these services, however, appears to hinge upon
whether the services are capable of meeting their needs. Additionally,
162
parents are put off when these services are provided in a way that is
perceived as punitive or judgemental.
An example of a particularly successful model of targeted service delivery is
Case Study Service Nine, which provides multiple levels of support to
individuals who have a family member or friend who struggles with drug or
alcohol addiction. Although these services are not specifically targeted at
families with teenagers, aspects of their service model could be applied to
interventions that are. As mentioned in Section 8.3, these services are
generally delivered by trained volunteers and include a helpline, group-based
support, home visits, health advice and work in prisons. The success of this
service is based upon its ability to link up with a variety of statutory and
voluntary agencies that complement each other in their ability to support
individuals struggling with substance abuse.
A second model proven to be effective for parents of delinquent children is
the Oregon Social Learning Centre’s Parent Management Training
programme (Kazdin, 1987; 2005). This programme involves 20 hours of
training (emphasising authoritative parenting) that is delivered in a way that
is non-threatening or stigmatising. Not only do numerous evaluations
suggest that it is effective in reducing adolescent anti-social behaviour in 27%
of cases, it also improves maternal outcomes, such as reductions in selfreported depression (Riley and Bogenschneider, 2000).
An additional finding from this study is the need for more services for
teenagers who struggle with ADHD. Although ADHD is challenging for
parents with children of all ages, it is especially difficult to manage during the
teenage years, since the condition often intensifies the impulsivity typically
associated with adolescence. This is particularly true in cases when the
diagnosis was made during pre-adolescence or adolescence. In these
instances, maladaptive patterns of behaviour have usually become embedded
over a number of years and generally require more intense and longer
interventions. As the findings from the current investigation suggest, this
places teenagers at significant risk of academic failure, substance abuse,
mental health problems and juvenile delinquency. For these reasons, families
are likely to need high levels of support in developing strategies for dealing
with their teenager’s ADHD-related behaviour.
While the scoping exercise identified several regionally based UK ADHD
services, no national network (with national standards for parent training)
currently exists. CHADD is an example of a highly successful US
organisation that provides support to families through its Internet site and its
network of community-based support groups, and it appears as though
ADDiS is making progress towards this model here in the UK. Policy makers
may want to consider ways in which to support the work of ADDiS, as well as
mental health services, to make sure that services are more widely available to
families with teenagers struggling with ADHD.
163
9.3
Conclusion
A final recommendation
It should be kept in mind that the findings from this study were based upon
relatively few interviews with service providers and parents who were
recruited because of their convenience, not because they were representative.
By triangulating their responses with the findings from the literature review,
it is hoped that some of the bias inherently created by this small sample is
counteracted by the robustness of the literature base. Nevertheless, the study
suggests that more could be done to understand the needs of parents of
teenagers. A final recommendation of this report is that more research be
conducted to consider the perspectives of parents who have not successfully
accessed support, either because they do not want to or they do not know
how. Results from such a study would provide an even richer understanding
of how policy and practice can best support the needs of parents with
teenagers. In the meantime, however, it is hoped that the findings
summarised in this report will at least provide a solid start.
Some concluding thoughts
In drawing attention to the limitations of the current investigation, it is also
important to keep in mind what the findings do not tell us. They do not, for
example, suggest that being a parent of a teenager is more difficult than
during other periods in a child’s development. Although some of the parents
participating in this study were clearly stressed, there is no way of knowing
how their feelings compare with the frustration caused by a colicky baby, the
anxiety parents experience when their six-year-old has difficulty reading, or
the sorrow they feel when their nine-year-old has trouble making friends.
Furthermore, the findings presented here do not suggest that parents are
more likely to encounter problems with their child once they enter the teenage
years. As Rutter and Smith (1995) observed, problematic teenage behaviour is
relatively rare. When problems do occur, however, the consequences are more
serious. Once a child becomes a teenager, misconduct carries with it the risk
of a criminal record and academic failure which severely impairs a young
person’s entry into the work force. No doubt teenagers require a high degree
of protection and care from their parents as they mature into adulthood. For
this reason, support for parents of teenagers is as important as support for
parents of infants and primary school-aged children.
Finally, while these findings indicate that a small percentage of parents of
teenagers will always require services that prevent difficult situations from
becoming worse, they also suggest that parents want and benefit from
services that prevent difficulties from occurring in the first place. Over the
past ten years, Government policies have concentrated primarily on support
for parents of problematic teenagers. Perhaps now is the time to develop
164
initiatives that emphasise the importance of the teenage years and the positive
role that parents assume in teenagers’ development. Not only will such
programmes prevent bad situations from getting worse, they will also enable
good family circumstances to improve.
165
166
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Appendix 1: Services supporting parents of teenagers
1
Exemplary programmes from the United States of America
A wide variety of services is available in the US that address the needs of
young people and their parents on both the universal and targeted level.
These vary dramatically across local communities and states and it is
therefore beyond the scope of this report to list everything that it available.
However, a few exemplary services (most of which have been extensively
evaluated) is provided below.
Adolescent Transitions Programmes (ATP) is a multilevel, family-centred
intervention delivered in the middle school setting. The intervention works
within a “tiered” strategy (universal, selective, and indicated), where each
level builds upon the previous.
•
The universal level of the ATP strategy, directed to the parents of all
students in a school, establishes a Family Resource Centre. The goal,
through collaboration with the school staff, is to engage parents,
establish norms for parenting practices, and disseminate information
about risks for problem behaviour and substance use. The videotape
"Parenting in the Teenage Years" helps parents identify observable risk
factors and focuses on the use of effective and ineffective family
management skills, including positive reinforcement, monitoring,
limit-setting, and relationship skills to facilitate evaluation of levels and
areas of risk.
•
The selective level of intervention, the Family Check-Up, offers family
assessment and professional support to identify those families at risk
from` problem behaviour and substance use.
•
The indicated level, the Parent Focus curriculum, provides direct
professional support to parents for making the changes indicated by
the Family Check-Up. Services may include behavioural family
therapy, parenting groups, or case management services. Each level of
intervention builds on the previous level to reach parents within the
school setting, to address the needs of at-risk families, and to provide
family treatment.
Centre for the Improvement of Child Caring (CICC): This programme is
designed to improve parental effectiveness by providing a clear philosophy of
parenting and a set of skills and strategies to address a variety of childrearing
challenges and problems. These programmes are usually taught as parenting
classes that meet once a week for several weeks.
Growing Up Fast is a programme that offers ‘solution-focused’ responses to
many of the problems parents and teenagers face. The programme encourages
198
each family to recognise their strengths and set themselves goals for bringing
their teenager through adolescence to adulthood. This programme has been
evaluated and is a proven method for improving parenting and decreasing
conflict between parents and their teenagers.
Multisystemic Therapy Program (MST) is an intensive family-based
treatment that addresses the known determinants of serious antisocial
behaviour in adolescents and their families. The primary goals of MST are to
reduce rates of antisocial behaviour in the adolescent, reduce out-of-home
placements, and empower families to resolve future difficulties. The aim is to
treat those factors contributing to their behavioural problems that exist on the
individual level of the teen (e.g., poor problem solving skills), family relations
(e.g., inept discipline), peer relations (e.g., association with deviant peers), and
school performance (e.g., academic difficulties). Treatment goals are
developed on an individual basis in collaboration with the family and
adolescent. Family strengths are used as levers for therapeutic change.
Parent-time provides psycho-educational group support to parents of
adolescents. It aims to reduce parental stress and anxiety by increasing
parental understanding of adolescent development patterns and improving
behaviour management techniques. There have been no methodologically
rigorous evaluations of Parent-time, though parents attending the course
reported increases in levels of knowledge, self confidence and communication
abilities following the intervention (Cohen and Irwin, 1983).
Parenting Wisely (American Teen) is an interactive CD-ROM program
designed for parents of adolescents and pre-adolescents (ages 8-18).
Parenting Wisely aims to reduce child behaviour problems, delinquency and
substance abuse among adolescents, improve parenting knowledge and skills,
and strengthen the relationship between adolescent and parent. Parenting
Wisely has been designated an Exemplary Model Program by the Substance
Abuse and Mental Health Services Association (SAMHSA) and the Centre for
Substance Abuse Prevention (CSAP) in the US. Parenting Wisely depicts nine
typical problem situations including: doing household chores, stepparentyouth relationships, monitoring "troublesome" friends, improving poor school
performance, sibling fighting, and complying with parental requests (phone
use and music volume) and more. Both effective and ineffective solutions are
depicted for each problem through video-tapes and are followed by
comprehensive critiques and explanations of the parenting and
communication skills viewed.
