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Interpersonal Communication Portfolio Professor Baldinger 4/24/2015 Alfredo Molestina Chapter 1 A first look at interpersonal communication Communication is a continuous, transactional process involving participants who occupy different but overlapping environments and create a relationship by simultaneously sending and receiving messages, many of which are distorted by physical and psychological noise. There are four things that make you an effective communicator: 1. 2. 3. 4. Competence is situational Competence is relational Competence can be learned There is no ideal way to communicate Some good points of competence in interpersonal communication are: Motivation Open-mindness Knowledge and skill Tolerance for ambiguity Reasons of why we communicate: Identity needs Social needs Practical needs Physical needs Cultural Analysis Ecuador The Ecuadorian is known as they prefer to deal with those they trust, they take time to build a relationships and it usually takes several visits to accomplish a simple task. To avoid any cross cultural miscommunication, the Ecuadorian always make sure you have all the paper work material in both, English and Spanish, they don’t like to disagree. Personal relationships are extremely important, as always men tend to bring the income to the house, while the women usually assume the caregiver role. Chapter #2 Communication and Identity: Creating and Presenting the Self Self-concept: the relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself. Self-schema: a generalization about self, derived from past experience that organizes and guides your understanding of the information you learn about yourself. Two or three adjectives that best describe: Moods or feelings: amused, content, moody. Appearance: Light skin, curly hair, dark green eyes. Strong beliefs: Catholic, and live every day as it was the last one. Talents: Soccer, hard-worker. Personality traits: Introversion, loyalty, emotional maturity. Characteristics of self-concept: Subjective: – Myth of perfection – Social expectations – Based on culture: Individualistic Emphasis in individual goal’s “I” identity Say what you are thinking – – – Collectivist: Emphasis on in-group’s goal’s “We” identity Avoid confrontations in in-group In the self-concept the collectivist is based on my culture, people tend to emphasis on in-group, people mention “we” as an identity. Is very important to fit or be part of group. Ecuadorians try to don’t have confrontation with members of the same group. Low Self-Esteem Likely to disagree with others Except to be reject by others Performs poorly while being watched High Self-Esteem Likely to think well of others Expect to be accepted by others Performs well, while being watched Cultural Analysis In Ecuador, there is a Turkish culture. Is not a big amount of people but they are very rich people, most of them are owners of the biggest companies in Ecuador. They tend to be very exclusive with people they hang out; normally they hang out with other Turkish. They are people with lots of power in my country; very recognize people but not really friendly. Chapter 3 Perception Is the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. The perception process is divided in interpretation, negotiation, selection and organization. Interpretation Attitudes Expectation Knowledge Relational satisfaction Negotiation Stories people tell to influence another’s perspective Shared narratives don’t have to be accurate to be powerful Narratives may clash Narratives may enhance relationships Selection Novel Size Different color Brightest Organization Stereotyping Punctuation Social roles Appearance Common tendencies in perception • • • • We judge ourselves more charitably than others. We pay more attention to others’ negative characteristics. We are influenced by the obvious. We cling to first impressions. The pillow method. Position 1. - I am right, you are wrong. Position 2. - I am wrong, you are right. Position 3. - Both right, both wrong. Position 4. - It is not important. Position 5. - There is truth in all perspectives. Chapter 4 Emotions: Thinking, feeling, and communicating What exactly is an emotion? "An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive response." (Hockenbury & Hockenbury, 2007) Types of emotions: Primary Anticipation Joy Acceptance Fear Sadness Anger Surprise Secondary Anticipation and joy: Optimist Joy and acceptance: Love Acceptance and fear: Submission Fear and surprise: Awe Surprise and sadness: Disappointment Disgust and anger: Contempt Anger and anticipation: Aggressiveness Influences on emotional expression: Personality Culture: Happiness sadness, surprise, anger disgust, fear. Gender: Women are more likely than men to express feelings of fear, sadness, loneliness, and embarrassment. Men instead reveals strengths and positive emotions. Social conventions: Discourages the direct expression of most emotions. Fear of self-disclosure: Emotional honesty makes people uncomfortable. Guidelines for expressing emotions: Recognize your feelings Recognize the difference between feeling, talking, and