Download True Image of a Godly Woman

Recapturing Biblical Manhood & Womanhood
2013
Recapturing a True Image of a Godly Woman: Part 2
Various Passages
Some Ground Rules for the next 3 weeks:
 Stay away from extremes –
 Principles over rules –
 Broad vs narrow application –
 The Gospel Rules
 The Overall Goal
I.
A Woman’s True Identity: Created by God; Newly Created in Christ
The original intent - Genesis 1:26-27
Where it all went wrong - Genesis 3:1-16
How it has been redeemed - 2 Cor. 5:17
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A. Her new identity brings new reality (2 Cor. 5:17).
New reality in Christ means we have the means to overcome our sin nature –
New reality in Christ means we have the means to overcome anything in our past –
B. Her new identity brings new security (1 John 4:7-12)
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II.
Our new security means we can rest in Christ’s love – Remember, this means banking on God's
love for us, not on our love for Him, as He demonstrated His love by the substituitionary death
of Jesus for us. You are loved today not because you loved Him, but because He loved you!
Our new security sheds light on false security – We are infinitely loved and accepted by the God
of this universe...that will never change, lessen, or go away. We do not need to seek artificial
substitutes for love from things that cannot ultimately satisfy (marriage, kids, career), but can
take those things for what they are: gifts from a sovereign, glorious, good giver.
A Woman’s True Modesty: To be seen by God and to love others
A. Modesty is clothed in fearful respect (1 Tim. 2:9-10)
1 Timothy 2:9-10 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with
modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is
proper for women who profess godliness- with good works.
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Modesty has fear for God, respect for self and others –
Modesty understands cultural norms and seeks to abide by them – This does not mean defined
by them or bound to them, but dressing and acting appropriately means one understands what
is offensive and what is immodest in any given culture.
Modesty finds its greatest expression in good works, not looks – A mature woman does not
struggle as much with how she looks because she understands that life is not about her and she
is not attempting to impress others with her dress.
B. Modesty is robed in strength & dignity (Prov. 31:17,25)
Proverbs 31:17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.
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Proverbs 31:25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
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III.
Though modesty means humility, it does NOT mean weakness –
Modesty is known for dignity of character, NOT a flirtatious nature –
A Woman’s True Beauty: To glorify God and become more like Jesus
A. True Beauty is not simply skin deep (1 Pet. 3:3-4)
1 Peter 3:3 Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting
on of clothing- 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty
of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
 Biblical beauty is not adverse to physical adornment, but does not camp there –
The call here is not that a woman should dress in rags, but the fact that women should dress
appropriately and for the occasion. The issue is not the dress itself but the purpose behind it. If women
were dressing in a certain way to try to be noticed, or to try to draw undue attention, it would go
beyond the proper bounds.
 Biblical beauty is always inside out –
There is a beautiful phrase here that every woman should listen to carefully, no matter your age. The
adornment of true beauty is the inner person of the heart. The One who sees this is God Himself. God
is not impressed with trendy, audacious, or revealing dress, but is absolutely looking at that quality of a
woman that CANNOT be seen by people. In God’s view and in His eyes, the woman who displays a
gentle and quiet Spirit is GORGEOUS. Again, this does not mean weakness or one who never speaks,
but one who does not need to draw attention to herself, one who wants God to see her, not others.
This type of beauty is IMPERISHABLE, which means it will not go away, but will abide forever.
NOTE: Every woman here needs to know today, right now, that you are beautiful in the eyes of your
Savior, because He crafted you, made you, knit you together exactly the way he wanted to, and He does
not make mistakes. Your beauty can grow, and is no longer defined the way our culture defines it, by
fleeting measurements and fashion. Delight in how God made you, and revel in the unique qualities
that God, in His grace, bestowed on you.
B. True Beauty is long lasting, not fleeting (Prov. 31:30)
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
 Physical Beauty is there for a time, does not last, thus is a vain pursuit –
A Godly woman (and thus Godly men) understand that to pursue physical beauty as a high pursuit is
vanity, it is a chasing after the wind. It is an immature woman (and man) who puts great value on
physical appearance. This does not mean physical appearance is not important in a marriage
relationship (again, read Song of Solomon to see it is; Song of Solomon 2:2-7; 4:1-16), but physical
appearance is the least pursued quality when it comes to true beauty. If character, personality, and
physical appearance were charted out on a graph, one would have the ability to go up (character), on
would stay flat (personality), and one would only go down (physical appearance). The irony of this
chart: I have found that my wife becomes more physically beautiful in my eyes as her character in the
Lord continues to grow. As I see her grow in the Lord, becoming more like Jesus, her physical attributes
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become more and more appealing. The problem is: we usually invert this chart, to the detriment of men
and women.