Parents Who Care (PWC) is an educational skills-building program created
for families with children between the ages of 12-16. The objective of PWC is
to reduce risk factors such as parent and sibling drug use and poor and
inconsistent family management practices, as well as strengthen protective
factors like positive parental attitudes and family bonding. PWC attains this
through helping parents establish clear standards for managing teenage
199
behaviour. The course can be facilitated by a range of statutory and voluntary
professionals.
Families That Care: Guiding Good Choices, GGC ( formerly Preparing for the
Drug Free Years (PYDF) Families That Care—Guiding Good Choices (GGC) is
a multimedia program that gives parents of children aged eight to thirteen
knowledge and skills to successfully navigate children through early
adolescence such as alcohol, drugs and sexual activity. The program aims to:
•
•
•
Strengthen and clarify family expectations for behaviour
Enhance the conditions that promote bonding in the family
Teach skills to parents and children that allow children to successfully
meet the expectations of their family to resist drug use
An evaluation based on a comparison between users and a control
group found that users were significantly more likely to have remained nonusers than their counterparts in the control group. Youth in the GGC group
who had initiated substance use at the 1-year follow up were significantly less
likely to have progressed to more frequent or varied substance use than youth
in the control group. At three and a half years after the service, rates of
initiation for drunkenness and marijuana use were significantly lower in the
GGC group than for youth in the control group. The GGC group also had a
significantly lower proportion of youth who reported using alcohol during
the previous month, lower frequencies of alcohol use, and lower growth of
alcohol use frequency.
Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP) program. Linked to
CICC, this programme was originally designed for parents of children under
the age of six. It is taught with the use of the video tapes which demonstrate a
variety of effective parenting skills. STEP accomplishes this by increasing
parental awareness of the factors that motivate children’s behaviour. More
recently, a version for parents of teenagers STEP/Teen – For Parents of
Children 13-19 has been developed that covers the following topics:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Understanding Yourself and Your Teenager
Changing Your Response to Your Teen
Communicating Respect and Encouragement
Encouraging Cooperation and Solving Problems
Using Consequences to Build Responsibility
Deciding What To Do – Part I
Deciding What To Do – Part II
Strengthening Multi-Ethnic Families and Communities is an integration of
various prevention/intervention strategies aimed at reducing violence against
the self, the family and the community. The program targets ethnic and
culturally diverse parents of children aged three to eighteen years who are
interested in raising children and are committed to leading a violence-free,
healthy lifestyle. The long-term goals of the programme are to reduce the
200
risks associated with drug/alcohol use, teen suicide, juvenile delinquency,
gang involvement, child abuse and domestic violence. Short-term objectives
are to increase parents’ sense of competence, positive family/parent/child
interactions, positive parent/child relationships, child self-esteem and selfdiscipline, child social competency skills and increased parental involvement
in community activities. Parent training classes follow a curriculum that
includes five major components: Cultural/Spiritual Focus; Rites of Passage;
Positive Discipline; Enhancing Relationships; and Community Involvement.
Training is also offered to other professional interested in delivering this
service.
Family Matters: Family Matters is a home-based programme designed to
prevent tobacco and alcohol use in children aged between 12 and 14. The
service is delivered using four booklets containing reading and family
activities, covering adult supervision and support; rule-setting and
monitoring; family communication, attachment and time together; education
encouragement; family/adult substance use; substance availability and peer
attitudes and media orientation toward substance use. Evaluations showed
that adolescents who received the service were 1.4 times less likely to have
smoked cigarettes and 1.3 times less likely to have used alcohol. 90% of
parents thought that their child’s potential for non-use of alcohol would be
impacted by the service.
2
UK services
2.1
Universally available services
Information based services (Books, websites, etc)
Exploring Parenthood is a national organisation offering advice, fact sheets
and counselling services for parents that aim to help them find their own
ways of coping more confidently with the stress of family life. This
organisation also offers publications on common parenting problems and
training for professionals and community workers to run parent support
groups. (No website)
201
Trust for the Study of Adolescence (TSA). The TSA is a national UK charity
that undertakes applied research and provides training for professionals
working with adolescence and their families. In addition, the TSA operates a
website that includes a list of services and organisations that can provide
parents with advice and support. The website also hosts a range of
publications including books, leaflets, and DVDs which are available for sale.
(www.tsa.uk.com)
•
Teenagers in Trouble: Skills for Parents. The Trust for the Study of
Adolescence (TSA) has developed a video-based information package
for parents of troublesome teenagers. Acted scenarios covering issues
around setting boundaries, negotiating and neighbourhood/peer
influences are discussed by a group of parents within the video. This
resource has not yet been evaluated.
NCH National Children’s Charity funds more than 500 projects and supports
over 160,000 people at children's centres throughout the UK. They are the
leading UK provider of family and community centres and children's services
in rural areas. Family, community and children’s centres offer an eclectic mix
of family support services, which will include programmes, course and
workshops for parents of teenagers. NCH offers a leaflet for parents called
‘End of my tether’, which helps parents to cope with their teenagers.
(www.nch.org.uk)
Helplines
Curve - Parent Coaching is a national parent coaching service that finds
tailored solutions for individual families. Life coaches provide a one-to-one
telephone service and group teleclasses for parents who want to increase their
confidence and develop a balanced family life. One of their specialist
packages includes parent coaching skills for professionals who work with
children and families. They have particular experience in working with
professionals in the statutory and voluntary sectors.
(www.curvecoaching.com)
Parentline Plus is a national charity that works to support parents with
children of all ages. In addition to their telephone and text helpline, which
are open to all parents, they also deliver Parentline Plus groups and
workshops, which address specific issues. Groups and workshops are
delivered at their area offices around the country, but can also be delivered
over the telephone. (www.parentlineplus.org.uk)
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Education Campaigns
National Family Parenting Institute (NFPI) facilitates a national ‘Parents’
Week’ on an annual basis with a different theme every year highlighting the
importance of families. Parents' Week was established as a way of getting
families to the top of the political agenda nationally and locally. Practitioners
around the country are encouraged to put on a range of activities throughout
the week, ranging from information stalls in shopping centres to workshops,
parenting cafes, or activities organised by parents for parents, with the aim of
informing and engaging parents.
Trust for the Study of Adolescence holds a running programme of courses and
conferences on a wide range of topic associated with their research and
practice development work. An example of a forthcoming conference is
‘Supporting children and parents during the transition to secondary school’.
Parent training/group based services
Barnardos. Barnardos is a leading UK charity offering a range of support
services to children, young people and their families. Parenting Matters is an
initiative run by Barnardos offering courses for groups of up to twelve
parents for six to eight weeks in response to need. There are also courses for
those wishing to work as peer parent facilitators. ‘Parenting Matters’ is aimed
at parents with children of all ages, although some local projects have
specifically aimed it at parents of teenagers. (http://www.barnardos.org.uk/)
•
Parenting Matters - Parenting Teenagers: Barnardos in Knowsley runs
a ‘Parenting Matters’ course called ‘Parenting Teenagers’, which
focuses on developing a ‘route map’ for parents and teenagers to
support them through adolescent years. The project aims to highlight
the positive role played by effective parenting and support a
programme run by local parents for local parents that concentrates
upon confidence buildng and reduced isolation.
•
Parenting Matters: Parenting Teenagers – Barnardos Neath Port
Talbot: This local Barnardos project runs a course in every school for
parents of teenagers. The course runs for eight weeks and is based on a
problem-solving approach through an NCH course entitled “Handling
Children’s Behaviour”. Between course sessions, parents are
encouraged to discuss problems with other parents and to practise
aspects of positive parenting at home. They also run an individual oneto-one home visiting programme that provides CBT to parents with
teenagers. The weekly home visits are reinforced by weekly phone
contact from project staff members.
Family Care Trust is a national organisation whose resources and courses
have been widely used and implemented by statutory and voluntary
organisations that are delivering support to parents of teenagers, such as
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social services, schools, adult education agencies and national voluntary
organisations such as Barnardos and NCH. The courses are designed to
provide support at all stages of the family life-cycle, including adolescent
years. Through these courses, parents are enabled to improve their skills and
develop more honest, respectful relationships in their families.
