Download Human Sexuality Dr. J.T.Greco Chapter four: Love and

Human Sexuality
Dr. J.T.Greco
Chapter four: Love and Communication
I. What is love?
A. Sternberg-Pyramid Theory
a. Elements of Love
1. Passion-a physiological response
2. Committment-agreement the relationship is valued
3. Intimacy-Emotional and Psychological
b. types of love
1. Pure love-encompases all elements
2. Imperfect love-something is missing.
a. Romantic-passion and intimacy
b. Traditional-Intimacy and Committment
c. Fatuos-Committment and passion.
B. Presumes love could be asses by a statistical technique.
a. Factor analysis could discern factors or elements.
b. Acknowledges everyone has their own definition-so communicate.
II. Intimate Communication
A. Assumes physical and cultural proximity-field of eligibles
B. Communication Media
1. Spoken
a. Choice of words
b. Tone of voice
c. Rate of speech
d. Stress or emphasis
e. gestures
f. body language
g. eye contact
2. Tactile
a. Proximity between communicators
b. Rate of touch
c. Pressure intensity of contact (grip or tap)
d. Placement of touch
e. Permission-presumed or permitted?
f. Rarity-how many and how often
3. Written language and imagry
a. Printed or written words.
b. Punctuation replaces stress and tone.
c. Brevity may reflect impatience, desperation or reliance upon physicl contact.
C. Social Guidelines
1. Gender scripts-masculine and feminine
2. Ethical concerns, siciopolitical repercussions.
D. Self knowledge-Do you know what you want? What are you getting into?
E. Poor communication warning signs:
1. Criticism-Blaming as apposed to constructive complaint.
2. Contempt-Personal attacks, hidden feelings.
3. Defensiveness-No longer hears
4. Stonewalling-Shut out-control by escapism
III. Relationship Quality
A. Ten reasons relationships end
1. Lack Self Knowledge
2. Accepts Love Mythes
3. Poor communication
4. Power Inbalance: One makes all decisions, or one has all responsibility.
5. Insecurity
6. Isolation
7. Dishonesty
8. Jealousy
9. Control Issues
10. Abusive, Dysfunctional interactions
a. Types of abuse
1. physical
2. verbal
3. emotional
b. Abuse cycle
1. Start relationship, very romantic
2. Tension builds, poor coping exhibits.Often includes control and
isolation
3. Explosion, emotional problem displayed.
4. Penance and idealistic reconsiliation
c. Resolution
1. Leave with help
2. Maintain extermal support to stay away
3. Learn about one's own abandonment issues before trying another
relationship.
B. The Three Horsemen of Relationships (another view of why relationships fail).
a. Jealousy
b. Anger
c. Neglect
IV. Dr.G's Questions:
A. So did you take over or was it dumped on you?
a. Control Freak
b. Passive Aggressive
B. What would happen to you if you changed?
a. Are you stuck or controlling?
b.What are you afraid of (really)?