 A woman of character is to be praised, because she has pursued wisely –
A Biblical woman of true beauty, who is mature in Christ, understands that true beauty comes when she
exercises wisdom. Wisdom comes from the fear of the Lord. She understands that what God desires is
ultimate, what man desires is mildly interesting. A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised because
this woman is the woman who God sees as beautiful, who we hope our daughters become, and hope
our sons find.
IV.
A Woman’s True Vitality: A Worker in the Home (Prov. 31:10-24; Titus 2:5)
A woman's role in the home has been given over to extremes by the church throughout different ages
and different cultures. In our culture today, there is high level confusion as to what the Bible means and
intends with a woman as a worker in the home. However the Bible never shies away from the fact that
a woman has a vital role in the family structure, and as a man has a role as leader in his home (with
overall management of it - 1 Tim. 3:4) a woman plays a significant role in the caring for and managing of
the home.
The Broad Principle of caring for the home:
1 Thessalonians 4:10b - 12 - But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more (love one another)
and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we
instructed you, so that you may live properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.
The issue Paul was impressing on the church at Thessalonica was: in order to serve the living and true
God (1:10), to wait for the return of Jesus (1:11), and to properly love one another (4:9-10), the church
had to learn how to work hard, taking care of their own affairs so that they could actually help others in
their church and community. Apparently there were some in the church who were lazy mooches (2
Thess. 3:6-12) who failed to follow Paul's example. The principle is clear: work hard at taking care of
your life and home so you have something to offer and give. Without proper care of the home, your
ability to impact others with the gospel and truly love is highly limited.
The Specific Principle of caring for the home:
Titus 2:3-5 -Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much
wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and
children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, submissive to their own husbands, that the
Word of God may not be defiled (see also 1 Tim 5:14 for advice to younger widows)
Younger women were to be taught and trained by older women to be workers in their own homes. This
was not a secondary task or one that fell to women because they were somehow less capable. On the
contrary, to manage and work in the home is an immense task (as we will see) that requires faith,
transformation in the gospel, walking by the Spirit, walking in love, and shear selflessness to accomplish.
This is no job for weak women nor is it given to a lesser creation.
A word to single ladies: Please note, when we talk about women and their roles, we often talk about
marriage and kids, which can often be discouraging to those not in that stage or roll. Please remember
the words of Paul in 1 Cor. 7, where he builds a huge case that being single is advantageous in life, and
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contentment comes knowing that you can secure undivided devotion to God (7:35) and you are freed up
to pursue God in many ways. Also, remember that all the principles that are laid out in Prov. 31 apply to
you, they are simply applied differently for your stage.
A. True Vitality is seen in her virtue (31:10)1
Prov. 31:10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
Two things stand out immediately at the beginning of this poem, written by a mom to a son concerning
his future (or present) wife:
 The preciousness and value of this noble wife is in her character, not her external beauty or
social standing. What King Lemuel's mom pointed out was the fact that he needed to dwell on
the character of his wife, because that is more precious than jewels.
 This type of character is rare - Do not think that a woman of virtue is a common thing.
Unfortunately, when women believe that their value, worth, or virtue is bound in their external
beauty, spending time trying to refine that aspect of herself, it does not make her more
valuable, but more common! The rare quality, that which is in small supply but should be in
high demand, is a women with Godly character.
NOTE: A word to married men and women: Husbands, in the illustration of character qualities to come,
praise your wife and Lord that your wife is this! Wives, continue to strive to become this type of
woman, who values and works at the best things, the things that last.
A word to single men and women: Single men (not boys); are these the qualities you are looking for in a
future bride? Are these primary or secondary in your thinking? Single ladies, is this the type of woman
you are becoming? Not to make yourself acceptable to a man, but because you have been made
acceptable through Jesus to your God?
B. True Vitality is seen in her loyalty (31:11-12)
Prov. 31:11-12 - The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him
good and not harm, all the days of her life.