(www.familycaring.co.uk)
•
Parenting Teenagers is a course developed by the Family Care Trust
and available for implementation by a range of organisations including
the YMCA and local family trusts. The course is delivered to parents
of teenagers over six to eight weekly sessions that reinforce the
parenting skills and provide information regarding the risks associated
with the teen year. The Trust for the Study of Adolescence evaluated
the use of the ‘Parenting Teenagers' course by YMCA in October 2000
and reported that the “materials were generally rated very highly and
were particularly valued by people who had not run courses before, as
the materials were structured and clear to follow”.
Family Centres (also sometimes referred to as ‘family projects’, or ‘family
support centres’) tend to be well-established, community-based
provision supporting local families. Support provided by these centres tends
to vary greatly from centre to centre, with no two centres offering the same
service. Family centres typically offer both open access and referral
based services to families situated within their local catchment areas.
Although most family centres predominately target families with young
children, they are beginning to include parents of teenagers.
Family Centres (Walsall) There are three family centres in Walsall providing
a range of groups designed to assist and support parents/carers in
developing their skills. Their groups include ‘Handling Teenage
Behaviour’ and the ‘Spurgeon’s Child Care Project’. (No website)
•
Handling Teenage Behaviour Groups. This is a short course offered
to parents providing strategies to help them manage their teenagers.
•
Spurgeons Child Care Project. This involves a range of services to
help parents and young people (aged 10 -16 yrs) communicate better
and negotiate ground rules. The service provides support to both
parents, carers and young people individually and works with the
family units to enable the young person to access mainstream services.
Centre for Fun and Families (Leicester) is a national voluntary organisation
that operates outside of Leicester and works with families experiencing child
and teenage behaviour difficulties. (www.funandfamilies.com)
•
Living with Teenagers is delivered in groups to parents of teenagers. It
is a seven week programme that is based on social learning theory and
helps to develop parents’ skills to listen, negotiate and problem solve.
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Group based courses aim to develop a constructive approach to
parenting, with an emphasis on coping and problem solving skills.
This service also runs several workshops specifically targeted at BME
families living in the Leicester area.
Family Matters (York) is part of the National Association of Community
Family Trusts (NACFT). Family Matters York is a local CFT that offers two
kinds of courses for parents of teenagers: a six-week course entitled ‘Time
Out for Teens,’ and a one-off workshop entitled ‘Surviving Teenagers’.
(www.familymattersyork.org.uk)
•
Time Out for Teens is a six session course designed for parents of
teenagers and preteens aged nine and older. The course aims to give
insight into the adolescent period of development, together with a
wealth of practical ideas to help parents cope. The core sessions include
modules on communication, problem solving, parenting styles, and
why it’s tough being a teenager.
•
Surviving Teenagers is a one and a half hour long “One Stop”
workshop for parents and carers of teenagers and focuses on
understanding how teenagers tick and how to communicate with them.
It also looks at handling conflict and strategies for problem solving.
The first half of each One Stop session focuses on building up self
esteem and the relationship of the parent/carer with their child and the
second half focuses on trouble shooting and how to handle difficult
behaviour.
Totnes Community Family Trust
• Time Out for Teenagers is delivered by the Totnes CFT. This
programme is delivered in a series of six workshops designed for
parents with pre-teens or teenagers. These workshops help parents to
improve their relationships with their teenagers through
understanding why it’s “tough” being a teenager, the physical changes,
the emotional changes, the search for identity and the struggle for
independence - to name but a few topics covered. (www.tcft.org.uk)
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Parenting Together are parenting courses offered via ParentLine Plus. Groups,
workshops and telephone groups tackle a wide range of parenting issues
specific to parents of teenagers:
•
Getting on with your teenager is a course where parents share
experiences with other parents of teenagers and discover new ways of
communicating and building a positive relationship with the teenager.
•
Coping with teenage issues is a group based course where parents
develop skills to deal with issues such as smoking, alcohol, drugtaking, eating and sex.
Parent Network is a national organisation that provides information, advice
and courses for parents of children of all ages, including follow up
programmes for parents of teenagers. Parentlink is its educational
programme delivered to groups of parent to develop parents’ self-awareness
and confidence. The curriculum is delivered over 13 weeks and is
accompanied by booklets. Parent Network has also developed parenting
materials such as ‘Living with Teenagers’, which are commonly used by those
offering parenting courses.
Positive Parenting Programmes (Triple P) - Teen Triple P: Triple P is an
international parenting and family support strategy that aims to prevent
severe behavioural, emotional and developmental problems in children by
enhancing the knowledge, skills and confidence of parents and those who
work with them. Triple P involves service delivery on many different levels
ranging from a universal Triple P to targeted Triple P services aimed at
equipping parents with coping strategies, communication and problemsolving skills. Teen Triple P is an extension of the positive parenting
programme and offers parents ways to avoid or reduce some of the negative
aspects of parenting teenagers. Teen Triple P is available for parents with
varying levels of need and can be delivered as an individual consultation,
group programme, a seminal series or as self help. (www.triplep.net)
•
The Selected Teen Triple P provides parents with information about
how they can promote their child’s development and deal with
commonly encountered behavioural problems. The service is delivered
as a seminar by primary care professionals (mental health and welfare
staff and other allied health professionals) in regular contact with
families of teenagers.
•
Group Teen Triple P is available for parents wanting intensive training
in positive parenting skills. This service is typically offered to parents
with children who have more severe behaviour problems.
•
Primary Care Teen Triple P is for parents with specific concerns about
their teenager’s behaviour or development and require individual
consultations or active skills training.
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Positive Parenting Publications and Programmes is a national charity
specialising in the support of parents and those who work with them, offering
training and parenting support in communities across the UK. Over 4,000
parents a year attend parenting workshops and courses. Following the
success of the DfES-sponsored Teen Transition training programme, they are
now running regional training events for primary and secondary schools.
(http://www.parenting.org.uk/)
•
Time Out for Teenagers is a course marketed on the Positive Parenting
website delivered in groups to parents of teenagers in a flexible format.
There are six core sessions that cover developmental tasks, building the
parent/young person relationship, parenting style, communication,
negotiation and problem solving. There are also two optional sessions
that cover step-parenting and how to talk about sex and sexuality.
Time Out for Teenagers is delivered by health visitors, teachers, social
workers, Youth Offending Teams, family support workers, community
group leaders and parents with groupwork skills involved in
supporting other parents in either a befriending or professional
capacity.
Relate is a national voluntary organisation offering advice on relationships
through counselling, sex therapy, workshops, mediation, consultations and
face-to-face support , by phone and its website. Relate offers a range of
workshops and courses catering for all parents, parents of teenagers, divorced
and separated parents, family counselling services and a service for parents
that are in the process of separating. (www.relate.org.uk)
•
Riding the Storm is a workshop run for parents of teenagers. It is a
workshop that looks at how to open up communication, improve
parental relationships with their teenagers and explore teenage issues.
The course is normally run over six or eight sessions and can be run at
convenient times for parents. Courses are offered at a cost (around
£30), but are occasionally free of charge in poorer areas. Workshops are
run all over the country through local Relate centres. Relate can also
design custom-made courses and workshops for organisations that
support families, schools and prisons.
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The National Association of Community Family Trusts (NACFT) represents,
coordinates the activities and promotes the development of Community
Family Trusts across the UK. Community Family Trusts (CFTs), also known
as Family Matters, are local voluntary community organisations that aim to
promote the well-being and pro-social development of children, young
people and families through innovative programmes that provide advice,
education and support. Local CFTs provide a variety of parenting courses,
including courses for parents of teenagers specifically. The CFT movement
covers all regions of England. NACFT has a well established national
evaluation system based at the Department of Child Health. It collects data
from participants on demographics, expectations, perceived course quality
and perceived benefits of various couple support and relationship training
activities. (www.nacft.org.uk)
YMCA Parenting and Family Support Programmes provide a range of
family programmes on the local community level that include parenting
support schemes, flexible childcare and specific projects for families who are
facing serious challenges. The YMCA’s Parenting Education and Support
Unit helps local YMCAs, and other community organisations, work to
strengthen relationships within families and support parents, especially
fathers and parents with teenagers. Fathers and Sons specialist services are
also available. Programmes differ across the country and include 27
parenting teenagers’ initiative projects funded by the Lloyds TSB, the
National Dads and Lads initiative and the central YMCA Y-Touring
parenting teens drama production 'double the trouble'. (www.ymca.org.uk)
•
YMCA Parenting Courses (Leicester) are generic nine week courses run
by local YMCAs for parents of teenagers on how to support them
around the issues of crime, education and health.