acting. Expand your emotional vocabulary o Avoid emotional counterfeits Express verbally Use single words Describe what is happening to you Avoid minimizing your feelings Share mixed feelings Pick the best spot and moment to express your feelings Cultural Analysis In Ecuador men tend to have a reserved attitude while we are talking about express feelings, men are most likely to keep their thoughts for them and don’t express verbally what they are feeling. Women are the ones that usually start the talks or questions about what is happening. Chapter 6 Nonverbal Communication Non-verbal communications is the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless (mostly visual) cues between people. They include facial expressions, the tone and pitch of the voice, gestures displayed through body language (kinesics) and the physical distance between the communicators (proxemics). Nonverbal Communication serves as many functions: Repeating When someone asks for directions, you often repeat your answer with gesture Complementing Expressions that match thoughts and emotions Substituting When someone ask “What’s up?” you may just shrug your shoulders Accenting Nonverbal Devices in oral messages: It was your idea! Regulating: Influencing the flow of nonverbal communication Contradicting: Sending mixed messages Types of nonverbal: • • • • • • • Body movement Face and eyes Voice Appearance Time Touch Physical space Influences of nonverbal communication: Gender Some differences are physiological Some differences are rooted in socialization More similar than different Culture Cultures have different nonverbal languages Subtle differences can damage relationships Distance and eye contact varies around the world Cultural Analysis Ecuadorians use their hands for many things, most Ecuadorians are known for making gestures when they speak because it helps others to understand what they are saying. The women in Ecuador stand tall and show a lot of confidence in themselves. If they don’t stand tall other will think they are depressed. People are very direct while saying delicate things. Chapter 7 1. What keeps you from being an effective listener? What can you do to overcome this tendency? The biggest problems I have always had while I am listening are the external noises and effort. I am the kind of person that can easily find a distraction during a speech or when the teacher is explaining something. Most of the times I try to be focus but it usually just last for five minutes and then I start looking at my phone or start overthinking about whatever it comes to my mind at the moment. I feel like the best solutions to these problems could be turning off my phone before the speaker starts and also put more effort in getting engage in the topic. 2. Describe the style of listening you use most often when helping others. How successful are these styles? What makes them successful or unsuccessful? What might you do to increase your effectiveness as a helpful listener? I think the style of listening that I use the most is analyzing. Is very important to analyze what the speaker says instead of just receipt the whole information as a fact, is good to have your point of view and interpret it the way you feel. It makes it very successful because you can have your ideas but it could also be unsuccessful sometimes because there could be some information that is a fact and we can’t change so if we also analyze that we might get it wrong and make a mistake. I think what I can improve is pay more attention and try to understand everything to have an idea of what could be or not a fact, also by paying attention you can ask questions that will probably determine what you get of the speech, class, or whatever you are listening to. Chapter 8 Communication and Relational Dynamics Intimacy is being close. Why we form relationships? Appearance Is especially important in the early stages Partners create “Positive illusions”, viewing another as more attractive over time. Similarity We like people who is similar to us Similarity is more important to relational happiness than communication ability Complementarily Reciprocal Attraction Differences strengthen relationships when We like people who like us – usually they are complementary Each partner’s characteristics satisfy the People who approve of us, bolster our selfother’s needs steem Competence We like to be around talented people Disclosure Revealing information about yourself can help to build liking If a person is too talent it can be difficult to be Not all disclosure leads to liking around them because they make us look bad Self disclosure in relationships, the process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and would not be normally known. Degrees from self-disclosure: Cliches Facts Opinions Feelings Why we form relationships? • Proximity • • • We are likely to develop relationships with people we interact with frequently Allows us to get more information about other people and benefit from relationship Rewards • Social Exchange Theory • Relationships that give us rewards greater than or equal to the costs of the relationship