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She is trustworthy - True virtue takes commitment seriously and exercises integrity in every
area of life. A wife who has made the ultimate commitment will be faithful to that commitment,
knowing that she has ultimately committed herself to God in Christ, not simply an earthly
husband (Eph. 5:22-24 - note the references to "to the Lord" and "to Christ")
She is selfless - True virtue grows in selflessness, seeking the good of another (in this case her
husband) over her self. Note that in this passage, it does NOT qualify this with how her husband
treats her. Even when a husband fails in his role or does not act the way he should, a wife will
seek to selflessly serve (just like a husband still leads in a loving, selfless, and sacrificial way even
when his wife is stubborn). There is no ending point of this: not when the kids are out of the
house, or after retirement, or when you no longer feel love. She does him good all the days of
her life. I have watched this with my grandma, who at 90 is taking care of my grandpa who is 92
in a post-stroke, ornery, stubborn, unkind state. She will never speak badly about him, will
express kindness to him, and will serve him until he passes, as unto the LORD. That is true
virtue. That is an excellent wife.
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Note: Proverbs 31:10-31 are written as an acrostic and as a poem, with each line starting with a successive letter
of the Hebrew alphabet. This aided the reader in reciting and memorizing this guidebook of wisdom and
womanhood.
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C. True Vitality is seen in her work ethic (31:13-24)
The call for women to work is similar to men, but different. Both are difficult (impossible without the
Spirit's help) but each are unique. WARNING: This next list is intense and is not for the faint of heart or
the weak of mind. This is for women who trust the power of the Spirit and the work of Christ in their
life.
1. Willing (13)
Prov. 31:13 - She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands
A virtuous woman works willingly, and finds contentment in her work in the home. This is not
begrudging duty, but an opportunity to worship God by her activity, attitude, and labor. Working to
provide clothing for your family is thankless work, but she does the thankless jobs with vigor and a
willing heart.
2. Creative (14)
Prov. 31:14 - She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar
A virtuous woman is not content with the mundane, but is willing to be creative in the way she serves
her family, bringing in freshness and vitality to her family.
3. Rigorous (15-19)
Prov. 31:15-19 - She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and portions for her
maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses
herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable, her
lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hand the distaff and her hands hold the spindle.
Notice a few things about the way a virtuous woman goes about her work in the home:
 She wakes up early, goes to bed late - This does not mean you cannot get adequate sleep, it
simply means she is a worker from the beginning of the day until the end, knowing that caring
for a family takes immense work. She buys and plants a field during the day, and works the
produce of the land until late into the night. Some of you ladies know, that to get time alone
with the Lord, to get your family ready for the day, and to organize your life, it means early
mornings and late evenings. NOTE: this is not the description of a slave wife, but of a queenly
wife who had servants, money, and means. This did not disqualify her from working hard.
 She works in & out of the home - In order to provide and be a worker in her home, it meant
that she had to spend time working outside as well. She was industrious. She was willing to
have a job outside of the home to provide inside. A worker in the home does not mean you
cannot work outside of it. NOTE: This may ebb and flow with the needs and stages of your
family, and takes the trust and decision making of a family and a spouse.
4. Fruitful (20-24)
Her virtue in the home resulted in multiplied fruitfulness for the following:
 Frees her to demonstrate compassion to the poor (20)
"She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy."
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2013
Fulfilling the principle of 1 Thess. 4:10-12, her work in the home allowed for her to show true
compassion with the poor and needy. She had real help to give because she worked hard first.
 Frees her to have her family prepared for anything (21)
"She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She is prepared in every season, and has her family ready for whatever was to come. Clothed in scarlet
can also refer to double layered material, meaning they would be warm in the cold.
 Frees her to recognize God’s grace and blessing (22)
"She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple"
She experiences God's gracious provision for herself, not because she is the center of her universe, but
knows how to walk and enjoy God's blessing with thankfulness.
 Frees her husband to play his role in public (23)
"Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land"
Her work in the home frees her husband up. Her work behind the scenes and ability to manage her
home gives her husband the opportunity to serve in the larger community - church and business world.
She truly supports her husband and is a helpmate, and his success is hers.
 Frees her from having excess to sell (24)
"She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant."
She is able to contribute financially to the family because she has been wise, hard working, creative, and
resourceful. This is an outflow of her primary work in the home, and her ability to earn outside the
home benefits those inside.
Concluding Thoughts and Questions:
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What does it look like to have a gentle and quiet spirit? How would life be different if we spent
as much time on hidden beauty as we did on outer beauty? Men, how can we affirm our
wives/daughters in their beauty?
Men: Are these the virtues of a woman that are attractive to you? Do you let your wife know
this? Women: Are these the virtues you are growing in? Is this what drives you?
How is this picture of femininity different from what we are bombarded with in our culture?
How can we better train our younger women in this?
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