•
YMCA Image (Leicester): Through a series of classes and workshops
IMAGE provides black minority ethnic (BME) parents with the
appropriate knowledge on how to engage with the educational,
healthcare and youth justice system. The main objective is to make
parents feel empowered to address problems that may occur in these
sectors and confident enough to access the services available to them.
Preventative services
Family Care Trust
•
What Can Parents of a Teenager Do? is another service of the Family
Caring Trusts aimed at parents of teenagers. It is a preventative course
consisting of a weekly two hour session over six to eight weeks. They
also have courses on ‘Parenting and Sex’ and ‘What Can a Parent Do?’
which include elements suitable for parents of teenagers. (For website
see above)
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Parentline Plus, in addition to their helpline and generic group based courses
also deliver preventative workshops.
•
Preparing for Teenagers is a preventative workshop aimed at
preparing parents of pre-teens for future teenage years.
Signposting services for parents of teenagers
National Family and Parent Institute (NFPI) is a new organisation that has
coincided with the recent ‘Parenting’ phenomenon generated by the
Government. The NFPI’s role is around coordinating organisations offering
parenting support and education to support and assist parents in finding
relevant information and help. The website hosts a directory of local
organisations offering parenting support. (www.nfpi.org)
Parenting UK: Publications and Programmes, formerly known
as the Parenting Education & Support Forum, inform, advise and regulate the
parenting service sector. They support the development of good practice at all
levels by offering a range of services. They maintain a network of agencies
and practitioners throughout the UK and act as a voice for service providers.
(www.parenting-forum.org.uk)
Service that support adolescent development
Connexions Partnerships provide guidance for all 13-19 year olds in England.
Every secondary school should have at least one Connexions personal advisor
providing support to pupils around education, training and employment
options. Connexions advisors also provide individual guidance and support
to parents of young people, signposting them to appropriate services if
needed. The service also produces a Parent and Carer magazine that includes
a section specifically for parents of teenagers.
2.2
Targeted services
Services for families going through transitions
Relate, as mentioned above, provides a range of services offering advice on
relationships. For families experiencing difficulty in times of transition,
Relate provides courses for divorced and separated parents, family
counselling services and a service for parents who are in the process of
separating.
•
Parents Apart is a course targeted specifically at divorced and
separated parents. The course aims to help parents to understand
changes in their relationships and develop strong parent/child
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relationships after the separation. They are also taught how to be coparents and how to cope with conflict.
•
Relate for Parents is delivered to separating parents with the emphasis
on the children. Parents are advised how to deal with the process
positively and learn how best to help the children through the
experience. It also helps parents to shield their children away from
negative emotions and plan important contact with the non-resident
parent.
National Council for the Divorced and Separated: The NCDS co-ordinates
social activities through its 115 local NCDS branches nationwide. In addition
to these social activities the NCDS Trust runs counselling centres in several
regions and provide a postal advisory service.
Services for lone parents
Gingerbread is the leading support and advice service for lone parents in the
UK. It offers a variety of services that include a telephone helpline, local selfhelp groups and sponsores fun activities for parents and their children to
attend.
One Parent Families runs an information service for lone parents, other
organisations, local authorities and the media. They produce factsheets and
offer a telephone helpline service to lone parents nationwide. They also
campaign and lobby to change the law and improve provisions for lone
parent families. (http://www.oneparentfamilies.org.uk/)
Services for families with behaviour/emotional problems
Behaviour and Education Support Teams/Behaviour Support Services (BEST):
Behaviour and Education Support Teams are strategically placed multiagency teams working with pupils, schools and families to promote the
attendance, emotional well being and positive behaviour of children and
young people (aged five to eighteen years) who are deemed at risk of
developing emotional or behavioural problems. The teams, comprising staff
from health, education, and social care backgrounds, are located within
schools with high proportions of ‘at risk’ pupils.
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Divert Trust Parental Support Programme: The DIVERT Trust aims to divert
vulnerable young people from crime. They do this through engaging with
young people in constructive activities and by developing positive relations
with adults and peers. The Divert Trust Parental Support Programme aims to
work with parents and young people to enable them to work together to seek
and provide solutions to the issues of family conflict. (No website available)
Educational Psychology Service: Educational Psychology Services are
departments within LEAs that include psychologists, teachers and special
needs assistants, whose function is to promote children’s development and
attainment through the use of psychology in working with pupils, schools,
families, and other statutory services. The service provides support for
children and young people (from birth to nineteen years) with learning
difficulties, behavioural problems, or emotional issues. Support may involve
either direct or indirect individual casework with specific children and
families, or with whole school systems.
Surviving Your Teenager: ‘Surviving your Teenager’ runs for twelve weeks
and draws on the behaviourist model and Solution Focused Therapy, though
it can be adapted according to the needs of the parents. Areas covered
include: identifying behaviours – coping skills and feelings, targeted
behaviour – different approaches, children’s needs and feelings, assertiveness,
communication, consequences, punishment and consistency, boundary
setting, introducing their children to the group and saying something positive
about your child and building parents’ self-confidence. In the final session
parents are presented with certificates. Courses are run in schools or
community venues for parents who have children between the ages of 9–17
years. Parents may self-refer and referrals are also received from Health
Visitors, Social Services, School Health Practitioners, CAMHS, EWO, school
staff, Child and Family Support Team, Probation etc.
Services for families with substance abuse problems
Addaction is a leading UK charity working solely in the field of drug and
alcohol treatment. Clients’ needs are assessed and a programme is provided
to help them work towards abstinence. Operating around the UK service
provision varies from one locality to the next, with all projects offering
information services to parents and carers of substance misusers and some
offering parenting support services. (www.addaction.org.uk)
Branching Out provides a confidential service to young people and their
families who are seeking advice and assistance around substance use through
a network of locally co-ordinated projects. Local projects work alongside
professionals such as youth workers and teachers to support them around
issues concerning substance misuse amongst young people.
•
Branching Out Tameside provides a number of services for young
people and the families and carers of substance users. Services on offer
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for young people who substance misuse range from preventative work
for young people at risk to one-to-one support services for young
people seeking help with drug and alcohol use, to group work and
educational sessions, as well as professionals seeking information.
(www.branching-out.net)
•
Services for parents and carers: In addition to this, the parents’ and
carers’ team works with the parents and carers of drug and alcohol
users of any age. Staff offer support through a drop in session, over the
telephone, through home visits or through appointments at the
Branching Out building. Staff are available to support the families and
carers of substance users through helping them to access other services
and proving advice and information.
Drug and alcohol action teams (DAATs) are multi-agency partnerships in
each metropolitan, unitary and county local authority area that are
responsible for delivering the governments drug strategy at a local level;
membership includes local authority, police, probation service, YOT, and
drug treatment providers. They are based within different statutory
departments, such as social services’ and primary care trusts and service
provision varies across local teams. Whilst some DAATs offer services for
young people exclusively, others offer support to familes and carers, which
includes parenting education workshops and groups aimed at supporting
parents whose children misuse drugs or alcohol. Those DAATS offering
holistic support would usually have a designated parent co-ordinator
resposible for parenting support. (www.drugs.gov.uk/dat/)
•
West Sussex DAAT in partnership with the local YOT and Children’s
Fund is able to refer parents whose children substance missue onto
parenting courses aimed at providing information, advice and support
which range from single one to one sessions to intensive six to ten
week courses.
Turning Point is the UK’s leading social care organisation that provides
services for people with complex needs, including those affected by drug and
alcohol misuse, mental health problems and those with learning disabilities.
Their services include but are not limited to: drug and alcohol services
including advice and education for young people rehabilitation services,
counselling, outreach work, and support services for friends and family
members and an outreach services for people with mental health problems
including emergency helplines and education and employment programmes.
Services are delivered throughout the UK. (www.turning-point.co.uk)
Turning Point Leeds. This Parenting Fund project provides support,
information and advice to parents whose children are using drugs and
alcohol and to addicted parents themselves. The project provides support to
parents in the form of:
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•
Group work - where parents attend together to discuss their worries
and share their experiences. Issues covered include drug/alcohol
education and awareness, patterns of drug use and anger
management. Parents can also develop coping strategies to deal with
their children's drug use and learn skills that will impact on their
child's behaviour.
•
Individual support - a Parent Support Worker provides emotional and
practical support for parents who need additional help to work
through issues such as the child's behaviour, lack of accurate
information, fear for their children, guilt, stigma and isolation.
•
Volunteer support - parents whose children are using drugs can be
trained to provide informal support to other parents who are
experiencing similar difficulties.
•
Activities - Turning Point also offers parents a range of activities
where they can spend time with their peers and, more importantly,
have leisure time away from the family situation. A regular timetable
of activities will include complementary therapies, relaxation
techniques and visits from other local organisations that provide
services that may be of use to parents.
Specialist services for delinquent or abused teens
Mothers against Violence (Manchester): This is one of many projects being
funded by the Connected Programme, which is part of the Home Office
strategy to tackle gun crime and gun culture. Aimed at working with
community groups around the issue of gun crime, local projects offer services
ranging from mentoring for young people, through to community events
aimed at bringing communities together. This particular project in
Manchester offers a twelve week parental programme offering effective ways
of parental engagement and support to disadvantaged young people.
Partners against crime: Although no longer running, this voluntary sector
project was delivered to parents of teenagers who were entering the youth
justice system and who were experiencing long term exclusion from school.
The course had two components that were delivered simultaneously; the first
component was a course for parents of teenagers, which involved modules on
the nature of adolescence years, the role and methods of communication to
name but a few. The second component was youth work carried out with the
teenagers. This involved activities which were put forward and constructive
alternatives to criminal activity. In addition to this therapeutic work was also
carried out regarding the teenagers’ offending behaviour.
Social Services: A variety of more generic family support services are coordinated by different statutory departments dependent upon the local
authority. These include support provided by social workers working
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through multi-agency teams who provide information and signposting to
families with children in need. In many areas, charities are commissioned to
manage the provision of this support through the recruitment and
secondment of appropriately skilled practitioners and professionals.
•
•
•
Social workers based within ‘Children’s Services’ work in conjunction
with a variety of voluntary and statutory services to ascertain the needs
of families and provide specialist support.
A number of local authorities have ‘Family Support Services’ often
based within Family Support Centres, which provide support to
children, young people, and families under stress. This can include a
variety of services including: counselling, befriending, training, dropin advice, telephone helplines.
‘Family Information Services’ often provide information to families
with children (from birth to nineteen) on a variety of local service
provision for both children and parents. This can include the
production of a service directory available in hard copy, and/or,
online. For an example see Cornwall’s CYPF Directory:
http://cornwall.childrensservicedirectory.org.uk/
Camborne Access Team. Social services offer a signposting service and run a
rolling program of ‘Surviving Your Teenager’ (see below) in different areas.
Youth Justice: Youth Offending Teams (YOTs) offer a range of support to
parents of children who are at risk of offending, or have currently offended.
The form of support differs depending upon the location, but typically
involves individual and group-based support and advice. Parents whose
children are involved with the youth justice system can be asked to
voluntarily attend a parenting programme run by either by a local Youth
Offending Team or contracted to an external agency (e.g. Parents for
Prevention; Nacro). If a parenting order has been issued attendance is a legal
requirement. These parenting programmes, which last approximately eight
weeks, aim to improve parents’ skills in dealing with their child’s problem
behaviour through the provision of practical support and one-to-one advice.
(www.youth-justice-board.gov.uk)
•
Living with Teenagers: The Relate education and training parenting
courses have in partnership with a Youth Offending Team, developed
a ‘Living with Teenagers’ parenting skills programme to meet the
requirements of Parenting Orders. Relate is delivering its ‘living with
teenagers’ course on behalf of YOTs across the UK.
Parenting Wisely. The Parenting Wisely intervention, developed in the US, is
currently being used by YOTs. It is a self-administered, computer-based
program aimed at teaching parents and their teenagers important skills for
combating risk factors for substance use and abuse. The Parenting Wisely
program works to reduce family conflict and child behaviour problems,
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including stealing, vandalism, defiance of authority, bullying, and poor
hygiene. Parenting Wisely can be used alone or in groups.
•
YJB Manchester Parenting Wisely: Urban Teens (UK): This is a newly
created version of Parenting Wisely that better represents an urban
environment and to more realistically portray the “in the face” speech
and body language typical of teenage behaviour. It uses the same
format as the original Parenting Wisely. The Parenting Wisely: Urban
Teens (UK) version is a highly interactive CDROM version, which
responds to individual choices.
Dorset Youth Offending Team - Living with Parents is a programme of
support offered to parents whose teenagers are involved with the Youth
Offending Team. The continuum of services available is described below.
•
Living with Parents is a group based course, which has been
specifically written for parents of young offenders
•
One-to-One support is delivered in parents’ homes over six or more
sessions. It is mainly for parents on Parenting Orders, those
encouraged to seek support by Magistrates’ and/or YJO’s, and those
with sons/daughters on Referral Orders where parenting support is
included in their contracts. The whole family may be involved in the
plan for change
•
Individual/couple cognitive behaviour multimedia programme:
Parenting Wisely as descried above. This service is targeted at single
fathers and can also be used in group settings
•
Individual/couple: Solution focussed brief therapy is offered when
parent’s needs must be addressed before they can focus on parenting.
It offers short-term intervention assisting participants to explore future
solutions as opposed to past problems
•
Mentoring – linking parent/carer with trained volunteer mentors who
can provide friendly guidance and support the development of skills
and knowledge.
•
Functional family therapy – involving the whole family to improve
communication and levels of support between family members.
Let's Talk Parenting (Northumbria Probation Service) is a course run by
Northumbria Probation Service, in conjunction with Sunderland's Youth
Offending Team. Developed for 'at risk' parents and their children, the course
is aimed at improving the functioning of families where there are young
people experiencing medium behavioral difficulties; before they have
progressed a substantial way along an offending career.
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Let's Talk Parenting Community Groups (Swindon): This course is run for
parents of adolescence who are at risk of or have in place Parenting Orders.
The service focuses on communication and building relationships and is
delivered for two hours a week over eight weeks.
Services for families living in poverty
Strengthening Families, Strengthening Communities (SFSC) is a
community based programme that addresses the needs of minority ethnic
families. Developed by the Racial Equality foundation (REF), it is based on the
Strengthening Multi-Ethnic Families and Communities Program developed in
the USA. In the UK it is delivered nationally through statutory and voluntary
organisations including Youth Offending Teams, social services and
education departments, and Children’s Centre. The curriculum is specifically
designed to promote some of the protective factors associated with 'good
parenting' and deals with factors associated with increased risk. The SFSC
parent programme is based on a strengths based 'facilitative model' that aims
to raise the consciousness of parents. In addition, the curriculum aims to help
families develop or promote: strong ethnic and cultural roots; positive
parent-child relationships; a range of life skills; self esteem, self-discipline,
social competence; and ability to access community resources. REF also
provides facilitator training which is experiential and involves facilitators
exploring the impact of culture and values on how they were raised and on
their own child rearing attitudes and behaviour. (www.reu.org.uk)
Facilitator training
The Family Matters Institute (FMI) is a national Christian educational charity
specialising in research and training programmes to strengthen
marriage/family life in Britain. They provide a generic facilitator skills
training workshops to support any parenting programme and, in association
with the Open College Network, FMI developed, Flat Pack Parent, an
accredited training course for those living, working with, and supporting
families of teenagers. (www.familymatters.org.uk)
•
Flat Pack Parent is a discussion pack (costing £19.95) which aims to get
the parents of pre-teens talking together (adult to adult) within a group
situation about some of the issues that will arise as children pass
through puberty to adolescence, and enable them to communicate
effectively.
Services for families with special educational needs
Parent Partnership Services are statutory services providing information,
advice and support for parents of children and young people with special
educational needs (SEN). This can involve practical support delivered to
parents either individually or in groups, advice on rights and responsibilities,
training courses and opportunities, as well as signposting to other services.
216
The majority of parent partnerships are run by the Local Education Authority
or Children’s Trust, although a number are also being run by voluntary sector
organisations. www.parentpartnership.org.uk
Heywood Parent Partnership Project: This project aims to raise the
aspirations both of pupils aged up to 16 and of their parents. Amongst the
different services available to parents is a course called 'Surviving your
teenager'
•
‘Surviving your teenager' covers areas like relationship skills,
behaviour management and dealing with adolescence, and involves
speakers such as a representative from a Youth Offending Team.
ADHD UK ALLIANCE: This organisation campaigns on issues concerning
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and seeks to educate the public and
consult the government on issues and policies which affect parents and
children with ADHD.
ADDISS (ADHD Information Services). This organisation provides
information and resources about ADHD to parents, sufferers, teachers and
healthcare professionals. It also offers training, a resources centre as well as
advising about local support groups.
Services for families with health problems
The NHS provides a range of physical and electronic services providing
support and information to parents of teenagers. This includes websites
developed in conjunction with other organisations (e.g.
www.childrenfirst.nhs.uk/) providing information on educational needs,
health issues, and child development.
217
Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS): CAMHS provide the
main primary service that undertake direct work with parents of teenagers
and are run by local Primary Care Trusts (PCTs). These aim to promote the
mental well-being of children and young people, providing multidisciplinary
mental health services to ensure effective assessment, treatment and support,
for young people and their families. Support for referred families often
includes counselling, family therapy, consultation and signposting.
•
Cornwall NHS Trust operates a ‘Family Support Service’ supporting
families referred with a child over the age of 14 experiencing psychosis.
Working closely with Child and Family Services, a team of mental
health professionals take a whole family approach to improving family
relations, developing behaviour strategies, and in gaining access to
appropriate services. Family meetings usually occur at fortnightly or
monthly intervals.
Parentline Plus (Oxfordshire): The Family Nurturing Network has merged
form Parentline Plus to improve the mental health of vulnerable parents and
children by providing a range of parenting education and family support
services. They are currently developing and piloting a whole family support
intervention for parents and their children aged ten to fourteen.
Parenting Matters (Buckinghamshire and London) has evolved from the
Webster Stratton course currently being delivered to parents of younger
children by trained health and educational professionals.
Open Door counselling for young people (London). Open door is a free and
confidential counselling and psychotherapy services for young people
between the ages of 13 and 25 living in North London. Service on offer
include the following:
•
Parent/Teen Brief Therapy Service provides short and long term
psychoanalytic psychotherapy to young people aged 12-24.
•
Parent Consultation Service is a service available for the parents of
teenagers and young adults and its main aim is make an early
intervention before a breakdown in the teenager’s life. This service is
flexible so as to address the needs of the parents. Six appointments are
provided with a qualified and experienced parent advisor, providing
time to talk about their feelings and help with assessing difficulties
with their teenager. Its aim is to provide an opportunity to explore
options and strategies to deal with their situation.
(www.opendooronline.org)
Tavistock Clinic. The Tavistock Clinic provides a range of services for
children, adolescents and families experiencing emotional or behavioural
difficulties or distress. (www.tavi-port.org)
218
•
The Adolescent Department sees people between the ages of 14 and 21
years, as well as parents and other family members. The clinic offers
assessment, brief consultation, individual psychotherapy (brief or
longer-term), family psychotherapy or group psychotherapy. In
addition to general therapy services for young people, specialist
departments include: Eating Disorders Service, Looked After
Adolescents Service, Trauma Service for Adolescents and Young
People, and a Young People's Consultation Service. Consultancy and
training on clinical work and service development is available to
statutory and voluntary sector workers.
•
Parents' Service offers a series of six appointments to parents having
difficulties with an adolescent or young person between 16 and 25.
The aim is to help parents (whether as a couple or a single parent) to
develop new perspectives on any difficult situation they face. Referrals
are taken by telephone.
•
Black Adolescents and Families Consultation Service is a brief
intervention delivered by specialists and designed to address specific
needs of young people from black and minority ethnic communities
and their families.
•
The Bangladeshi Service Child and Family Department: GPs, schools,
Social Services, voluntary agencies as well as other child and family
clinics, refer children and families for a wide range of problems. The
clinical work is mainly conducted through home visits, drop-ins at
health centres and family centres, and in schools; and families are
sometimes seen at the Tavistock clinic. They offer case consultation to
professionals working with Bangladeshi families and training to enable
primary care professionals to work with this community, and where
appropriate, to refer to the service.
Sexual Health
The Family Planning Association (fpa) is the UK's leading sexual health
charity working to improve the sexual health of all people throughout the UK.
It works with the public and professionals to ensure high quality information
and services are available to all users. (www.fpa.org.uk)
•
Speakeasy is a group-based course for parents and carers to acquire the
confidence and skills to talk to their children about sex and sexuality. It
is locally organised and can link with educational, community and/or
health provisions in a particular area. Although not specifically
targeted at parents of teenagers the course deals with a wide range of
issues including parenting teenagers. Parent and carer courses are
running in many other areas of the country through parenting centres
whose staff have been trained by fpa.
219
220
221
Appendix 2: Topic guide for in-depth interviews with
professionals in the voluntary and statutory sectors
P179 Supporting Parents of Teenagers
Phase 1: Interviews with personnel in the voluntary and
statutory sectors
The organisation
1. What is the primary purpose of your organisation?
2. What is your role within the organisation?
3. What does your organisation do to support the parents or carers of
teenagers? (Provision of information, direct services, parenting courses
etc)
4. How do families find out about your organisation?
5. How do they access your services?
6. What are the main reasons parents might have for accessing your
service?
7. What information do you rely on to understand the needs of parents of
teenagers?
8. (Ask if appropriate) You publish a list of organisations that can provide
information and support to parents. How was this list developed?
9. (Ask if appropriate) You publish information for families with teenaged
children. What guided the development of this information? How did
you determine which topics were relevant?
The needs of parents of teenagers
10. In general, what do you consider to be the primary concerns that
parents have about their teenaged children?
11. Given that some of these concerns may exist over a period of time,
what do think are the events/situations that trigger contact?
12. Do you think there might be occasions when parents would like help
but don’t know where to access it?
222
13. If yes, what more could be done to advertise services?
14. Do you think there might be occasions which are not a crisis when
parents could do with help – particularly with information or advice–
but are not aware that it is available to them?
15. What do you see as the main ways in which parents like to receive
support (written information, information on the internet, individual
work with an adviser/counsellor, group work etc)?
16. In your view, are any of these methods particularly suitable for certain
groups? Prompt: for minority ethnic parents, single parents, parents
of disabled children, parents of children in trouble with the criminal
justice system. Which methods work for which groups?
17. Are there any methods which you think are less successful when it
comes to supporting parents? Prompt: Which methods don’t work for
which of the above groups?
18. From your knowledge, do you think that parents prefer to receive
services through the voluntary sector or the statutory sector? Why?
19. Can you provide some examples of good practice in supporting the
parents of teenagers?
20. Can you give an example of an effective universal service? (Explain
‘universal’ if necessary)
21. What, specifically, makes this service(s) effective?
22. Can you provide me with an example of an effective targeted service?
(Explain ‘targeted’ if necessary)
23. What, specifically, makes this service(s) effective?
24. Can you give me an example of a service that you think is particularly
innovative? Prompt: Why do you think that?
Future provision
25. What are your organisation’s priorities for future development in
supporting parents of teenagers?
26. How do you think services for the parents of teenagers could be
improved? (Both generally and specifically)
223
27. Where do you think the main gaps in services for parents of teenagers
are?
28. What informs this opinion?
29. In your opinion, what more could the Government do to support those
who would like help in dealing with their teenaged children?
224
225
Appendix 3: Topic guides for telephone interviews with
frontline staff, strategic staff and stakeholders
POLICY
RESEARCH
PRB P179
Services supporting the parents of teenagers
Telephone interview with frontline staff
This is a copy of the questionnaire we will be using in the telephone
interview. We thought it might be helpful for you to have sight of it in
advance. The first questions are about your service specifically. The later
questions are about support for the parents of teenagers generally.
Please do not send it back to us: a member of the research team will be in
touch with you shortly to complete the form over the telephone.
If you have any queries please contact Judy Corlyon or Kirsten Asmussen
at the Policy Research Bureau on 0207 562 8210 or 0207 562 8209. Or
email: [email protected] or [email protected]
Name of service:
Person interviewed:
Interviewer:
Date:
226
UREAU
The service
1. Which area(s) does your service cover (for example, a town or ward)
2. Is this a local organisation or part of a national one?
If national: Which one?
Are there similar services to this one run in other parts of the
country?
3. As well as this service for the parents of teenagers, does your organisation
run other services for parents, teenagers, or other specific groups?
4. Who are the main users of your service (for example, any parents of
teenagers or those with specific problems)?
o
o
o
All parents of teenagers
All parents and their teenage children
Specific groups of parents (eg lone parents, parents in BME groups)
Which ones?
o
Parents of teenagers with specific problems (eg substance abuse)
Which ones?
5. What is the primary reason for parents using your service?
6a. Are users referred by other people/agencies?
Yes o
No
o
Yes o
No
o
If yes, by whom?
6b. Do they (also) refer themselves?
If yes, how would they get to know about your service?
7. Is the service delivered through
(tick as appropriate)
a. One-to-one work with parents?
o
b. Group work with parents?
o
c. Information sharing/dissemination?
o
d. Internet/database?
o
227
o
e. Other method(s)?
Please specify _____________________________________________
If one-to-one work:
How many parents used the service between the beginning of January and
the end of April this year?
When (i.e. at what times) does the service operate?
What made you decide on those times?
If group work:
How many groups were run between the beginning of January and the end of
April this year?
How many parents attended these courses?
In what proportion of cases were these both parents?
(If relevant) how many teenagers attended with a parent?
When (i.e. at what times) are the courses run?
What made you decide on those times?
Do you think these times are suitable for all parents?
How many more courses will you run (or estimate that you will run) during
the rest of this year?
What will dictate whether these run or not?
If internet based:
Do you know how many people have accessed the site?
8. Is this service delivered:
At only one specific site or centre?
or
In various locations?
Yes
o
Yes o
9. Does the service produce any of the following outputs/products designed
to help the parents of teenagers (tick as appropriate)
a. Information e.g. leaflets, flyers about this service
Yes
o
No o
b. Videos/ CD Roms
Yes
o
No o
c. Internet website
Yes
o
No o
or other services for parents of teenagers
228
d. Books or information for parents to borrow
Yes
o
No o
e. Anything else
Yes
o
No o
Please specify _________________________________________________
Staffing
10. How many of your staff are:
a. Paid and full time
b. Paid and part time
c. Volunteers (unpaid)
d. Local people who live in the community
11. For paid staff:
a. How many of your staff have permanent contracts?
b. How many of your staff are on fixed term and/or sessional contracts?
12. For volunteers (if relevant)
a. On what basis do you select volunteers?
b. How many of your volunteers are parents who have accessed your
service?
13. Have you experienced any difficulties in recruiting either paid or unpaid
staff for this particular service?
No o
Yes
o
Please could you say a bit more about this?
14. Have you experienced any difficulties in retaining the staff?
No o
Yes
o Please could you say a bit more about this
15a. How many of your current staff received or are receiving training
specifically for work in supporting parents of teenagers?
229
15b. What is the training?
Quality assessment and evaluation
16. Do you currently have any procedures for monitoring quality assessment,
or do you plan to have them in the future?
Currently
o go to 16a.
In the future
o go to 16b.
No o go to 17.
16a. What are these procedures?
16b. What will these procedures be?
17. Has the service been evaluated?
Yes
o Request copy
No o
Are there plans to evaluate (again) in the future?
Support for parents of teenagers
18. What would you consider to be the main issues for parents of teenagers in
transition?
19. From your experience of working with them, when do you think parents
of teenagers are most likely to need support services?
20 .Which factors are most likely to deter them from accessing services?
21. What are the main barriers that you face in providing support to parents
with teenagers?
22. What are the main factors that help you in provision of this support?
230
23. What do you consider to be the most effective means of assisting parents
of teenagers e.g. universal v targeted; therapeutic v preventative?
24. Where do you see the main gaps in provision of support for parents of
teenagers?
25. What more do you think could be done to increase effective service
delivery – either by your own service or by other services?
Finally: We are also wanting to talk to one or two stakeholders – people from
outside who have an interest or involvement in your service – and to the
person with strategic responsibility for your service. Could you tell us who
might be the most appropriate people to contact?
231
POLICY
RESEARCH
PRB P179
Services supporting the parents of teenagers
Telephone interview with strategic personnel
This is a copy of the questionnaire we will be using in the telephone
interview. We thought it might be helpful for you to have sight of it in
advance. The first questions are about your service specifically. The later
questions are about support for the parents of teenagers generally.
Please do not send it back to us: a member of the research team will be in
touch with you shortly to complete the form over the telephone.
If you have any queries please contact Judy Corlyon or Kirsten Asmussen
at the Policy Research Bureau on 0207 562 8210 or 0207 562 8209. Or
email: [email protected] or [email protected]
Name of service:
Person interviewed:
Interviewer:
Date:
232
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The organisation and service
1. What is your role within the organisation? (Explore links with parent body, if
relevant)
2. As well as this service for the parents of teenagers, does your organisation
run other services for parents, teenagers, or other specific groups?
3. What made you (or others) decide to run this service?
4. How effective do you think it is in meeting the needs of parents of
teenagers?
5. What are the main barriers that you face in providing support to parents
with teenagers?
6. What are the main factors that help you in providing this support?
7. Do you work in partnership with or are you sub-contracted to other local
services?
Yes
o
No o
If yes, which one(s)
8. Do you belong to local networks which provide or have an interest in
services to parents?
Yes
o
No o
If yes, which one(s)
Funding and sustainability
9. How much (even approximately) does this service cost to run on an annual
basis?
10. Is there a charge to parents for using the service?
Yes
o
No o
How much?
233
11. Who is/are the main funder(s)?
12. Do you have secured funding to run the service? Yes
o
No o
If yes, from where?
for how long?
If no, how will you continue to fund the service?
(Check for named sources)
13. What are your plans for the next three years?
a. Expand
o
b. Contract
o
c. Stay the same
o
d. Diversify (offer other services)
o
14. Could other organisations and support services assist your service for
parents of teenagers e.g. through funding, training, stakeholding, referring?
Explore
Support for parents of teenagers
15. When do you think parents of teenagers are most likely to need support
services?
16. What would you consider to be the main issues for parents of teenagers in
transition?
17. What do you think are the most effective means of letting parents know
about existing services?
18. Which factors are most likely to deter them from accessing services?
19. What kind of services do you think best help parents of teenagers – for
example, those that are for all parents (universal) or those for specific groups
234
of parents or particular issues (targeted)? Those that aim to prevent problems
arising or those that help parents once problems have arisen?
20. What more do you think could be done to increase effective service
delivery locally – either by your own organisation or by others?
21. Where do you see the main gaps in provision of support for parents of
teenagers, locally and nationally?
22. What more do you think could be done to increase provision?
23. Do you consider that services to support the parents of teenagers are best
delivered by the statutory or voluntary sector, or both? Explore
24. How could support for parents with teenagers be integrated into wider
service provision, for example, in extended schools, PCTs or Children’s
Centres?
25. What more could the Government do to help services such as yours which
aim to support the parents of teenagers?
235
POLICY
RESEARCH
UREAU
PRB P179
Services supporting the parents of teenagers
Telephone interview with stakeholders
This is a copy of the questionnaire we will be using in the telephone
interview. We thought it might be helpful for you to have sight of it in
advance. The first questions are about your service and its links with (name
of service). The later questions are about support for the parents of teenagers
generally.
Please do not send it back to us: a member of the research team will be in
touch with you shortly to complete the form over the telephone.
If you have any queries please contact Judy Corlyon or Kirsten Asmussen
at the Policy Research Bureau on 0207 562 8210 or 0207 562 8209. Or
email: [email protected] or [email protected]
Name of service:
Person interviewed:
Interviewer:
Date:
236
Your organisation
1. What is the nature of your organisation’s work?
2. Is it a voluntary or statutory organisation?
3. Does it have any specific involvement or interest in supporting parents of
teenagers?
4. Do you work in partnership with or are you sub-contracted to other local
services?
Yes
o
No o
If yes, which one(s)?
5. What is your role within the organisation?
6. How long have you held this position?
7. Do you belong to local networks which provide or have an interest in
services to parents?
Yes
o
No o
If yes, which one(s)
8. What are your links with/involvement in (name of service)?
Explore:
Joint working
Funding
Referrals to or from (name of service)
Training
9. How long have these been established?
10. How effective do you think (name of service) is in meeting the needs of
parents of teenagers?
11. What do you think are the main barriers that services such as this face in
providing support to parents with teenagers?
12. What are the main facilitators of the provision of such support?
13. What more, if anything, do you think could be done to enhance their
service provision?
237
14. What more, if anything, do you think could be done to enhance their
service delivery?
Support for parents of teenagers
15. What would you consider to be the main issues for parents of teenagers in
transition?
16. When do you think parents of teenagers are most likely to need support
services?
17. What do you think are the most effective means of letting parents know
about existing services?
18. Which factors are most likely to deter them from accessing services?
19. What do you consider to be the most effective means of assisting parents
of teenagers e.g. universal or targeted services; therapeutic or preventative?
20. What more do you think could be done to increase effective service
delivery locally – either by your own organisation or by others?
21. Where do you see the main gaps in provision of support for parents of
teenagers, locally and nationally?
22.What more do you think could be done to increase provision?
23. Do you consider that services to support the parents of teenagers are best
delivered by the statutory or voluntary sector, or both? Explore
24. How could support for parents with teenagers be integrated into wider
service provision, for example, in extended schools, PCTs or Children’s
Centres?
25. What more could the Government do to help services such as (name of
service) which aim to support the parents of teenagers.
238
239
Appendix 4: Topic guide for in-depth interviews with
service providers
POLICY
RESEARCH
PRB P179
Services supporting the parents of teenagers
Interviews with frontline staff
Location:
Unique identifier of respondent:
Interviewer:
Date:
The objective of the interview is to build on the information already obtained
in the telephone interviews and to clarify and gain further information on any
issues arising. It will also provide illustrative, anonymised examples of cases
where the intervention did and did not help parents.
240
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1. What is the main aim of your service?
2. What is the theory which underlies this?
3. Do you have clear idea of how you’re going to achieve it? (Trying here to get
at a clearly articulated model of the predicted mechanism of change.)
4. Do you have specific objectives that can be measured in some way?
5. Do you provide taster sessions for parents, or engage with them in some
way, before they start using the service?
6. What is the average length of time that parents have to wait before they can
access your service?
7. Have you considered providing the service at other times – either in
addition to or instead of current times?
If yes:
Why?
What would prevent you from doing so?
8. In delivering your service, do you use a manual?
If yes, do you use it so that you’re always delivering the central part of it, even
if other parts of it change to suit the audience? (Trying here to get at integrity of
core programme)
9. If you collect feedback from users, do you utilise any of their suggestions to
refine the service?
10. If a local project: are people delivering the service drawn from the local
community?
Do you think this is important? Explore
11. How do you establish a good working relationship with parents?
12. Do you try to take into account the individual circumstances of parents, or
is this a generic service which is the same for all parents?
13. Do you consider that the service is sufficiently well-staffed to enable it to
be effective in meeting parents’ needs?
If no: What would be the optimum number of staff?
What prevents you from having this number?
241
14. On a scale of 1 to 5, where 5 is very good and 1 is poor, how would you
rate the professional support that is available to you?
Discuss
15. Using the same scale, how would you rate the quality of management you
receive?
Discuss
16. What is the main source of training for professionals working with the
parents of teenagers?
17. Is the training adequate – in terms of a) its availability b) its length and c)
refresher courses?
18. How do you think that services for parents of teenagers could be better
publicised?
19. Are there any parents , or groups of parents, who you think would benefit
from a service such as yours but don’t use one?
If yes:
Which one(s)?
What do you think prevents them from using a service?
What more could be done to encourage them?
20. Do services for parents of teenagers provide sufficient coverage to reflect
the needs of all parents and the different issues and times of transition that
they face?
If no:
Which are the main areas of unmet need?
21. On which occasions – if at all - would you think it was suitable to include
teenagers as service users alongside parents ?
22. Do you think that services for the parents of teenagers should be provided
by the voluntary or statutory sector, or both?
23. Do you think it would appeal to parents of teenagers if services for them
were delivered in locations such as Children’s Centres or Extended Schools,
or other centres in the community? Why/why not?
24. How can other organisations help promote services for parents of
teenagers e.g. through financial support, training, referring?
25. Finally, could you describe to me one case – without giving names- where
you think that the parent(s) gained particular benefit from using your service
and one case where they appeared not to benefit. Discuss reasons
242
243
Appendix 5: Topic guide for in-depth interviews with
parents
POLICY
RESEARCH
PRB P179
Services supporting the parents of teenagers
Interviews with service users (parents)
Location:
Unique identifier of respondent:
Interviewer:
Date:
The objective of the interview is to identify how parents knew about the
service, why and when they used it, how they identified their need for
support, the elements of practice and delivery which worked (or did not
work) for them, the costs to them in terms of time and money, the benefits
they gained, and any gaps in provision which they would have liked to be
met.
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A. Background information
1. First of all, could you tell me about your family? (Parents, names and ages
of children)
2. I’d like to ask you some questions about (name of service/intervention
used).
When did you use this service (dates and over what period of time)
3. Was it just yourself who attended or yourself and the father/mother of
(name of child)? If only mother, ask what, if anything, would have got father to
attend
4. Was (name of child) also involved?
B. Before use
1. What were the main reasons you had for accessing the service? Probe
triggers etc Very important to get all info on this
2. When did you begin to feel that having some help/support/information
might be helpful?
3. Did you know where to go for help/support/information?
4. Did you refer yourself or did someone else refer you?
Explore what happened in referral process
5. How did you find out about this service?
6. Had you received any help or information about parenting/the specific
problem from anywhere else before you came to this service?
If yes, explore what; where from; why; whether helped
7. Did you have any anxiety about being judged? (Explore stigma of attending
course, seeking help with parenting)
8. Did you experience any difficulties in accessing the service: e.g. long
waiting times, physical access, expense, childcare for younger children?
245
9. What were your expectations of the service in terms:
• The person/people running in it
• Other participants
• What would happen
• What you might not like
• What you might come away with (eg improved skills, coping
mechanisms, information, advice, ideas to try out).
C. During use
1. Were the times convenient for you?
2. When you first used the service, what were your initial impressions of:
• The venue (if appropriate)
• The person/people running in it
• Other participants (if appropriate)
3. Did you change your mind about any of these by the end of the
course/intervention?
4. Could you describe what happened there:
• How many sessions/how much contact
• What you did, e.g. –
o were talked to
o had open discussions
o had 1-1 conversations with staff
o had 1-1 conversations with other parents
o had small group discussions
o watched video
o did role play
• What you talked about
5. (If a course) was there a manual/booklet that you were working through?
If yes: What did you think of it?
6. Did you think that you were listened to by the person/people running the
service?
7. Did you feel that they took note of your own circumstances/ the things that
were troubling you specifically?
246
8. While you were using this service, did anything change:
• in your teenager’s behaviour/problems
• in your own behaviour towards him/her
• in your attitudes
• in your ability to cope (with the problem/with him or her)
9. Did you get any written information to keep?
If yes, how helpful was this? Explore whether referred to subsequently
10. Did you get information about other services that you could access?
Explore whether accessed and how helpful
11. Overall, what did you like most about the service?*
12. What did you like least?
13. What did you find most helpful?
14. What did you find least helpful?
15. Is there anything you would like to have been done differently?
D. After use
1. How much would you say you spent accessing the service in:
• time? What would you have been doing with this time otherwise?
• money? Cost of course, travel expenses, child care etc
2. Did you think the amount you paid for the course was about right?
If it was free, would you have been willing to pay for the course?
What is the maximum amount you would have paid?
3. What (if anything) changed after you’d used this service?
Explore: knowledge; attitudes; behaviour; skills
Questions 11/13 and 12/14 appear to overlap – so I‘ve tended to ask q11 and then –
‘is this the thing that you also found most helpful, or was that something else?’ And
then the same for q12 – whether the thing they liked least was also the most unhelpful.
(JC)
*
247
Prompt:
Improved supervision and monitoring of child’s
activities
Yes
Reduction in frequency of conflict and better approaches
o
No o
to handling conflict
Better relationships – more praise and approval,
Yes
o
No o
less criticism and loss of temper
Yes
No o
Feeling more able to influence child’s behaviour
Yes
Improved communication with child
Yes
Feeling better able to cope with parenting generally
Yes
o
o
o
o
No o
No o
No o
4. Did any of these have a lasting effect?
If yes, explore how long, if still continuing etc
5. What do you feel has helped you most from using the service?
6. Is there anything you would have liked the service to provide that it didn’t?
7. Overall, did the service do what you had hoped it would do (i.e. were
original expectations met)?
8. Would you recommend the service to other parents?
If yes,
Any particular (groups of) parents?
9. What would you have done if this service hadn’t been available?
248
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